_ Got*** M-is>^;i^,- sP**® » DIGGER CHIEF ta^^flV^tjate. itvrf ^^„Ai to 4« * •»* Gett® By H. I. Tintperley • co^o'"' ^ nUv«9 One iMxng the Japs wanted at Singapore was Aus- ItaUa's Coc^ Beiinett, the man who Imttled them all the way dbwn ttie Maikiyan Peaonsula. They hit them before they land and while was on the island of Singapore, and they didn't get him. He's bacJc on his home grounds, they land. We must attack continu succeeded because of their air support. leeuly and eager to caxty the fight to the Japs ously. We must have aggressive in The Japs weren't loaded down with spiration at the top and brilliant junior equipment. Their main weapons were leadership. These are the only answers tommy-guns, machine guns, and mor to the tactics the Japanese use. tars, and their main means of transport "Australian troops in Malaya suc was the simple and efficient bicycle." ceeded in every clash with the Japanese The man who said the foregoing is by throwing overboard the 1918 text fondly known to his men as "Cocky." It AUSTRALIA need have no fear of mander of the 18,000 members of the book methods. They gave no thought is a term that implies the fighting spirit Z_i the Japanese if it takes advantage A.I.F. in Malaya, and he escaped from to traditional training methods or an of a russet-feathered gamecock, some -^ •*• of Malaya's lessons. If Australia Singapore after the surrender. His re tique battle technique, and solved each thing that Bennett has a lot of. Brass has failed to learn from this experience, port conveyed to the Australian War problem as it arose. From the start, hats of larger tonnage have never had there can be no answer but defeat. In Cabinet was followed by directives to the A.I.F. realized that the only way to terrors for this spunky Australian. He Australia, our one idea must be to at army schools and training centers in stop the Japs was to take the offensive, has just gone ahead and blown them out tack, attack, attack. We must not sit sisting on new lines of defensive tactics. particularly with the bayonet. The of the water. A brush with authority back and stay on the defensive. The "In Malaya, I learned that it is hope Allies must learn that it is by continu occurred just before his appointment to Japanese from general to private had less to underestimate the Japanese," ous offensive action only that the Japs the Malayan command. For some years the offensive spirit and that must be said Gordon Bennett. "It was the uni will be beaten. I found that the Japs Bennett had brooded over the shape of our spirit." versal fault of the British that we un are well organized and trained, and that things to come, and early in 1939 this The man who proclaims this is a red derestimated the power and capacity of they are always on the offensive. civilian, then president of the Chamber headed accountant, a businessman who the Japanese. Our general experience "It was the simplicity of the Japa of Manufacturers of New South Wales is a soldier only when there's a war on, was that the Japanese soldier is inferior nese methods that enabled them to suc and merely an officer in the reserve, but who will play a vital part in aiding to the Australian soldier. I endorse this ceed. They won battles by maneuvering. wrote a series of trenchant articles for General Douglas MacArthur's defense wholeheartedly. When they clashed There was no need for them to make the Sydney Morning Herald in which he of Australia. with the Australians, we won. frontal attacks. They could infiltrate said just what he thought of the Aus "Who's Who" lists him as Major "The Japanese will strike at our air and attack from the rear and snap our tralian General Staff. General Henry Gordon Bennett, C.B., dromes and use them for jumping-off vulnerable communications. There was The theme of the articles was familiar C.M.G., D.S.O., V.D. He was com places for further advances. We must only one real frontal attack, and that enough. Bennett said things that critics 31
PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED Collier's for April 11, 1942 of the British Army and of the United he left for Malaya that he would take a States Army have said many times, masseur with him to keep him limber by Pipe this new tobaccy— chiefly that the democratic armies were rubbing his muscles with eucalyptus oil. preparing for the last war instead of the Ironically, also, the first job he did in No harshness, by dacly! ^ , next. Bennett charged that the Aus this war was to organize a veterans' tralian General Staff was antiquated, and corps. l!OHO! AND IHE FLAVOR OF RDM! < that if they had got beyond the tactical When the Returned Soldiers League, conceptions of Waterloo—which he Australian counterpart of the American doubted—they were thinking too much Legion, decided that the time had come in terms of Spion Kop and Amiens and to form an ex-servicemen's volunteer too little about the dust-up he knew to defense corps, the military authorities be just around the corner. scoffed at the idea of an "old men's Bennett had a close friend in Major brigade." Then Bennett stepped in and, General Henry Wynter, a brilliant staff knocking the corps into first-class fight officer who had worked out probably the ing shape, successfully demanded its first general theory of the defense of incorporation as an integral part of the Australia by Australia;i forces acting Australian military force. Today, as a alone. This, too, was heresy to Wynter's result of his foresight, 50,000 well- imperial-minded colleagues. To them trained veterans are able to take the the assumption (now apparently a fact) field in New South Wales alone, as Aus that Australia might have to defend her tralia girds herself to meet the onrush- self without large British assistance was ing Japanese. In meerschaum or briar a crime of unforgivable proportions. At all events, Wynter was deprived of his The Man for the Job It's cool under -fire ! job as commandant of the staff school in Sydney and posted to a district com After this, Bennett's stock rose so --^^YO HO! AND THE EIAVOR OF RUMman! d in Queensland. rapidly in the public estimation that The technical charge against Wynter when it was decided to send a division was that he had once expressed his to help in the defense of Malaya he was views to a nonmilitary audience. A given the command. His qualifications similar complaint was made by the brass for -this key position were felt to be hats against Cocky Bennett because of threefold: He had had the right kind of his Sydney Morning Herald articles, and fighting experience in the last war, he he resigned his command in the Aus was able to think in terms of current tralian military reserve. All of which needs rather than textbook strategy, would be so much ancient history if it and, most important of all, he had did not offer a deadly Australian parallel everything that the Australian means to what happened in the democratic when he talks about "guts." armies up to the beginning of the pres There can be no shadow of doubt that ent war and for too long afterward, and the battling bookkeeper has red blood if it did not throw light on just what sort in his veins as well as red hair on of soldier Bennett is. his head. During the first World War Down at the Imperial Service Club in he was cited for gallantry eight times. one of Sydney's lanelike, 150-year-old As a youthful major at Gallipoli he led FRIENPS price-did yon ss^, sir? streets, where the younger reserve of a desperate stand on shell-torn Pine ficers do their serious drinking, Cocky Ridge. Shot in wrist and shoulder when One dime's a]ljoup£^, sir! Bennett became something of a hero. He standing up to direct the fire of his men stayed friends, too, with Major General against the Turks, Bennett was evacu Iven Mackay, then headmaster of a ated to a hospital ship but "deserted" YD HO! AND THE FLAVOR OF RUM! swank preparatory school in exclusive back to his unit to carry on the fight the Rose Bay, who was recently recalled, next day. His younger brother, a lad after brilliant work in North Africa, to of twenty, was killed in the same en take charge of Australia's home de gagement. fenses. At twenty-six, Bennett found himself Cocky feels that this is a young man's a colonel and when he was appointed to war. Just before he left for Malaya he command the battle-scarred 3d Aus had dinner at the University Club in tralian Brigade in France he was, at Sydney with a manufacturer who was twenty-nine, the youngest brigadier running a small but essential industry general in the entire Australian army. It but who wanted to get into the army. was while serving with the 3d Brigade as "Don't be a damn' fool," Cocky told him a company signaler that I first came in bluntly. "I wouldn't have a subaltern contact with him in 1917. Company over twenty-three. He's got to be able signalers don't hobnob much with briga to go for days and nights without sleep dier generals, as a rule—their work Malce FRIENDS your selection and still do a job better-than any man takes them a bit too far forward for that under him. You're too old (the reserve —but it seemed that Cocky was always For downri^t pufi^ction— officer was thirty-six). Forget it!" snooping around and he poked his red head into our dugout more than once. TO HO! AND THE FLAVOR OF RUM! The Major Proves a Point Because I was an expert stenographer I was promoted to the job of confidential "Today," Bennett says, "a man com assistant to the battalion adjutant and manding a section has to know as in that capacity I saw many of Cocky's much as a battalion officer did in 1918. operation orders. As I recall them now, In battle the section must be able to they were just the kind of thing you operate without further orders. Maybe would expect to get from a man who was it will be cut off from its own lines but accustomed in civilian life to handling fire power has increased so much that it figures. They were clear, precise and is still a fighting unit. The man running they wasted no words. We were told it must know what it's all about. In exactly what we had to do without any 1918 there was perhaps one battalion beating around the bush, and I cannot concentrated on a half-mile front. Now remember that Bennett ever gave us the front might be ten miles. Each single any lead as to what we were to do if we unit in that ten miles must know just failed to reach our objective. I doubt what to do. The sergeants are the lads. if that entered into his calculations. They've got to be good." It's a far cry from the mud and slush This dinner-table conversation was a of Flanders to the faded splendors of the preview of just what happened when the Raffles Hotel in Singapore, but that is Japs first hit the Australians, and ad where, last September on my way back vanced Australian units had to cut their from a summer dodging bombs in way back to the main lines. They fought Chungking, I caught my next glimpse of squad by squad. They had no orders; Cocky. It didn't seem to me that the only guns. The idea that you can give intervening twenty-three years had men a cut-and-dried set of orders in made a lot of difference. True, the "fiy FRIENDS...tiie new modern battle conditions is, as Bennett bright red thatch had thinned out to a says, "bloody crazy." fiery halo, and the close-clipped mus Cocky Bennett, apostle of the young tache was flecked with gray, but he was Rnm-Cuied smoldi^ man's war, is fifty-five. He swore before still alert and spry. At fifty-five he
PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED Collier's for April 11, 1942 33 could pass for a well-knit forty-five. World War when various" Australian It seems that Bennett never let him units, his own included, were placed self run to seed either physically or under English command. The "diggers" mentally after the last war. He knew made no secret of their dislike of this there was bound to be another show arrangement and fought twice as well down and kept himself in good shape when eventually they were regrouped as "/in Totrf^^^ for it. Though he likes an occasional an all-Australian army corps under Sir Scotch and soda, he has never acquired John Monash. Bennett knew what he the strenuous drinking habits of his fel wanted and the brass hats didn't stop low Australians. Too high-strung to him from getting it. excel at golf, Cocky finds a hard-hitting Nobody who understands the psy game of tennis more in his line. But chology of the Australian "digger" will his favorite prewar recreation was doubt that every man-jack of them lived roaming the Blue Mountains back of up to Bennett's pledge that he'd do Sydney with an army map in his pocket his best. The Australian tends to be and his daughter Joan for company. come impatient with the "spit and pol Gordon Bennett was always thinking ish" regulations so dear to the heart of and talking about the "next war." On the English brass hat, but in action he his Sydney office table usually reposed is second to none in rigid observance of a well-thumbed copy of Max Werner's essential battle discipline. The secret "Military Strength of the Powers" of the Australian army's fame lies in cheek by jowl with the "Australian the ability of the commander to rely Company Directory." His favorite book upon the determination of each man to is an account of the Battle of Tannen- carry out his part. berg and he is able to recite long pas Long before the end of the Gallipoli sages of it from memory. campaign which gave them their bap tism of fire in the last World War, the Consider the Aussie Australians had dispelled the notion that they would prove inefficient from Always a strong advocate of defense lack of discipline. Although they had in depth as a means of countering the not yet acquired the astonishing tech mechanized offensive, Bennett long ago nique which made them invincible as rejected as untenable the theory of shock troops in 1918, they had revealed static defense. He favors the offensive- themselves as magnificent, resourceful defensive principle which the Russians fighters. This new force raised suddenly have employed with such success against from a' people totally unaccustomed to the Nazi hordes. He has developed a restraint was tested under the most ex "unit initiative" plan which fits in per acting conditions of warfare and against fectly with the individualistic tempera literally overwhelming odds and was not ment of the Australian fighting man. found wanting in any single particular The Australian troops who fought in that matters when the guns begin to the Malayan campaign and later, at shoot. Singapore, were probably the best- What was the motive force which sus trained unit to be sent overseas by the tained these men as, at the Gallipoli Commonwealth in this or any other landing and later in Palestine, in France war. There were good reasons for this: and in Flanders, they fought on and on They were under instruction for an un when there seemed no prospect of vic usually long period, and they were in the tory? The answer has been eloquently hands of Cocky Bennett while they were recorded by the official historian of Aus going through it. I have a very vivid tralia's part in the first World War. recollection of what that means. Though "To be the sort of man," he wrote, it would not be correct to describe him "who would give way when his mates either as a fusspot or a Simon Legree, were trusting to his firmness; to be the Bennett is exacting and thorough when sort of man who would fail when the it comes to training. He has an uncanny line, the whole force, and the Allied knack of finding out the soft spots, and cause required his endurance; to have many a subordinate has learned to his made it necessary for another unit to do cost that a high-powered explosive force his own unit's work; to live the rest of lies behind that quietly authoritative his life haunted by the knowledge that manner. Cocky's vocabulary is re he had set his hand to a soldier's task strained but scathing. and had lacked the grit to see it through Bennett's division in Mala.ya was part —that was the prospect which these of a composite British-Indian-Australian men could not face. Life was very force, but, thanks to his dogged in dear, but life was not worth living un sistence upon the point, it operated as less they could be true to their idea of a homogeneous unit. The British High Australian manhood. Standing upon Command wanted to split it up, but Ben that alone, when help failed and hope nett demanded that his bunch should faded, when the end loomed clear in remain in being as a division. Most front of them, when the whole world likely he remembered what happened in seemed to crumble and the heavens to France in the early part of the last fall in, they faced its ruin undismayed."
And what a delight your day becomes . . . after your reviving Ivory Bath! You take a new in terest in home, children, friends, fun. That fresh, clean "Ivory" smell leaves you as fresh and dainty as a lady of leisure. And your skin feels so smooth all oyer after being "babied" with baby's own beauty soap. Get a Fresh Start every day in an Ivory velvet-suds Bath!
99*V"X»% PURE • IT FLOATS TRAOCMARK REG. U. S. VAT. tttt. « rROCTCR 4 QAMILC fxn, a, TJ^ESff Sr/IPT... TuAe Oft. mK/&im
PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED SQCONY-VACUUM
'J, I
ur Friendly Mobilgas Dealers GIVE YOUR CAR A "FRESH START
PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED 50,000 Mobilgas dealers — from coasMo-coast —are ready to serve you. You'll find them eager to give your car vital services that will add precious extra mileage. Drive in and enjoy the Friendly Service that helps make your car LAST LONGER!
"FREE AIR? SURE-YOUR TIRES 1^^: "LET US LUBRICATE YOUR CAR "WE'LL KEEP HER SHINING - CHECKED EVERY WEEK!" te*3 EVERY 1,000 MILES!" i t\> WAXED EVERY 3 MONTHS!" •The finish on modern • Overinflaled tires wear at • Careful chassis lubrication automobile bodies lasts the center. Underinflated tires does more than any other many years, if properly wear at the shoulders (5 lbs. service to prolong the life of treated. This is an ail- too little pressure can increase your car. It pays to have an too frequently disre wear 10%!). expert who knows the re garded step in making Whether you need gasoline quirements of your car do cars last. or not—come in once a week this job. Our famous Mobi- Make up your mind and let us check your tires. lubrication Chart shows not only to keep your car running—but also to have a Incorrect inflation can cut tire every part of your car that car you'll be proud to drive. Bring it to us for washing life as much as 25%. needs protection! when it needs it—for waxing four times a year! Make your car's looks last, too!
} "LET US SWITCH YOUR "LET US MAKE SURE YOUR TIRES EACH 5,000 MILES!' 8 GEARS ARE PROTECTED!"
FRONT • Modem gears operate at • The right rear tire, for example, pressures up to 300,000 wears twiceas fast as the left front. pounds per square inch. It Regular switching makes the set 14% 19% is important to use the last longer. right type of oil for your Incorrect wheel aligimient and particular type of gears. balance can also cause rapid wear. 29% We have that type of gear Let us check these, and inspect 38% oil. Let us check the trans each tire for tread cuts and bruises. mission and gears of your car every 1,000 miles. PERCENTAGE FIGURES SHOwl RELATIVE TIRE WEAR- J SPARE
''YOUR BATTERY NEEDS OUR ^olijloif "LET US CLEAN THOSE PLUGS- CHECK-UP EVERY 2 WEEKS!" HELP YOU SAVE GASOLINE!"
• Let us see that the battery • Dirty spark plugs can de is filled to a safe level. It's crease gasoline mileage as also important to make sure much as 15% ! Your spark connections are tight that plugs should be inspected, a faulty generator is not over- cleaned, and regapped reg draining battery... and, most M^liMADEW Oil COMPANYIH' ularly. . at least once every important, that battery is kept 'M U.S.A. 5,000 miles.This can mean ry charged to full capacity .Proper OIL IS "^ better performance as well maintenance can lengthen AMMUIimOM SOCONY-VACUUM OIL CO., INC. as important savings. battery life greatly! and AfRUates: Magnolia Petroleum Co., USE IT WISEIY ! General Petroleum Corporation of Calif.
"LET US CHANGE YOUR OIL "LET US FLUSH YOUR COOLING "WE'LL CLEAN YOUR AIR FILTER EVERY 1,000 MILES!" SYSTEM TWICE A YEAR!" 10 » -CHECK OIL FILTER!" • Buy a good motor oil... • Accumulated dirt and ivith a good reputation be scale in the radiator pre • A dirty air Alter wastes hind it. And don't wait for vent heat from being car gasoline...permits grit to ^il to become grit-filled, ried away from red-hot enter your engine. Check
PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED 36 Collier's for April 11, 1942 SMOKER'S HACK-Case No. 13 FaithfiiUy, Judith Continued from page 13
sky, its heat blown out of the world by and a big and very capable man later en the wind which went crying on into tered and was introduced to her as Tom space. Kertcher. They were all friendly peo "You'll board at Mrs. Rand's hotel ple and they all had the air of being in Ingrid," he said. "Wasn't anything agreeable and this lasted until one more out on the flats four months ago. Then man came to the hotel—thin and some Teddy Roosevelt opened the reserva what dry of face and with a disagree tion to homesteadin' and five hundred able pair of eyes. He was, Mrs. Rand people filled it in a week. Big argu said in her soft voice, Clyde Jacks. ment on the school. Some wanted it, Clyde Jacks gave Judith a civil, care some didn't." ful stare and made it plain how he stood "How could anybody not want a on the school. "I was—and am—against school?" such fool waste of money." As long as "This country," he said, "requires a he remained in the room there was strong back and a weak mind. Not that definitely less friendliness; these other I'm prejudiced. Never had schoolin' people clearly disliked him and he knew myself, but maybe it is necessary. it and showed his bristles, and then de World's changin'." parted, "Do you have a homestead?" Judith jwas very tired and presently He shook his head. "Man like me made her excuses and returned to her wouldn't like a hundred and sixty acres room. She wrapped herself in a robe, after chasin' cows all his life. I'll be found her writing materials and drew movin' on one day, away from the bob- a chair before the bureau to compose a wire. Fences and houses close together letter: ain't natural." He dragged the team to a stop, shouting "Who-aa!" He tucked "Dear Harry: I have arrived and this the loose blanket more securely around is the first night. I had thought of the her and sent the horses on again with West as being mountainous but there is a yip and a yell. In the forward distance nothing here but distance stretched out dots of dust showed in the haze and at as flat as the floor of Charpenter's hall the end of an hour they began to pass as far as you can see. The wind is blow wagons full-loaded with household ing and the hotel shakes. I think I mind goods and families. the dust most of all. There isn't much here to remind me of the neat, white ""pHE weak ones give up," pointed houses and the green lanes of Salem." ••• out Charley Graves. "They came for somethin' free, figurin' to get rich. But She wished to add that she missed it is a year until crop time and winter's him, that she was afraid and that his comin' and there's considerable work presence was her greatest desire. But and starvin' to go through. People they were really not yet engaged and wantin' things free never have the sand so she ended it by writing, "Faithfully, to stick. These kind have been leavin' Judith," sealed the note into an enve for a month. What's left now are the lope and addressed the envelope to tough—good tough and bad tough." Harrison Gurdon, Salem, Massachu A great woolly grayness raced across setts. This was her first year of teach the sky as soon as sunset came and the ing and perhaps it had been foolish of rustle and roar of the wind was all about her to wish to adventure so far from them. They began to run by wagons home. It had seemed an exciting loaded with wood, these moving toward thought at the time; something like the the blur of a settlement in the distance. far voyaging of her earlier sea-captain Three hours exactly after leaving Vir ancestors sailing around the world. gil the buckboard came into Ingrid, Now she was afraid. which was half a dozen houses on the prairie, and wheeled before Mrs. Rand's WENSON and his wife moved home hotel. Mrs. Rand, young and soft-faced S ward through the rough wind. Swen- and pretty, stood at the door. "I'm glad son steadied his wife with his gentle old you're here," she told Judith. "It is al man's voice: "Lean against me, Anna. ways a tiresome ride. Charley, take the Turn your face from the wind. Hold trunk to the corner room upstairs." my arm." Judith entered a living room warmed "Winter's coming," she said. "We by a huge central stove. Mrs. Rand have eleven dollars. It will be a whole lighted an extra lamp, and Charley year before we can see a garden. It will Graves, having carried the trunk up be hard. Nils." stairs, came down and paused by the "Very hard," he said. "If I were a stove. Judith noticed that he was or younger man—" dinarily a shy man but when he smiled, "You should not speak of that." as he did now, the devil flickered in his Their shanty lay a half mile down the eyes. "Feel the house shake? That's road on one of the flat's best homestead the way it is out here—bend or break." quarters. Swenson led his wife inside UNION He went on out of the house. and moved around to light a lamp. "I MME Mrs. Rand showed Judith to her would be easier in my mind," he said, room and departed. Wind jolted the "if there was wood. But at four dollars VALUABLE COUPON ON EACH PACK ... TWO EXTRA IN CARTONS house like a giant hand and this motion the cord—" (iimd in tilt: I niltJ Sialic fur Jnzens n' lu.\:ir\ premiums iili' th, PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED Collier's for April 11, 1942 37 son knew it and would not let him see "You're broke," pointed out Jacks, that she knew it. "and you will lose it." "I will build a little fire," said Swen- Swenson murmured, "That is prob "A Standout! Sure of Success!" son. ably right," and fell silent. His wife had "No. We will go to bed and save moved into the other room, out of sight. THAT'S HOW GOOO-LOOKING HAIR STAMPS YOU! that wood." Swenson sighed and dipped his head Somebody knocked and opened the and had his thoughts, and knew that door without waiting an answer. Clyde every word spoken by Jacks was wholly Jacks came in, bulky-shaped inside his true; it had been a problem in his mind fleece-lined storm breaker, his long nose since the beginning. Suddenly he hated reddened by the wind. He had a lan Jacks, but he thought of his wife and tern with him and carefully dimmed it he came to his hard conclusion. "I will to save oil. "I been noticin'," he said, accept the bargain," he said. "you ain't got your wood yet." Jacks gave Swenson a sharp, sly look. "No," said Swenson, "we have not. "None of this is on paper.. You could Have a chair." do me, but I take you for a man of Jacks ignored the invitation. "You're your word, or I wouldn't be botherin'. shy of money. We all are. But you Say nothin about it to people." He went ain't goin' to get through the winter out into the brawling night. without ten-twenty cords of wood." Nils Swenson stood in the cold small "You are maybe right," agreed Swen room, knowing the last and greatest of son courteously. He did not like this many defeats; and he wanted the sup man but he would not let himself show port and the nearness of his wife but it. "Momma," he said, "I will light a he would not go to her, thinking she fire and you will make Clyde some cof would be feeling worse than he felt. fee." Then he heard her voice behind him as "Even if you had wood," said Jacks she came out of the little bedroom, lov in his dry, pressing voice, "how you ing as it bad always been: "It is nothing, goin' to plow and plant and how you NUs. We are together. That is enough." goin' to fence, and how you goin' to harvest?" UDITH dreaded failure. Now, look- "Those things are to be considered J• ing out upon the sixteen youngsters M when they come," said Swenson. seated in the dull light of late afternoon, "Consider them now," said Jacks. she knew she was failing. The long rough "When time comes to prove up and take wind, ceaselessly blowing since her ar title you got to have your improve rival ten days before, shook the flimsy ments made and you got to pay the schoolhouse, and the sound of it made government five dollars an acre. You the youngsters nervous; they turned ain't goin' to do it. You're broke and in their seats and scraped their feet you'll freeze if you stay. You'll lose along the floor and whispered and would this quarter except you get help. Now not keep their attention on lessons. Tara listen, I will stake you to twenty cords was at the moment reading aloud from of wood and 1 will give you money the fifth-grade book, her voice indis enough to keep grub. When time comes tinct. The end of the hardest day so far to get title I'll advance enough for you was at hand and the cordwood piled to pay the government's fee. Then you around the schoolhouse half covered deed the quarter to me and I will throw the windows, so that the light, never in another five hundred dollars for you." very good, was now almost gray. Kurt "The government says I cannot do Dyckman made a fugitive motion with ^^Sftii!^-^^ that," said Swenson. his hand half under the desk and the "The government won't allow a deal restless youngsters began to titter. Keep VOUT Haw a D , - ^ ^^'^. to be made before you get a deed. After "Kurt," Judith said, "straighten on that you can sell where you please. You your seat and be still." got my word and I will take yours and That boy, she realized at last, was the and the we say nothin' to nobody. What's the cause of her trouble. He was not a boy VlTALtS ^ difference? Half the folks on the flat at all, but an eighteen-year-old giant ..,0.SECON0 WORKOI«i _ ^h—Your hair will be doin' the same thing." as large as two ordinary men, with a and the J. to Co! "It was my wish," said Swenson dim, sly mind which would never grow ,0S,.—••»°^°Uh no ••?»«"»- slowly, "to make a nice place of this. big enough to grasp seventh-grade work. stays in pl»"7„Twha''*'»°'^'*« JO S..on-. w »^^,. U circuUnon lead»et''lo«*'- '^"^ Workout" routs We're not young, and movin' around is The school could do nothing for him simulating "«^f^ of necessary otl ?5lSus"60-Second>J-,^ helps not good now. Five hundred is not and he did not belong in it; he was a much for this nice land." mountainous shape above the other lit- «»^*TexfeSve falling b-'' vegetable oils « ^.^^^ ^^^^ ha« helps you Keep y «^"""^ fresh! natural lu^^*- ^ }\ uu bJU takes on a fresn, ^^^^^^^ No matter how smart you are in business Far more than good looks in a man, you're shelved till someone buys you. So women admire a look of success! So package yourself for sale into a better groom yourself for popularity with the job! Let handsome hair smarten up your Vitalis "60-Second Workout"! Let well- appearance! Let the Vitalis "60-Second groomed hair touch your personal pic Workout" give you the successful look ture with the distinction that women that always—everywhere—impresses.' admire! Get Vitalis at your druggist's. Product of Bristol-Myers "Listen, lady, yoa won't be back in no hoar!" CARDNEH REA USE VITALIS AND THE "60-SECOND WORKOUT" PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED 38 Collier's ior April 11, 1942 tie figures of her class and his furtive the dumb folks that go crazy when the rebellion ran among them and ruined wind blows. It's the ones that feel too all her efforts at discipline. much." She said, "That will be all, Tara." She felt a small glow of surprise. He She sat at the desk before them, slim had little learning of the kind she taught and straight, her gray eyes very seri and yet now and then his observations ous, her small shoulders squared. The dug deep. Harry Gurdon, so wise and children were on the edge of their seats, sometimes so prematurely weary with ready to bolt at her word of dismissal. his culture, could not have said it bet Kurt Dyckman stretched both legs into ter. She felt slightly disloyal for mak the aisle, knowing she disliked this. ing the comparison, and then her own nee you taste Each day his impudence increased. She troubles returned and she grappled with said, "School is out. Kurt, I wish to see them as far as the small shanty of the you." Swensons. Clyde Jacks was at the mo The youngsters made a scurrying ment unloading wood beside the house, storm down the aisles; they went cry bending and lifting with a kind of me you know.,. ing and shouting into the wind. Kurt chanical regularity. Mrs. Swenson stood Dyckman lifted his huge bulk and at the door, beckoning. walked deliberately away. Judith Mur Judith noticed the narrow way Charley ray waited until he had reached the Graves looked upon Clyde Jacks. She door before speaking again. "Kurt," she said, "The Swensons seem lonely. I'll said, "just a moment." drop in for a moment." She wanted to He went through the doorway and thank him for walking with her but sud turned and sent back his dull grin. Ju denly she was embarrassed and turned dith Murray stiffly checked her anger quite abruptly from him. Mrs. Swenson and rose and crossed the room, going waited for her at the doorway with an into the yard to face him. old woman's vague and beaming smile. "Kurt," she said, "I know it is diffi "Coffee is ready for you," said Mrs. cult for you to be among children. After Swenson. "It is cold today." all, you're a man. I need a man to help me with some of the chores. I'd like to HARLEY GRAVES rode back count on you." C toward the schoolhouse. Wind He listened to her with his head low shredded out his cigarette at once and ered. He was slow-minded, and there wind lifted loose earth from the plowed fore suspicious. He laboriously turned lands and darkened the air. He thought, the proposition over in his mind and "There goes the soil, hell-bent for China." looked up with his unpleasant grin. "I There never had been any excuse in his got chores enough at home." He came language for the plowing under of this half a step nearer, made bold from beautiful grass; and still he had some knowing she could not control him. reservations lately. Maybe it wouldn't "You're a mighty pretty woman," he do to judge too soon. People had to murmured, and walked away from her. farm somewhere. Past the schoolhouse Some of the youngsters had stayed in he saw youngsters dotting the distant the background. Now they ran on, horizon, homeward bound; and he saw knowing she had failed to control Kurt. Kurt Dyckman's big-lumped shape for It had not helped discipline at all. ward on the road. He narrowed his eyes She was angered enough to cry and on Kurt and rode up to him. she thought, "That meanness should "Wait a minute," he said, and got be beaten out of him." She put the down. The giant boy's face looked upon thought away as unworthy—and lifted him and showed insolence; he was her head to see Charley Graves sitting a full head taller than Charley and a on his horse twenty yards off. She natural bully. Charley considered him wheeled into the schoolhouse, hating to with a grave thought, and got down. have him witness her distress. There wasn't any use of explaining any thing; only way to break a bad horse XIZHEN she at last closed the school was to beat him humble. He was tak "' door behind her Charley Graves was ing some chances, considering Kurt's still waiting, smoking a cigarette, one leg plain animal strength. tossed across the saddle horn. The wind He went at Kurt the same way he whipped color into his face and he wore chopped trees, one lick at a time. He no coat and time seemed to mean noth beat him on the soft flesh under his ing to him. He dismounted and fell into jaw, he dug at Kurt's flanks. They went step beside her, leading his horse down ambling down the road as they fought the rutty road toward Ingrid. and once Kurt got in a wild swing and "Why," she asked, "did they pile the jarred Charley clear to his boots. Char wood against the windows?" ' ley ducked his head, and took a chance "Come a good windstorm, it sort of on his knuckles with a full flush punch anchors the shebang. That shack ain't on Kurt's chin. Kurt went to his knees. PROOF stout." Like all animals, he was all through "It is a cheap, flimsy thing." when something stronger came along; "Folks," he said in his easy way, there wasn't any pride to make him "don't have much to work with out here. fight after he was hurt. He looked up at Charley and shook his head. His lips KENTUCKY Not much money and not much time from their own chores." were bleeding and he put a hand on STRAIG HT She was rebuked and knew it, but she them and saw the blood, and a thin point of fear glittered in his eyes. "Cut it out. BOURBON kept still, involved in her own troubles as she marched along the up-and-down Cut it out." WHISKY ruts of the road with the wind beating Charley Graves swung up to his sad at her face. dle. The kid was a mountain of butter, "Everything all right?" he asked. a bully turned into a yellow pup. Char "Havin' any trouble at school?" ley said, "Your education's all over— "No," she said. "Charley, when will don't ever go near that school again," this wind stop?" slanted his hat over his forehead and "Maybe in an hour. Maybe not for a loped away. month." He cast his quick, direct glance ^etmou^ at her. She felt its bite, its force. Then UDITH drank Mrs. Swenson's strong he looked away, idly saying: "You got J Scandinavian coffee brew and felt to learn to bend with it, or you'll bust. considerably improved, and meanwhile Kind of hard on educated folks." observed how little the Swensons had. "The way you speak," she said, "it There were these two rooms, sealed in sounds as though an education is a with building paper, and a shed built on handicap." behind. The shed had a floor and a win "The way I figure, education ought to dow and tar-paj>ered walls. ^j^^nve^uctA ^ueWW/uiJf^ make a person see more and feel more. "It's nice," she said, "that you have That's all to the good, except that if your wood." you're strong on feelin', you're goin' to Mrs. Swenson was a guileless soul BROWN-FORMAN DISTILLERY CO., INC., of LOUISVILLE in KENTUCKY be more miserable in bad times. It ain't and her smile simply faded and she sat PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED yes I Chopped deef thafs with her eyes pointed to the door. "Yes," sallies of humor and she saw Harry as she said, without heart, "that's nice he wrote it, a tall man, leisurely and enough." whimsical, with a character that pro ab-so-\ute-lY GUmtmBQf "Where's Mr. Swenson?" duced actions always right and never "Helpin' Mr. Carney build a bam." unexpected. He was a comfortable man. Mrs. Swenson shook her head. "Even She saw him; yet as she brought his face for two dollars a day he is too old for before her mind's eye there was a that. Maybe he's on top of the roof and vagueness that was strange, as though this wind blows him off. If it wasn't for distance dimmed what he was. the wood he wouldn't feel so small." She had her dinner and returned to Mrs. Swenson drew up the edges of her the room and began her letter to Harry. apron to her face and began to cry. Not She sat long still, thinking of her own with much sound; the tears rolled along troubles at school, feeling the cold dread her smooth, flushed, girl-like face, into of failure; and the problem of the Swen the waiting apron, and presently she sons never was out of her mind. Pres sighed and ceased to cry. "You know ently she sighed and went to bed, the how that is?" she asked and then, need letter unfinished. There had to be some ing to tell this to someone, she related way of waking Kurt Dyckman's good in the whole story of the homestead and stincts. That was the purp>ose of educa the wood and Clyde Jacks to Judith. tion. "You must say nothing. Swenson prom ised, and when he promises a thing he TITHEN she faced the class next mom- will do it." ^^ ing and saw he was missing she felt 1. Birds Eye Chopped Beef is some for quality and freshness! Birds Eye "If the government doesn't permit an enormous relief, and immediately thing new.' 1—it's real steer beef—care• Chopped Beef is uniform ... depend agreements like that," said Judith, afterward was reproached by her ccwi- fully selected. 2—it's guaranteed! Both able. Never too fat—never too lean! "then the promise needn't be kept. He's science. He did not appear after lunch taking advantage of you." hour and this day was her best day un "Poor people cannot choose." til, when school was out, young Reeves Judith said, "Right is right," and Pownder brought the news: looked at the bare walls and the neat "Kurt ain't comin' back any more. ness of Mrs. Swenson's kitchen cup Charley Graves beat the tar outa him board. She moved to the end of the last night and told him to stay away." room and looked into the shed. "You She was glad it was gray enough in should talk to Jacks. Make him see the room to conceal her blush. All the what is fair." youngsters rushed at the doorway, leav "You are still a girl. Things in this ing her to struggle with the information. world are not all straight." She was relieved to know Kurt was Judith said, "Thank you for the cof gone; but this relief shocked her con fee," and left the cabin, marching across science and she grew slowly angry and the rolling Swenson quarter section to the anger remained as she marched ward Ingrid's buildings a mile distant. against the endless wind. Charley had Wind slapped her and dust rolled like done something for her which she should smoke around her. She bowed her head, have done herself. Moreover, every thinking of the Swensons and knowing body would know at once about it and 2. This superiative Birds Eye Beef is juiciness and real beef flavor! Instant for the first time their desperate pov speculate on her attitude toward Char chopped by knives—not ground! This erty. Then she thought, "Perhaps oth ley Graves. She was in a grim frame of Quick-Freezing seals in all that good ers here are equally poor," and was mind when she turned in at the Swenson retains every last bit of the original ness and flavor! appalled at the quick suspicion that her house. Mrs. Swenson had the coffee al pay of fifty dollars a month caused ready poured. somebody privation. "I must move from the hotel to a She stopped at the Brewertons' for her place nearer to school," said Judith. expected letter from Harry Gurdon and "Your house is the closest. If you will went on to the hotel. She read the letter put a bed in the shed it wiU make a very in her room, its serious lines, its little satisfactory room. Twenty dollars a 3. Fairiy priced for all budgets. Birds once—today! And remember! If you Eye Chopped Beef is ridiculously easy don't exclaim, "Finest I ever ate!", to buy—just as easy to cook! Try it this you'll get your MONEY BACK! "Are yon qaUe sure yonr compass is right, Hol- lis? This hardly seems Ihe place tor a rally!" H. J DAVIS uia vol"®' O^uS^H. cit CORN ^h Whole V'*'"'**- PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ^•"^TcS's--""'"'- ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED 40 Collier's for April 11, 1942 month is what I would be charged else cupped hands, grave and searching. where. Is that ail right?" Tom Kertcher came in, looking puzzled. "Daughter," said Mrs. Swenson, "it "Swensons just walked into Clyde FANS...BE BRIGHT, TOO! will be cold." Jacks' place. Now I wonder." "We have wood, haven't we? And Judith remembered a question she perhaps later we can get a little stove." had in her mind and now asked it: - She saw that Mrs. Swenson was about "What is a quarter section worth after to cry and so hurried on with her brisk it has been patented?" tone. "You will have rent money enough "Depends," said Kertcher, "where it to pay Clyde Jacks for the wood. You is. Anything within two-three miles of must go to him and ask him to release here is worth five thousand dollars of you from your promise. Do it tonight anybody's money." if you possibly can. I'll see about the Charley Graves casually murmured: bed today and perhaps I can move over "Any particular claim in mind, Judith?" tomorrow." She carried the talk rapidly She shook her head, but all these peo to the end and left the house at once ple were watching her and she felt they and moved across the quarter section knew why she had asked. They were toward Ingrid. When she reached the sharp and wise in many things; not in road near the settlement she saw Char things that came from books, but in ley Graves riding forward. She stopped the knowledge of people and the com in the dust, waiting for him. When he mon troubles of people—the close and rode up and prepared to dismount she small and always pressing items of liv pitched into him: ing. She thought of the Swensons and "You stay right there. I'm angry with worry came upon her and she looked you. I'm ashamed of you. What gave over the room and went out into the you the notion to interfere in my af windy darkness. She stood there and in fairs? Everybody will laugh at me for a little while she saw the Swensons needing a man to straighten out my leave Clyde Jacks' house and walk for troubles. What made you think it would ward, very slowly. When they came to be any good to knock Kurt down and the hotel they paused and Mrs. Swen scare him away from school? That's son said: "It was a nice thing of you, just force. It doesn't settle a thing. Do but Clyde said it was a promise. So, if you know what I'm going to do? I'm we gave our word and he will not give it going to tell him to come back to school. back to us, we will keep it." I've got to find a better answer than yours. Education isn't violence." OHE watched them go on, shadows He looked down at her, not smiling •^ moving slowly into the beat of the but close to a smile; and the admiration steady wind; and she was outraged in his eyes further irritated her. He again, and this outrage made up her said: "The lad's a dumb brute and the mind for her. She walked straight down only kind of education he savvies is the road, past the store and Brewerton's a punch in the beak. I reckon I was a place, toward Clyde Jacks' window light, "fans tXptCt a star to have exquisitely bright teeth always. And we've found we can"... pretty good teacher." He rolled in the and she walked with the inflammatory says lovely Paulette Goddard. Many of Hollywood's most famous smiles are brighter, saddle, perfectly self-contained. "You sense of justice of all her ancestors rov can invite him back but if he comes I'll ing within her, and she was shocked at are whiter because of Calox Tooth Powder. whale him again, which he knows. So the vigor of her hatred. People, she he won't come back." thought, shouldn't let themselves go so "Charley Graves, you stay out of my freely; but she still felt all this, and business! There's too much violence knocked on Clyde Jacks' door with firm out here. You have taught him some knuckles. thing wrong." When he opened the door—a long, "I taught him that bein' balky will slack man who seldom bothered to bring him a beautiful punch in the nose. shave-—-she walked into the room, past That's education in any language." him, and waited for him to turn about. "Fighting," she said, "settles noth It was a queer room, more like a wood ing at all." shed than anything else, filled with "Maybe not," he said, "but it sure gunnysacks and bits of wire and rope does a lot of mind-changin'." and empty bottles and pieces of har Mffiioir She went by him with her outrage. ness. A stove stood at one end and "How can you reason with a man like there was a table made out of packing YOUR DENTIST FOLLOWS BOTH I that?" she asked herself. She stepped boxes and a bed in the corner with dirty into Solomon's store and priced a bed quilts on it. Then she was aware of and a mattress and bedding and made Clyde Jacks' narrow, scarcely civil SO CAN YOU - WITH CALOX arrangements to have it taken to the stare. Swensons the following day. In her "If you want anything of me," he said, Notice your dentist's technique when he removes deposits, cleans off surface stains. room she seated herself at the bureau "you ain't goin' to get it. Everybody gives you a deiital cleaning. First, he Your mouth is stimulated, refreshed. And before the unfinished letter to Harry wants somethin'. Just because I'm Gurdon, but could write nothing. He thrifty and work hard is no sign I got w^ith every stroke Calox polishes, too, thoroughly cleans your teeth. Then, and was far away, and vague, and her prob to share with them that ain't got push only then, does he polish them. making your teeth shine with their own lems here were too real to bring the enough to keep from starvin'." In your home care why be satisfied clear, white, natural lustre. memory of him before her. She sat "The Swensons can pay for their with less than cleaning and polishing In Hollywood, where a smile may mean quite still and felt the shock of knowing wood. That should be enough for you." BOTH, when you can get Calox.' a fortune, many a star trusts to Calox- he was not uppermost in her mind; and "They would of starved or froze if at last went down to supper. they stayed. If they left they'd of lost Calox gives you not one or two, but care. Your smUe may be even brighter the place. I made a fair deal and I ex five special ingredients for cleaning aiid than you know. Try Calox and see. HE hated to tell Mrs. Rand of her pect 'em to keep it." brightening. With every stroke of the McKesson & Robbms, Inc., Bridgeport, S decision to move but Mrs. Rand, the "They can pay you now." brush, Calox helps detach food particles. Connecticut. "Quality since 1833." most understanding woman, seemed "They couldn't when we dickered. A pleased. "The Swensons," she said, deal is a deal." "need that help badly, and this is the "You can't keep a bargain that's nicest possible way. You are kind to against the law." think of it. I will lend you sheets and He gave her a narrower stare. "Ain't pillow slips." you got enough to do without inter- There was a deep feeling of neigh ferin'? Half the folks out here will sell borly obligation among them, the close as soon as they get deeds." tie of people all in a common lot, and "But they can't make agreements to that came upon Judith with its good sell before they own," she pointed out. ness. Later, when the usual group He shrugged his shoulders. "Amounts dropped in, Mrs. Rand spoke of the to the same thing." move, and Judith felt the approval of "No, it doesn't. If I told the land of their eyes. She had done something fice you'd have trouble." which placed her within the group; it "You got nothin' to prove it," he said. was the first time she had sensed this. Then he grinned when he saw he had Charley Graves stood with his back to her. "The Swensons ain't the kind to the stove, his head bent over the manu talk after they promise somethin'." /•^ Guaranteed b)r facture of a cigarette; he lighted it and This grew worse and worse. He was Calox helps your teeth shine like the ^OoodHousekeeping; his glance struck over the edge of his stars'—l>y bringing out natural lustre a sharp man, trading on other people's PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED Collier's for April 11, 1942 41 honesty and he was amused at her fool "Charley," she said, "I know what ishness. When she thought of the you're thinking. But this was much dif Swensons, the whole thing became un ferent." bearable. "You think," she said very "Ahuh," said Charley Graves. He was distinctly, "you're safe, don't you?" She a very deliberate man and he took his looked around her and her eyes fell upon own time to build and light a cigarette. a yard-long piece of harness strap with a The matchlight flickered in his eyes and metal buckle at one end. She stopped went out; then he said, coolly, tantaliz- and she seized it and she said, "I'll show ingly, "Still, it was violence in my book. you how to be unfair," and slashed him Mighty shocking. Can't imagine the ex across the face with the leather, its ample you're settin' young children." buckle taking him on the mouth. He She had nothing to say. She watched backed and jumped aside, and came in the glow of the cigarette make its shine and seized the strap. She held it with on his long, dark cheeks. He pondered one arm and slapped him across the face the situation deeply and she waited, not and then he seized her and shook her knowing why she should. Wind ripped means longer Life! until she grew dizzy. After that she felt across the flats, bringing its dust and its cold air pour into the room and Clyde curt chill; she swung a little, coming into Jacks had jumped away from her. the shelter of his tall body. Charley Graves and Tom Kertcher were "You know," he said, "if I was a OR YEARS the story of Macmillan RING-FREE Motor Oil has been in the doorway. farmin' man, I wouldn't homestead on a story of reducing friction and wear in engines, keeping them cleansed Jacks said in a changed voice, "This this side of the river." F of carbon and saving fuel. It's the same story today. wasn't anything I started." "Wouldn't you, Charley?" Both men stared at Jacks in a way "I'd go across the river and lease a Yes, it's the same story, even though prolonging the life of your car is that made her afraid. They were solid, chunk of that good land from the In more important than merely reducing the cost easy men but now they were dangerous; dians. Foolish of me to think of such there wasn't any mercy in them at all. a thing, though." of operation. Kertcher said, "Well, Charley, you want "Is it?" she said. "Good night, Char For the same improved lubrication that has to do it, or you want me to?" ley." Jacks backed to the far end of the been keeping motorists ahead of the formation room and stood sallow and sullen, OHE went inside and straight up the of carbon, giving them more miles to the gallon deeply afraid. She put a hand up to her •»^ stairs to her room. She lighted the of gas, quicker acceleration and fewer repairs disturbed hair and was calm. Now she lamp and stood still. She saw herself in knew how this would be. "The wood is the mirror, her shaken hair and the and replacements—that same improved lubrica four dollars a cord," she said. "Ten smudge of dust on her face, and she was tion will now make present cars last longer. cords is forty dollars. They will pay you rather proud of what had happened. Was ten dollars a month." sin always this pleasant? She sighed and Take carbon-removal, for instance. RING- "All right," Jacks agreed quickly. sat down to the unfinished letter, still FREE is refined by an exclusive patented "That's all right." Charley Graves had conscious of the beat of the wind; but process which retains a vital characteristic of the original crude oil, enabling started across the room at him. Judith it didn't trouble her at all. It had be RING-FREE to dissolve the binder which holds carbon to the metal parts put out a hand and stopped Charley. come a familiar sound and she got to "Then," she said, "that ends the Swen thinking of herself as one of the group— of your engine. You keep ahead of the formation of sons' promise to you?" one of the slow and steady people mak carbon because RING-FREE cleanses your engine "All right," said Jacks and kept his ing their fight against the new land. She and floats off these particles of carbon as it lubri eyes on Charley Graves. took up her pen, well knowing she could Judith said, "You hear that, Charley? say nothing of these events to Harry. cates. What then was there left to say to He doesn't hold the Swensons to any Or take RING-FREE's savings in fuel. In 1094 promise." She was still a little afraid him? for Jacks' safety. These two big men She thought of it a long while, wrote certified road tests in many makes of cars in widely- were pretty definite in what they a few sentences and prepared to add her separated parts of the country, it was found that thought; she caught Charley's arm and usual "Faithfully, Judith." But before savings in the consumption of gas up to 10 per cent were not uncommon. turned him around, feeling his unwill she did she brought the image of Harry ingness, and drew him toward the door. Gurdon forward and looked at his face Or take starting wear. RING-FREE's cling and film strength, its penetration She said, "I brought it on—I had to hit a long while, and saw it slip backward through closely-fitting parts, offers unusual protection him to make him reasonable." She took into the mists. She realized then it even to vertical metal parts. That means less friction to Tom Kertcher's arm also and got both would never again come forward clearly men outside the door. As a matter of to her: and she knew also that some moving parts after an engine has been standing idle. safety she reached back and shut the time during the day Salem had ceased Whether RING-FREE is used in an automobile or a door on Jacks, seized the arms of the men to be her home. How strange this was. again and led them toward the hotel. She signed her letter simply, "Judith truck, a tractor or a bus or a stationary engine, the ex They didn't say a word all the way to Murray," and turned it over on the bu clusive properties developed by its the hotel. She stopped here, and Tom reau and rose to leave the room. She patented refining process mean heard the group talking below her and Kertcher started to turn in. He looked long life. back, suddenly smiling. "Kind of a she wanted to join that warm and com tough citizen here, Charley," he mur fortable circle. She hoped Charley was You have probably been intending to ask your inde mured, and went on into the hotel. there. pendent filling station or garage proprietor about RING-FREE. You know that he is an expert, free to recommend ^''"t-C . J^ f JL"' ' •'C <• 'V--*<.y'~t .« Mi^y^^g^^^r^^ r~i anything that he knows is best ^^I^StKi^^SimBS^'' ^T'y^ ^ \^/^ for your car. Don't delay asking him his opinion. Now m^^^\Jl^^^^\^ that the life of your car is so vital to you, let him tell 1 '^t^^^^g^ IHJ.<^mKZ:.B '" ^^Vtv-j/r-Mmiltml^-.: . •J^B^^^~ '••••'• w^f MACMILLAN PETROLEUM CORP. "He's got a great little sense oi humor, all right" wrunAM STEIG 35c Copyright 1942 by 50W. 50thSt.,NewYork • 624So.Michigan «tUUTINg.S.«. Macmillan Petroleum Corporotion Ave., Chicago • 530 W. 6th St., Los Angeles PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED merry morn/n sergeant, "is to tell people politely that for two year all Magazines and news they can't walk around the airfield. If papers for me, also I give to my son a they don't pay any attention and go year of Collier's as Xmas gift. The year trespassing on forbidden ground, I the boy asks me if I can order some merely refer Private Jason there to American Magazines, Collier's incluted them. Private Jason is no military to him. I told him that is allright (my genius but he's got just enough sense son has no Dollars in U. S.). Again I to admire to shoot the hell out of any send order to New York for some Maga body who insists." zines, also an order to my Bank in Bal boa for $15.00 in U. S. Currency to BUT we're completely at the mercy of bee sent to above mentioned firm and the lady with the baby. She seems to found out that my dollars, even in use have most of our mail and the baby, in U. S. A. were or are frozen (I was bom now awake, has the rest. We've just in Finland). I been keeping some snatched a letter from the baby. His money in U. S. A. ficurering that if any name is Tinsley. It's not much of a thing stands after that Hitters mixup is letter but we can't be choosy under the over, the Uncle Sam is the one to stand, circumstances. It's from Mr. L. R. if he fals, well I do not think I need Simons, Extension Director of The New anjrthing after that. I mentioned my York State Colleges of Agriculture and home country, Finland, once my father Home Economics. It reads: "Dear Sir: told me a storry saying that it has been The simplest way to avoid chick losses so cold in Finland that the fire in the for the first four weeks is to buy them stove froze, also recently, I heard in with a guarantee that they will live radio news from New York that in Rus and grow for the first month." We have sia it is temperature or as he salt the read Mr. Simons' letter several times mercury is hitting 50 below zero, I am and are unable to find a flaw in it. And if wondering what kind of mercury he is we ever get time enough to go fooHng talking about, knowing that the mercury around buying chicks we will follow his I seen, frozes on 39.5 centigrades so advice. there must be lot of ways to get frozen, anyhow here in Colombia it is fairly BUT we shall have to stop because we warm and Got the information that are unable to find the rest of our mail. those $15.00 are bound for New York, so The baby has four or five letters but I still have some hope." he bawls horribly if we try to take them away. And his mother doesn't seem YOU are hereby implored to be pa able to do any more than we about it. tient. We do the imploring at second Anyway, she is a little sore at us—^the hand, the suggestion coming to us from magazine is included. She has just read Mr. Morgan Jamies of Washington, Grattan O'Leary's article—^No Bases In D. C. As we get it, the United States Eire—^wherein Mr. O'Leary makes it always has indulged in a season of completely clear that Mr. Eamon De belly-flops and pratfalls at the outbreak Valera is not anti-British, not anti- of war, regaining her equilibrium in American and not pro-Nazi. The arti due time and proceeding thereafter to cle upsets the lady's opinion that Mr. kick out the teeth of the enemy. "Cen De Valera is pro-Nazi and she's like us sorship," says Mr. Jamies, "will go along in not wanting people to tamper with as at present until the public gets good her prejudices. and mad. Already admirals and gen erals are being canceled in favor of WE HAVE another letter here from a sailors and soldiers of higher explosive Finnish gendeman in South America. content." Says he: "I am one of your reaters, been more than ten year depending on what BINGO! Just caught the brat looking kind of exchange fasilityes I happen to out of the window and snatched a letter. have or where I happen to bee. For Not so good. Strictly private corre year 1941 I understod, that I will stay spondence. A bill from a radio repair here anyway two years, so I got fixset up man.... • W. D. Copr. 1942 by Kellogg Company Refreshing as an April shower! Crunchy Rice Krispies strike a crisp, new note for springtime breakfasts! These golden bubbles of nourishing rice |fcj| "put the bee" on cranky appetites. They're lovely to look at—nestling in cool cream, decked with spicy fruit. Delightful to hear! Rice Krispies proclaim their lasting crisp- X ness with a light-hearted snap! crackle! pop! RICE k- Heavenly to taste! That palate-tickling •X Kellogg flavor is definitfely habit-forming. All thanks to Kellogg's exclusive recipe, KIII8PIES to oven-popping and gentle toasting. They |«(l MMll l —by Providence! To awaken us to a You didn't keep the letter, Mr. Bur sense of our shortcomings." ton?" "Surely," I said, "the Almighty could "I'm sorry. I didn't. You see, I choose a less unsavory weapon." thought it was just an isolated instance Miss Emily murmured that God of spite against newcomers to the place." moved in a mysterious way. The superintendent inclined his head "No," I said. "There's too much tend comprehendingly. ency to attribute to God the evils that "A pity," he said briefly. man does of his own free will. I might "However," I said, "my sister got one concede you the Devil. God doesn't yesterday. I just stopped her putting OLD TAYLOR really need to punish us. Miss Barton. it in the fire." We're so very busy punishing our "Thank you, Mr. Burton, that was selves." thoughtful of you." mti6/e/nean /b^^ It "What I can't make out is why should I went across to my desk and un anyone want to do such a thing?" locked the drawer in which I had put it. I shrugged my shoulders. "A warped It was not, I thought, very suitable for mentality." Partridge's eyes. I gave it to Nash. "It seems very sad." He read it through. Then he looked "It doesn't seem to me sad. It seems up and asked, "Is this the same in ap to me just damnable. And I don't apolo pearance as the last one?" gize for the word. I mean just that." "I think so—as far as I can remem The pink had gone out of Miss Bar ber." ton's cheeks. They were very white. Nash nodded and put it in his pocket. "But why, Mr. Burton, why? What Then he said: pleasure can anyone get out of it?" "I wonder, Mr. Burton, if you would "Nothing you and I can understand, mind coming down to the station with thank goodness." me? We could have a conference there Emily Barton lowered her voice: and it would save a good deal of time "Nothing of this kind has ever hap and overlapping." pened before—never in my memory. It "Certainly," I said. "You would like has been such a happy little community. me to come now?" What would my dear mother have said? "If you don't mind." 'HE man who first made Old Taylor Well, one must be thankful that she has There was a police car at the door. been spared." We drove down in it. fought to have bottled in bond standards I thought from all I had heard that old Mrs. Barton had been sufficiently AT THE police station I found Sym- written into federal law. tough to have taken anything, and •**• mington and Griffith were already would probably have enjoyed this sen there. I was introduced to a tall, lant sation. ern-jawed man in plain clothes. Inspec And no other kind of whiskey Emily went on, "It distresses me tor Graves. deeply." "Inspector Graves," explained Nash, has ever been made in "You've not—er—had anything your "has come down from London to help self?" us. He's an expert on anonymous let the Old Taylor distillery. She flushed crimson. "Oh, no—oh, no, ter cases." indeed. Oh! that would be dreadful." Inspector Graves, however, showed a I apologized hastily, but she went kind of melancholy enthusiasm. It produces a costlier whiskey. away looking rather upset. "They're all the same, these cases," I went into the house. Joanna was he said in a deep lugubrious voice like But we believe it is worth standing by the drawing-room fire which a depressed bloodhound. "You'd be she had just lit, for the evenings were surprised. The wording of the letters it. And millions of still chilly. She had an open letter in and the things they say." her hand. "We had a case just on two years men who know She turned her head quickly as I en ago," said Nash. "Inspector Graves tered. helped us then." fine bourbon "Jerry! I found this in the letter box Some of the letters. I saw, were spread —dropped in by hand. It begins: 'You out on the table in front of Graves. He heartily agree. painted trollop . . .' " had evidently been examining them. "What else does it say?" "Difficulty is," said Nash, "to get hold Joanna gave a wide grimace. "Same of the letters. Either people put them old muck." in the fire, or they won't admit to hav She dropped it onto the fire. With ing received anything of the kind. Stu a quick gesture that hurt my back I pid, you see, and afraid of being mixed jerked it off again just before it caught. up with the police. They're a backward "Don't," I said. "We may need it." lot here." "Need it?" "Still we've got a fair amount to get "For the police." on with," said Graves. Nash took the letter I had given him from his pocket UPERINTENDENT NASH came to and tossed it over to Graves. S see me the following morning. From The latter glanced through it, laid it the first moment I saw him I took a with the others and observed approv great liking to him. He was the best ingly, "Very nice—very nice indeed." type of C.I.D. County Superintendent. It was not the way I should have Tall, soldierly, with quiet, reflective eyes chosen to describe the epistle in ques and a straightforward, unassuming tion, but experts, I suppose, have their manner. own point of view. I was glad that that Within the ivy-coverad "Good morning, Mr. Burton," he said. screed of vituperative and obscene wails of tliit distillery "I expect you can guess what I've come abuse gave somebody pleasure. to see you about." "We've got enough, I think, to go on no whiskay othtr than "Yes, I think so. This letter busi with," said Inspector Graves, "and I'll Old Taylor has ovor ness." ask all you gentlemen, if you should boon mado. He nodded. get any more, to bring them along at "I understand you had one of them?" once. Also, if you hear of someone else "Yes, soon after we got here." getting one—you, in particular. Doctor, "What did it say exactly?" among your patients—do your best to I thought a minute, then conscien get them to come along here with them. tiously repeated the wording of the let I've got"—he sorted with deft fingers ter as closely as possible. among his exhibits—"one to Mr. Sym- The superintendent listened with an mington, received as far back as two immobile face, showing no signs of any months ago, one to Dr. Griffith, one to kind of emotion. Miss Ginch, one written to Mrs. Mudge, Copyright 1942, National Distillers Products Corporation, New York When I had finished, he said, "I see. the butcher's wife, one to Jennifer Clark, PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED 44 Collier's for April 11, 1942 barmaid at the Three Crowns, the one desire to protect my wife's memory, I "If anyone j batty in this place, you .voo^^^. received by Mrs. Symmington, this should like to repeat now that I am ought to know it," I said accusingly. i\WO^Q^ one now to Miss Burton—oh, yes, and firmly convinced that the subject mat Griffith shook his head. He looked one to the bank manager.'" ter of the letter my wife received was discouraged. But he looked more than Symmington asked, "Have you come absolutely false. I know it was false. that—he looked worried. I wondered if to any definite opinion as to the writer?" My wife was a very sensitive woman, he had an inkling of some kind. Graves cleared his throat and de and—er—well, you might call it prud We had been walking along the High livered a small lecture: ish in some respects. Such a letter Street. I stopped at the door of the "There are certain similarities shared would have been a great shock to her, house agents. ON^^^^f by all these letters. I shall enumerate and she was in poor health." "I believe my second installment of ^Q^COM them, gentlemen, in case they suggest Graves responded instantly: rent is due—in advance. I've got a good anything to your minds. The text of the "That's quite likely to be right, sir. mind to pay it and clear out with Joanna letters is composed of words made up None of these letters show any signs of right away. Forfeit the rest of the ten from individual letters cut out of a intimate knowledge. They're just blind ancy." printed book. It's an old book, printed, accusations. There's been no attempt "Don't go," said Owen. to blackmail. And there doesn't seem I should say, about the year 1830. This "Why not?" has obviously been done to avoid the to be any religious bias—such as we sometimes get. It's just sex and spite! He didn't answer. He said slowly af risk of recognition through handwrit ter a minute or two, "After all—I dare ing which is, as most people know And that's going to give us quite a good pointer toward the writer." say you're right. Lymstock isn't healthj nowadays, a fairly easy matter ... the so- just now. It might—it might harm you called disguising of a hand not amount or—or your sister." ing to much when faced with expert C YMMINGTON got up. Dry and un- "Nothing harms Joanna," I said. tests. There are no fingerprints on the •*^ emotional as the man was, his lips "She's tough. I'm the weakly one. letters and envelopes of a distinctive were trembling. Somehow this business makes me sick.' character. That is to say, they have "I hope you find the devil who writes "It makes me sick." said Owen. been handled by the postal authorities, these soon. She murdered my wife as I pushed the door of the house agents' the recipient, and there are other stray surely as if she'd put a knife into her." place half open. fingerprints, but no set common to all, He paused. "How does she feel now, "But I shan't go," I said. "Vulgai showing therefore that the person who I wonder?" curiosity is stronger than pusillanimity put them together was careful to wear He went out, leaving that question I want to know the solution." gloves. unanswered. I went in. Virgin wgol is "The envelopes are typewritten by a "How does she feel, Griffith?" I asked. A woman who was typing got up and gently cleansed in naphtha to Windsor 7 machine, well worn, with the It seemed to me the answer was in his came toward me. She had frizzy hair preserve wool fiber strength. a and the t out of alignment. Most of province. and simpered, but I found her more in them have been posted locally, or put "God knows. Remorseful, perhaps. telligent than the spectacled youth who Shariko Topcoat is weather- in the box of a house by hand. It is On the other hand, it may be that she's had previously held sway in the outer proofed by Cravenette process. therefore evident that they are of local enjoying her power. Mrs. Symmington's office. provenance. They were written by a death may have fed her mania." For sale by leading stores in woman, and in my opinion a woman of "I hope not," I said, with a slight A MINUTE or two later something fa- cluding Kennedy's, Boston; middle age or over, and probably, shiver. "Because if so, she'll—" •**• miliar about her penetrated through Kleinhans', Buffalo; Horsfall's, though not certainly, unmarried." I hesitated and Nash finished the sen to my consciousness. It was Miss Ginch, Hartford; Kaufmann's, Pitts We maintained a respectful silence tence for me: lately Symmington's lady clerk. burgh; Jacob Reed's Sons, for a minute or two. Then I said, "The "She'll try it again? That, Mr. Bur I commented on the fact. Philadelphia; Broadstreet'«, typewriter's your best bet, isn't it? Can't ton, would be the best thing that could "You used to be with Galbraith, Gal- New York and Chicago. you tell something definite from the— happen, for us. The pitcher goes to the braith and Symmington, weren't you?" er—the touch, don't you call it?" well once too often, remember." I said. ARLINGtOH MILLS, Lawrence, Mass. Graves nodded. "Yes, that can be done I shook my head with a shudder. I "Yes. Yes, indeed. But I thought it —^but these envelopes have all been asked if they needed me any longer, was better to leave. This is quite a good typed by someone using one finger." I wanted to get out into the air. The post, though not quite so well paid. But "Someone, then, unused to the type atmosphere seemed tinged with evil. there are things that are more valuable writer?" "There's nothing more, Mr. Burton," than money, don't you think so?" YOU MAY ALWAYS "No, I wouldn't say that. Someone, said Nash. "Only keep your eyes open, "Undoubtedly," I said. perhaps, who can type but doesn't want and do as much propaganda as you can "Those awful letters," breathed Miss BE CONSTIPATED us to know the fact." —that is to say, urge on everyone that Ginch in a sibilant whisper. "I got a "Whoever writes these things has they've got to report any letter they re dreadful one. About me and Mr. Sym been very cunning," I said slowly. ceive." mington—oh, terrible it was, saying the UNLESS- "She is, sir, she is," said Graves. "Up I nodded. most awful things! I knew my duty and You correct faulty living habits—unless liver to every trick of the trade." "I should think everyone in the place I took it to the police, though of course bile flows freely every day into your intestines to "I shouldn't have thought one of these has had one of the foul things by now," it wasn't exactly pleasant for me, was help digest fatty foods and guard against con bucolic women down here would have I said. it?" stipation. SO USE COMMON SENSE! Drink more water, eat more fruit and vegetables. And had the brains," I said. "I wonder," said Graves. He put his "No, no, most unpleasant." if assistance is needed, take Dr. Edwards' Olive Graves coughed. "I haven't made sad head a little on one side and asked, "But they thanked me and said I had Tablets. They not only assure gentle yet thor myself plain, I'm afraid. Those letters "You don't know, definitely, of anyone done quite right. But I felt that, after ough bowel movements but ALSO stir up liver were written by an educated woman." who hasn't had a letter?" that, if people were talking—and evi bile secretion to help digest fatty foods. Olive Tablets, being purely vegetable, are "What, by a lady?" "What an extraordinary question! dently they mus^ have been, or where wonderful! Used successfully for over 20 years The word slipped out involuntarily. The population at large isn't likely to did the writer get the idea from?—then by Dr. F. M. Edwards in treating patients for I hadn't used the term "lady" for years. take me into their confidence." I must avoid even the appearance of constipation and sluggish liver bile, today Olive But now it came automatically to my "No, no, Mr. Burton, I didn't mean evil, though there has never been any Tablets are justly FIRST choice of thousands lips, re-echoed from days long ago, and that. I just wondered if you knew of any thing at all wrong between me and Mr. of grateful users. Test their goodness TO Symmington." NIGHT! 15!S, 30(i, m. All druggists. my grandmother's faint, unconsciously one person who quite definitely, to your arrogant voice saying, "Of course, she certain knowledge, has not received an I felt rather embarrassed. anonymous letter." "No, no, of course not." SCREW- New isn't a lady, dear." FLUORESCENT Nash understood at once. The word "Well, as a matter of fact," I hesi "But people have such evil minds. IN PLUG Screws Info Socket Like Ordinary Bulb lady still meant something to him. tated, "I do, in a way." Yes, alas, such evil minds!" pRlC£S as tow BB S4.95 in- * cludintrTube—N PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED Collier's for April 11, 1942 45 someone being driven to the stage of "Have you any idea at all, Mrs. Cal the writer of the letters was much more taking her own life." throp, who this woman is?" serious. There could now be no ques "Oh, you mean Mrs. Symmington?" She turned her fine perplexed eyes tion of passing it off as a joke if the "Didn't you?" on me. "Well, I can guess," she said. identity of the writer was discovered. Mrs. Dane Calthrop shook her head. "But then I might be wrong, mightn't The police were active, a Scotland Yard "Of course one is sorry for her, but it I?" expert was called in. It was vital now would have been bound to happen any She went swiftly out through the door, for the anonymous author to remain way, wouldn't it?" popping her head back to ask: "Do tell anonymous. "Would it?" said Joanna dryly. me, why have you never married, Mr. And granted that Fear was the prin Mrs. Dane Calthrop turned to her. Burton?" cipal reaction, other things followed. "Oh, I think so, dear. If suicide is In anyone else it would have been Those possibilities also I was blind to. your idea of escape from trouble then impertinence, but with Mrs. Dane Cal Yet surely they should have been ob it doesn't very much matter what the throp you felt that the idea had sud vious. trouble is. Whenever some very un denly come into her head and she had pleasant shock had to be faced, she'd really wanted to know. OANNA and I came down rather late have done the same thing. What it "Shall we say," I said, rallying, "that J to breakfast the next morning. That really comes down to is that she was I have never met the right woman?" is to say, late by the standards of Lym- that kind of woman. Not that one "We can say so," said Mrs. Dane Cal stock. It was nine-thirty, an hour at would have guessed it. She always throp, "but it wouldn't be a very good which, in London, Joanna was just un seemed to me a selfish rather stupid answer, because so many men have ob closing an eyelid, and mine would prob woman, with a good firm hold on life. viously married the wrong woman." ably be still tight shut. Not the kind to panic, you would think This time she really departed. However when Partridge had said, —but I'm beginning to realize how little Joanna said, "You know, I really do "Breakfast at half past eight, or nine I really know about anyone." think she's mad. But I like her. The o'clock?" neither Joanna nor I had had "I'm still curious as to whom you people in the village here are afraid of the nerve to suggest a later hour. meant when you said 'Poor thing,' " I her." To my annoyance, Aimee Griffith remarked. "So am I, a little." was standing on the doorstep talking to She stared at me. "The woman who "Because you never know what's Megan. wrote the letters, of course." coming next?" She gave tongue with her usual heart "I don't think," I said dryly, "I shall "Yes. And there's a careless bril iness at the sight of us: waste sympathy on her." liance about her guesses." "Hullo, there, slackers! I've been up Mrs. Dane Calthrop leaned forward. Joanna said slowly, "Do you really for hours." She laid a hand on my knee. think whoever wrote these letters is That, of course, was her own business. "But don't you realize—can't you very unhappy?" A doctor, no doubt, has to have early leel? Use your imagination. Think how "I don't know what the darned hag is breakfast, and a dutiful sister is there desperately, violently unhappy anyone thinking or feeling! And I don't care. to pour out his tea or coffee. But it is must be to sit down and write these It's her victims I'm sorry for." no excuse for coming and butting in on things. How lonely, how cut oif from one's more somnolent neighbors. Nine- human kind. Poisoned through and T SEEMS odd to me now that in our thirty is not the time for a morning call. through, with a dark stream of poison I speculations about Poison Pen's frame Megan slipped back into the house that finds its outlet in this way. That's of mind, we missed the most obvious and into the dining room, where I gath why I feel so self-reproachful. Some one. Griffith had pictured her as ijos- ered she had been interrupted in her body in this town has been racked with sibly exultant. I had envisaged her as breakfast. that terrible unhappiness, and I've had remorseful—appalled by the result of "I said I wouldn't come in," said no idea of it. I should have had. You her handiwork. Mrs. Dane Calthrop had Aimee Griffith—though why it is more can't interfere with actions—I never do. seen her as suffering. of a merit to force people to come and But that black inward unhappiness— Yet the obvious, the inevitable reac speak to you on the doorstep, than to like a septic arm physically, all black tion we did not consider—or perhaps I talk to them inside the house I do not and swollen. If you could cut it and let should say, I did not consider. That re know. "Just wanted to ask Miss Burton the poison out, it would flow away harm action was Fear. if she'd any vegetables to spare for our lessly. Yes, poor soul, poor soul." For with the death of Mrs. Symming Red Cross stall on the main road. If so, She got up to go. ton, the letters had passed out of one I'd get Owen to call for them in the car." I did not feel like agreeing with her. category into another. I don't know "You're out and about very early," I had no sympathy for our anonymous what the legal position was—Symming I said. letter writer whatsoever. But I did ask ton knew, I suppose, but it was clear that "The early bird catches the worm," curiously: with a death resulting, the position of said Aimee. "You have a better chance When your wife weeps, the car of finding people in this time of day. squeaks, or a pipe leaks, look to I'm off to Mr. Pye's next. Got to go over to Brenton this afternoon. Guides." the Classified to patch things up. "Your energy makes me quite tired," It's the book of 10,001 answers! I said, and at that moment the tele phone rang and I retired to the back of In the Classified section of your the hall to answer it, leaving Joanna Telephone Directory you will find murmuring rather doubtfully some thing about rhubarb and French beans local concerns and tradespeople and exposing her ignorance of the vege table garden. together with the products and "Yes?" I said into the telephone services they sell. Read the an mouthpiece. nouncements about their business A CONFUSED noise of deep breath- before you call anyone. •**• ing came from the other end of the wire and a doubtful female voice said, Thus you get a good idea of the "Oh!" firms that are best equipped to "Yes?" I said again encouragingly. "Oh," said the voice again, and then solve your particular problems. it inquired adenoidally, "Is that—what Thumb thru the Classified and I mean—is that Little Furze?" "This is Little Furze." see for yourself. "Oh!" This clearly a stock beginning to every sentence. The voice inquired cautiously: "Could I speak to Miss Partridge just a minute?" Your buying guide "Certainly," I said. "Who shall I say?" "Oh. Tell her it's Agnes, would you? - the Classified A Agnes Waddle." "Agnes Waddle?" "That's right." Resisting the temptation to say "Don ald Duck to you," I put down the tele X phone receiver and called up the stairs •^ to where I could hear the sound of Partridge's activities overhead. "Partridge! Partridge!" "I understand you're with the circus" CHARLES S. ADDAMS Partridge appeared at the head of the stairs, a long mop in one hand, and a PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED 46 Collier's for April 11, 1942 look of "What is it now?" clearly dis advise her, she's been in the habit of for ignorance of the vegetable kingdom. cernible behind her invariably respect coming to me. I can tell her what's Snubbed by Partridge for being a hu ful manner. what, you see." man being. I shall now go out into the Vofft TiRSECUTEa "Yes, sir?" "Yes?" said Joanna and waited. garden and eat worms." "Agnes Waddle wants to speak to you Clearly there was more to follow. "Megan's there already," I said. on the telephone." "So I am taking the liberty of ask For Megan had wandered away a few "I beg your pardon, sir?" ing you, Miss, if you would allow Agnes minutes previously aiid was now stand SORE I raised my voice: "Agnes Waddle." to come here to tea this afternoon in ing aimlessly in the middle of a patch I have spelled the name as it pre the kitchen. It's her day out, you see, of lawn looking not unlike a meditative sented itself to my mind. But I will now and she's got something on her mind bird waiting for nourishment. THWAT spell it as it was actually written: she wants to consult me about. I She came back however toward us "Agnes Woddell—whatever can she wouldn't dream of suggesting such a and said abruptly, "I say, I must go want now?" thing in the usual way." home today." o Very much put out of countenance Joanna said bewildered, "But why "What?" I was dismayed. Partridge relinquished her mop and shouldn't you have anyone to tea with She went on, flushing, but speaking rustled down the stairs, her print dress you?" with nervous determination: crackling with agitation. Partridge drew herself up at this, so "It's been awfully good of you hav I beat an unobtrusive retreat into the Joanna said afterward, and really looked ing me and I expect I've been a fearful 6LYC0 dining room where Megan was wolfing most formidable, as she replied: nuisance, but I have enjoyed it aw THYMOUNE down kidneys and bacon. Megan, un "It has never been the custom of this fully, only now I must go back, because like Aimee Griffith, was displaying no house. Miss. Old Mrs. Barton never al after all, well, it's my home and one "glorious morning face." In fact she lowed visitors in the kitchen, excepting can't stay away forever, so I think I'll replied very gruffly to my morning sal as it should be our own day out, in go this morning." utations and continued to eat in silence. which case we were allowed to enter UrSi E genffe but effecfive Glyco- I opened the morning paper and a tain friends here instead of going out, •pOTH Joanna and I tried to make her Thymoline. Help fo heal and help minute or two later Joanna entered but otherwise, on ordinary days, no. •'-' change her mind, but she was quite fo soothe Irritated membranes that looking somewhat shattered. And Miss Emily keeps to the old ways." adamant, and finally Joanna got out the so often accompany ordinary sore "Whew!" she said. "I'm so tired. And Joanna is very nice to servants and car and Megan went upstairs and came throats and common I think I've exposed my utter ignorance most of them like her but she has never down a few minutes later with her be colds. In use for 50 of what grows when. Aren't there run cut any ice with Partridge. longings packed up again. years . . . recom ner beans this time of year?" "It's no good, my girl," I said when The only person pleased seemed to mended and used "August," said Megan. Partridge had gone and Joanna had be Partridge, who had almost a smile by many physicians. "Well, one has them any time in Lon joined me outside. "Your sympathy on her grim face. She had never liked don," said Joanna defensively. and leniency are not appreciated. The Megan much. "Tins, sweet fool," I said. "And cold good old overbearing ways for Par I was standing in the middle of the storage on ships from the far-flung lim tridge and things done the way they lawn when Joanna returned. its of Empire." should be done in a gentleman's house." She asked me if I thought I was a "Like ivory, apes and peacocks?" "I never heard of such tyranny as not sundial. wr€0 asked Joanna. allowing them to have their friends to "Why?" "Exactly." see them," said Joanna. "It's all very "Standing there like a garden orna THYMOUNS "I'd rather have peacocks," said Jo well, Jerry, but they can't like being ment. Only one couldn't put on you anna thoughtfully. treated like black slaves." the motto of only marking the sunny "I'd like a monkey of my own as a "Evidently they do," I said. "At least hours. You looked like thunder!" CORNS pet," said Megan. the Partridges of this world do." "I'm out of humor. First Aimee Grif Meditatively peeling an orange, Jo "I can't imagine why she doesn't like fith—and then Megan beetling off. I'd anna said: me. Most people do." thought of taking her for a walk up to GO FAST "I wonder what it would feel like to "She probably despises you as an in Legge Tor." "With a collar and lead, I suppose," Pain Sent Flying! be Aimee Griffith, all bursting with adequate housekeeper. You never Dr. SchoU's Zino-pads_ in health and vigor and enjoyment of life. draw your hand across a shelf and ex said Joanna. stantly stop tormenting Do you think she's ever tired, or de amine it for traces of dust. You don't "What?" shoe friction; lift aching pressure; ^ive you fast re pressed, or—or wistful?" look under the mats. You don't ask Joanna repeated loudly and clearly lief. Ease tight shoes; pre what happened to the remains of the as she moved off around the corner of vent corns and sore toes. '/' Separate Medications in SAID I was quite certain Aimee Grif chocolate souffle, and you never order the house to the kitchen garden: cluded for quickly remov fith was never wistful, and followed a nice bread pudding." "I said 'With a collar and lead, I ing corns. Cost but a trifle. | I Megan out of the open French window "Ugh!" said Joanna. suppose?' Master's lost his dog, that's onto the veranda. She went on sadly: "I'm a failure all what's the matter with you!" Standing there, filling my pipe, I around today. Despised by our Aimee (Jl'o be continued next week) heard Partridge enter the dining room STUDY AT HOME Win greater respect and aaccesB. from the hall and heard her voice say Learn more, earn more. We eaide yoa step by step—famish all text grimly, "Can I speak to you a minute, material, includingfourteen-volume Law Library. Degree of LL. B. con Miss?" ferred. Low cost, easy terms. Get oar valuable 48-page "Law Training "Dear me," I thought. "I hope Par M/IM^Leadership " and "Evidence" them NOW. tridge isn't going to give notice. Emily ^^•V^P ^^^P " ^ our ' ^•__A LaSalle Extensiofoin- University, Oept. 440-L, Chicago Barton would be very annoyed with us ^^^••^v books free.A Sen Correspondencd for e Institution if so." ^^^^^^^^^^ I oe_llA rwft_MEin«lli Partridge went on: IF YOU'RE IN THIS FIX.. "I must apologize, Miss, for being rung up on the telephone. That is to say, the young person who did so should have known better. I have never been in the habit of using the telephone or of permitting my friends to ring me up on it, and I'm very sorry indeed that it should have occurred, and the master taking the call and everything." "Why, that's quite all right, Par tridge," said Joanna soothingly, "why shouldn't your friends use the phone if they want to speak to you?" Partridge's face, I could feel, though I could not see it, was more dour than P.W. WILL ever as she replied coldly: "It is not the kind of thing that has ever been done in this house. Miss Emily would never permit it. As I say, I F I X IT am sorry it occurred, but Agnes Wod dell, the girl who did it, was upset and LOOSE BATHROOM FIXTURES, such as towel racks or soap dishes, can be quickly and she's young too, and doesn't know what's easily reset in plaster, wood or tile, with fitting in a gentleman's house." PLASTIC WOOD. Get it in cans or tubes today at Paint, Hardware and 10< Stores. "That's one for you, Joanna," I thought gleefully. "This Agnes who rung me up. Miss," went on Partridge, "she used to be in service here under me. Sixteen she was, then, and come straight from the or "My wife's bills! No more dresses, no more phanage. And you see, not having a hats—just uniforms, uniforms, uniforms!" GREGORY D'ALESSlO, HANDLIS LIKE PUTTY — HARDENS LIKE WOOD home, or a mother or any relations to PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED Collier's for April 11, 1942 47 NCLE SAM gets the green light on the railroads great war program rolling. U today. We're sure you'd want it that way —for Whether the job calls for passenger equipment or America has a war to light all over the world, and a freight—whether it's one of moving troops by the hun job at home to produce and deliver in overwhelming dreds of thousands, moving raw materials or finished volume the things fighting men need. These fighting machines — every railroad man knows come first among the million tons of freight that the first rule today is, "Right of Way for moved a mile on the rails every minute. ^«^ the U.S.A." The railroads are united in working with ASSOCIATION OF each other — with industry and farmers — with the government — to keep America's AMERICAN RAILROADS WASHINGTON, D. C. PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED 48 Collier's for April 11, 1942 Our Fighting Men Continued from page 18 ball, stone or stick hurled by a soldier ing a search for the file). "Have you any pal. Fact is, Rags didn't seem to get the remarks?" (can you give me an idea Your trials and tribulations have drift entirely until, during grenade prac broken my heart. They are unique. what this is all about?). "Snowed un tice, he raced out and came trotting back I have never beard of anything like der" (able to take only an hour and a with a mouthful of very bad news. The them before. As proof of my deepest half for lunch). "This will be borne in unit scattered and prayed and their sympathy, I give you this card which mind" (no further action will be taken prayers were answered. Nothing hap entitles you to one hour of condol until you remind me). "You will re pened to the grenade in the pooch's ence from the closest chaplain. member" (you have forgotten, if in puss. "However, men," continued the deed you ever knew). "In due course" instructor, who still hadn't uncrossed his (never). "All orders issued by my fingers, "the fact that one grenade turns predecessor are to remain in force" (I out to be a dud is no excuse for taking Don't be startled by the black haven't read them yet, but shall take the the slightest chances with them." border. At Army posts in many first opportunity of altering them). "As sections of the country, cards you know" (as you didn't know).... AMP SAN LUIS OBISPO, Calif. A similar to this one from Ran C recent War Department release be dolph Field, Texas, are handed VrOW that Saturday is no longer a gan: "The Secretary of War announces by noncoms to enlisted men who •••^ half holiday at military and naval posts the graph on week-end romances the formation of the 1st Filipino Infantry come to them with complaints Battalion, with station at Camp San shows a decided decline, with corre Luis Obispo. This new unit is formed spondingly brisker business at post ex in recognition of the intense loyalty and changes, service clubs, movies and USO patriotism of those Filipinos now resid ticed the name U. S. Bond at the bottom camp shows. Ever since the Japs at ing in the United States ..." of a small identification picture and tacked on a Sunday, Uncle Sam is taking Officers at headquarters watched tele wrote a story about it. The Treasury no chances. It's a six-day week, and a types and the mail for crfficial orders. Department read the story. This brings sharp lookout on the seventh. Three weeks later they still awaited you up to date on Cadet Bond, who is further word. Meantime, Filipinos from maturing rapidly. ITH no extra dough for overtime, all over California phoned, wrote and Weither. G. W. wired for information. Sport coupes RLINGTON CANTONMENT, Va. loaded with from two to eight nattily A They've opened a new school here COLLIER'S SHUT-MOUTH dressed Filipinos rolled into camp. QMC for training both officers and men in POSTER AWARDS supply sergeants took one look at the M.P. Service, and from it will come the diminutive occupants and began scratch personnel for nearly 100 new battalions E INVITE the officers and men of ing special requisitions for size 3^ of military cops. The newly completed Wthe Army, Navy, Marine Corps and shoes and pint-size uniforms. "We want manual for the eight-to-ten-weeks Coast Guard to design and submit for to fight with General MacArthur," the course hasn't been made public, but it competition posters which seriously or volunteers announced. Officers like the would seem that the new M.P. has to humorously symbolize the importance eager glint in the California Filipinos' undergo all the training an infantryman of spiking rumors. This week's Collier's eyes, and the feverishly grim manner does, with a little more thrown in. Be cover is the type of idea which will be in which they train. Once red tape is sides learning all about field and battle considered. One hundred dollars will unwound and the 1st Filipino Battalion tactics and the handling of all types of be paid for each poster, not exceeding really gets going, this camp will have the weapons your M.P. has to know traffic five, adjudged suitable for reproduction fastest featherweight outfit in the Army. control; guarding, escorting and ques in this department. "We'll call it the Runt Battalion," said tioning of prisoners and enemy aliens; Here are the contest rules, as origi a cook. "Maybe you will," retorted a must have knowledge of criminal inves nally announced in Collier's for March corporal. "Just once." tigation and military intelligence work; 21st: and must be able to plan and carry 1. The Shut-Mouth Poster Contest is UKE FIELD, Arizona. Speaking of out protection of vital defense plants now open to officers and enlisted men in L little guys, they're training Chinese against sabotage. Moreover, he has to active service in the Army, Navy, Ma 1^ RADIATOR aviation cadets at this West Coast Train learn to handle the civilian populace rine Corps and Coast Guard. ing Center school, and the boys are mak with tact and success in the event of 2. Posters may be drawn in any me CLEANER ing quite a record for themselves in riots, strikes, fires, floods and other dium on any kind of drawing paper, but anticipation of getting wings and return clambakes. must be neither more than 18" by 20" Clean out your radiator ing to their native land for a chance . It's a big job, because you can't push nor less than 8" by 10" in over-all si?e. at the Axis. A Hollywood newsreel gang civilians around the way you can an Unfinished or "rough" sketches will not as soon as the anti-freeze comes out trekked over to get some shots of the enemy. Civilian bloodshed at the hands be considered. All entries must be pre Chinese in training, and had worked out of soldiers is about the worst thing that sented in complete, finished form, either After winter driving beware of barriers of oU- a sequence showing the men getting could happen to an M.P. in black and white or color. The name, muck, rust and scale in the tiny water passages. last-minute dope from an instructor, As fast as the officers and men are service unit, and address of the con Qogged radiators cause overheating and serious turning and trotting to their ships, kick trained they'll become the nuclei for testant must be on the back of each motor damage may result As soon as you drain ing the motors over and taxiing off. It new battalions. Just to make sure ev drawing. Addresses will be held confi your anti-freeze, ckan out your radiator with would have made an interesting shot, but erything's running all right, two officers dential and will not be published. Warner Radiator Cleaner... it's a THpROUGH as the camera whirred and the Chinese from existing outfits go along, one act 3. $100 will be paid for each winning cleaner and ABSOLUTELY SAFE for all turned to go to their planes, the lens got ing as executive officer, the other as poster, which will become and remain the property of The Crowell-Collier cooling system metals. nothing but a bunch of bobbing bed adjutant. After three or four months with the new organization they give up Publishing Company. Then as an added protection for your motor pillows strapped to the posteriors of the tiny Orientals. Director of Flight Train their places to new officers and move on 4. A contestant may submit as many during hot summer driving, stop rust and ing Lt. Charlie Lancaster explained: to the next embryo outfit. posters as he wishes, but entries which corrosion in your radiator and cooling system "Some of those boys are so short we had Keep your eyes peeled for the gents win no awards will not be returned un with Warner Cooling System Protector. to ask the Quartermaster department with the white trimmings on their uni less the entries are accompanied by let Today you MUST repair and take care of for pillows so they could reach the ped forms; and when they tell yOu to do ters setting forth the method of return your car. Keep your cooling system clean and als." something, do it. shipment desired, and sufficient funds in protected for better performance and longer life. postage stamps or money order to cover GENERAL the transportation cost. If your radiator becomes "leaky," repair ANDOLPH FIELD, Texas. You might as well get acquainted with 5. Judgment will be based on the it with economical Warner, Liquid Solder. It R Cadet U. S. Bond, whose picture is CTUAL warfare doesn't dim the originality and effectiveness of the idea repairs leaks quickly... safely...permanently plugging the sale of War Stamps and A Army's sense of humor. From an and on the artistic merit of the poster. —in the radiator, or even in a Bonds. His full name is Urban Selar unidentified source comes A Glossary of When similar ideas appear in several cracked motor block. Bond but his patriotic initials were lost Staff Phraseology which deserves more entries, the poster which most closely in the shuffle in home-town Wentworth, than passing notice. There's a good deal approximates Collier's standard of art S, D. (pop. 300), where he went by his of it, but these excerpts will give you will be selected. Keep your cooling system in middle name and answered to Zeke at an idea: 6. Entries must be mailed to the condition. Go twice a year to high school. Joining the National Guard "With reference to—" (whether it has Poster Contest, Collier's Weekly, 250 your favorite service station, in 1936, his name went down in the ros or not, this letter must begin somehow). Park Avenue, New York, N. Y,, and will be received until 5:00 P. M. on April 24, accessory store or garage for ter as Urban S. Bond, but the initials "Submitted for information" (this still didn't mean anything to anybody means nothing to me but it may to you). 1942, when the contest will close. No Warner "prescribed" Service. until Bond, after serving through the "I approach the subject with an open acknowledgment can be made of entries. Louisiana maneuvers last summer, mind" (completely ignorant of the 7. The Editorial Staff of Collier's will chucked his sergeant's stripes in favor whole subject). "Under consideration" be the judges, and their decision in all WARNER-PATTERSON COMPANY of a cadet's uniform. A public relations (papers temporarily mislaid). "Under matters affecting the contest and the making of awards will be final. 919 So. Michigan Ave., Chicago, 111. photographer at Randolph finally no- active consideration" (propose institut PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED Collier's for April 11, 1942 49 Panama Jungleers Continued from page 15 a gang of black men to help him lug the panther cub nuzzling at the breast of tracks and hew the ties. There's not a its deceased mother. He toted it to straight-away yard of track in the whole camp, where, fed on condensed milk and nine miles, the tracks having been laid scraps, it presently developed into a in haste by eye and guess. They say junior menace. Rather than throw it that when he came upon a snake, he back into the jungle, they decided to built around it. No such nonsense as put a collar on it and chain it up when the engineer's transit or level influ it became too rough. Several attempts enced it. Couldn't be bothered, says failed and Izzy got his idea—chloro Enoch John who, with his black boys, form the creature, collar it and appeal chopped through the steaming black to its pride. After a considerable strug ness with ax and machete as they went gle in which the beast lost some fur and along. They bridged the jungle streams, several antiaircraft artillerymen shed half of them building while the rest considerable skin, they choloroformed danced around frightening off the alli it, collared it and stepped back to see gators and snakes below and the beasts what would happen when it came to. above. They waited for six hours. The funeral "Monkeys and parrots? Aaaaaaaw was strictly regulation plus a stretch of shooooo. Them apes swung along with Dorothy Lamour music on the harmon us howlin' like a tetched preacher sorta ica by Private Gishmick who, of the cheerin' us on like folks do at the ball harmonica, said that he had collared game and at the same time scarin' back that, too—from Larry Adler. the cats. Look yere." We thought that we were seeing And Enoch John will yank his shirt off jungle from Enoch John Hooper's flat his mighty back and show you the deep car. But it wasn't until we reached the grooves of a black panther's claws, from end of the tracks and began to climb up his shoulders to his waist. a trail two feet wide that we began to "Right oncheerful that was," sighs understand what the Darien forest was Enoch John. "Big Colombian boy like, what these kid artillerymen from named Mossui carried me out. Carried New York, Boston, Chicago, San Fran out the cat, too. Mighty handsome cat cisco and other American soft spots had it was but Mossui ruint the hide." licked. After that nine-mile jolt that Enoch Jungle Philosopher John and his black boys had slashed through, back in the days when Hooper's In all the nine miles we crept on 5,600 acres grew cargoes of bananas Enoch John's fiatcar (he made that, and Hooper was rich, we took to the too, with his own hands just as he had black trail on foot. We might have the engine with an old Ford motor made a couple more miles on the flat- geared in some mysterious way to four car but, suddenly coming out of a be- crazy wheels beneath a plank raft), on gloomed tunnel of sweating palm lashed all the nine niiles we left the tracks only over with a rainproof roof, and made twice. tight by vines that seemed as much alive "Reckon the ole dee-lerium tremens as the snakes, we slammed" into the high special's gittin' tard," explained Enoch dirt embankment of a road that the John Hooper. "Reckon she's gittin' Army engineers were building through mee-lancholy like me, her daddy. Used the jungle. It was all news to Enoch to leap the tracks right often, makin' as John, owner of the railroad. He dis high as maybe six, seven miles an hour, mounted, waved a huge hairy hand full load of bananas and maybe some toward the new road and almost wept. sour sops, oranges and breadfruit for the hell of it. Hold on, 'mister." Mr. John Won't Sue the U. S.^ Enoch John threw the engine out of A successful, basic dog food for 14 years—not gear, jammed on the brakes and yelled "This is shore a surprise," mourned a hastily formulated something—part Alabama, part Span he. "I kin carry you no further. Last "wartime " substitute. ish, part Choco—to his water boy, the week I could have toted you right down skinniest sliver of boy we've ever seen. to the mountain but the on-predictable As the banana special quivered to a United States Army has throwed up a just add water to stop, teetering first on one rail and then road right across my tracks buryin' the the other but keeping to them, Enoch same from sight. It will cost you ten READY—a meal that's brimming with John and the water boy leaped. Enoch dollars for as fur as you've come, and just what dogs like! One that fulfills every GAINES John had his gun and the boy had the the couple miles more that the United machete. There were three shots and States Army has conquested wouldn't known nutritional need of any normal dog. Tell your dealer you want GAINES. the boy slashed at a low vine trellis. In have cost you nothin' extra. All out fer Yes, Gaines is the kind of food that The same Gaines that was the. choice of two sections a six-foot snake fell into the end of the jungle as fur as Hooper's the underbrush. We hadn't seen it. will help keep dogs the sound compan the U. S. Antarctic Expedition and now concerned. Jungle, hell! There ain't ions they can be in these critical times. is used by the U. S. Army. "Bushmaster," said Enoch John, nothin' sacred no more." starting the engine again. "Mean. Lay We began to climb, leaving Enoch And can conserve human foodstuffs It's mighty economical to feed. Sold out on a branch on a level with your John explaining to an engineer colonel by taking the place of table foods. in 2-lb., 5-lb., lo-lb. paper bags under a head. Right smart. But I don't know. that as a freeborn American from the guarantee of complete satisfaction or Don't see many no more. Gittin' tard great state of Alabama he had the con your money back. like me and the ole banana flier. Sort stitutional right to sue the United States gits you down the way these soldiers of America. But he won't. Remember—Keep 'em fed right. come in here lookin' downright sickly, "If my country wants my railroad it Gaines can do it! white like a lady, no eyes for the kin have it," said Enoch John. "In fact, jungle and next thing you know these it don't have to ask fer it. It's got it." nice lady-white boys from the city are At the end of a sunless tunnel of whistlin like the birds is their steady culpa, corotu, wild figs, ilang-ilang and company, totin' big snakes up to camp camphorwood, thatched and sheathed for pets and tryin' to put dog collars on with palm upon palm, we were halted jungle cats. By the time they know by the first outpost of the great search enough about the jungle to be skeered light battery above. Four kids in fabric of it it's too late—too late fer the jungle." helmets, shorts and boots protecting their legs from the crawlers, halted us, About that business of putting a dog examined our passes. They gave us a collar on a puma—it didn't work. It water canteen and filled it for us from a might have been done if Izzy Gishmick water vine. With a machete one of them OFFKIAl PHOTO—U. $. ANTARCTIC SBtVICS hadn't been stricken with a strictly slashed down six feet of a wrist-thick Gaines-fed slfed dogs of U. S. Antarctic Expe Mickey Finn idea. A kid drafted nine vine that was trying with a minimum of dition haul fuel from "U. S. S. North Star." months ago out of a movie usher job on success to strangle a rubber tree. Swiftly Theirs was the food now offered in this coupon. Market Street, San Francisco, caught a he held it vertical and let the purest COPVRIQHT 1942, GAINES FOOD CO., INC. PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED so Collier's for April 11, 1948 water we'd had in the tropics spill into before. You'd have to be awfully crazy the canteen. Over the shelter he stood to tackle a job like that just for fun. guard in was the sign: "Chicago Junior. The lumber, the guns, the searchlights Telephone 000 Mercy. Hell 000 miles. could be swung and dragged up section Gatun three days." by section of course. Even so, each At every turn up the mountain the section weighed four or five hundred grade grew steeper. And presently, pounds and there were lots of sections. clutching at roots, clinging to long free- What dazzled us was the presence on swinging vines, we were dragging up a that mountain of a large electric re sixty per cent grade digging our feet frigerator that had to be taken up intact into toeholds scooped out by the United —all 800 pounds of it—and of a huge States Army's Jvmgle Mudders—lads power generator the weight of which is who, a few months ago, would have one of the' many thousand interesting made a major tragedy of climbing to the facts that are regarded here as mili top floor of a three-story walk-up or tary secrets and which therefore may hiking two miles to school. not be passed on to you. But some day An iguana ran over our hand, giving go look at a generator the size of a ten- us his lizardly leer as he sped past, ton truck. Try to push it around down spearing with his come-hither tongue. there on your tenderfoot level. And Someone behind us stepped off the trail, when you get nowhere doing that, start cursed bravely, disappeared into the wondering what you'd do if you and wall of huge fern and jungle matting. A six or eight more like you had the as covey of brilliant birds—^parakeets we signment of lugging it up a Darien think—gave him hell for being so mountain through a steaming jungle clumsy. The mountaintop was just trail with the thermometer blowing its above us; that's all we cared about. top. Nice work if you can avoid it. But Something that had been waiting for these former drugstore cowboys, rug- weeks to get itself a large hunk of ama cutters, fraternity house Robert Taylors, teur war correspondent had entered one ticket scalpers, brush salesman, Kelly NO. 2 IN A SERIES OF SYMBOLIC STATUETTES of the several large rents in what was pool heroes and counter jumpers did it. left of our shirt. Later Private Gish- And you ought to see them now. mick, looking over the missing section "Listen, citizen," said Izzy Gishmick Close in on Comfort! of our belly, said that it must have been that night. "If they was to send me this a prizefighter's manager. Billy Conn for six weeks, I'd make a If s all right for our Jockey dog to yawn "They always take the soft part, punchin' fool outa him. Me, I couldn't . . . but, if we caught a single pair of citizen," said Private Gishmick. slug my way out of a soap bubble maybe, but when I get back to Eighth Jockey lowers gapping, we'd sentence They Did the Impossible Avenue and Fiftieth Street I'm gointa it to hard labor for life—as a windshield slap two cops I got acquainted with the Anyway, we made it, as we've already hard way and find out if I'm only kid- cloth in a filling station! intimated. And before the swift tropi din' myself. I weighed a hundred and cal night fell, with ho twilight to soften thirty-four when they give me this job the blow, we beheld the sobering sight —all of it vanilla. Today I'm a hundred There's little chance of that, however, of the evening jungle and the work of and sixty-two, all of it dumb muscle. that most adaptable and resourceful How do I get this way? Well, citizen, for Jockey is masculinized to fit the male Jockey Midway of all God's creatures—the American the sergeant says to me: 'Gishmick, figure everywhere. Cooper's patented boy. In crates, in boxes, on limbers, on how's for livin' in the trees like your old their backs, these kids newly come from man did?' And I says: 'Sarge, my old Y-front* construction, found only in buttonless Jockey Under the streets of the city and the corners of man was bom and lived and died on a wear, couples a conveniently-angled opening—that positively small towns, from the cool of the level fire escape in a tenement that would pasture and the ice of the north, had make a monkey outa Frank Buck and will not gap —with mild, restful support lugged their huge searchlights to sweep send him back stuffed and mounted for the skies above two oceans for many the parlor mantel, so pick me a tree.' So, and complete freedom from bunch, bind miles. They had had no mechanical de citizen, you're lookin' at Jungleer First- and squirm. Jockey is cool, too, and easy vices to help them, no slings, no pulleys, Class Isador Gishmick, of Pleasant Dol no cranes, just rope and brawn and the lar Boulevard, New York City. When to launder. Its knit fabric absorbs and will. Pack mules helped halfway up the you get back tell the boys on Jacobs' evaporates perspiration, gives your skin mountains and then lay down, rolled Beach phooey." over and would have slid back to the a chance to breathe, rinses clean in a jiffy, bottom with their cargoes if these lads Join the Army—for Privacy and needs no ironing. Get a supply of from the pavements hadn't blocked them, lashed them fast to vines and We sat on the table top of the moun Jockeys now—and see if they don't bring trees. tain, our legs swinging free over the long comfort closer to you than it's ever been. From the end of the valley trail, for easy swale of the jungle below. The Patented Y" Front five miles up the matted mountain night falls fast but the air clears in the Construction.The and finally up the last murderous stretch first gentle rush of the sunset breeze. Two-piece... varied leg lengths... contoured of the red stone cliff, these American Across the billowing palm roof of the Source of Support jungleers had dragged antiaircraft guns, reeking wilderness we scanned the other shirts to match. Children's sizes down to four huge searchlights that weigh thousands peaks. Almost all of them were manned yearif. For widest selection of of pounds, the lumber with which by American jungleers, armed with long, they've built their own quarters. No sleek cannon that can spit hell into fabrics, visit "Quality Corner" at wonder the howler monkeys howled at heaven as fast as you can clap your your favorite store. And always them. As far as we could learn not even hands. With their searchlights they can the black bushboj^ had got that far up, drive the stars out of the night, blazing look for the words "Jockey" and nor the Cunas nor the Chocos. We the path to death. A boy from Chicago "Coopers" on the label. They're didn't have to take the word of Colonel sat beside us. Reamer Argo for that, nor of Captain He was almost morosely silent for a your assurance of satisfaction. Lee Davis. They had followed us up, long time. We'd ask him questions, but observing our struggles with consider until he got ready to talk all he did was able interest, being jungleers themselves nod and smile although what we'd ask * I —Tk—T/ie source of IIvpporl . in the Panama Coast Artillery. And called for neither. Presently, although A maybe it was just a coincidence but just we hadn't asked, he began to talk: behind us as we got what we'd asked "Big mountain down that way—see? for, came a chaplain and a doctor. It —that's Cerro Picacho. There's a story helped to hear them grunt and groan. about it—something like Rip Van The chaplain was First Lieutenant Den Winkle in reverse. An old Cuna played nis Coleman from the Dunwoodie Semi the rebec for twenty years without nary near Yonkers„New York. We're stopping and taught the birds to sing. sorry but the doctor's name—a captain Something like that. Maybe tomorrow —must have been lost in that bunch of you can see Chorcha peak. Everybody notes we left in that jungle mud bath on down here writes poetry about it. Cleat our way back to Panama City. That's days you can see Cerro Santa Maria and the only dive we took but it was a Cerro del Horqueta. Smell the camphor- NEW YORK CHICAeO LOS ANBELCS SAN FRANCISCO SEATTLE honey. The chaplain and the doctor wood? Did you smell the orchids while MKi awl dislrltaM ii tmtt Iqr MN^IM, HMRtti, Out; It AMnlta Dr MKRH also assiired us that these American sol you were coming up? They aren't dead ^111 HLWDBI HAH PI IU>>QIIT UlllBWHH ^ Xglttlv unit, Sidmr. li'ltttMl MM tr Uto A Sc«tt, MM Mtin. iMttK to MM 2nliii< b| Lm-Willnr-RwMii. lU., Chrittekarck, S1 diers were the first to scale that Darien like orchids back home. They smell." J9tt9t MAKItS RtO. U. S. MT. OFF. mountain cliff. Maybe nobody had to "You like it here?" we asked. PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED "Listen, mister," he replied almost hadn't snapped us out of it. Planes enthusiastically. "This is the first time were coming. Our own planes? He in my life I've ever known what privacy didn't ask. He didn't ask anything, just was." repeated what the central yonder on "Joined the Army to get a little that other mountaintop was saying. privacy? Must have been slightly hectic Right. Yessir. Right. Yessir. And as at home." he talked, the searchlights and the guns "I'll say. I joined the Army because were trained on that square in the the draft got me. Didn't want to. But dark heavens that in a minute or two now I've been thinking of writing to the would be the frame of the oncoming President or somebody, thanking them. planes. I grabbed at this jungle job when it This is the way it would come—the came along. Listen: both my parents long-expected attack on the Canal. were in vaudeville. I was born in a Okay, we were ready. Men move in the dressing room. I slept with my head on darkness, swift, sure, to posts. There's old costumes, I was a night owl before a brief whir of wheels, a soft sliding of I was five years old—trouping with my metal, a quiet, almost murmured com mother and my old man. When the mand. movies killed vaudeville, it was the In the clear indigo above us, the circus, amusement parks, burlesque, jungle moon softening it with thin cold fairs. Like that. The older I got, the light, we saw the planes—six of them. more I hated it. But so what? Show The guns picked them up. A button business, kid. No good at it myself; but could be pressed, and the planes would what else? So I'm working in an agency be blinded in the terrible light of the when the draft got me. Now I'm here most powerful glares the Army has ever with the antiaircraft, sitting on top of owned. All we were waiting for was the world looking at the jungle. I can the word from below, and these moun- sit up here all night and not say any taintops would burst into fire—a more thing to anybody, and nobody says any murderous fire than ever rose from thing to me. Something I've wanted for that now dead volcano yonder. years. I haven't talked this much to But the word came that they were anybody for six months. Up here, the Navy planes, on their course, all ac silence gets into you. Nobody talks counted for. They roared over, their much at night. Down there—home— melodious baritone song magnified in ^wr//.^^4 it's small and crowded and noisy, all this ocean of silence. But that's the day, all night. Up here, it's too big for way it will come—^when it comes. noise. It smells quiet. You can think If this wasn't war we'd tell you how if you want to. Private!" many American Jungleers there are on "Think about what?" these mountains. If we could we'd tell "I think it's swell," he grinned. you just where we are tonight. Anyway, And then he left us. We sat there we wish you were here. You'd stop alone and we too began to think. We grousing about sugar, tires, girdles, silk thought a lot of foolish things. We stockings. You'd stop hoarding. You'd thought how nice and tonic it would be pay your taxes and be glad. This place to have a lot of those war-contract com gets you! mission merchants, priority whiners But we can tell you that never before and party politicians up in Washington in your country's history has anything spend a few huge nights on a Pan like this come to American troops. ama Coast Artillery mountaintop. We We're here in the Darien jungle for the thought about pensions for congressmen duration. We're happy, we're healthy, —and laughed. We thought of a few we want a fight. That's what these kids calamity-howlers (taxes and debt and are telling us to write. after the war) back in the States and They get three days off a month. They wished they could be with us. We can slide down the mountain, hit the thought, "Here's a swell spot for a fire jungle trail for civilization. Call it that, side chat, Mr. President." We thought, for the want of a more accurate word. "There's unity, truth and vigilance up Some of them do that, maybe catching here, Mr. Willkie. Come on up, Mr. Enoch John Hooper's epileptic rattler Willkie." We thought, "It's all clear and and maybe not. But many times they understandable here above the jungle. don't leave the jungle or the mountains Colonel Knox and Mr. Stimson. You but carve new machete trails to neigh could learn about devotion, learn from boring mountains to see what gives with these kids how to fight without hate. the guys across the valley. Come on up! We'll carry you if you Their hero is General Douglas Mac- want!" We thought, "Come up to this Arthur, to whom they send word that rancho in the skies, Archie MacLeish never gets to him: "Wish we were with and Leon Henderson, Tom Connally you. Pal." and Ham Fish, John L. Lewis and Bill Their peeve is the Jap to whom they Green. You can make it. General extend the invitation: "Come up and Marshall and Admiral Stark, Do you see me sometime, li'l boy!" Brown diamond ring courtesy of DeBeer: good to breathe the rank, sharp reek of Their motto, the new war cry of the the jungle a few days. Listen! These Panama jungle, is carved high upon the kids don't have to be exhorted to fight, blue-black mountains: to make sacrifices ..." WHATEVER THE TASK. We'd have gone on like that if the Hell! Something's just bitten our droning voice of the officer at the radio belly again! wu//r/ I. W. Harper is unexcelled in taste and quality . . . for which it has l^een awarded gold medals at many gieat international expositions ... in making I. W. Harper, cost is no object. .W. HARPER DAVID a. KUFFINE SI Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey, 100 Proof, Bottled in Bond, Bernheim Distilling Co.,lnc.,Louisville. Ky. PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED 52 Collier's for April 11, 1942 The Perils of Judy Continued from page 14 that there's no longer any way for an that now, at twenty-nine, she can look actor to get experience. "It's a vicious back on what seems to her a very long circle, my dear!" and active life. "I'd feel like the grand For those who can take it—for those old lady of the theater," she says. "That willing to chance the terrible perils of is, if I were grander." Pauline for a crack at the lived-happily- Tall—five feet six—a thin hundred ever-after part—here's how it's done: and sixteen pounds, she's inclined to be First, book passage on the Athenia, or pale under her blond ringlets. The kind a reasonable facsimile thereof—^which of woman who looks best in great big is to say, a boat aimed at a torpedo. hats, she's also the kind of woman who Judith did precisely that. An Ameri usually wears little hats because they're can woman alone in London just before easier. See her on the street and you'd the war, she could hardly prove that know immediately that you were face her work on the radio was essential to to face with a careerist—a woman doc the national interest. Therefore, she tor, a writer, somebody with very clear packed the wardrobe she had finally got ideas on how to vote and what's the best together after a year and a half of hard source of Vitamin B. work; packed it tenderly because the Actually the only way she betrays her lack of proper costume had more than scholarly turn of mind is in her passion once defeated her professionally. for correct pronunciation. She's rarely more than a minute's walk from five or How to Learn About Life six representative dictionaries and is likely to confound her stage directors The ship was overcrowded with refu with something like this: "Well, if you gees—mainly female and infant—and want me to pronounce it med-i-cine, of on the night war was declared Judith course I will. However, the Oxford gives went down to dinner beset by the feeling med-sin and, as this is an English play, that she was playing in a rather seedy I really feel—don't you agree?" revival of Outward Bound. People usually do. Nothing seemed very real to her as Which is not to say that she's self- she sat between her fianc§ and his fa righteous about her speech. She simply '•kk^^0^B:^ • 'if' ]':'. \-;^^5i therfi . Then there was a crash, the smell has a certain calm undertone of clipped of cordite, and all the lights went out. British diction which makes everything "This is it!" she remembers remarking, she says seem absolutely, impeccably and there was stumbling and carefully- right. For instance, one of the stage not-pushing and a great deal of trying hands at Angel Street is an individual not to get panicky. known familiarly as "Liver-lip." Eighty people in a lifeboat built for He loves Judith dearly. "Gosh," he a maximum sixty—^Andrew, her fianc4, says admiringly. "With her, my name the only able-bodied man aboard. Fi sounds like it was Sir Liver-lip. I ad F£ELtAe dl^rence/ nally, high seas got them; the boat cap mire the English." sized. "The English," in this case, was born Of the eighty, nine dragged them in South Dakota. When Judith was Feel the Velvety Softness, YOU SLEEP ON IT-NOT IN IT! selves onto the overturned craft, clung one year old, she and her mother moved yet that Supporting Firmness grimly to it and shivered. An old man to the bustling metropolis of Moose An amazing combination for tiealth- slipped off into the darkness, and An Jaw, Saskatchewan, Canada; to Judith, ful sleeping luxury .You sleep on it, not f0* M^iy^ drew dived after him. A few minutes "Moose Jah." There Judith whizzed in it. That's Serta Vitalized Cushion ^3. later Andrew was back—^without his through grammar school and a case of ing. It comes from the patented rib y^immsi^^: father. the mumps. bon steel innerspringing which adjusts They say an actress has to know life, to your individual size and weight, and For hopeful actors, the mumps are assures guaranteed lasting comfort. and they usually spell it Life. Nobody's optional but grammar school is defi ever been quite sure whether this means nitely obligatory. It was there that she should live immorally, fully, or just Judith not only learned to read but to frequently. If it's the last two, Judith read aloud. That was her own idea. Be agrees. At one point in Angel Street cause she was ahead of her classmates she has the stage to herself and is re and because she had to spend much time SBBtAe dimrence/ quired to imitate a woman blowing her alone, she used to whistle up compan top. Of her performance in this scene, a ionship by quoting the literary masters Absolutely Smooth! You NO TUFTS-NO BUMPS-NO HOLLOWS critic wrote: "If she'd played it any bet to herself in full voice. actually see the Extra Comfort ter, the audience would have screamed Today she's still at it. The walls of No tufts, no dust hollows, no tied- aloud—in fact, some did." her single room at the Hotel Algonquin down, tilting coils to break loose. It's Judith thinks that maybe her por are regularly regaled by Judith Evelyn's lighter weight, easier to keep clean and trayal of hysteria is helped by some of readings from the classics. The people handle. Makes a smoother, neater bed. the things she saw on that ship; certain next door love it. t Fine quality Sertaseptic coverings vivid memories of gaping, terrified faces. "Only one little suggestion. Miss Eve are fully ventilated, permanently germ and odor repellent... fresh... antiseptic. In particular there are the eyes of a lyn. With things the way they are— woman who—^just as the half-dead eight English, please. Not German." on that capsized lifeboat were being pulled aboard a destroyer—released her No Money—No College tired hold on her baby and watched it Compare this guaranteed vital drop into the sea. For after graduating from Manitoba, ized luxury no other mattress The fact that she was on the Athenia she got a Master of Arts degree in Ger can give you! has been noted in many newspaper in man with an eye toward taking her Ph.D. at Heidelberg and returning to Enjoy the difference that fully relaxed, terviews which quote Judith as saying PERFECT SLEEPER that those experiences helped develop Canada, a full-fledged university pro vitalizing slumber can make in how fessor. you feel, how you look and how much her acting technique. you and your dear ones get out of life. "Now you have to have been on the But there was one bug in the gravy. Don't delay! Visit your Serta dealer Still *395o Athenia to get a part!" was the reaction Her stepfather was an automobile dealer today. Make the Perfect Sleeper test. of one of the young actors of the vicious- and the year was 1932. "Dear," he said You'll buy no other mattress. WEST COAST AND CANADA, %A1.i PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED Collier's for April 11, 1942 53 ulation of two or more, or an auditorium you-so and why-couldn't-it-have-been- with a,roof, in which case population I reactions, of Shepard Traube's plans was optional. to present the play in New York featur "A very interesting ten months," she ing Vincent Price and Price's wife, Edith says soberly. "We reached the north Barrett. ernmost points in the provinces of Al But Miss Barrett fell ill just as re berta, British Columbia and Manitoba." hearsals were scheduled to begin in New She was quite a traveler by the time York. Producer Traube found himself she arrived in Hollywood to visit an with a double calamity—first, he was aunt, and had little or no difficulty man leading-lady-less, and second, he was aging the trip from Hollywood to Pasa haunted by Vincent Price and Leo Car dena. There she got a chance to act at roll. This pair followed him all over the famous Pasadena Playhouse—in a Manhattan and never stopped dinning purely amateur capacity. For the first into bis ears their praises of Judith Eve time in her life she began to suspect lyn's Coast performance, which they'd that acting might be a career for her, seen and he hadn't. not just a siding on the track to teaching. "I tell you," said Price, "she's so good Twenty dollars a month from home it gives me gooseflesh." housed her with two other young ac Finally Traube gave in and suspi tresses, fed her occasionally — but ciously wired Judith's agent: "Want bought no clothes. Eighteen months of Judith Evelyn hundred dollars week that before she decided she'd better plus transportation New York to play leave while her^one remaining dress still Mrs. Manningham, also general under hung from her shoulders. To Toronto, study." where she learned to be a great many That "also general understudy" line different kinds of people over the air, had Judith chewing a lot of fingernail and where she became engaged to a during the train ride east. The role of young Englishman of radio named An Mrs. Manningham is what the trade drew Allen. calls an "actor killer." Arduous in the He went to England; sent for her. But extreme, it permits the actress to be when she arrived she immediately be offstage a total of seven minutes an came so busy making money on the air evening. that she couldn't take time out for mar What Mr. Traube meant, of course, riage. was that he still didn't have much con Aside from collecting that important fidence in this female Lochinvar from wardrobe of hers—destined to sink with the West. If she was as bad as he the Athenia—probably the most impor thought she'd be, he'd make her earn tant event of her sojourn was seeing a her share of the budget by understudy play called Gaslight, known in some ing. Otherwise—well, he'd see. songs and this story as Angel Street. He saw all right. Judith marched onto the bare rehearsal stage and played A Six Months' Rehearsal to an audience consisting of Traube and about half the play's fifteen or Back in Holljrwood after the Athenia twenty backers. She went right through disaster, she was worse off than when the first act and then turned on her heel she'd left. Andrew was toiling on things and walked off to her dressing room— to do with the Canadian military wire where she found Traube's lawyer await less, so she busied herself with a poor ing her. "Sign here," he said. but terribly honest theatrical group That contract has been the subject of which had no theater, no money and no heated argument up and down Broad "i'ti nevw b« tMM^iil waiM f play. way, in drugstores, bars and agents' open this <»•«; isAei'^' She remembered Gaslight and they offices. It provides Judith with a salary all agreed with her that it was a well- of one hundred dollars a week—a sum nigh perfect script. In living rooms, roughly equivalent to that earned by the "You're no dMNM^Mrtim wi^ parks, on beaches, and once in the mid ticket sellers in the box office. In a hit iMxIy el«e v^o |H||Rjk..«(se.-' of Angel Street's dimensions—low run (0^- dle of a children's play street, they re hearsed it for six months to the constant ning costs, high profits—it is customary of Block & WbM^lii^rio. accompaniment of grumbling noises for the producing corporation to tear up from their own empty stomachs. old contracts, drawn with an eye on fail Finally two of the sturdier members ure, and replace them with something of the group forced their way into the more luxurious—tailored to fit. office of the gentleman who owned a Almost alone among those who dis supersmall theater called the Playbox. cuss that contract, Judith is unper There in his office Judith and Company turbed. In the first place, she frequently gave a violent performance of the melo receives a bonus along with her weekly drama and threatened to keep doing it pay check and doesn't much care • It's the fine Character of until he put it on in his theater. Ama whether it's backed by a written guar teur, of course. No money, naturally. antee or not. Then, too, radio-script Black & ^hite that gives you such Not much scenery, obviously. shows and guest spots swell her income When they finally let him speak he at least a hundred per cent. complete satisfaction. The flavor is said yes, he thought it was a splendid Meanwhile, Hollywood winks and idea and would they kindly get off his leers and beckons to her. She gets bona- magnificent. The bouquet, delight desk? fide movie offers by the gross in her daily mail, but for the present she's A professional producer saw the Play- ful. And every drop is so smooth, box version of the play. He made the quite content in a part for which she did kids join Equity and then moved the everything but steal. whole kit and kaboodle to the Holly Plans for the future? "Oh, I don't so mellow. For dependable enjoy "i^^^^l EIGHT wood Theater which, to them, was big- make any plans. That was knocked out ' ."^T? J YEARS OLD time—salary and everything. of me a long time ago. Not, you under ment — ask for Black & White. It ran there for several months and stand, that I don't think I've been very, then Judith read, with mingled I-told- very lucky." %\ BLACK ft WHITE ## BLENDED SCOTCH WHISKY • 86.8 PROOF Conga Line CROCKETT JOHHSOH THE FIEISCHMANN DiSTILlING CORPORATION, NEW YORK, N. Y. • SOLE DISTRIBUTORS PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED 54 Collier's for April 11, 1942 BroadbiU! Continued from page 17 upon them and kept right at it until he lin, two blue marlin, two striped marlin, avail. The striped marlin off Chile had all the supper he wanted. two mako sharks, and a pair of broad- usually swim in pairs, and even though Swordfish really get tough after dark, bill. He has caught hundreds of fish, we were a mile away from where I and this fellow was no exception. Just large and small, throughout the world, hooked my fish, within an hour his at dusk I managed to lift the steel leader and has shot big game from Africa, friend would follow him and put in his out of the water; but the fish got right Asia, and Indo-China to Alaska and the appearance. With 24- or 39-thread line in our wake and. started to chase the Canadian Rockies, but he always says they are unable to cut it easily. omm boat, which was running as fast as she that the one fish he wants to catch again This is absolutely stunt fishing and I would go with the throttles wide open. and the one that gives him his greatest definitely do not advise it. It is com The fish was about ten feet behind the thrill of all sports is the broadbill sword- parable to trying to shoot a grizzly bear stem and about three feet under water. fish. or an elephant with a sling shot. Around half past eleven, he began to The four species of marlin are mag The broadbill swordfish appears to circle and at twelve o'clock came up, nificent fish; so, of course, are the giant have only one marine enemy—the mako stone dead. tuna. Members of the marlin family shark. Of all the sharks that swim, he Why these fish put up a tougher fight jump repeatedly. I have seen the Chil is the finest, fastest and only good one /""••fiKCMOl!?! after dark, I cannot explain, but Zane ean striped marlin jump clean out of to catch. Sometimes he is able to at Grey fought one off Catalina, California, water fifty-two times by actual count. tack the swordfish from the rear when in 1924, that began to feed on flying This, of course, tires them out. I be he is on the surface and cut off his tail, fish more than eleven hours after it had lieve the swordfish is actually too smart thus rendering him completely power been hooked. Once, at nine o'clock at to jump. The striped marlin, as he is less. Actual battles have been witnessed night, I made Mrs. Farrington quit on found off Chile, is, I believe, the most between these two gladiators of the sea, one when she injured her back after beautiful fish in the world. The color and several swordfish have been found having fought the fish eight hours and of his stripes and body are lovely to be dead floating on the surface, minus their fifteen minutes. I took him on for over hold, and believe me, he knows all the tails. two hours more and was unable to move tricks of his trade. He can jump, grey Sportsman's Paradise him fifty feet. The rod finally broke. hound, tail-walk, somersault, and charge Mrs. Michael Lemer, who shares with on and over the surface of the water In 1939, off Bimini, Lemer caught a Mrs. Farrington the honor of being the like no other fish I have ever seen. I 720-pound mako shark which had in only women to have caught swordfish in took the 9-thTead world's record striped side him, practically intact, a 120-pound both the Atlantic and the Pacific oceans, marlin (a 425-pounder) off Chile last broadbill swordfish with his sword still fought one for over seven hours off May. In fact, it was the largest fish of attached. The mako shark has the wick Tocopilla, Chile, which was estimated any species ever taken on 9-thread edest set of teeth of anything that swims to weigh over a thousand pounds. The (which tests 27 pounds when wet). We "•^•^aV the oceans. 1^1^ fish was lost after the guide took the used 600 yards of line, but of course Chile is without a doubt the greatest SWIRW^ leader, so they had a good look at him. nowhere near that amount ever leaves sporting country in the world; in my the reel. The rod weighed six ounces. opinion, her fresh-water fishing, dove The former record was 351 pounds. '"Ss?---^ The Big One That Gol Away shooting, duck shooting, and shore bird That same morning I caught another shooting for golden plover and other Mrs. Farrington also had the same that weighed 322 pounds, and lost a third species, have absolutely no equal. She experience with a fish estimated to be after a two-hour fight. The recprd on also has as fine skiing to offer as can be two feet longer than my 853-pounder. 6-thread is 209 pounds, so I then at found anywhere in the world. And for Hers broke loose from the guide after tempted to catch one on that size line the man who likes the smaller species he had hold of the leader, which the fish with a four-ounce rod tip. As there are of salt-water fish, there are plenty of cut with his sword. This is a common not many striped marlin off Chile that these too. The lovely dolphin, fastest occurrence, even though the steel cable weigh less than 300 pounds, I didn't feel and most beautiful of the small fish, are leader tests 500 pounds. Only seven I would have much chance. I hooked found off her coast in great numbers; the We've been fortunate! In recent women have ever caught swordfish on eight of them for periods ranging from hard-fighting yellow-fin tuna weighing rod and reel. The first rod-and-reel- ten minutes to an hour and a half, but up to 100 pounds disport themselves seasons . . . wine-grapes from caught swordfish, by the way, was taken on six different occasions the marlin's there by the thousands; the true Pacific around HAMMONDSPORT have in 1913 by the late W. C. Boschen, who mate or companion swam up and cut albacora is always plentiful. The striped injured himself very badly in fighting the line. It was a spectacular sight to marlin are more numerous and larger been better than ever. Yet even the fish. see them do it. I would stand on top here than in any other place in the But don't get the idea that they are of the cabin roof with the rod over my world. Mike Lerner counted fifty-one of of these, we've selected only the all tough. Mrs. Farrington took a 396- head, with the line out of water, and the them tailing in a single day's fishing off pounder in four minutes, hooked in the other fish would leap clean out and cut Tocopilla. finest. . . To their juices, we ve eye, and he came to the boat like a baby. the flimsy line with his bill. We would You can have them all—and to spare! throw bottles at him, but it was of no given great care — to "capture ' In six days' fishing last year off Chile, My hat is off to the albacora! I lost five in succession, some of which ALL the glorious flavor Nature had been on the hook for as long as two hours. Then I caught a 390-pounder in gave them. The results? . . Just six minutes! Hooking and boating a swordfish is taste these fine wines — and you satisfaction enough for one day. But to will have the catch two swordfish on the same day is the greatest prize and greatest thrill any angler can ever have happen to him. It's a trick that can only be compared to fyC PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED Collier's for April 11, 1942 55 Your Sugar Bowl Blows Up Continued from page 21 famine—one that it takes years to cor crystallized sugar from these different rect. There are a lot of things that can sources be distinguished." be done about sugar production this Tlie quickest way to get more sugar year, and most are being tried. Another is to plant more of the long, wedge- bit of bright lining is that the Cubans shaped beets that thrive on the Pacific have a bumper crop this year. Over and Coast and in the Rocky Mountain, above the million tons earmarked for prairie and Great Lakes states. In Cali ethyl alcohol, they have 2,300,000 tons fornia, the leading producer of beets, of sugar for our market. That, with the seed planted in midwinter can be beets 2,360,000 tons we can grow at home, now ready for harvesting in July; eighteen that the quota is on the scrap heap, plus hours after the beets flow into the sugar the 1,500,000 tons Hawaii and Puerto mill they can be sacks of pure sugar Rico will deliver, gives us almost "six ready for delivery. In Colorado, next million two" for the year, instead of the largest sugar-beet state, beets planted eight million tons we might have had. in the spring will be sugar by October. Finally, sugar men estimate that This country's 150,000 beet growers— there's another million tons tucked who are unique among farmers in that away in the pantries of the country. they invariably sell their crops before Housewives, remembering how sugar they plant them, growing strictly on soared to 26^ at the end of World War I, contract for refineries—have been r'ar- have been stocking up since this war ing to plant more beets for years. Un first broke out in Europe. In the single der the Jones-Costigan sugar-quota law, month of September, 1939, while the the Department of Agriculture held Nazis were blitzing the Poles, retail them down to 916,000 acres last year. buying swallowed up a 2,200,000-ton Farmers like to rotate their beets with mountain of sugar, almost three times other crops, the idea being that the sugar the normal purchase. beets' long roots reach down to aerate and improve the soil for other harvests The Problem of Containers to follow. Last year's twelve-million- ton crop yielded not only every fifth bag Sugar men say that some of the inci of sugar that we'll have this year, but dental angles to the sugar shortage will the sugar-beet tops fed tens of thou hit home harder than the shortage it sands of farm animals, and the beet self. One of these is bags. Raw sugar chips, mixed with molasses and dried in comes to refineries in this country in the sugar mills until they resembled heavy burlap bags. After they were breakfast food, fattened additional emptied, they were laundered, lined thousands of steers for market. with muslin, and used to ship bulk sugar This year the sugar-beet growers to market. The beet-sugar mills fol want to step up their plantings to the lowed the bagging practices of the cane- point where the beet refineries can pro sugar makers. Both groups put up vide us with every third bag of sugar. five-, ten- and twenty-five-pound quan The quota is off, but another limitation tities in muslin bags for home use, be confronts them—labor. The Army, the cause housewives insisted on having Navy and the defense plants have them for washcloths, dishtowels, for pulled thousands of workers off the draining vegetables, cottage cheese, and farms, and the wages of those that re what not. Down South, some of the cus main have jumped twenty-five per cent. tomers even used the bags for under Labor is the big item of expense in beet wear. For years, the sugar refineries farming because it takes a squad of have been trying—but without success seventy men per thousand acres for —to replace the muslin with kraft pa thinning, and forty for harvesting. per, which is cheaper, cleaner, and keeps out the moisture. No, thank you, the A Cinch for the Inventors housewives were not buying their sugar Try This At Bedtime Tonight that way. Fortunately, the Sugar Beet Institute TF YOU awaken nerve-jangled or tired in Well, they're going to before long. The Second: To build vitality while you in 1938 sent a committee to see Pro -*- the morning—are "used-up" long be sleep, Ovaltine supplies a wider variety 120 million new burlap bags which the fessor H. B. Walker, head of the engi fore night^you should know this. To and wealth of valuable food elements industry would customarily have do neering staff of the University of day, science reports that millions who than any single natural food. More than nated to the grocers, the bakers, the bot California agricultural school at Davis. feel this way can wake up fresh and buoy merely a "vitamin carrier," it provides tlers and the canners, who ultimately Professor Walker had gathered together ant, with lasting vitality to carry them not just two—four—or six—but eleven dole them out to the consumers, this a group of. gadget inventors to solve the through the day! important food elements, including vita year are in far-off Calcutta, the burlap problems of farmers, and the beet men For science has discovered certain al mins and minerals often deficient in center of the world. The available bur hoped that these Edisons might evolve most-magic food elements—with power ordinary foods. It provides signifi lap bags that were in this country or on a machine to thin and harvest beets. to revitalize millions of the tired, nervous cant amounts of Vitamins A, Bi, D the way have been commandeered by Well, said the professor, maybe it or under par, and build them up for clear- and G, protecting minerals, complete the Army for sandbags to build revet could be done if he and his colleagues eyed morning freshness and vigorous, proteins. ments at airports and coast-defense had a little money to build some ex energetic days. So why not see what these new discov sites. So the refineries are sending their perimental machines. They'd just fin eries about food may mean to you? Turn used bags back to the plantations for As you may have read in recent maga ished an invention for the walnut zines, these new-found elements are so to new, improved Ovaltine—starting to more raw sugar and are substituting growers, a machine to hull walnuts. important that govenunents throughout night, for more vigorous, buoyant living. multi-wall paper bags (like those used Would the committee like to see it the world are changing national diets to See if you don't begin to feel far fresher for cement and lime) as containers for work? The professor fed some walnuts include more of them. Warring nations mornings—with abundant vitality to face market-bound sugar. into a near-by machine, which neatly feed them to their eu-mies, to build up these strenuous days. As might be expected, the sugar men drilled a tiny hole in each nut as it physical stamina and sound nerves. Deny are mobilizing all their resources to fill passed by, and shot some gas into it, ex them to captive peoples, to sap resist the gap caused by the temporary loss ploding the shell and leaving the meats ance and undermine morale. SEND FOR FREE SAMPLES of our Philippine sources and the de bared. Already our own government is seek mand for shooting sugar. Although al OVALTINE, Dept. S42-C-4 "Well, I'll be!" exclaimed one of the ing ways to supply more of these ele 360 N. Michigan Avenue, Chicago, 111. most every plant that grows manages committee. "Anybody who could in ments. For government studies show Please send free samples of Regular and to gather some carbon dioxide from the vent that exploder can figure out a ma Chocolate Flavored Ovaltine, and interesting that 2 out of every 3 Americans aren't new booklet about certain miracle elements sunshine and mix it with hydrogen and chine to blow beets out of the ground." sure of getting enough of these rarer food- in food and the promise they hold. One sample oxygen from the soil to form C12H22O11, The Institute promptly raised some factors to be at their best. offer to a person. only sugar cane and sugar beets store money, and Professor Walker and his Name the stuff in such form that the men can staff began inventing. Last year, after What To Do extract it easily and in great quantities. discarding a lot of contraptions that In light of these discoveries, thousands Address.. The U. S. Department of Agriculture didn't work, they had proven up three are taking a cup of new, improved Oval- chemists have tested sugar refined from ingenious machines the beet men think tine night and morning. For Ovaltine is City Stale sorghum, palms, bamboo, maples, wa will cut their labor requirements and a scientific food-concentrate designed to termelons p- 1 scores of other plants, as costs to one third. do two important things. well as ' ind beets, and concluded The first is a beet-seed "segmenter." First: Taken warm at bedtime, Oval- THE PROTECTING FOOD.DRINK that '' lemical test can the pure A sugar-beet seed is a curious corky tine fosters sound sleep—without drugs. PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED 56 Collier's for April 11, 1942 proposition, about the size of the eraser crush their staggered crops of cane all on your pencil. In it nestle from two to year around. That is one of the diffi five seed germs. Each germ makes a culties in harvesting the Hawaii supply. plant, and when all the plants are al The mills, which have hitherto run day lowed to grow, they crowd together in and night, can't do that now because all long, skinny roots with little room for Hawaii is blacked out nightly. sugar storage. The tedious job in beet To get the sugar-bearing sap, the growing is to remove carefully all but plantation mills feed the cane through one of these plants after they have three sets of rollers under tremendous sprouted. Thinning usually gives the re pressure. From the third set, the ba maining plant a setback in growth. gasse, or cane fiber, emerges almost as The "segmenter" devised by Roy dry as wood, to be used as fuel or proc Bainer, one of Professor Walker's men, essed into wallboard. The sap, caught consists of a hopper beneath which is a in great pans, is pumped into heated coarse emery wheel and a tiny shear vats, where lime settles the impurities, bar. As the corky seeds feed out of the after which the molasses (except that hopper, the whirling wheel clips them earmarked for ethyl alcohol) is dehy against the shear bar. When the pieces drated into brown raw sugar, sacked and drop into the sack below, each has just loaded onto sugar boats bound for one seed germ in it. The speedy, inex American refineries. pensive gadget eliminates the job of thinning hills with multiple plants. Purity is What Counts Meantime, the professor's gang per fected a single seed planter, which The world's largest sugar refinery, at spaces the individual seeds an inch to Crockett on San Francisco Bay, is two inches apart (depending on how the owned by a co-operative of thirty-six grower wants them), and two other Hawaiian plantations. Here, as in the gadgets for mechanically thinning the other plants, the raw sugar goes through plants, after they are up and estab an astonishing series of chemical trans lished. The ideal space was to have a formations: It is melted into "sweet "It's spring. He forgot to clean out beet every ten inches in the row be water," subjected to a new lime treat cause the professor had a still more in ment, concentrated into a thick, oozy his radiator with Sani-Flush" genious machine up his sleeve, a beet brown fluid called "magma," treated to a harvester which does everything but whirling shower bath which turns it into Don't take chances this year on a clogged think. brown sugar molasses, and liquefied radiator. When you remove anti-freeze, INVITBW clean out dangerous rust and sediment. Last year, two of these machines were again into "liquor." It is then fed through Sani-Flush does it scientifically. Costs tested in commercial fields of Califor diatomaceous earth, the diatoms being only a few cents. microscopic sea animals that flourished nia and Colorado. As the harvester, at Don't take chances on just flushing Repose, rtV.^^e.'s tached to a tractor, moved down the and died in such numbers a million years with water. Sani-Flush is thorough. Use row, discs cleared away the dead leaves back, that their porous skeletons form a it yourself, or ask your service station. beWeve *^J\ermov)\V>s and loose soil, a finder found the beet mountain near Lompoc, California. Tests have shown Sani-Flush harm V/«"«* "uivbeosgood crowns (some of them level with the Finally, the amber-colored liquor less to any engine or fittings, when used ground, some a foot above it), indicated flows through three-story tanks filled according to directions on can. It's in their level to a self-adjusting topper most bathrooms for cleaning toilets. Sold as ^V^e•'r reP«^° ^ ^^^p»-, with charred bones of carefully selected in grocery, drug, hardware and 10c stores. with a series of revolving knives. beef shanks (there is $600,000 worth of The Hygienic Products Co., Canton, O. *^V ^^^t\ vanish, for Next, a series of V-shaped revolving bone char in the Crockett refinery rollers jiggled the wedgelike beets loose alone), and emerges from this Stygian cist^ ^'Vrepresen* o from their roots, making them setups mass—believe it or not—crystal clear, Sam^Hush for a battery of tapered rubber rollers and 99.9 pure. At this point, the chem P^^^'lumon skitt end that tossed them against a screen. ists call it a day and shoot the stuff *^''",^econdtt»onsot After sifting out the loose earth, this through vacuum tanks and hot revolv CLEANS OUT RADIATORS screen deflected the beet to a conveyor ing drums into which you can peek which fed it into a bin. through a little round window and watch ^°'^°" ^^V^ewos\o\- The whole device weighs only a thou the snowstorm of sugar whirling off to sand pounds, costs only $800 to build. the storage bins. With one operator, it harvests sixty tons The sugar makers of both the cane of beets a day, does the work of twenty and the beet camps take unholy pride fine v/«ne 9^°? hand-toppers. The only hitch in turning in their products. Each refinery's chem rtfesso'^""'"" the machines out in quantity is priori ists make about 800 tests in the course ''•«'' Sveet'"'"*'. ties on metal. of each day's batch of sweets, and either \ection- , ,ViVm9 o~ WW- ^"^ .>,, . group would eat a Jap raw for a prac . Vermou'^'- tical way of increasing the 99.9 pur 'W"'' .\. >W.d'"«" From Beels lo Bowl ity to, say, 99.99—practically perfect. MASAZINEX "We'll get it some day," they insist. The process of turning the beets into Your Guide to BETTER LIVING sugar in the country's 101 beet-sugar re In the meantime, the sugar makers fineries scattered from Michigan to are right tickled with what the nutrition California is a simple one. After their experts have been finding out about hot-water reception bath, the beets are sugar as a food. When you invest in a Blessed Relief sliced by revolving knives into strips pound of sugar, you buy 1,860 calories. resembling shoestring potatoes. The A pound of beefsteak, costing much from beets are not Crushed, as sugar cane is, more, yields 1,130 calories of energy. A because the sugar is leached out in hot pound of eggs gives you 700 calories; water. The resulting diffusion juice is a pound of whole milk about 300. So concentrated by heat, then treated in there you are. Of course, the steak, the TIREMake ThisD Simpl eEYE Test Today S lime-water vats to precipitate the non- eggs and the milk have other values sugar elements. Next it is routed which sugar, being a pure carbohydrate, through a series of filters for purifica lacks. But if you're going to play the tion, concentrated again, whirled at high old calorie game, you've got to play it tf^^- speed to toss off the moisture, finally with sugar. The sugar people figure that shot through long revolving hot drums the twelve billion pounds of sugar they lYES OVEtWORKED? Just put two drops of from which it tumbles in a snowy cas will produce this year will generate Murine in each eye. Right away you feel it cade, 99.9 pure crystal sucrose. about one fourth of the energy require start to soothe and refresh your eyes.You get— Refilling our sugar stock pile by the ments of the nation; which is pretty cane process, upon which the country good for one food. must rely for two thirds of its next In this country, nutrition experts have year's supply, is slower business. The been more interested in how quickly fastest growing cane—^which reaches its sugar is converted into energy. In tests, WSz^ %XiP maximum sugar content when the cane they have detected sugar's stimulation •^^»»it*''-' m '"wniil^ stalks are one year old—is that of Cuba, in the heart, the brain and the muscles QUICK KELIEF! Murine's 7 scientifically Puerto Rico, Florida and Louisiana. In in less than a minute after patients ate blended ingredients quickly relieve the dis Hawaii, where the growers have devel it. This lightning action is explained comfort of tired, burning eyes. Safe, gentle oped a special disease- and insect-resis by the fact that sugar, being completely Murine helps thousands—let it help you, too. tant cane, H-109, after thousands of combustible in the human organism, hybridizing experiments, sugar cane is makes no work for the stomach, the an eighteen-month crop. Where the liver or the blood stream before it is West Indies growers harvest from Jan assimilated. Downright quick energy, ^"" EVES uary to May, the Hawaiians cut and we call it. W ^ ^ VOUR SOOTHES AND REFRESHES PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED Collier's for April 11, 1942 57 Action at Sea Continued from page 22 the first uncomfortable acquaintance Some of the young seamen had with the motion of a corvette in a heavy grinned, and Portingale had rebuked sea, the shuddering crash of green water them savagely. He remembered how that sometimes took him up to his knees they had struggled to get Gilbroath be on the little bridge—and more than low, and left him weeping with the sick- once threw a small flood into the asdic berth attendant sitting on his chest; and room. He remembered the beards they how he, Portingale, had paced the little grew because shaving was impossible bridge that night, whistling for action, —the beards they still wore, even superstitiously, as his father would ashore, especially ashore, as a badge of have whistled for wind. their hard service. And the action came, next morning, All that was far behind. There had under the eyes of a whole convoy. An been months of convoy work. He re asdic contact—a good one, young Reck membered thirty days on end, in the ling swore. Portingale had rung Action famous Western Approaches, herding Stations and signaled "Preparing to at merchantmen in fog and dark and all tack." He remembered the convoy sorts of foul weather, or in bright sun sheering aside in a hurry to give him OAfSMR^JW^ shine when danger was something you room, and the Senior Escort Officer's could almost put out your hand and feel. destroyer tearing back to join action, He remembered the littered sea in and the thrill of firing his first depth those parts, the lifeboats sometimes charges at a definite foe. The cans had atccC (^aa»^k& C^ empty, sometimes full of bullet-riddled made a good pattern, a very exact dia flesh, the rafts, the dead men bobbing mond, with a pair—one light and one soddenly in lifebelts with their heads heavy—at each corner and a pair in the bowed, as if in resignation, and all the middle for luck. other raffle of the unceasing battle. But mostly he remembered the strain, •jLTE REMEMBERED the terrific up- the awful incessant strain that squeezed •^ •'• heaval astern, the towering columns his brain in an all-but-visible cider press of water, the lift and jarof Windlestraw's U/ZcdCt^^- and kept his insides wound up like a stern which rattled all their teeth and spring. Four hours', five hours' sleep out broke the sanitary pump, and his sharp Have your spark plugs cleaned and adjusted of the twenty-four, for days and weeks command that spun the corvette on her on end. Uneasy sleep, liable to be in heel, running back to plant another lot. every 4,000 miles. (Costs only 5c a plug). terrupted at any moment. Even in port, And after that, the silence, the sea in those blessed spells between patrols, churned to a milk shake by his explo Replace all badly worn plugs promptly. he lay for hours awake in his berth, and sions, and the thin patch of oil that ap his days were filled with a thousand wor peared and spread in colors beautiful as ries and responsibilities. paradise. And particularly he remem There was an antidote for strain. It bered his triumphant signal to the Was action—action against a subma S.E.O., "Got a Hun!" rine, or a raiding Heinkel—anything. He should have known that asdic, Other corvettes had luck like that. frequently denounced as a lady of un Never Windlestraw. Convoys had been certain virtue, could also lie like a gen bombed, but not where Windlestraw tleman. But Reckling had been sure. could fire a shot. Ships had been tor And Portingale had thrust in and ^4Dirty -or worn spark plugs waste as much gas as pedoed, and several times Windlestraw watched the uncanny instrument him had got an asdic contact, a good con self. A beautiful contact; he had never 1 gallon in 10. They also cause hard starting tact—Reckling was sure of it—and ev seen a better, not even in the training ery time the Senior Escort Officer had course, where evers^hing was cut and (bad for batteries!) and loss of power. signalled, "Rejoin convoy" before any dried. And there was the beauty of his thing could be done. depth charge patterns, and finally the oil, plain to be seen. "LIE HAD not minded the strain at first. He remembered the S.E.O.'s silence, •^ He had laughed at it, and waggled and then Raith's opening mouth and his rich black torpedo beard, and vowed lean, accusing finger, and the shattered that this was the life. Now it weighed carcass of a whale slowly breaking sur upon him like a stone. Raith said that face in that pool of its own blood and (iJ/:eAe^ Go to your neigh Windlestraw had a charmed life. An oil. evil charm, said Portingale. He was It might have happened to anyone. borhood Registered AC Spark thirty, and his wife in her last letter had But it had to be him, Portingale the said how well he looked in his Glas cocksure, and the convoy howled. He Plug Cleaning Station. Look for gow photograph—"and, darling, what a remembered the quips that passed by handsome beard!"—^when he felt like flag and blinker from ship to ship of this Sign. a broken old man. the escort. He had quipped back, of It wasn't himself alone, either. He course; it was part of the give and take could see the mark of these months in of naval humor, where no man asked or every face aboard. He felt a certain offered mercy. Savage pity for them, the prairie flow But now the tale was going the ers, the poor fresh-water devils. They rounds. In wardrooms all over the North couldn't stand the gaff as he could, even Atlantic they were spinning the yarn though he carried on his big shoulders of Portingale's submarine, and what the burden of the whole ship. He won the S.E.O. had said about it. They dered which would be the first to go. were telling it over tall drinks in the But Goswill, the blue-water man, was hotels of Glasgow and Liverpool and -y-^x^/;^ _j^ the first. Rheumatic fever, the sick- Derry and other places where men from berth attendant thought. They carried the Western Approaches blew them ffeep 'em ROLLINO' him ashore at the first port, grinning selves to dinners after long patrols. It wryly and swearing he'd be back in a was the current jest of Halifax. And in k SPARK PLUCS^ • month, and Barnadine, a Wavy sub the officers' club at Reykjavik they were lieutenant, came in his place. And one calling him Jonah Portingale, the man Do Your Part day, only a month back, somewhere in who swallowed the whale. thirty west, with a dirty cross sea Buy Defense Bonds threatening to roll the funnel out of her, •PHROUGH the porthole he could see and a bitter wind from Iceland shrieking •'• the steep rock wall of the fiord. Raith through the corvette's stays and aerials, and Hogarty were up there somewhere, poor old Gilbroath had appeared on climbing like goats for exercise. They deck, dressed in his best shoregoing had invited him to go along, but he'd duds and carrying a packed valise, an refused, just as he refused to go with nouncing quietly that he was going Barnadine and Reckling to dinner ashore for a rest, and would they kindly aboard one of the Yank destroyers an AC SPARK PLUG DIVISION lower the gangway and call a taxi. chored down the fiord. He wanted General Motors Corporation PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED 58 Collier's ior April 11, 1942 neither exercise nor cheerful company. The corvette followed up Reckling's A nice pattern. Now for another one. Tomorrow the eternal round would start contact at full speed. Portingale's mind Vaguely, beyond the collapsing wa again, Windlestraw to join an east- was busy on the dozen-and-one things ter columns, Portingale observed a flash bound convoy, the Yank and her lean that confront a commander at such a and a bang from the steamer to star gray sisters heading west. He went to moment. His own speed and course, the board. He knew what it was. This stunt his cabin and threw himself on his berth. courses and speeds of the agitated mer of rocketing a fighter plane into the air He heard the return of the duty boat, chantmen on either side, and their dis from a freighter's deck had been up its exhaust echoed thunderously in the tances from him and from one another; setting at first, because the explosion A SPECIAL enormous silence of the cliffs. Before the whereabouts of the S.E.O. and his and the simultaneous appearance of a long Raith and Hogarty were aboard, destroyer, of the other destroyers and low-flying plane made you think of an red-cheeked and weary, swearing they corvettes of the escort, of the Yanks attack by Hun aircraft. But you got had seen a cow—a cow in Iceland, by hull-down astern. used to it. He could see a bit of the PREPARATION gad! And later on he heard a clink of He looked to see that the depth- plane's wing disappearing behind the glasses in the wardroom, and young charge crews were at their posts aft, smoke. Windlestraw was on the reverse Reckling's voice: "You missed a good and at the port and starboard projectors, course now, and Reckling clutching his FOR SHAVING dinner, Raith—you and your cliffs. Af and—more from instinct than anything Fire button ready for another pattern. terward we had a fine rag in their else—to make sure that the pom-pom Ahead, the convoy was closing up wardroom—no drinks, of course, their crew were standing by, and the machine beautifully. Nothing like the woomp of ships are dry, did you know that?— guns ready at the bridge wings. Ho a depth charge to get 'em into line. FOR THE 1 MAN IN 7 but plenty of tomfoolery to pass the garty was watching the forward gun time. A good bunch of fellas. crew as a mother watches a child. A S RECKLING poised his thumb on WHO SHAVES DAILY "Somebody had an accordion and we Inside, Reckling plied pencil on pa •**• the button for another batch of cans, sang a good deal. They insisted on sing per, consulted asdic, consulted the there was a startled yell aft, and the ing Rule Britannia out of compliment hydrophone operator and called out di sound of the airplane was suddenly loud, It Needs No Brush to us, so we came back with Columbia rections aloud. As high priest of the was terrific, was filling the whole world. the Gem of the Ocean, not to be out oracles he practically commanded the Portingale looked aft and saw a huge Not Greasy or Sticky done. And we ended up with—what ship when a sub had been spotted, and shape swooping around his stern at d'you think?—sea chanteys. They sing the boy felt his importance. He pressed practically eye level. Modern life now demands at least the same ones we do, and pretty much the signal button which warned the "S'truth! It's a Focke-Wulf! Look 1 man in 7 shave every day. This as we do, except for the Drunken Sailor. depth-charge crews to stand by, and out!"—that was his thought, but there daily shaving often causes razor Y'know how we sing it: te, te-te-te, te- then the indicator button which told was no time to say anything. The anti scrape—irritation. te-te, tum-ta-te? Well, they go, turn, them to set their detonators for such- aircraft gun broke into a startled pom To help men solve this problem, tum-tum-tum, tum-tum-ta, te-ta- and-such a depth. His hard young face pom-pom; but you couldn't sight a we perfected Glider—a rich, sooth tum—" stared down at asdic, but Portingale pom-pom—or anything else—on a thing ing cream—not greasy or sticky. Portingale snorted and kicked his was not watching Reckling's face; he moving as fast as that. Not without door shut. Reckling fancied himself as was watching the boy's thumb on the warning, you couldn't. The thing had SMOOTHS DOWN SKIN a singer. Probably he'd told the Yanks Fire button. Thought Portingale, "He's come out of the sun, and for a split sec You first wash your face thoroughly they didn't sing it properly. Reckling, sure of himself, at any rate. It's all right ond cast its immense shadow over with hot water and soap to remove the prairie flower—and the Yanks prob for him, of course. The Old Man's the Windlestraw like the shadow of death grit and the oil from the skin that ably blue-water men! goat if the thing's a foozle. Jonah— collects on whiskers every 24 hours. itself. Then spread on Glider quickly and Jonah Portingale!" In that split second Portingale was easily with your fingers. Never a •THEY sailed in the morning—not that The thumb moved slightly, and at aware of a number of things. Queer, brush. Instantly Glider smooths down *• "morning" meant very much in this once the after crew let go two cans, a how fast your mind could work in a the flaky top layer of your skin. It latitude where the summer sun sat up heavy and a light. Windlestraw swept time like this. In the first place, he enables the razor's edge to glide over most of the night—and Windlestraw on. Calculating nicely—because the knew that Jerry was staging a daring your skin, cutting your whiskers close took post near the rear of the center and clean without scraping or irritat corvette's speed would throw the side plane-and-sub attack in broad daylight, ing the skin. line. The Yank destroyers pulled hook cans ahead a bit—Reckling signaled right under the noses of the shore a little later and kept station astern for Fire to the port and starboard projector 'dromes. The big Focke-Wulf had shot ESPECIALLY FOR THE I MAN IN a time before heading west with a crews. The firing charges barked in the out of the sun and planted an egg square 7 WHO SHAVES DAILY flicker of dot-and-dash farewells. little mortars, and out flew the deadly on the freighter to starboard. Then he For men in responsible positions— They were down in the wardroom cans on either side. Now another pair haddipped low and banked, to avoid the doctors, lawyers, businessmen and shaking the dice for gins before lunch, over the stern, and after an exact inter hell of antiaircraft fire that was sure others who must shave every day— with Reckling on the bridge, when the val a final pair to make the diamond to come up at him. And now the cun Glider is invaluable. It eliminates the alarm bells rattled with a vicious sud complete. ning devil was skimming around Win dangers frequent shaving may have denness. Portingale sprang for the All eyes were astern, where suddenly dlestraw's stern, knowing that the for the tender face and leaves your skin smoother, cleaner. Glider has bridge with Raith, Hogarty and Barna- the sea spewed up five giant columns of corvette couldn't do any duck shooting been developed by The J. B. Williams dine close on his heels. He could hear water and smote Windlestraw's body on the level—not with ships to port and Co., who have been making fine shav the men cheering, as they always did, and bones with mighty hammer blows. starboard. The roar of its motors deaf- ing preparations for over 100 years. going to action stations. He had tried to cure them of it, without success. TRY A TUBE AT OUR EXPENSE Topside, the asdic operator was on We're so positive that Glider will give his stool, intent over the instruments, 'ou more shaving comfort than any- and Reckling standing beside him cry ing you've ever used that we'll send you a generous tube ABSOLUTELY FREE. ing out, "Contact, sir!" Just send your name and address to There was a funny little silence. Then The J.B.Williams Co., Dept. EG-0,5, Portingale said meaningly, "A good Glastonbury, Conn. On this FREE one?" trial test, we rest our case entirely. "Perfect, sir. Come and look!" Don't delay—.send in a penny post "I'll take your word for it," Portin card today! Offer good in U. S. A. and Canada only. gale uttered grimly. "But try for a hydrophone contact before we do any thing rash." He stood at the forward bridge screen, running an eye over the sea. It was choppy, with a stiff breeze flirting spray from the crests; hard to spot a peri scope quickly in that. Still, a Hun wasn't likely to attack in broad day light so close to the land. But you never could tell. You couldn't take chances. TYPEWRITER Better another dead whale, or a school of codfish blown to smithereens, than a freighter torpedoed right under your Proves Wonderful nose. It was typical of Portingale that he did not think of danger to Windle straw herself. It wouldn't do to think For Itching Skin of that—not with all those fuel tanks To soothe itching, burning skin, apply and magazines under you. medicated liquid ZE MO—a Doctor's A quick low voice within, and then formula backed by 30 years continu ous success! For ringworm symptoms, Reckling shouting out to him, "Hy eczema, athlete's foot or blemishes drophone contact now, sir. Engines— due to external cause, apply ZBMO unmistakable." He added a course. freely. Soon the discomfort should Portingale snapped to the signalman, disappear. Over 25,000,000 packages "Hoist 'Preparing to attack.' " sold. One trial convinces. Only 35;!. The flags went up, snapping in the "One by one they started helping us, and the Also 60ji and $1.00. ,_ _, _ _ -^ cold wind, and at once the merchant next thing we knew we were back here!" RODNEY DE SARRO »^ZEIVIO ships began to sheer off on either side. PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED A.FTE. R all. Time is the only real master accumulated skill and experience have Today, for the sixth time in a national craftsman. gone into every Studebaker than into any emergency, the vast Studebaker plants are Generations have lived and died to make other car. producing war equipment on a large scale. that watch of yours keep good time. The But now, with war raging all over the Unlimited quantities of airplane engines, trusted airplanes of today, glinting in the world, Studebaker has stopped building cars military trucks and other materiel are mov sky, were born in the brain of Leonardo da —and, along with other automobile manu ing from production line to firing line to Vinci, five centuries ago. And your automo facturers, has accepted the responsi assure America's victory. We at Stude BUY bile dates back to the time when primitive bility of giving America the greatest out DEFENSE baker are proud of our assignments in man hewed crude wheels out of logs. put of military equipment ever known. BONDS the arming of our United States! Yes—what we make today is the result of what we learned yesterday, and through long, hard millions of yesterdays. Studebaker has more yesterdays to draw on than any other company in the automo bile industry—for over 90 years we have been creating quality transportation. This means —it must mean —that more PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED 60 Collier's for April 11, 1942 ened them all as it came along Windle- wheelhouse windows and gave the or straw's starboard side, steeply banked, der to change course. one wing tip almost touching water and Reckling's voice came out to him: the other high and black against the sky "But the submarine, sir—^we've only like the steeple of a church. begun—" "Orders," said Portingale. Everybody had forgotten the sub He jerked a thumb over his blood-sod marine—Portingale, and Number One, den shoulder. "The Yanks'U take care and Hogarty, the pom-pom crew, the of your bloomin' submarine." He four-inch crew, the machine gunners grinned as he said it, and the grin firing wildly from the bridge wings. Ev cracked the dried blood on his cheek. erybody but the men in the wheel- Reckling, like all asdic enthusiasts, con house and the asdic room. There the sidered the ships of other nations blind, helmsman was still at his post although, deaf and senseless. hearing the roar of the diving plane, he His mind was clearing famously as ARE YOU YOUR might have dived into the little steel Windlestraw rushed to get up-sun from kennel behind the wheel, put there to the destroyer. Evidently the S.E.O. ex shelter him in such moments. Barna- pected further air attack. "Casualties?" OWN FIFTH COLUMNIST? dine was still bending grimly over his he muttered to Raith. chart. Reckling's gaze was still upon "Seven busted ribs among the pom 4y "OitH. lf/&to^ asdic, and his potent thumb had al pom crew. Some of the depth-charge ready dropped two cans over the stern. men badly bruised and shaken up. For Do you sabotage your personal chance? No, 1000 times no—not even if It was a study in discipline, and after ward gunner with a bloody nose; and ward Portingale was fond of painting there's yourself, sir: nasty scalp wound, attractiveness with underarm per Mum were 81 a jar, which it isn't—not by a long shot. that picture of them. that." spiration short wave broadcasts? And your own nose is no test. You may "Look here," blurted Portingale. Men will never be so scarce in this be a veritable one-man zoo and never know VrOW—just as all hell seemed to "What d'you make of all this?" world that people will want ANY it. You just have to sense this offense in •••^ be falling somewhere aft—Reckling "Hanged if I know, sir. The thing others and figure that there, but for the BODY around who is careless about pressed his button for the port and star- blew up, I guess. All by itself." grace of baths and Mum, go yoiil ijoard projectors. And the faithful men this one thing. Women friends, sweet "The pom-pom was firing." Baths take care of the past, but even at the projectors jerked their lanyards, "Yes, sir, they chucked up half a hearts, employers and business pros shortly after a bath, you may be a per and the heavy cans flew out. dozen rounds—all wild. The thing was pects may well cease to be such. spiration villain, unless you cinch your The man at the port projectors saw close enough—and big enough. But it cleanliness with Mum. Mum works for I don't say that Mum will put you ward—for a whole day or an evening. his cans make their usual arc into the came without warning, like a bat out of sea. But the starboard view was blocked hades—faster than the pom-pom boys over socially or in business, Mum is a pleasant cream in a could move. Same story with the ma jar, easy to dab under each arm by the hurtling apparition of the Focke- but I do swear that if you are Wulf, and a terrific flash and explosion chine gunners. Yes, that's it. It all guilty of the offense which after your bath and before eve nings out. knocked the men at the starboard pro happened faster than a man could move Mum can prevent—you are as —or think." Does not stop perspiration, irri jectors flat and breathless. It did the OUT with most people as a tate skin or injure shirts. same for the men at the after depth- Windlestraw drew up-sun from the man with perpetual smallpox. In Winter as well as Summer, charge ramps. It knocked the crew of destroyer, and the S.E.O. stopped and Can you, frankly, play safe with Mum. See your the pom-pom off their feet and stirred smartly lowered a boat. They watched .if "^, afford to take this druggist. them all up together in their armored it pull over to the steamer, which was cup like so many beans in a pot. It still smoking blackly, though the fire smashed the starboard boat in its davits. seemed to be confined to the forward It blew two ventilators out of their stays hold. Her crew had made no effort to MUM TAKES THE ODOR OUT OF PERSPIRATION and overboard. It stripped the sand- lower their boats. They were fighting padded screens from the starboard wing fire. Good lads, thought Portingale. of the bridge. It broke all the wheel- Things like that made you proud to own house windows, and a flying sliver of your origin in the merchant service. glass cut the helmsman's bearded cheek There was no monopoly on guts in this to the bone. man's war. The seamen at the starboard machine The convoy had pushed on, with the gun had ducked instinctively into the rest of the escort, leaving the steamer FOR handy cruciform shelter, and were mi and the destroyer and Windlestraw to raculously unharmed. But Portingale, settle their own affair. Portingale smiled BRIGHTER PARTIES Raith and Hogarty were flung into a wryly. You couldn't help feeling a bit heap and stunned. lonely when you dropped behind with Portingale dragged himself to his feet a lame duck. But now a sudden woomp- USE •*v by clawing at the rags of the bridge woomp-woomp of depth charges to screens. His head sang like a factory westward told him there was company. &'' whistle and he was aware of blood run ning down his face and dripping from •LIE TURNED and Saw the Yank de- BRfGHTE?^ his beard. He wiped it out of his eyes. •*• •*• stroyers racing back and forth, drop A signalman ran up to him crying some ping cans with a savage science that thing, with a hand on his arm. He shook seized his admiration, not unmixed with the hand off angrily. He didn't want regret. Then it was a sub, and Reckling help—not he, not Orton Portingale! had been right. The Yanks wouldn't weSTiWGHous^^ He stumbled over to the side, to see drop cans just on somebody else's say- if the old girl was still under way. She so. They'd picked up the sub with their was—at full speed, too, by the look of own asdics—or whatever it was they it. He was turning away when he saw, used—^and were raising their own par MAZPA tAr^**'; just astern and to starboard, the tail of ticular hell. an aircraft—a big tail—sticking out of He looked at the freighter again. The the sea and going slowly down. It went smoke was diminishing fast, and now a under as he stood there, gasping and blinker flickered busily on the destroyer. fascinated, steadying himself with a "S.E.O. to Windlestraw. Return to hand on the rigid plates of the cruciform convoy. Ship's engines intact and fire shelter. Instinctively he looked ahead, under control. Make full report to me and saw the Yank destroyers coming up later regarding aircraft shot down." fast toward him. They had turned back Portingale rang full ahead himself. at the sound of his depth charges. His head was aching. He thought sud Again the signalman's voice, cracked denly of the forgotten lunch—and the Ji. and urgent: "Message from the S.E.O., gins. He made his voice very matter- sir." Portingale stared down at the of-fact: "Let's go down to lunch. I scrawl confusedly. He could taste blood think we could all do with a drink. Let in his mouth, and somebody was stand one watch go too, Number One. There's ing behind him, winding a bandage no sign of other aircraft. A lone Wulf, around his head. I guess." "S.E.O. to Windlestraw. Abandon sub He laughed thinly at his own joke. attack. Cover me while I put fire party In the wardroom young Reckling aboard bombed ship." burst out urgently, "The Yanks have got He looked astern and to port, and saw our sub—well, good luck to 'em. But Westinghouse an ominous column of smoke rising what a pity for you, sir. I mean, if any "-io. from the smitten freighter, and, up-sun man deserves a mention, you do—after a bit, the S.E.O.'s destroyer standing by. all these hard months." Carefully, with the jerky movements of "Ah!" said Portingale. "Then let me MAZDA LAMPS a tin toy, he walked to the 'shattered tell you, I can get a mention if we care PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED Collier's for April 11, 194S «1 to lie low. The S.E.O. thinks we shot ling, that's all. He took that damn' whale 1 down that Focke-Wulf—and a Focke- to heart, y'know—worse than I did. He Wulf s very good business." wanted so badly to vindicate himself, Their brows shot up comically, and and there was his chance, and we had Raith laughed. to drop it." "The joke of it is," added Portingale "Fortune of war," murmured Num harshly, "—^we did! That plane ran ber One. He added, "What are you go smack into the cans from the starboard ing to say about the plane, sir? You'll projector—in mid-air—and detonated have to say something. You'll have to one and perhaps both of 'em. I saw one explain why half the Hun's instrument go, anyhow, before I was knocked gal board is now stuck in a great hole in ley-west. Something to tell your grand Wiridy's funnel, and twelve feet of his children. But I'm not telling the S.E.O. wing wrapped round the pom-pom plat This S.E.O.'s a nice old boy, he stood form. And the thing that conked you me a dinner in Reykjavik; but apart was the beggar's radio set. An inch from that he's a stiff old dug-out, R.N. lower and—" I can hear him now, givin' me a lecture "I'm the only man aboard who saw on depth charges and the reasons why what happened," said Portingale calmly. a detonator set for fifty fathoms "I've told you—but that's a matter be couldn't possibly explode in mid-air. I tween us, now and forever. I'll report can see the letter he'd write recom- to the S.E.O. the only truth you can mendin' my relief, and an examination swear to—^that the Hun was on us be by a nerve specialist, and six months' fore the pom-pom could get going, and leave in a quiet area—Canada, maybe. that he blew up from a cause unknown No, boys, it's too preposterous." while shavin' our starboard side. That's "It's a preposterous damn' war," ob good enough. I tell you I'm thoroughly jected Raith warmly. happy about the whole thing. It's the "Ah, yes. Any other man could tell luck-—don't you see? The luck's turned. that tale and get away with it. But not Things are comin' Windy's way at last me—not Jonah Portingale. Can't you —and I wouldn't swap her for any imagine what they'd be sayin' in every thing, not even a destroyer. I'll tell you wardroom from here to Halifax? That something else. I wouldn't swap my man Portingale—Jonah Portingale, the crew of wavies for any men on earth. man who swallowed the whale—has By gad, I'm proud to live in the same now, if you please, knocked down a ship with 'em. But we're forgettin' the plane with a depth charge! Nothing do drinks. Pick up your glasses and drink ing!" a toast with me—to the Royal Cana "Oh, come, sir," Hogarty said—but dian Naval Volunteer Reserve—the he grinned. Wavy navy—and long may they wave!" Portingale grinned back. He was ab surdly happy. The preposterous blast •pHE glasses clinked and a moment which ruined the Focke-Wulf had in •'• later Portingale's tiger, coming along the same breath blown all the dead with a tray, was astonished to hear his weight of the past months from his officer in song with the others. Portin shoulders. His head still sang from the gale was not a singing man. But it was blow, but the strain was utterly gone. the song that really startled the tiger. It was marvelous. Actually he felt It was a jingle that had come out of one young again—not thirty, he would never of the corvettes on the Iceland patrol. feel thirty again—but five-and-thirty, It went to the tune of a Western ditty say. He went on coolly, "Too bad we that had to do with covered wagons— had-to leave the sub. A D.S.O.'s a nice not ships—but it had caught on like a ribbon to swank ashore. I might have prairie fire: got another half stripe, even. But, be lieve it or not, I don't care a hoot. I "Roll along, Wavy Navy, roll along. don't care a hoot about the plane, either. Roll along, Wavy Navy, roll along; A Focke-Wulf's too big a feather for a If they ask you who you are. cap my size. My head's not so swelled You're the R.C.N.V.R.— as it used to be. No, I'm sorry for Reck Roll along. Wavy Navy, roll along.'" Wing Talk Continued from page 8 house organ published monthly for the swift single-seater fighters and go forth employees of Boeing Aircraft Company to war with a minimum of military and by the public relations department, has naval indoctrination, we'll take a closer created a character named Oxnard A. look at the roster. Fumblethumb, Esq., who typifies the Of the grand total, about 1,600 are type of employee we've been talking' multimotored airline pilots, who are about. In each issue the adventures of sorely needed where they are. A little Fumblethumb are portrayed. The lat more than 15,000 are commercial pilots est shows him utilizing the pliers from whose experience extends from 200 his tool kit as a fork for a slingshot and hours to many thousands. The largest having much fun shooting rivets at the pilot group in the 100,000 total is repre necks of conscientious employees. sented by the private pilots, who num Another big aircraft company has just ber 84,000. Most of these are graduates announced a contest for a name for the of the Civilian Pilot Training Program not-so-typical employee. He is de and they won their tickets by flying 35 scribed as the guy who takes short cuts to 50 hours solo. on established production methods and But in this large group of private then gets into deep trouble; the guy who pilots there are many experienced sports doesn't remember the factory rules. If man pilots who prefer the private classi a plane comes off the line with two left fication to avoid the obligations of wings, it is his fault. He is the plant's renewal and physicals imposed on com Today's High Cigarette Prices needn't version of Flying Cadet Knucklehead. mercial airmen, because they fly only bother you! Modern KING SIZE We'll try to remember to let you know for pleasure. Then there are 3,200 how the contest came out. women pilots, of which 184 are com BEECH-NUTS cost you less per pack mercial and the remainder private. —yet you can't buy a finer cigarette TT IS most reassuring to learn that we From the foregoing, neither you, nor at any price! They're extra-long, ^ have more than 100,000 civilians in this I nor the Axis can figure out to the exact country who can fly. Three years ago we head just how many seasoned, experi extra-smooth, extra-easy on your had 23,000. But to avoid a false impres enced airmen and women we do have on throat. Try BEECH-NUTS, today! sion that at any time these 100,000 can civil status suitable for combat work or hop into heavy and medium bombers or behind-the-lines flying duty. F. R. N. PRODUCT Of P. LORIUARD COMPANY PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED 62 Collier's lor April 11, 1942 Four-and-Twenty Cobblers Continued from page 12 a port glass. He possessed a sort of ex There were few tasks he liked less tra sense which, but only at odd times, than that of taking stock of another enabled him to read from a man's eyes man's private possessions, made pa what that man was thinking. Such a thetic, and in a sense sacred, by the seal message had just reached him from of death. It approached sheer inde Dawney; it was this; "I believe Major cency. But he went on with it and pres de Maura was murdered." ently found himself considering a "I take it"—the bimbSshi seemed to parade of shoes, lined up two deep in be thinking aloud—"that the message, a cupboard. Clearly Major de Maura and its strange effect, gave you the idea had iseen a shoe fancier: the bimbfishi that there had been foul play?" counted ten pairs. Another pair lay un der a chair beside the bed, and near by pOLONEL DAWNEY stared and said: he saw some red Persian slippers. ^ "I don't know how you knew, but For a long time Bimb§shi BarQk con you're right. It startled the poor devil sidered the rows of shoes, wondering in like an electric shock, with the queer what way they differed from other result I have mentioned. I assume his shoes. They were unusually small, cer reaction to have been one of urgency; tainly, but it was not until he picked a sudden, uncontrollable desire to get one up and compared it with his own away—presumably from Gabriel Varez: that he grasped the real difference. The hence his words, 'My shoes.' " heels were all but an inch taller than "Was he undressed?" normal. De Maura, a man below aver "Yes; they found him in bed. But age height, had been anxious to add to my idea wasn't based on the message his stature. entirely. Charlton—he's one of the Nearly an hour elapsed before Bim- M.O.'s here—came on duty soon after bfishi Barak came downstairs and bade :^9 de Maura died. It was he who phoned Mrs. Saunders good night. He had dis me just now. Charlton spent some covered nothing of importance. True, years in South America; and although the bimbSshi knew, now, that Major de I'm inclined to think that the patient's Maura had had no visitors on Satur nationality and the mysterious mes day, but had gone out to mail corre sage inspired his theory, Charlton in spondence shortly after seven o'clock, Gee, he must drink HEMO—Borden's new way to drink your vitamins sists that de Maura didn't die of tetanus returning before eight; that he was a and like 'emi at all—" chronic amorist; that he dyed his hair; "What's that?" Bimbishi BarOk's that he had been involved in a local Copyright. ] 942—Th» Borden Company sleepy blue eyes woke up. "Then of intrigue; that he had expensive taste what did he die?" in cigars and a streak of sadism in his "According to Charlton, of curare character; together with one or two poisoning." other trivial facts. "Curare poisoning?" But as he walked on through the ''I have never come across a case my darkness, BimbSshi Barfik found him self, but I understand that the S3anp- self saying aloud, "My shoes." He said toms are similar, except that the onset it in a variety of ways, pronouncing the is sudden and the end more swift. A two words with subtle intonations, so For Tender mere touch, of course, is sufficient to do that a number of motives might have the trick with curare—and there was inspired them. But "My shoes" re that tiny pinprick on his finger. Point morselessly haunted him, until at last Bleeding Gums is, B.B., that if it was, as Charlton be he pulled up, turned, and went back. lieves, curare, the case goes very deep The immediate outcome of his second indeed." visit to Mrs. Saunders (from which he "What is curare? Is it something one brought away a pair of shoes wrapped can buy at a druggist's?" in newspaper) was a phone call to Colo It cleans, stimulates and relieves Colonel Dawney laughed. "Don't be nel Dawney. ... ' a fool. It's an alkaloid found in the ex "Hullo, Colonel. Barflk here. I be tract of some South American tree and lieve you are right about de Maura. principally used as an arrow poison. Looks like an amsizingly clever mur Next to unobtainable." der. I'm afraid I shall have to glance IF WAR PRIORITIES "That fact rather narrows down the over the body. You seem to have missed inquiry, don't you think? If you really something. Will it be troubling you?" have reduced your income— think that there's anything underlying Why not try our plan to increase your income as a Com this business, I should be glad—if it N THE following morning, BimbSshi munity Subscription Representative for this magazine? would relieve your mind, I mean—to O BarQk set out on a tour of cobblers' For full details, just mail a penny postal now to— look into it." shops in and around Lychgate. His rou Independent Agency Division, Desk C-37 Colonel Dawney smiled his gratitude. tine was as follows: The CrowelUCollier Publishing Company "Thanks, B.B. I should naturally have "Good morning. My friend Major de 250 Park Avenue, New York, N. Y. hesitated to suggest such a thing; but Maura left a pair of shoes to be re —I'll have Mrs. Saunders called up . . ." paired. Are they ready?" On learning from one that Major de TUTAJOR DE MAURA had apartments Maura was not a customer, he inquired *• '• forming a suite, accessible from a the name of another. In this manner side entrance. The sitting room offered he had made six futile calls when some no useful evidence. Mrs. Saunders, a body suggested that he might try Mr. AMERKBNS'l CHOKE hushed little woman who looked fragile, Stickle. The name sounded faintly fa the bimbfishi had dismissed from the miliar, but although Mr. Stickle's estab inquiry, although, if one were to accept lishment proved to be not more than as authentic a spacious and gaily col three hundred yards from the White ored photograph of the late Mr. Saun Hart, he had no small difficulty in, ^I^ERY OLD T\WW ders which hung above a bureau, her finding it. survival became a minor mystery. It The cottage, an eighteenth-century KNO\NS 100 Proof exhibited a gentleman who wore a well- survival like the inn, had a rusty red Bottled in Bond nourished but angry mustache and a roof, diamond-paned windows, and it ^OOD OLD GUCKtHHtM^*^ Masonic apron, a gentleman whose hyp was smothered in sweet brier, now jew notic glare would have frightened any eled richly with scarlet berries. A brick one to death, the bimbSshi thought, with path, worn in the center so as to re the possible exception of W. E. Glad semble a shallow ditch, led from gate stone. to porch. Above this porch appeared THE AMERICAN A row of textbooks in English, French, a sign which stated: German and Spanish lay on the bureau. DISTILLING COMPANY, INC. The bimbSshi glanced at them and went Jeremiah Stickle into the bedroom. This he found in Shoemaker Pekin, III. • Philadelphia, Pa. • Sausallto, Cal. wild disorder. Established 1739 PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED Collier's for April 11, 1942 63 And, cross-legged on a bench inside He laughed as though he had scored the front window, so that he commanded a point. "Maybe you think Dr. Allar a view of the path, was seated at his dyce stole them shoes? Likely, too, I'd last none other than the little red man say!" He chuckled until his spectacles who had a voice like a macaw. The threatened to fall off. bimbashi entered. "But why has Dr. Allardyce a key?" "Good morning," he said. "My friend "Cause I never ask for it to be give Major de Maura left a pair of shoes to up. When I were layin' in me bed here be repaired. Are they ready?" with me bronchitis last spring, Dr. Al Jeremiah Stickle took some nails out lardyce have a key made to come in an' of his mouth. "Collected 'em hisself out. Stay best part o' one night along on Friday mornin'," he squeaked. o' me, too. Aye, there ain't another "H'm." The bimbashi looked puz doctor in Lychgate would have did it. I zled. "You mean of course a pair of challenge you to find one. That's what brown shoes with perforated white up I calls a real doctor. Always droppin' pers—sometimes known as 'corespond in for a chat, too, friendly like—" ent's' shoes?" "I see," said the bimbashi. "Does Dr. "I do—and he had 'em Friday Allardyce live near here?" mornin'. Punctual I am and knows me "Heath House. That's where Dr. Al trade." lardyce live." He took up the notice "So I gather," said the bimbashi. "Back in ten minutes," and: "Would "While you were amusing yourself at there be any objection to me goin' along the White Hart on Thursday night, to the White Hart for me pint?" he who was in charge here?" inquired. "Amusin' myself!" Mr. Stickle's beard almost audibly crackled. "Let me "LTEATH HOUSE, tendrils of creeper tell you something, mister. Nobody •" running like veins across its weather- can't get me out of a night—nobody. beaten face, challenged the Heath in But Thursday night were a challenge. rather forbidding silence. On a brass I never refuses a challenge. If there's plate beside the gate appeared: a champion shoemaker around these parts, I reckon everybody knows where Julian Allardyce F.R.C.P. (Edin.) to find him. But"—his voice assumed Dr. M. Allardyce. A trim, grim and elderlj' Scotswoman opened the door to Bimbashi Baruk. He was presently shown upstairs and left in a well-appointed study, both win dows of which commanded extensive views of Lychgate Heath. He had waited no more than a minute, when one of three doors opened, a man who wore a long white coat came in; and the $^ bimbashi felt the impact of a powerful personality. MILWAUKEE S MOST EtQU I S ITt BEEP "Good morning, Major Baruk. I un derstand that you wish to see me." "Dr. Allardyce?" SLATZ BRfWING CO., MILWAUKEE, WIS. "Julian Allardyce, at your service." Julian Allardyce was tall, of a lean but athletic build of which his visitor approved; clean-shaven, with abundant How to Get silvering hair brushed back from a fine brow. His gray eyes were steady in their regard and he would have been strik Out of a ingly handsome if the bridge of a strong, straight nose had not been broken at some time. its most pathetic squeak—"I wish I "My call concerns one of your pa Mental Rut knowed who done it." tients—" "Who was here while you were out?" "I do not practice, sir, although I hold LET GOOD AND WORTHWHILE "Nobody. I lives by meself. When I a medical degree." He had a light, vi READING POINT THE WAY TO goes out for a pint I puts this here board brant voice and at times a somewhat YOUR SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS up what says, 'Back in ten minutes.' arrogant academic manner. "I am em desires it. The cost per volume is one- The other night there wasn't no board ployed in research work." Another of third that of a book of current fiction. For HAT are the real joys of living? Do as little as $2.00, you may have the com —but I got a good lock and all the win the three doors opened and a woman you devote yourself to the material dows was fastened." W plete beautiful set of fifty volumes shipped came in. Julian Allardyce extended a pleasures to the exclusion of the intel to you with all carrying charges prepaid. "Had anything been disturbed when large, capable hand. "This is Dr. Al lectual pleasures? If you do, you miss the you returned?" lardyce." very essence of living—the stimulating, in OUR FAMOUS BOOK FREE "Course nothing had been disturbed. Bimbashi Baruk turned, and was spiring joys of reading. To read, to grow Who'd disturb it?" about to say something about "your in mental stature, to walk expectantly with The fascinating book, "Fifteen Minutes a "When did you finish work on the daughter," but his nimble wit stepped the great thinkers—these constitute the Day," containing eighty pages, furnishes you shoes?" on his tongue in the nick of time: he real joys of living. complete information about this marvelous "Thursday afternoon. Half-heelin' contended himself with a formal bow. set. It describes Dr. Eliot's own plan of were the job. He has extra high heels "Major Barilk wishes to see you NOT BY BREAD ALONE reading and contains dramatic biographies and wears 'em down accordin'." about one of your patients, Marian." of men whose immortal writings appear in "Who, except you, could have known Julian Allardyce bowed slightly to the Nothing gives to mankind greater satis The Harvard Classics. This book is beauti when the shoes were finished and when faction than good reading—the reading fully illustrated and is a gem of literature. iDimbashi. "This is my wife. And now, that makes a greater measure of a man, they were to be called for?" no doubt you will excuse me, sir, as I It will be sent you free, postpaid and with "Anybody who knowed me methods. that builds a man educationally to an out obligation. Simply send us your name am engaged upon work of some ur equal basis with his business and social Lots of people drops in for a talk like. gency." and address today on coupon below. Any of 'em could have knowed." associates. Good reading makes the well- He went out. rounded man and brings to him a realiza "Name some of these people." "Won't you sit down. Major Baruk?" tion of the finest things in life. DR. ELIOrS FIVE-FOOT Mrs. Allardyce spoke in quiet, cultured TWrR. STICKLE scratched under his and musical tones. Dr. Charles W. Eliot, famous President of SHELF OF BOOKS •'••'• beard. "Well—Tom Payne were in Bimbashi Baruk took a seat in an Harvard University, provided good read (THE HARVARD CLASSICS) We'nsday, I think it were. Then Bill armchair and Mrs. Allardyce on a deep ing in The Harvard Classics, for this Hookey come in Friday. Sam JoUet, the settee placed between two windows. magnificent set brings to you and to me, THIS COUPON ENTITLES constable, he steps in nearly every day The bimbashi wondered how even Jere the pure gold of the world's writings, YOU TO FREE BOOKLET some time." miah Stickle had contrived to gabble which have stimulated and inspired men of P. F. Collier & Son Corporation "Has any of these a key of the door?" for several minutes without betraying all times. 250 Park Ave., New York By mail, free, send me the Book "Key o' the door! I wouldn't trust a the fact that "Dr. Allardyce" was femi let that tells about the most famous library in key o' me door to no livin' man, no, nor nine. He noted that she was dressed FOR ONLY FIFTY CENTS A WEEK the world. Dr. Eliot's Five Foot Shelf of Books (The Harvard Classics) containing "The Men woman neither, nobody livin'—except now in a smart tweed suit, that she was This library, despite its enormous treas Behind the Classics." HMX-735 slight and shapely and her husband's Mr. Dr. Allardyce." ures is not expensive. Its price is within Name Mrs "Why 'except Dr. Allardyce?' " junior by many years. Her dark hair, the means of every American who really Miss "Because Dr. Allardyce have one." in which one might detect faint coppery Address PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED 64 Collier's for April 11, 1942 streaks, had a most intriguing wave. neighborhood—except your husband both studying medicine. I learned then and put to bed. I was terrified. His She wore spectacles, and, smiling, so as and yourself—knows, or knew (a) Ga that what I had mistaken for love was symptoms were those of paralysis. to display small, milky teeth, she re briel Varez; (b) Major de Maura; and no more than an outburst of adolescent "I sent for the nearest doctor—his fa moved the spectacles and laid them be (c) where to obtain this substance— passion. Gabriel taught me this."' ther—and almost lost my reason be side her. which is curare. Furthermore, no one Her eyes glowed as if a somber fire cause he was so long in coming. When "My professional disguise," she ex else, other than Stickle, has a key to burned in the brain behind them; and he arrived, it was already too late. Ga plained. "I have learned that they give Stickle's cottage. No, Mrs. Allardyce, the bimbashi wondered by means of briel's mind was clear, but he had lost patients confidence." I did not receive your telephone mes what arts the dour Scottish scientist the power of speech—" He found himself looking into amber sage, but I believe that it was you who had won the affection of this beautiful, Her composure, which had earned eyes fringed by long, curling lashes, and sent it, and I suggest that it was some turbulent woman. the bimbashi's respectful admiration, he knew that Mrs. Allardyce was a re one in this house who lured Stickle out "To come to the point of my story: threatened to break down, but she con markably beautiful woman; he knew, on Thursday night. I have only one Rafael found Gabriel and myself to quered this weakness and went on: too, that she was not English. question to ask: Why was it done?" gether. There was an unpleasant scene. "Late that night, Hannibal came with "Actually, I am interested in two pa Later, there was worse, when I told him a message from Rafael de Maura. It tients," he replied slowly. "The first •THERE was an interval during which quite plainly that Gabriel knew every was this, which you have seen. He left is Gabriel Varez." ••• amber eyes searched his own, an inter thing about us and that Gabriel and I the room before I had read it, but I ran Mrs. Allardyce watched him steadily; val which the bimbashi knew must de were to be married. Now, you must after him. What is more, I caught him her expression was unfathomable. cide the swing of the pendulum. Then, understand that Rafael's ardor had by —stealing out of the back porch with "I have no patient of that name." Mrs. Allardyce pointed to the armchair no means cooled. He was not yet tired the shoes that Gabriel had worn! In "Shall I say, then, was Gabriel Varez? and returned to her place on the settee. of me; nor would his vanity permit him one of them I found this thorn. . .." She The other is Jeremiah Stickle." "You are a clever man. Major Baruk," to believe that I was tired of him. He replaced it in the box. "Now, I am sure "I have certainly attended Stickle, she said, speaking with perfect com made threats which would have shown you understand that I belong to a hot- but not lately. Is he ill again?" posure. "I salute you. Since you have me—supposing I had not known it al blooded race—I was Mariana Borrego. "Not at all, nor is he of more than found the shoe it would be useless on ready—that I had been infatuated by as I swore a most solemn—as I realized secondary importance. I am chiefly my part to refuse your offer. Scotland callous a ruffian as ever breathed.. .. All later—a most dreadful oath, beside Ga anxious to know why you sent a phone Yard would meet with no difficulty in the same, the next two months were briel's bed, that I would repay." message to Major de Maura on behalf tracing my former relations with Rafael among the happiest of my life. Then She shrugged her shoulders and of Gabriel Varez." de Maura and the identity of Gabriel came the end. If you will excuse me lighted a second cigarette from the stub "You say that / sent such a message?" of the first. "The de Mauras had met The bimbSshi hated his task more and with misfortune. Indeed, we all had. more every minute. His peculiar sys BUTCH By Larry Reynolds Rafael fled to Spain so soon after Ga tem of interrogation called for great briel's death that I had no time to act. moral courage in practice; but he had I went to Buenos Aires and later took outlined the inquiry to Colonel Dawney my degree there. It was during my first in this way: year that I met my husband. He came (1) Definite evidence that curare was as a visiting lecturer from the Liverpool used. This he believed he had secured. School of Tropical Medicine. (2) Somebody who had some or who "Ah, Major Baruk, England seldom could obtain it. In this household he knows her greatest men. Beginning as had found, at least, somebody who could an almost religious respect for a won obtain it and also somebody who could derful intellect, my affection for Julian have had access to de Maura's shoes grew into a love that nothing in life can while they were in Stickle's workshop. ever change—perhaps nothing after "My dear Mrs. Allardyce," he said, ward. If Gabriel had lived, it would "it would be nearly impossible to mis not have been possible, but, Gabriel take your voice." dead, I found in Julian all that I had "My voice?" lost—indeed, more. He does not work "Your words were, 'Please tell Major for profit, nor to aid destruction. He Rafael de Maura that Gabriel Varez is works for human good. He might have with him in spirit.' Your voice is undis- been wealthy, titled, if he wished. He guisable." does not so wish—nor do I." "But you did not—" OHE paused, and the bimbashi noted HE checked herself, dropped protec ''^ that her eyes glowed in a new way. S tive lashes; but it was too late. At He found occasion to reproach himself last, that extra sense of the bimbSshi's for his bad habit of jumping to conclu had awakened. The completed sentence sions. This was not the story as he had reached his brain: it was—"But you did reconstructed it. not take the message." He sighed and "We returned to England, and I set stood up. He was actuely uncomfort up in practice. I was fairly successful. able. He stared out of a window, learn Then, one day—nearly two months ago ing that the cottage of Jeremiah Stickle —I saw Rafael de Maura, and I remem was visible from that point. Then, he bered my"—she hesitated—"solemn ob turned. ligation ; but I made up my mind not to "Let me make my position clear." His tell Julian, as I knew how it would dis voice was gentle, almost apologetic: "I turb him. I saw Rafael going into the hold a sort of warrant, authorizing all Varez. So I will tell you the story, and for a moment, I will show you in what shop of an old patient, Jeremiah Stickle, officers commanding, chief constables you may do as you please. Shall we form it came." and I could not refuse to believe that I and others, to afford me every facility. smoke?" Mrs. Allardyce stood up and went out. had been chosen as an instrument of In point of fact, my present visit is not She offered a cigarette from a box When she returned and resumed her justice. an official one." Mrs. Allardyce rose beside her and took one herself. Bim place on the settee, she handed the bim "My husband is working on a new from the settee and confronted him. bashi Baruk took one also and lighted bashi a faded note. He glanced at it treatment for tetanus: it is based on "Would you care to give me particulars both. He sat down again. and shook his head: it was in Spanish. curare. And I remembered that I had a and leave the result to my conscience, "Am I to suppose from your words. "I will translate for you, Major. It key of Stickle's door! All that remained or do you prefer that I pass the inquiry Major Baruk, that you believe my hus says, 'Please tell Gabriel Varez that I was to get ready and to await another over to the police, with such evidence as band to be concerned?" am with him in spirit. Rafael.' Gabriel visit of Rafael to the shoemaker. I pre I have?" "Not necessarily. I await your story was dying when it came—I nursed him pared a brier thorn, coating it with Her hands had been clenched, but she with an open mind. You spoke of your throughout. And this was the cause of curare from Julian's laboratory and relaxed them. "What evidence have former relations with Rafael de Maura. his death." then fixing a bead of gum on the point you?" she asked coldly. Suppose we begin there?" (as had been done in Gabriel's case) so He took out a small leather box, vel Mrs. Allardyce nodded quietly; her •pROM a wooden box she took a thorn that the scratch would not take place vet-lined: it had formerly held pearl expression grew introspective. . . . •^ fixed to a round wooden plug and until the heat of the foot dissolved the studs. It now contained an odd-look "Rafael de Maura was a member of a held it up for the bimbashi's inspection. gum. This, a bradawl, and a tube of ing object which he handled gingerly. well-known family which owned large "An Opuntia thorn—prickly pear— glue, were all that was necessary. "This thorn—a brier thorn, I think— estates in South America. They ad coated with curare. The de Mauras "I made it my business to call often neatly attached to a wooden peg. It was joined our own. Rafael was handsome, employed an old colored servant, Han on Stickle when passing—for I should inserted in a hole bored between the fascinating, and an experienced woman- nibal, who was widely credited with have known Rafael's shoes at a glance sole and the upper leather of de Maura's hunter, although I did not know it at the being an Obeah man—and such people because of their small size and high right shoe, so that his toe would come time: I was nineteen. But deceived by understand the use of secret poisons. heels. My opportunity came a month in contact with the point. In fact, this all sorts of solemn promises, or perhaps He was utterly devoted to Rafael. I ago—" occurred according to plan, and he re because I was blindly infatuated, I con knew from experience that Hannibal "A month ago?" moved the shoes to learn the cause of sented to his proposals—only to dis could smuggle messages with incredible "Yes, my first opportunity. I discov the trouble. His finger also was pricked cover that he had a devoted wife living cunning; he seemed almost to be able ered that a pair of Rafael de Maura's by the thorn. Now, the case rests like in Buenos Aires. Even this might have to make himself invisible. Gabriel one shoes would be finished on a certain this: failed to cure me completely, if I had evening walked over to see me, and had Wednesday evening—and I gave Stickle "There is a black substance on the not met Gabriel Varez. Gabriel was the scarcely set his foot on the veranda a seat for the local cinema. He blankly thorn; and I suggest that no one in this son of a neighboring doctor and we were when he collapsed, I had him undressed refused to go. I am afraid I got really PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED Collier's for April U, 1942 65 angry. But the attempt had to be given sir, why I hesitated to put an end to up. He declared that nothing would in these preparations for murder. I will duce him to leave the house at night. I answer you in this way: By the com thought over the problem for a week or mon laws of men, de Maura's life was more before a possible solution came forfeit; by the private laws of the Bor- to me: Stickle's professional vanity and regos—of whom my wife is one—it was Cf his love of money. forfeit to her. But I hoped and believed "In the meantime I found out all I that if the attempt should be made, and could about Rafael de Maura. He saw fail, she would consider her duty—for me once, but owing to my 'disguise,' I as a sacred duty she regarded it—to be suppose, failed to recognize me. I dis done. I knew, also, that de Maura was riends! covered the name of the poor little soul soon to be posted elsewhere." p who was risking her happiness to amuse Julian Allardyce sat down beside his him. Beyond saying that she is the wife wife. of a young officer commanding a sub "Forgive my discourtesy. Major. marine in the Mediterranean, I must be Please be seated. 1 cannot know if Romans! silent. Many women would condemn Marian has told you—I overheard only her—but few who had had the mis part of your conversation—but I am en fortune to be hunted by Rafael de gaged upon experiments with a new Maura. antidote for tetanus, a condition which Comptometer "Yes"—her brilliant eyes challenged accounts for so many casualties in war. the bimbSshi's— "I know you thought I am employing, not without success, at one time that I was his secret visitor. one based upon curarine. It follows that Well—my second opportunity came, I have a stock of curare in my labora and I put that absurd advertisement in tory. It is somewhat difficult to come operators!" the County Mirror. I typed it on a sheet by in England, and I keep what I have of plain paper and enclosed a ten-shill in a special container. However, de ing note. It succeeded. While Stickle tecting my wife's purpose, I transferred was out on Thursday night, I opened it to another and placed a harmless his door and made a fairly neat job of preparation of similar appearance in the what I had come to do." original flask—" "But, Julian"—Marian Allardyce's ""DUT the telephone message?" the voice remained husky—"how could it •*-' bimbashi asked. have been harmless, when—" "It was purely by accident that I "When de Maura died?" He patted her learned on Friday night how well I had shoulder. "You planned your murder • "Lend me your eyes! succeeded. I was called out to a case perfectly. Do not reproach yourself." in the same street and was told about Unmistakably, now, Julian Allardyce • "I come to praise this man, not to bury the ambulance calling at Mrs. Saun was smiling. "You see, de Maura did ders'. This tempted me to send the not die of curare poisoning; he died of him! And I don't mean Caesar — I mean message from a public call-box—spoken tetanus." the guy who invented the Keystroke-Censor in carefully bad English—which, I sup "If I may interrupt for a moment," pose, completed the case against me. said the bimbashi diffidently, "I have on Comptometer adding-calculating ma So, now, you know how Rafael de seen the scratch on his foot as well as chines : the device that makes it practically Maura died, and why." that on his finger." "On the contrary, Marian," came a "No doubt, sir. 1 have conceded the impossible for us Comptometer operators light, vibrant voice, "you have grossly point that this attempt was well planned. to make an operating error! The exclusive misled the major!" But there are laws higher than those of Bimbashi Baruk sprang up and Spanish retributive justice. De Maura Comptometer feature that protects us from turned, all in one movement. Julian some days before had sustained a cut the Boss' wrath, and gives us confidence Allardyce stood in a doorway directly on his left calf from partly buried behind him. His expression was puz barbed wire. No doubt you have seen to turn out figure work at top speed (and zling, for he was looking at his wife, and this scar also?" that's some speed, on a Comptometer!) there was something like a smile about The bimbashi inclined his head. his lips and in his steadfast eyes. "He called upon a local practitioner, without having to worry about fumbled or "Julian!" she whispered—and that who noted unsatisfactory conditions and was all. who also chanced to be acquainted with incomplete key strokes. "Major Baruk, I fear I have been me and my special studies. Dr. Weldon eavesdropping. I beg your pardon. I and his patient came to consult me a • "While r m at it, permit me to orchid-ize happened, not by design, to see my wife few days ago—" take from her bureau certain—relics. the bird who figured out how to eliminate I thought it to be my duty to do what I "•VrOU mean"—Mrs. Allardyce spoke answer-dial zeros on the Model M Compt have done. The story which you have •'• in a low tone—"that Rafael de heard, of the death of Gabriel Varez, is Maura came here?" ometer — unless they occur in the actual true in every particular. I have, my "Certainly. I made the appointment answer, of course! I'll personally contrib self, examined the substance on the for a time when I knew you would be thorn which killed him. It is curare. away from home, and de Maura had no ute to a monument for him! But that upon the brier which you have reason to suspect the identity of my is not." wife. Perhaps I need not stress the • "Fellow-Comptometer operators, I don't "Julian!"—his wife's voice was husky point. Major Baruk, but prognosis in —"what are you saying?" such cases is extremely difficult. Teta expect to be operating a Comptometer all "I am endeavoring to correct any mis nus sometimes supervenes as late as my life! But even if I get to be a big shot apprehension under which Major Baruk ten days after infection. Even I am not may be laboring. Allow me to make my infallible. Indeed, I am weakly human. with two secretaries and ten buzzers, I'll meaning clear. Major. When Rafael de I will not deny that the temptation to never forget that not only does the Compt Maura first appeared in this district, thrash de Maura to within an inch of his some two months ago, I chanced to hear life was strong upon me. He would have ometer handle more figure work in less of his arrival. I may say that I had defended himself, for cowardice was not time at lower cost — it's also the machine never met him, but I knew the whole among his vices; but man for man I story. I knew, also, that one of Marian's stood in a different class, and I con that makes this a better world for adding- family might well hold views regarding quered the impulse. calculating machine operators! the sanctity of an oath made to a dying "I examined the wound and gave the man which others would look upon more best advice in my power. Finally, I tolerantly. I feared the outcome of a should be glad if you would arrange to • "I thank you!" meeting." have the substance upon the thorn ex He crossed to his wife, with that light, amined by a competent person, other lithe step which characterized his move than myself. I naturally regret this ex ments, and stood beside her, one hand posure of intimate domestic matters, (ASIDE TO THE FRONT OFFICE: For information on high-speed resting on her shoulder. but I have complete confidence in your Comptometer machines and money-saving Comptometer methods, discretion. I do not pretend to apolo "Nevertheless, Marian, I knew from telephone your local Comptometer Co. representative ... or write your behavior that you had seen him— gize for my wife." He put his arm about and those fears of mine were shown to her shoulders. "Circumstances and the to Felt & Tarrant Mfg. Co., 1714 N. Paulina St., Chicag o. 111.) be justified. Your earliest experiments heritage of Borrego blood explain her with brier thorns and small spigots of slightly irregular behavior. If I can soft wood did not escape my attention." assist you in any other way, at any time, He fixed his analytical gaze upon the pray call upon me. Major Baruk. I shall bimbashi. "You may possibly inquire, be at your service." P^K**^' PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED WIHIAM L. CHENERY Ediioi: CHARLES COLEBAVGH Managing Ediioi: Collier^s THOMAS H. BECK Editorial Direetot Boom Year for Babies T TURNS out that 1941 was a big year for the arrival I of babies in the United States—2,500,000-plus, or close on the heels of the 1921 record of 2,600,000. This showing hoisted our birth rate for 1941 to 18.8, or fairly near Germany's 1940 high of 20. Incidentally, U. S. marriages in 1941 hit an all-time high of 1,565,000. All of which furnishes a peg on which to hang some remarks which we think should be made. You hear more than a few people nowadays won dering out loud why anybody should "risk" having a baby in times like these. Bring a poor little walloper into the world without its consent, to grow up to wars, panics, revolutions, possible famines? It is felt by some alleged thinkers to be some kind of crime. Very superficial thinking, if you ask us. There never has been a time in the world's history, in any country, when a case couldn't be made out in the same way against having a baby. This always was an un certain world, in which you can't predict today what's going to happen tomorrow, let alone 10 or 20 years hence. That was as true in the quiet deeps of the mid- Victorian era, along about 1885, as it is in the maelstrom of today. Our notion is go ahead and have one or more ba bies, provided only that you want them and have a fair prospect of bringing them up in healthy surround ings. We hope 1942, the United States' first full year in World War II if it lasts that long, will see both the 1941 and 1921 birth records knocked staggering by sev eral hundred thousand. Some Sugar and Some Saps '•^p^i>afii:i^<^ HE country is settling with many a grunt and groan Tinto the sugar-rationing nuisance, while it gloomily anticipates rationing of other commodities. We can blame some of these squeezes on our ene Aggressive, But Not Crazy mies—rubber, of course, and oil if the submarines in the Atlantic and West Indies nail enough tankers to com pel oil rationing in some sections of the country. But UBLICATION of Lt. Col. W. F. Ker- ing men that we shall invite invasion. much of sugar constriction was brought on us by none nan's book, "Defense Will Not Win He does not urge any leeching away other than a bunch of saps on our own home grounds. Pthe War" (Little, Brown 6B CO., Bos of defensive strength from such key points A comparatively few people got jittery soon after ton, 1942, 193 pp., $1.50), touched off a as Hawaii, the Aleutians, the Canal, the Pearl Harbor because of rumors of heavy cuts in sugar conflagration of demands for an Ameri West Indies bases, Newfoundland, Green imports. Undoubtedly there will be less sugar imported can offensive, somewhere, this spring. land, Iceland, Dutch Guiana. from Hawaii this year, and some of the Cuban crop will It's a fine book. We admire especially Some of our more excitable civilian go into smokeless powder. But sugar, unlike rubber, is its pugnacious tone, and Col. Kernan's strategists and tacticians are urging some a commodity we can do something about. We can raise insistence that we must become offensive- or all of those near-suicidal steps. a great deal more beet sugar in the United States, for minded and actually mount an offensive Kernan, a hardheaded, realistic mili one thing, as Mr. Frank Taylor explains in his article on sometime if we hope to win the war. tary man, thinks he sees a chance for us sugar in this issue of Collier's. These considerations did However, we want to point out a few to hit at Italy, the Axis' Achilles heel, this not stop people from grabbing up sugar and storing it things which Col. Keman does NOT ad spring or summer, provided Russia keeps away, thus precipitating an apparent shortage before vocate in this book. It is as important, Hitler sufficiently busy on the Eastern- there was any such thing and before we could do any we think, for all of us to know what he Front. Kernan proposes that we jam an thing about alleviating the one in prospect. The gov doesn't advocate as to know what he does. initial A.E.F. of 200,000 men into Italy, ernment had to step in to protect the rest of us. The distinguished field-artillery of and follow this with waves of 200,000 men Wartime hoarders almost always outsmart them ficer and military scholar does not urge a a month till victory. Thus, he believes, a selves in their efforts to outguess war developments and blind, ill-planned, sketchily implemented second front can be set up, and the Al cheat expected shortages. They usually buy up things offensive at some point or points chosen lies enabled to rip the Axis up the back that presently become overplentiful, and miss out on more or less at random, just for the sake and rally the Greeks, Yugoslavs and things that all of a sudden become scarce. They ex of being able to say, "We're on the of French to their aid. pose themselves to public hatred and ridicule, and fensive, boys, gr-r-r!" But, to repeat, Kernan does NOT ad sometimes to legal penalties. Col. Kernan does not suggest that we vocate throwing this multiple fist into We believe that if you just take this war and its dissipate our armed strength by scatter Italy without careful planning and thor gyrations in your stride—don't let it scare you or get ing it in a dozen places around the map, ough bracing of the fist with brass you down, and especially don't try to wring mean ad thus setting up fragments of it like so knuckles before the punching begins. vantages over your fellow citizens out of it—you'll many ninepins for the enemy to knock We hope that if our war chiefs go in stand a better chance than the hoarders and kindred over. for Kernan's plan they will follow it, by wise guys of going through it smoothly and emerging He does not advise that we strip and large, instead of some would-be im from it a bigger, broader-visioned person than you were this country so bare of defenses and fight provement dreamed up by amateurs. when it began. 66 PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED