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Berl and Cohen Give Official Prediction on Super Bowl Beri and Cohen, from Page 19 One Wondering What He Would Do If Games Played As Another Victim

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Berl and Cohen Give Official Prediction on Super Bowl Beri and Cohen, from Page 19 One Wondering What He Would Do If Games Played As Another Victim Page 16 THE TECH SPORTS January 25, 199 Berl and Cohen Give Official Prediction on Super Bowl Beri and Cohen, from Page 19 one wondering what he would do if games played as another victim. Bold Suggestion #1: Let Miller Wouldn't our collective adrenaiir his back were 100 percent and he However, this battle over salary challenge Bud in the Bud Bowl. risc to sec if Dcion Sanders coui scoring, and it seems that Reggie is didn't play with a long dress. caps, pension funds, and revenue Thus far, Budweiser has a perpe- turn Jerry into Uncle Ben? Unformn conserving his energy and will be At center, Shaquille O'Neal is sharing is finally providing some- trated a scandal of Black Sox pro- nately, we may just be stuck watci ready for Miller time in the play- the choice, though teammate Tree thing for fans of the national pas- portions on the fragile, instant-win- ing Gary "Liquid" Pluinmer try offs. Rollins deserves serious considera- time - a hearty laugh. Indeed, as card-toting American people. The squeeze the Harmon (San Dieg Despite his constant belly-aching, tion. Shaq may not be able drink a spring training begins with replace- games are fixed more often than the running back Ronnie) in the face c Bulls' forward Scottie Pippen (yes, little boy's Pepsi, but he can do ment players, the 53-year-old Phil neighborhood dogs as they suspi- Mr. Whipple, Bobby Ross. as of this writing, he's still a Bull) almost everything else. Overpower- Niekro will be there, hoping to com- ciously only play themselves. This Bold Suggestion #5: DallE remains one of the best players in the ing smaller players en route to the pete once again after a much-needed travesty of justice must be put to an joins the AFC, enough said. league. To be sure, Pippen has more league scoring lead, Shaq's game eight-year hiatus. end. No more friendly home-brewed Bold Suggestion #6: Handica whines in him than the Napa Valley, still has one gaping hole, but Ostensibly hoping to turn base- matchups of Bud vs. Bud Light. No Steve Young. but the fact that with an atrocious according to the bag man himself, ball into a geriatrics lesson, the more "Oops, I hit you? Sorry." bat- This week's 21-nun salute goe supporting cast of Toni Kukoc and a he "shouldn't be expected to make knuckleballer plans to take his Geri- tles of Bud against Bud Dry. out to the golf guru who decide group of players who belong in the free throws." tol to the mound and take a nap We demand that competitive fer- that if we all can't play to the sam CBA the Bulls are over .500 is a tes- between each inning. If the strike vor be reinstated into Jan. 29 and ability, let's subjugate the good gu? tament to Scottie's skills. The Inside Pitch lasts long enough, Niekro could that Budweiser be forced to prove Here's the breakdown of the 19 Larry "Grandmama" Johnson, In just six months, the baseball become the first player to collect his their barley against a tough, gritty point spread in terms of Stev who is having his best season ever, strike has taken away four pennant paycheck, pension fund, and social Miller team, with the winner facing Young's relative health. certainly deserves the start at power races, a run at Roger Maris' record, security check in the same month. Coors in the final. It is time to put San Diego earns 3 points if th forward. After the Hornets got off to and a World Series. In the next six In a time when baseball fans the "spirit" back in Bud Bowl. The 49er quarterback has to carry n'e. a slow start, Johnson simply explod- months, it will claim Cal Ripken should be talking about MVPs, divi- prosecution rests. do-well investigative reporter Sa. ed, leading the Hornets to the divi- Jr.'s historic effort to break Lou sional contenders, and Danny Bold Suggestion #2: Stan Donaldson on his back the entir sional lead. LJ's dominance leaves Gehrig's streak of consecutive Tartabull, discussions focus on the Humphries must play the entire game. The Chargers gamer 8 point NLRB, anti-trust law, and Daniel game in pantyhose. if Steve Young must have Englebe- Patrick Moynihan. The baseball The last time a Super Bowl was Humperdink's Greatest Hits playin strike has made a mockery of the predicted to be as one-sided as the at ear piercing volume in his helmc sport, and the next months of court Temple of Jerusalem, Joe Namath throughout. The Lightning Bolt battles, congressional debates, and led a cocky group of New York Jets will be only four point underdogs knuckleballers who were over the over a powerhouse Colts team. Young is required to bleed interna- OLDE, America's Full Service Discount Broker m is hill in 1978 throwing pitches to Broadway Joe even went so far as to ly and will actually be favored b looking for motivated people to establish a career Fred, your neighborhood gasoline guarantee victory. Main Street Stan two points if the San Francisco fieiv in the brokerage business. attendant by day, Red-Sox shortstop should glean this lesson: Put a '90s general is forced to hold a flypape by night, will only add salt to the slant on Namath and offer the view- machete in both hands and char OLDE offers: wound. An era in which exciting ing audience a money back guaran- rhythmically, "OB-1 Kenobi, you'r 12-18 month paid training program young players from Ken Griffey Jr. tee if the game stinks, and wear my only hope. to Frank Thomas to Jeff Bagwell women's hosiery instead of game Potential six-figure income promised to take the game to a new pants. Official Super Bowl Prediction Excellent benefits I level has become a period of absur- Bold Suggestion #3: Simply Anyway, with the fate of th- dity which threatens to harm the show a rerun of the 1982 regular world teetering in the balance, w If you possess excellent communication skills, great game irreparably. season game between the two. present the official 1995 Mudvill general market knowledge and the desire to excel, Back when three was company Super Bowl XXIX prediction. see us at the Career Fair on February 13, 1995. Super Bowl Preview and Kotter was still welcome, this The first quarter starts with if last year's Super Bowl game actually meant something.. bang as San Diego receiver Marl If you are unable to attend the Career Fair call: matched David and Goliath, this The tension was thick as Dan Fouts Seay crumbles to the ground, victim year's big game might as well be and Kellen Winslow engineered a of a errant bullet intended for AB. 1 800 937-0606 David vs. The Marines. If you scorching 41-37 come-from-behind sideline reporter Lynn Swann. Th- or send resume to: believe the oddsmakers, sports victory over a young but inalienably game soon settles down as Sa. reporters, and Mark the happy-go- talented Forty, Niner squad. Besides, Francisco gets out to a 10-0 lead a OLDE Discount Stockbrokers lucky forensic detective, San Fran- the uniforms were far cooler back the beginning of the second quarter National Recruiting cisco could beat San Diego with then. Thousands of miles away a Japar 751 Griswold Street their hands glued to their shoes. So Bold Suggestion #4: Let each ese family turns off the television. Detroit, MI 48226 why even play this game? - team play themselves: Midway through the quarter We here in Mudville have a few Let's face it, the pre-game hype Steve Young fires a long strike tf suggestions that could make the just doesn't fire you up. Wouldn't wide open receiver Jerry Rice whi Stupor Bowl much more festive we all order another furlong of uncharacteristically bobbles the ball o ' . OLDE than mst ,'an thlor ~prc inn ,slhor'o heOagi;e' n ["- .. "a I a-.Ce. D:;^- ,-,_,:11 _A-:- L._, L ._-._ l. DiSCOU~N ~i'OiUzI uaKURu r^-ufito t od_ .. - j. I IVl k.J ! llt El u ILatI., s.wn, W11i aWlllll iL. .lal V'V Frank Gifford gets to dress up and Jack" Seau pay off against Natrone Member NYSE and SIPC wear make-up. "You know what I" Means? Berl and Cohen, Page 1 An Equal Opportunity Employer M"p·e S . .. i _ AS~d-------------- A&$63 KBBBde -eRaasisiws Theirs. Ours. It started with a vision about propelling business into the information age. Then took offwith theworld's first relational database. It's now a two billion- dollar, enterprise-wide software solutions company that keeps growing at about 25% a year - with new products, bold technological strategies, and a big head start down the information superhighway. There's nothing to do here but grow. You either make history, or become it. BS/MS CS/EE. You can become a: Software Developer · Technical Analyst * Consultant · Product Manager We'll be on campus February 1 & 2. E-mail your resume TODAY! O RAC LE = Equal talent will always get equal opportunity. Oracle Corporation, 500 Oracle Parkway, Box 659501, Redwood Shores, CA 94065. E-mail: [email protected] / FAX:-4-15-506-1073 YPHONE:'415:5>06-:6991 .... - ----- --.
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