L 0 AI ~ EllclI GOINGS ON ABOUT TOWN A CONSCIE.NTlOUS CALENDAR Of E.VENTS Of INTERE.ST THE THEATR£ casts himself as Jesus, invites S-M-r·W·T·f·S twelve of his black slaves to an PLAYS AND MUSICALS enactment of Christ's feast. A frail, overdecorated man, the THE ASS-Lisa Mazola brings this 4 5 6 7 count is one of Cuba's biggest old-fashioned workhorse to life. I I I I ! I~ 11~ sugar-growers and unable to Her costumes, by Ralston-Purina, absorb the changes of the provide the only food for command of a classic tragedy the most part relativistic, and in revivals, particularly among the Industrial Revolution; the slaves thought in an evening of star that begins to look much older. some cases quantum mechanical. lower, drug .. using classes. Some are a threat, yes, but they are turns. (Magenta, 542 W. 55th St. than its years. (Catalina Island parts are first-rate Disney, as niore familiar than the strange 642<1)370. Tuesdays through in the Pacific. 795-6841.' THE TRUSTEES' ROOM-A friendly weak as that may be, but the machines he' is getting from Saturdays at 8. Martinis September 21 at dawn.) bar and candlelit back-room total effect is grotesquely England. The feast of Maundy Wednesdays and Saturdays at 2.) restaurant on beautiful Millikan kitschy. Thursday, filmed in brownish A LIFE IN THE LAB-Edward pond. But don't expect an black and filled with the BEST WHOREHOUSE AT TECH-A Hutch's loving tribute to science evening of scientist F.I.S.T.-A iong-winded film set clattering of knives and forks charming foppish musical about in the form of a collage of the watching-most of the patrons bctween the thirties and the used by people more accustomed next year's annex, and about the office conversations between a look strictly from off-campus. fifties, encompassing the forties to eating with their fingers, political and sexual mores of our seasoned biologist and a youuger with marginal references to the begins in nervous conviviality Institute. Jose Frink, as bright one, and of their laboratory IN BRIEF twenties and none at all to the and ends with the comlt asleep and inventive as ever, was the dialogues in brief parodies of fifties, about a fictional union and the slaves reverting to happy choreographer. The company, called the Federation of every conceivable kind of scene. ALLEGRO NON TROPPO-A Africanism. under the direction of Mr. The play is hilarious and funny Interstate Twits, presumably Mayor, is as proficient as it is an tiquated film by Bruno based on the Teamsters. The as well. (Backroom Theatre, 1-71 Bozzetto. In WOP. (Quad) MONDAY MORNING FEVER-A high. (Easternmedia, 2 189th W. Campus. 795 6841. Tuesdays man who rises to its head is nineleen-year-old Italian Catholic Ave., near the Ath. 574-1914 through Fridays at 8,,) played by Silver Stallion, a (John Revolta) works up a song Tuesdays through Fridays at 8, ANNIE HALL-Droll tale of • sleepy presence with moments of middle. class misadventure. and dance routine to get out of Private Groups Saturday and MILLIKAN'S MEN-A daredevil primitive intensity; rather like his Ph 106 fhal. Ricardo Gomez Sunday at 7.) physicist hijacks a super-tanker Ostensibly set in New York, it our writing. We should be does a simply marvelous disco and searches its tanks for oil fails to capture the sense· of the grateful, heaven knows (they do number in the Ath bar. drops. A haunting, existential city. Almost sensing this, the have a subscription), for any BLASTED BUMS-Wc are in the plo t continually attempts to presence of eight sleazy Flems, statement about Islam ensues. Hollywood film that takes us PRETTY BABE-Louise Mal's (Bridge, you know where it is, switch to Los Angeles' into the public domain, but this beautifully intelligent picture is by the dugout duriug all five wasteland, a far more innings of a game against the 795-6841. Tuesdays through one seems unfashionably set in a brothel at Throop Saturdays at 7:40.) appropriate setting for this right-wing. Institute. The notorious olive mythopoeic Phage Dudes. The uncultured drivel. (Regency) action-a matter of small walk district is about to be shut FOR THE LOVE OF inanities-is sometimes [mmy, MY MOTHER WAS i A down. An exquisite little girl of sometimes not, and almost FOR TUNE-TELLER-Bobby BIRD MAN OF BLACKER-A film BENJY-llrilliant satire of man's twelve, first shown upstairs in always reeking of alcohol. The Christ's one-man show of songs, that never solves the problem of irascible best friend with the room where her prostitute actors, members of the ~th connective formulae how to dramatize the life of a particular emphasis on the mother first took on a physicist, Organo-Metallic Theatre of (presumably by himself), convicted geologist who spent proverbial doghouse. Without a has her virginity auctioned off to Noyes, do quite well; Kenneth becomes an indirect more than forty years in solitary doubt trez chick. a pack of rabid synthetic Rue Sow, as a blind man, does autobiography of this mystic confinement, with birds: as his chemists. Filmed partially on terrible things to a softball. administrator. (3rd Floor only companion. THE GOODBYE GIRL-She says location in Gates. (Performing Parking Lot, 33 Experimental Theatre, in the gratuilously abrasive things to Olive Walk. 449-9454. Nightly, phallic symbol, 795-6841. Daily CHEMICAL KNOWLEDGE A grimly hin} and he bcats thc shit out of at noon.) purposeful satire about her. AN UNMARRIED WOMAN-A except Mondays, at 8. After tenderhearted feminist picture Friday, June 9, will move to depersonalization and how we A PECULIAR POSITION ~A brisk use each other chemically as THE GREEK TYCOON-A dashing about naive fresh women at another parking lot, to be Caltech. The garden scene is announced. ) and merry evening of objects. In Hairy Grey's cold debonaire Mediterranean tycoon improvisation, with four bright slick, emphatic style, it is like a arranges the assasination of a US particularly droll. CHAPTER THREE-Neal Simone young mathematicians and a eeon, sign, that spells out president in hopes of marrying carclllogen. ' specializes in couples, some of nymphomaniac. (Scientists the former first lady and causiug ZOMBIES FROM THE which are queerer than others. Playhouse, 7 100th Ave. S., her mltold sexual frustration STRATOSPHERE-Dope-crazed The two couples in this 794-6190 Fridays at 5.) COMMA-Genevieve Bojuld as a a'rnid scenic Greek revelry. surgical resident in a Boston zombies drinking pina coladas constipated comedy are full of invade Earth and terrorize a RADIO ASTRONOMERS-Harry Zero Hospital. She discovers that large shit, which passes while beil1g HOUSE CALLS-A zany duet from student newspaper in this joked about. (Empire, 942 W. and Billy Coal's musical about numbers 'of young healthy B&G is embarked on a search for musical comedy. At first the 54th St. 669-1563. Nightly, the plight of radio astronomers patients have lost the ability to Room 301 in the undergraduate zany zombies are content to play except Sundays, at 8.) in this city is, paradoxically, punctuate after undergoing houses. All existential comment with the type-setting machines, quite exhilirating. The members minor surgery, and on art, architecture and social but, falling prey to the vices of COLD QWARKS-Dick Fineman's of the department, most of them then-uncultured-have been mores. The window they intend the lower classes, they end up play about two incredibly stupid unknown, range in age from packed off to a facility that to fix undergoes apo theosis in snorting cocaine and reading physicists in a Pasadena bar. eleven to their early twenties, provides long term proof-reading the closing sequence. Camus. After performing a Unexpectedly, much of the but their proficiency at and ghost-writing services. sensational recombination .of dialogue is very fmmy. The observing, deriving and THE LAST SUPPER-Set on a Cuban DNA, done only in theory derivatioll of c is particulary bull-shitting is unlimited. FANTASIA A horrible mutilation of sugar plantation in the late previously, the brilliant, hilarious. (Athenaeum, 146 E. (Robinson Theatre Club 24 W. the best classical music we have. eightcenth century in Holy dedicated, young biologist saves Olive Wlk. 795-6841. Fridays Campus, 7956811. Tuesdays Initially, the. film was a Week. In an expression of fake both the elderly professor's foxy only, at 3.) through. Saturdays at 8.) well-des<;rved box-office failure, camaraderie and bland religiosity, daughter and Earth from certain but it has proved successful in a bewigged white count, who destruction. DADA-A mercenary, back in Iowa UGRAD·Gorgeous costumes and sets, for his pet hog's funeral, is many lithe dancers, and the most persistently haunted by the realistic nerds in the world. The stubborn, fmmy dictator. The cast is exemplary, but the show G mortar rounds into the audience fails through monotony. (46th enhance the alrcady realistic Street Theatre, 622 W. 85th St. A LISTING OF THE STAFF feeling. (Des Moines, I Main St. 642-4271. Mondays and 642-6230. Nightly at 8.) Wednesdays at 7.) DEATHTRAP-A superb cast in a WORKlN'-A stunning production of thriller whose clever a curious musical comedy based EDITOR THE FIRST D D 0 0 Q 0 II II II 0 Oli 0000 (I oEdward Joseph Bielecki Junior anfractuosities of plot are just on an unusual masturbation technique recently brought to frightening enough and just EDITOR THE SECOND 110 Q II 0 0 0 Q 011 Q 0 11 I) II 0 I) 0 0 Q"" Spencer Robert Klein funny enough to make a light in North Complex. A merry marvellous four years in the evcning of pantomimc with three MANAGERIAL ASSISTANT 0 0 Q I) II 011 Q 0 II 11 0 I) Ill! II II II Physics option. masked players. The masks are Joel Aaron Rubinstein (Downs-Lauritsen, Annually in ingenious and surprising and so are the ideas of this nimble the Spring. Special performances MANAGER OF BUSfNESS II 9 11 0 II 0 II !I II Q 17 II (I 0 0 II II 0 11 9 II 0 !l.Kel'in Dale Drum for fifth-veal' seniors will be troup,~. (Ruddock, 1-55 E. held.) , Campus, 449-9553 Fridays and Saturdays at midnight.) PRESIDENT OF THE CORPORATION ..It Raymond Gerard Beausoleil Junior DERIVIN'-An assortment of vivid production !lumbers on unrclatcd MISCELLANY A CONTRIBUTOR 0 II II 0 II II II II 0 (I 11 0 illt 0 II 1/ II James Alexander McCorquodale themes. Vance Mah Koy is the chemical physicist, and his COMMENCEMENT-The California A CONTRIBUTOR OJ! OJ! (I O!I U OJ! 011 R!l !Ill !IO 0 0 ~ 0 company of graduate students is Institute of Technology runs o Michael GregOlY Kurilla dazzling. The music is by another lot of hamburger Hartree, Fock, Cupperman and through the meat -grinder again. A CONTR IBUTOR lUI 0 II 110 Q 0 0 1111 R 11 0 II Ill! II l! 0 Q 11 0 0 9 Lynette Dia~le Brown other classic composers. (Noyes, Admirable, but not nearly as 147 Lecture Hall 795-6841. Just notable as this group's A CONTRIBUTOR 0 Q 0 0 Q 1/ Q Q 0 I) II 0011 0 0 9 II 0 II !I O!l 0 II Heiman drop by anytime.) "Presidential Inauguration" Lee Charles scheduled for later this Summer. THE 4TH OF JULY-A number of (The Court of Man, 1 Campus, A CONTRIBUTOR 00 0 00 R!l 00 Q!! PO 0 Q.,OIIOP 0 P RO 011 0 9 OR R!l Carl J Lydick former social scientists of the 7956811. June 9 only, in the nineteen-sixties and their friends morning.) gather at a farm in North Dakota 9 and talk your ear off, to no NIGHT LIFE discernable purpose. (South Baxter at Ramo. 795-6841. BROTE'S CAFE-Several notches Mondays through Fridays at 8.) above your simple, basic Caltech jazz loft in its amenities and in THE GIN DRINKERS-An often the consistent quality of its hilarious comedy about the comic books. The windows open misery of life in AMa 95. Sounds to the outside, so you can check implausible, but Kohan performs out the nerds on your way in. the feat with ease. The cast consists primarily of engineers, MERF'S MIDNIGHT OASIS-The and they suffice. (Baxter Lecture audiences here look preppier and CHANGE. Of ADDRE.SS Hall. 795-6841. Mondays, preppier every week, but Wednesdays and Fridays at 10. onstage, affectedly sinister young In ordering a change of address, subscribers should give four weeks' notice, Repeat performances as needed~ scientists-dark glasses, leather providing both old and new addresses, with Zip Codes. If possible, please send the jackets, torn CRCs, and smirking address label from a recent issue. We will mail you your change of address as soon HELLO, FROSH!-Nothing but tears expressions-continue to pound here. The Dean brothers in out punk physics, which is for as it is ready. Very few people bother to read all this fine print here at the bottom of the page, still less get anything out of it. Of course, the question you must be asking yourself is why this block of print fails to stretch all'the way across the page as the real New Yorker's noes. Wen, the simple fact is that our computerized type-setting machines can not handle a line longer than this in.this size type, but considering that their subscription rate is 2000% greater than ours, we think it's a fair trade-off. It should be mentioned that this is a parody, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Our second class postage is paid at Pasadena, California, and at no additional mailing offices; and we don't have branch advertising offices in Chicago San Francisco, Los Angeles, Atlanta Boston and London. In fact we barely have an advertising office here. We have not been authorized as second-class mail by the Post Office Department, Ottawa, Canada. We haven't been authorized as anything in Canada, unless you count that Mounty who uses this sheet to cabin-train his huskies. Now that you've read this far I suppose you're expecting an ,answer to the question that plagues us all, and I hate to disappoint you, but even after painstakingly learning their style and technique in order to mimic it we still don't know what's funny about the New Yorker's cartoons. 3 did for Milo Baughman, pleasant to be eating natural be concluded that it was very LAST ESCAPE FROM THE SUDS geometric with a spice finish ahd ingredients - for once, none of appealing. upholstered in a batik cotton that Polysorbate 80 or amyl Incest was once:a very taboo I first saw her in Rome, Switzerland She was shooting print. A really smashing George acetate or propylene glycol and subject, but following several wearing one of those photographs with a Mamiya Kovacs fan lamp stood just the whatever else they put in open discussions sponsored by button-down sportdresses from M645; which is a fairly high other side of the glass doors. We commercialized food. The lack of the Caltech Y in conjunction Saks Fifth Avenue. You know, quality 35mm SLR. . I don't did a backgammon number for foreign substances is so unusual ;with the Department of Biology, with the gathered yoke, raglan know. I don't know much about an hour or two while the sun that they've let him trademark this is no longer so. Ineest is sleeves, rolled cuffs and that cameras. I had to buy my died over the Tiber. A leatherette the word "natural", or so I've generally defined as a sexual happy-looking multi-colored belt. daughter some sort of a Nikon case with poreelain tiles, nothing heard relationship between people She was carrying one of those last month, but I really quite extravagant, just sensibly We went from bad to worse forbidden to marry by law .. This Mark Cross bags, the kind that forget any of the details. adequate. to lackluster. There was no almost always means between last for a decade and you start On the way over to her place We had to step back inside energy left in the room nothing members of a household, calling it the one you've had in the Ferrari 308 GTB I noticed when -one of her beaus showed of interest or dazzle. I began to although the husband and wife They say those things she had ~ne of those 14 karat up A bit of an Italian dandy, if long for a subtle Kremser are often exempt. At Caltech a become even more beautiful with gold bracelets from the Chemin you ask me. I'm afraid I would Rosenhugler and pastry mit household can consist of age. That takes character. Her de Coeur collection on her left have found his moral fibre a Schlag. I could endure it no anywhere from 70 members

There wouldn't be a Caltech for another 150 years, but when ,we got a call in the 18th century ( to fix the window in ~'" Room 301, we dispatched ;~"":'-;'~~, .. two of our best men on a pioneering expedition. They never found Room 301, but they did find a remarkable ~ater . works perfect for constructing a scientific institution around. Decapitation as a means to Our two men, stmggling against their more nearly perfect workers. own incompetence, successfully surveyed Throop site and sketched out preliminary plans for steam tunnels, all for a modest consulting fee ~ per diem and advanced seniority.

To· us, decapitation - the to ensure the quality of the rest. Who .Decapitates Today B$G workers may be cutting off of the head of the B$G, we might point out, is Because so much depends 011 worker during the winter one of the very few sweat-shops the judgement of our dormant period - is the single to practice this costly technique decapitators - in addition to how found throughout the world, but most important practice in the of thinning in order to produce much to cut, at what angle, and entire culture of workers. only. the most unthinking of which dull razor to use - we It is a complex and highly workers. treat their training very seriously. don't expect to find one when you judgmental operation that not How We Decapitate At first, a beginner is only only controls the number of Decapitation is basically an allowed to watch. Then he is workers on our payroll, but also art. And over the years we have permitted to work only when an want to. controls the quality of the developed techniques that we experienced man is watching ultimate contribution that believe provide the best possible him. And finally, before working • • worker will make to our projects. results of that art. independently, he must pass our They're men with a mIssIon That is ,why we do not We began researching and acid test: decapitation of a consider a :worker thoroughly establishing our decapitation hippopotamus with a butter experienced until he has been practices in the 1940 'so knife. decapitated at least three times. At that time every worker Our Goal and men of vision. .Sometimes, despite judicious was placed on it's own program Our experience is that truly decapitation, a worker will think to determine the best method.of incompetent. repair and anyway - perhaps because of decapitation for that particular construction work can only be optimal conditions for worker. performed by stupid workers. exceptional thoughtfulness, or As a result of our tests we Therefore, because our goal is because it did not think as much have established some general to do the most incompetent job Take as it should have in the previous rules. possible, we are totally year. One, is that on each committed to hiring and Stock In such a case we resort to "stump" - the part of the neck decapitating only the most thinning. that remains after mentally inferior of workers. Thinning involves the actual decapitation - we never leave This insistence on perfection inB$G removal of whole workers from more than two nerves for future is the basic principle to which we the payroll - the sacrificing of a growth. This ensures· optimum have dedicated our lives. "Where Your Concerns Are None oj Ours." part of our labor force in order worker stupidity. Labradors, Terriers, Persians, Siamese or any other breed. Colorful dog or PAPER cat miniaturizations into selected paperweight-sized oblongs of English BRIEFLY NOTED WEIGHT stone. A unique and endearing present or momento. Kindly specify breed when ordering; $27.50 ppd, or we Brian de Palma's latest effort, PETS will completely process your pet; The Fury, is a great $37.50 ppd. Please send the animal in disappointment after his previous the best condition possible. Allow triumph Carrie. Like the earlier four weeks delivery from our reciept film, the power of telekinesis is a of your order. Other animals or 'subjects' can be done by special major element. However, while arrangement. Carrie was a brillantly crafted sympathetic and (;t times) terrifying work of art, The Fury struggles along to a pointless climax that resolves matters only Synthesis: The birth by eliminating all but one lead. Peter Sandza (Kirk Douglas) and his son Robin (Andrew of a fine hite cocaine Stevens) are sitting at a seaside resort in (presl,lmably) Isreal, discussing plans to send Robin to a special school in the U.S., when an Arab terrorist attack supposedly begins. Aetually, Peter is the real target; Robin is to be spirited away by the head of (apparently) a secret U.S. government agency, Childress (J ohn Cassavettes), who wants control over his psychic powers. Peter escapes, though, and begins the tricky process of attempting to locate his son while Childress's agents hunt for him. Despite thc wealth of maximum Crcllin chemists permit. Meanwhile, Gillian Belliver sophisticatcd equipment available (Amy Irving) is beginning to have As the synthesis proceeds, today, there is no substitute for psychic experiences, which each passing hour hrings changes the judgement and care of a usually result in a bloody in flavor, in color, in aroma, and dedicated chemist. eruptions on nearby people. Also At no time is this more in body which the chemist , she is somewhat linked to the apparent than during the critical monitors constantly, partially days of synthesis, for it is at this through sophisticated missing Robin" and eventually realizes that· he may be the key stage, thc birth of the cocaine instruments, but primarily to her own survival. She and that taste, charactcr, aroma: through his own highly Peter find one another, and body and color are in large part developed sense of taste and psychically locate Robin at determined. smell. At each sampling, our Childress's country hideaway, Our Chemist's Role chemist must be able to call to Consider just a few of our mind all the' various vintages of where a vastly more powerful chemist's responsibilities during his past and how they tasted at but irrational Robin is no help to Just You and Lilly anyone- including himself. the synthesis of a fine white each particular stage. He must A crowd pleaser, not a teaser. cocaine, such as our Caltech mentally compare them and Robin does himself in, after Crystal. predict just how high this disposing of one of Childress's Great for parties, or for those When the chemicals arrive at Caltech Crystal will get one when assistants (Fiona Lewis) in the close, iiltimate occasiollS. Let film's goriest, display of ou! labs the DEA agent must be fully mature. This talent we have Lilly wrap around YOU! telekinetic powers, and after paId off. But, in addition our found to be more than an attempting to kill his father S-M-L $125.00 chemist checks and taste~ for acquired skill; it is, rather, a rare Fits Sizes: chemical quality. gift. twice; the second attempt while If our chemist feels a The Evil Spirits Peter (who after all had been sticking his neck in a noose while particular lot of chemicals does As the cocaine forms, a froth not measure up to our of discarded chemical floats to trying to rescue his son!) tries to requirements, he will reject it. the top of the flask, forming a keep both himself and Rohin Those chemicals which he "cap" vital to the cocaine's' from falling off the house roof. Send check. money order. Master Peter of course drops the Charge number to: Lilly Pulitzer. Inc .. approves move directly to our development. This is because the ungrateful Bastard, and he dies Mail Order Dept.. 2901 NW. 34th Street. high-security labs. froth is the repository of evil (his psychie powers having Miami. FL 33142. Add $2.00 postage and The Right Mixture spirits which have been exorcised handling. Florida residents add 4% sales Since synthesis results from from the cocaine. apparently failed him-he had been levitating both himself and tax. the natural interaction of If the cocaine is to achieve its Write for free catalog. including loca­ chemicals with the ether that true peak of flavor, color, body oth.er objects .for a lengthy perIod before hIS father finally tions of all Lilly shops. permeates the entire universe, the and aroma, the cap must not be founf him). With a howl of selection of the right chemicals pennitted to dry out and harden, frustration, Peter then throws I------~----~------from the many available to our lest the evil spirits move into the himself off the roof and he dies. chemist is crucial. cocaine. Therefore, we designed a Gillian, who is now Childress's Not only is it up to the SYl1tem that circulates .liquid .chemist to determine the proper karma over the entire surface of only hop~, has gotten s?mething chemicals to begin the synthetic the cap_ The chemist must from Robm before he dIed (their process, but he must also select sJetermine exactly how often and ~yes glowed, a la Gary Mitchell the precise quantity. Too little for what duration the liquid m the second Star Trek pilot). and much will be wasted to karma will be circulated over the When Childress attempts to produce inferior cocaine. Too cap. These are _ critical sweet-talk her into cooperating much and the wholesale price in decisions - too much circulation the next day, he dies. the immediate area will be will adversely skew the universal Spectacularly, though. depress~d reducing the return on karma distribution function, too . Douglas. is be.st in the opening mmutes wIth hIS son and while investment and causin~ little will cause the cocaine to be unpleasant stockholders infested with evil· spirits. attempting to escape Childress's meetings. The chemist must When his snorting tells him net down on Skid Row. Irving (who played Sue Snell to select exactly the right chemicals, the cocaine has been purified to perfection in Carrie, turns in the in exactly the proper quantity, the precise degree that augurs a best all-around perfonnance. to yield a coca whose essence is superb Caltech Crystal, he halts Childress is sufficiently sinister in true to the nose, with all the the process by lowering the desirable characteristics m his bl~ck su~t and matching sling, temperature. He then has the but hIS motIves are as mysterious balance. cocaine carefully extracted and as most of the plot. Stevens is The Constant Vigil removed to the marketing Now begins a vigil that will mostly an object in this film, and department. thus has little opportunity to act. remam unbroken for many Our Goal hours. The same meticulous attention The Fury's screenplay is by Because synthesis both. creates to detail so eviqent during the John Farris from his own novel, and consumes heat, temperature synthetic process is given at and perhaps some of the problem must be carefully every step of our cocaine-making is there. The Fury is a shallow controlled - otherwise the process. Here at Crellin Labs, our film, lacking the substance and delicacy of the cocaine may be purpose is to bring you the finest involvement of Carrie. De irrevocably destroyed. Through cocaine that skill and care can Palma's next film may well be years of experience and reference produce. the screen version of Alfred to the Bible (Jacks), we have Bester's The Demolished Man. detennined the ideal temperature Crellin Labs, Pasadena, California Let's hope that he returns to his for synthesis of white cocaine of write For: previous level of accomplishment. true excellence, and this is the "The Art of Growing Fine C'acaine" Gavin Donald Claypool

8

Matchitlg Shoes and Diff. EQ's THe CUR.R.eNT CI NeMA .T1je G (To ihe tune of "Seasons in the Sun") ese meer The Birds and the Bees

Those who haven't seen a ability leaves much to be desired Goodbye Gomez my Phys 1 prof. movie with an authentic She comes across aOi a You tried to teach me vibes and waves. Australian red-backed retriever in combination of a saintly But I never was too brave ' a long time will just have to wait Freudian Marxist queen and a and the equations that you gave a little longer, because Gerard Nazi Barbie doll. Her image has wiII always haunt me to my grave. Damiamo's latest film, Deep quite an effect on men. One look Throat, hasn't any. Although a, at her' and anyone would he Goodbye Gomez it's hard to fail large crowd of underground terrified of infection. Because of when all the rest are getting their degrees. filmmakers hav'C. been ushering in her physical problem, she I don't know what I'm gonna do, 'the era of, good feeling' becomes involved with a doct.or cuz I can't put on matching shoes, Damiamo's film just doesn't go (Harry Reems). Reems plays his but I can solve a diff. EQ. , very deep It's easy to tell the role reminiscent of Richard film was made by a happy man Everready in lEack in the Saddle Oh, we learned science, we learned math who enjoys ,his work, but Again. His passion becomes as we breezed from dass to dass Damiamo is too forceful. He psychosis and his bedside manner but thc knowledge that I know grabs us by the pants and says, becomes bedridden. His air is will not help me when I go, 'come, it's fun.' The film's rather dignified and definitely approach to erotica is like a more cosmopolitan than Ned Goodbye Ms. Berg my Chern T A. recruiting poster: sign up for Munger. In short he is a sort of You tri(!d to help me with my synthesis, cleaner living. Oedipus, without being blinding but I always was a spas Unfortunately, the flaws in on the screen. The dialogue spilling solid liquid gas; the film are rather obvious. The between the two players seems there was no way that I could pass. style is impersonal and rather almost an afterthought, perhaps objective. This results in the it was out of pity. Altered states Goodbye Ms. Berg, it's hard to fail story climaxing too early, in of mind are in order for viewing when all the rest are getting their degrees. spite of many erectionary scenes this monstrosity. If anything I don't know what I'm gonna do, throughout. In order to maintain good can be said about the film, cuz I can't put on matching shoes, interest, the action is forced to it is that it has paid an excellent but I can solve a diff. EQ. develop a rhythmic quality. It return on the investment. slowly becomes transformed into It was exciting (never drab) a low grade fever-it slips in and OFF BROADWAY as we flew from lab to lab out easily. The cinematography is hut all the compounds that I made perhaps its one redeeming Season's End will not help me to get laid. quality. Damiamo definitely has respect for the actors' hodies; Opening for a very short run Goodbye 01' Herb you compu-nerd. however, the minor parts lire (two nights) in a way­ You helped me grunge out my 95 often merely wooden. Due to a off-Broadway theater by the But thougl~ I stayed ijp day and night, low budget, each set is bare, but unusual name 'of Winnett I could never get it right; still allows for a carnal picture. Lounge, is a brand new film to Bessel functions are a bite. The images have been simplified be shown for the first time to down to their dynamical nonpaying customers. Destined Goodbye 01' Herb, it's hard to fail components, like Feynman to be a classic, Ernie F osselius when all the rest are getting their degrees. diagrams of a physicist's and Michael Wiese present the I don't know what I'm gonna do, imaginary quarks, and this, plus spa c e e, pic 0 f the The new cuz I can't put on matching shoes, the faintly psychedelic Tijuana . century-Harqware Wars. Ham "In" look. but I can solve a diff. EQ. c,olor, creates a pungent, viselike Salad pilots his sophisticated atmosphere. steam iron through space to the Ooooh, no one could hold us back The story (although there 'isn 't cavernous jaws of an orbiting Available only as we flipped from stack to stack, much of one) concerns a young waffle iron. Fluke Starbuker at but all the programs that I wrote woman (Linda Lovelace) with a teams up with Augie 'Ben' wiII not help my loan to float. rather unique ailment. Nature has Doggie along with Artie .LDeco constructed her parts in the and 4-Q-2 to rescue the Goodbye my friends, it's hard to fail wrong place. Linda's acting princess Anne-Droid from Darph when all the rest are getting their degrees. Nader and his menacing Steam I don't know what I'm gonna do, • A soft-spoken man, with the Troopers. This is sure to become, III lin cuz I can't put on matching shoes pleasant expression and reassuring an instant hit. Rumors have it but I can solve a diff. EQ. manner of a trusted family doctor, that bagels will be given out free -R. C. Colgrove Goldberger is known to his close friends, and most of his acquaintances, along with various other food as "Murph "":"Engineering and Science. and notions. Good ol~ President Murph. -Michael Gregory Kurilla THE TALK OF THE TOWN

There a isa saying ahere inna only a dollar. New York, thata old hit men Artie findsa out wherea thisa never die, they justa stop trying guy does his shopping, it's a to swim witha the concrete. Well Ralph's, see, anda sneaks up a my a good . frien~ Arthur behind him and wraps a garrot Papadopoloselli, he s are ally arounda his neck, you know, one Arthur Papadopolus, a Greek, a those fancy-schmancy Frenchie but everyona else has a good cords, and before you cna say Italian name, so he a changed it; Vermecelli, the guy's a dead. Not Artie instead, he's a so stupid, a bad for 69, thinksa Artie, when retires and then getsa caught. he turns and sees the boxboy See, a-one a-day he getsa call standin there with his eyes from a Victor Vanceillli. Vic, bugged out like a frog, you he's a the guy Artie always a know the wet, slimy tl;ling, not a workin for, he'd a retired too, Frenchie. What can, he do? He till one a-day his son ealls. 'Dad,' wra~s the garrot around a the says a son, 'I need a your help.' boy s neck. So Vic findsa out whose been Across a the lot, Artie sees an messin witha his son, and wantsa old lady, whose a seen it all, so kill him. But poor Vic, hesa not he starts after her a too. Chases a so rich anymore, and alla his her .all the way across the lot, hit men gone; 'cepta Artie. So he Artie's not as a fast as a he used callsa Artie for one last job. to be, and a kills her too. Right Artie's retired, but owesa Vic then, the cops come and take some a favors. Truth is, he needs him away. Next a-day, there's a a dollar twenty-five for bus f~re, big headline, 'Artie chokes three so he anda his girlfriend can t~ka for a dollar at Ralph's, Can't the bus, run away, and get elope, too, for only twenty-five married, you know, like a in cents.' Romeo an a Juliet, but Vic's Without Apologies, such an old pal, he does it for - The Midnight Punater NO~1 IF I AIMED iT 'RIG'HT , THE 'BEAM SHOU.LD BE -"BARELY VISf'BLE HITTING THe

TA'RG£! OVf£R -rn ERE. • ...... ~ •

Extra MOlley Attention all students, who will letter. If at all possible please changes necessary to facilitate be employed on campus this

And Now For Something Completely Interesting

For your very 000 grown-up pet baby a/ligJtor (rmybe even the sarre one your dad flushed daWl the john years a{P) smd $3.95 plus $1,500 postag:1 and handling to: The Dept of Public I1brks, SMer Division, NY,NY 10059. State prefered ::ex. Page 10 THE CALIFORNIA TECH Friday, June 2, '1978 CLASSIFIED ADS ('SAVE THE WHALE 'Y (; .. o.ral Whale sends free anti-whaling " infr)!"mation to schools. We pay for it by Sexy Redhead, 38-22-34, wishes TYPING: Thesis/MS/Tech./Cas­ TYPING: Ruth C., expert typist. SMOKING paraphernalia contest. . e':"...... ~ st'liing pins, N<>wspapers to meet athletic, fun-seeking sette. Polished quality, 15 years West Los Angeles. Dissertations. $100 for each design resulting in a help us by male. Interested in working on experience_ Phone (213) Tab I es. Correcti ng Selectric. new addition to our line. Send running- this ad. front ends. call 577-1535 eve. 357-2311 days, (714) 593-4046 Symbols, pica and elite. Many entries (drawing or model) to . ~f)}rHEfW~ ~~~ Pin . residence. typestyles. 7 days a week. K& L Industries, 15406 Cabrito ~ Having trouble losing that purity 838-8425. Road, Van Nuys CA 91406 We point for impregnating your LOST one pair of typical nerd welcome all new ideas and ~, G~~~r~I;X~~" roomate? Call R.C.- I'll behappy glasses (black frames, etc.) in Page ~ D"pt. P inventions! Winners will be not­ to help you out! (House calls during PCD. Please return to Bill ified by July 31,1978 All entries ADDRESSERS wanted made on special request) Ray, Ricketts House, Rm. 12. become property of K&L Indust· immediately. Work at home-no 449-9755 eve. ries. FOR SALE Marantz amplifier. experience necessary-excellent pay. Write American Service, LOST Cello bow (by R. gerome) Excellent condition, 30 watts per 8350 Park Lane, Suite 269, lost on Monday or Tuesday in channel, $150 Call Dave, Dallas, TX 75231. Dabney Hall. Contact G. Greene, 388-1237, 3552274 evenings. X1837, 2183 Keck House.

.~.nfIFORNIA Tech BRING YOUR OLD TEXTS Volume LXXIX Number 32 7 . .. Friday, May 5, 1978 i , , Published weekly except during We cordiaUy invite examination and vacation periods AND TRADE FOR $$$$$$ by the Associated Students of the California Institute of Technology, Caltech Inc. The opinions expressed in all IItuden:ts and faeulty articles are strictly those of the memberll to UB. authors and do not necessarily bank with reflect those of the editors or of the corporation. Complete banking ~ .,-:Zuding: Editors-in-Chief Automobile Fihllncinc ed. Bielecki The CALTECH BOOKSTORE Bank-By-Mllil Spencer Klein Certificate of Deposit Checklnc Accounts Managing Editor Collatel'lll Loans Joel Rubinstein Drive·ln Bllnkinc Announces Escrows Business Manager romien Bllnklnc Kevin Drum Letters of Credit Writers I Home -Modemlzatlon Loans Suzanne Grace Boyer .Ufe'lnsuranqt Loans Martin Goldberg, Mike Kurilla, 'e.4oney Q,rders Bob Morrison, Brett Stutz, Nieht Depository k Bu · ack Richard Willson Personal Loans Real Estate lellns Photographers_ AI Kellner [Darkroom Cnair- . Safe Deposit Boxes manl, Greg Bone, Joe DiGiorgio, Savlncs Accounts Kam Yin Lau, Yin Shih Travelers Checks TnJ\5t Services Production U.S. Bonds Nick Smith ,Auto Banking Center at Coloro.~' and Catalina Office, 1010 East Circulation June 7 &8 Carl Lydick [Managerl, Bill Colorado and CitiMna Commercial Gould, James Hong :znu,t& So:lJingsBa'llk ofPruailen4, , IU)'tW8: '9 to 4:90 daU1/; 9 to 6 FritJ,a;lIs PASADENA II1II IIOIId Office: Colorado and Ma/'tllIO 9:00 3:30 each day Colorado lind Catalina Office: 1010 E. Colorado rhe California Tech publications LA CANADA offices are loCated in Winnett .... Canada Office: footlllil 8IId lleulah Student Center (107-51 I, California Institute of Technology, Cit.izens Pasadena, ~Ca. 91125. Telephone: 79~11, Editorial- ext 2153, Business- ext 2154. Printed by Commercial Trust News-Type Service, Glendale, Ca. Second Class postage paid at &. Savings Bank Pasadentl, CA. . Subscription rates: term- $1.50, of Pasadena at the entrance to the Bookstore Year- $4.00, Life $100. _ ... _d_ " ...... " ' ...... " I".U ...... 0 ...... \ ...... "e.G ••"" ••••."...... l

o ®®'Ct®U 00 cr:@~ U® is gonna lDake you an offer you can't refuse Come try Ail me1l1bers'of the Ca/tech community our new are invited to come in and enjoy a free Salad Bar root beer float '-with purchase of any meal

SPECIALTIES SHAORMA, SOUVLAKI-STEAK DELICACIES BAKLAVA, BOURMA-ARMENIAN PASTRY- DESSERTS FALAFEL-VEGETABLE BURGER WITH DELICIOUS SAUCE WRAPPED IN BIBLE BREAD 'SPECIAL SERVED EVERY NIGHT: USUALLY STEAK OR PRIME RIB, RICE PILAF, SALAD, VEGETABLE, AND REFILLS ON SOFT DRIN,KS AND MILK BURGER CONTINENTAL 792--6634 LOCATED ON LAKE % BLOCK NORTH OF CALIfORNIA Friday, June 2, 1978 THE CALIFORNIA TECH Page 11

WHY WAIT? CALTECH Sign up for summer work now. We are recruiting for: Typists Coffeehouse Secretaries Receptionists File Clerks SUMMER HOURS Ten key {Bookkeepers Light Industrial ROMAGARD Work in your own local s Sunday - Thursday area. Offices in Pasadena, Alhambra , and Glendale. 6:30 to Midnight For more information, call: BEER &WINE THOMAS TEMPORARIES 301 E. Colorado, Pasadena, 91101, Phone 449-2022 ITALIAN CUISINE STARTING JUNE 15 PIlZA SPAGHETTI RAVIOLI OPEN 5-11 p.m. Sun-Thurs 5 .. 12 p.m. F ri.. Sat Now open for lunch 11-2. Buffet lunch Friday Night in Baxter Lecture Hall THE HAIR CUTTERS $2.95. All you can eat Thursdays for $4.25, 'ASCII Members Others 10% off on italian food to all CIT students 50C $1.00 HJ~ AND HERS (buffet lunch excepted) 7 days/week .0",/) . IT SUe ~cI-'-"CI ~ Use new back entrance picking up orders - KS! ! !! "-" i::ll::ll ~ds'e\n · for ...... ----' pt de ., ~\ Go e"ef f(\O '4l' 1009 E. COlORADO PASADENA NEXT TO THE ACADEMY TH~TRE 1076 E. Colorado 449-1948 Ii'__VCJ . PARKING IN REAR ft..z. ') b ::::;::...... -/ <.1(' U2[ noA" 0 . .,....- <"(' ',-":,, I a .ursns pu Delta Law requires you to read this /'--./ \.. r .l;JJ;Jd ~;;-- message be/ore you leave town .. /'(' . .-.\.", '\. ,-..)c,.. -. O.K., this is goodbyel Go out and get drunk! Scrambled 50 01llytecher5 TECH 10 REOUIRED Live it upl Have fun! The summer is yours! Ga!J rea~ it.~ S owiAf7:30--9:00 & 10:30 t·.···t .-c- .--~.tv- .' "_'1..3' ',,"~"O:-" -P' But some time this summer, like around August 4th, you'd better be ready to see the funniest college movie ever created. Don't blow it!

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A comedy from Universal Pictures THE f.MllY 51M'v\ONS - IVAN REITMAN PRODUGION

"NATIONAL l.Afv\POON'S ANIMAL HOUSE" 5'0"'09 JOHN !3ELUSHI' TIM MATHESON JOHN VERNON . VERNA !3LOOM . THOMAS HULCE and DONALD SUTHERLAND os JENNINGS' Produced by MAllY SIMMONS and IVAN REITMAN· Music by ELMER !3ERNSTEIN . Written by HAROLD PJ>MIS, DOUGLAS KENNEY & CHRIS MILLER· Directed by JOHN LANDIS 10<'9"-.01 >avnd "ocks on MCA Reca

Second-Class Postage paid at Pasadena. California. The California Tech is published weekly exc!lPt during examination and vacation periods by the Associated Students of the California Institute of Technology~ Inc.• You'll be talking about it all winter! Winhett Student Center. Caltech 107-51. Pasadena, CA 91125. FINAL One of The World's ~RfIFORNIA Tech Great Newspapers PRIZES That Was By Joel Rubinstein fall to Isabella Lewis, sophomore, bearing. Colleen Ruby and Janet The D eans a nd the and Leslie Paxton, junior. This Rice, both sophomores, and Undergradu a te Academic award is sponsored by the James Angel, freshman, will be Standards and Honors Committee Alumni Association and is invited to a lu ncheon with Jim The Year h ave selected undergraduate usually granted to students Ma y er, Master of Student prizewinners for several awards. m aj oring in any kind· of Houses, to receive these $200 Tuesday, Ray Owen presented engine ering including chemical prizes. the George W. Green Memorial engineering, for service to the Eric Kaler is the designee for Prize to David L. Johannsen, campus conununity and good the silver medal from the Royal That Was senior; for his work in LSI design academic performance. Society for the Encouragement in computer science. He also The Haren Lee Fisher 'of Arts, Manufacture, and present e d the Arie J. Mem01ial Award in Junior Commerce. This award is Haagen-Smit Memorial Fund Physics is $150 awarded to a sche duled to be presented Award to Robert Hanson. This junior physics major showing sometime in the summer. This --Or Was It? award is granted to a biology or great promise in the field. Liew -Royal Society (not the same one chemistry student who has C. Chiu has been selected this as the one to which Gell-Mann The year arrived and at Frosh rehabilitation There will be 33 shown academic promise and has year by a committee headed by was just elected) awards this camp there was the usual lousy frosh women in ne xt yea r's cl ass made recognized contribu~;ons to Ricardo Gomez. medal to students designated by food. Several distinguished of 219 Caltech. Both of these prizes are At commencement, Professor seve ral preStlglous American faculty and respected studeut The Institute awards its fir sl $500. . Charles Babcock will present universities, including Caltech. leaders were oceaned for PhD's in Social Scicnce. F ootbull The Jack E. Froehlich Wayne M. Baxter the David The Putnam team and high unknown (?) reasons. The died tllis year, partially because Memorial Award is ordinarily a Joseph Macpherson Prize in ranking individuals were honored · Institute President appeared for of soccer and partially because of $400 prize to one student. TIns EJlgineering. This $400 prize is at a luncheon last week. The the first time in nine years. apathy. Coach Gu tm<1n took to year, two students were selected awarded to a graduating senior in Caltech team of Karl Heuer, Harry Gray introduced Bob teaching self-de fellSe to the to re ceive the prize, each en gineering who exemplifies Peter Shor, and Bert Wells took Chris t y to J enijoy (with women and working on ;) revival. receiving the full amount. excellence in scholarship. third place this year. Each of Valentina translating) in the lnterhousc came. Page actually Thongchai Kengmana and Three students have been them received a check for $50 course of his chennstry lecture. got their swamp ride working. Sangtae Kim will be presented selected by a committee headed - an dace r tificate. Michael Rotation followed as it is The search was On for a new the prize next Tuesday by Ray by Jenijoy LaBelle for the Mary Chandler received a check and a known to happen, with tired president, and Dr. Marvin Owell. UASH selects the winners A. McKinney Prize in English. certificate for placing in the top upperclassmen ' (interminable (Murph) Goldberger came to from the top 5% of the junior Christopher Vestuto, senior, Jeff 40. house meetings) and confused campus to talk with everyone. class for showing outstanding Hicks, sophomore, and Cecelia A new prize has been frosh (what else could they be). The rumor mill .says that people promise for a creative Ro'driguez, freshwoman, will established tlns year: The The Tech went went out twice were turnillg the job down right professional" carreer. recieve their prizes "within a Bononblust Travel Grant. The weekly (for a while anyway). and left and two candidates Robert Christy will present short time"~ i.e., as soon as the first Awardee is Philip Hanlon, Everything else came out late. including an IBM vice-presidelll the Sigma Xi award to Michael checks are prepared. mathematics graduate student, The little t came on the late visited the campus incognito. But Steigerwald at commencement The Don Sheperd Award is who received the award at the boat. The Big T turned into a Murph was chosen, and he and for his theoretical work in granted to undergraduates to Atheaaeum in a luncheon . last late expensive boondoggle, Mildred will be here J li ly 1. They chemistry. Tl1e Sigma Xi Award help them attend extracurricular week. The grant is named in thanks to uJlrealistic projected ad both plan on attending Prosh of $500 is granted to a senior activitiedhat would otherwise be h 0 nor 0 f H. Fre derick revenues by the Business Manager Camp. selected for an outstanding piece a financial strai n. Ability to Bonenblust, former Executive The TQFR barely made it out by The Glee Club sang at the of original scientific research. profit from such activities is the Officer for Mathematics and Add Day (no thanks to Leroy, Festival of LiglllS. Naturally, the The Donald S. Clark Memorial criterion for this award; former Dean of Graduate but many thanks to Gentle Ray). highJight was the mostly nude Award will be presented in the scholastic performance has no Studies. And even the Tatel'll made an angels. The Club also entertained * appearance after a five year the Associates at the Beverly * *********************************************#> absence. Finally, the Coffeehouse Wilshire, and saw how tbe other * opel.led . th_~ same day food half lives. The Mudeo came off finally. A small group of Sophs * Ed th Bak Pol Duwez P I FI : servIce dId iJ~·st term (could there * . y e er ear es * be a connectIOn?). put up a strong and determined * * The Caltech Musical presented show, but, of course, the frash * * FIORELLO. Typecasting as WOIl. ASClT elections came. and went with Commanmder * R b t Gelm Sarah Hu.nt * usual, Youngil Choo played the * 0 er lOre * lead, and Lynn Hildemann as the Bert thrown ou t for the Ii kes of * * noted musical-comedy star, Mitzy Gentle Ray. The L10ydies took Travers. Pam Crane, the over the BOD, with fOllr seatS. * * The Flems still domina te the * M1el Plesset Trudy Ralph * producer, lured Dick FeynmaJl * ton * and Harry Gray into the BOC. * * production (they played the bad For ongoing action * * guys), along with Jellijoy (in the throughout the year, the old Hal died, only to be replaced by a : Martha Wayne Robert Wayne * achorus nice line),little CharlieItalian), DePrima and Bob (as new Hal, currently dying. The : * Christy. 1t was the biggest and Art Gallery opened 01' reopened * * best ever (but how can they top depending on the way you look * * the balloons falling from the at it. The Olive Walk was sodded (that's grass). Around the same Committee (With time 3rd floor Millikan aquired a :* Retl-rees of Great Note *~ aceilf~f)HouSing lIttle help from its friends) planter. The ASCIT Friday night * :: decided to convert tlle Annex to movie people decided to battle * _. * an all women's dorm for next sagging attendance and get. Oh * . * year. Seven frosh women and yes, . we lost the Caltech barbe~ . *' *' two upperclass women will be And Egad!s were seen in the Tech once again. ***********************************************:living there , after some summer