1 CHAINSMOKERS: The Musical! By Devon Kerr © 2018 Devon Kerr WGA Registered 2018
[email protected] 5/6/18 2 Aesthetics Max: Frat-bro-neon-Natty-light-dad-bod-DJ-wannabe aesthetic. Casey: Insta-ready-boho-chic-ombre-hair-zoodle-vegan-diet aesthetic. Priscilla: Business-boss-black-and-white-sociopathic aesthetic. (Doesn’t have an Instagram) Damien: Mysterious-bad-boy-demonic-douchebag aesthetic. Jason: Aesthetic is too big of a word for him to pronounce. Rilton: Faux-hipster-neo-communist-trying-hard-to-not-try-hard-chill-girl aesthetic. Jackie: A-lamp-with-a-woman’s-face-taped-to-the-front aesthetic. The Narrator/Halsey: Tumblr-cool-girl-woke-literary-secret-One-Directioner aesthetic. The Irrelevants: Mr. Smoke, Mrs. Smoke, Waiter, Nurse, Lyft Passenger. Location New York City, baby. Time Present-Day. Notes: Waiter, Nurse, and Lyft Passenger are played by The Narrator. 3 PROLOGUE The Narrator stands out across the vastness of the space. She clears her throat. THE NARRATOR Two households both alike in dignity In fair Verona where we lay our sc-- Oh, excuse me. This isn’t my latest album. Good evening, ladies and gentle-bros, DGs and future trustees Welcome to a night of magic and mischief Where anything is possible Except any of you being sober. “CLOSER” Jason emerges. JASON Hey, I was feeling just fine before I met you. Drink too much and that’s an issue. But I’m OK. THE NARRATOR And who am I, you may ask? You’ve heard my whispers in your dreams Impossible to drown out with your screams I’m younger than you yet impossibly old More power and riches than you tenfold My influence growing like a roaring flame You know who I am, but perhaps not my name (pause) I am Halsey.