Publisher Women in Black - Belgrade, December 2008 Original title Ženska strana rata, Women in Black - Belgrade, 2007 Edited by Lina Vušković and Zorica Trifunović In association with Tamara Belenzada, Helena Rill, Staša Zajović, Lino Veljak, Indira Topčagić, Sanja Cesar and Luljeta Vuniqi Translation Mirka Janković, Stanislava Lazarević, Dubravka Radanov, et al. Proof reading and editing Jennifer Michelle Williams, Janet Fiona Rabin, Tamara Belenzada Layout Marija Vidić Artistic design Bojana Ban Printing Artprint Circulation 1,000 The publication of this book was made possible by Kvinna til Kvinna, Sweden and Quaker Peace & Social Witness, London The translation and printing of the English edition was made possible by The Balkan Trust for Democracy Acknowledgements First and foremost, our thanks go to all those women, both the undersigned and those who have remained anonymous, who related and wrote accounts of their experiences during the wars in the area of the for- mer Yugoslavia and whose testimonies have been included in this compila- tion. We also thank the women who recorded these testimonies and made possible their publication. We thank the authors with whose consent we have published parts of their works free of charge: Alenka Mirković (91,6 MHZ – Voice Against Cannons), Svetlana Djordjević (Testimony on Kosovo), Miroslava Malešević (Didara – Life Story of a Woman from Prizren), Jusuf Kadrić (Brčko: Genocide and Testimonies), Radmila Sesar (radio drama: Mother Meira – In Search of the Truth) and Brendan MacQuillan (Voices of the Dawn – Testimonies of Displaced People). We thank the publishers and editors who allowed the publishing of some of the texts free of charge: Simone Goldstein, director of the edition Antibarbarus (Seada Vranić: Breaking the Wall of Silence); Vesna Kesić and The Center for Women War Victims, Zagreb (Compilation: The Center for Women War Victims, Women Recollecting Memories); Nebojša Spajić (Boris Vukobrat's Foundation for Peace and Crises Resolution: Age of Reason); Suada Kapić (FAMA: The Siege of Sarajevo – March 1992 - March 1996); Hajra Ćatić (Citizens’ Association "Women of Srebrenica" – Tuzla: The Deathly Summer of Srebrenica ’95); Mirsad Tokača (Sin of Silence – Risk of Speech); The Autonomous Women’s Center, Belgrade (Feminist Notebooks); Obrad Savić (Belgrade Circle: Letters from two Sarajevos); Vesna Nikolić Ristanović (The Institute for Criminology – Belgrade: Women of Krajina – War, Exodus, Exile); The Center for Non-Violent Action, Sarajevo, Belgrade (Things cannot be good for me if they are bad for my neighbour, Everybody would like to hurl a stone); Jezdimir Milošević (Protector: Lights in the Tunnel); The Citizens' Association Civis, Belgrade (Women Victims of War); and The Center for Peace, Non-Violence and Human Rights, Osijek (Stories from Berak). We thank Naira Hodžić (Nightmare) and Tamara Mišković (A Child’s Story) who wrote their recounts especially for this book. We thank the women who recorded testimonies that are being published here for the first time: Vesna Kuljuh (Magbula Dizdarević: My Story), Women at Work, Novi Sad (Agneš and Ljiljana Odanić) and Lepa Mladjenović (Igballa Rogova: I am Alive!) We thank all those who helped us find the books for this compilation or contributed to the realization of this project in any other number of ways: Jasmina Tešanović (who, additionally, contributed her own accounts), Lepa Mladjenović, Tanja Tagirov, Olivija Rusovac, Slavica Stojanović, Christina Wassholm, Goran Bubalo and Miloš Urošević. We also thank all those who are not mentioned here for their generous help and solidarity. We thank the organizations which put at our disposal their libraries and helped us obtain these accounts: The Autonomous Women’s Center, Belgrade; The Victimology Society of Serbia, Belgrade; The Humanitarian Law Center, Belgrade; Youth Initiative for Human Rights, Belgrade; The Infotheque – Zagreb; and The International Commission on Missing Persons (ICMP), Sarajevo. We thank the donors (Kvinna til Kvinna and Quaker Peace & Social Witness), without whose support the publication of this book would not have been possible. We thank the translators for their contribution and cooperation, as well as the technical and design editing team of the English version of the book. We thank The Balkan Trust for Democracy who made possible the realization of the English version of this book. contents A Letter (In Lieu of an Introduction) - Lina 9 In My Own Name - Staša Zajović 11 Vukovar ___________________________________________________________________ 15 Voice Against Guns - Alenka Mirković 17 Facing the Wall of Silence - Seada Vranić __________________ 31 Besima 33 Enisa 39 Fatima 44 Selma 51 Suada 58 Man is a Horrifying Force of Violence and Pain _______ 63 J.H. 65 In Front of My Parents 68 Sena 69 Saida 70 Bijeljina 72 Višegrad 74 Grbavica – Sarajevo 75 Kalinovik 76 Stolac 78 I Begged Them to Kill Me 81 Prozor 84 Sanski Most 86 Kozarac 90 Prijedor 92 They Took Everything Away ____________________________________ 95 Forced to Grow Up - Romana Romanić 97 Darkness over Stradun 99 May Devil Take Their Happiness 103 Rijeka in Black 105 The Broken Cross - Grandma Maca 107 Vjera Solar 108 The Siege of Sarajevo ______________________________________________ 109 Mubera's Letter 111 The Siege of Sarajevo: March 1992 - March 1996 112 Longing for Daybreak 127 Inja - Inja Pašalić 129 My First Admission 139 A Musician by Nationality - A Suite for my Native City of Sarajevo 141 Run, Move the Children ___________________________________________ 143 More Bags than Hands - Merima Nosić 145 No More War 152 I Beg 154 Run, Move the Children 156 My Story - Magbula Dizdarević 158 A Child’s Story - Tamara Mišković 160 A City That Is Denied the Truth 162 The Nightmare - Naira Hodžić 163 Biba Metikoš 168 Goga M.'s Story 170 Carmen - Merima Trbojević 179 Women of Krajina ____________________________________________________ 181 Kosa 183 Miroslava 192 Vedrana 198 Zora 204 Srebrenica ________________________________________________________________ 211 I.P. 213 S.S. 215 S.H. 217 H.H. 219 S.M. 221 Dj.O. 225 Kada Hotić 228 Sabaheta Fejzić 232 Šuhra Malić 234 The Most Painful Video Footage in the World - Nura Alispahić 235 Voices of the Missing _______________________________________________ 237 Alma Rikalo Turulja 239 Smilja Mitrović 240 Andjelka Arnautalić 242 Jasminka Kadrić 244 Mother Mejra - In Search of the Truth - Radmila Sesar 246 Nusreta Sivac 254 Lights in the Tunnel _________________________________________________ 261 Djulka 263 I remember 269 We Live Together - Nada Mladina 272 Esma 274 Jadranka 279 Women Look Back ___________________________________________________ 287 Gacko 289 Zenica 297 Bosanska Krupa 304 Goga M.'s Second Story 312 When I Met You for the First Time - Rada Borić and Habiba - Biba Metikoš 316 Kosovo _____________________________________________________________________ 323 Didara Dukadjini - Miroslava Malešević 325 Testimony on Kosovo - Svetlana Djordjević 336 Bombs Again - Nora Ahmetaj 345 I Am Alive! - Igballa Rogova 347 You Will Give Birth to My Son! - Mihane Nartile Salihu Bala 356 Notes from the Trip to Macedonia - Lepa Mladjenović 359 Waiting for Kosovare - Borka Pavićević 362 He Has Diminished the Significance of All the Women in the World - Flora Brovina 364 Please, Do Not Be Silent any Longer - Aferdita Jakubi 366 "Humanitarian" Intervention ___________________________________ 367 La vitta e bella - Jasmina Tešanović 369 Ljiljana Odanić 372 Agneš 376 War Workshops 381 Crossing the Lines ___________________________________________________ 387 Crossing the Lines - Biljana Kašić 389 Iren Meier 390 Silence - Seada Vranić 391 A Uniform Scenario - Seada Vranić 392 Rachel's Bed - Eve Ensler 396 Notes on a Life in the Background - Senka Knežević 399 Getting to Know Myself - Nora Ahmetaj 402 My Seven War Years - Tanja Tagirov 407 We Remember - Lepa Mladjenović and Jadranka Milićević 411 Divided Cities - Lepa Mladjenović 417 Women from the Back Seat of the Bus - Staša 420 Three Thousand Roses for Three Thousand Victims - Nada Dabić 423 Expanding Our Civil Space: Women in Peace Initiatives - Vesna Teršelič 426 Terms and Acronyms _______________________________________________ 431 Bibliography ___________________________________________________________ 435 A Letter (In Lieu of an Introduction) Dear women, This letter, my favourite form of communication, is addressed to each one of you separately and, particularly; to every one of you who wrote or spoke whilst others recorded. Also, it is to those who will read this. Just as I saw those of you in my mind whose stories are here as I read about you, at the same time, I saw all of you who will read this in the future. The women’s word has often been used and frequently misused, dis- torted, and (mis)interpreted. On the one hand, women were the real victims of a specific war strategy, and on the other hand, this victimisation was used as a "case": a weapon of war propaganda, turning women into victims twice over. Those who listened attentively to what the women had to say and those who faithfully wrote down and promoted their words were, however, few and far between. It seemed important to me to obtain these records: collect them in one place, and thus, endow them with new force. I would not have ven- tured into this, had I not already seen that women wanted to hear these words; that they mattered to them, and that this hunger to know and exchange wartime experiences never ends. I see this book as an incentive to continue joining your personal experiences (in the ways you find best). Thereby also continuing to add to a women’s history which is still in signifi- cant contrast to the other: an undoubtedly men’s-only history, dry and mer- cilessly impersonal, not allowing any individual voice to break through and attain its legitimate place. After all these years, perhaps we should take stock of all that we had to go through. We should take stock of the enormous effort we have invest- ed. Our effort will allow us to realise how strong we have been and will make it possible to recognize our true strength by reminding us of all of the tragedies and the trials and tribulations that we have surpassed.