Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology Rose-Hulman Scholar

The Rose Thorn Archive Student Newspaper

Winter 12-18-2003

Volume 39 - Issue 11 - Thursday, December 18, 2003

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Thursday, December 18, 2003 Volume 39, Issue 11 Saddam: Just a man? Part I - Rise his capture. Rubaie had been chose life over death at the legal privilege to have up to need to educate him. Hussein Courtland Caldwell an inmate at Saddam’s torture hands of Americans; Saddam four wives. went to live with his uncle, chamber in 1979 and was Hussein was a man. The introduction of Hassan Khayrallah Tulfah, who was Staff Writer one of four members of the Born on April 28, 1937 to did not improve Hussein’s a school teacher in Baghdad. ay God curse you. Tell Iraqi governing council to poor farmers, Hussein grew life; his step-father abused Tulfah felt a deep hatred for Mme, when are you going interview the prisoner. up in Auja. Near Tikit, it is “a him physically and mentally, imperialism, arising from to be accountable to God For 24 years Saddam village of mud-brick huts,” frequently exclaiming to the British suppression of the and the day of judgment? Hussein has ruled Iraq, far according to ABC news. Subha, “I don’t want him.” 1941 pro-Nazi coup in which What are you going to tell longer than most of our Hussein’s father, Hussein al- Despite his contempt for we took part. Him about Halabja and readers have been alive, what Majid died before or shortly his step-son, Hassan still Tulfah would later become the mass graves, the Iran- then can we say with certainty after Hussein was born. made use of Hussein, often the mayor of Baghdad, his Iraq war, thousands and about Saddam: he was a man. Subha, Hussein’s mother having him pilfer sheep and ideology and his political thousands executed? What He was a man conceived in his was left to take care of him chickens, which Hassan aptitude held great influence are you going to tell God?” mother’s womb, he was a man alone, until she met Ibrahim would resell. over the development of said Mowaffak al-Rubaie, to who fathered two children, Hassan, a married man whom At the age of 10 (1947) Hussein. By 1956 Hussein had the former President of Iraq he was a man who ruled a she eventually convinced to Hussein began school despite discovered the seduction of Saddam Hussein hours after country, he was a man who leave his wife, despite his his step-father’s failure to see a power. Saddam - Rise (continued on page 2) April Sept 1937 1947 1957 1968 1973 1979 1980 1982

Hussein becomes Bakr retires from Iran re-cap- Moves to live with his deputy chair of public life and tures most uncle, Khairallah Tulfah the Revolutionary Saddam rises to of the terri- in Baghdad Command Coun- presidency tory. Saddam cil as his cousin, asserts total Ahmed Hassan control. al-Bakr becomes president Saddam offi cially Iraq invades Iran Saddam Hus- Becomes a young becomes vice- and captures ter- sein born in activist and joins president of Iraq ritory. Tikrit. Iraqi Baath Party

Centennial of fl ight Thurmond’s bi-racial child dampened, but the spirits of the the great work they had begun Thurmond served in the Stuart Nash crowd were not, and the college and in their own capacity to see U.S. Army during World War professor turned pilot Kevin it though. We would not know Odessa Goedert Staff Writer II, and then was elected Kochersberger received a hearty their names today if these men Staff Writer What do bicycles and governor of South Carolina in applause from the crowd as a had been pessimists.” fl ying have in common? Former U.S. senator James 1946. In 1948 Thurmond ran crew worked to free the plane From inauspicious beginnings, Until December 17 1903, Strom Thurmond, once a vocal for President with the States from the same soil that sent the the longest fl ight on that day nothing. Then, on a seemingly segregationalist, is alleged Rights’ Democratic Party and Wright Brothers airborn on that was 59 seconds. To an everyday inconsequential day in North to be the father of Essie Mae won four southern states fateful day in 1903. event, aviation has advanced an Carolina, two bicycle-savvy Washington-Williams, who is against Harry S. Truman. Attending the reenactment incredible amount in just ten brothers from Ohio performed of mixed race. On Tuesday, the Thurmond led a record 24 was a cast of aviation pioneers decades. Only 24 years after the a feat that has changed the way Thurmond family confirmed hour and 18 minute filibuster and celebrities. On hand were fi rst fl ight, Charles Lindbergh that we live today. In 12 seconds Williams’ claim, and said the in 1957 as an attempt to stop Neil Armstrong, fi rst man to made the fi rst solo transatlantic and 120 feet, history was made, senator provided the 78-year- part of a civil rights bill and he walk on the moon, Chuck fl ight. Two decades later, Chuck fulfi lling a dream of man that old retired schoolteacher with condemned nearly all court Yeager, the man who broke the Yeager broke the sound barrier had persisted for many, many money for numerous years. rulings and congressional sound barrier, and John Glenn, in the X-1. Then, a short 22 years. Williams told the proposals that extended civil the former astronaut and U.S. years later, Neil Armstrong and This week kicked off the Washington Post that rights to African-Americans in Senator who returned to space Buzz Aldrin became the fi rst Centennial of Flight, a year long Thurmond had privately the 1950s and 1960s. just a few years ago. Also in men to set foot on the moon. celebration of the achievement acknowledged her as his Even while financially attendance were John Travolta Now, commercial aviation, air of the Wright Brothers and daughter and had provided supporting his mixed-race and President George W. Bush. freight, and regular manned their contributions to history. financial support since 1941. daughter, Thurmond vowed Bush gave a speech about and unmanned space missions On Wednesday, a reenactment According to Williams, “there’s not enough troops the achievement of Orville have made many people take for was held at the same spot and Thurmond met her mother, in the Army to force the and Wilbur Wright, and their granted the amount of effort it same time that the fateful Carrie Butler, while the 16- Southern people to break contribution to both history and took to reach the sky in the fi rst fl ight occurred, although year-old worked as a maid in down segregation and admit the United States. place. Hopefully, the Centennial not everything went to his home, and a relationship the Negro race into our “The Wright brothers hit of Flight will rekindle the plan. A rebuilt plane with a ensued. Washington Williams theaters, into our swimming some disappointments along wonder and curiosity that drove reenactment crew tried to take was born when Thurman was pools, into our homes, and the way. There must have been the Wright brothers to build and a short fl ight down a muddy just 22 years old, just seven into our churches.” times when they had to fi ght fl y their own airplane. runway and ended up getting years before he won his first their own doubts,” Bush said. stuck in the mud. The plane was seat in the South Carolina Continued on page 10 . . . “They pressed on, believing in Continued on page 10 . . . senate. Weather News Opinions Entertainment Flipside Thursday Snow Showers 33 Hi / 27 Lo Friday Saddam and more Saddam in the dog The King Returns. “New and improved, Scattered Flurries Christmas plans house. Oh Yeah. Nasty Ass Soda.” 36 Hi / 29 Lo

Provided by www.weather.com Pages 2, 3, &10 Pages 4 &5 Pages 6, 7, & 8 Page 12 Edited by Lissa Avery The Rose Thorn 2 NEEWSWS Thursday, December 18, 2003 Saddam: Just a Man? Part II - Reign to Syria, was murdered upon his President Saddam Hussein. The Human Rights in Iraq, created Mylroie, "the vicious fi ght against Courtland Caldwell return to Baghdad. party member was arrested for by Middle East Watch, a human the Kurds [who make up some Staff Writer What followed on the night of not informing the authorities, rights organization, "Iraq under 20% of the Iraqi population] July 22, 1979, became known as as were the male members of his the Baath party has become has been conducted without "The most important fact: Had the "night of the long knives," family: three sons and a son-in- a nation of informers: party regard to any notions of human the roles been reversed, he would in which hundreds of senior law. During interrogation they members are said to be required rights. In one well-documented have torn us apart and cut us into offi cials were purged. According were subjected to torture….All to inform on family, friends, and atrocity, for example, sixty- small pieces after torture," said to Judith Miller, of The New fi ve were subsequently executed acquantinces, including other seven women and children who Dr. Ahmad Chalabi, head of the York Times, and Laurie Mylroie, and the family’s home was party members….All teachers had sought shelter in a cave to Iraqi National Congress about of Harvard University, "The bulldozed." were required to join the party, escape artillery shelling were his experience interviewing savagery of Saddam’s victory A 1981 Amnesty International and those who refused or were knowingly incinerated. In March Saddam Hussein shortly after was meant to make him seem report about the arrest of a deemed ineligible were fi red… 1974, two Kurdish towns of about his capture. "This contrast was invincible. His rivals had journalist said, "During the .Teachers reportedly ask pupils 25,000 and 20,000 inhabitants paramount in my mind – how we been smashed; his primacy as fi rst two days he was taken to about their parents’ views, were utterly razed. Napalm was treated him and how he would absolute leader secured. He had different rooms and beaten with the result that parents feel routinely used. Hundreds of have treated us." replaced the state with the party, with fi st, rods and a whip….In obliged to disguise their thoughts thousands of Kurds were forced On July 16, 1979, Ahmad and now the party with himself, one room he was caressed and in front of their children." to fl ee [an estimate now consider Hassan al-Bakr, President of Iraq, the giver of life and death." sexually fondled, before being The same report also said, low.]" resigned for "reasons of health," The reign of Hussein is taken out and beaten and kicked. "collective punishment is "Kurdish rebels who and Saddam Hussein was named documented as murderous, The torture then became more routinely practiced in Iraq. In surrendered to government chairman of the Revolutionary torturous, and based on systematic, taking place every Kurdish areas, people have troops were often massacred Command Council, commander- informers. one or two hours. His head was been rounded up randomly and once they had laid down their in-chief, secretary-general of the According to the London- whipped and beaten so hard that shot in reprisal for attacks on arms; Mass deportations of Iraqi Baath party, head of the based "Index on Censorship," he lost consciousness…. After Iraqi troops or offi cials. When entire families and villages government, and president. His "One reliable report concerns regaining consciousness on one persons wanted for political or were carried out," according to reign began. Before July 22, 1979, a member of the ruling Baath occasion he was aware that his security crimes could not be Miller and Mylroie. Even "The Saddam’s two biggest opponents party related to a former senior trousers had been removed and found, family members have Economist," responsible for the were eliminated: General Walid offi cial, arrested in Baghdad in realized that he had been raped. frequently been arrested and most conservative estimate, Mahmoud Sirat was tortured August 1987 after government He was then made to sit on a in some instances tortured suspected 50,000 people were and his body mutilated; Adnan informers reported that he had cold bottle-like object which was and murdered." People in Iraq affected. Hamdani the deputy prime been present at a gathering forced up his rectum." "disappear." minister who was on a state visit where jokes were made about According to a 1990 report According to Miller and Continued below... (continued from page 1) Saddam - Reign (concluded on page 3) 1984 1985-86 1988 1991 1994 1999 2002

Iran accepts Iraq masses troops President Bush brands Iraq, Iran, and War in Persian UN ceasefi re; against Kuwait; resisted N. Korea part of an “axis of evil” Gulf waters be- war with Iraq by US and UN; crisis tween Iraq and ends. leasds to iraqi recogni- Security council approves resolution Iran tion of Kuwait as an 1441 giving Iraq a last chance to scrap independent state its alleged weawMD’s or face “serious consequences” Iraq re-estab- lishes diplomat- Desert Storm ic relations with Iran-Contra Affair US and British fi ghters attack the US secret arms deal between Saddam crushes Iraqi missle sites challenging US and Iran uprisings in the north their patrols of north and south and south no-fl y zones Mixed reactions to Hussein’s capture Part II, from and his potential captors, have been better received in the Iraqi people, not his John Kropf ending in the death of the Arab community if Iraqui [Hussein’s] followers” above Staff Writer Saddam. Instead what they soldiers had been the ones Iraquis and Kuwitis had a During the Kurd-purge Iraq became the fi rst state to use When the news of Saddam saw was a meek man hiding to capture him. Abu Khaled, different feeling about the weapons of mass destruction Hussein’s capture hit the from justice and giving a Demacus taxi driver felt capture, however. In Kuwait, against it’s own citizens, and world media, the coverage himself up without a fi ght to that it was a shameful day the country which Hussein Saddam Hussein became the was immediate and constant. the very army he had sworn for the Arab nation when a invaded in 1990 – the fi rst man to use weapons of The responses from to fi ght with everything he prominent Arab president invasion which prompted mass destruction against his own people. First hand accounts major news organizations had. was arrested by a foreign the Gulf War – people were of the atrocity, that killed around ranged from cautionary to Many Arabs did not occupational force and not extatic about the news. particularly like Saddam’s the people forced to live Friends messaged each other 5,000 people, were reported to congratulatory, but most Amnesty International offi cials gave the United States policies, but they weren’t under his rule. Kaled was on cell phones saying things in October of 1988: "some of credit for taking out one thrilled to see Arabs quick to point out that he like ‘Congratulations’. Many those interviewed said members of the worst dictators who embarrassed in the did not support Saddam, but Iraquis too were glad to be of their families, including ever lived. Middle Eastern international community. also was quick to indicate free of the opressor. Iraquis children, had died instantly as heads of state were not as “…He is an Arab president that Hussein had been the who fl ed to western nations a result of chemical attacks, while others were too seriously disappointed with Husseisn’s after all. Weather you love fi rst to attack Israel - an were even happier about the him or hate him, he is still enemy of most Arab states. capture of Saddam Hussien, wounded to fl ee. Iraqi troops capture. were said to have fi rst used There were, however, some a member of the family. He Others were too bitter about expressing joy that the man chemical weapons, then entered people with mixed feeling did not fi ght like his sons; the fact that Hussein had who had driven them out the affected villages, dynamiting about Hussein’s capture. he went like a dog or a cave been captured by Americans of the country was out of the houses or razing them to the Most Arabs were glad that man, so they feel sorry to express any joy about his power. ground with bulldozers." Saddam was no longer in more for Arab pride than arrest. The heads of state of After his capture, Hussein was asked about the mass power and unable to threaten for the man,” said khaled M. Some Arab political many Middle Eastern graves of Iraqis that have been the Arab community Batarfi , managing editor of anyalists are choosing to look countries are threating suit Al Madina, a newspaper in at the positive sides of the against Hussein for crimes uncovered since Mr. Hussein’s anymore. But many Arabs fall from power. According to had admired Hussein’s Jidda, Saudi Arabia. In Cario events that unfolded. Avdel committed against them. Mr. Mowaffak al-Rubaie, one of confi dence when standing and other Arab cities, many Bari Taha, a Yemeni political Kuwait is the latest of several the Iraqi Council members, he up to the superpowers of the refused to believe that the anyalist believes that the countries including Iran and responded, "Ask their relatives. west. Hussien spent the past man captured was indeed resistance against U.S. forces Israel to sue the deposed They were thieves and they ran 25 years portraying himself Saddam Hussien. People in Iraq will only intensify. He Iraqui dictator. Iran and away from the battlefi elds with Iran and from the battlefi elds of in the Arab community as saw it as a cruel American also said that the U.S. will Kuwait were both attacked hoax. no longer be able to blame by Saddam, and Israel is Kuwait." With regard to Hussein’s a man not to be trifl ed with statement Dr. Chalabi said, and as a knight fi ghting for There were comments from Baathists bent on restoring seeking restution for crimes "He was not remorseful at all, all Arab states to be free of many Arabs interviewed by Saddam Hussein to power for commited against the Jewish it was clear he was a complete outside infl uence. Many The New York Times , which the attacks. “The Americans state; one of which is the narcissist who was incapable of Arabs had expected a fi nal suggested that the capture will come to realize that SCUD missle attacks of 1991. showing remorse or sympathy to showdown between Saddam of Saddam Hussein would resistance is coming from other human beings." The Rose Thorn Edited by Lissa Avery Thursday, December 18, 2003 NEEWSWS 3 Saddam: Just a man? Part III - Fall What followed over the next victorious, the offi cial confl ict Courtland Caldwell 12 years was a series of inser- was declared over, and Husse- Staff Writer tions and withdrawals of U.N. in’s power was gone. weapons inspectors. A total of Two failed attempts to de- On February 28, 1991 the 17 resolutions were passed in capitate Hussein frustrated Persian Gulf War ended and a global effort to force Hussein allied intelligence and military. Saddam Hussein endured; to give weapons-inspectors Then on July 22, 2003, allied allied troops did not march unadulterated access to sites forces killed Hussein’s sons on Baghdad. On that day and scientists. On November 8, Uday and Qusay. President George Bush senior 2002, the United Nations Secu- After months of looking wrote in his diary, "He’s got to rity Council on Saturday go." Thirteen years later Amer- unanimous- December 13, ica told her people, "Good ly adopted Operation Red 2003 Opera- riddance. The world is better resolution Dawn found a tion Red Dawn off without you, Mr. Saddam 1441 which found a man Hussein," he was offi cially a said to Iraq: man with a big with a big grey prisoner of war. "Disarm or grey beard, hid- beard, hiding The fall of the dictator began there will be in a dirty con- with the 1990 invasion (libera- serious con- ing in a dirty con- crete hole. The tion) of Kuwait, which Hussein sequences." man claimed still claims is rightfully a part Dis- crete hole. to be Saddam of Iraq. That invasion led to pleased with Hussein. He the brief Persian Gulf War. His the progress called him- army was reduced to 10% of of Iraq after the passage of self, "the President of Iraq," its former size, his nuclear 1441, George W. Bush, and and said that he "wanted to Photo by Yahoo! News program was shutdown, and American allies invaded Iraq. negotiate." Despite loud senti- inspections began. But Sad- The offi cial war was brief, sur- ment that he would fi ght to the Iraqi President Saddam Hussein warned the United States dam survived and preserved render outweighed fi ghting. death, Hussein came peace- that Baghdad was ready for war. power. America and her allies were fully. (continued from page 2) Saddam - Fall [Edited by Stephen Pierce] 2003 Feb 24 March 15 March 17 March 20 April 12 May 1 Dec 14

The US gives the Iraqi Saddam captured, The US, Brit- leader an ultimatum Saddam no longer found hiding in a nar- ain and Spain giving Saddam and in power, symbols row hole covered with circulate a draft his sons 48 hours to topple as regime bricks and dirt about 10 resolution de- fl ee or face war crumbles miles from Tikrit. claring Iraq has squandered its Saddam divides Iraq into “fi nal opportu- four military districts War begins shortly President Bush de- nity” to disarm. and puts his younger son after the 48-hour clares major combat Qusay in command of deadline passes. operations over the vital Baghhdad-Tikrit area. Campus reactions to Prosecuting Hussein’s capture Saddam the biggest effect of Hussein’s At least one Rose student with common law, Odessa Goedert capture that he has noticed was called to active duty in Courtland Caldwell constructing a judiciary Staff Writer has been a change in mood; the Middle East last year. Staff Writer system is proving he believes that Hussein’s Paul Grande, a sophomore There is overwhelming Saddam Hussein, now diffi cult. capture has shifted public electrical engineering major support for our troops in allied forces custody Typically war crime opinion of the war “from it was expected to return to Rose overseas, but the campus tribunals are handled being an impossible task to it this year, but has remained will be tried in a way that community remains largely internationally. These being a doable task.” overseas with his unit. will stand international unconcerned by Saddam tribunals have proven to HSS Department Secretary “We all know people that scrutiny, according the Hussein’s capture. Merry Chambers was elated know people that are over President Bush. "The be successful and fair in Stephen Schnelle, a junior when she heard the news there” says Sue Dayhuff, ECE Iraqis need to be very trying war crimes from CPE, said that he was excited of Hussein’s capture. “It department secretary. much involved," he said Rwanda, the former when he fi rst learned of shows that the war wasn’t for Initially, a lot of people Yugoslavia, Sierra Leone, Hussein’s capture, but that in his news conference on nothing.” hoped that the soldiers and Cambodia. These he “had other things on [his] December 15, 2003. Oddly Hussein’s capture “boosts would be coming home mind.” enough the processes for tribunals provide an morale for for Christmas because of Tom Miller, trying former government international standard Perhaps the everybody… Hussein’s capture, but they Dean of of fairness and strictly and solidifi es soon realized that for many offi cials for war crimes in Students, reason students include habeus corpus (a people’s soldiers the holiday season Iraq had been put in place agreed, are disinterested judge can order a prisoner will be spent in uniform. only fi ve days before remarking in the news is the to serve” According to Teresa Hussein’s arrest. be brought before him). that students complexity of according to Goddard, Director of According to "The Also since these tribunals have been Major Bruce Development Technical Economist" of December are international they do relatively quiet the issue and the Guggenberger, Services, current records not allow for the death about the 13, 2003, "a special diffi culty of the Rose professor show that of the 219 alumni penalty, something the situation; “It’s tribunal is being set curricula. of military in the armed forces, 26 are been really up to try top people in current Iraqi government science. serving overseas. At least uneventful.” Saddam Hussein’s regime insists remain an option seven alumni not associated Assistant Professor of for the worst offenders. recruiting for ROTC and says with the armed forces are for genocide, torture, Political Science Terrence "It will be a noble that “how patriotic the young living in the Middle East. mass slaughter, and other Casey suggested that perhaps experiment. It shows we kids are is amazing.” As the campus empties atrocities." the reason students are Although ROTC students for the holidays, students "The Economist" goes want to apply the rule of disinterested in the news is are not eligible for active are focused not on Hussein’s on to say that there is law and not let the desire the complexity of the issue duty, students in the National capture, but on friends and trouble over who will for revenge take over," and the diffi culty of the Rose Guard or the Army Reserves family. said Adnan Pachachi, a curricula. oversee the judicial can be called to active duty at member of the Governing Casey also commented that process. In a country any time. that has been so long Council. The Rose Thorn Edited by Brandon Hathaway 4 OPPINIONSINIONS Thursday, December 18, 2003 Making deals with the devil

the primary foreign I tell policy was simply the containment of you Communism. Before what to that, the Soviet Union had been an American think!!! ally in World War II. We have a long history of dealing with Brandon Hathaway unsavory regimes. Opinions Editor Many times, it was very sane and sound policy. The fi nal chapter of America’s We supported Saddam unusual relationship with because we needed an Saddam Hussein was started on ally in the Middle East Sunday. It started initially with to prevent the Soviets support, as is outlined earlier from controlling the in this paper. Many who have oil fi elds. We lost our opposed the war are waiting for previously backed the trial, when stories of this ally, Shah Pahlevi, the history will be made public, from ruler of Iran, when the both Saddam’s mouth and the Ayatollah Khomeini research that would accompany overthrew him in 1979. Fidel Castro - chicosanchez.50megs.com Josef Stalin - www.gwu.edu Manuel Noriega - www.gwu.edu his statements. Another example The implication is that many of is Manuel Noriega of and the United States. Castro, not be examined out of context, Middle East, the Soviets would the same sorts of people who were Panama, who had a similar of course, allowed Soviet missiles and because Rumsfeld was there put their money behind him or around for Saddam’s installment story to Saddam Hussein’s; he to be placed on his island, which twenty years ago on Iraqi soil to someone just like him and control are also in power now for his was supported by the CIA in sparked the closest incident the meet with Saddam Hussein, he both Iran and Iraq. Now, we have removal from power. Many of an effort to provide a bulwark world has ever come to a nuclear should not receive fl ak for it now. no serious strategic opponents them are exactly the same people. against Communist rebels that war. He has plenty of other things for to hinder our expansion of self- Donald Rumsfeld, for example, had been fi ghting in Central I do not think there is anyone that. determination. I do not see this is actually met with Hussein in America. He eventually turned who would argue that Josef Stalin Nor should America itself take hypocrisy, as some are implying. 1983, as a special envoy during against his American backers and was not a horrible butcher. I that much criticism. It was a We are now free from competition the Reagan administration. was removed and put on trial. He would also fi nd it diffi cult to different world when we chose to do what we should do, like an The hope that this will come remains in jail for drug traffi cking believe that there would be many to prop up these people. It was artist who can support himself out in a public trial from these and racketeering. who would contend that we a question of practicality; if we and experiment with truly anti-Bush and anti-war camps An interesting counterexample should not have taken advantage did not support Saddam Hussein magnifi cent things, rather than is that reminding or informing is that in 1959, Fidel Castro went of the confl ict between Nazi for the strategic infl uence in the protect his livelihood. the American public of their to Washington to try to meet Germany and past dealings with the dictator with the President of the United Communist Russia will weaken Bush’s position States, Dwight Eisenhower, who during World War for reelection, or at least bring was hosting Nikita Khrushchev, II to help destroy down people inside of the Premier of the Soviet Union. He Hitler’s Wehrmacht. administration, like Rumsfeld was sent, instead, to meet with Although this is an and Cheney. Vice-President Nixon, while extreme case, the However, this export of Khrushchev himself met with same arguments democracy, which is really kind of Castro. That moment had a very could be applied abstractly a position the United large impact in the development to the previous States has always held, has not of the relationship between support of Hussein been a pursued policy until the Cuba and the Soviet Union, and Noriega. The Bush Administration. For the which could have easily been a support of these latter half of the 20th Century, similar arrangement with Cuba brutal men should A Saddam in the hand is worth two in the Bush

Ryan Cavanaugh runaway dictator (Saddam), we’re in a lot Staff Writer worse shape than I thought. The whole change in opinion reminds This Sunday I awoke to the news that me of the tired gambler playing blackjack Saddam Hussein had been captured. Talking at a casino. Het gets dealt 12, says “Hit me!” heads immediately began proclaiming the The dealer deals him a ten. “Drat!” says the assumption that’s easy to miss. George preferably to individuals rather than end of Iraqi resistance, how this was a great gambler, “I made the wrong decision.” Next W. Bush is actually on a dune buggy collective forces whenever possible. When political win for Bush, and how we’d fi nally hand, he gets dealt a 19. “Stand!” he says somewhere in Iraq, wearing a miner’s hat, in doubt, the president is an excellent fi nd those pesky WMDs. Elsewhere on the with confi dence. The dealer turns over 12 exploring caves and peeking under rocks. fi gurehead to cite as the source of all spectrum, another pundit asks Bush why and deals himself a two and then a seven. Similarly, about a year ago he was in an good and evil in America. If he’s the most he hasn’t found Osama Bin Laden yet. The gambler loses again, seeing he would Apache helicopter scouring the landscape powerful man in the world, he might as The New York Time and CBS conducted have made 21. Fed up with his apparent in Afghanistan in search of Osama. When well be omnipotent. polls spanning the days before and after lack of skills, he leaves the table to play slots not actively pursuing crazed dictators or The disconnect of certain government Saddam’s capture. In response to the instead. terrorist masterminds, W retreats to the organizations from the Oval Offi ce is a question, “Do you approve or disapprove Foreign policy decisions are a lot like White House or his ranch in Crawford to peculiar facet of the American political of the way George W. Bush is handling blackjack. The outcome of any particular direct the military’s tactical operations. The scene. Remember Waco, Texas? Janet Reno’s foreign policy?” the numbers jumped gamble is not what makes you a good deadly cat-and-mouse game between Bush fault. Space Shuttle disaster? NASA’s fault. from a 45% approval and his enemies never ends! Booming stock market? Clinton’s genius. and 47% disapproval The President’s Wait, no. Terrorists got you down? Bush’s bungling of to a 52% approval and In reality, the President’s job as intelligence. The pattern of who gets credit 38% disapproval. More job as Commander-in-Chief of the military is like for what goes more by the roll of the dice interesting were the Bill Gates’ job at Microsoft. Bill probably rather than the facts of the issue. responses to the question Commander- hasn’t touched a line of production code End of tangent, return to thesis: “Are things in this country since he made his fi rst trillion, but that Saddam is captured, Osama’s on the run, generally going in the right in-Chief of the rarely stops us from cursing his name economy’s good, economy’s bad. What direction or have they every time Clippy auto-format our lists does Bush have to do with this? Let’s face gotten off on the wrong military is like into bulleted oblivion. We fl ip on the TV, it, the answer is, pretty much nothing. track?” Before Saddam’s see that the Dow broke 10k, Saddam is in Military battles and man-hunts are in the capture, 39% said right Bill Gates’ job at captivity, and it’s going to be sunny out domain of our military tacticians. Bush direction, 56% said wrong tomorrow. The real mastermind behind 9/ simply isn’t qualifi ed to tell them how direction. Afterwards, 49% Microsoft. 11 is still at large, we’re in the only negative to do their jobs, nor is he in the position right, 42% wrong. job growth period in American history, to. Economic cycles are the product of and it’s still pretty cold out. Who elected complex interactions between previous changed their minds in this. Bush’s foreign during his regime would be just as relevant. this guy, anyway? and current economic policies, foreign policy didn’t change from Friday to Monday. Sadly, the public cares more about Bush’s Our attachment of all things happening interactions beyond our control, and Domestically, they fact that Saddam is now short-term wins than his overall gambling both domestically and abroad to one man thousands of other factors. Blame the in a jail cell instead of hiding in a hole in strategy. is an odd thing. Americans’ favorite past butterfl y fl apping its wings for the storm, Tikrit has changed very little. If the course Somewhere in this mess is an implicit time is placing blame and assigning merit, but it won’t keep you dry. The Rose Thorn Edited by Brandon Hathaway Thursday, December 18, 2003 OPPINIONSINIONS 5 Beggars Straight Girl for the Great Guy Guile and lies permeate our culture The spirit of the season thing happened to you a couple with an angel and devil on my never allowed during the rest of Ryan Cavanaugh months ago.” She had her shoulders, I’m torn between Abby Rebhorn the year. Staff Writer excuse pre-planned: “Oh yea, I two conclusions. The angel says Staff Writer As much as I miss the have this big station wagon, it’s “Take it easy, a few rotten apples Christmas ornaments and A couple months ago I was a gas guzzler.” My friend closes doesn’t spoil the whole bunch.” It’s the holiday season again, decorations, I miss the walking from my house to my the door with the requisite “I The devil says “Yes it does, you and people are scrambling numerous charity projects car when a woman walking on don’t think so.” I’ve talked to got the saying wrong.” I think of to make them as awesome as that my family helped with the sidewalk approached me: several people who’ve had run- myself, cheated by this beggar, possible. People are sending even more. We were always “How are you?” “Good, you?” ins with this woman. and I think of the beggar, cards, buying gifts, baking out shopping for an Adopt- I replied. “Oh, I just ran out of What ever happened to the cheating me. How does it feel cookies, and visiting people a-Family, choosing gifts for gas a couple of blocks away good-ol’ fashioned “Hey man, to live from day to day on a lie? they have not seen for a long less fortunate children and on Kent. Could you spare me a spare some change?” or the America has been plagued by time. But spending all of sharing a Christmas dinner few bucks so I could get some more post-modern “Why lie, I people in higher places lying December in my dorm has with the whole family. This gas? I don’t want to leave it in want beer” sign? It’s really not to us – Enron and Worldcomm, resulted in a holiday very unlike year, all I’ve done in the spirit this neighborhood, ya know?” being begged that gets me angry. pretty much every president the ones I used to celebrate at of giving is helping to decorate I paused for a moment, asking I’ve been to big cities, seen guys since we’ve been alive, the list home. for the Lambda Chi Christmas myself what singing for goes on. Is humanity a pit of evil I spent a lot of time this party for the children of Ryves would Brian money, and lies? month remembering how my hall, and it’s less than a week Boitano do. O mankind, why hast sitting on a This is the part where I list Christmases used to be, and before Christmas! I’m seriously She was thou forsaken my milk crate all the great things that people along with all of the decorations probably asking for do for other people. I asked a making this belief in thy soul? money, bunch of people in the Thorn up, but she d oing offi ce and we couldn’t come looked pretty Lo, I am cheated back-flips up with much. Silvia pointed shaken so for money, out that we built the Grand I fi gured it of three dollars! but never Canyon, and it’s pretty cool. was at least been lied to Actually, I can come up with a stockings. reasonable. for money. lot of things that people do for Thinking I gave her three dollars and Is this necessary? When I saw me that I appreciate, but it’s went on my way. Fast forward this woman for the second time, my own list. If you fi nd yourself to last Friday. I’m at my friend’s I felt a wide range of emotions. feeling down on the world, take “holiday house for poker night when the Most importantly, I wanted my a deep breath, and list all the spirit” this doorbell rings. There’s the exact three bucks back. After that things that people do for you. happy-corp.softcoin.com year, I’ve same woman, harping the exact came regret – why did I fall for it? I guarantee it’ll be longer than goodness come to same story. Furious at both my I should have trusted my jaded you think. feelings. In fact, I’m feeling realize that I’m not content own stupidity at falling for it side. Finally, the realization that The moral of the story is, rather disappointed in my with the amount of giving I’ve earlier and her gall to be trying my trust in humanity had been if a woman with blonde hair, severe lack of holiday spirit. done during the rest of the year, the same story just a few blocks betrayed. O mankind, why hast glasses, and a Chicago Bulls On a good day, my dorm either. I’ve been so focused on from my own house, I stepped thou forsaken my belief in thy jacket says her car is out of gas, room smells like Easy-Mac or passing my systems classes in front of the two friends who soul? Lo, I am cheated of three tell her Ryan wants his three laundry detergent. I used to and making enough money answered the door and said dollars! bucks back and send her on come home from school in the for those gorgeous boots I “That’s funny, the exact same Like a cartoon character her way. cold and snow to wonderful want that I’ve almost entirely smells of hot cocoa and cookies forgotten how awesome it feels and pine trees. We had so to make someone else’s day. Saddam needs to many holiday decorations that The craziness of my college we’d designate one “project” days has pushed charitable be tried in Iraq for each day—there were volunteer work towards the the boxes of snowmen, the bottom of my priority list. various wreaths for every door This is something that I regret and damage even further not to pursue the death penalty in the house, and even special every day of the year, not just the legitimacy of the military should fall entirely on the Iraqis. Brandon Hathaway towels that we’d hang in the during the holiday season. occupation. For an army Hussein committed his crimes Opinions Editor bathrooms. There is always someone in caught in a guerrilla confl ict, against them and sentencing My favorite part of the need, someone without heat Right now, while the world’s they need a few things to stoke should be exclusively their season was the huge tree that or water, someone that could attention is on a genocidal the fi re. prerogative. The UN has we’d buy each year and cover benefi t from a little goodwill. dictator, another genocidal Iraqis need Hussein to be tried already publicly stated that with ornaments that we had So as the craziness of your dictator is before a tribunal at outside of a UN court the most. they will not participate in a made over the years. It wasn’t life here at Rose-Hulman The Hague. Slobodan Milosevic This is their chance to learn how trial, even in an assisting role, the most glamorous of trees, continues throughout this was arrested two years ago to conduct a trial in the fairest if the sentence could possibly but it was really special. This upcoming year, remember to and a verdict is still far from manner, and take a critical step result in the death penalty. If year, I have a tiny fake tree with spread a little compassion and being reached. If Hussein is towards a real representative the UN decides to sit this one no sentimental ornaments and grace to those around you. Just turned over to United Nations, form of government. There out because the Iraqi court no pine-fresh smell. I also because the holiday season is a similar situation will result; is no doubt anywhere that might ask for it, then they are miss the Christmas CDs that coming to an end, you don’t the UN’s bureaucracy is a deep Hussein will be found guilty. missing a huge opportunity we played over and over again, have to stop acting out of one. A long trial would allow For this reason, he should be to do the duty that the even during dinner, which was generosity. Saddam to make a mockery of afforded every opportunity to organization was created to the Court much like Milosevic be found not guilty to illustrate perform. Due to the nature of is (he is even acting as his own exactly what due process is to the organization, the UN has attorney). a nation that has never seen an obligation to assist a nation Letter to Editor A long trial that does not show it. This when it has the clear and decisive respect for could The decision to esources to do Rose Thorn, While there may never before the law and legal system is not be the o. have been a serious injury good for the American public, best pursue or not Simply put, What is this Ice Season, you resulting from a slip on an icy the American soldiers, and thing to pursue the he United ask? This Season begins each staircase, why wait until such most of all the Iraqi people. Saddam States would be year after the fi rst snowfall when a tragedy occurs before taking The drawbacks for us as has ever death penalty committing an students head to classes, bundled preventative measures? I fi nd Americans would center around done egregious error up against the cold air, cautiously it beyond belief that myself and the traditional American for his should fall entirely n permitting placing their feet as they move every other student here are impatience with foreign people. an organization about campus. Ice Season is paying enormous sums of money matters; diffi cult and drawn This on the Iraqis. hat is not Iraqi when we discover that many of to attend a school at which we are out events are diffi cult on our also o take the lead the sidewalks and stairs about required to walk outdoors to move culture because of how fast helps to restore the Iraqi in putting Saddam on trial. campus are coated in ice, creating about, and yet the pathways we we have become accustomed sense of national dignity. If This will give a brutalized hazardous walking conditions for must traverse in wintertime are to seeing information travel. Iraq leads the effort to try people hope to see that there everyone. insuffi ciently maintained. However, we, as a culture, also him, they assert the ability to is fairness in store for them in When I wrote this on December I am not calling for the like to see justice served. There govern themselves well. There the future by giving a voice to 15th, snowfall (a whole half-inch!) construction of underground is a reason why you still hear OJ should be no American visibly those who have been silenced had ceased about thirty-six hours tunnels connecting buildings; jokes. If the UN were to permit assisting in this effort, but for so long. The United States previously. Yet as I walked about Terre Haute’s climate doesn’t a court to degrade into a circus there should be international should not visibly take part, campus, ice was everywhere: require such an extreme measure. atmosphere like Milosevic’s, consultants. Legal experts from but we should be able to have Upon the stairs leading from the However, is it too much to ask then the American public will Poland, Japan, Spain and/or a voice in selecting those who Myers lot to Moench; upon the for that, on the mornings after a lose more faith in the UN’s Egypt should be there for this will carry out justice. A legal stairs between Hadley and the snowfall, we students can have abilities. historic undertaking. The fi rst system that the average Iraqi Commons entrance, a very the pleasure of walking about The American (and allied) three have committed men person can have faith in will be heavily traveled path; upon the campus on ice-free sidewalks and soldiers stand to risk if Hussein and materiel to the cause and a requisite cornerstone in the stairs between the Commons and staircases? is tried by someone other than Egypt puts on an Arab face on success of the new Iraqi state, the Help Desk entrance; in a sheet Arabs. It will appear to Middle- the trial. and that is good for Iraqi and on the sidewalk under Sammy’s Dave Honan Easterners as victor’s justice The decision to pursue or American alike. offi ce. CE ‘05 The Rose Thorn Edited by Bob Schulein 6 ENNTERTAINMENTTERTAINMENT Thursday, December 18, 2003 Lord of the Rings:

http://willburnham.gerenm.net Excited fans line up in the morning for a midnight screening of “Return of the King.” Rose students horde premiere Jared Sands and Melissa Melvin. 7 have been seated. Bob Schulein They just arrived a bit ago, but The arcades are empty; Co-Editor-in-Chief are still much earlier than most posters advertising new movies of the crowd. They are very sit silently on the wall, unnoticed Tuesday, 10:10 p.m. - ShowPlace enthusiastic about the movie. by the masses. 12 parking lot “[ROTK] is the best story I reach the one guy behind the I pull up in my car to the imagined coming to life,” says ticket register and chat. He says slightly empty Kerasotes Sands. that the four theaters screening ShowPlace 12 parking lot. I’m “It’s more hot elf time,” Melvin “ROTK” are the largest in the expecting the place to be packed adds jokingly. Sands playfully building, holding 300 people based on my prior interviews argues with her about the each. There are only 20 seats in with students going to the “hotness” of Orlando Bloom. the house not sold, he explains, midnight screenings of “Lord of Apparently, a large majority of and only because of safety the Rings: Return of the King.” Rose girls think Bloom is very hot, violations. The last ticket sold Everyone seemed so pumped as evidenced by the rest of the out at 7:00 p.m. tonight. and worried about getting seats. girls I talk to over the course of the 11:26 p.m. – Concessions Stand I fl ash my ticket to a theater night. One girl, here with some All I’ve done for the last hour employee as I walk into the guy friends, is not allowed to say and a half is talk to people about lobby. He smiles but tells me Bloom’s name during the movie. how excited they are about I can’t bring my backpack into “They’ll hit me if I do!” she cries. this. The whole atmosphere is the building. I explain that I’m a 10:50 p.m. - Lobby contagious – “LOTR” fever is reporter here to write about the One of the guys who was easy to catch. level of fanaticism surrounding looking after my backpack fi nds I notice the fi rst character the fi lm’s release. He agrees but me and tells me that theater 1 – a young woman dressed up needs to search my bag. had been opened up for seating. in Hobbit gear, complete with The employee fi nds my still He saved a spot for me. I go to hairy slippers. I’m surprised that camera and tells me that there is the theater and check out the there aren’t any more displays of no photography allowed inside spot. Row 5, center. This is affection like this around here. I the building. I explain that it great! I thank them kindly and was expecting much more. would be a shame to publish this go back to interviewing. Rose student Joe Reese is as story without a picture of all the I see some shirts with excited as anybody else about RHA scores a hit craziness. After a talk with the unfamiliar Greek letters walking the movie. “It’s going to be better manager, my request is denied by and getting into line. The than ‘The Matrix,’” he says. said Katie Walter, RHA Off- and I am camera-less. lobby is getting more packed Sophomore Justin Droba Bob Schulein Campus Committee Chair. Four theaters are gearing up now. There are eleven people counters, “I think I could make Co-Editor-in-Chief RHA had a booth set up in for the midnight shows. I am working the concessions stand. a better movie than the third the Union on Monday where kindly directed over to theater The lines are long enough to ‘Matrix.’” The two are among a The Residence Hall students could pay for and 1, which has the shortest line keep them all busy. I see some group of 28 from New Res and Association (RHA) offered pick up tickets. If students of seven people. People walk faces I recognize back in line for Deming who bought tickets. on-campus students a couldn’t pick them up at that by as I go over my questions. theater 7. With the RHA 100 (see story), great opportunity – to see a time, they could contact an “You excited about the movie?” Junior Jim Pryzbylinski says, and other Rose students I’ve midnight opening showing of RHA member to make other one passing voice asks our line “The last two LOTR movies were seen, I’m guessing that more “Return of the King” for only arrangements. According to passionately. His voice fades out incredibly good. These books than a fourth of the people $3.00. RHA Walter, 98 asking the front theater 3’s line are considered the basis for most here are from Rose. And that’s a bought 100 “We knew we’d get tickets had about the “LOTR” card game. fantasy worlds.” His roommates conservative estimate. tickets from a good response for been claimed A gang of two guys and a girl in watched the extended cuts of 11:55 p.m. – Theater 1 Kerasotes at before the their late 20s talk casually about the previous movies to prepare People are restless in the the full price of ‘LOTR’ because it’s m i d nigh t old movies and inquire about the for “ROTK.” theater. A theater employee tells $7.50 per ticket showings. latest fl icks. Their conversation, A voice interrupts my everyone to move to the middle of and offered Rose.” The extra naturally, turns to an excited interview: “Anybody by the rows so that people can fi nd students the $4.50 per “LOTR” discussion. They kindly themselves?” it asks. The voice empty seats. Two ISU fraternity chance to ticket comes oblige to look after my backpack turns a little desperate. “All my members wrestle in row 2. When’s reserve them --RHA Off-Campus from the $10 and save my place in line as I bros are in this theater. I’ll trade this thing going to start? through a Committee Chair R esidence go to interview people about you seats.” He holds up a ticket, 12:03 a.m. website. Hall fee all the movie and their reasons for but nobody answers. It’s time to start… where’s An e-mail Katie Walter on campus showing up so early. Security is surprisingly tight. the movie? People are pretty with the link students pay 10:35 p.m. - Theater 7 line A theater employee is in front of frustrated. A theater attendant was sent out each quarter. “I went to ‘The Two Towers’ an every theater checking tickets. comes in and tells everyone it’ll at 3:45 p.m. last Friday. In Of that $10, $5 goes to fl oor hour early and barely got good 11:10 p.m. - Ticket counter start soon. just over an hour, all 100 money, and the rest goes to seats,” says Rose student Sarah Three girls are on a bench 12:10 a.m. tickets had been claimed. An events such as this one that Hedgeman. “It’s the movie chatting away as their dates get The lights slowly dim and the additional 50 requests came in are planned by RHA. version of my favorite book!” food from concessions. There is crowd is ecstatic. The trailers for backup spots. “We know RHA will have many more she adds enthusiastically. only one person collecting tickets seem far too long, and then fi nally, we’d get a good response for events such as this one in the Sarah is sitting on the ground and telling people which theater the wait is over, and the music “LOTR” because it’s Rose,” future. Stay tuned. with two of her friends, Juniors to go to. All of the theaters except plays to an awe-struck theater. The Rose Thorn Edited by Bob Schulein Thursday, December 18, 2003 ENNTERTAINMENTTERTAINMENT & Jacob P. Silvia7 Return of the King

imdb.com The character of Gimli, son of Gloin, played by John Rhys-Davies, was one of the funnier charac- ters in the series, delivering comical one-liners throughout the fi lms. Long live “the King”

in one way or another in "Lord smoothly, allowing people not Jacob P. Silvia of the Rings: The Return of the interested in Tolkien’s religious Entertainment Editor King." It may be interesting to past to be totally free of feeling note that I utilized these same "preached at," much like Recently, one of the larger criteria when judging "Kill Bill, Tolkien intended. aspects of modern pop-culture Volume One." Granted, the movie attained fi nality. December 17 "Return of appealed to was the fi rst day for the general the King" is the the die-hard populace to view the last part most recent box Tolkien fan of this masterpiece triad. This offi ce sensation (you know week marks a possible end of directed by Peter the guy: he something beginning in 1954; Jackson ("Dead read "The though I’m sure people said Alive"), starring Silmarillion" that about the novel, about Elijah Wood, Viggo twice before the animated series, about any Mortensen, Ian you fi nished other iteration of this work by McKellen, and "Green Eggs Tolkien. others. It is based & Ham.") by Of course, I’m sure you’re on the Tolkien representing convinced that this article novel of the same with imagery will be very biased. I assure name, and is quite what Tolkien you, such is the case with a symbol of fi delity described imdb.com most reviews, especially as far as books to with words, Frodo Baggins (Wood) stares Epic sounds for your aural pleasure those written by people with movies go. but at the down the giant spider Shelob. your door because you were too opinions. Though, unlike some It follows the same time, Jacob P. Silvia “cheap” to buy such wonderful opinions, this one is based on fragments of the appealing music. some very good reasons. fellowship as they go their to the modern Tolkien fan by Entertainment Editor Show your love for Middle In order to determine separate ways. Frodo (Wood) giving the characters witty If you loved the movie, odds Earth by supporting those who whether or not a movie is and Sam (Sean Astin) head one-liners and banter, and are, you’ll love the soundtrack. helped make it all the more a "good movie," one must towards Mt. Doom to destroy speeding the chronology a bit. It’s chock-full of those wonderful real: go out and get yourself, establish a set of criteria. Mine the infernal ring of power. Thus, it is the amalgamation melodies that graced your ears your friends, your family, and go as such: the story fl ows, Gandalf (McKellen), Aragorn that can unite generations: the during the time you watched even your the plot is (Mortensen), parent, having fi rst read the “Return of the loved ones a interesting, Legolas "Lord of the Rings" novels at King.” copy of this the struggle (Orlando the age their child is currently, With music album, if is apparent, Bloom), going to see the "Lord of the composed by you do favor the and Gimli Rings" movies with their Howard Shore, exceptional characters (John Rhys- children. a prominent music. Of are Davies) meet Even if you think that this movie music course, the memorable, up fi nally is like any movement that composer, gift-giving the dialogue with Merry has simply gotten out of you’re holiday is coherent, (Dominic hand, I suggest this: don’t guaranteed season is just the acting is Monaghan) knock it unless you’ve tried at least around the authentic, and Pippin it. If you have seen the "Lord eleven tracks corner, so the (Billy Boyd) of the Rings" movies, and of music- why not tell soundtrack imdb.com shortly after simply hated them, I can listening that special fi ts the Eowyn of Rohan (Miranda Otto). the fall of respect that, but if you have pleasure. As someone mood, I Isengard. not seen them, yet insist on with most that you care am willing to suspend my They attempt to unite the continually bashing them original soundtracks, this deluxe by giving them music that won’t disbelief, I would enjoy lands of Rohan and Gondor as trivial, childish ways to album also includes some severely damage their auditory watching the movie again, and in an epic struggle against the pander to some desired trait memorable quotes from the sensors? the most important criterion— evil forces of Mordor. of entertainment, I suggest movie. Your mission, should you even if I am starving, tired, or This movie contains the sub- you give it a chance, and At just under twenty dollars choose to accept it is to add this desperately need to use the rosa allusions and simulacra watch the "Lord of the Rings" with enhanced features, to buy (and quite possibly the other facilities, I do not want the condoned and practiced by movies. There is a very good this album is to buy music well "Lord of the Rings" soundtracks movie to end. Tolkien when he fi rst wrote chance that you will not be composed with a high aesthetic to boot) to your CD library. Needless to say, these "The Lord of the Rings," and disappointed. value. Besides, it beats having What is stopping you, really? criteria all were far surpassed manages to pull it off rather the RAA lawyers knocking down The Rose Thorn Edited by Jacob P. Silvia 8 ENNTERTAINMENTTERTAINMENT Thursday, December 18, 2003 Hungry for Harry, Volume One For your added entertainment, we’ve which will provide some news trio (Radcliffe, Watson, and added to Entertainment! Have a nice Courtland Caldwell of on goings in the Potter world Grint) after movie three as Chris Staff Writer and feature a book review about Columbus originally speculated, break. Happy holidays! books I expect all Potter fans will all three have been asked and June 4, 2004 is a very important enjoy tremendously. agreed to continue their roles in date indeed: the release of On Goings: for those of you who "Goblet of Fire." "Harry Potter and the Prisoner were unaware, Potter number Book Review: "Artemis Fowl," Year in Review: Top Ten Albums of Azkaban" movie starring 3, "The Prisoner of Azkaban," is "Artemis Fowl and the Artic popularly considered Rowling’s Incident," and "Artemis Fowl and “Give Up.” This is quite possibly Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, best work, not that I agree. Unlike the Eternity Code" are as a series a Adrian Throop the best synth-pop album to ever Rupert Grint, and most of the the fi rst two fi lms which were phenomenal place for Potter fans exist. cast members of the earlier Staff Writer Potter fi lms, with the addition of directed by Chris Columbus, to turn if seeking to escape once 5. The Shins Michael Gambon who replaces "Azkaban" is being directed by more into the magical world’s 10. Broadcast “Chutes Too Narrow” “Haha Sound” the late Richard Harris as Head Alfonso Cuarón, who directed "Y of children authors’ minds. The Recorded in songwriter Master Albus Dumbledore, Gary Tu Mamá También" and "A Little three books, which follow the Phenomenally known for James Mercer’s basement, most their continuous stream of Oldman who plays Sirius Black, Princess." Radcliffe, who plays growth and development of one expected the Shins’ “Chutes and David Thewlis who plays the character Harry Potter, has Artemis Fowl, the childhood unstoppable electronic music Too Narrow” to be in the same releases, Warp Records has been Professor Remus J. Lupin. And if made public his view that despite leader of a European crime mix-tape song category as their you’re anything like me, a crazed his love for Columbus, Cuarón syndicate introduces wonderful quietly releasing albums for fi rst release. It is not a shame distorted, noise oriented rockers Potter-fanatic you’ve already has been more successful at characters including a short that most have been proven watched the trailer (available capturing the highly emotional tempered male elf, Commander Broadcast for almost 5 years. This wrong. “Chutes Too Narrow” is year’s full length release, “Haha at www.azkaban.com) at least a nature of the scenes in "Azkaban" Julius Root, a frustrated female a non-stop west coast indie pop dozen times. But what can Potter than Columbus achieved in LEPRecon, Holly Short; a wise- Sound,” is a joyride of upbeat exploration of being a weird kid sounds for those late night trips fans due to quench their thirst in "Sorcerer’s Stone" or "Chamber ass centaur, Folly; a kleptomaniac in a normal world. The guitar the post "Azkaban" movie time of Secrets." Cuarón will not direct dwarf, Mulch Diggums; and in a foggy wilderness. The songs hooks are inescapably great, and speak of the pains of love and a frame, after all "Goblet of Fire" "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Artemis’s butler, Butler. The three Mercer’s lyrics keep you listening won’t hit the silver screen until Fire" handing the reins over to books, written by Eoin Colfer, lonely existence, but do it in such again and again. an optimistic manner as to make 2005 and "Order of the Phoenix" Mike Newell who has directed are a dynamite contribution to anyone wish for a broken heart. 4. Manitoba will not arrive until 2007, such acclaimed fi lms as "Mona the community of books that “Up In Flames” according to www.imdb.org. To Lisa Smile," "Donnie Brasco," mix modern human society 9. Belle & Sebastian This is probably the most fan the fl ames of fan’s impatience and "Four Weddings and a with a similarly complex magical “Dear Catastrophe Waitress” beautiful album of the year. Rowling continues her persistent Funeral." This is largely due to community, are quick reads Tired of Matador Records, Driven by electronic melodies, refusal to commit to any writing the tremendous task of making (slightly shorter than the early Belle and Sebastian sign to a loops, and samples, “Up In schedule for books six and seven, "Goblet of Fire," which will be Potter books), and are totally more local Rough Trade Records Flames” puts you in a fantasy the last two books in the series. If expensive, time consuming, and diverting. The fi rst two books are and proceed to release one of world where no one can touch this crisis will ail you then let this technically challenging, due available in paper back. their best albums to date. For you. The songs somehow build mini-column serve as a crutch mostly in part to the Tri-Wizard Like Potter all of these books the fi rst time, their sound has your self confi dence without for the next couple months. Tournament that takes place will be loosely categorized as a noticeable change. They’ve chorus or verse, just soundscapes. I plan to publish three articles in Harry’s fourth year. Also you young adult fi ction and should left behind the nasty, 60’s tear The fl exibility of the album is also in The Rose Thorn under the can feel reassured that Potter prove entirely easy reading. everyone else’s heart out for your one of its strongest points, as the title "Hungry for Harry" each of fans won’t be losing the child own sleeve edge and replaced songs allow for dancing along or it with a neighboring more falling peacefully asleep. After 70’s Fleetwood Mac sounding hearing “Up In Flames” you will melodies. never underestimate a blip or 8. Bishop Allen bloop again. “Charm School” 3. Radiohead The top super-indie “Hail to the Thief” underground release of the year In a certain sense, “Hail to comes from Boston’s Bishop the Thief” is Radiohead’s only Allen. Named for the street experimental album to date. The the band members live on in band threw away their normal Cambridge, Bishop Allen’s songs recording technique of hundreds are pure indie pop, laced with of reels of tape made from choruses that stick in your head months of recording in a barn in as well as any early Beatles’ Oxford in favor of only two weeks song might. “Things Are What of recording in Los Angeles. You Make of Them” is the The result proves Radiohead’s album’s gem, and matched with genius, as the songs are just songs such as “Emerald City,” as complicated and layered as “Charm School” is deserving of anything you will hear on “OK the “Wizard of Oz” feel that it Computer” or “Kid A” while being creates. just as rock accessible as songs 7. Blur you hear on “The Bends.” Did you know...? “Think Tank” 2. Madlib This is the Blur album for “Shades of Blue” everyone. If you have always This has to be Blue Note loved Blur, “Think Tank” explores Record’s best hip hop release electronic avenues untouched ever, as it may well be their only by earlier Blur albums while still one. Hip hop guru Madlib has Pizza represents retaining their angst. If you have taken selections from Blue Note’s always despised Blur, this album archive and remixed them with is not a guitar frenzied brit-pop added beats and vocals. In turn, experience, as it leaves behind “Shades of Blue” has become those 90’s rock conventions the defi ning gap between jazz making their sound quite and hip hop. At the same time, the food pyramid to a T. modern and accessible. If you “Shades of Blue” puts Madlib a think Blur is just what happens step above everyone else in the when you wake up too early, hip hop world, for the album has know that “Think Tank” is highly a timeless feel, accessible to any infl uenced by songwriter Damon genre of music fan. Alburn’s recent work on the Gorillaz project, as much of what 1. The New Pornographers he did with Gorillaz is refl ected “The Electric Version” on “Think Tank.” Power pop from Canada is probably the simplest and most 6. The Postal Service rudimentary way to defi ne the Extra Large 1234 WABASH AVE. One Large “Give Up“ New Pornographers sound. In This is the album no one saw actuality, they play their pop One-Topping One-Topping coming. Jimmy Tamborello of escapades with layered guitars Store Hours... Dntel and Ben Gibbard of Death and harmonic vocals that turn Mon-Wed: 9am - 1am Cab for Cutie decided, for some any time of day into a fun fi lled Thurs-Sat: 9am - 2am odd reason, to start mailing each adventure. Above all albums 99 Sunday: 12pm - 12am 99 Campus Only Campus Only other pieces of music, hearing released this year, “The Electric ONLY ONLY what the other had done, adding 9 7 Version” is that album that to it, and then mailed it back. Limited Delivery Area - Coupon Required Limited Delivery Area - Coupon Required sounds absolutely spectacular ORIGINAL OR THIN CRUST WHERE ORIGINAL OR THIN CRUST WHERE This process happened enough no matter what your mood, no AVAILABLE Expires: 5/28/04. Not valid AVAILABLE Expires: 5/28/04. Not valid so that 10 unstoppable songs with any other offer. Valid only at participat- with any other offer. Valid only at participat- matter what time of day. ing locations. Customer pays all applicable 232-PAPA ing locations. Customer pays all applicable now exist on an album called salex tax. Additional toppings extra. salex tax. Additional toppings extra. The Rose Thorn Edited by Josh Annin Friday, December 18, 2003 SPPORTSORTS 9

MEN’S BASKETBALL (6-3) WOMEN’S BASKETBALL (4-6) Last Week: Last Week: Anderson University 66, Rose- Rose-Hulman 62, Robert Morris- Hulman 60 – The men lost a close Springfi eld 55 – The Engineers battle at Anderson Saturday, led found another win Sunday, this one by senior Jason Ludwig, who put over Robert-Morris Springfi eld. up 15 points and pulled down Off to a slow start, they were seven rebounds. kicked into gear by a 23-8 run to end Junior Philip Griffi th the fi rst half. The spurt was started contributed 13 points and six with fi ve points by Jessica Farmer boards, while Evan Ballinger and capped by three more. Janae came off the bench to supply Chaney also hit a pair of threes in the nine points and four assists. run to fi nish with eight points. The Engineers maintained a Amanda Sheehe and Rebekah slim advantage in the middle of Forsyth peppered the run with the second half, but a 9-2 run free throws to keep the Engineers in the closing minutes was all moving. Anna Hall was the team’s Anderson needed to edge out the leading scorer, with 16 points and victory. six rebounds. Forsyth put up numbers all No. 3 Hanover 62, Rose- over the fl oor, with 14 points, 15 Hulman 46 – The Engineers put rebounds, fi ve assists, and six up quite a fi ght through the fi rst blocked shots. half, holding four leads. Photo Courtesy Rose-Hulman Junior Civil Phil Griffi th hit Rose-Hulman 66, Blackburn 15 points and picked up nine Sophomore Tom Aigner is currently 9-1 this season thanks to his 2-0 fi nish at the RHIT Duals last friday. College 53 – The Rose-Hulman rebounds to lead the team. women won again: This marks the Munchie Muskeyvalley added 14 ATHLETES OF ACCOMPLISHMENT WRESTLING fi rst time the program has won four points, including three for three M. Basketball: Last week: out of fi ve games. from three-point land in the fi rst Kareem Lee leads the Southern Athletic Rose-Hulman 0-2 in Rose- Another record the team set was half. With nine minutes to go in Conference in offensive rebounds (28), Hulman Duals – Sophomore 13 blocked shots, seven of those by the fi rst half, Rose-Hulman took total rebounds (68), and steals (21). He standout Tom Aigner (197 Rebekah Forsyth. She fi nished the a 22-21 lead, but turnovers made also tops the team in minutes and is lbs) earned two wins for game with another double-double, things diffi cult down the stretch. second in assists. the Engineer effort Friday scoring 20 and rebounding 12. Hanover’s 18-3 run in the evening, but the team fell More scoring was provided by middle of the second half put the W. Basketball: short to Olivet 35-9 and Jessica Farmer (17) and Anna Hall game out of reach. Rebekah Forsyth was named the SCAC William Penn 47-6. (11), who each pulled down four Player of the Week after setting career highs Other Engineer winners boards. Although out-rebounded 31- This week: in blocked shots (6) and assists (5), while were Collin Wyse (174) with 33 by Blackburn, the Engineers shot a Rose-Hulman vs. Franklin scoring 14 points with a perfect 4-4 at the a 9-6 decision and Byron respectable 42% in the fi rst half, and College (6-0) – Thurs., Dec. 18, line over Robert Morris-Springfi eld. She Sanders (184) at 9-3. an amazing 64% in the second. 7:30 p.m. at Hulbert Arena (Terre topped that performance Tuesday with 20 Haute, Ind.) points, seven blocked shots and six assists! This week: This week: Rose-Hulman vs. DePauw Rose-Hulman at Citrus Rose-Hulman at College of Mount University (5-2, 0-0 SCAC) Wrestling: Open Tournament, Duals St. Joseph (2-4) – Sat., Dec. 20, 2 p.m. – Mon., Jan. 5, 8 p.m. at Hulbert Tom Aigner fi nished 2-0 at the RHIT – Friday-Sunday, Dec. 29-31 at Harrington Center Gymnasium Arena (Terre Haute, Ind.) Duals and is 9-1 this season. His only loss in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. (Cincinnati, Ohio) was to a Div. II U. of Indianapolis wrestler. IUPUI routs Tri-State by 52 By Ben Leatherbury Jaguars were hitting on all little help from the rest of an impressive win over The loss dropped the The IUPUI Sagamore (Indiana cylinders. his team with no one else in Lipscomb on Dec. 1, moved Jaguars to 4-1, with a tough U. - Purdue U. at Indianapolis) IUPUI led at the half 58- double fi gures. Tri-State shot IUPUI to 4-0, its best record schedule ahead. The team 12/15/2003 36 and left no doubt by 30 percent from the fi eld for since moving to Division I. has away games at Dayton opening the second half the game as the Thunder fell The team then traveled and West Virginia over (U-WIRE) INDIANAPOLIS with the fi rst nine points. to 2-2 on the season. to Vanderbilt to play the Christmas break. - The benches were Odell Bradley came out IUPUI shot a blistering 55 Commadores on Dec. 3. The next home game emptied as 14 different strong in the second half percent from the fi eld and The Jaguars led at halftime, for the Jaguars is in the players scored in the 112- scoring the fi rst six points out-rebounded Tri-State, but despite their best effors Holiday Classic against 60 rout of Tri-State by for the Jaguars on his way 59-29. The Jaguars also had IUPUI fell 86-68. Ball State Dec. 20. Indiana University-Purdue to a team-high 18 points. a 34-13 free throw attempt Bradley dropped in 25 The Jaguars then depart University at Indianapolis The Thunder fell apart in advantage. points and 11 points for the for the Rainbow Classic on Nov. 29. the second half as IUPUI The bigger and more Jaguars. The Commadores’ in Hawaii Dec. 27-30. The Jaguars overpowered forced numerous turnovers athletic IUPUI outhustled strength and height The team will play East the visitors by outscoring and cashed them in almost and outplayed the Thunder, advantage proved to be too Tennesee State in the fi rst them 60-20 in the paint and every time for fastbreak resulting in the blowout win. much for the smaller but round of the tournament. using suffocating defense to points. For the game, the The win, coupled with quicker Jaguars. force 20 turnovers. Jaguars forced 20 turnovers Tri-State stayed close by and scored 33 points off shooting over the IUPUI them. defense in the opening IUPUI had six players in Open 7 days minutes of the half with a 10- double fi gures in points 9 lead. The Jaguars countered and got strong play out by trapping and pressing full of their reserves off the a week. court on defense. bench. Blair Crawford Tri-State couldn’t handle had his best game of the the pressure as the Thunder season, scoring 15 points 4001 Wabash Avenue turned the ball over four and shooting 75 percent CallCall 238-7711238-711 forfor times in a row leading to a from 3-point range. Terre Haute, IN 47803 22-14 lead for IUPUI. The Transfer Akeem Clark also Appointment Jaguars continued their had a great game off the (812)(812) 238-771238-7711 strong play by running the bench scoring 12 points, Walk-Ins are Accepted score to 31-17 on a 3-pointer most of which came from the On-site x-ray and lab. by Brandon Cole. game-deciding fi rst half run. Quick ball movement by Eric Koncz led all scorers IUPUI led to open 3-pointers with 22 points for the losing Medical Treatment for Minor Illnesses and Injuries. around the perimeter as the Tri-State squad, but had Edited by Nicole Hartkemeyer The Rose Thorn 1100 NEEWSWS Thursday, December 18, 2003 Christmas time to party Centennial continued gave each child a t-shirt and a “He promised to wear safety gear John Kropf small gift as he listened to their with it,” said Iles. from page 1 . . . Staff Writer Christmas wishes. Santa then Also on December read The Night Before Christmas 13, the Rose-Hulman facilities The holidays are here and with the children. “There were offi ce was fi lled with volunteers there have been quite a few 25 kids signed up ages 4 to 15,” assembling large bicycles, small charity events and parties for Olecki said. bicycles with training wheels, and campus organizations. ATO A week later, Lambda tricycles. The bicycles were paid and Chi Omega held a benefi t Chi Alpha held a joint party with for by the Exchange Club of Terre for the Big Brothers / Big Sisters Delta Delta Delta for the kids of Haute’s main fundraising event; organization on Dec 7. Lambda Ryves Hall. Ryves hall, located a pledge-a-thon in parterniship Chi Alpha and Delta Delta on the corner of 13th and Locust with 100.7 MIX-FM. Callers Delta held a benefi t for the streets, is a youth center for pledged money for their songs children of Ryves hall on Dec disadvantaged children in Terre to be played on the radio. 350 of 13. The Rose-Hulman staff had Haute. 23 Children ages 6-12 the bikes assembled on Saturday a family Christmas party that attended the party. The children will be given to families in Vigo, same weekend and volunteers were invited to play a game of Sullivan and Clark counties. assembled bikes in the facilities musical chairs shortly after they The main holiday offi ce for the Bikes for Tykes got to the house. Afterwards, event for the Rose Hulman program. The staff departments they were ushered to the formal faculty and staff is the Family held open houses this week, and room, where Frankie Anderson Christmas Party. “All employees students were provided a venue waited in a Santa suit. Veronica are welcome,” said Linda Gilbert, in which to wrap their gifts on Ramieri, from Delta Delta Delta, Assistant to the President. “Dr. Photo courtesy photovault.com Wednesday, with Build-A-Bear played Mrs. Claus. Each child Hulbert plays Santa”. Dr. Hulbert representatives present. It has was given a present that he gives each child under age 10 a A sketch of the Wright brother’s historic accomplishment in 1903. This week marked the beginning of a year-long celebration of a century of been an active Christmas season or she asked for. The chapter small $5 gift in the Kahn room of human aviation. at Rose-Hulman. receives Christmas lists from the the Union. There is a dinner for Alpha Tau Omega and kids ahead of time and purchases the families in the main dining After their fi rst successful the evolution of aircraft: The Chi Omega partnered to hold a unique gifts for each child from room after the children see fl ight, the Wright brothers wingspan of a 747 jumbo jet benefi t for local children involved the lists, at about $10 to $15 per Santa. The choir sings Christmas set up their own company is 91 feet longer than the fi rst with the Big Brothers / Big Sisters child. Money for the event is carols at the event. Each child is to manufacture and sell fl ight by the Wright brothers. program. The children were collected from the members of invited to come to the front and airplanes. The Model B seated The goal of the Centennial invited to bring their big brothers Lambda Chi Apha, which has sing a song before the event is two people and had a range of Flight should be to take or sisters and their parents hosted a Christmas party for over. of up to 50 miles. Next came control of fl ying back from as well. There were plenty of underprivileged children for the The staff departments the DC-3, making its fi rst fl ight business travelers, commuters, activities to keep the children last 30 years, according to Bob also held open houses this week in 1936 and being the fi rst and air mail carriers, giving busy. The hosts fi rst helped Iles, the Chapter Vice President of for faculty, staff, and work study passenger aircraft that could it to everyone who has ever the children make Christmas Pulbic Relations. “We get a lot of students. According to Linda be profi table by only carrying marveled at the wonders of ornaments. “We helped them requests for sports equipment,” Gilbert, each department serves passengers. This opened the fl ight. Back in North Carolina make ornaments with puffy said Iles. Among other items that a meal of some kind with a door for commercial aviation, 100 years ago, it was wonder, paint and other craft supplies,” appear on the children’s lists each different theme. The Business now populated by the likes of ingenuity, and persistence that said David Olecki, the organizer year are toy cars, remote control offi ce had a Brunch Monday the Boeing 747 and the now drove the Wright brothers to of the event. Chris Cummings, trucks, and dolls. The biggest gift morning, while IAIT had a retired Concorde supersonic make their fl ight in the fi rst the social chair at Alpha Tau was for Matthew Rigdon of Terre lunch on Wedensaday with a jet. One surprising fact about place. Omega, played Santa Claus and Haute. He received a skateboard. Southwestern theme. Thurmond continue from page 1 ... Although he is known for his staunch segregationalist position during the 1950s and 1960s, Thurmond redeemed himself to many people by changing his views on racial issues during the latter half of his life. The first Southern member of Congress to appoint an African- “Rose-Hulman’s American to his professional only reason for staff and a proponent of the Voting Rights Act of 1982, he existing is its stu- was honored in 1995 by the dents” presidents of historically black colleges and universities for his support of those schools. --President Williams believes that Samuel Hulbert despite Thurmond’s segregationalist position, he cared about her, saying, “I don’t think he would have done the things that he did if he didn’t care about me.” Williams was raised by a Some of tomorrow’s most cutting-edge careers—in fi elds as diverse as information maternal aunt rather than her unmarried mother, technology, life sciences, advanced manufacturing and 21st century logistics—may and met Thurmond at her be closer than you think. Find out everything a high technology future in Indiana mother’s request when she can offer at www.careersINsite.org. You’ll get the facts on living and working in was 16. Indiana, info on campus events that help you network with hundreds of Indiana technology companies, and fi nd the latest job opportunities and career advice. Happy Log on to www.careersINsite.org to get connected with Indiana’s technology resources. Holidays Go to www.careersINsite.org and register to win a $50 Gift Card from Best Buy. from the An initiative of TechPoint TECHPOINT

Rose Where technology, students and businesses Thorn connect. The Rose Thorn Edited by Lissa Avery Thursday, December 18, 2003 EVVENTSENTS 1111

19 20 6:00 p.m. - 11:00 p.m. 8:30 a.m. - 12:00 p.m. Wrestling, Rose-Hul- Campus Campus Bikes For Tykes man Duals Bicycle Assembly Project

1:00 p.m. - 4:00 p.m. Campus Bikes For Tykes Bikes Distribution

4:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. Calendar Rose-Hulman Family Christmas Party

4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6:00 p.m. - 7:45 p.m. 6:00 p.m. - 7:30 p.m. Women’s Basketball, Women’s Basketball, vs. DePauw University at Rhodes College

8:00 p.m. - 9:45 p.m. 8:00 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. Men’s Basketball, vs. Student Activity, Gui- DePauw University tarist Jason LeVasser

11 12 13 14 15 16 17 10:00 a.m. - 12:00 a.m. 6:00 p.m. - 7:30 p.m. 6:00 p.m. - 7:30 p.m. Registration For 6:00 p.m. - 7:30 p.m. 7:30 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. 12:00 p.m. - 3:00 p.m. Student Activity, Ski Trip Career Services Work- Career Services’ Re- Spring Quarter Career Services’ Re- Drama Club Play, Indoor Track Meet shop, How to Work The sume Workshop sume Workshop “Proof” 7:30 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Internship/Co-op Fair 7:30 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. Fine Arts Series, Trio Registration For Spring Registration For Registration For Drama Club Play, Indiana Registration For Spring Quarter Spring Quarter Spring Quarter “Proof” Quarter

Classifi eds The Rose Thorn’s website, updated weekly for Easy Fundraising HHaveave a ssafeafe aandnd your viewing pleasure: Fraternities – Sororities – Clubs http://www.rose-hulman.edu/thorn – Student Groups: Earn $1,000 - $2,000 this semester with a proven HHappyappy HHolidayoliday! CampusFundraiser 3-hour fund- raising event. Our free programs make fundraising easy with no risks. Fundraising dates are fi lling Fiesta Time! quickly, so get with the program! It works. Contact CampusFund- TThehe LLifeife CCenterenter Remember Prom? All the special clothes, the raiser at (888) 923-3238, or visit www.campusfundraiser.com. EEastsideastside FoursquareFoursquare CChurchhurch fl owers, the hair, the limo, and, of course, the money? Well, forget about it! Now think of the Custom Embroidery 33000000 CollegeCollege food, the dancing, and the fun! Be sure to come FRATERNITITES, SORORITIES, to the SAB Winter Formal Dance on January 17. CLUBS, ORGANIZATIONS! Consider TTerreerre HHaute,aute, IINN 4478037803 embroidered shirts, bags, jackets, or shorts to mark this year’s big events. Food at 6 p.m. and a fi esta extravaganza! Custom digitizing, affordable prices. SSundayunday 110am0am Small and single orders welcome. WWednesdayednesday 6pm6pm Call 478-1334 for information. So recycle your prom clothes after break Tutor: Math 2234-523334-5233 and party us toda la noche! Female math tutor needed for 6th grade student. Tutor must be willing to come ot home approxi- mately one hr/wk. Call 466-6830. Join Us Graphical Ads: Order Information Do you fi nd yourself hungry on Sun- day nights? Join us for Hunger Man- Pricing Information: Submission Deadlines: agement in the basement of New $6.50 per column inch Photo-ready art or graphics must be sub- Residence Hall Sundays at 5pm. We Full page = $500 mitted to [email protected] by Tues- serve a home cooked meal followed Discounts for ads run consecutively day, 5 p.m. of the week they are to run. by a brief devotion. Hunger Man- Insertion Date: Phone: agement is sponsored by American Baptist Campus Connection. Ques- Customer’s Name: Fax: tions? Call Dave Doles at 236-5121 Address: or Mike Martin at 872-6128.

The Rose Thorn Co-Editors-in-Chief: Entertainment Editor: Staff Writers: CM 5037 Luke Stark Jacob P. Silvia Odessa Goedert Photographer: RHIT Bob Schulein Adrian Throop Carmen DuVall 5500 Wabash Ave. Sports Editor: Laura Krause Terre Haute, IN 47803 Abby Rebhorn Josh Annin E-mail: thorn@rose- News Editor: Trevor Claffey Advisor: Dr. Richard House hulman.edu Nicole Hartkemeyer Emily Mitchell Flipside: Kevin Spontak The Rose Thorn is printed Phone:(812)877-8255 Assistant News Editor: Gregory Weir Stuart Nash Fridays during the standard Fax: (812)877-8166 Lissa Avery Steve Hoelle Courtland Caldwell Rose-Hulman quarters. Web Address: Ryan Cavanaugh Andrew Twarek www.rose-hulman.edu/thorn Opinions Editor: Webmaster: Eric Smith Brandon Hathaway Stephen Pierce Volume 39, Issue 11 I hate you all. You grinning, sanctimonious bastards. :-) Thursday, December 18, 2003 SAVE ALL BARCODES Top Ten Confessions of Saddam Hussein 10.“I hid the weapons of mass destruction in my beard.” 9. “Fidel Castro throws really crappy parties.” 8. “I cried at the end of Titanic.” 7. “My allegiance is to the one they call ‘The Hertz.’” 6. “I called in the anonymous tip myself. I didn’t want to miss ‘Return of the King.’” What the Hell is Boxing Day? 5. “Osama... I am your father.” Boxing Day falls on December 26, the 4. “The fl u? All me. Seriously.” day after Christmas. For those of you who 3. “I’m still bitter Dubya didn’t visit me when he was here for Thanksgiving.” don’t know the importance of this particular religious holiday, listen: Boxing Day started 2. “I... I never learned to read!” back on December 26, 1200 BC, when a 1. “I let the dogs out.” fi rst-age philatelist decided that in order to create a better society, he should one-up the Wacky Prof Quotes tetrahedron, but one-down the tesseract. His “Hey, check it out! I’m Jehovah!” invention was the box, which he promptly --Prof. House, doing a Whitman impression fi lled with fi rst-age bread and used as a comparative size-measuring device. Boxing “You’ll be in therapy before class is over.” Day remembers this long-gone philatelist, --Prof. Berry, with oracular accuracy and celebrates his contribution with public performances of pugilism. “When we go to Vegas, my cousin’s in the bathroom playing with his coins.” --Prof. Evans, discussing both gambling and, um, playing with one’s coins That, or we’re supposed to give presents to our postal carriers or something. I forget. “...and also to torture students. That’s very important.” --Prof. Radu, on why Boolean algebra was invented Herbig’s Pun of the Week Know your limits: “What could be more frightening than a woman with a whip?” Alcohol and Calculus don’t mix. --Prof. House, lacking a proper appreciation for whip-bearing females Don’t drink and derive. “For all practical purposes, infi nity is about three.” --Prof. Thomas, in true civil engineer form... and not confusing infi nity with pi.

“Your lips are moving too fast to be speaking Spanish.” --Prof. Gohre, showing sharp insight

“I want to say ‘knowledge,’ but perhaps I mean ‘crap.’” --Prof. Berry, discussing metaphysics

“I suggested this to the people higher up, and they were not at all amused. Tenure is wonderful.” --Prof. Yoder, on the creation of the Oscar-Meyer Building

“So they climb up on it and lick away.” --Prof. Houghtalen, talking about mountain goats, you sickos

“I’m not going back to Romania, because [the students] are spoiled just like you. I’m going to Siberia or Lower Africa.” --Prof. Radu, with her usual cosmopolitan grace

Send your prof quotes or other humor material to fl [email protected].

This Week in History The 13th Amendment is ratifi ed, formally abolish- ing slavery. Young senator Strom Thurmond votes against the amendment, later regretting his actions.

In Addition Bells on darkened towers ring, making spirits fright. Oh, what fun to ride the pale horse and sing a slay- ing song tonight.

The Little Line o’ Litigious Lard: The content of The Flipside is intended to be purely humorous, and it does not represent the opinions of The Rose Thorn or Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology. It probably doesn’t represent anybody’s opinions... anyone who matters. If you’re offended, I’ll rip you a new one. All material is copyright of its respective owner. Woof, woof, woof, woof woof.