Vol. XIX No. 2 Coincidentally, We're the Country's Second Best Newspaper September 17, 1997 ISSUES h~ b·---·--~---~ ~F··e--rY~~--EI·~_··~PI~Br ~-P_ _ 9--C. -IILSC--~kPIll~~sP~·~·L~·PIBma~__k _L9C-9---ll sll~--pl Ip-··--~P-·~------ld---- C_~- - -~L~A-----·-B~Y(e~l~·~PP~~ -~C~-- --- ·.

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By Chris Sorochin signs appeared everywhere letting all know what would be for my athletic career, as if I cared. Then they already know--that it's illegal for those under he asked me if I'd bought alcohol anywhere else in "...Thanks for Prohibitionand the War Against Drugs 18 to buy tobacco, only now we're going to get town. He was especially keen on knowing whether Thanks for a country where nobody's allowed to tough. They might as well say "Big Brother is I'd been supplied by old man Lippert. Maybe he mind his own business Watching." One of my pet convoluted theories is was looking to settle some personal grudge. Thanks for a nation offinks . that all these Clean Living initiatives, which tend I can't say that this traumatic episode did much Yes, thanks for all the memories... to favor "just say no" puritanism and enforcement to instill respect for the law and its representatives You always were a headache and you always were a rather than any sort of rational discussion, are in me. Quite the contrary. Many school campuses bore..." geared toward fostering a generation used to in Suffolk County are designated as non-smoking, William S. Burroughs restrictions and producing identification on which means that teachers and other employees from his Thanksgiving Prayer (1986) demand. They also give a handy excuse for can also be fined and theoretically fired if they're increased policing of young people. Maybe it's caught puffing on school property. An aquaintance I promised Boring Vacation Slides and had a nifty because this generation will have less than their who teaches at one such school informs me that little yawn-a-thon all planned out, but as usual parents did and may not sit still for it. this rule is widely disobeyed by individuals of all another story just sort of found me (just like I've noticed, in talking to and reading the views ages. It seems to me that the lesson being taught is Brenda Starr!). Fortunately, it's not a totally unre- of those who lead this clean-up effort locally, that that government exists to enact small-minded and lated matter, so I've managed, through some deft there is little or no regard for what the adolescents overbearing laws that beg to be violated. Aren't splicing, to patch together a melange of images in themselves have to say. This again is great training laws supposed to make sense to those who are the most banal Filmmaking 101 surrealist- for an adult existence in which decisions are made supposed to follow them? wannabe style. Just for laughs, I've thrown in without consultation from those who are required Nor is there any open defiance of these stupid vignettes from previous trips as well as a harrow- to follow them. laws. Do the so-called adults at these schools (and iEg flashback from my own twisted past. Pleasant Somewhere between Pisa and Piombino: I'm everyone else who works in places where you have dreams. taking advantage of Europe's "backwardness" and to leave the building to smoke) really enjoy being light up on the train. Long-distance trains have treated as if they were not-very-bright children, Schiphol Airport, Amsterdam: As I step out of smoking cars and those who don't care for smoke unable to act responsibly on their own? the arrival gate to seek out my connecting flight, I sit in the non-smoking cars. This silly arrangement East Germany: By the end of the Communist behold a welcome sight: a designated smoking has been done away with in the Land of Enforced regime, one citizen in five was either an agent of area wreathed in its own cloud of noxious fumes. I Wholesomeness. Hmm. the state or an informer, giving the ironically- don't want a cigarette after six hours in a sealed We're the only industrialized country with no named German Democratic Republic the world's metal tube, but I feel like kissing the tile and exalt- national health care system, but we appear to have record. ing, "Civilization!" For the next twelve days, I'm the most rules about personal behavior. One Spanish Port Jefferson: On a much more prosaic level, free of the American Morality State with its student I know calls the US "the Land of Rules," smoking fines are a tremendous cash cow for the omnipresent "We Card" signs and entire buildings which is a far cry from the image most Americans county. The businesses "stung" will be coughing where smoking is forbidden because someone have of it being freer than anywhere else. up (no pun intended) from $300-$500. It's $100 just somewhere has decreed the world will come to a Port Jefferson: I call William Stojek of Suffolk for not having an annoying sign -- another wel- sudden and bitter end if anyone smokes in even a County Health Services for more data on what my come absence abroad. Mr. Stojek claims to have broom closet. The Netherlands has legalized legal advisor says sounds like "a textbook case of "hit" well over 100 businesses this year. Do the drugs, but there aren't any hash houses at the air- entrapment." Several people I've spoken to say math and you'll see that the Morality Police gener- port, so I settle for a couple insidiously potent that the 15-year-old girl used as the cigarette-solic- ate a healthy bit of revenue, just like a small-town Dutch beers and stand there NOT hearing, "Let's iting "decoy" was dressed up in a way that no speed trap, or on a more sophisticated level, the see some ID." teenager would be. An immigrant from India who DEA, which seizes people's homes, cars and other Greenville, South Carolina: Downtown was stung in Nassau County says his decoy sport- assets. Erich Goode, of the Sociology Department, Greenville has the same upscale accoutrements as ed a full beard (this gentleman was accosted by speaks of "moral entrepreneurs;" folks who carve every other aspiring city center in North America: four agents and fingerprinted-- maybe his immi- their own niche in the law-enforcement business ethnic restaurants, artsy shops, espresso bars and grant status accorded him special treatment). Mr. by originating a crusade against something hither- microbreweries. There's a big outdoor festival with Stojek tells me that decoys are instructed not to to unpunished. The most famous example of this is live music and non-microbrewed beer is served. dress up. the "reefer madness" campaign of the 1930's, Hot Dog. To drink one must wear a fluorescent Where are these decoys recruited from? The one which inspired scores of new laws and punish- green wristband. "Why am I tagged like a mal- in question, I'm told, is someone caught smoking ments, as well as loads of new search and seizure lard?" I demand of my brother-in-law. "There are in school and whose punishment is to be part of powers for police. underage people here and you might give them this noble undertaking. "She's learning a lesson the I wonder how many essential public health pro- beer." Heaven forbid. The plaza in which this is hard way," Stojek says. grams might go begging while the Youth of taking place is plastered with signs listing Rules of Allegany, NY: I'm 16 and my friend Greg and I America is saved from tobacco. Whether anyone is Conduct. There are also police lounging against a are doing what is not unusual for us; hanging out being saved is another question -- any sympathet- wall just in case anyone gets too out of control at this house and watching TV with a couple of ic individual 18 or over can buy butts for someone before the shut-off time of 7pm. Nobody does. beers to ease the ennui brought about by six younger, or vendors can deal only with minors Milan, Italy: It's sunset and I'm in the huge months of upstate winter. I've purchased the bev- they know personally. And I wouldn't be too sur- Piazza Duomo, sucking on a beer and ruminating erages right down the street at Club 17, a college prised if some enterprising 18-year-old is already on life's contradictions. So are lots of others. The hangout. The phone rings. It's Officer Pezzimenti, running a nice little Junior Achievement black beer isn't in the ridiculous brown bag we're accus- the town cop. He wants me to come outside to his market, like the bootleggers during Prohibition. tomed to here, and the not-too-noticeable cara- patrol car. What can I do but comply? "Get in", he Prohibition was also used as a handy pretext for binieri don't seem to care. I've also noticed you can says, and when I do he points to his rear view mir- raids directed at immigrants, minorities and the walk down the street with a naked beer bottle and ror, "Know what this is?" Must be a trick question, working class. The Ku Klux Klan, very active'on no one will give you a second glance. Italian bars I think, but I hazard that it's a rear-view mirror. Long Island, eagerly participated. don't have bouncers and there's no drinking age. "Right", he crows, "and I just saw you walk out of I asked Stojek if he could foresee Health Port Jefferson: The Suffolk County Health 17 with a six-pack." I began to shit bricks. If he Department infiltration of schoolyards (I used Services Department, apparently inspired by Bill takes me home and tells the folks, I'll be the object those exact words) and he replied that there were Clinton's year-old crusade against teen smoking, of some serious domestic violence. "I won't if you no such plans as of yet and it would depend on the conducts what they call "sting" operations in sev- cooperate. That longhair behind the bar sell it to state. Moral niceties that some might raise regard- eral local businesses, issuing summonses for sell- you?" He then takes me to Club 17 and makes me ing using kids in such a manner don't appear to ing to minors. Last year, after signing legislation to point to the guy who'd been obliging enough to enter into the discussion. destroy social welfare protections for poor children vend me a six of scuzzy canned domestic. I waited A high-school principal told me that these tobac- - about 20% of children in the US live in poverty - in the squad car with his snarling German shep- co and alcohol decoys were paid volunteers. It the Commander in Chief Who Didn't Inhale pro- herd while he reamed the guy out. Then he took would be interesting to see how recruitment is claimed that underage smoking was the greatest me back to Greg's, but not without first giving me done. Do they go into the main office and request scourge to today's youth. Overnight, stupid little a lecture on the evils of drinking and how bad it a list of known jplease see "Us and Them, "page 6

THE STONY BROOK PRESS PAGE 2 ~aae~c~-~rea~a~ -- __ ~·~IUPsa~8saan~J~l~nc~sn~sbss~-~e__-,~l~ lan, -~a ISSUES I- _ ] ere 1 Number Two 1 By David M. Ewalt Level Courses The review asked students, "Overall, how happy are 10. State University of New York at Stony Brook you?" The school's ranking tells you their reaction. A comprehensive ranking of 311 universities Students cited a lack of weekend activity, around the United States has ranked SUNY Stony For this question, the Princeton Review asked "uncomfortable living situations and a distinct dis- Brook as one of the most miserable campuses in students, "How many upper-level classes are taste for the campus food" as some of their main the country. taught by teaching assistants?" The answer was complaints. The ranking, conducted annually by The apparently, "too many." The Review quotes a USB rugby player as saying, Princeton Review, surveys thousands of currently "TAs run an ungodly amount of interference for "You have to find your own fun here, it won't come enrolled college students about their schools and their advisors." says the survey. The Universitv to vou." their attitudes towards them. Stony Brook ranked advertises its world-class faculty and highly on several lists, including "Unhappy its Nobel and Pulitzer winners, j THE RATINGS Students," "Dorms Like Dungeons," and apparently students rarely see them. "Professors Suck All Life from Materials." As part of the survey, The Review Following on the heels of several positive survey Long Lines and Red Tape graded schools numerically based on rankings, which largely measured only academic 10. State University of New York at the survey results. Grades were concerns, the Princeton review survey shows a Stony Brook given on a scale of 1 to 100 in both shocking level of displeasure amongst students with Academics," and "Quality of Life." the university itself, as a place to live and work. When the review asked studer ;tony Brook scored a 64 in both cate- "Overall, how smoothly is your s s.In most classes, that would earn THE SURVEY run?" they gave a big. thumbs down. you an "." Administrative performance and efficiency The survey was conducted by The Princeton received poor rankings from students. WHAT'S HOT AND WHAT'S NOT Review, one of the nation's According to one senior quoted in the survey, largest educational services ...... | "administration is one very long line of frus- The review also provides a list of what's good or companies. They are well trated students seeking answers from people popular (Hot) and what's bad or unpopular (Not) known for their test prepa- who know nothing." for each school surveyed. ration courses and books, This survey result is particularly damning h^ / ^ ^id ^^ d ,^,l A4.-ih 1 ^ t " T aunteu at purospective couege WidI CUII8IUCtltCU CdlUll YIIL tllll IACICLL INIILLI What's Hot at Stony Brook students. Survey of Faculty and Professional Staff regard- ethnic diversity on campus Every year, the Review ing Stony Brook Administrators and Services." drugs releases an edition of "The In this survey, faculty and staff of the left-wing politics Student Access Guide to The University universally gave administration college radio Best Colleges," an extensive poor marks on performance and policy. (These Greeks survey and analysis of the survey results are available on the internet at American collegiate system. http://sbnews.sunysb.edu/susb /survey.html). What's Not For this year's survey, the students are unhappy "VTL__ ... .. -1-1_ A111 T */ X... '& f,

of New York at Stany Brook students 5. State University what they thought administration about their school, obtaining ratings on academic, dorms social, financial, and athletic concerns. "Are your instructors good teachers?" asked the unattractive campus In past years, Stony Brook had fared better in the Review. Students answered by ranking them as the survey, only getting bad marks in one or two cate- fifth worst in the country. THE SIGNIFICANCE gories; the school has appeared in "Teaching These results may seem curious when considered Assistants Teach Too Many Upper-Level Courses" in concert with administrative propaganda and The 1997 Princeton Review survey is the worst and "Dorms Like Dungeons" for several years now. other survey results, but they do make sense. thing to happen to Stony Brook in years. In the 1997 survey, however, Stony Brook sank to There's no arguing that Stony Brook faculty are all Every college-bound high school student in new lows. USB appeared on five of the "negative" highly qualified and knowledgeable, but accord- America knows what the Princeton Review is. :^^_ r ,,,," , _ „,, ^£f, -- 1-U^_l 1.· · \Xf r 4%-%*-kC ,/ %·- lr^^A4Iver %m4- ^ :-W^T71 C lists, and none of the "positive." 111n to te sU1vey, Imanly ou adVet at IteadLsttell lelt Iteview s basic skills necessary to ci nkings. Many study them. In THE RESULTS cate that knowledge. s competitive educational mar- The quality of Stony Bro( rankings and surveys help stu- The Princeton Review divides their survey' Professors is spotty at be, nts to decide on a school. Stony results into sub-categories based on the question with the finest facult) rook's recent performance may asked of the students. It then ranks the schools scattered amongst dis- help many to decide against it. according the the numerical rating assigned to that parate departments, and Beyond the repercussions for category by students. often lacking tenure. The University Admissions, this The following categories are ranked out of 311 of review quotes an survey shows an incredible the nation's colleges and universities. If Stony Anthropology/English level of dissatisfaction Brook is ranked second in "Dirty Sidewalks," for major as saying, "My imongst the students of Stony instance, then that means we have the second dirt- anthro profs are lik rook. As the school consistent- iest sidewalks in the country. watching stand-up come( ranks highly for esoteric and ans or the Discovery char to measure academic con- Dorms Like Dungeons You can't turn away. the students themselves ar• 7. State University of New York at Stony Brook English profs, on the ot] y unhappy...... 1I - VinLA1.. .. •..Lc1- .. iin woUuUI L IntnUW iscari vvllu:r 11 int Stony Brook's appearance in this category indi- pinched them on the butt." THE DATA cates a high level of dissatisfaction with Campus Residences. Our dormitories fared only slightly Unhappy Students The 1997 "Princeton Review's Best Colleges" is 'better than those of the U.S. Military Academy 2. State University of New York at Stony Brook available on the world wide web at (Number 5). http://www.review.com/college/find/rank/. The In other words, Stony Brook dormitories are only In this, Stony Brook's worst ranking, USB stu- results are also printed in "The Student Advantage slightly better than army barracks. dents named themselves the second most unhappy Guide to The Best 311 Colleges," published by the students in the country, second only to the Princeton Review. Teaching Assistants Teach Too Many Upper- University of Missouri at Columbia.

SEPTEMBER 17, 1997 PAGE 3 EDITORIALS b ~e--s~--~- --- -esP-·r - --·e HOUSING IN CRISIS As you read this, there are approximately 400 renovations scheduled for this year will be students on a waiting list for on-campus housing. pushed back by ten months or more. If Admin The housing shortage is the result of administra- does not meet Polity demands, students will be tive mismanagement and should not really come forced into an expensive and time-consuming as a surprise given the blatant ineptitude Shirley commute. This is the best case scenario. The Kenny and her money obsessed minions have more dismal view pushes back renovations indef- displayed when it comes to accommodating stu- initely, or has students withdrawing for the dent needs. semester because they have no place to live. The administration was aware of the fact that a Either way, the students suffer. housing crisis would be created as a result of What we are currently hearing is that their aggressive recruiting strategies this past Administration never had any intentions of grant- summer, but decided to step back and allow the ing housing to the people on the wait list anyway. scenario to unfold anyway. There are currently It seems that they were hoping that those students students living in lounges that have been tem- would just give up and seek out their own hous- porarily outfitted to house them. More students ing. are commuting from as far as the Bronx and This episode provides us with some insight Manhattan while others crash in friends' rooms into the Administrative ideology. Ignore student or the Holiday Inn. needs and maybe they will go away. The Student Polity Association has now asked Please take this as public notice: WE ARE NOT the University administration to reopen Tabler GOING ANYWHERE. We need housing; pro- Quad in an effort to expediently end this crisis. vide us with it or be ready to have your work- As students we find ourselves in a lose-lose situ- place as disrupted as ours is. ation. If Administration meets Polity demands, ,, ------c --~ ------~r ------.~ID------e ------THE STONY BROOK PRESS " ulese r Writers

1) Submissions are due by 12 midnight on production Saturdays. 2) All submissions must be typed or submitted on disk. We have the capabilty to read both Macintosh and Windows disks. 3) Authors are asked to submit articles with the proper word count: 1 page: 1600 words 1/2 page: 800 words

The Stony Brook Press Production Schedule Fall Semester 1997 11 H, , E R

Volume XIX *3 PIS IE V

Issue No.: Submissions Due: Date of Publication: *RUNNER-UP: 2 September 13 September 17 BEST ALTERNATIVE 3 September 27 October 1 4 October 11 October 15 PUBLICATION October 29 5 October25 *BEST SENSE OF HUMOR November 12 6 November 8 (SECOND CONSECUTIVE YEAR) 7 November22 November 26 8 December 6 December 10 *HONORABLE MENTION: REPORTING ------`--~I------~-~~

THE STONY BROOK PRESS PAGE 4 II bl ~C1 I-I--1 -- ~I ICI1 ICI I ~c~Cd~a -IL- LETTERS TO THE EDITOR' To The Editor: The swiftest retributions were available for current struggle, Israel is clearly the conqueror; Too late: Only now, after the event, do I realize those who dared to fight their subservience. But what remains of the Palestinians are the con- the significance of Hillel's recent ceremony for who wept for the conquered in the South? quered. But who here weeps for them? Israelis killed by Palestinians. Being unable to These are only the most notorious incidents in I would never say the Israelis who were killed disrupt it, I can only write impotently about it. American history; our ancestors repeated such by Palestinians deserved such a death, the only But perhaps some thoughtful sympathizer or travesties again and again, inside and outside people who deserve such punishment are the member of Hillel will be moved by my words, the country, to every group weaker and poorer leaders of Israel ad the ruthless American lead- belated as they are. than us who had some resource to be stolen. The ers who pay their bills. The actions of many The Great Conquering Races of the world have current spokesmen for the superior claim that American Jews in denouncing all Palestinians as shed many tears for Their Own. Always, as their such invasions are no more, yet the war in terrorists and supporting Israel's government in leaders invaded other lands, killing or exiling Israelis only one example of the current atroci- its every scheme to steal more will do nothing to the natives with many a regret, their official his- ties America is committing. American funds the stop the violence. torians followed, chronicling the virtues of the Israeli military, the greed of American leaders It is too late to prevent the slaughter of the victors. Always a desperate minority unwisely fuels the greed of Israeli leaders, American Native Americans. It is too late to prevent the rebelled against the invaders. None have ever audacity sets the example for Israel's audacity. enslavement of Africans. However, perhaps the been mourned so emotionally as those of the Many supporters of Israel's policies vigorous- Palestinians can be saved from the same fate. Conquering Race, who fell to the invaded rebels. ly point out that there can be no "Land for This cannot happen unless Jews in this country "What right," sobs the spokesman of the superi- Peace" deal in Israel. This is true; the Jewish take a more critical view of Israel's government. or, "have they to murder us, when all we want- leaders of Israel will offer neither to the con- Murders should certainly be denounced, but you ed was all they had?" Yet who weeps for the quered Palestinians. So far, a small minority of must be willing to denounce every murder that conquered? Palestinians have rebelled. The vast majority occurs: every Palestinian with a rock in his hand How many Native Americans, crippled and accepts their subservience, accepts the fact that who gets shot by Israeli soldiers, every humiliated by the white immigrants, stumbled they cannot be citizens in their own country, Palestinian tortured to death for his political docilely westward to appease the invaders? accepts that legalized discrimination against views, and every Palestinian civilian killed dur- These we remember as "peaceful Indians." Far them, accepts the brutal Israeli military on their ing Israel's "retaliation bombings" in Palestine or fewer fought hopelessly for their land and their streets. southern Lebanon. If you weep only with the lives, and killed some of the immigrants before Death is always tragic. Nevertheless, I would Conquerors, you share their guilt! they died. These we remember as "warlike." not take the view that because both Israelis and I invite responses and arguments, but I will try Our Founding Fathers, of course, took ample Palestinians have died both are equally guilty. to diffuse the ones which will surely be the most revenge. Still, hundreds of years later the victo- Every battle has winners and losers. Israel has common: that I am anti-Semitic. Half of my rious still wept for their own and despised the more wealth, more military strength, more pow- family is Jewish, and I have no hatred for Jews. defeated people for the actions of a few. Yet who erful allies, and far fewer victims. Its leaders I do not hold Israel's actions against Jews in wept for the conquered then, when it might have taken land which, by almost universal general, only those who actively support its have mattered? agreement, does not legally belong to them. government and suppress criticism of it. I Years ago, when rich whites exploited poor They have conquered the Palestinians as brutal- implore anyone who seeks to justify Israel's blacks even more openly than they now do, ly as America's leaders conquered their own actions to at least try to understand history slave rebellions were rare. Even more rare, one minorities. They exiled and murdered the before dooming thousands of Palestinians to of the masters was killed by his servants. What Native Americans. They have denied repeat it. sorrow accompanied his death! Hundreds of Palestinians legal rights as callously as our -Stephen Preston years later, the Ku Klux Klan was still sobbing. ancestors denied then to African slaves. IN the Graduate student, Mathematics Department

I------? ------~------p --~ - ----~- '' - Tell the administration how you feel about the housing crisis! Copy this letter and sign it. Deliver the completed letter either to President Kenny's office, or to the Student Polity offices on the second floor of the SAC. rF------„------^-^ . Today's Date1 1To: President Kenny & Dr. Preston I I SMy name is ( ) and I am a :(freshman/transfer/international student, etc),: 'currently living in ( ) (or commuting ifrom ). As an ally to students ini ineed of housing, I agree that Tabler Quad should: Tbe re-opened to accommodate people in need of Ihousing. In doing so, I understand that the reno-1 ivations of the campus will have to be extended i ifor another year. However, under the circum-1 1 choice. I stances I think that this is the logical I I As the President and Vice President of the ,University, I trust that you will do what is best forl h

In Student Unity, I I ( your name ) I I.D. # ____ I SB -_-rn_------l------r------_ ,~~ ,, I SEPTEMBER 17, 1W PAGE 5 ISSUES 'r I I - ~ c~e C14~1~F sFe · LbrlPb" ,cl -L1 ~1· 'r s-·L, 1 · · ~ Ir ·I I - SAC DEDICATION

By Ai ne Ruggiero ment to the once-faltering institution. The image of the local media. Shirley single-handedly transforming the concrete However, the reality in this brave, new Stony Picture it: Shirley Strum Kenny, Fred Preston, and debacle that was Stony Brook join the sleek, new, Brook is a school where the students can't use the Carmen Vazquez together in the same room with a donation-friendly college all for the sake of her student meal plan in the Student Activities Center, microphone and an audience. It's either a psy- adoring little students lives on. where the commuters have to park a half mile from chology project in the unfortunate effects of a pro- Roy Roberts, speaking on behalf of the Graduate the center of campus, and where the residential longed god complex, or the room is filled with the Student Organization, publicized the opportuni- cafeterias no longer open for breakfast. But when- unmistakable sound of puckering lips as the Three ties for student and administrative integration ever News 12 sends a camera crew over, there are Amigos do what they do best--kiss the asses of the which the SAC provided, and proposed a cafe sce- jazz bands, silver fountain punch bowls, balloons, financially endowed and legislatively empowered, nario for the two to intermix. (Brilliant idea--I and declarations of loveand respect for the student Si ch was the scene at the dedication of the new know that my life wouldn't be complete without community. Personally, I would rather Kenny for- Student Activities Center last Wednesday as having had coffee with Fred Preston.) Roberts get about the cake and give-away prizes and fix Kenny and company sponsored an elaborate declared his hope that the new Center would things that are relevant to student life. The money reception in the Center's lobby. Camera crews and become the axis of the community and would lead spent on the dedication ceremony alone would journalists mingled with swarms of administrators to greater student participation and activism, but have bought a few more books for the library. and alumni, as the odd student or two wandered for some reason, I doubt that this "student focus", Instead of a "wellness center," I would have pre- through the building, possibly drawn in by the bal- which all of the speakers so adamantly declared, is ferred a more efficient system at the Bursar's loons, strategically positioned jazz bands, and the the sincere purpose for the 13.7 million dollar Office, or tenured professors. Rather than building promise of free cake. Even with these elaborately building. If it is the core reason, then the adminis- a luxury like the Student Activities Center, why displayed incentives, the student population at the trators are way out of touch with the wants and couldn't we have something that would really ceremony was minimal, and the festivities were needs of this campus. make student life more convenient, such as a com- geared more towards the administration's public I submit, for your perusal, a list of what the muter parking garage? relations officers than to the student body. Student Activities Center provides for us, the stu- Dr. Liao stated in his speech that brainstorming The overpowering theme of the speeches was the dents (remember, the ones for whom this universi- for the SAC began among administrators ten years I Activities Center's position as the "focus" of the ty exists, blah, blah, blah). ago, six years before the original ground breaking campus community. In fact, "focus" was the key- A full-service bank, a gourmet dining hall, post took place. If the mass student community was word of the addresses given by Dr. Preston and office, commuter lounge, the Polity print shop, a polled at all about the SAC, how recent was it? Union Advisory Board Chairperson Thomas Liao. large, state-of-the-art auditorium, a wellness cen- How much student involvement really went into President Kenny emphatically stated that the ter, and the ultra-comfy offices of the Dean and the Student Activities Center? Whatever the stu- SAC was a reflection of the university as a whole, Polity. What the SAC does not provide is a dining dent input, the administration sure is getting and that it was fitting that a building constructed hall which the students can conveniently eat in, a comfy there. Look around at lunch hour. Our for the students was located physically and func- commuter lounge which students can relax in and gourmet food hall which the Long Island Voice so tionally at the center of the campus since the stu- it doesn't solve the problems of decrepit dormito- highly praised is filled with more suits than stu- dents were the purpose of the university's exis- ries or the parking crisis on campus. Polity Vice dents. I wonder if Shirley and Fred will sing the tence, a point reiterated by Preston and Vazquez. President Diana Lopez was the only speaker at same tune about the central role of the students "...The reason for us today, the reason for this uni- Wednesday's ceremonies who addressed the fact when Newsday isn't watching. I guess what it versity, are the students", proclaimed Kenny, smil- that the new building was not a cure-all for the boils down to is that we have T.A.'s instead of pro- ing proudly for the cameras as she and Dr. Liao university's woes, acknowledging the problems fessors, obscenely long lines at the Registrar's unveiled the dedication plaque. And she has every with the dorms and academic troubles which stu- counter, and the second most unhappiest students reason to smile--after all, she has done it again, dents face, but she did state her hopes that the con- in the country, but at least we have multi-million successfully schmoozing the television-watching struction of the Student Activities Center would be dollar building to do our bitching in. public into believing that the university's infallible the beginning of the student-centric university that of golden girl has added another attractive improve- administrators spoke so adamantly for in front "Us and Them," continuedfrom page 2 stool pigeons? Do they put up signs in the lunch- growing his own pot; his neighbors, and people soon learn that this diverges from reality, including own homes, and they tune out room: "Earn extra money! Be a narc!"? "Squeal around the country, went to bat for him, telling the the reality in their Like A Pig"?!? court that he wasn't bothering anybody. You are the entire message. A further question might be where the fine money allowed a small amount of marijuana for personal Huntington: Someone obviously under 18 offers no, goes. Is it used for real health concerns, like AIDS, use in tight-assed Germany, as you are in most of me a quarter for one of my cigarettes. I tell him prenatal care and the abnormally high rate of breast Europe (we smoked a joint on the street in front of he can have one free, and even let him use my a cancer? Or does it go towards the $1,000 reward for my hotel - don't worry, I didn't inhale), lighter. I wonder how long it will be before such Health whoever helps catch the vandals who graffiti'd I counter Fritz' anecdote with accounts of DEA scene is punctuated by a Suffolk County Gaffney's Rock, now being touted as "a 450-mil- helicopters and SWAT teams in laid-back Department official springing from the bushes and lion-year-old relic of Long Island's Ice Age," our California busting into homes in the middle of the issuing me an expensive summons. I wonder own little Stonehenge, over the summer? night. I also relate how Clinton has threatened to when I can next afford a temporary escape from Some studies indicate that teen smoking has actual- prosecute any doctor prescribing marijuana, this ever-less-free society I live in. ly gone up since the inauguration of the Crusade. "But you can still get a gun easily," Fritz yelps, Duh. Anyone with the most basic grasp of adolescent and I admit that, yes, guns are always readily Note to Jim Reagan: can find, psychology knows the most effective way to get teens available. I explain that we Americans, due in part Of all my inflammatory babble you to do something is to forbid them for doing it. This to our Puritan heritage, have a problem with nothing more damning than my use of profanity? rudimentary principle seems to escape the authori- things that give pleasure, but we've developed a You're going to make some piss-poor (sorry!) ties. Or perhaps it doesn't. The crime-and-punish- deep affection for things that cause pain. lawyer, hot shot. ment business, now the largest growth industry in the Ireland: A TV profile of a soccer player mentions And by the way, my beloved just finished threeTl country, will require new "outlaws" to justify itself, how he "likes his pint" and radio commentary on long years of overpriced mind-warping (a.k.a. law ! just as the older military-industrial complex required a traditional music festival adds that attendees school). I've seen the opaque, impenetrable legalese) parade of foreign "threats." "enjoy the drink." Such comments would be gobbledygook they give her to read. Lemme tell'ya, an unceasing ) Elba: The island of Napoleon's exile is now unthinkable here, where it's taboo to officially anyone who goes to school to be able to generate 5C nc packed with German tourists. I have an informa- acknowledge that drinking is enjoyable. I suspect pages of that drivel and call it a "brief", is in tive chat with a guy from Wiesbaden about the that the failure of programs like SADD and DARE position to criticize anyone else's writing. economic situation, where workers are now being (which they want to expand) is that they preach Write back when your argumentative skills have1 told they can take a 20% pay cut or hit the road. He mind alteration as unambiguously evil and teach been sharpened and then maybe, just maybe, I'l also told the story of a doctor who was arrested for that only those with problems practice it. Students condescend to engage you in debate.

THE STONY BROOK PRESS PAGE 6 L I ~e~·-prh~.- CI · ICI~~ -bC L I ~ _s e- - - _I ~--=-, -~-L~PB~O~gPILII~I~PC~ ·- -·-L~LC~Fdb~ · ~L· -----L- -~--II ISSUES ALONG THE COLOR LINE KILLER COPS OUT OF CONTROL: PART ONE OF A TWO PART SERIES Dr. Manning Marable demonstration protesting "the burning of Black In other major American cities, the same situation churches and police brutality." Singing "We Shall exists. In Chicago, on July 30, 1995, Joseph Gould, Black Americans were horrified last month with Overcome" and "Ain't Gonna Let nobody Turn Us an unarmed homeless black man, was killed by an the brutal torture of a young black man in Around," the marchers represented a range of reli- off-duty white police officer. The policeman was Brooklyn by New York City police officers. Abner gious, labor and civil rights organizations. In the first charged only with "official misconduct," but Louima, a 30 year old Haitian immigrant Bronx, protesters outraged at the shootings of two after a series of public demonstrations the Illinois employed as a security guard, was arrested after Hispanic young men by the police staged a "bois- state attorney increased the charge to "armed vio- an altercation with police. Once he had arrived at terous sit-in" in October, 1995, outside the Bronx lence." On October 3, 1995, Honduran immigrant the precinct, Louima was viciously assaulted. District Attorney's office. Jorge Guillen died in police custody from suffoca- Louima was raped with the wooden handle of a On June 13, 1996, in Brooklyn, Aswan Keshawn tion. The state attorney refused to prosecute, claim- toilet plunger up his rectum, and then in his Watson, an unarmed 21-year-old black male, was ing "lack of evidence of any criminal conduct." mouth, breaking his teeth. killed by two white plainclothes officers who fired These and other incidents prompted some Chicago The police officers screamed racist epithets as 18 bullets into him. Activists in central Brooklyn activists to organize a demonstration marking a they worked on Louima. One attacker even shout- held a mass forum on August 5, 1996, charging "National Day of Protest Against Police Brutality, ed, "This is Giuliani time, not Dinkins time," a ref- Watson's death "as evidence of blatant police con- Repression and Criminalization of a Generation," erence to Republican Mayor Rudolph Giuliani's tempt." On May 2, 1997, a Brooklyn grand jury on October 22, 1996. predecessor, black liberal Democrat David found that the officers "were justified in believing In San Francisco in June 1995, militant protesters Dinkins. Released in critical condition, the same themselves to be in danger" when they mistakenly packed a meeting of the city's police commission cop threatened Louima that he would kill him and judged Watson's car steering-wheel lock for a gun. to denounce the killing of a black marn by officers. his family if the incident became known. In Patterson, New Jersey, in February 1995, In July, 1994 , a crowd of demonstrators protested However, the public outcry over this case was so teenagers led a demonstration outside that city's at a police district station in Baltimore, denouncing overwhelming and immediate, that Giuliani had police headquarters to protest the killing of a six- the death of a black man, Jesse Chapman, while in no alternative except to distance himself from pals teen year old boy by a rookie police officer. In custody. In nearby Prince George's County that in the NYPD. Several police officers were arrested, Staten Island on May 1, 1994, hundreds of school same year, Archie Elliott III, a black man, was shot while their supervisors were both transferred and children, parents and working people marched in 14 times by two county police officers. Dorothy suspended. One week later, thousands of people the Clifton section of the borough to protest the Copp Elliott, the deceased's mother, began speak- demonstrated in Flatbush, Brooklyn to denounce death of Ernest Savon, who allegedly was fatally ing out at community events and neighborhood the racist violence of the police. beaten by police. To publicize the scores of police churches "to protest her son's death." As sickening as the Louima case is, it is not shootings of Black and Latino young men in metro To stop police violence requires more than law- unusual. Throughout metropolitan New York and New York since 1993, several mothers' groups ad suits. We must not be silent. We must protest to across the country, there are similar incidents of community activists have organized annual defend the lives of our brothers, sons, and husbands. police brutality and murder. This pervasive pat- protests on the theme, "Racial Justice Day." The tern of police violence has also led to hundreds of April, 1997 rally brought 300 protesters to City black and Latino public demonstrations and Hall Park. As the demonstration moved uptown Dr. Manning Marable is a Professor of History and Director protests, calling for justice. toward Washington Square Park, chanting "The of the Institutefor Research in African-American Studies at For example, in New York City on June 28, 1996, people united will never be defeated," hundreds of Columbia University, New York City. "Along the Color ten thousand people marched down Fifth Avenue onlookers joined the march, growing the estimated Line" is distributedfree of charge and regularly appears in over 325 black and progressive publications worldwide. from 59th Street to the United Nations, in a number of protesters to one thousand. I, c ------1

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By Alexis Rosoff acquaintance of mine, who happens to be a grad- sors and other students will be markedly different uate student here. Although I completely dis- than if Stony Brook had only 2,000 undergradu- You know the university sales pitch. Sales is all agree with this line of reasoning, it hits closer to ates. In return, we expect a wider variety of oppor- about highlighting your best points, shining a the heart of the argument. The reason we're tunities than we might get at a smaller school. bright light upon them to rid the image of all con- taught by graduate students has nothing to do What we don't expect, or deserve, is being treated trast. Stony Brook is no exception. We all got the with academic quality. It's economics. A gradu- as second-class students. pitch before we came here. Top-ranked academics ate student teaching a class receives a tuition Stony Brook proudly proclaims itself to be a programs, top-caliber faculty, top-notch facilities, waiver plus a stipend worth approximately 'research university'. Unfortunately, this seems as the best of everything. Then we get here, and real- $9,500 annually. A professor, even one at the low if it's becoming an oxymoron lately. However, it ity hits. If you're an undergraduate at Stony Brook, end of the pay scale, will receive about $30,000 a doesn't have to be. Having a strong and well- you're at the bottom of the university food chain. year, plus benefits. Even I, who flunked calculus known research program and high-quality under- Instead of those illustrious professors they've outright the first time I took it, can do the math graduate education can complement each other. bragged about, you may have a graduate student on that one. Why pay professors when grads can However, this does not happen when professors i1 U -L . .e ..... W .- - ur_ teaching your class. o me same wuor oru succumb to the 'publish or perish' mentality and I have two classes this term ,less money? A pro- leave the job of actually dealing with undergradu- being taught by graduate stu- fessor of mine told ates to the graduate students. Universities are, in dents-a 300-level English class our class last year theory, here to educate and enlighten students-all and 200-level Spanish class. that at the begin- of them. If the priority of this institution is mainly According to a Princeton Review ning of the decade, to engage in research, why bother with undergrads Stony Brook ranks 10th in the the English depart- at all? We're just a drain on money and resources nation in the number of upper- ment had had 42 that could be better spent elsewhere. level undergraduate classes members; it now I do not believe that graduate students should 1 __ -'I 1- - _1 J _ jL, - T _ 1--- , T .... _11__ taugnt Dy graauate stuaents. row, nas zL. Ironically, not teach at all; they're an integral part of teaching, although the quality of teaching that's provided by the students may ultimately be working them- and I don't think that any large university would grads may be excellent, the question remains: Why selves out of a job. Someday, in the not too dis- be able to survive without them. On a more per- does this happen, what are the long term implica- tant future, they'll leave, and another crop of sonal note, I've enjoyed the varied perspectives tions, and is it an acceptable situation? graduate students will appear to do their work, that graduate students can bring to a lecture, as One answer goes like this: Yes it is. By choosing enabling universities to continue limiting the well as the enthusiasm they often have. However, to come to a big public university, you knew the hiring of new faculty. I don't believe that simply because graduate stu- trade-off you were making. The professors bring in Secondly, that argument makes the assumption dents can do the job means that professors should more money by doing research than you pay in that because we are SUNY students, who pay 1/3 be absolved of the duty of dealing with students. tuition. Furthermore, you pay only $10,000 to go to as much for our education, we are not entitled to We deserve to benefit from the experience and Stony Brook, instead of the $30,000 you'd pay at the same level of education. We do make a trade- expertise of the faculty. some private universities, so you have no right to off by picking Stony Brook. We know that we'll After all, some of the undergraduates here today complain. The teaching's the same anyway, so have big lectures instead of more intimate discus- will become the graduate students of tomorrow. what's the difference? sion classes, that the bureaucracy will be inefficient What will the consequences be then? I was actually given this argument by an and impersonal, and that our contact with profes-

By Heather Rosenow are taught more about European history than their ture's maturity and level of education if all I saw contemporaries in Europe are taught about was bad acting and materialism. This does lead to One of the many things that I learned from being American history. For example, if you were to ask the inevitable question; why is Baywatch the most in Europe for the last year was that Americans any given Irish student I know or went to college popular show in the world? The fact is, Europeans have a horrible reputation. This reputation with about the American civil war, you would gen- believe everything and anything they see on tele- includes an assumption that our culture consists of erally get a blank stare and a vague comment about vision. Euro-TV is the all omnipotent source of nothing more than MacDonalds, action films, igno- the wrongs of slavery. The criticisms our country information from the world outside of their tiny rance of other cultures, and a compulsive desire to receives for intervening in foreign affairs are numer- little decadent dictatorships. Unfortunately, the let everyone else know how superior we think our ous as well. However the European media is very poor, backward Europeople are at least three years nation is. You can hardly blame them when you quick to switch sides of the fence when it suits them. behind the U.S. in programming, and some of the examine the movies released abroad. If the United States government does not intervene more remote cultural deserts are just finding out 'Independence Day", "Air Force One", and "Red in a situation that would benefit the European about Gidget. If we start now, however, we can Dawn" are good examples. Most Americans, I am Union and its member states if the U.S. military or within a decade begin to influence the minds of sorry to say, can be identified by the condescend- government agencies were to get involved, an these poor misguided people around the globe. By ing way in which they think everything in "the Old almighty uproar ensues. So although the European the end of the century the whole planet will be World" is cute, and amazingly modern. This may Community chooses only to see our hypocrisy, they happily waving the banners of truth, justice, and sound like an exaggeration on my part but I assure are selective about noticing their own. These things American television programming. "I've had it up you I wish this wasn't true. Speaking to Europeans are inevitable of course in any international situa- to HERE with communism, and I'm NOT gonna in general reveals a minimal desire to get to know tion where cultures and systems of law differ. take it anymore!" the culture they see as superficial, plastic, and cre- However the European media and the people they Think about it. The English have problems with ated by a people who think they are the best. cater to have decided that they would rather con- speaking clearly because their flag has been One concept jumped upon in debates abroad was centrate on our inadequacies than their own. shoved so far up their proverbial ass by all their ex- our collective self image. I, and all my other The biggest hurdle to cross in order to bridge this colonial territories, the Irish word for fun is crack American counterparts, were accused of loving problem of cultural ignorances between Europe (craic), the French have issues with everyone our country to the point of blind complacency. In and the United States is, believe it or not, televi- (especially the fresh smelling nations), the Italians short, I was informed that we loved our country so sion. It sounds like a small insignificant idea when harassed two of our staff members to the point of much because we were too ignorant and blind to thrown into the realm of international relations but tears every time they see a thick gold chain and see its faults. look at it like this; Remember when you were told curly chest hair, and the problems with Germany, This last accusation, while in many cases being not to believe everything you see on T.V.? Well the Poland, and Switzerland are far too numerous to true, should not and does not describe the majori- majority of people I spoke to in Europe cited our mention. The solution is screw the rest of the ty of the American public who are brought up television as an example of our cultural depravity, world!! Isolationism is completely underrated. We more and more to question authority. 'Beverly Hills 90210', 'Baywatch', 'Saved by the don't need frogs, pasties, and bog-sucking lep- In fairness, American children and young adults Bell'...ect. For God's sake, I'd wonder about a cul- rechauns!! GO AMERICA!!!!

THE STONY BROOK PRESS PAGE 8 cl -~e4II II -~·sL··BIB~LasB*IP~3~bl-·slC~- ·-Bk~11~61sa~6~$li~L~WEI·b~B~~· ~ LLI -LBQCs~9~ ~e~,, ·U s~B~I ISSUES Research Rift By Jenn Frigger opposed to a situation where professors solely student TA's. Eventually the sludge will make it teach. By employing professors who teach we will down to the undergraduate level just as it always In the recent Princeton Review study it has been be radically changing our learning environment. has, and once again we'll be eating it. Open wide!! shown that Stony Brook ranks highest for the Without graduate students we would be taught by It is obvious that the general trend of the quality amount of graduate students teaching classes. As I less people. This comes into a situation where many of education here at Stony Brook is going to be stated in an article entitled "Trickling Sludge: How larger classes already number as high as 500 in downward if it continues as it has. While our pre- Graduate Policies can Affect the Quality of enrollment. Furthermore, the resources to which medical and biology departments continue to be Undergraduate Education" in our November 26, Stony Brook had access would also decrease greatly. very good, the well-roundedness of even these 1996 issue of the Press, the quality of life for gradu- It is through those professors who partake in majors will suffer. My friend who is majoring in ate students has been threatened. By proposing a research that we come by much of our newest and electrical engineering informed me today that the raise in stipends for graduate students teaching the most important information. It is not always strictly upper division writing requirement is three para- hard sciences the Humanities and Art departments learning materials which teach us, it is also the very graphs for her major. I find this convenient since, are at risk. One possible result which was discussed things which constitute the daily discoveries in a according to her, a language barrier seems to be and later rejected was the moneys could have been field which contribute actively to the way in which stopping many people in that field from creating taken from the Arts and Humanities departments. we learn. I appreciate it when a professor brings in complete English sentences. Furthermore, many Fortunately this was not the case. Instead offers his home slide library to point out important break- other departments which seem to be approaching were changed around to accommodate hard science throughs in archeology or art history. I like knowing mediocrity, have buried within them brilliant TA's by paying them additional money over the that my professors have worked with the people minds who have contributed very much in the summer. Instead of the $9,572.00 they were receiv- who have translated some of our source materials, past. The current trend is to stifle these people and ing, their yearly income would rise to somewhere or maybe even translated them themselves. This seriously lower the quality of our education. between $12-$15,000.00. This, however, would be creates a bond between us and the material, leaving I had in my aforementioned article expressed con- working year round as opposed to the two semester less room for cracks through which information can cern and offense at a comment made by DeRussy periods in which many now work. The only prob- fall or be yanked out by some political agenda. (Pataki's appointed Trustee) that high accessibility lem is that the hard sciences are not the only depart- In addition, if we are placed once removed from and high quality of education are mutually exclu- ments who asked for a raise. This particular deci- a research environment, it creates a rift between us, sive. I have in part changed my opinion on this sion shows clear favoritism toward the sciences, and the students, and the opportunities which we will issue. I feel to a degree that this statement is true. clear ignorance toward all other departments. be looking for later in our academic careers. If I am However, the criteria for the exclusivity of educa- By ignoring the needs in the Graduate depart- studying Philosophy, (which I am), I want to work tion is in my opinion wrong. By cutting such pro- ments of any field outside of the hard sciences the with both professors and graduate students and grams as TAP, money becomes the only criteria for system is ultimately creating less opportunities and researchers in my field. Especially, since I as a stu- accessibility to education. In fact the criteria should therefore positions. Very few people will take an dent might have the intention of going on to grad- be diligence, dedication, intelligence and work- unattractive offer. This will undoubtably cause an uate school, maybe even professorship, shouldn't I manship. When I examine my own life I can't help unwanted shift in the nature of our undergraduate actively partake in that arena now as a prepara- but support capitalism, unfortunately, however, my education here at Stony Brook. Outside of the tion?! Building a wall between undergraduates idealistic goals could not become a reality in such a Administration building hangs a sign which effec- and graduates would be highly detrimental to our monetarily charged environment. And DeRussy, if tively states that research is what one does when educational objectives. you want to help our education so goddamn much, one is not quite sure what one wants to do. It seems With the obvious hostility which Stony Brook has don't you dare use perfectly good arguments to to me that this is the first indication of dangerous thrown at all Arts and Humanities department it disguise the fact that you're taking our money and propaganda designed to change the students' view would suffice to say that there isn't exactly a wel- screwing us over. on a research and development education as come mat or a homefire burning for those graduate

By Norman Solomon paign against the Beef Trust," he remembered, the speech to the Friday Morning Club of Los Angeles, national AP editors "never sent out a single line the L.A. Times printed an editorial under a terse This summer, we've seen the biggest recall of beef injurious to the interests of the packers, save for a headline: "Upton Sinclair's Ravings." in American history -- nine decades after a famous few lines dealing with the congressional hearings, The editorial lamented that the club's podium was book led the federal government to start inspecting which they could not entirely suppress." used "for such ungodly purposes" by "an effemi- meat. If the author were still alive, he wouldn't be To Sinclair, the situation was chronic. "American nate young man with a fatuous smile, a weak chin surprised that serious problems remain. newspapers as a whole represent private interests and a sloping forehead, talking in a false treble" and Upton Sinclair's novel, "The Jungle," included and not public interests," he declared. Journalism uttering "weak, pernicious, vile doctrines." sickening descriptions of Chicago meat-packing operated as "a class institution, serving the rich In 1934, Sinclair ran for governor on a campaign plants. Published in 1907, it jarred the nation and and spurning the poor." platform named EPIC -- "End Poverty In lifted hopes of major reform. But not for long. He despaired at the attitudes that held sway: "My California." When he won the Democratic primary, Later that year, "the lobbyists of the packers had main concern had been for the fate of the workers, business leaders panicked and took the unprece- their way in Washington," Sinclair observed. "The and I realized with bitterness that I had been made dented step of hiring an ad agency to smear meat inspection bill was deprived of all its into a 'celebrity,' not because the public cared any- Sinclair with huge quantities of negative publicity. sharpest teeth, and in that form [President thing about the sufferings of these workers, but Despite an intense media battering that included Theodore] Roosevelt accepted it." simply because the public did not want to eat constant denunciations by California's largest Sinclair warned that the government's failure to tubercular beef." newspapers, Sinclair placed second in a three-way rigorously inspect meat was likely to continue. In 1920, Sinclair finished a book of press criticism race with 38 percent of the vote. Most of all, he blamed the news media. -- "The Brass Check"-- and published it himself. Today, the U.S. Department of Agriculture lacks From the outset, the press gave "The Jungle" a Sales were brisk, totaling 100,000 copies in less the legal authority to order tainted meat off the rough reception. "Can it be possible that anyone is than a year. The book was a scathing attack on the market. And no big media outlet is really calling deceived by this insane rant and drivel?" one wide- media establishment. for an end to poverty in America. ly syndicated newspaper column scoffed. The meat According to "The Brass Check," the press lords The next time you wonder about the beef on your industry mailed out a million copies of that article. regularly prevented a free flow of information: plate, you might think of Upton Sinclair -- and ask "Because of the kindness of American editorial writ- "Journalism is one of the devices whereby indus- yourself why it's still such a media jungle out there. ers to the interests which contribute full-page adver- trial autocracy keeps its control over political tisements to newspapers," Sinclair wrote a dozen years democracy." after the 1907 law went into effect, "the American peo- Such opinions, expressed by a tireless and Norman Solomon is a syndicated columnist. His book ple still have their meat prepared in filth." renowned author, did not exactly endear Sinclair "Wizards of Media Oz: Behind the Curtain of The Associated Press was one of Sinclair's most to newspaper executives around the country. Mainstream News" (co-authored with Jeff Cohen) has powerful adversaries. "Throughout my entire cam- When he moved to Southern California and gave a just been published by Common Courage Press.

SEPTEMBER , 1997 PAGE 9 ISSUES ---~- -rr-~-·--_ ----L~-- L_-C-)----L~·L~L~UIII lb~9)1 -4 ~_b-~s e, -~-CCPIIC sC-- - 1_ ~ L~IFL_ I~L~3~L~s~L·IB~ SIL I -·C ~ II ...... - .~~~S ...... :... , :. F-...... :. : ...... :...... T:...... :..... y:•.• c...... :: ,... :.o ,,. .... " , i: _.. .:.....

By James Polichak memory, personal relationships, decision-mak- late a logical approach to their study, and ing, the internal workings of the brain, human interpret their results, it won't be long until the Psychology is the most popular undergraduate development, belief-formation, and perception robots rise up against their fleshy overlords major at Stony Brook. Approximately 900 psych are just some of the phenomena examined by and we'll all be out of a job. To further achieve majors are roaming around out there. You may psychologists (and research in many of these these goals, you should consider taking now be one of them, or may become one in the areas is performed by faculty at Stony Brook). Advanced Statistics and some of the advanced future. In fact, since psychology is the most com- Forming your opinion about psychology from laboratory-research classes that are offered in m n (or modal) major, if you are currently unde-- the mushroom-like proliferation of 'self-help' the various areas of psychology. Graduate cided as to a major, your best bet is that you will books and 'relationship experts' that has schools will look far more favorably upon a choose psychology. At some time, most other occurred in recent years is about as accurate as student who has taken these than one who has students will come into contact with the field of forming your opinion of physics from looking at successfully passed Intro to Every-Area-That- psy :hology, either by taking classes or interact- those cute little hologram pendants available at an-Intro-Course-is-Offered-For, and some ing with psych-major friends. the mall. If nothing interests you in Intro to require them. Here are a few things you should know about Psych, you are quite odd, and should not con- If large classes and lack of contact with faculty psychology in general, and at Stony Brook in sider psychology as your major. have you bit dismayed, you should take advan- particular. This information will be of the great- The first class you should take after Intro is tage of Stony Brook's numerous opportunities to est use to those of you who are psychology Statistics. Statistics is more than just a require- work as a research assistant (an RA). This is an majors and who are considering graduate ment for the psych major. Statistics is a set of area where Stony Brook excels; something (for school in psychology. From my experience, that mathematical techniques (no, you should not once) that would not have been better had you will include many of the psychology majors or become a psychology major because you don't attended some small liberal arts college. As a potential psychology majors out there. like math) developed by a number of eminent research assistant, you will get to work with fac- First off, the psychology department is locat- biologists and social scientists in the late-nine- ulty and graduate students on actual psycholog- ed in two adjoining buildings roughly smack- teenth and early-twentieth centuries (they don't ical research as it is being performed. You will dab in the middle of campus call it Pearson's prod- gain hands-on experience and be able to partici- (which makes it roughly rather uct-moment correla- pate in the process that has produced all of the far from any parking). These tion for nothing) that exciting results from your content-oriented buildings are known, sensibly form the basis for courses. You will also gain valuable access to enough, as Psychology A and nearly all psychologi- faculty and graduate students, so you can see Psychology B. Psych A is the cal research today. You what they really do and if you are really inter- one closer to the library, Psych cannot get a degree in ested in becoming one of them. B closer to the Javits center. The psychology without Being an RA will also allow you to obtain Psych buildings are where your passing Statistics, you another necessity for being admitted to gradu- professor's and teaching assis- cannot get into gradu- ate school, the Letter of Recommendation. In tant's offices and laboratories ate school in psycholo- order to get into graduate school, you will need are (with a few exceptions). gy without excelling at least three good letters of recommendation; This is also where you will have in Statistics, you can- preferably at least some of these will come from to go to dive into the Subject not succeed, for the someone in the area you are interested in going Pool and sign up for any most part, as a psy- to grad school for. The only way a faculty mem- required research for your chologist without an ber can get to know you well enough to write a classes. The Psych buildings are in-depth knowledge good letter for you is through close contact in a not, with few exceptions, where your psychol- of statistics. Even if you intend to be a therapist of research setting. Also, letters from graduate stu- ogy classes will meet. Psychology classes tend some sort, the first two conditions hold. If you dents carry far less weight to admissions com- to meet in large rooms in Javits, Engineering, want to do any kind of academic research in psy- mittees, so try your best to get your letters from and Harriman Hall. This is because, if you chology, including in the clinical area, you must real professors. haven't guessed this from the popularity of be good at statistics. If you experience fear and Stony Brook's psychology department is quite the major, psychology classes are mostly large loathing of math, you will have to get over this varied and is quite good in all of its areas, giv- classes, especially the introductory classes. A and learn to love statistics. If you can't, you ing you lots of opportunities for research in helpful tip is this: people who sit toward the should seriously consider another major (but something that interests you. Fliers are posted front of class tend to get higher grades This don't pick sociology, political science, economics, all over the Psych buildings with information may be because smarter people selectively sit or evolutionary biology, all of whom's love of sta- about how to become an RA. You can also in the front, but why not try it anyway. As you tistics rivals, if not exceeds that of psychology's). learn more by asking the people in the may learn while taking a psych class, a good After you have experienced the many joys of Undergraduate Advising Office, who maintain way to become something is to act as if you statistics, you should move on to Research a database of researchers who want RAs and are that thing. If you force yourself to smrile Methods. Again, this is a necessary class, for what kinds of RAs they want. Unsurprisingly, while waiting on any of the long lines you the same reasons as Statistics is. Psychologists most researchers (like most graduate schools) might find yourself on around here, you wil do research, and they use statistics to analyze want intelligent, motivated, students with a be happier. this research. All of the information that will genuine interest in the research being perform Your first psychology class will be be presented to you in any other psychology in the particular lab. So keep your grades up Introduction to Psychology. This will likely con- course is the product of research and statistical and don't just try to be an RA in any lab. This sist of a few hundred of your fellow students in analysis. Take these classes as soon as possible will be the most valuable approach for both a very large lecture hall. You should take advan- and devote your full attention to them. They you and the researchers you will be working tage of this class, as its name suggests, to intro- will aid you considerably in comprehending with. In sum, Stony Brook's psychology duce you to the various areas of psychological the material presented to you in any other psy-- department offers you the opportunity for a study, to see what interests you that you might chology course. Good performance in these good start toward becoming a successful psy- want to study more of. Intro to Psychology classes and an excellent working knowledge of chologist, if that's your desire; or to just gain a should dispel the most common misconception these techniques are necessary for admittance good working knowledge of psychology. This of about psychology held by the general public, to a graduate program and for success as a will not occur without some effort on your and maybe by you. This misconception is that psychologist. If anything, a good knowledge of part; you must take challenging courses and psychology consists entirely of therapy and research methodology is more important than engage in research. And remember, it's best to study of mental disorders. While these are inter- a good knowledge of statistics. Computers can take more math classes when you have some esting and thriving areas of psychology, the field do much of your statistical work for you. free space in your schedule, and try some com- consists of much more. Psychologists study However, when the day comes that machines puter science while you're at it. human behavior of all kinds: learning, language, can ask interesting research questions, formu-

THE STONY BROOK PRESS PAGE 10 _ _ s ~IS~R--~-C-~P- ~.__pC-pl- ---~ ~ -- b4 -~IIY-~RL -bl---~L-~ - ~C-·-~-~-L-I~~_·~li~BQ~D·-s~-~PPs L -be~rlR ~ra~BL-sl --cL·dgmCI- n~p~,--~a ISSUES 1Y T..H3JChuI1LreOýeXI By Michael Yeh step by step, the professors give partial credit for dents that their chances for acceptance are horri- small errors as long as the major concepts are ble, and that they shouldn't bother applying. So, Although there are no absolute rules for mak- correct. Although more work may have been the only students that apply are outstanding ing choices in one's academic career, there are required in the honors class, it offered more for- ones who would get in easily. many misconceptions that students pass on to giving grading policies and treated students like Remember that the decision to pursue your new people on campus. The best way to avoid human beings instead of numbers on a roster. goals is yours alone, so take your advisor's them is to speak to as many people as possible Check with a faculty advisor in your depart- words with a grain of salt. Never allow others to before making decisions. The following com- ment to find the course that suits you. Also try prevent you from doing something you truly ments are my personal pet peeves, and do not to speak to students who have taken the course love. necessarily reflect the opinions of the students, to find out what the professor expects from stu- Summer session courses are easier than those faculty, administrators, or victims of the dents. offered during the school year. University at Stony Brook. All upper-division classes are "harder"than I have never taken summer courses at Stony The telephone registration system is the best introductory classes. Brook, so I can't say for certain that they are way to take care of administrative affairs. worse than courses in the regular school year. r .· t As I mentioned above, Since many courses The administration touts this system as the introductory courses are taught by adjunct most convenient way to register for class, pay can be huge and imper- faculty, some students your bills, and to run other errands that would sonal. Some people sug- mistakenly think that normally require a trip to the Administration gest that certain science the grading policies building. But it is not perfect, and often one classes are designed to would be more would have to clear things up in person. weed-out prospective lenient. But one semes- The telephone system is handy for pre-regis- majors and to trim the ter's worth of material tration when one is off-campus or just too lazy number of "pre-meds". is crammed into six to walk across campus. But the system does not The bottom line is, weeks during the sum- allow students to register for more than 17 cred- DON'T take a class mer, so a lot of work is its. It can also be slow or even inoperable at the unless you're really required. beginning of the semester when too many peo- interested in the subject Occasionally, stu- ple try to use it. and are willing to work dents take summer Sometimes, the computer can make errors and your ass off for it! classes after learning mess up one's schedule in bizarre ways. It is There are plenty of for- the same material else- often difficult to sort out these mistakes, which mer phony "pre-meds" where. I was once in require one to shuffle through many offices. wno surrerea in intro- i San organic cnemistry It can be easier to register in person and to con- ductory chemistry and biology because they class at Columbia University that was full of dis- firm everything early than to fix errors after the were pressured to take these courses by practi- gusting pre-meds who learned the material semester has begun. Of course, this strategy cal-minded parents or relatives despite the stu- from Kaplan and who had already taken the involves some waiting on lines, it's no less dents' lack of interest. MCAT. Naturally, they knew the material well painful than listening to the silly inhuman voice Professors are often strict and uncompromis- and they pushed the grading curve up so high on the phone. ing in these classes because of the large class that one required an exam average of 95 or size. Be prepared to study every day, for the above to get an 'A". Honors classes are always "harder" than regu- competition can be fierce. It's unfortunate that Unless you are really desperate to satisfy a lar classes. students have to scramble for grades, but that's requirement, don't bother to torture yourself what it frequently comes down to. with summer school. If you insist on attending It is often difficult to judge a class by its name, Upper-division courses cover more specialized summer session, try to take DEC requirements and many students assume an "honors" topics, and often require a good grasp of the or other "fun" courses instead of hard-core sci- course must be harder to pass than a regular introductory material. But if you sign up for an ences. Your brain probably deserves a rest, course at the same level. This is not necessarily upper-division class, chances are that you truly anyway. true, for the each instructor may have different care for the subject. Going to class won't be as expectations. much of a chore anymore, and except for large Research is only for exceptional students In certain introductory lecture courses, pro- science classes, professors are often more fessors are rarely able to know the students approachable. Upper-division courses can offer Although the administration loves to boast well. This is especially true for large science a more meaningful learning experience than that we're a "major research university", classes such as Chemistry 131. Although the introductory courses. many students are hesitant to find research Honors Chemistry (CHE 141) class is also large, projects. There is also a banner in front of the students have more opportunities to interact Advisors are the most reliable sources of Administration building that reads, "Research with the faculty. information. is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm Exams can be quite stressful in CHE 131, since doing." In reality, experience is not mandato- the faculty use a multiple-choice format to It takes a lot of experience to become an effec- ry, although it can be helpful. Students do not accommodate the large class. A typical exam tive academic advisor. Different advisors may usually need extensive knowledge about any contains approximately ten questions that offer different suggestions, so one has to be pre- particular subject to begin. The most impor- often involve lengthy calculations. Even if you pared to make difficult decisions. Try to speak to tant factor is the willingness to devote a lot of understand the concepts thoroughly, a simple peer advisors, teaching assistants, professors, time and effort to learning the methods for the arithmetic error can screw you up for the and other students as well. These people can research. semester. No partial credit is accepted, and often give you the straight dope on academic The easiest way to find a faculty mentor is to each incorrect answer can drop an exam grade issues from their own experiences. obtain a list of professors from the department by ten points. Pre-professional advisors probably have the in which you are interested. After you narrow Students in Honors Chemistry are encouraged worst reputations. Many universities like to down your choices, find a couple of journal arti- to understand the material instead of merely boast of high acceptance rates to medical and cles or other publications written by these pro- memorizing formulae and constants. Each stu- law schools. (Stony Brook reports that 90% of fessors. Then, meet these professors in person, dent is allowed to bring a hand-written index students with a GPA above 3.5 are accepted to explain why you'd love to work with them, and card containing any relevant information to the medical school.) But rumor has it that pre-med- hope for the best! exams. Since each problem has to be written out ical advisors are told to persuade average stu-

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THE STONY BROOK PRESS PAGE 12 - ·II · ~I I--- - ~-- --~-4-s~-~I~P~S~B~FI~·L1~~ CZAP 97

iA0,

Your life sucks.

It often seems that no matter what you do, you just can't win. What to do?

Insimilar situations, many people turn to unpleasant avenues, cheating and stealing to get ahead. Others take even more dras- tic measures. Dr. Faustus sold his soul to the devil to get ahead. Fortunately, you don't have to take such risk.

Sell your soul to us. -- :-:: We're not satanists or even really evil in any measureable way... we're just your average college students with a taste for the metaphysical. 411 you have to do is come down to our office and sign a simple contract, giving us the editorial board of the Stony Brook Press, your eternal soul. irn, we will become your benefactors, helping you to achieve your goals and turn your ife around. We'll also give you some free space inour next issue to do with as you W

The Stony Brook Press reserves the right to reject souls on the basis of moral, personal or metaphysical problems.

SEPTEMBER 17, 1997 PAGE 13 ISSUES ...... hey, that fat kid's a serial killer!

By James Polichak n't thought of in about 30 years, only to turn a page by assorted police department memorabilia. She mere minutes later and discover that person's obit- obtain these momentos by, as the headline stated, "A fifty-something woman in New York experi- uary. Alvarez, being quite mathematically minded, being the "psychic friend" of the NYPD and other ences a sudden flash of heat that jerks her up from produced a set of calculations, the details of which area police departments. Psychics thrive upon the her deep sleep. At that very moment, three thou- are unimportant here, showing that, with reason- gullibility of people and people's willingness to sand miles away, her husband spontaneously com- able assumptions, astounding coincidences like the accept lucky guesses and coincidence as insight. busts after a night of drinking grain alcohol and one above should happen at a rate of about ten a Happily, the Times article gives us a detailed carousing with crack-whores." day in the U.S. This figure would be higher now, example of the kind of service this soi-disant 'psy- We've all heard similar stories from our friends, given a larger and more dense population, causing chic' performs for the police, so we can assess the parents, the TV (our best friend of all and surrogate more people to know more other people than in ability of our law-enforcement personnel to uti- parent) about such amazing coincidences. They are the past. Coincidences involving loved ones lize information and evaluate it. They fair rather marketed as true examples of the unexplainable should occur even more often since people think poorly. bonds between loved ones, flashes of extrasensory and worry about them more than they think about The 'psychic', one Dorothy Allison, was asked(!) perception, reasons why you should buy cool- the fat kid in third grade whose pants fell down on by the NYPD to help find the missing wife of a looking black books with pyramids on the covers field day, for example. transit police officer. She gave them a list of items, and lots of prettily-illustrated mysteries inside. The problem is that when a coincidence occurs supposedly clues. This list included six different Supposedly, they are beyond the ability of science we try to do some ames. So much for precision. to explain and the only way you can really know brief mental calcu- But, the way these things what's going on about these bonds that transcend lations concerning work, if any of these names time and space is to send Time-Life Books $19.95 how probable that had been helpful or even plus shipping and handling (I know this Time-Life particular event close (none were), this example is fairly old, but it is the most prominent was: how likely is it would have counted as organization I can think of who has cashed in on that we were think- accurate. Among the few 'accurate' this idiocy, with the possible exception of ing of that fat kid clues Ms. Allison Scientology, but that's a whole other lawsuit- from third grade at gave the investigators were: 'a beige or light-colored car', happy sack of ferrets that I chose not to open here). that exact moment What many will find surprising, due to the stri- that he appeared or a serious accident in the dent and numerous efforts of psychic-mystery- the TV news as a serial killer, how likely is it that area', 'abandoned building', 'old junk cars', 'some book promoters, is that Science (with help from its on our vacation to London we meet the prostitute type of explosion in the area', and 'golf course'. friend and ours, Math) can readily explain these we lost our virginity to, and so on. Our mental cal- Given that the police were searching a vacant lot coincidences. culations pretty quickly, and fairly accurately tell near the East River in Brooklyn, one would be sur- (A brief aside about spontaneous combustion us that the likelihood of this event prised if all of these things (with the except of the before we go on. According to a Learning Channel occurring is incredibly small. In mathematical golf course) failed to turn up. Note that specifying documentary, just about every instance of sponta- terms, what we are doing is calculating the proba- 'light-colored car' effectively included half of all neous combustion has involved overweight people bility of an intersection of the specific features of cars in the world. Who couldn't make such a pre- falling asleep with lit cigarettes on highly flamma- an event. This is obtained by multiplying together diction? The odd 'accurate' clue given, the golf ble pieces of furniture, near a heat source like a the probabilities of each part of the coincidence course, was not even truly accurate: the Times stove or heater. The fat person smolders and melts (that we saw that person at that time in that place decided that the police finding some old golf balls like a candle. The only mystery here is how writers while wearing those shoes, etc.) This results in one was close enough. If you look at the list in detail, can so easily get away with leaving out the infor- of those extremely small numbers you get when you will notice that the number of 'clues' that were mation that would explain the mystery.) you multiply fractions together and makes us feel not even close greatly outnumber the number that Essentially, what makes these coincidences seem that what has just occurred is indeed special. were, and these were the more precise and specific so mysterious is that we notice them. The hypo- Unfortunately, these mental calculations are not items (like the six names given. Apparently psy- thetical woman above happened to notice that she the ones we should be making; we are wrong and chics get graded on a scale that gives them credit had a heat flash at about the time her husband we are also not special. for trying, but does not assess penalties for wrong spontaneously combusted. Others have dreamed What we should be doing is (as Alvarez did with answers). The sheer folly of all of this is completed of their sons in car accidents the night before they his calculations) wondering how likely it is that we by examining the results of the investigation that happen, and so on. We'll ignore the extremely will see anyone we know at an unexpected time or Ms Allison's 'clues' prompted. While a number of strong possibility that these people are incorrectly place or on TV. or as our new cellmate. This is the her 'clues' were somewhat, though trivially, accu- recalling the sequences of events or making things union of events, and is calculated by adding up the rate, in describing the surroundings and contents up. This Happens much more often than people probabilities of the individual features of an event. of the vacant lot searched, they did not lead to the think and is the subject of much psychological This is quite difficult to accurately calculate, but it's missing person. All that was found in the lot, aside inquiry, particularly with regard to eyewitness tes- not like anyone was really multiplying together from some golf balls, were two dead dogs. While timony in the legal system. specific numbers in the above discussion. We just Ms Allison continues to insist that "parts of the list We notice these coincidences when they occur intuitively know that it's got to be real small. were right on the money," I'm sure that the Transit and tell others about them. What we do not con- Thinking about coincidences in terms of how like- Officer feels that a pair of dead dogs are hardly an sider, as anyone who has taken a statistics class ly any surprising event is to occur, rather than the adequate substitute for his missing wife. should know, are the times when we think about specific one we are faced with, should make us feel Psychics and other promoters of mystical phe- something bad happening to someone that we that the likelihood of experiencing a mysterious nomena depend on our failure to think critically know and nothing happens and the times when coincidence is rather high. about what we experience and what they tell us. something bad happens as a complete surprise. Some of you out there may be now asking, "why We are all too willing to accept that something is special These occasions are likely to be much more com- should we care if a few people engage in some and exciting without considering more mon. We quickly forget about these occasions and sloppy thinking that prompts them to maybe send complete and accurate explanations. While this do not recall them when an astounding coinci- twenty bucks to Time-Life? What effect will this may be kinda cute when teenage girls dress-up in dence occurs; we certainly don't make a point of have on me with my superior logical abilities?" black and dabble in witchcraft, it is much less so telling our neighbors and friends about our many Well, the vote of a sloppy thinker is equal to that of when it is our police officers, law-makers, and failed premonitions. the logical thinker in this nation, and these people teachers who are doing so. We also tend to think of coincidences in ways that are responsible for teaching children, testifying in make them seem more special than they are. Luis courts, and so on. And, more depressingly, belief in Alvarez (a prominent physicist and one of the orig- this kind of phenomena is found in places we (Lots more interesting information about why we inal developers of the theory that it was an asteroid should prefer it not be found: in those responsible believe in something when we should know better can be or comet impact that killed off the dinosaurs) for creating and enforcing laws that affect all of us. found in: Believing in Magic, by Stuart Vyse (1997) offered an interesting example and analysis (1965, The cover page of the New York Times Metro and How We Know What Isn't So, by Thomas Gilovich are available in the main library.) Science, 148, p.1541). Alvarez was reading a news- Section on July 21 featured a large photo of an (1991). Both of these paper article that led him to recall a person he had- normal-looking New Jersey woman surrounded

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By Jennifer Choy had a large propensity towards helplessness, and that, OK, I would be willing to keep my radio off apparently felt that naturally, others would be glad between 12 AM and 8 AM, but then anymore Me? I was clingy for most of my life. For my first and willing to help her, not just for the sake of pity- requests for favors would no longer be welcomed couple years of school I cried every morning, just ing her, but also so she wouldn't have to bother (I know, I suck.). Naturally, like any sponge, my as my mom had gotten me into school and was learning whatever it was she wanted others to do. roommate proceeded to say, with painstaking ready to leave. I was hysterical. She couldn't leave There were also things that she complained about innocence and hinted, puppy-dog sorrow, that she me! It was scary, not only because I was clingy and even though I offered her warnings regarding has never really asked for anything from me. That always wanted her to be around, but also because them in the first place. I told her that I have a ten- this was her only one request. I was so damned paranoid as well; I always knew dency to wake up really early in the morning. She Yet, my roommate was just part of my rocky task that there was a chance that if she left, she would- said OK, and then when I actually did, she asked of adjusting to this pet-named "home away from n't come back. I don't know, too much media expo- me to not turn on the lights, or if I had to, to only home." While my introverted, hermitic self was sure? Maybe I kept up to date with the news. turn on the outside lights, and make sure to close desperately trying to keep on more than tolerable In the past 2 years, however, I have unburdened the door as well. I also told her beforehand that I grounds with the roommate I was married, er, ser- myself of a great deal of that parental, as well as get really late phone calls sometimes (the range is vant to, I felt as if the vegan, health-nut, used to my peer, attachment. Now, it is my mommy's turn to wide open). She said OK, and then when the first own cooking parts of me that completed my reclu- cry. Heh. Of course, I'm not particularly glad about late phone call came, asked me to lower my voice, sive self were being torn from me. Hey, I know, being able to make my mom cry. Her response and as I was already speaking with a whisper under there have been enough people that have com- regard to my departure has been quite amusing two layers of my blanket. plained about the taste, and probably appearance, though. When it was final that I would be going All of this was making me grit my teeth while of the food, but for me, the first and foremost away for college, my mom's initial, panic-induced under respectful tolerance already. Especially issues are the origins of the food (not the store the response was, "But how will I be able to talk to because I had realized at that point that I was bow- food came from, OK) and with what the food was her?" My dad, with his ever-present blunt realism, ing down to her and either taking her orders or prepared. Some places make it easier for me to dis- "I think they have phones there." After more, not doing things to benefit her, while I haven't even cern the taboo from the praised, as they list the necessarily clear, thought, my mom finally pro- requested the barest modicum of her services yet. nutrient analyzes, and I am able to look for choles- posed the following analogy: sending me away to Hell, the most I told her to do was to not do certain terol content, which can only be obtained from live at college is just like giving me to marriage. things, such at not pushing aside the part of one of those products taken from animals. Heh, most Oh, but could college perhaps be more pleasant?? the window blinds that I used to protect my com- people check cholesterol content for the sakes of Or could these two instances be more comparable puter and stereo from the sun. And, of course, like their hearts and blood vessels, I do it for the sake of than I thought? After waiting until the end of many marriages continue to sour as the couple my vegan lifestyle. But what has really been both- August (much like waiting to get married after begins to realize their incompatibility and the ering me is the process of the food's preparation. being engaged for a whole year) before getting my, magic of their dreams begin to ebb, my life with Stony Brook seems to gloriously tout this new hmm, so-called, "Welcome Packet," I found out my roommate kept on sauntering down. Chinese stir-fry option it has available in the new that I was to be initially placed in a temporary The next thing my roommate wished for was that Student Activities Center, that can serve vegetarian room. Ah, so there I was, still in the limbo of being my stereo be turned off between the hours of 12 dishes to order, but I can't see what is so vegetari- in between places, unsure and set, just plain AM and 8 AM, because she claimed that she need- an about a dish of veggies that has just been stir- engaged and happily (you add your own quota- ed at least 8 hours of sleep and if she didn't get at fried on the same surface that pieces of meat have tion marks) married. least 8 hours of sleep, she would experience a bad been pushed around on as well. Then, during check-in day, I got introduced to a headache. Apparently, after telling me, in her Of course, you can tell me that the problems are room that appears to have taken some beatings; dreamy stupor, to turn off my radio, she told me just in my head, you can tell me that I am an either that, or I was entering prison. And when my that she was already having a headache, even extremist (you can be the thousandth), but I bet roommate moved in, I noticed that she had only though the volume was almost negligent (hey, it your health hasn't improved or stayed as well as it brought one piece of luggage, compared to my registered at 0.2). Yeah, so here is where the argu- was since you've got here. Yeah, I know, some of filled left-side of the room. Excess emotional bag- ment begins, as the partner who has been so you are happy with the food, and a lot more are gage on my part; ignorance of the impending situ- pathetically passive suddenly flares up and eradi- happy with their marriages (I'm happier in my ation and lack of experience on my roommate's! cates the other's sense of superiority, or at least, new one), but don't rely on your friendly college to Next, the things that I was afraid of in the first notion of power. But I felt that to be too much of a look out for you when you have yourself to do place and hoped to be able to avoid became almost hateful and impressionable approach, so, with that. torturous realities. For one thing, my roommate straightforwardness and determination, I told her

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By Terry McLaren with you, you're screwed. The nearest one I've utes early because I felt really sick. found is across the basement and up the stairs. All summer as I muddled through my Dungeon When my friend first told me to meet her at the Besides humid air, a wonderful breeding ground workouts, sweat splashing every which way (pity Dungeon, I thought she was joking. We were going for germs, the Dungeon equipment is dirty. People's the people who were sitting next to me) I kept to the Sports Complex to work out together and I sweat and God knows what else get all over the thinking "This has to be temporary." It became a hadn't been there for a while. She explained that the machines every day, and I haven't seen any evi- sort of mantra for my workout friend and I. As the weight room had been moved from the first floor to dence of cleaning. Every other gym I've worked out fall semester approached, there were signs of life the bowels of the Complex. The old weight room in has had paper towel dispensers on the wall so from the weight room's previous location. But had air conditioning and lots of big windows that you can thoughtfully wipe down anything you've when the renovations were completed, a new aca- provided natural light. All in all, it was a pretty good soaked with sweat, but not this little slice of hell. Of demic center and a couple of offices were where place to work out. I figured the Dungeon had just course, if you've thought ahead and brought a people once exercised in airconditioned semi-com- been tagged that because of its basement location. towel, you can use that. But chances are, your face fort. My worst fears were confirmed when I made Boy was I surprised when I saw this replacement and body have met that towel many times before a few phone calls yesterday and was informed that weight room. It's in the basement past the hallway the machine does, thus defeating the cleaning pur- the empowered of the Sports Complex had no that overlooks the racquetball courts. The room is pose somewhat. I've also seen staff members spray- intention of moving the Dungeon. I said the first downright ugly and remains constantly dark ing and cleaning all surfaces at the end of the day in thing that occurred to me after that. "Really? Uhh, despite the hideous fluorescent lighting. AND IT'S other gym facilities of campus. I have yet to even see you mean it?" HOT!! The basement has absolutely no ventilation a staff person in the Dungeon. Can't say I blame Apparently they're "working on" getting an air whatsoever and with the summer heat, it's a sauna. them either. Who'd want to work there? I found this conditioner or something for the torture room that It really wasn't too hot outside this summer, but the grossness to be mildly upsetting at worst until I people tax their bodies in datly. Having been a temperature doubled in the Dungeon. The place is scraped the inside of my leg on the bike one day. Stony Brook student for a while, I'm not expecting screaming for some fresh air. The room is huge and Half an hour later the spot I'd mildly scraped was anything anytime soon. Those of us who've been the exercisers are thoughtfully provided with a completely red and swollen. I was thankful I'd had here more than a week, and I'm sure some of the whole two fans for the entire area, one in the front my shots so my chances of gangrene were slim. new students as well, know just how fast the of the room and one in the back. If everyone hap- Thinking I might have been overreacting a bit, I wheels of progress turn in this hallowed institu- pens to be concentrated in the same space, like my decided to see if I was the only unhappy sweaty tion. I believe a sloth on barbiturates moves faster. favorite hangout- the exercise bikes, the one fan person in the Dungeon. The people I talked to only As for me and my quest for a healthy workout within 100 ft. can at least be turned to face you as echoed my feelings. I was told by someone that he environment, when the SAC's Wellness Center you sweat from the effort of trying to breathe in this avoided working out there because of the condi- reopens on Monday the 15th I'll be overjoyed. It's sweatbox. God forbid someone disagree with your tions. A friend of mine said, "I go there to feel bet- been a long 3 weeks. The Wellness Center is clean choice of fan placement, though. It's been proven ter about myself and end up feeling worse." and air conditioned, with a friendly, supportive that aggression increases in hotter environments Literally. In other campus gyms I can easily do 30 staff and modern equipment. When I was a Stony and fistfights have damn near broken out over the minutes at a fast pace on an exercise bike without Brook resident, I also enjoyed these qualities in the fan being scooted over an inch. Not to mention the straining myself. In the Dungeon, not only did I Mount Fitness Center, but now that I'm reduced to dirty looks being given... There is also no water have a slower average speed and burn fewer calo- commuter status, when the Wellness Center closed fountain nearby, so if you don't bring a water bottle ries, but many times had to stop myself ten min- I got a sickening taste of Dungeon life. - -''' - -- ' -- - --

Mdlr......

r MetB^ i - ITTN that handles the to Mysteries solv

I ,AIAtIJ I.evjvs punnvureai Enigmas unraveled! Do you have a question of philosophical, metaphysical, paranormal or universal significance?

Send it to: Question the Answers c/o Stony Brook Press 060 Student Union Stony Brook, NY 11794

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to s press r emao

THE STONY BROOK PRESS PAGE 16 ~C~Lp·B --r · tlC II i~C~ -- L L~~ C- --L - ~ C -I_ _--~d - ---~-- C- I FEATURES aVwe It Iwo Way one chick's rant on Furger King

By Marlo Allison Del Toro They don't listen even when I go into my safety er about my plan to start a boycott against Burger hazards speech. King (okay, so I get a little ambitious and vindic- Troubled Childhood Memories tive when I get peeved) he told me about when he Bicyclists And Pedestrians Beware used to work at the King. M.M. told me about BK's My earliest memory of Burger King happened flame broiled beef patties. To flame broil the meat, when I was about seven years old. Daddy and I One day early last summer I had to bike past the patties are put on a conveyer belt style cooker. had been out shopping. On our way home to have Stony Brook Burger King on Nesconset Highway. When they go through once, the outside of the dinner we decided to stop at the Stony Brook The following is the story of BK's killer flags. burger is cooked, but the inside is "raw and Burger King to get a strawberry shake for me and Background info: In front of the Hess gas station, bloody." The patties are supposed to be put a chocolate shake for my mom. Daddy ordered at a few stores down from the King, are several flags. through a second time, but after the second broil- the drive-through and pulled the car up to the win- These flags are two feet in from the public (as in ing the burger is burnt (i.e. char broiled). This may dow (this was back in the day when there was only taxpayer funded, belongs to the people) side- explain why although they may smell good, the one window to pay and get your food). We waited walk/bicycle path. The flags are firmly situated King's burgers taste bad. fifteen minutes. Daddy and I could see that there and fly about seven feet above the ground. M.M. then told me that during a rush, some of were no customers inside (and no one else at drive- In contrast, Burger King, all new and shiny after the employees will take the patties off of the through). There were, however, a man in a tie reconstruction (through which they were open: broiler after only one time through, so the burg- (manager?) and three giggling and chatting imagine the construction debris that flew into the ers aren't fully cooked. This is kind of scary employees/bimbettes. After fifteen minutes the food then), has put up their own flags. The poles of when you remember that Burger King was the drive-through bimbette told us that it would only the flimsy things are on the edge of the side- biggest customer of Hudson (E. coli scare of the be a minute more before we would get our two walk/bike path., and the flaes fly three feet off the summer) Foods Co.'s Nebraska plant's raw item order. Five minutes later, as she was walking ground. frozen beef patties. To their up with our shakes, Daddy drove away. I drank I'm biking past, having credit, Burger King not only apple juice with dinner that night. stupidly forgotten my pulled the patties when the When we got home that night Daddy yelled helmet, when a flag recall was announced; they something fierce. He said that he was never going either falls on me or gets also stopped buying from to Burger King again. And he didn't. caught on my handle Hudson. And I didn't think about our unofficial boycott of bars, causing me to fall. Hopefully, their employees Burger King until... Through pants, my knee have stopped 'quickie' cooking got all scraped up and the meat. Anti-Family Values my hands as well, with little bits of pavement in Onion Rings: A Meal In Senior year of high school I lived in Texas with the bloody abrasions. Review my sisters. That year I met my first love, and lost The gears on my bike him to Brandi, the bitch from Burger King. also got messed up (a Since I knew I was going to be One day my boyfriend told me that the girl at the $20-30 tune-up could fix writing about Burger King, I drive-through at Burger King had given her phone that, if I had the money). thought I should visit USB's number to his father to give to him. She'd seen I picked myself up, Roth Food Court BK. As I them there together once. He'd decided to call her, grabbed the offending stepped up to the counter to just to be friendly. flag, and limped into Burger King (actually, I order, I became too afraid to order any meat, so I I called him the day after Valentine's Day, and limped for two weeks and the skin on my knee is just got a medium drink and onion rings. The she answered. I talked to her briefly, so she knew still discolored). I walked up to a man in a tie drink was fine, soda is safe anywhere, but the he and I were together. She started seeing him (manager?) threw down the flag, showed him my onion rings were small and dry. Onion rings, I anyway. bloody hands and told him what was the matter. remember from my youth, were the one thing I I once again vowed never to go to Burger King, He said, "Is there anything I can do for you?" And loved at Burger King, but White Castles are much the land of moral-less vixens. And I didn't, until I I thought, what is he going to do, offer me a Band- better (larger, juicier). And you know if White became a desperate, poor, starving college student. Aid to keep the bits of gravel in my hand or some Castle has better food there's something wrong free food coupons? I yelled, "No, I don't even eat with the King. So, if you want to "Get your burg- Woman Can Not Live On Bagels And Chinese here," and stormed out. (If I'd have hit my head, I ers worth," eat somewhere else. Food Alone would have sued.) Five minutes later, said man in tie went out to put Endnote: A Fast Breaking News Story And that's all there is to eat by my job. So, since the flag back up. I don't drive, I am at the mercy of my co-workers Just so that you don't think this was a lone inci- Burger King is so proud of its "flame-broiled in getting anything other than the aforementioned. dent: L.C. told me that twice when he biked past Whopper" that they put the darn thing in every ad I admit it, I broke down. I'm weak. I need calo- the King he almost fell when flags threatened to and commercial they make. It's even the entrance ries. So one day when T.B. said he was only going grab hold of his handlebars. to their web site (click on the almighty Whopper to to Burger King, I had him get me a chicken sand- Oh, and as a post script, the flags are slowly dis- enter the official Burger King site at www.burgerk- wich, which ended up not tasting quite right (see appearing. Disgruntled bicyclists, people with ing.com). But if the Whopper is so fab, why is BK cooking habits, below). walkers, or the act of a higher being? planning to release a new burger, a Big Mac rip-off: My co-workers, for their part, don't listen when I "The Big King." say we need to boycott the King. Even so they com- Cooking Habits And The Hudson Foods Scare plain of long waits when there are no lines, and not-as-good-as-they-used-to-be food. One day last month, while telling a new co-work-

SEPTEMBER 1, 1997 PAGE 17 FEATURES ~ ~-LI-9-. i ' · I · ~--~~--bllrC c-e~ll ~-~-e- ~t~------~-3-~ -- -LII · ·- ~i -~ ·

MoV I SE-I E I IS

Fall Movie Preview Baldwin, whom he suspects of having an affair the superiority of your DNA. When one "natural By Chris Cartusciello with his wife (Elle Macpherson). On top of all this, birth" man (Ethan Hawke) tries to buck the system they are being stalked by a huge grizzly bear. This typical carnage ensues. More than just a futuristic Now that the studios have emptied their vaults is a winner for sure. (Sept. 26) morality play, Gattaca tries to make you think of all the big budget, high action, testosterone- The Gingerbread Man : This story, from John about where we could be headed in the not too dis- laced summer films, we can settle down for a few Grisham's very first screenplay, has been kicked tant future. (Oct. 24) months. This is the time of year when Oscar hope- around Hollywood for some time. Now that it's Mad City : Dustin Hoffman plays a reporter who fuls come out of the woodwork, all jockeying to finished, it's being kicked around some more. The goes too far for his story (a sad commentary in the impress the Academy members for those crucial executives at Polygram took the film away from light of recent events). After a museum security votes. Well. at least that's the wav it's supDosed to director Robert Altman because they were unhap- guard (John Travolta) is fired, he looses control and go. This year, the fall movie season py with the finished takes some co-workers hostage. When he wants to is packed with so many high pro- product. They then give up the reporter won't let him, in the hopes of file films it'll seem as if the sum- hired their own editor getting a bigger story. We've seen Travolta in this mer never ended. Many avoided to re-cut it, but when part before, in White Man's Burden, and it didn't the summer race, in the hopes of that produced results work then. Hopefully the story is better this time not getting lost amongst the wolf no better than the origi- around. (Nov. 7) pack. Some just couldn't make it in nal, the film was hand- Starship Troopers : This is the one! This much time for the party and took a ed back to Altman to be anticipated, and long-overdue, sci-fi actioner is raincheck on theater space. Others released in its original what movie-goers have been clamoring for all held themselves back because of version. Got that? That year. Ever since the previews began well before the troubled schedules and disap- story's probably better summer season, fans have been waiting for Paul pointing screenings. The following than the movie. Oh Verhoeven's voyage back into space. This is the is a list of what we can look for- yeah, the film's about man who gave us Total Recall, but was also respon- ward to in the months to come. As some lawyer (what a sible for Showgirls. I doubt we'll see any of these thing,alwaysrelease happensdates withare thissubject typeto- of change. Rainn narnU-Turn meets Barbarino:Listen up. OscarI materialsurprise). here. (Oct.Sean, 3) Penntime.gigantic (Nov. bugs 7) lapdance. This is all action, all the TheGame:Michael Douglas andSeanPenn starin isa shoe-in forabest actor nomination, if not forBean :One of*thefu niest men alive, Rowan thisfirst-ratethriller byDavidFincher, the director thisthan forthe just released She's SoLovely. Oliver Atkinson,brings oeof the funniest characters ofSeven. Thestory.concerns afully interactive Stone directsadream cast ofPenn, Nick Nolte, around, Mr.Bean.,frm the television to the big gamegiventoamillionaire onhisbirthday. OnlyBilly BobThornton., JenniferLopez,JonVoight, screen. Thosewho"v een the show are hooked, oblemoris that Whenp.eop~le arereally shooting at Claire Danes'and Powers Booth in thistale ofa and canexpect moreof the same here. Now, the you, where does the fun stop and the terror begin? drifter (Penn) nobody can quite figure out. not so good hearted, (Sept. 12) (Oct. 3) usually silent Bean has L.A. Confidential : Kevin Spacey leads an A-list Seven Years in Tibet : Brad Pitt as moun- to care for some price- cast in this tale of murder set against a 1950's taineer Heinrich Harrer who comes across less art. This has already Hollywood backdrop. Joining the Oscar winner the young Dalai Lama seems like a bit of a been released overseas are Danny DeVito, Kim Bassinger, Russell Crowe, stretch. Pitt is a fine actor, and this film has and is packing the the- and James Cromwell. An intriguing story and top- gotten a lot of good buzz, but I don't see it aters. (Nov. 7) notch talent should push this past the rest, but coming off. I think American audiences The Rainmaker : John -with a story as confusing as they come, it'll take a can only take so much spirituality. Also, Grisham, again. A lot to keep track of the plot. Should satisfy anyone the recently revealed fact that Harrer may young, idealistic lawyer, looking for a little cerebral stimulation with their have been a part of the Nazi party doesn't again. Boring, again. action. (Sept. 19) bode well for the box office. Look for a (Nov. 14) The Peacemaker: The first film to come out of the strong opening from Pitt's fan base, but it's The Jackal: Bruce Willis, Dreamworks SKG stable looks to be a winner, not capable of going the distance. (Oct. 8) Richard Gere, and George Clooney (you remember him, the guy who Playing God : Uavid Duchovny heads to Sidney Poitier star in S A l goes apeshit in Devil's Advocate destroyed the Batman franchise) plays an army the big screen, before his X-Files movie I this almost remake of intelligence officer on the trail of a stolen nuclear does, to play a doctor who's lost his license and 1973's The Day of the Jackcal. Willis is the bad guy warhead. Nicole Kidman is a government expert goes underground to treat the underworld. here, playing head gamesSwith EB.I. agent Poitier. on atomic weapons. The script is by Michael Timothy Hutton is the mobster (huh?) who Enter Gere, an imprisorled I.R.A. terrorist who Schiffer, the, man who penned Crimson Tide. So far, acquires his services. So far, Duchovny looks bored knows the Jackal's moves . The action should stack so good. The problem may be in the director. This through the entire picture, as audiences will be too. up, along with the bocly count, but this also c is a big undertak- Nevertheless, fans of his show will promises an intriguing ;tory. Should do well, if ing for a first timer, make this a sure-fire hit. (Oct. 17) only on sheer star power. (Nov. 14) and we hope that Devil's Advocate : Cross The Firm The Truman Show : If every aspect of your life was Mimi Leder is up with Angel Heart and you get this being filmed and shown to a television audience, to the challenge. thriller starring Al Pacino and live, 24 hours a day, whiat would you do? That's With only a $50 Keanu Reeves. Pacino is the head exactly what happens to Jim Carrey in this come- million budget, of a New York law firm who hap- dy/drama from director Peter Weir. Don't expect this action/adven- pens to also be Satan. Not too far the typical pratfalls and irubber faces from Carrey ture yarn will turn off from a real lawyer, I guess. this time out. He tries to go the serious route here. a tidy profit, but Reeves is the young, idealistic law An interesting idea, bu t it's been done before will it make SKG school grad (is there any other (Albert Brooks' Real Life), and will the funnyman's the powerhouse kind?) who gets seduced by the fans want to see him like this? (Nov. 14) sLUU1Vtldio ev7Prxorney% p1xonwerr of CILL-shall wep ,ya sav the dark Alien : ResurrPction Sigourney's back, even thinks it can be? A Stony Brook student enters his dormitory bathroom side. We've seen it before in vari- though Ripley died in th(e last installment. Thanks (Sept. 26) ous incarnations, and since Reeves shows less to the wonderful world of cloning we get her back The Edge : If you were trapped in the wilderness emotion on screen than Larry "Bud" Melman, this in full glory, with a full head of hair. This time she's with the person you hated most in the world, and one should go down in flames, joined by Winona Ryder as the artificial life-form. could get rid of him without anyone knowing, but (Oct. 19) This one assures us thait it will try to erase the needed him to survive yourself, what would you Gattaca : With all the talk of cloning these days, memory of Alien 3, withi high action and a new do? That's the question that is posed as Anthony this sci-fi treat seems to fit right in. It takes place in alien with powers beyorid those of mortal men. Hopkins is stranded in the frozen tundra with Alec a time when your position in life is determined by (Sorry, that's Superman. But, you get the point.) please see "Fall Movies," on page 20

THE STONY BROOK PRESS PAGE 18 i · -- I -LI ~III 1F- ~ IR~ I ·~ - -- %s.~-e I - --~~C I II I I~C~ ~ ~ -- 1 FEATURES

By Lowell Yaeger oil tankers with the word "CITGO" on them are page flashback to Roland's life as a teenager. jarring reminders that there is somehow a very The momentum crashes to a sudden halt and the Even most non-nerds have some kind of enter- crucial link between our world and Roland's. reader is left with an entirely new story, one with taining, slightly-obsessive focus. For every nerd Anyway, the series reached a head at the end of new characters, new objectives, and new mean- who can name the executive producer of every Star Book 3, where Stephen King deposited his adven- ings. This facet of Roland's past (for only a few Trek episode ever created, there are at least three turers on a super-sonic monorail that wanted to months of time are described) drastically changes normal people who love baseball cards, can cook kill itself... and the passengers unfortunately on the basic theme of the series. Instead of travelling any sort of souffle without the aid of a recipe, board. The only way that his passengers could win through a surreal wasteland of buffalo hunters, and/or find The Learning Channel to be thought- their lives back would be to riddle the monorail. If deserted windmills, and blasted urban moon- provoking and informative. they managed to stump it, it would let them off scapes, the reader finds himself in a sleepy seaside My thing is Stephen King. Ever since I read The before striking its terminating point at over 800 village; instead of confronting obstacles and trou- Tommyknockers in seventh grade, I've been an unre- miles per hour. If they failed to stump it, well, in ble, the reader is forced to deal with page after pentant fan. Weak storylines? Maybe. Characters the words of the train, "don't forget to write." page of mindless drivel detailing the love story difficult to sympathize with? Sometimes. Stephen King, who probably lost more readers between Roland and the already-spoken-for Unadulterated enjoyment? Always. with this stunt than he gained, left those poor bas- Susan. (The tender sexuality of the love scenes is In recent years, the man seemed to have lost some tards on board that train for over half a decade. tempered by the fact that both Roland and Susan of his touch. He was obsessed with spousal abuse And to add insult to injury, much of his work in are 14; I just can't imagine 14-year-olds going at it for a few years (Gerald's Game, Dolores Claiborne, between Dark Tower books has dealt slightly with and think "how wonderful.") Rose Madder), and his other books were either short the ordeal of the gunslingers; the main character of Sent to the village of Hambry as a means of keep- story collections or, frankly, too long for their own Rose Madder travels to Roland's world briefly while ing Roland out of trouble (shortly after he bests his good. The only bright spot in an otherwise dismal Insomnia chronicles the efforts of two senior citi- master, Cort, in a rite-of-passage hand-to-hand array of literature was The Dark Tower series. zens seeking to save a boy who often dreams of the fight), Roland and his friends soon find that the A decades-long work-in-progress, The Dark gunslinger, and their encounters with a supernat- villagers are in cahoots with John Farson, a violent Tower series concerns the adventures of Roland ural creature known as the Crimson King are mir- revolutionary who has been mentioned in previ- the gunslinger and his friends Jake, Susannah, and rored in King's newest release, The Dark Tower IV: ous Dark Tower novels. Along the way, the story Eddie, on their quest to find The Dark Tower, a Wizard & Glass. covers Susan's fights with her aunt/guardian and metaphysical nexus point of all realities and times. The book has been a long time coming, and keep- the tale of a magical glass that can see events in Not surprisingly, the series itself is a Dark Tower to ing in tradition with the previous Dark Tower nov- real-time -- but the catch (and in Stephen King most of King's work: characters that have els, will only be released in a pricy hardcover edi- Land, there always is one) is that it only shows appeared in many of his other books turn up here, tion until Nov. 4, when the regular copy hits the horrible, shameful things, and the woman who and some of them play quite significant roles (not stands. Which means that in addition to making keeps the ball, a ragged witch named Rhea, likes the least of which is Flagg, the half-man half- fans of the series (some of whom have written that just fine. demon that tried to conquer the world in The Stand King threatening to shoot their dog if he doesn't It takes a while for the actual story of Roland's and a medieval kingdom in The Eyes Of The send the next volume out pronto) wait even longer, past to get into full swing, and when it does, it Dragon). In fact, one of King's least inspired works, they have to wait while the answers to many of reveals little about his quest for the Tower or the Insomnia, was saved from utter trash because in the their questions sits in a $45 package on the shelf at things that he encountered in later years. Once course of its central plot, it gave the reader details their local Borders Books & Music. again, King drops fascinating tidbits about the about the Tower and the characters searching for it. Unable to wait the remaining months, I went and gunslinger's world, like the cult of the manni (who The Dark Tower series itself is a fabulously writ- picked up this expensive 800-page nugget of good- can dance between realities with relative ease), ten conglomeration of unlike elements (forgive me ness only to find that my disappointment in King's without giving us any further information, or any for sounding pedantic). Roland's world is a blast- recent progress was to be magnified even further. promise that such information is forthcoming. And ed landscape of deserted villages, empty roads, Don't get me wrong. The book is well written. when the gunslingers finally do return to the pre- and broken-down machinery that seems out of The characters are believable, the reader worries sent day, little is revealed, the climax of the book is place in the land surrounding it (i.e. the occasional for them and at times, you just can't put the fuck- relatively uninteresting, and the resulting denoue- electric oven, a deserted car, etc.). Somehow con- ing thing down. And for the first 100 pages, there's ment is confusing and unexplained. nected to our world through various "doors," the not a single flaw. They defeat the train (as we knew And now we have to wait for Book 5, which, at occasional facet of earthly existence turns up here they would) and reach their next stop on their King's usual pace, won't arrive until the very end and there; drunken barflies sing "Hey Jude" and quest for the Tower, only to be waylaid by a 500+ of the decade (if we're lucky). - I I I ------I-- -- HAVE YOU SEEN THIS SIGN? The Stony Brook Press Sign Last seen on the Great Wall of China Sometime in late 1996.

Previously known locations: San Francisco The Forbidden Palace A bathroom somewhere in Asia

Help bring our sign home! If you have any information regarding the kidnap- ping and subsequent world travels of our sign, PLEASE CALL (5161 632-6451 or mail us at please contact our office. Room 060, Student Union, Sto Broo NY 11794-3200

SEPTEMBER 17, 1ff7 PAGE 19 FEATURES I _ ~LIIL-ILII~ , II~ -I - LI, · "Fall Movies," continuedfrom page 16

Look for long lines at the box office opening week- for every dinosaur movie. (Dec. 19) alogue is here!" A big canceled stamp should go end. (Nov. 26) Titanic :James Cameron spent nearly $200 million across this one. A landlocked Waterworld. (Dec. 25) Fluber : Robin Williams returns to his wacky on this story of the ill-fated luxury liner, making it Mr. Magoo : The National Federation of the Blind wa "sin this remake of Disney's The Absent Minded the most expensive movie in history. (Didn't any- are already protesting this one. They claim that the Pro:essor. When inventor Williams creates the title one learn anything from Waterworld?) Leonardo near-sighted fellow makes fun of them. Let me get conroction he has the ability to fly, and to make DiCaprio and Kate Winslet portray fictional lovers this straight: This is a "cartoon character" who people laugh. This should put him back on track headed for their destiny. Bill Paxton is an oceanog- always comes out fine in the end, usually becom- after Father's Day. (Nov. 26) rapher studying the wreckage and we see the story ing the hero of the whole situation. Oh yeah, I get Scr am 2 : Terror maven Wes Craven is back, along unfold in a series of it now. Boy, what an awful thing for Disney vith the majority of the original cast, for this flashbacks for each arti- to perpetrate, those homosexual loving, sequel to the surprisingly popular comedy/horror fact he finds. The story bigoted bastards. Give me a break, people. film. Expect more of the same, great looking peo- of this ship was dramat- If you don't want to see it, don't. When did ple getting slashed and chased. This will do fine ic enough without the any protest like this do anything but make business from those looking for nothing. But was- addition of people who a film more popular? Here's the scoop. n't the original supposed to be a spoof of all these were never there. Word Leslie Nielson is the bumbling Magoo, and psycho killer films? Too much of a not so good is that it'll be big. I think it's funny. (Dec. 25) thing here. (Dec. 12) it will too, if for hype Jackie Brown : Many people are heavily Sphere : One of Michael Crichton's better novels, only. (But so was anticipating this Quentin Tarantino film, and a film many have been looking forward to. Waterworld. Hello? Is based on the Elmore Leonard novel "Rum Dustin Hoffman and Sharon Stone head a cast that anybody listening). Punch." An A-list cast, including Robert includes Samuel L. Jackson (is he in everything?) Glub, glub. (Dec. 25) DeNiro, Samuel L. Jackson and Bridget and Queen Latifah. Barry Levinson directs this Tomorrow Never Dies : Fonda, could do a lot to give this an air of Pierre'iRr\nan ib hirkL rPs RBlt Tarantino n story of a space ship found at the bottom of the Il .LiC,. %C ,. LJ.I.DI LL .Lt JL IDt A ------.- npctabilitv if oe back go- Bruce prepares to kill his berber2rberAA to his bloody...... ways,. ., look...... for people ... to ....get ocean and the effects it has on the crew sent to for his second investigate. Hopefully audiences won't associate around as the suave super spy. This time a media tired of him real fast. I know I already am. (Dec. 25) this one with the recent disaster Event Horizon, mogul (Jonathan Pryce) is out to start World War Great Expectations : This updated version of the which touched upon a similar subject. (Dec. 12) III. Teri Hatcher joins the fun as the latest Bond Dicken's novel stars Robert DeNiro, Ethan Hawke, Amistad : Steven Spielberg once again goes the girl. A tough opening date makes this one fight for Gweny th Paltrow and Anne Bancroft. The setting serious route for this true tale of a slave revolt. the prize, but look for James to come out fine in the is New York City, modern day, and all but the Matthew McConaughey plays the lawyer looking end. (Dec. 25) basics of the story have been changed. The film to defend the over 50 slaves, while Anthony The Postman : We've always been told that if the makers are trying to capitalize on the success of Hopkins signs on as John Quincy Adams. Coming world ever ended, the mail would still get through. last year's Romeo and Juliet (which wasn't that good right on the heels of The Lost World, this could be Well, this film tries to prove that theory. Kevin anyway) but don't look for it to even come close. another run at Oscar respectability for Spielberg. Costner (yawn) is a stranger in the post-apocalyp- Great Expectations becomes an oddly ironic title. He did release Schindler's List soon after Jurassic tic world who tries to lift people's spirits by deliv- (Dec. 31) Park. Maybe that's his new trend; one history tale ering the mail. "Oh boy, the new J.C. Whitney cat-

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THE STONY BROOK PRESS PAGE 20 ~-sL~~ - ~-P--F-e- ·I~C9P~P~PI III~·L~_~L ~1IP~qdb~-Ll~bT-C~i~L-~IRI~I~W~.~ -- - ~ ~b-Y~·P-~~-.I_~lldBL~-~LL~---~h·~IZ~Y~··911~-~PP~~ FEATURES

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By Guy Cleveland, Amateur Anthropologist * Never come into contact with your subject of to sideburn; the beard extends roughly 4 to 5 inches study. If circumstances force you to meet the person, away from his face and ends in an unruly mess whose As fascinating as it may be, the study of modern discontinue all studying immediately. Regardless of consistency resembles pubic hair. His dark brown anthropology is discouraging to many people. It the jocularity inherent in observing some poor sub- hair is shorn close to his unremarkable skull; the only involves hours of hard work in what are usually cli- cultural freak, this is an experiment that must be done feature on his face that makes an impact is the mouth, mactic extremes; it sometimes involves camping out intelligently and without bias. Additionally, interfer- whose upper lip is permanently lifted to reveal two in nature for weeks on end, and it can be dangerous. ence in the subject's life may change his lifestyle pat- large, yellowed teeth. Attire typically runs to casual What's more, it takes a lot of money, time, and ener- terns, giving you inaccurate observations. (Fossey themes: t-shirts, sweats, the occasional jeans. These t- gy to go on an expedition, and sometimes you don't refused to interrupt the daily patterns of her gorillas shirts rarely bear a slogan. Of note are the sweatpants, turn up a thing. Why bother? Crack open a beer and for similar reasons.) whose elastic band frequently circumscribes a spot turn on the tube. What's on? It doesn't matter. * Never ask questions of direct friends and/or rela- just below the subject's waist, revealing the upper But all that need not be so. I have discovered that tions of the subject. In fact, it would be best if you did- quarter of his excretory valley. anthropology can be done locally, for little to no n't even know them. If you know them well, give up The subject's voice is high-pitched, querulous, and money - and you can do it from the comfort of your now (see above). If you know them as acquaintances, sometimes slightly out of breath - certainly out of bedroom. The trick is to tell the animals and nomadic subtly break contact for the time being. Asking them place with his physical structure. I have not yet spent desert tribes to go fuck themselves, and focus on a questions will evoke biased responses and potential- enough time observing him to discuss his way with person who lives nearby. ly get back to the actual subject. syntax and dialect. Now, I know what you're saying. You're saying, * You can follow the poor fuck around all day and Perhaps the biggest mystery of the subject is his "Guy, the people who live on my hall are average. sit near him at lunch, but do yourself a favor and smell. While up close, he has little more than aver- Besides, they don't want me sneaking around and don't be a freak, okay? No breaking into his or her age body odor, yet his lair emits a dreadful stink studying their private lives." Au contraire mon room, no peering in his window to watch his or her after a period of occupancy approximately one motherfucking frere! Heck, you can't swing a dead sleeping habits. If you see something "private," you week in length. Last year, the smell began one week cat on campus without hitting some kind of freak. can report on it, but don't go looking for it; if your into his occupancy and did not cease until the I'm convinced a good quarter of this society walks subject engages in his or her mating rituals in the hall- Winter break, when he left the premises for the the tightrope of borderline insanity, and that makes way, you can study them, but no running into his or vacation. The smell is almost indescribable; a mix- for some good spectating. As for the privacy issue, her room during a night.of passionate sex. And if you ture of nicotine, body odor, and unwashed clothing this is a moral qualm we need not busy ourselves find yourself keenly observing the manner in which that together becomes something more than the with. Does "Nova" ask the Arctic penguins if they he or she plucks food out from between his or her sum of its parts. I will try to analyze the nature of might send a camera crew along with this year's (God, you equality nuts have made writing clumsy) this smell as my studies progress. Question: is the seasonal spawn? Of course not. Privacy is a thin teeth, it's time to check yourself in somewhere. This is smell related to the 1-3 degree temperature increase sheet of gauze against the mighty onslaught of sci- anthropology, not a late night Shannon Tweed in the ambient environment around his lair? Must entific good. Showtime exclusive. investigate. Now that we've got that out of the way, we can Anyway, that's my subject. I plan to begin studying begin. Choose someone you tend to see on campus a I have chosen as my subject a person I will only refer him in the next issue, in a manner not unlike the lot and begin to study them. What's so strange about to as the Goon. Between 6.5' and 7' in height, the diaries of previous ground-breaking anthropologists. them? Why is it so? Perhaps you can tell from their Goon also weighs enough to be considered "obese." I wish you great success in your studies. Until next actions. It is important to obey certain rules: He has a thick black beard that extends from sideburn time, good watching, and God bless. ------1

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Coming up on Wednesday, October 22... a benefit for WUSB featuring The Water Street Blues Band...!

- - I I-a-`~`-~~-~~"UI~-~-~~~a~~I~~------~-~" I-c~s~ SEPTEMBER 17, 1997 PAGE 21 FEATURES a~lplRlmsaaaa~·es~a~s~ p~s -- ~p-rasl·---p~pssC~-P~%rC _neL~ -~-·L-~La~L-- BC-·--- _ __~-~C IL-~s~ ~sC~OP~d--d-~b~l~LL ------laPeg r

By Ted Swedalla skimpy Pussycat outfit, with the tight tiger-spotted around enough obtuse lyrics in the past, this is too body suit and tails. God, those tails.... cliche for you. What happened to the days of "Feed It's odd, but Tanya Donelly and I have a couple Lovesongs finds her right where you'd think a solo The Tree" with lyrics like 'this little squirrel I used of things in common. One, both of us have moved album by her would be, some kind of combination to be/ slammed her bike down the stairs?' She three times. Of course, her moves are much more of everything she's done: the hell bent experimen- does make up for it by getting us to sing along later publicized, from Throwing Muses to The Breeders tation with 4/4 time in the Muses, the sparse but in the album. I never thought I'd be singing 'I am a to Belly and, now, on her own. Two, we both know sonic stint with the Breeders and the Jackson goat girl' from "Goat Girl." people who have spit on The Press' Executive Pollock-ish singing/writing that made up the The other real disappointment was that there was Editor Dave Ewalt, intentionally or not. The final bones of Belly. nary a good image of her inside the liner notes. thing we have in common is that Dave worships us It's driven by guitars, but her voice, which goes Nothing gets ol' Rumpleforeskin extended like both. Naturally he's very quiet about that. from a hungry growl ("Breathe Around You") to Tanya in a sundress. Lovesongs For Underdogs is Tanya's first real solo lilting impishly ("Acrobat"), is what really carries She must have gone back through an old phone effort. I have followed and the album. "Pretty book she had when she was at 4AD, because the adored her ever since I saw Deep," the album's first album is stocked with alum. David Lovering her waifish form in Throwing track is a perfect exam- (Pixies) and David Narcizo (Throwing Muses) Muses' "Dizzy" video all those ple of this. What you both play drums, producer uber alles Gary Smith years ago. In all that time, initially take as a series (Come On Pilgrim) does a few tracks, and, of from Throwing Muses' stun- of do-do-dos is actually course, it was recorded at Fort Apache. ning angst-ridden debut in Tanya singing the cho- Being around all these familiar people lends itself 1986, through The Breeders' rus. "The Bright Light," to the music. "Landspeed Song" sounds like an old hole-punched sonic wall Pod "Clipped," and Muses song, "Lantern" would fit anywhere on Pod, album, to Belly's King release "Swoon" are all pure and "Bum" she stole off an old Pixies record it. in 1995, she hasn't made one Tonya, If she could Lovesongs For Underdogsis a good album in that it wrong move. She's sort of like have a sound it would doesn't suck, but it doesn't lend itself to greatness Neil Young that way; lots of probably be close to or legendary status, as have some of the other different looks, not much suck. "give me a guitar and albums she's recorded. It's solid, but each song is Considering how many differ- try to figure out what indivisible from the others, like her Belly albums. 1 1• 'I • . . '1, M ent things ne's done, it would- me tucK I m saying. But it's worth more listens that her weak stuff with n't be hard to play Six Degrees Ta on elly.Ahhhhhhh.On the semi-suck side, the Muses. of Neil Young and be able to link most bands to the "Mysteries Of The Unexplained" is her required Maybe it's only time until she breaks through to Godfather of Grunge. poke at the music industry and it just doesn't fly. the big time. Maybe she is our generation's Neil Even the guest appearances she's done are fabu- With the opening lines of "'I heard a song/ I heard Young, except with breasts and nicer eyes. Maybe lous. With Julianna Hatfield, she turns the theme the saddest song on WSUK/ they play it every she will be around for along time. Maybe she will to Josie & The Pussycats, from Saturday Morning other hour of every other day/ cause the greaser finally tell us how to feed the tree. Cartoons, into one ass-kickin' slab o' retro rock. sent them T's and toys for regular airplay/ all your You can almost picture the luscious Tanya in that heroes are whores." Come on, Tanya, you've been ___ -·__----PI~~ I~_ax -· - - C - -·II -C IC·DIIC ~------· i ··- - ~- - - -·I - --- Pimpil Ain't Easy By Debra Luna Patric channeling Axel Rose's spirit. Bugsy was songs were quite repetitive. Pimpcore adorned the piped and ready to kick some ass. With a small stage next. Jay began by dedicating the show to Once upon a time, there were two obviously dif- stage to work with, Bugsy's jumping surface area Bugsy, "...the greatest band Long Island's ever ferent bands, Bugsy and Pimpcore (one punky, one was limited, but they made due with what was seen." Beginning with "Sheneneh," the bassist, funky), but they played together, show after show, given to them. Jay, from Step Lively, joined the Jake, sings "Martin, Hee, Haw!" over and over, as until one day the kids started listening. Bugsy's fol- band on stage and played saxophone for "Another the saxophonist makes horse sounds with his sax. lowing began growing.They were asked to play a Song About a Girl." This song is one of their many They continued funking out on their instruments show at Dejal, in Mineola, with several other local songs where the music is a cross between ska, for over 20 minutes. Pimpcore songs are like epics. Ska/Punk bands. But Pimpcore were playing at punk, and pure rock.Throughout the show the And this song has been turned into many different Dr. Shays, in Lindenhurst, where Bugsy and happily schizophrenic crowd continuously riffs, and solos. But they kept the synergy between Pimpcore have played together several times jumped back and forth, from skanking to moshing. the band the entire time, ending with an orgasmic before. The only difference this night (Sept.. 12th) Soon five or six punks jumped onto the stage to ending, where all the members are going as fast was Bugsy was a full county away. sing along to "The Other Day." Dave, the bassist, and hard as they can naturally go, and boom! It's I trekked to Mineola with Jay, the guitarist of later asked for a sing along, "like we're in kinder- all over. Pimpcore premiered an angry new song Pimpcore, knowing Jay had to be back at Dr. Shays garten. You're really in kindergarten, anyway, called "Princess Di is Dead," with death-metal by 10pm. aren't you?" Insulting the audience isn't the best crunching riffs, and Jay's deep, death-metal like Arriving at Dejal, my eyes were bombarded with way of making new fans, but the kids at Dejal did- voice. Next was the softer, sadder "JonBenet the sight of young Rudeboys and Rudegirls. "All n't care. They sang along to the terribly deep song Ramsey is Dead." "There was a time, when you Ages Show" really means no one over 16 years old. called "Asshole." After a crunching drum solo, were alive, and you looked so good...," Jay sang, Channel 59, a local ska band, was on the stage. Bugsy continued with their last song, "Walking on going on to sing some not-so-nice things about lit- They began with the "Star Wars" theme and went Sunshine," in their punk like way, and tagged on a tle Ms. Ramsey. Later they covered Bugsy's "My straight into their set, which sent the audience bit of "No Sleep 'Til Brooklyn," but finished off Big Helmet." And Bugsy soon showed up at Dr. straight into skanking. Skank, skip, skank. Skank, with a singalong. "I'm walking on sunshine, and Shays, to support Pimpcore. Patric from Bugsy jump, skank. I was watching a cult of teenagers don't it feel good!" Perfect song to end an almost came on stage to sing the chorus to "Another Song giving themselves to this music. Their arms perfect show. The fans were so loyal, giving Bugsy About a Girl," but in that funky Pimpcore way. To were flailing, and their legs were dancing. The the fuel to put on the best show they could. Bugsy end an amazing show, Pimpcore covered "Rocky Rudechildren were having the time of their lives. got off the stage at 10:20pm and Jay and I had to Raccoon," by the Beatles. Jay sang this (once again, Channel 59 were fun and energetic, but the horns get back to Dr. Shays. in his Pimpcore like way) like he was a schizo- got tiring. Soon every song began to sound the We got to Dr. Shays at approximately 10:55pm. It phrenic, tourette ridden, mentally unstable Paul same. was darker, and smokier. Nitefish, who sounded McCartney, twitching and cursing at himself. It Next up for the Rudechildren was some quick, like an old heavy metal band, were just starting. was brilliant! fun punk-rock (with that skaish tinge). Bugsy The vocalist had a style close to Maynard James My night was over, the lights went out, I went to began their energetic set with a cover of Gun's 'n' Keenans of Tool, which didn't suit the band that sleep, worn out from my trek across counties, for Roses "Sweet Child of Mine," with lead vocalist well. The singer seemed uneasy on stage and the the perfect music.

THE STONY BROOK PRESS - PAGE 22 b -~R--~-·BsCl~n~PU~-~Bar~·~-~.BIPr~-lt~-r ~P~I~:~aa~WII~I~·~tj~----·-sllCas~.L~ FEATURES I ------I - I ------~

..~~ i· 46C.:•::::: O .•. be jli~ " . .. c ...... :.-: ii: -;::·~:~r· a: g S1. L - -- - - I - -_ - ______I By John Giuffo, It's difficult and problematic to analyze the dressing habits of the Belligerent Shit-Talker. They have no partic- ular style of dress, but instead represent all races,creeds, Bel ligeren nationalities and income levels. They all have one thing in common however: a lack of that mental screen that says to us all, "Better not say that out loud, I might sound like a self obsessed asshole, or even worse, a Belligerent Shit- Shit-Talkex Talker." Anytime an obvious, dumb, borderline racist, sexist, You didn't ask for it, you didn't want it, but homophobic or ultra patriotic comment is heard in class, you got trouble. All you wanted was to take chances are, it's the Belligerent Shit-Talker pretending to class in Eastern Philosophy or Foundatioj be a smart person. Education, and what you got was a forum for th The following are a select few actual quotes overheard pid to air their views. recently in a number of classes on campus: The Belligerent Shit-Talkers aren't instantly 1 "Can you substantiate these facts? 'Cause I just don't nizable: they don't have a specific look that sets believe them." apart from the education-interested portion ( "Where'd you get your facts from?" class. They can be the girl in the bob-cut next t< "Is this class gonna be all about America-bashing? 'Cause or the forty-something Vietnam vet who wai I fuckin' LOVE America, man!"' expand on the education he received in the "If you can't afford to live in an affluent area and pay What is recognizable--in most cases painfully their taxes, then you don't deserve their educational their love of their own voice. opportunities." Belligerent Shit-Talkers love to hear their own "If they don't like this country, then they should just No, but I mean they LOVE to hear it. Roll call leave." "The metaphysical implications of the epistomology of life Belligerent Shit-Talker will inevitably call out are sometimes beyond the realm of what is believable or SENT," ten decibels louder than everyone even what is not believable in a believable sense, do you Breaking up into groups? Guess who will don know what I mean? I mean, I don't know how to put it, the entire conversation. but you know what I mean." Ostensibly attending college to "broaden" "We were talking about this in one of my other classes, selves, the Belligerent Shit-Talker is instead conc and we were told that the opposite is true, isn't it?" with making themselves feel important by subji "Will this be on the final?" everyone to opinions that were extruded earlier "This is kinda off the subject, but..." day from somewhere in their cavernous asses. "I was under the impression that the actuality of the situa- obvious, banal or completely unintelligible tion is something other than what you say it is, or was, in a real sense of the world, or terms, Belligerent Shit-Talker will be the one to point il depending on how you look at things."

By Keith R. Filaski ing and some guy saying something about "disil- Face put their hearts into. Sometimes I have to wonder whether or not lusion in the here and now." If you think that this 7. Methylated. In the track listing, this song is bands know that they are releasing a crappy will be a good album, boy will you be disillusioned broken up into four parts for absolutely no reason. album. I don't mean to say that they know it from right "here and now". How industrial. And the beat is too chaotic for its the beginning, or go into the studio with the intent 2. Kiss King (High, High, High). A distorted own good. of recording shit, but, there has to be some albums sitar makes for an interesting and new sound, but 8. Aboriginal. Crap, except for a twenty second that half way through one guy turns to the next wait. Where have I heard that drum beat before? long sample bit at the end which is interesting the and says, "This is fucking awful. Oh, well, some- It's the same beat from the track "Asphole" off of first time you listen to it. one will buy it. After all, they liked our last the last album. Why is Atkins repeating himselF? 9. Metal Tangerine. Promising at the beginning, album." Has he run out of ideas? Unfortunately, "Kiss but this track dies from drowning of vocals, except Pig Face's new album, A New High in Low King" lacks Ogre's vocals which made "Asphole" those by Mark Spybey. Had Atkins dropped the (Invisible) must have been an album destined to into a club hit. This track just doesn't compare. rest of the vocals here, he would have had a decent sound like shit from early on. I only wish they had Perhaps if it stood on it's own it might make for a dance track. scrapped it and given up. The band, which was half way decent song. Oh well. 10. First Taken, Third Found. Pig Face goes jun- originally billed as an "industrial super-group" 3. Burundi. The only annoying singer who Atkins gle with an entertainment level rivaling that of (yeah, right), is led by Martin Atkins, and has pro- neglected to recruit for this album was Alannis George of the Jungle. gressively been losing members, energy, and tal- Morissette. Vocals here by Amy Larson and Dana 11. Warzone. A simple little sample song. ent. This progression has increased at an alarming Cochrane range from grunting to whining, and 12. You Know, You Know, You Know. You know rate between its album and the last. make the song pretty damn near unlistenable. Oh, something is wrong when the final track of the Members such as Ogre (Shinny Puppy), Lesley look. Another track with an "Asphole" beat. album continuously repeats, "And you know Ranhine (Ruby), and En Esch (KMFDM) are all 4. Bring Unto Me. The first of two attempts at there's nothing we can do to make it better." Is this absent from High in Low. With them, they have spoken word. This fails miserably. Vocals by Alew an apology? Was this all some private joke which taken everything that made Pig Face's past albums Welz are irritating and who knows what she is Atkins didn't tell us about in the liner notes? listenable. Aside from Genesis P-Orridge talking about. "Bring unto me the stink of piss and This is just a mediocre album at best. But, just (Throbbing Gristle/ Psychic T.V.) and a brief vomit." (??) when you thought it was over, did I mention that appearance by Mark Spybey (Dead Voices on 5. More. More distorted sitar, and the repeated there is a second disc? Over seventy minutes worth Air/Download), there is no mentionable talent line, "Just a little bit more". I'm afraid that it will of two spoken word pieces by Genesis P-Orridge left. Instead, Atkins has assembled a group full of not be enough. where he talks about pretty much nothing, and an members who are either from meager bands or are 6. Nutopia. Okay. So this is a good track. instrumental which, although good, is just too from god-knows-where. Everything comes together on this track, probably long. Alone, this would be a decent purchase, but And now, a song-by-song rundown of the album: by chance, however. This is the second spoken being that it is attached to the first piece of shit, 1. Radio Bagpipe . At the opening we have this track, this time by Meg Lee Chin. Simple key- skip it. beatless little intro, complete with a three minute boards, hard-hitting beat, heavy on the effects, and A New High in Low is mostly low. Low in every- session of bagpipe-like notes, groaning and moan- it holds your interest. This is the only track that Pig thing.

SEPTEMBER 17. 1l97 PAGE 23 THE FINAL WORD PBl~ll~sBBapl~BPB~PI~~ q~

By Lowell Yaeger good things to come. It's been released in a limited In The Streets has served as a veritable who's-who edition, so 23-skidoo and snagv a copy.,I of pigfuck for the last nine years, releasing 7" sin- gles of one off songs by bands that walked the realm between Experimental world and the Kingdom of the Unbearable. In the past, the series has had funny monkeys like Halo Of Flies, The Cows, Tad, Unsane, Helmet, The Jesus Lizard, and Melvins over for dinner, and what they left behind makes for some interesting listening indeed. Every once in a while, they get around to com- piling a few of the latest singles onto CD, creating a neat little mix tape of "unavailable-elsewhere" Man Or Astro-Man? (that eternal indie sales pitch) tracks that serve as Made From Technetium Plug both an introduction to and review of the world of Touch & Go Drum 'N' Bass For Papa Red Hot + Infected. Volumes 8-11 is no exception - nothing/Interscope - despite a move into more indie poppish terrain Man Or Astro-Man? is one of those bands that with the likes of Superchunk, Jawbox, and put out the same album again and again. Nobody Let's face it, techno has hit a rut. The things that Brainiac. really minds, because the music is so damn good sound revolutionary fail to stimulate interest, and High points include Superchunk's "Basement and the idea (techno-ized surfabilly) is so damn the promise of "Firestarter" and "Setting Sun" has- Life", an aggro song by Guzzard that would do original. As a token reward for long-time fans, n't quite unfolded into the sales juggernaut that Tom Hazelmyer proud, a truly bizarre freakout Man Or Astro-Man's increased popularity has the industry had hoped for. courtesy of Brainiac (who I had foolishly written given them more and more resources with which Plug is a perfect example of this. For months, off after an exciting performance opening for The to record, so their sound gets sharper and more industry rags have been screaming about Luke Jesus Lizard), and solid work from Supernova, nuanced with each successive release. Vibert, Wagonchrist, and Plug, all of whom are the Steelpolebathtub, and Servotron. Their newest album, Made From Technetium, is no same thing. I don't know if the style changes from Not everything is peaches and cream, though: a exception. The songs are crisp, clean, and spotless- incarnation to incarnation, but I know Aphex Twin couple of songs, like the I-go-nowhere-and-nei- ly performed; the album opens with the usual found it impressive enough to invite Vibert on tour ther-does-this-song angst of Love 666's "You Sold announcement and/or speaker test. The only real with him in a headlining "battle of the bands" kind Me Out #2" and the been-there-done-that noise of feature that marks this album as a departure from of affair. And Trent Reznor, who until now has only the Boredoms, scream to be skipped over by the their previous work is the increased usage of signed industrial acts to his label (with the exception first note... and yet, combing back to them, they vocals, something that Man Or Astro-Man? should of Meat Beat Manifesto), saw fit to release a double sound better and better with repeated listenings. perhaps stay away from. Their talent lies in their CD by the artist. So there's certainly a lot of hype. Satisfying and stimulating, Dope-Guns-'N-Fucking ability to play fast and good, and more often than Wasted hype. Drum 'N' Bass rarely gets going. In The Streets is the one thing all sampler CDs not their nerdy vocals about junk satellites detract A series of jungle songs with semi-intriguing should be: consistent. from the sound. samples (some culled from what can only be blaxploitation flicks), Plug lacks the near little

hook that all other techno artists seem to employ: .. t.,, a .. . a hard rock edge (Prodigy), a song-like consisten- cy (Underworld), or a hip-hop sensibility (Tricky). Not that the idea of abandoning such affectations isn't exciting. Not at all. The thing is, Plug does nothing to fill those spots, leaving the listener with an empty pocket and the itch to put

a different CD on. the Notion of Cause Of much more interest is the bonus CD that comes with Drum 'N' Bass, which compiles Plug's The Notion Of Cause Squirrel Nut Zippers first three EPs. It begins with a harsh, basic beat, The Notion Of Cause Sold Out! samples of computerized screaming, and a quartet (no label) Mammoth of songs named by number only. "7.44" stays close enough to the song at its core to keep one captivat- I usually don't review demos, but this one war- The first band to say "let's play 1920s hot jazz" ed throughout, while "Military Jazz" is the first rants an exception. The Notion Of Cause, a new and gather together enough interested and talent- example of techno R&B I've ever heard. band from Oceanside, NY, have come out of ed parties to do so, the Squirrel Nut Zippers have Thankfully, the double CD has been specially nowhere with a triptych of demo songs that can be been zapping back to Prohibition land for two priced, so you don't have to get a bite on the ass described with a word I don't often use to describe years now, gaining quite a name for themselves in just to appreciate some of Plug's earlier work. demos: "promising". the process. The only accurate word to describe them would Sold Out!, a holdover for fans while the band is be "aggro", although that doesn't quite make the between LPs, shows a level of stylistic progress that I cut. The Notion Of Cause pay a lot more attention hadn't even expected from the Zippers. The 7-piece to rhythm and groove than most other bands in the seems to be working their way up the river of hot jazz same category; the guitarist, who can clearly play in the space of a fewalbums, acting soft and patient steady riffs with the best of them, spends a lot of on "St. Louis Cemetery Blues" and then busting their time providing pace and only a little injecting chops on the ever-so-slightly-punk "Bedlam melody -- unless he's doing both at the same time, Ballroom". Some of the tracks here are filler, but that's as on the standout track "Makeshift." Even the forgivable in light of the spiced-up live version of "La vocal samples, tossed into "Know" at various Grippe", the Zippers' ode to influenza, and the intervals, match the tempo of the song, as if they archaeological unearthing of thBe original Squirrel ~I~ ~s~~-aTlbwere chosen for that very purpose. Nut Zippers' radio commercial (the band named Artists Of course it's not perfect. The music is a little themselves after a candy). Last but not least is the Dope-Guns-'iN- repetitive at times and the vocals, while powerful hidden track, "Santa Claus Smokes Reefer", which Fucking in The Streets (Volumes 8-11) and heartfelt, are sometimes played so low in the finds the Zippers returning to the tongue-in-cheek Amphetamnine Reptile mix that they sound like an afterthought. But hey, lyricism that made them stars with "Hell". it's a demo. Keep an eye on the record bins at your If not an excellent addition to their already strong Besides being the best named series on the mar- local indie shop in case a single or (better yet) an line-up of albums, Sold Out! is at least a hint of ket, Amphetamine Reptile's Dope-Guns-'N-Fucking album turns up sometime soon.

HE STONY BROOK PRESS i AGE 24