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1987 The olC lege News 1987-4-29 Vol. 8 No. 9 Students of Bryn Mawr College
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For more information, please contact [email protected]. THE COLLEGE NEWS VOLUME VIII Number9 FOUNDED 1914~1^ BRYN MAWR COLLEGE April 29,1987 BMC ranks high Luckily, there are more reliable ways of by Rachel Winston judging an institution. Academic quality "On a scale of one (not very) to five (very) rankings have been published since 1910 please respond to the following statements: and provide an excellent way to get to know l)The girls at my school are mostly here to a school and its strengths. Institutions are get married. 2) Most of the girls at my school often ranked by such factors as "productiv- are ugly. 3) There are a lot of geeks (var.— ity, selectivity, and popularity, if the com- jocks, nerds, homosexuals, Japs—Daddy's pilers of such rankings make it clear they money, you know the type [sic| granolas— regard their criteria as dimensions of aca- outdoor lovers [sic] at my school. 4) Women demic quality," writes U. Penn educator at my school know how to hold their liquor. David Webster. Not surprisingly, Bryn Mawr 5) The wife/husband of my school's presi- consistently posts high scores across the dent is attractive." board, notably in the sciences. These are a few of the disturbing ques- With nearly a third of the undergraduate tions contained in a survey sent to SGA population majoring in a science, Bryn President Mili Cisneros by a couple of enter- Mawr has managed to escape the nation- Lucia Russett, Elisabeth Kushner and Charlotte Taylor wax poetic during last week's prising young men from New Jersey. So wide trend indicating that just seven percent erudite and stimulating bad poetry reading. For more, see p. 4 much for the latest attempt to rank the social of college freshmen intend to pursue a LYNNE BOWERS AHD ELIZABETH SCHUBERT climate of the American college. science-oriented major. In fact, over the last decade U.S. undergraduate science majors have decreased by 33 percent. Students explain financial equilibrium proposal Carol Fuller cites Bryn Mawr in her report, task—a way in which every student can be had read and understood the Proposals. Our Educating America's Scientists, The Role of by Claudia Calloway involved—the Undergraduate Representa- conclusion proved correct: a recently distrib- Research Colleges, as a liberal arts college As May second, the date designated by tives decided upon the course of holding uted questionnaire, though it served to pro- "distinguished by [its] research records and the Trustees as the deadline for the final de- weekly information sessions, open to the en- mote discussion of the Proposals, misrepre- proportions of science graduates." cisions concerning the achievement of tire community. At these meetings students sented in its own simplcity the complexity of Science magazine rates Bryn Mawr as the financial equilibrium rapidly approaches, can both have questions about the Proposals the issues, complexities which cannot be only women's college and one of five liberal the Student Committee on Achieving Finan- answered, and introduce their own pro- resolved with "yes or no" questions. arts colleges included in the ten schools with cial Equilibrium would like to take this op- posals for consideration. These meetings We then charged Undergraduate Major the greatest number of students winning the portunity to elaborate on the Student Re- are held on a weekly basis in order that any Representatives to seek out concerns about highly regarded National Science Founda- sponse to the Proposal for Achieving Financial student decisions can be formulated using the possible effects of the Proposals from tion Fellowships from 1976 to 1983. Equilibrium which was submitted to the Bryn the most currently available information, within their respective departments in order Bryn Mawr ranks first out of fifty colleges Mawr Board of Trustees on April 7th. We and the students who were initially involved to write their own departmental reports. In and universities with the largest percentage thought it a good idea to remind the com- felt that this would be the best course for addition, other students volunteered to of students who go on to get Ph.D.s in the munity exactly what the Student Committee making the formulation of the report a pro- gather information and write reports detail- humanities, according to a study by the involves, what the role of the Undergraduate cess open to every student. The Proposals ing the possible effects that the Proposals Great Lakes Colleges Association. BMC is Representatives to the Bryn Mawr Council were distributed, and mailboxes were stuffed will have on Undergraduate Admissions and the only women's college out of fifty top- entails, and exactly how the report came into with fliers which informed the community of Financial Aid. ranked schools in the number of Ph.D.s being. the formation of the Student Committee on The information collected was invaluably awarded in the sciences, ranks twenty-fifth The Undergraduate Representatives to Achieving Financial Equilibrium, open to all varied and thought-provoking. Several of for Ph.D.s in the life sciences and posts an the Bryn Mawr Council are charged with the undergraduates, which continues to hold the reports from the Major Representatives impressive twentieth in all fields of Ph.D. task of distributing the Proposal for Achiev- meetings on Wednesdays at 9:30 p.m. in the brought out opinions that were in many awards to graduates. ing Financial Equilibrium to the undergrad- Computer Center. ways unique to their individual departments. BMC listed third in the percentage of stu- uate community, then gathering responses We were asked, "Why haven't you distrib- But in writing the Student Response to the dents matriculating at medical school in from the community to take to the meetings uted a questionnaire which deals with the Proposal for Achieving Financial Equilibri- 1980-1982 and has garnered a hundred per- of the Bryn Mawr Council and to the Board concerns created by the proposals?" In dis- um, each opinion was weighed, and we at- cent medical school acceptance rate for the of Trustees. cussing this option, we concluded that a tempted to highlight those concerns which past two years. In the search for an effective, informative questionnaire, however thorough, would not are most often expressed by students at All these statistics play a significant role in and thorough method to accomplish this be truly effective unless every respondent (Continued on page 5) illustrating Bryn Mawr's position as a private "science active" college. Strangely, in spite of all the data available indicating the impor- tance of small research institutions, the fed- Saler receives prestigious Watson fellowship eral government continues to favor the fund- ism and non-Western or non-White femin- ity of the world's women come from Third ing of larger research universities. by Laura Miller ism in New Zealand. According to Saler, dur- World countries... If feminism is to con- According to a recent article in Change Bethel A. Saler, a History major and Cities ing the past 15 years, Western feminist tinue as a movement, it needs to be re- magazine, science-active liberal arts col- minor, has been awarded a Watson Fellow- movements have experienced both inside defined by indigenous women of the Third leges "received, collectively, less than one ship this year. The Thomas J. Watson Foun- and outside criticism. "Ethnic minorities, World." (Continued on page 11) dation initiated the Watson Fellowship Pro- working-class women, women of color, and gram in 1968 to give college graduates a many middle-class women organizing with- post-graduate year of financially backed in- in Western feminist movements have Acquaintance rape seminars held dependent projects. claimed that these movements have... ex- The Foundation looks for dedicated stu- cluded the concerns of non-white, middle- cident rates consistently outweigh the by Sharon Levitch dents who wish to thoroughly explore a self- class women." number of victims, showing that these rape developed and imaginative project. These Saler has chosen to study "a situation in According to "Hidden Rape," a recent experiences are not isolated and many projects are frequently unconventional, which a 'Western' women's movement and a study of college students throughout the women are victims more than once. always unique, and usually involve extensive Third-World' women's movement are in country, 84% of all rapes of college women Accepted norms of behavior for both travel. The projects are non-academic in direct contact." Saler feels that New Zealand are committed by an acquaintance. At the sexes and the victim's unwillingness to ask focus, and, in fact, cannot be executed at a is ideal for her study, because the Maori time of the rape, the women are on average for help perpetuate the existence of acquain- university. (Aboriginal) and Pakeha (European) 18.5 years old and 41% are virgins. How- tance rape in college communities. Part of An applicant for a Watson Fellowship women's groups co-exist in a state of con- ever, only 27 % of acquaintance rape victims the problem lies in unclear notions of what must first submit a proposal to a Bryn Mawr stant interaction. view their particular experience as rape and constitutes rape. committee, which then selects four appli- Saler plans to split her first three months an even smaller number, 5%, reported the Pennsylvania law states that a person cants to nominate to the Watson Founda- between Auckland and Wellington, studying experience to the police. commits rape when he engages in oral, anal, tion. Once awarded the Fellowship, the stu- the most prominent national women's or- Acquaintance rape, sometimes referred or vaginal intercourse with another person dent receives ten thousand dollars to use for ganizations of both Maori and Pakeha move- to as "date rape," is becoming an increasing (spouse included) 1) by forcible compulsion; travel, lodging, equipment, or anything ments. She will spend the next seven problem on college and university cam- 2) by threat of forcible compulsion that needed to actuate their project. There are no months exploring women's organizations puses. The "Hidden Rape" study found the would prevent resistance by a person of rea- obligations attached to the award. The on a local level, which will involve extensive rate of rape to be 14% at private colleges, sonable resolution; 3) when that person is Foundation expects no final tangible evi- travel across New Zealand. She will conclude 17% at major universities, and 7% at unconscious; or 4) when that person is so dence of work, and isn't necessarily inter- the remainder of her visit with personal inter- religiously affiliated institutions. The in- mentally deranged or deficient that the per- ested in a contribution to society. The Foun- views with women of all types of back- cidence rates for a one-year period in a popu- son is incapable of consent. From the "Hid- dation wants the Fellow to benefit personal- grounds. lation of 3,187 college-age women disturb- den Rape" study findings, it is clear that rape ly, leam to take risks, and to perhaps teach Saler's development of this particular pro- ingly high: 353 rapes (207) rapes), 533 at- victims are not applying these criteria to ac- others to do the same. ject stems from a long-standing interest in tempted rapes (323 victims), 837 episodes quaintances. Bethel Saler has been awarded her Wat- the history of women and western feminism. of sexual coercion (366 victims), and 2,024 In an effort to address the problem of ac- son to pursue her interest in the relationship She feels that the broader implications of her experiences of unwanted sexual contact quaintance rape in our community, acquain- between mainstream Western/white femin- study will be important because "The major- (886 victims). These numbers imply that in- (Continued on page 3) PAG E 2 □ THE COLLEGE HEWS April 29,1987
Facing the Real World Summer approaches oh so soon. We're running off to jobs, internships, even (oh, dear!) summer school. For some of us, this is a 3-month hiatus; for others, it's LIFE. These 3 months (or life)are often called The Real World, and are said to be characterized by all our favorite traditional values: cut-throat competition, Traditions upward mobility, the superiority of the masculine. We at the College News say: Hogwash. As we make a space for ourselves outside of the nurturing/torturing en- vironment of Bryn Mawr College, let's all try to remember the positive things we've learned here: the necessity of supporting our sisters; a craving for knowledge, excellence and truth; and a predilection for questioning authority. At Bryn Mawr we've practiced these skills, in classes, in groups, in surviv- ing the P.E. requirement. Out There we must hone them. As we go forth, let us take the essence of Bryn Mawr's motto found writ- ten on the sidewalk behind Rockefeller as our own: Veritatem Feminasque Dilexi; I have loved women and the the truth. Save time for strawberries The end of the semester looms large, and we are getting crazy. The force field that radiates from Taylor Tower has been turned up full blast; people as far away as Ardmore report their loved ones suddenly developing type A personalities. SEPTA is installing special "tension shields" on the Paoli local as a service to its customers. The College News feels that in this explosive environment, we all need to Participants of last year's Mayhole Dance. take a moment to stop and say, "Thanks, BMC, for letting me pay more than $60,000.00 to have a stomach ache" [or "insomnia," "migraine," "caffeine overdose." Seriously, folks, please remember that there is life after finals— Dance to celebrate women and believe it or not, there is life during finals, for those who dare to flirt with Who are those women who dance and run Themselves." The only qualification for the fate. in a circle to funky music on May Day music is that it be exciting, and cele- So everybody, don't go to class on May Day. May Day is one of our best laughing in their colored dresses? They are bratory—and that we can dance to it. traditions; it is the only day of the year that they turn off the field generator people participating in the Mayhole dance, a When the dance begins, the women in the rich, joyous and fun alternative celebration middle dance out and around the circle until in Taylor. Just ask yourself. "In fifty years, which would I remember? May now in its third year. A feminist takeoff on they reach one woman, and release her, un- Day or my chemistry lab write-up?" the Maypole dance, this event is an explora- tying the streamers around her. That woman tion of our ability to create our own symbols then dances around and unties another, who and meanings and to mark with ritual some- in turn frees another until all the women are thing that is important to us, combining unfettered and dancing. Women can free symbols of women's liberation with the May themselves, and the job is not done until ai. Day theme of hope for new life. the women are free. Then everyone crosses The dance begins with a group of women her arms, and joins hands, facing inwards, standing in a circle facing inward, wrapped running in a circle. In one exhilarating move- up in white streamers. This represents the ment, the group uncrosses their arms and treatment of women through history: faces out while still holding hands. This is a separated from each other, bound by rigid celebration of women's ability to experience social orders, restricted in their self- their own community and then face the expression and sexuality. Two women stand world, still connected and strengthened by in the middle, holding hands but facing each other. Finally the group stops and runs out—connected to each other while looking into the center, seizing the Mayhole and hurl- at the world—on a large, brightly dyed cir- ing it into the air, sending showers of confetti cular cloth. This is the Mayhole, its round- down on everybody. And the dance is over. ness symbolic of the organic, of women and The response to the dance has been over- their wholeness. (Clothmaking and dying is whelmingly positive. Women who par- traditionally women's work, so it calls up ticipate in it have said that they really felt a those themes, too.) We've used different sense of exultation, of liberation when they music, the first year, Central African tradi- were unwrapped, and then again when, tional tribal music with a synthesizer back- holding hands, the group turns outwards. CQLLEGE NEWS up, and the second year, Annie Lennox and Audiences, too, have always applauded and Aretha Franklin's "Sisters are doing it for cheered at key points. Angela Johnson Lillian Daniel Susan Brown Editor Editor Associate Editor Box C-405 Box C-615 Box 0595 642-5897 645-5512 645-5728 Editorial Board- Becky Carpenter, Sara Johnson, Katherine Dixon, Charlotte Taylor, Rachel Winston, Laura Miller, Lynne Bowers Editorial Staff: Susan Crutchfield, Farar Elliott Photography: Lynne Bowers, Elizabeth Schubert, Beth Posner Graphics: Marcy Epstein, Laurie Fenlason, Lillian Daniel, Erica Meinhardt, Susan Crutch- field, Rachel Peters
The College News is a Bryn Mawr publication serving the entire College community. People interested in joining the staff should contact one of the editors. Deadline for letters to the editor is Friday preceding publication. The College tiews is published every other week on Wednesdays while classes are in session. STATEMENT OF PURPOSE: The College News seeks to provide a forum for the students, faculty, administration, and staff of Bryn Mawr. While articles on topical subjects will be published, each issue will seek to examine in-depth an issue of relevance to the College community The College tiews welcomes ideas and submissions from all members of the community, as well as from outside groups and individuals whose purpose or functions are con- nected to those of the College. April 29.1987 THE COLLEGE riEWS\3PAGE3 A R T S Busia reading inspires poem
One moment of a broken voice by Amanda Hassner and you swim in our Traditionally, a Mellon Fellow Scholar eyes, gives, at the college or university where he or but do not drown. she has been teaching, a presentation of his In these waters you, or her "works in progress." As a Mellon daughter of Mawu, Fellow who has been teaching her course. Mother, Global Herstory, as a visiting lecturer at Bryn You have given brith Mawr College this year. Professor Abena to women, Busia decided instead to give a reading of creating pink roses her own poetry. for every season. I have been asked to write an article on the The birth through tears reading that Professor Busia gave on April for deaths of 22. As a student of her Global Herstory class, fathers, friends, voices I offer instead my poem. whose only lives are ours The Oracle of Mawu by inheritance. The remembrance of memories Mawu has spoken we have only heard recalled It is amazing but that we will never you said forget as we followed you to a place that Or let from us escape Jazz students perform a routine during last week's Student Dance Concert. Students per- even those who have that teachers are all formed original works, and performances were well-received. been here years exiles LYNNE BOWERS AHD ELIZABETH SCHUBERT did not know existed, The family of the Self It is amazing scattered across how many times we bitter waves of salt, "<=> "^- "^t"
A sampling of bad poetry from the Bad Poetry Reading held on Friday, April 24, 1987.
Franklin Singer "She's a Mo by dint of Fo He's a Fo by dint of. . . oh! Whoops! Didn't mean to drop it. Guess i gotta pull out of town." —Khy Daniels Poet's note: Before you begin to read my poem I would like you to notice that none of the other poems on this page have addressed the lesbian experience and are therefore not worth reading and are bullshit. I do not belieue in the constrictions of form and therefore did not limit this sonnet in any way, euen though my poetry teacher—a man —says they have to be fourteen lines. I wonder if he would haue said that to a heterosexual. When I read this at the poetry reading I hesi- tated to appear before an audience wNch in- cluded men. However, I agreed to recite my work only after the men promised to keep their ringers in their ears, ask their rich fathers to nationalize the means of production and kill themselves within the week. Though I have great reason to distrust these no doubt slimy Pastel jackets are donned in a parody on Miami Vice entitled "The Two Gentlemen of Miami." LYHHEBOWERS. ELIZABETH SCHUBERT fellows, I am basically an optimist and I decid- ed to rely on the integrity of their promise. I ask any man reading this to close his eyes instead Or any large body of water untainted by Only So Many Bullets In The Gun Two Gentleman Of Miami of block his ears. But he can still talk to his dad acid rain and kill himself. Thank you. To give to everyone physically can be fun Prologue And you know who else has a voice But remember, you only have so many Narrator Sonnet of Anger and Woomynhood My female lover bullets in the gun Got a problem with that? If you make love with almost everyone you Twas the winter of our discontent, I am woomyin. Of course you do. meet Made winter by the foul snow Womb-ful, Loving. Like all of my sisters A part of your soul you certainly will deplete which blanketed our fair city, I am like a lake Poet's note: To any man reading this: Stop My advice to you is to save up those Yet made summer by our happy latitude An Ocean now, you slimy dog. You're the reason abor- embraces and filming schedule. Or any large body of water tion must be legalized Clnless you wish to become one of those Twas a grievious time when greed, I am not a man Editor's note: The hews does not necessari- disease cases lust and corruption Hard ly support the views put forth in this poem. But even more importantly save them for Did strut upon our urban stage, fairly Like a brick wall the friend destroying Against which I bang my moon-like head Shit Fuck Who will be with you from now until the this Art Deco realm, Kaa Kaa end this palm-shaded peninsula, I am pissed off today Poo Poo this sockless Elysian Field, —from Life & Love are not Spectator Sports Like a mountain Mucus this pastel Paradise, by Bob Prolman, the poet Which is in turn like a breast Drool this Miami. read by Alice Jane Sillman Which in turn I have two of Well, my lover But then, happily chanced upon our And they are both angry who is perfectly well adjusted and un- misfortune traumatized and does not wish she were Angry at the skyscrapers Two gentlemen of noble countenance, a man because she hates them too, and and costly attire, The trains £nr Art has »T>«ny -fcrms. The rockets is seeing a therapist— Got a problem Who contributed to confound this with that? She doesn't advance of evil. Shit. Fuck. Dick. Mot all did they at first dispatch, Poo Poo. Kaa Kaa. Wee wee. Editor's note: Because of lack of space And 'tis well known the reason I am not afraid to say these words please imagine the stanza before last repeated Some naughty business needs be left here. To fill up their next season. Poet's note: The rest of the poem is sup- Poet s note: more heteropatriarchal bullsNL (Exit) posed to be printed in alternating lines of Braille and Sandskrit to symbolize my support of the I look at my female—you-heard-me— Greenwich Women's Peace Encampment. female But due to the heteropatriarchal bullshit of the Lover's body editorial board, which has neglected to give me And I think of the future a vote in this paper till now, this is not And nuclear war possible. And how I'm so against it. Editor's note: Sorry. —As a much maligned lesbian feminist, I don't feel like putting I have a voice like a mountain my name in your petty-bourgeois Or a moon bullshit publication
< always brought both her bodyguard and her compiled and fabricated boa constrictor to class with her. The body- by Angela Johnson guard lived in the maid's quarters. Bryn Mawr has been described as "a small A freshman in years past was sentenced as college with a big mouth." Here are just a few her Hell Week punishment to ask Miss Lang little tidbits for your finals week amusement: if she had ever kissed Richmond Lattimore. 10 are true, 3'/2 are false, and the rest are The hapless woman popped the question; hearsay; try to identify which are the out- the answer remains unknown. and-out lies. You must hold your shirt button while After Miss Thomas retired from the Presi- walking under the train track into town, or dency, she and her long-time companion you will fail your next language exam. Mary Garrett travelled extensively, and If you hold your top shirt button while everywhere they went, they took a wood and walking under the train tracks, and a train canvas bathtub. One day, Miss Thomas was goes over, you will get a 4.0 on your next performing her ablutions when the ground exam of any sort. beneath the tub began to slip. It rolled right out of her tent, carrying a disrobed Miss In an unprecedented and for many years Thomas out into the open, greatly aston- solitary incident of openmindedness, the ishing all the people nearby. A servant was College admitted a Japanese woman into commanded to drag the tub and Miss one of its earliest graduating classes. She re- Thomas back into the tent while bystanders turned to Japan and founded a women's col- averted their eyes. lege which became the foremost center of ./omen's education in Japan. Cathy Boudin, valedictorian of her class at Bryn Mawr, is currently in jai I for her terrorist If you sit on the Moon Bench with your activities with the underground group The lover under a full moon, you will break up. Weathermen. She raised money for the Katharine Hepburn as Pandora in The Woman In the Moon, May Day, 1928 During his stint as professor here, Wood- group by pilfering various items from stu- row Wilson founded the tradition that only however, the supply had dwindled to such an ignated now to be for pleasure reading only. dents and the College, including the tapes- seniors could walk down the Senior Steps, extent that it had to be built with stone im- tries which used to hang from Erdman. Until 1970, students were required to wear because his office was at the head of the ported from Connecticut. skirts to class and to dinner. Most dorms had An infamous Haverford senior in years steps and he could not concentrate with so When Goodhart was being planned, fund- a box of old skirts sitting outside the dining past took all four of his exams in the final many students talking outside his window: raising efforts were characterized by a lot of hall, which students would grab indiscrim- exam period of the year. (No Bryn Mawr stu- The BMC admissions office asked Brooke student support. Students took on paper inately and put on over their jeans. dent would ever be disorganized enough to Shields not to apply here after she visited routes, peddled candy and sold sanitary allow this to happen, of course.) Two recent Bryn Mawr grads used to because her mother insisted that she be ac- napkins door-to-door to raise money to spend their evenings having sex in the back The statue of Athena in the niche above cepted to every college where she applied. build it yard of the President's house; they made the main entrance to Thomas was modelled Erdman was designed to look like a The money to build Denbigh was donated notches in a post after every encounter, and on Miss Thomas herself. modem version of Dunsinane, Macbeth's by the family of an early graduate who the notches can still be seen and counted. The painting of Miss McPherson hanging castle. drowned while swimming; included in the Miss Thomas is buried in the sarcophagus in Thomas Great Hall is actually of Katherine bequest was the provision that no student Wardens used to be called Mistresses—as in the Cloisters, and her ghost still walks McBride; upon the retirement of Miss ever again be allowed to graduate from the in "Pembroke East's Mistress"—until Rocke- there at night. McBride the features mysteriously re- College without passing a swim test. feller Hall was built. Rockefeller donated the arranged themselves into Miss McPherson's. During the Vietnam war, the president of funds on the stipulation that the title be A Bryn Mawrter who graduated in the late SGA went down to the Philadelphia draft In an ecstasy of oneness with nature, Kath- changed to warden, because he did not want sixties and is now a prominent Trustee once board, slit her arms and hands with a knife arine Hepburn once stood on the roof of anyone to be able to call herself "Rocke- went to an area high school and ran naked and bled all over the draft files. (This one is Pembroke East and allowed herself to be feller's Mistress." through the halls to raise the consciousness true.) buried in the drifting snow of a blizzard. of the students about sexual liberation. When Haffner was built, the College want- A peculiar anonymous benefactor left the During the late 1970s, Thugs on Campus ed it to harmonize with the building across Secret underground tunnels connect all College a large legacy with the provision that responded to a dare made by one of its the street from it—Rockefeller. However, the the buildings on the campus; their entrances broccoli be served in some form every day. members to jump from the second floor to architect got confused and designed it to are known only to the President and the the first floor in the Rockefeller lobby. All the look like Shipley. head librarian. Denbigh once caught fire; the flames were members jumped. Three of them broke put out with the aid of male Haverford stu- Fieldstone is so abundant in this area that A student once died in the Quita Wood- their arms. in the early years of the College, buildings ward room; she had been studying there for (Continuedon page 11) There was once a princess from a small were built with stones that were dug up on days without leaving to eat or sleep, and she Middle Eastern country at Bryn Mawr; she the campus. By the time Rhoads was built, worked herself to death. That is why it is des- Are you a weirdo? by Natasha Gray S^aA^Yvvx l4tt/wA^ When I arrived at Bryn Mawr a short eter- nity ago, weirdo-ism was in a state of deca- Dear Ms. Hank, • Increased intake of nicotine, caffeine, • Try to get at least three hours of sleep dence and decay. All that was left of the days For the past few days I've been feeling very and sugar, often accompanied by per night, although "night" is subject to in- of the bat-robed catholic frigid lesbian edgy and initabte lue read that something terpretation, as is "sleep." • Decrease in eating speed, leading to witches who were said to castrate squirrels in called PMS can cause symptoms like these in • For a break, read some children's or the cloisters at night, was stories. Oh, how women. Could I haue PMS even if I just had meals which may last for two or even three hours young adult novels. Harriet the Spy is excel- sentimental people were about the Order Of my period last week? Does this mean there's lent for this purpose, as are Charlie and the Merion, High Table and SKYE. The would- something wrong with me? • Sudden inability to do laundry, or, alter- Chocolate Factory and The Phantom Toll- be weirdos of those days were reduced to —Worried nately, compulsive sorting and folding of booth. In addition to their escape value, the imitating legendary figures of whom they Dear Worried, laundry rate at which you can get through these had but imperfect knowledge. It was a pitiful Indeed not. In fact, PMS, or Panicked books will reassure you of your ability to business. • Sudden need to stay up late, talk to people Mawrtyr Syndrome, can occur at any point read quickly. These would-be weirdos were not odd in on your hall whom you barely know, and in a woman's menstrual cycle, although it is • Have an affair; then you won't care creative ways. They merely conformed to order pizza more likely to flare up at certain times of about your work. stale stereotypes of what a weirdo should be. year, especially earjly December and late • Equally strong compulsion to organize • If possible, leave school for a week and Asa result they made the young republicans April to mid-May. The latter period is also Youthful College Pranks, such as joke an- go to a tropical island. look like an innovative lot After all, what characterized by the secondary strain (as it nouncement posters, road trips to other I leave you with some final words of en- could be more boring than watching some- were) of Post Mawrtyr Syndrome, whose vic- states, or Bad Poetry Readings. couragement from the Book of M. Carey: one trying to shock you? tims can be distinguished by their habit of Most of us will be afflicted with PMS at "For lo, knoweth we all verily that Done is As these, the hapless daughters of the cringing at the word "future" and wailing some point in our lives. As Prof. Natasha Good, and therefore let us make sport and strange, left the Campus became saner and "What am I gonna do when I graduate," in ad- Gray has pointed out, it is very likely that the be merry while we still haveth time and saner. To be sure the occasional throwback dition to the more universal, "I have so much syndrome predates recorded history, as evi- youth. Nay, have we not seen the papers, appeared, but finding no home, soon left or work to do." denced by the ancient Thesis Folk Dance that are thus finished though their writer metamorphosed into a perfectly charming Some other symptoms of PMS include: (card catalog, card catalog, type, type, doth panic and procrastinate, yea, up unto young lady. You could almost see the • Fetishistic calculating and recalculating PANIC! PANIC!). Thus, we might best cope the last minute. Therefore and thusly be not tension leaving Taylor. of pages-per-day needed to complete one's with PMS by recognizing its inevitability, dour and despairing, for we will typeth that Oh. to be sure you hear ad nauseum about work. If you're not sure whether your exhibt taking steps to come to terms with it, and at- final footnote and there will be great re- what a nutty bunch we are here at old BMC, this symptom, check the margins of your tempting to lead relatively normal lives joicing." but you hear that in your dentist's office too. class notes for notations such as: under the circumstances. Death to the patriarchy, Here is the only true test of weirdo-ism: if 3.75pp/day 5pp/day 15pp/day Some suggestions for alleviating the pain and good luck, people subconsciously back away from you 20/75pp. 15/75pp. 5/75pp. of PMS (either variety): Ms. Hank in enclosed spaces then you are a weirdo. April 29.1987 THE COLLEGE HEWSO PAGE 7 How to get big extensions with ease is that if one is asking for an exstension, By bringing books, you not only by Jessie Washington she/he does not have time to play games, demonstrate effective use of time, But you Fellow students! look nice, or sleep.) also have a useful conversation piece if you Since all written work will be due in two Step 3 : WHAT TO WEAR— In general, need it. You'll also want to bring the follow- days, and finals are coming up soon, I realize Your clothes want to suggest a somber and ing materials, and I'll explain what to do with that many of you might be feeling a lot of introspective tone, so may I suggest that you them in the following steps. SENIORS & History of anxiety about your work, and if you're at all wear one of the following shades: mold JUNIORS: 1 ) jacket, 2 ) back-pack, 3 ) like me, you may experience the need for green, erdman gray, or tofu white. In "Step writing implement or straw; FRESHMAN & BMC Benches "flexiblity with a deadline," better known as 2", I mentioned that you shouldn't wear SOPHMORES: 1) jacket, 2 ) back-pack, 3) an extension. Some of you may find it dif- sweat pants; however, sweat shirts are OK. It styrofoam cup or some paper product. by Sara Johnson ficult to ask for one of these, and it is for this Step 5: WAITING IN THE HALLWAY — might be helpful to find out the "alma mater" Bryn Mawr likes to make a cult of its archi- reason that I have outlined the following The manner in which you wait is key, for it of your respective dean, and wear that par- tecture—the stained-glass halls, the Oxford steps on HOW TO ASK YOUR DEAN FOR sets the tone for the dialogue that will take ticular sweat shirt. (Hint: they all went to Bryn cloisters, the bell towers; some people even AN EXTENSION. place once you're in the office. SENIORS & Mawr.) have a secret fondness for the cinderblock Step 1: MAKING THE APPOINTMENT— JUNIORS, you will want to look semi- "Scottish castle." And, of course, all seniors I In trying to make an appointment, the Step 4 : WHAT TO BRING— It's always together. You should be reading one of the know hold it over my head that they took secretary may tell you that your dean is good to carry a book around with you books from the list and be sure to hold it up their swim test in the swimming pool that '■booked-up" for the next two weeks, but wherever you go, and the Dean's Office is no so that your dean can see the title when she had water pouring into it from the mouth of a don"t be troubled by this. All you have to do exception. Which books you take with you comes out to get you. Also try not to slouch stone lion. But sadly, one aspect of Bryn is threaten to go on a hunger strike until you should vary according to your respective too much or cross your legs, for you don't Mawr's physical essence is consistently ne- can see her. The secretary will usually res- dean. The following are my personal sugges- want to appear impatient. FRESHMEN & glected despite its vital contribution to our pond by giving you an appointment for that tions: SOPHOMORES, you are still in a position to daily lives. The time has come to remember afternoon, or for some time during the very Dean Parker: seek pity from your dean, therefore you Bryn Mawr's benches. next day. should try lying down on one of the benches 101 Ways to Get Better Grades Take, for example, perhaps the most ne- Step 2: WHAT NOT TO WEAR— I would 10 Steps in Writing a Research Paper in a fetal position. (This is highly effective!) glected of these patient structures: the strongly recommend that you DO NOT wear Step 6: ENTERING THE OFFICE — SEN- memorial bench for Elsie Campbell Sinclair any nail polish, make-up, or unnecessary Dean Waitzman: IORS & JUNIORS, you should casually walk Hodge, AB 1897. Unfortunately, since the jewelry. The only exception here would be Anstoties' Peotics into the office and drop your books, which construction of the Computer Center, it does little eyeliner in order to appear as if you The History of Sexuality, Michele Foucault again draws attention to the title. FRESH- overlooks brick wall, but how many classes haven't slept in the past three days. I had MEN & SOPHOMORES, in keeping up the Dean Tidmarsh: have taken advantage of its solid worth one originally felt that sweat pants were a good pathetic look, you should enter in the follow- Our Bodies, Our Selves sunny day, never once pausing to contem- idea, but have since heard of a number of ing manner. Carry your books in one hand, The Collected Poems of Sylvia Plath plate Ms. Hodge's sad fate in a Massacre of failed cases to reap sympathy from deans in and your back-pack and jacket in the other. Christians in China. A sad statement about this particular attire. I'm not sure what it is, Dean Behrend: Be sure your jacket drags along the floor as apathy on campus. but it probably has something to do with the In Search of Excellence you're walking. Over by Erdman, the class of 1897 (a athletic connotation that goes along with How to Make It On Wall Street good year for benches) established a place them (Note: The philosophy behind "Step 2" What Color Is Your Parachute? (Continued on page 11) for the more matrifocally oriented. In a flowering grove, the wombic sundial bench (In Memory of Katrina Ely Tiffany) nostal- gically recalls a pagan era before clocks be- Extra sleep & food make finals week fun came divorced from nature. Then there are the two benches on the little round tower, snilfa. But rearrange them again and add toi on Sunday you'll have already eaten into which one friend swore was a witch's circle by Amy Friedman and you get sin to fail. It's a sin to fail anyone Monday by dinner time. with thirteen steps leading up to it. Actually, reprinted by popular demand.. . because of her finals. Now add a u and sub- What does this achieve aside from the ob- I'm sorry to report, there are only eight. How- Lots of fine things conclude with a party. tract iiot and you get fun also. If you relax, vious reduction of stress and elevation of ever, it is presided over by the Black Lady Like summer camp—remember summer the end of the semester will be fun also. confidence and energy? Why, you get ahead statue who, if you examine her closely, is in camp? It was a big whoop-dee-doo square- Sheer coincidence? Wake up and smell of the game. Way. way ahead of the game, fact missing one breast and might be consid- dance where they served watermelon. Ever the coffee, honey—these are signs from the and since it's not going to happen in your ered an Amazon archetype. It all depends on been to a lecture? As a rule, the sherry and gods. If you can read English you can't pos- work you might as well make it happen else- your perspective. cookies come after the digressions, the sibly ignore anything as obvious as this. where in your life, namely in your stomach. Finally, of course, there is the Moon slides, the questions from the floor. Or how Another thing to remember is the impor- You can be sublimely relaxed and way Bench, which has had a little of the recogni- about fireworks: what's the name of the tance of deep breathing exercises. They are ahead of your stomach. tion that these fine benches deserve. Ac- huge shebang after all the single explo- truly a boon for the kind of overall repose It's been quite an honor to be able to share cording to my sources, the story definitely is sions? The grand finale. And so it is with a finals week demands. Absolutely everybody my finals week expertise with you and, that a couple who sits together on the Moon semester of college—subtract the grand in the entire physical education department although I realize this request will encounter Bench will break up. Nevertheless, even this and add an s and you have it: finals. swears by them. opposition, I don't actually want to be bench is surrounded with a certain mystery: I don't mean to suggest that all of finals I do my deep breathing exercises between thanked for offering such a helpful and prac- no explanation is yet in on the dedication: "I week is one long party. Silly, that would 10 and 12:30 each morning and again be- tical column. No, really, the relaxed look Know Not Where His Islands Lift/ Their leave us all too worn out to enjoy winter tween 4 and 6:30 in the afternoon. I do them on your faces when I encounter you eating Fronded Palms In Air/1 Only Know I Cannot vacation. Nope, finals week is not a whoop- while lying in bed with my eyes closed and Sunday brunch on Thursday afternoon will Drift/ Beyond His Love and Care." It was evi- dee-doo shebang in the conventional sense. with several pillows under my head. indeed be thanks enough. dently ill-omend, at any rate. But undertaken properly it can be a pleasant Sure, it's hard to sustain any exercise for a conclusion to your semester, a felicitous full 2'/2 hours, but remember I've been prac- closure indeed, a swell end to a swell affair. ticing for three years. Novices might want to The first thing to remember about finals start out more slowly and build up. Goddess diner delights wimmin week is that you don't have to go to any Obviously this schedule leaves only one classes. That's because you have enough on exam period available, the one from 7-10 sugar walls" was the oracle's cryptic utter- by Sara Johnson, Elisabeth Kushner, your mind with exams to worry about, and p.m. and that is as it should be. That is as it ance. We derived strength from this expres- Lucia Russett, and Charlotte Taylor, besides, there aren't any classes. This allows should be according to The Three sion of erotic female power. daughters of the Goddess you a considerable amount of free time to Commandments of Collegiate Health and The priestess returned, bearing plates of catch up on your sleeping. Why sleep? Welfare, namely: l)Thou shouldst refrain- In the patriarchal wilds of Northeast Phila- wombic nourishment. We partook thereof, Because, remember gang, more sleep eth from ever takingeth morning classes, delphia, the Goddess Diner shines as a and All was Round. makes us more relaxed for finals week. The 2) Dittoest Friday classes, 3) Dittoest exams beacon of matriarchy and womon-to- We consulted the oracle once more, seek- more relaxed we are, the easier it will be for before 7 p.m. Like any rules, the more you womyn bonding. ing the wisdom of Aretha Franklin. But the us to sit in front of the television set. Why do stick with them the more you come to We were angry. After a harrowing morn- Goddess had a special message for us, and we have to watch TV during finals week? appreciate their intrinsic value, namely dis- ing spent battling oppression, we needed a of her own volition spake thusly: Because finals week is just preliminary train- cipline. Stick with these rules and so un- refuge; the glowing sign of the goddess "Don't give me no lines, and keep your ing for the whole winter break—that's a marred by trauma will you be that people beckoned us. We pulled up in our wimmin- hands to yourself."1 month of TV-watching after you've spent will have the hardest time believing you ever mobile, eager for an encounter with the Eter- And lo, we sat amazed as the sacred mes- three in front of a word processor terminal. even started college, much less finished it nal Mother. sage was twice more repeated. We instantly You want to know what's going to happen to Now, you should not have to worry about We found a quiet, womblike niche, and understood the deeper meaning of these you on December 21st if you don't start where your next meal is coming from dur- settled ourselves into its vinyl curves. A words—that we were to avoid the linear con- training now? You're going to go home and ing finals week because this type of stress priestess of the temple came to attend us, of- structions of the patriarchal tongue and turn on M* A*S*H reruns and see a blinking can distract you from your breathing exer- fering ice water. "Whaddaya want, hon?" she respect the space of all living creatures of the green dot on a field of words instead of cises. What if there were an earthquake said sagely. Goddess. Ferretface's head. And that's very, very bad tomorrow and all four dining halls got swal- "Eggs on rolls," "Pancakes and oranges," Thus en-lightened, empowered and well- for us—I don't believe it's called a terminal lowed up? No, I didn't read your mind—it's "A bagel with cream cheese," we responded. fed, we ventured forth once more into the for nothing. a genuine concern of mine, too. You might That all?" she urged, seeking to impart fray, clutching talismans of fire: Goddess So gang, no sleep during finals week » want to try what I do about this time of year: yet more of the Goddess' bounty. We de- Diner matchbooks. more stress during vacation. start stockpiling meals. clined, but felt warmed by her sisterly con- •Georgia Satellite, "Keep Your Hands to You don't actually have to worry about cern for our well-being. Say it's Saturday afternoon and you've Yourself," 1987. failing any finals because no one can—it's already eaten lunch. So you sneak in an We offered up a round token to the local all preordained. I have proof of this. Take afternoon pizza, which becomes dinner; oracle, and were blessed by the soft strains of 7he Goddess Diner: "Where you eat the best the word finals. (Please.) Rearrange the let- then you eat dinner which becomes Sunday Whitney Houston, Madonna, and Sheena and meet the finest "Located at 7252 Roose- ters and what do they spell? Something like brunch. If you can manage two breakfasts Easton.*"Come spend the night inside my udt Boulevard in Philadelphia. PAGE 8U THE COLLEGE HEWS April 29.1987 The Second Annual Finals Week Crossword Puzzle "immoral" Woman. 181. The lights of Broadway. (without the E). by Marcy Epstein and Laurie Fenlason 122. Do-do. 183. Last flicker of a dying fire. 12. Liberated. ACROSS 124. AIDS imperative. 186. This women's mov't is stereotyped by 13. What breast implants do over time. 125. Radcryffe Hall trademark. sexual abstinence and bra-burnings. 14. Mahal. 1. Jo March was known to be one. 126. Only failure for Bryn Mawr grads. 187. Current National Organization for 16. Agcy. implicated in Challenger 9. As fresh as the morning. 127. After G and M. Women President. disaster. 12. Place for a frustrated guitarist's finger. 128. George Eliot's 7he isL 188. In the New Testament, from whom 17. Single testicle. 15 compulsive. 129. Parliamentary affirmatives. the myrrh and frankincense came. 18. Middle name of co-author's freshman 18. Little known name of moon goddess. 130. I Like : sixties presidential 189. Superlative ending. roommate. 19. Her Sex . . . is Not One. campaign slogan. 191. Sally Field movie about union organ- 20. Sweet potato. 21. Subj. of memo. 132. My male friend in Lyon. izing, Norma 25. Poet Giovanni. 22. Initials of 114 across. 133. The so-called universal term for 192. Sp Agnew. 27. Dull, tasteless, boring. 23. Professor Ros Petchesky has one. As humanity. 194. Initials of 116 down. 29. St. Vincent Millay. does Dale Kinney. 134. Women in the U.S.S.R. are behind 1%. After K and before O. 30. Man o' Madonna. 24. Joan , Slouching Toward one made of iron. 197. Anti-maternal trend in fifties 31. Greek love/friendship. Bethlehem author. 136. Org. against homosexual discrim. in America. 34. 187a leads this grp. 25. Whew, that woman's got " Phila. 198. Initials of lead singer in Fleetwood 36. Yoko. 29. The Sarah Fund. 141." apple a day.. ." Mac. 37. Nutritionally necessary mineral. 32. Boys' hairlines do this as they grow 142. Hebrew first person pronoun. 199. What Martina and Billie whack 38. Popular West Coast clothing brand. older. 143. Composed of specs, and mins. around. 40. Lover of U. Troubridge. 33. Surname of 114 across. 144. Cow chow. 203. Rainer Maria Rilke's Letters ... a 43. First dog of 79a (and A.B.T.) 35. Those guys in the White House. 145. Susan Griffin, "I like think of Young Poet 49. Second dog of 79a (and A.B.T.). 39. Una mujer singer Holly Harriet Tubman." 204. She beat Bobby Riggs. 50. Initials of Mrs. Anderson, Instructor of 41. Ms. Hank sign-off: " to the 146. Patty Hearst's abductors' insignia. 206. Most probably, a whiny child's ex- Physical Education. Patriarchy." 147. Maya Angelou, / Know Why the clamation. 51. Turned his daughter into gold. 42 and Hers: Compulsory Caged 207. Author of Uncle Toms Cabin. 52. What having one's period should real- heterosexual towel ideology. 150. Rich goes into "the Wreck" this way. 209. Feline protagonist in Bom Free. ly be called. 43. Sweet Honey tribute to anti-apartheid 159. Recent resurrection movie role for 210. Helen of Troy's Italian nickname? 53. Barbara Ehrenreich, Hearts of leader, Stephen Glenn Close. 211. The kind of book no active Mawrtyr 44. Diminutive for nipples. 160. Ace. to Joan Kelly, this country is can do without. 54. AFI 46. Mellon fellow Abena Busia's native only 8—9% comp. of "nucl. 212. Fertility drug known to have caused 56. Angst, Bryn Mawr style. country. families." serious birth defects. 57. Comme , comme ca. 48. She ain't heavy, 's my; 161. Influential terrorist org. in Mid. East. 213. Preppie summer footwear (var.). 60. Both a prefix and a suffix. mother. 163. Sexual fun for loners. 63. A dean who advises a BMC student 49. Philadelphia feminist poet Julie 165. Middle name of Martina Navratilova's DOWN to play 3 sports, attend SGA, sit ex-lover: she's "in her day." through plenary, be pre-med and pre- 52. Uterus-like. 166. Writer George. 1. First names of Cagney & Lacey. law and take five courses. 55. Nelson and Winnie ' 167. B.M.C. Dir. of Pub. Info. 2. 88th element. 64. Length times width. 57. A feminist's favorite furry friend, es- 169. Breast of our bovine sisters. 3. Opposite of starter. 66. Native American feminist theater pecially in an apartment. 172. Julie Child's livelihood. 4. Famous Carol Burnett character. group. 58. One of Mary Daly's many names for 173. E. Jane Hedl , Asst. Professor of 5. Toni Bambara. 67. Where Mrs. Ramsay's son wants to Woman. English. 6. Unexpected, opposite, or subversive. go. 59. Devotion to religion or family duties. 174. The height of TV. virility: Magnum 7. One in Munich. 68. A shade tree of the olive family. 61. My Sister this House, by 8. Initials on White House jelly bean jar. 69. Senior phil. maj. who had Cti cartoon Wendy Kesselman. 175. Husband to a Madam. 9. "Fort and "; Freud's game of published in OOB. 62. Dinesen, poet in British 176. More less, usually the less. fetch. 70. Monthly dementia. Africa. 178. Where Eve never had to do laundry. 10. God o' love. 71. Her women live in Brewster Place. (Or 63. Not happy. 180. Mag. Thatcher's domain. 11. Women's Army Reserve anagram Linden Hills.) 65. This home is his castle. 67. P.C. tampons. 71. She's a hot topic for feminist theo- ■ l j s H r I H If n H « 13 It it ik n logians. 72. Middle Eastern feminist, writes about 1* n ao 1 «i *a. the politics of the Veil. pi ■ » ■M 4f at Sri 73. Joyce Davenport of H.S.B. is one. ■•>* 77. Consolation place for infants, among ■ n *«. rt M j Jt » 11 others. 78. Rebel group in Cent. Amer. r* M •M. « 79. Baby Woojums, for Alice B. s 81. 3.1415927, ad infinitum. ■it ■M (0 SI I * B] N si ft 82. Little known first lady. rt | cl 85. "I think that I should never «7 »* "M c» »* ** u> ■ u tt l>1 7» 87. Russ. Orthodox 88. The Wicked Witch of the West's little m ■M n$ it 7* 17 captive. J * 89. Sophomore Nowrojee. FH ■'" 16 V■ to n t1 ■ ffc 90. What women in the street just ti « ■ *i ft shouldn't be. n * 91._h-la-la! I ■ 1 n w n W If « 92. Marx brothers movie: A Day 1 _ IN i»r 1 IH HI 'Ot■ the Races. m*x ■IH 93. "Sisters Doin' it for Them- r" selves.' M /«. 0 1** 11% 94. de deux. ■ WBf HI. «7 IU> IU I IU 1 Hi 95. A serf or slave, in Grecian times. m UJ If 96. Local train and bus company when m lil HI IU Itt nothing is moving. 98. A room with one of these makes for U1 u» m 13*. >*} It* better sights than a novel, or movie. 101. Neither or nor, in Paris. JM «f lit Ut Bit* 1 HI /*» M m 102. Skip Wop and the Humtones. Wr| IH "7 Hi »1 1st. 103. Suffragette Susan. ■ 105. A type of shop where B.M.C. fashion tfl 1(1 HI ■i5?r m itl feminists might re-buy their threads. 106. Envy, without the sharing. IJ1 it* IW IU ■ ft! I** \vt 109. The height of local shopping § IU >»7 TT^B i»1 in •TI m tit pleasure. ■ '?*• P 112. Helen Reddy's hit," a iir t% IT* l»« ni Ifo ,., It* itt in it* UJ Woman." 1 113. Diane Feinstein's home state, abbr. IR M iw m It* w 114. Famous seven volume diary writer. \ sol 115. One of Woman's first contributions to m l1* m «? m Il11 m m 1 |a*> aM B baby-making. VI t* *x * ■art Bf> 1 UJ 116. Joan Armatrading, "Gave it a J >- tt» MM ■■ iix. u — 118. Patriarchal pejorative term for an I April 29.1987 THE COLLEGE HEWSUPAGE9 5ort/-t never P}*stufb*fal 04 a ch &UE.ST3 -Z> 4 oir Trria f you CJU, «Y- Tost- Id- ,h nU f/JOM t*. Jtotf ^^ ever IritfM by A Srukt.iiAu+ii? *■ Jm , wh» ktue , — -—— .] *■ (onei■■i ft. A Bryn Mawr Pantheon C»- CMMSeliM C»vpl« SoapHf- «K»J-j . (Xiai [The following list is taken from the Merion S^t Backsmoker Diary and annotated] Hawk, -tiit -freshly u*vtrted Quui 72. Gubar, Griffin or St. James. 110. Campus hangout for nacho- and 145. Smith College t-shirt slogan: "One 171. A political or ruling system. 73. Popular Bryn Mawr goddess. coffee-lovers. hundred years of women on 175. Songster Bessie. 74. Treasurer Peg. 177. Richards, transsexual tennis 111. pyg or jam 146. E.B. White's 7he Trumpeter of the 75. Japanese soup with tofu. 114. Campus org. for Asian students. pro. 77. -cycles and -sexuals. 116. Affectionate nickname for dean's 179. Shostak biography of IKung woman. 148. She's strangled by Othello. 78. Humorist Leibowitz. office deity. 182 Duskin, Philadelphia's 149. Emily Dickinson: "Much 79. " bless you!" 117. Year to date. boutique. Madness—Divinest Sense." 118. Esther's oppressor. 184. Latin prof, with ebest calves on (feminist post-sneeze exclamation). 153. Well-known singles vacation club. 80. Where the yuppie files her friends. 119. Damsels in distress were often tied to campus. 155. Slang for those who exist to see and 185. Jennifer of Flashdance fame. 81. The boll weevil was one, and so is the these tracks. be seen. 190. Composer Brian, known for bizarre Bryn Mawr beastie. 120. Mili Cisneros's Peruvian home. 156. The part of the body that is often movie themes. 83. Greek muse. 121. Morrison, who wrote 7he Bluest Eye girded. 193. Short name for landmark 1973 84. Alice Walker's In and Trou- 123. Former prime minister of Israel. 126. What usually follows a B.A. (or an 157. Funicello and Kuhn (together again!) Supreme Court abortion ruling. ble. A.B.). 158. Sexual violence against women. 195. Popular South Street cinema. 86. Initials of Haffner co-President. 130. Forty-nine, for Nero. 159. She's That Girl. 197. Gilbert and Gubar: 7he 94. A sudden sharp pain, of hunger or 131. Soviet security agency. 161. Bryn Mawr slang for what's "in." Woman In the Attic. regret. 135. Keats, "Ode on a Grecian " 162. Mary Tyler Moore's boss at the 200. Winken and Blynken's companion. 201. Initials of brother of 79a. 95. Star BMC basketball player Jenny L. 136. Composer of "The Amazon station. 202. Short name for "the little girls' room." 97. Mailrm. Alphabet" 164. BMC's newest dean. 204. Free to You and Me 99. Co-Curr. Head L Stamps home state. 137. Artist Salvador. 166. Spanish affirmative. 205. Ellen Parker, BMC freshman 100. Americana for the female sex. 138. What the princess couldn't sleep on. 168. She searches for Signs of Intelligent dean. 104. Queen goddess, wife of Zeus. 139. Daughter and dad team of Ufe.. . 207. Per_ 106. She birthed 7he Birth Project psychoanalysis. 169. Towel monogram for last year's 208. Sweet Honey Album: AH . . . 107. 30% of BMC students major in this. 140. Sex__, rac , and convocation speaker. Everyone of Us. 108. For what Yin yens. homophob 170. A kind of cheese, like gouda. PAGE 10D THECOLLEGENEWS April 29.1987 Dates Women Make Social code mediation explained Wednesday, 29 April GPA meeting, 9 pm by The Honor Board and details. HAs will get further training (from Chuck Heyduk's HA program) on con- For your information, we want to outline Women's Center Library Collective fidentiality and referrals. Women's Center, 8 pm the roles Dorm Presidents, Hall Advisors, Wardens, and Honor Board members play Then the Dorm Presidents, HAs, War- Amnesty International dens, Customs Teams, and any Honor Board CCC, 8:30 pm with respect to the Social Honor Code, and in particular, mediation. Additionally, we members from each dorm will get together Women's Center Health Collective want to tell you of our current plans for fresh- to discuss their roles and their dorm. We Women's Center, 9 pm woman and transfer Honor Code orienta- hope that this year the Dorm Steering Com- BMC lacrosse plays Philadelphia Textile, 4 pm tion, in hopes of soliciting suggestions. mittees (HAs, Warden, Dorm Presidents, and Honor Board Representatives of each BMC tennis plays Moravian College at home. 3:30 pm Social Honor Code Rules: Mediation dorm—as outlined in the Constitution) will Thursday, 30 April Women's Center Social Collective On April 23, Mili Cisneros (SGA Presi- work together for clarity of their positions, Women's Center, 7:30 pm dent), Chuck Heyduk and Beverly Andrews and for a unified dorm. Friday, 1 May MAY DAY!!! (Student Services), Gina Granelli (Honor Freshwoman Orientation Saturday, 2 Nay Suzanne Vega in concert Board and Customs Committee), Katherine The Honor Code will be a major emphasis Baseball field, Swarthmore College, 2 pm Sherk (former Honor Board Head, and HA for next year), Suzy Sullivan (Customs of Customs Week 1987. In their presenta- May 1 through 3 Theatre Program presents Shanachie by Tara O'Keefe tions to the new students during Customs Goodhart, 7:30 pm Head), Lauren Suraci and Carrie Wofford (Honor Board), and Lisa Weinstein (current Week, we will ask faculty members, deans, Monday, 4 May ICA meeting HA) met to discuss what roles Dorm Presi- SGA officers, hall advisors, and dorm presi- CCC. 10 pm dents, HA's, and Wardens do play and dents to talk about how the honor Code Women's Center Rim Series presents The Official Story should play with respect to mediation and works in regard to their particular roles in the CCC. 9 pm the Honor Code. community. We hope this will give incoming We met because the current roles seem students a sense of how our Code is not Tuesday, 5 May LBSG simply a set of rules that are invoked, or pro- Women's Center, 10 pm fuzzy, resulting in some instances of Wardens mediating that are not in accord- cedures that are followed "when something Wednesday, 6 May Women's Center Library Collective ance with the Code and Constitution. Any goes wrong," but rather an expression of our Women's Center, 8 pm problem between people living together in commitment to the way in which we live with Amnesty International the community is a Social Honor Code issue. each other every day. If the freshwomen and CCC. 8:30 pm Here's what will happen (after training transfers hear as many people as possible over the summer): Because Wardens are not talk about what the Code means to them Women's Center Health Collective personally, they will be less likely to perceive Women's Center, 9 pm part of the peer network of the Social Honor Code, they are involved in mediating dis- the Code as of the exclusive domain of the GPA meeting, 9 pm putes only to the extent of giving advice to Honor Board. Repeated inclusions of the Thursday, 7 May Women's Center Social Collective one of the people involved—if it is sought. Code in discussions of student life may also Women's Center, 7:30 pm They are also one of the official people help to prevent fear and confusion at the Honor Board's presentation by making the Monday, 11 May Women's Center Rim Series TBA roommates can talk to as proof that they are having problems in order to secure a room Code a little more concrete and familiar. ICA meeting change (called "special cases"). However, We will give a general presentation to four CCC. 10 pm Wardens should not mediate undergraduate separate groups of incoming students. This disputes /disagreements. will include a reading and explanation of the Customs Teams, because it is necessary Honor Code itself and an explanation of con- that they maintain good relations with both frontations, mediations, and hearings. The Student objects to sides, are encouraged to not get involved in differences between Bryn Mawr's and Haver- disputes; they are asked not to mediate. ford's honor systems will be discussed as surrogate motherhood Dorm residents often talk with Hall Ad- well. After this general presentation, each visors when they are upset about a dispute member of the Honor Board will meet pri- with someone else in the dorm. Hall Ad- vately with a Customs group to answer their by Rita Jimenez night stands, rape, incest, etc. No one, to my visors may, if asked by one of the disputing questions and concerns at length, and to en- commentary knowledge, has ever disputed the parental parties, help during a confrontation—for courage discussion of the use of the Code, claims of these women and men. I am sure everyone has heard their fill of support of both parties, or so that the parties and of the philosophy upon which the Code the Baby M case. I tried and failed to avoid all A center of contention in the decision is do not kill each other. We call this small "m" is based. This part of the Honor Code orienta- the details of the trial. But now that the first the role of the contract and, of course, the mediation; HAs are part of the support process tion is new. We hope that discussion in a judgment has been passed in favor of the money. The prenatal screening and contract during an extended confrontation. relaxed, intimate setting will be freer and Sterns, and all the anticipation of a verdict is strip women like Mary Whitehead of the If a confrontation does not help the situa- more effective in welcoming new students to over, I've come up with some personal and right to the child they carry. In a country as tion, and one or both of the people wish for a the way our community works. profoundly oriented toward free enterprise mediation (which is not a scary thing—it is rather unpopular ideas about surrogate Brunch In Dorms At Beginning Of Year motherhood. as ours, that alone holds up the Sterns' right simply a confrontation with a facilitator), a as legal parents for many people. This reality Dorm President or Honor Board member On the second Saturday after upperclass- The first and abiding comparison that I returns us to the fact that the Sterns have can serve as an objective third party; Social women return, brunch will be served in the can think of for surrogate motherhood is bought a baby that is only half theirs, and Honor Board members (including Dorm Presi- dorms so that residents can get together and with prostitution. If a "call girl" rents out her that baby-selling is illegal. dents) facilitate capital "M" mediation. talk about how the Social Honor Code is body for a few hours, a surrogate mother working in their dorms, and so that upper- takes that one step further by renting her Some point out that because the mother Dorm Presidents are extensions of the Social Honor Board in the dorms; they are classwomen can meet the new students. Re- uterus for nine months. There are various agreed to give up her baby, it isn't baby- selling. This is not true. It simply means it Social Honor code resource people. action to the brunch that was held after the reactions to this. One is that maternity is a Social Honor Code forum on February 14 gift, and that surrogate mothers are sharing wasn't kidnapping. To support this type of free market motherhood is to undermine the Mediation Training was stronger in some dorms than in others. the greatest gift of all with a barren couple— Honor Board members are, like all of us, not a child. Yet a gift (by any definition I've ever very basis of motherhood and family. It Dorm Presidents, Hall Advisors, Honor Board members, and Wardens will all attend immune from feeling tired and grouchy on heard) is freely given. Babies like reduces it to the fulfillment of contractual obligations, and infants to cherished mer- the Communications Seminar and Media- Saturday mornings; but we think it is impor- Melissa/Sara cost upwards of $20,000 to tant that we all make the effort to talk with "receive." chandise. tion training in the early fall, so that they are all aware of the others' roles and of how those with whom we live. Please participate! The economic side of surrogate mother- Many feminists argue that that is what the family has been about anyway. In exchange mediation will work. Dorm Presidents and We welcome suggestions for or concerns hood is the most unpleasant (and avoided) Hall Advisors will then have a seminar on the about Honor Code Orientation. Pleeise send side since deep down many people like to for economic support and protection, a woman agrees to have children and keep a Honor Code, and (as HAs need to only know suggestions to, or otherwise contact, a think of the money as reward for "altruism" house. But within that older, imperfect and enough to refer people, and serve as sources member of the Honor Board or Customs on the surrogate's part. That is a comfortable changing arrangement there is room for af- of knowledge), Dorm Presidents only will get Committee. rationalization and half-truth. These women further training on Honor Board Procedures know that they make many a couple very fection. Surrogate motherhood is familial capitalism in its coldest, hardest form. There happy—but for a price. The Whitheads are is no room or compassion for women like bankrupt, and in a financial corner. Mary Mary Whitehead who grow to love their Beth Whitehead decided to have a baby and The Department of Mathematics is pleased to announce the appointment of Dr. Jenni- children and change their minds. sell it. This route makes sense. She has all fer D. Key as Emmy Noether Lecturer in 1987-88. the credentials, and it is far more approved The whole idea of the women's move- This appointment is made possible by a fund established in memory of Emmy Noether of than sexual prostitution as it's less defined ment is to move women and men away from for the support of mathematical research by women. The fund was created after Emmy and doesn't involve sex. It certainly seems the narrow definition of woman as sex object Noether s death at Bryn Mawr in 1935, and was augmented by a fund drive in connection more lucrative and safer, as your "pimp" is a and mother as the basis of our emotional with the 100th anniversary of her birth in 1982. At that time an Emmy Noether Lecture- charming and well-meaning lawyer who pro- and economic existence, to families where ship wasannounced, to be awarded periodically to distinguished women mathematicians who will spend a semester at Bryn Mawr. This Lectureship is now being awarded for the vides a contract and screening so you know women and men are on a more liberating exactly where you stand. and equal footing. Surrogate motherhood is first time. an echo of the past (Abraham and Hagar) A native of South Africa, Dr. Key has lived in England since 1963. She took her Ph.D. at The fact that Mary Whitehead's baby is her which has been "perfected" by modern the University of London in 1969, and is now on the mathematics faculty at the University own is indisputable. The attending facts that technology which sees the lucrative and of Birmingham. Her mathematical work is in the area of finite group theory, finite it was not born of a "normal" union, because "felicitious" connection of poor fertile geometry and combinatorics, and in particular design theory and codes from designs. she knew she was to give it up, etc., cannot women and affluent infertile couples. Our She will be in the Department of Mathematics at Bryn Mawr during the Spring erase the fact that Melissa/Sara is half her society must leam that some things cannot semester, 1988. baby. Lots of people have children under ab- be bought and sold, and that maternity and normal circumstances: as a result of one children are two of them. April 29,1987 THECOLLEGE NEWSl 1PAGE 11 ANSWER GRIP Student criticises News article, r /? £ f c _i j n\e \e a * k l^J F T\£\T |„- |/v an praises "pro-life" letter 1 X N N K 1 /) n £ H /v L *k a To the editor: ministrative policy. [sjo Q I t n 0 N NJ c V l<9J/f ' k 3 |T ^ 5 5 L /° The April 6th pro-life/pro choice incident N I /Vlf 4 ff 4 T w ■ e t £ 1 /V o 2 l<3 ■ 1 7B in Pern Arch and The College fieuiss Secondly, some Mawrters seem to have a rj' I '' 1 K o N p a H E wj^ N /) a coverage of it in the April 15th News bring very closed-minded attitude toward free 1 «I7l 4 L A C K u 0 ft 0 mu 0 M a \i 1 ■ All/) /v|/J \S\L ,-i up some important issues which I believe are speech and the right to express opinions that often ignored at Bryn Mawr. First, the News's aren't "liberal." An example is the group of c d T ■S ll 1 cUjo fJ 1 £\r\im ■' 1' 1 ' PI'' article, "Anti -choice organizers leaflet at "frustrated" students who apparently didn't / s A s 4 A| 1 N |s| i 0 ' I / A M|/»M X ■« ■ Pern Arch," is quite a slanted piece of jour- believe that the pro-lifers had a right to stand £ s A 5 1 1 n K 1 A H M t i an L1" 0 nn nalism, even by The College News's stan- on Merion Avenue, until they had called F *- (r £ R T/C u ft £ s r f i N ^ i i- / 1' / N so £ dards. The article, instead of being written by Lower Merion Police and been told that the c IT 0 T 0 s I A H K 5 S B ft 0 ■ " J a r a staff member in an impartial manner, is in pro-lifers were exercising their First Amend- an n a P\A S H e t 0 T 6 f \P V|( -£|u| I X fact written by two women who helped to ment rights. The students' counter respo;nse N n nran A\H T n 0 N / flR T K 0 1 1 5 /I _ ] d 1 o \ 5 \y | organized the counter response. The article (described in part in Rebecca Stellato's letter is almost a verbatim version of a letter they to the Bi-College News), including their ef- * c M r- <' N 1 San U D nci nn ■ wrote to the Bi-College News.Jhe article's fort to get other students to collect as many 4 N A i ■5 ■ flflsllrkiVI H fi it L 0 r AJL / U]6 biased treatment of the incident is par- of the pro-lifers' leaflets as possible and 5 F £" S fU H U ITH M a T t ) « 3 A7|7I IW" c[gJo n ticularly evident in the emphasis on Jean throw them away, is indicative of an in- A / £ B 1 n e n fl /M 1 M ri N c UR r fill Dougherty's actions and letter in the Bi- tolerance on this campus to a free exchange m fi A n L 6 T F 1 ' 1 fl N_ ^ 1 M «■ Bl College NewsM is obvious that Ms. Dough- of ideas and a commitment to everyone's T|O 1 J- 1 H 6 1 rt A 5 « |N 5 |I iv|r|o erty's actions April 6th were purely on the right to peacefully express their opinion. I " U1 u 1 L M n h £ e H L\I \L A { ra R M personal level. The fact that she gave the applaud Rebecca Stellato's letter; it's a M ft K i \e U 5 f L 0 0 N /I Wh s M m A £ Deans Office as her campus address in her perceptive piece on the political atmosphere letter was clearly done to identify her relation at Bryn Mawr. There's an assumption here ■ 5 AN A n rl 1 u U ft £ <( t 0 0 El / N & e / P t to the College and to serve as an address if that every Mawrter subscribes (or should 5|' £" ft g N V A N £ 0 ll e" M 6 E a a m ra someone wanted to contact her on campus. subscribe) to alt liberal, feminist views. This M A 6 / 1 «J £ n nnn n sunN C" 5 ■ 1 1 The article's reminder that Administrative is a false assumption; the community should 5 s N *r(£'|^|M| I |s L L i tf lo| K ; ■ M 0 Mi HI ■ a ► offices "must remain neutral" in such mat- remember that this College is, above all, T o| 6 1 (. , c_ r< £\j\e A N ■ «■sir ol^lfl II IF L 5 A ters is an editorial comment which shows the composed of intelligent, individualist £T |L F N H II ■ ■ MrklltklsHfklp |A 1* k 1 / k sHV writers' pro-choice bias. Few members of women. the community would consider Ms. Dough- Sincerely, erty's actions as representative of official Ad- Helena Quinn '87 Student offers extension advice * S -^'^f- ^> -^> Step 7 : DEAN'S OFFICE DISPOSITION "Dean Tidmarsh, well, you see.. . it's like this. There are so many things going on in Date rape videos shown — First of all, you should begin with small my life right now, and I don't know what to talk. Say something about the weather. A they want "to identify the people interested do. My cat died, and the computer ate my (Continued from page 3) compliment always works well (if you can in issues such as eating disorders, contra- ten-page paper, and I think that I'm going to This year, the Deans office decided to think of one). SENIORS & JUNIORS, try to ception, and sexually transmitted diseases fail the course. If I do then I'll have to change show the videos in small group settings and be articulate and maintain good eye contact. (STDs)." Anyone who would like to work on asked the hall advisors in each dorm to lead This helps to lend credibilty to your "story." It my major, which means I'll have to take four any aspect of peer education should get in English courses per semester until I gradu- the discussions. Two counselors from the is also a good idea to develop a nervous touch with Chuck Heyduk. The first organ- ate. Maybe I should take some time off and Bryn Mawr Infirmary, Dr. Jean-Marie Barch habit. That's why I instructed you to bring a izational meeting for peer education con- and Dede Laveran, led the hall advisors in a writing implement or straw. Be creative with find myself. . ." cerns will be held early next fall. these devices. FRESHMEN & SOPHO- "Dean Waitzman, I've been very busy late- training session in preparation for the ac MORES, never establish direct eye contact ly. This weekend I had to go to the March on quaintance rape seminars in each dorm. Dr. unless your eyes are somewhat tearful. Don't Washington; write a paper for my feminist Barch said that the videotapes were re- lean back and/or cross your legs, for you will political theory class; edit articles for The viewed and issues that would facilitate dis- College praised College Netvs; go to the Women's Center cussion in the dorms were highlighted. The appear to be too confident. Also during the (Continued from page I) course of the conversation, you should be in- Steering Collective meeting; and read The counselors also discussed what kinds of advertently ripping apart the fidget material History of Sexuality. With all of this, I didn't problems should be referred to the Infirmary percent" of all federal funds for science in- (i.e. styrofoam cup oi some paper product,) have time to study for my calculus exam, counseling service. struction facilities and instrumentation. that I instructed you to bring. Make sure that and I'm wondering if perhaps I might be able The Student Life Committee, comprised Federal support from 1978 to 1982 for these the pieces fall to the floor, thus giving you to have an extension until Wednesday, for it's of Dede Laveran, Kay Kerr, Jen Shillingford, institutions declined a staggering twenty- the opportunity to be apologetic, defensive, very important that we be Women support- Chuck Heyduk, Vince DeCerchio, Liza Ber- eight percent, adjusting for inflation. Small- and insecure. ing Women' in a situation like this." nard, and Dean Tidmarsh, is a forum for all er institutions have tried to combat this trend "Dean Behrend, I had three job interviews: staff, faculty, and administration involved in by turning to private foundations for support Step 8 : WHAT TO SAY — This is the one in N.Y.C., one in Baltimore, and the student life concerns. Functioning as a co- toward research and studies. tricky part! If you've been successfully other in Washington, D.C. That was Friday. ordinating committee for the development National Science Foundation director following the previous steps, you shouldn't On Saturday I had to take the MCATs. And I of new programs and services on campus, Erich Block believes the federal government have too much trouble. If you haven't, you spent all day Sunday processing my applica- the Student Life Committee is presently must work to correct this troubling situation still have time to salvage your efforts. What tions for the 27 graduate schools that I'm ap- working on extending the rape education by teaming itself up with other funding to say not only depends on which dean you plying to. seminars. It is also incorporating drug and sources. Notes Block,"... There is no ques- have, but also on your own personal cir- alcohol education under the umbrella of tion of the importance to the nation of strong (Note: Seniors, if you need more time on cumstances. I will provide you with a sample peer education. These programs will most coeducational activities in science and en- your thesis, you might want to tell her that statement for each dean, and then it will be likely be bi-College efforts, and the commit gineering throughout all levels of colleges the books you ordered on inter-library loan up to you to alter it according to what you tee is looking for students interested in peer and universities, including those that princi- from the University of Tibet haven't come in feel is most appropriate. education outreach. Tidmarsh stated that pally offer the baccalaureate degree. . ." yet.) "Dean Parker, I really am ("the admissions mistake. "I I really think that I should transfer. I hope that you have found this informa- My GPA is really bad and I really don't think tion useful; however, if you still don't feel that I'll pass this course. I really think that if I confident in asking for an extension, there Strange BMC rumors spread had just this one extension, I might be able to will be open workshops held during coffee pull it off." hour next week. (Continued from page 6) dents. Presumably the female Bryn Mawr in the College's possession; they sat in the students did not just stand around saying, hallways at Taylor, but they gave the stu- "My hero," either. dents the creeps and so they were removed. THE-S.S &flTRWATH A Merion resident had leprosy. She was And finally, the greatest Bryn Mawr College treating herself by dabbing her wounds with rumor of them all: kerosene in the hopes that no one would find out about the disease. She leaned too close Near the turn of the century the warden in to her lamp, caught fire, and burned to death Pembroke East set up and coordinated a running down the halls. Her ghost still prostitution ring. Clients would come to the haunts the third floor. door and ask to see a particular woman, claiming to be her father. One day the father The same story as above, only the woman of a student came by to see her; when he was not a leper; she caught fire while holding asked for her, he was told "She is already her lantern, and that is why our lanterns have seeing someone; perhaps another girl would closed tops. do?" Vanna White, originally a member of the The same story as above, only set in the class of 1977, dropped out of Bryn Mawr forties. after only two years. The same story as above, only set in the The giant head of a goddess under the sixties. rV library steps is not of Athena, but rather of Juno. There were originally ten such heads PAGE UOTHECOLLEGEHEWS April 29.1987 SPORTS Athletes turn to junk food and strange rituals by Stacey Li Collver cleats. "I always put my right shoe on first, behaviors: going to the bathroom. CS« l.er? Ska'l I then my lefLshoe. Then I tie my right shoe, As far as pre-game preparations go, there In the beginning, Olympic athletes prayed OtWjk*'* In. then my left," Scalia said. 'The right foot is are some great discrepancies among sports to the gods and goddesses to bring them the one that counts," Myers explained. This people. Many athletes rehearse their rou- luck as they started the Games. Though statement could be contested by their assis- tines over and over before competition, but some athletes today also turn to religion, tant coach, Ray Tharan, who always puts on triathlete Polly Stephens prefers to think of after talking to many people involved in his left shoe first. other things. "Once I took my physics book sports now it seems that contemporary Some of these rituals seem to have impor- and studied right beforehand," she said. One athletes have discovered their own personal tant health reasons behind them. Triathlete runner is reported to have done a quick- ways of gathering spiritual power. Ben Trelease said he covers himself with change before every track event she was in, Many athletes have gotten into the nutri- baby powder, explaining, "It prevents chaf- since she was never ready on time. On the tional aspect of sports training. My high ing." A friend of basketball player Jenny Ho other hand, Joanna Perkinson remembers school friend, Margie Olson, for example, in- teased, "Jenny always pulls her socks up, sleeping in her uniform the night before the sisted upon having two tacos before our then down, then up, and folds them over just game when she played high school lacrosse. gymnastics meets every Tuesday, and swim- right. Then she has to adjust the seam per- A lot of athletes, such as field hockey player mer Laura Stamp's high school team was fectly." To this, Jenny countered, "But Dorothy Payne, keep quiet right before the convinced that eating dry jello before the notice I haven't gotten one blister!" match, yet soccer player Tanya Sharon said meet was the key to success. Triathlete Sometimes luck is personified in a stuffed she always talks incessantly as the game Jonathan Burton went to Dunkin Donuts be- animal or doll. Rider Hilary Miskoe recalled, nears. fore his race last Saturday, and after the race "One of our riding team members always No longer limited to divine intervention, commented, "It may become a ritual now!" used to carry a little stuffed pig. Piggy, on Dressing correctly is also of critical impor- today's athletes have clearly found creative horseback during the last round of competi- ways of acquiring good luck. Yet, though tance. Lacrosse player Lizzie Schmidt pre tion." Gymnast Lori Hess was saddened be- pares herself for a game by wearing white many of them have interesting habits and cause her good-luck doll, Timmy, was not al- sunglasses and red lipstick. Triathlete Shan- quirks, many of the people interviewed said Bodytalk non Health has a lucky shirt she wears for lowed to accompany them when the team they do not go through any special rituals. flew to Nationals her sophomore year. 'The Oh, the times, they are a-changin' here at competition, and field hockey player Do these people possess so much positive the Bryn Mawr College Infirmary. Now that Heather Cate always paints her fingernails coach said he would take up too much energy themselves that they do not find it blue on game days. "I usually do polka-dots, room, since he has his own duffel bag," she necessary to pray to the goddesses or carry a Dr. Kerr's first year of inspection, introspec- tion, retrospection, and circumspection is but I like sprinkles, too," she says. Soccer said. rabbit's foot? Do they have so much natural players Mary Scalia and Joanne Myers have forts herself before a race by reminding her- ability that they can forego superstitious be- coming to a close, we are going to be able to move forward. their own special way of putting on their self, "It's only six minutes out of my life," havior? Or do they just rely on the skill they while soccer player Roian said she always have acquired by practice? In the latter case, The most major change is one for which kisses the goalposts before the game if she is they would probably agree with the little we are all slightly saddened. After many playing goalie. BMC athletes Sonya Dutke- piece of paper I received in a fortune cookie years of dedicated and extremely invaluable vitch, Meredith Miller, and Christine Ching last summer, which read, "All this hard work service, Mrs. Joyce Brotherston will be retir- Triathletes stated one of the most common pre-game will soon pay off." ing this Summer from her position as head nurse of the BMC Infirmary. Mrs. Brother- ston has been a unique addition to the Infir- test prowess mary staff for these many years due mainly to her undaunted committment to the im- by Meredith G. Miller portance of nursing as primary care medi- If you were still in bed last Sunday morn- cine at its very roots. Her interests have ing at 9:00, chances are that you missed one always been reflected in her fine treatment of of the most exciting sporting events held at students and colleagues alike. She will be BMC, the Athletic Association's annual Tri- sorely missed, but we all wish her the very athlon. best on some well-deserved leisure. In order to fill the huge void left by the It was a beautiful sunny day, perfect absence of Mrs. Brotherston, the Infirmary weather for the 12 participants from the bi- plans to take on a full-time nurse-practition- college community to test their athletic er, who will be able to fulfill myriad roles in prowess. The field of competitors consisted the health care of our community. As well as of five Mawrters, five Fords, one graduate her clinical duties, the NP will have some ad- student, and one professor. Although there ministrative responsibilities in order to free was a large decrease in the number of par- Dr. Kerr from some of her paperwork. ticipants from last year's 27, the competition was very heated, and many fine perfor- The new staff member would also fill a mances were turned in. new role on our campus: director of Health Education, whereby students will have im- Despite the fact that this year's course was portant health care information constantly a half mile longer than the previous year's, available to them through more formalized Haverford's Jonathan Burton improved his channels than have been previously avail- old time of 1:53.56 in winning the overall able. It is our hope that the NP will work competition with a time of 1:53.01. Also closely with the Women's Center as well as from Haverford, David Derrer was right on the Infirmary Committee in order to set up Burton's heels, finishing second with a these new programs. 1:53.33. Making it a clean sweep for Haver- ford, Leanna Yanabu emerged triumphant Also, next year students will be kept more in the women's competition, coming across informed about who's who in the Infirmary. the finish line behind Derrer with a 1:54.53. Our official Resident-on-Call notice board Bryn Mawr's Shannon Heath finished fourth has been ordered, and should be up and run- overall and second in the women's competi- ning by next semester. tion with a 1:55.42. Sports seasons summarized With the cutting of the Warden program, Besides the award-winning performances, by Stacey Li Collver beat Scranton, 5-4 and other Residential changes, the Infirmary there were many personal bests recorded as LACROSSE—despite hard season and in- Counseling Service will continue full speed The 1986-87 school year has been an ex- well. A consistent competitor over the last dividuals falling down, team stuck together next semester. Current possibilities are in- citing and successful one for BMC athletes. few year BMC's own Professor Marc Ross Also, the annual end-of-the-year Sports do'rm open counseling hours during high Here are some season highlights: swam his fastest 50 laps ever, with a time of Banquet was held last Tuesday. After the stress times and expanded free counseling BADMINTON—went undefeated, 11-0, 26:46. This improvement was due in part to dinner, Athletic Association awards were sessions. Implementation of such programs for the first time since 1956 the recent addition of flip turns to his list of presented, followed by team awards. In addi- awaits administrative approval pending HELD HOCKEY—Fall Break trip to Eng- athletic abilities, according to an inside tion, there were three special awards recog- budgetary decisions. Contact the Commit- source. land nizing exceptional talent and dedication. tee with any questions or comments. VOLLEYBALL—went undefeated in Kanni Wignaraja was presented the Although two competitors dropped out of league and won PAIW league title for the Finally, a few words about these last few the competition during the bike leg of the Delano Award, given to an outstanding weeks. Be ever mindful that no matter how third year in a row senior scholar-athlete. race due to injuries, everyone ended the race SOCCER—had its best season yet, going much work you've got, you will not get it The Yeager Awards, given for outstanding a winner. The prizes for the first four finishers 13-3-3, just missing being in the NCAA done if you get sick, and the way to avoid this were contributed by a local bike shop, and service to BMC Athletics, went to trainer Ted is to get enough sleep, to exercise, and to eat championship Bohammon and junior Donna Carpenter. two lucky raffle winners walked away with GYMNASTICS-hosted Nationals, with right. It may be easier said than done, but The Apple Awards, presented to athletes Athletic Association paraphernalia. Each of Alex Hirsch placing 6th on the balance beam nothing worthwhile is easy. So take breaks, who have shown outstanding dedication and the athletes also received snazzy red T-shirts BASKETBALL—went 11-9. best season sleep, exercise, and change from smoking to as mementos, so keep your eyes peeled for enthusiasm for their sports, went to senior breathing deeply! Happy Spring, and HEY, in five years Lori Hess (gymnastics) and senior Lizzie these super athletes and congratulate them TENNIS—even though they had an in- LETS BE CAREFUL OUT THERE. Schmidt (lacrosse). on a job well done. consistent line-up throughout the season. —The Student Infirmary Committee