Begun in All Army Hospital Papers

ASYOUWERE U. S. ARMY GENERAL HOSPITAL NO. 24

Vol l No. 4. PARKVIEW STATION, PITTSBURGH, PA., SATURDAY, MARCH 8,1919 Five Cents a Copy SURGERY AT HOSPITAL “PORT OF MISSING MEN'' BEGUN REACHES HIGH STATE OF PERFECTION IN ALL ARMY HOSPITAL PAPERS history of the NUMEROUS INQUIRIES PROMPT THIS ACTION SURGICAL SERVICE LOCATE Co. made By Captain E. P. Sibley HELP MEN E. Inquiry by mother, Mrs. The Surgical of MISSING IN GREAT WAR Susan Peterson, 1837 ‘Steadman St., Service General S., Pa. Hospital on N. Pittsburgh, No. 24 began November G. 26th 25, 1918 when the first Under special instructions frfom | Harold Bradley, Inf., Co. major opera- C, last heard of M. 158th tion, an appendectomy, was perform- the office of the Surgeon General, P. Inf., A. OCm a44er Washington, D. C., a column called E. F. October 5, 1918. Inquiry made ieio^ the first of December, by Bradley, 1918, soldier patients received “The Port of Missing Men” is to be Mrs. Geo. 8 Bangor were street, Mt. Washington, Pa. from various hospitals Pittsburgh established in the publication of in hospital James Nelson Bradley, Co. B, 7th and in a couple of weeks we were every army in the United States. The purpose of this column M. G. Bn. Last heard of Oct. 24. In- caring for fifty patients, of some is help and locate quiry made by Mrs. M. Bradley, 334 whom had already received operative to relatives friends work when admitted. missing soldiers from whom they had Pennell street, Chester, Pa. John Cooper, Base Hospital No. On December 20, 1918 con- not heard for some length of time. T. the first column is to be the 6, Bordeau, France. Inquiry made tingent of overseas cases was re- In this printed ceived. Ihere last available information concern- by Mrs. Frank Cooper, Monogahela, were twenty-seven of Pa. these cases and many were severely ing the men who are now missing wounded. Since then and the name of the nearest relative Courson, Hq., Co., 107th F. there have been A.. Inquiry made by Mrs. Cour- admitted weekly or ad- who is making inquiry. Geo. semi-weekly e) ' on wi ’ 5404 Penn avenue ’ Pitts ditional tram loads of patients until The usefulness of such a column f i £

today ..... a total of approximately 825 is self-evident as many letters are p overseas pouring the office of “ASYOU- ilvate FitzGibbons, M. cases have been cared for into made by and of this number WERE” containing inquiries about Joseph A. 875 have been B24 avenue, Pitts- discharged as cured. The Surgical sons and brothers from whom no p OW^|”p Service receives over seven-tenths of news had been received for many buUp, ra._ patients popularity a Gimber, Sl3th F. A. Bat. B. all entering the Hospital. months. The of such T .as. In the main is practically assured. Not Inquiry iac by T. Gimber, 1021 _ the injuries may be column f PiHsburgh. classified as wounds of soft only will relatives scan these columns Moneta N. S,, Pa. the parts or Stimson Goddard, 138th (flesh wounds) and secondly for any information regarding their 9 W. wounds l!’ L beard of Oct. 2, 0 . bone tissue, the extremities being lost loved ones but men in service H; chiefly eagerly U made by Geo. P. God- affected. Something over two- will peruse its contents for tr 4 ”ar<4, 5450crl Vernon avenue, St. thirds of the cases belong to the first news of their missing buddies and Louis, class and the remainder to the second would indeed be very anxious to give class. All wounds any information to relatives who received in battle EXHIBIT OF WAR were in large part infected (over 75 would eagerly welcome it. PAINTINGS per cent). “ASYOUWERE” is printing be- AT CARNEGIE MUSEUM In flesh wounds an infection clears low the first list of names of missing up within a men. the names received relatively short time. In Besides di- A collection of 241 War Paintings immies to the bone substance after a rectly at this hospital many are here fracture llie infection lias resulted in reprinted from “The Come-Back” of and Drawings by British Artists is osteomyelitis, or diseased bone. It is the Walter Reed General Hospital, now on exhibition in the galleries of this latter class of cases that will Washington, D. C., and from “Over the Department of occupy the _ Fine Arts, Car- attention of the surgical The Top” of the Base Hospital at negie Institute. Every phase of war division for the next few months. Camp Zachary Taylor, Kentucky. has been considered—the battlefields, Tboce ceses have all been operated If you know anything of the miss- the training of he; they soldiers, the various ore were sent home from ing men mentioned below tell “AS- branches of service, views in munition France or England and all practically YOUWERE” what you know or in- factories and in shipyards. Not only will need further one-rations for the form the relatives whose names are the fronts in France and Flanders are removal of diseased bone. During herewith printed and you will bring but the the depicted remote battle lines of months that have elapsed since to them news which they will surely Egypt and Palesine. repaint CAPTAIN EDWIN F. SIBLEY of the injuries an or welcome and for which they will Major Sir William immunitv SURGICAL SERVICE Orpen, who has resistance had undoubtedly been' es- CHIEF OF heartily thank you. Let us all help in the largest individual contribution, tablished against this good work in assisting anxious spent the infection and Captain E. F. Sibley, M.C., U.S.A., surgeon the Albany City Hospital, two years at the western front, the result is that at relatives in learning anything of headquarters the cases are usually Surgical was Albany, N. with at Cassel. He has fam-d to be in very good Chief of the Service, Y., and then for a yeiar missing men. given general con- pathologist at the Bender Laboratory us admirable portraits of eition and have without commissioned August 7, 1918 and or- Field exception which was by four years Port of Missing Men Marshal Foch, Marshal Sir stood operative procedure the Rockefeller Institute for followed and well. There dered to as to Ething of Douglas Haig, a dozen other of- is a relatively small assistant Colonel Al- Private Frank S. Roethler, Co. L, ficers lesser class of cases in a course on the treatment of infect- bany, and at the same time was in of fame. He has also which hone 163rd Inf.. A. E. F. Officially re- painted scores substance had been en- He was at the Base Hos- charge of Services the of scenes and events tirely destroyed by gun ed wounds. Surgical at ported missing Oct. 1918. Commun- shot wounds Camp Lee for a short time Albany City Hospital, St. Peter’s in his vigorous, searching manner. and m these cases pital in ications should be addressed to John In entire new bone will be and was to this Hospital and the Childs of the exhibition there are grafted. then ordered Hospital Hospital R. Bowen, Elma, lowa. paintings recording as Chief of the Surgical Service. He Albany. Since 1907 he has prac- no melodramatic Clean surgery, the cure of cases of Sergt. Hawley C. Wilcox, 803 d 'acts of heroism, although many of hernia, organized this service and has brought ticed surgery at Kingston, N. Y., Aero Squadron, A. E. F.; last heard appendicitis, etc , will come in the artists represented fought for it to its present high state of effi- where he is attendant at Kingston from in October, 1918. Inform Dor- and its share of work, although the were wounded. Those in -active ser- coses of this character ciency. Hospital. His success in his work in othy Wilcox, Gaston Apartments, are compara- very high ■ vice were: W. B. Adenye, Alfred tively few in number. Captain Sibley is especially well the Surgical Service and his Louisville, Ky. Jacob qualified the men who have done Bentley, Epstein, John Everett, The new Operating has for his work, having done regard for Sergt. Charles Bernard Long, Com- Pavillion one of the Colin W. Gill, Eric H. Kennington, recently been opened and is equipped nothing but surgery since his gradua- the fighting have made him pany B, 151st Machine Gun Battalion Wyndham Lewis, tion in Medicine 1903. For one officers with the pa- Bernard Meninsky, in an up-to-date manner. It has two in most popular Rainbow Division, reported seriously John Nash, Paul Nash, dean year after graduation was resident tients at the Hospital. : C. R. W. and two pus rooms with an ad- he wounded in November. Inquiry from Nevinson, J. Spencer Pryse, jacent Miss L, 658 South William recovery room and is large Emory McCann, P. Roberts, Henry Rushbury, and E. enough for present or immediate fu- Thirty-fourth street, Louisville, Ky. A. Verpilleux. Muirhead ture needs. Operations are being per- Method of Obtaining Artificial Limbs Corp. Louis E. Plaiss, 305th En- Frank Brangwyn, George Bone! now reported at classifica- Clausen! formed daily, Sundays excepted, bv gineers, C. J. Holmes, Augustus John, Sir men who have had extensive experi- tion camp at Noyers, France. In- John Lavery, Jamesi Mcßey ence work. By Permanently Injured Soldiers form Mrs. Sarah J. Goodbub, 313 and in surgical William Rothenstein were not within The nose and throat, and eye and West First street, New Albany, Ind. service age. ear departments by Scott Battery are cared for For the purpose of informing to the designated to fit Winfield Orondorff, The British Government specialists and men manufacturer E, th, Rainbow last has dis- several hundred cases in the service or those recently dis- the limb. Return transpor- 150 played unusual eclecticism in W’Tl month. artificial November 25. Inquiry select- be treated each charged who have been permanently tation be care of the manufac- heard of from ing records to preserve the glorious In will in Elizabeth 928 North ' addition to its operative work injured in the line of duty and have turer designated. Mrs. Fravel, deeds of 1914-1918. The Government the orthopaedic service takes the pa- Fifth street, Vincennes, Ind. thereby suffered the loss ‘of a limb, second transportation will be did not alone choose the worK of A Harry D. . tients after the wounds are nearly the Director of the War Risk Insur- furnished you when you are directed Private Lane, Provision- men of mature years and establish- al Company last heard ' or quite healed and by massage, elec- ance Bureau authorizes the publica- to report for fitting and instruc- Ambulance, I, ed conservatism but gave young- tricity. hydrotherapy, final from arrival overseas, May the etc., success- tion of the following: tion in the use of the limb. At the on his 16, er and more radical men an oppor- fully brings Inquiry Mrs. . back tone and vigor to After you have been discharged same time you will be directed to re- 1918. from Elizabeth tunity to depict their version of wasted Lane, 916 Twenty-fifth street, De- the muscles from non-use, loosens from the service, having already been port to an officer of the U. S. Public great struggle. The effects of war stiffened jo’nts, restores nerve and fitted with a temporary artifical limb, Health Service or to some Orthopedic troit, Mich. that seem so tremendous to those who circulatory function in part affected. and are ready to procure a permanent Surgeon designated by War Risk Private Sam Sarko, 119th Field- witnessed it well as to the Artillery, Battalion D, last heard of have as those The purpose of the Government is one, apply to the War Risk Insur- Insurance Bureau for the purpose of who have participated in it are get November 5. Inquiry from cer- to its soldiers cured in the short- ance Bureau, addressing a letter as having the limb inspected. On this Miss tain to be modified by future events. est time possible. General Hospital follows: trip return transportation will be in Anna Jacobson, 412 Philip avenue, Art, however, No. is fully prepared Detroit, Mich. remains to keen alive 24 to do its care of the medical officer who makes spirit past. Our know- the entire Scott the of the share and personnal are Chief Medical Advisor, this inspection. Reasonable expenses Corporal W. Harlan, sth ledge of the civilization of Egypt, all energies, Regiment, Supply Company, U. S. lending their oftentimes Bureau of War Risk Insurance, incident to this travel will be paid Babylonia and de- working M. C. E. F. Inquiry C. Chaldea have been beyond regulation hours to Washington, D. C. by the Bureau on presentation of an ; A. from N. Harlan, 5009 rived from the meager records of bas- this end. In your letter state the following itemizezd statement of such expenses. Second aveinue, Bir- reliefs, wall paintings othe» mingham, Ala. and facts: M. W. IRELAND, forms of artistic expression which ADDRESS YOUR MAIL RIGHT Full name and address. Private Hollis M. Pickett, Com- alone have survived the destruction Surgeon General, U. S. Army. pany sth Supply Trans- Former organization. C, Division, of time and F., last war. All at this post Length of time temporary artificial portation, A. E. heard of in enlisted men Following is a list of United September. Inquiry from Mrs. H. J. This exhibition will continue on are urged to have their mail cor- limb has been worn. view through April 3. The reply. States Marine Hospitals nearest this Hollis, 465 avenue. Capital Carnegie rectly addressed, patients stating You will receive a prompt Stewart Institute is open svcry where Hospital: View, Atlanta, free week number ward, detach- If you live in a town or city Ga. day 10 to M, the of their where New York, New York; Bay street Ernest L. Keiber, Headquarters from A. M. 10 P. and ment men stating detach- there is a Marine Hospital, or Sunday 6 their and Marine avenue, Staple. Surg. C. Company, Infantry, A. E. P., re- on from 2 P. M. to P. M. ment. Examples: an office of the United States Public 66th Health Service is located, you may H. Lavinder, in charge. ported missing October 16. Inquiry Sergeant John Smith, Ward 28, Information be New York, Buffalo; Main and from Mrs. Amelia P. Kieber, Wal- 24, apply in person. will EMBLEM U. S. A. General Hospital No. given to you by the officers of the Robie streets. nut, 111. DISCHARGE Parkview Branch, tl. S. Public Health Service by going Ohio, Cleveland; Lakeside avenue Private John M. Supler, A. S. DESIGN CHOSEN Pittsburgh, Pa. to such hospitals or officers. and East Ninth street. Asst. Surg. 2267899, Company L, 364th Infantry, Sergeant John Smith, After making application as above, J. S. Gardiner, in charge. reported wounded. Inquiry from Discharged soldiers who fought in Medical Detachment, for a permanent artificial Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh; Office, Mrs. Wildia Bebout, 607 Main street, the big war are going to be issued an order regular U. S. A. General Hospital 24, limb will be given or sent to you by Penn avenue and Fortieth street. Elm Grove, W. Va. honest-to-goodness “honor- Parkview Branch, the War Risk Insurance Bureau, after Passed Asst. Surg. A. J. Lanza, in Frank Alisaukas, 315 Inf., Co. G, able discharge” medals. The emblem be a Pittsburgh, Pa. it has been settled from the records charge. Camp Meade, Md. Inquiry made by will bronze lapel button, similar it. Philadelphia; 410 John 622 Cypress street, to that of the G. A. R. A design has By following out the above di- that you are entitled to When Pennsylvania, Alisaukas, street. G. Collins, Philadelphia. been seleited from fifteen models sub- rections you will facilitate the de- you receive the order for a limb, you Chestnut Surg. L. charge. John F. Peterson, 317th Eng. | mitted by artists and sculptors. livery of your own mail. will be furnished with transportation in Sgt. ASYOUWERE March 8, 1919

PARKVIEW SOLDIERS PRIVATE JAMES E. LINHART of Swift’s Mission Brigade. GOVERNMENT INSURANCE ARE HEAVY DRINKERS This article was printed in a Pitts- burgh daily on February 13. HOLD ON TO IT Yes, every word of the above-mentioned caption is true! Drinkers, and heavy drinkers at that! And what is more the liquid is sold right here on ARE THEY WORTH IT? the reservation openly, in our own canteen, in sight even of the commanding officer. The editor can bear BOTH testimony to that. One morning last PHONES A Straight Talk to Soldiers, Sailors and Marines by the U. S. Government week he was making the rounds of the contribution boxes taking out of Bell 41-42 Court them the various contributions Are they worth it? to “ASYOUWERE,” when chance P. & A. 449 Main When you went to war you thought they were worth it. brought him at a very auspicious mo- to the contribution box the You willing enough to let the Government have so many dollars ment in were canteen. When he entered and looked your salary sailors, in order to pay each month, taken from as soldiers or upon the counter he could hardly be- for Government insurance on your life, that your folks might be, financially lieve his eyes. Lo and behold, there protected in case of your death. upon the counter in full view of everybody were at least fifteen or Yes, it then. Indeed, so many of you you thought they were worth eighteen empty pint bottles! And Government promised thought that your home folks were worth it that the there in another comer stood a ser- to pay the enormous sum of thirty-eight billion dollars to the folks at home geant, two corporals and 'a “first” if the soldiers, sailors and marines should all be killed. class” private leisurely gurgling away at their pint bottles, well satisfied you to honorable dis- 'But now the war is over and are soon have an with the liquid that was rapidly van- charge. ishing into their inner compartments. There a brass L. they that has lacked, however, rail, ALBERT The question is, do you think are worth it, now peace a running gutter or same spacious ? .corae spitoon, and such other necessary bar £ Do you think that the homes for which you fought are still worth pro- appurtenances. And the editor gazed THIRTEEN UNLUCKY? NAY! tecting by that same life insurance payment every month to the Govern- in amazement, smacked his dry lips NAY! SAYS SOLDIER and felt a rather choking feeling in pADmrn™/ ment, on your life? AT " his throat. Temptation was too A 1 AKKVIIiW a payment made by you to protect the folks with a It is very small strong. BRAHM CO. : good-sized sum in case of your death. - “Gimme a bottle,” he said. Private James E. Linhart, of Co- Are, worth it? “Pint?” they lumbia place, North Side, declares In putting the question to you in this blunt way, the Government in- “Say, I’ve never been elected an honorary member of of : that 13, usually considered a hoodoo, no disrespect. the Knights tends the Bottle. To begin with a pint so greatly respects the you ' has been his lucky number since he The fact is, that the Government sacrifices will do for one drink.” , the army. have made, for the country, and so greatly respects the spirit of those folks A full pint bottle came across the entered who let you go, that it stands ready to continue for five years this same counter. The editor took the top off Upon going into the service Pri- after insurance protection for them (as agreed at the time you signed the appli- and, taking one deep breath, ’ vate Linhart found that the number the, launched most vigorously into the cation) to pay, each month, just about same amount , was his if you will continue contents of the flask. Leisurely he to constant companion. as out your pay for this for life insurance has hitherto been taken of sat on the counter and sucked at the ‘ Here are some of the ways in which purpose. bottle satisfied and contented, when 1 he met up with the fatal 13: Once emphatic. The contract you now have with the Gov- who should come in but the command- eats more, to be officer Captain Stay- His name was placed on the enlist- I ernment may be kept in force for five years after the official termination of ing himself and He off the counter ' roll as James Linhart low of premium you agreed ton. jumped and ment E. —13 the war at substantially the same very rate call the men to attention, tried to [ letters. to pay. but the popular liquid had washed His serial number 12046013—■ But from now on the payment must be made by you directly, and that his voice down and he could do noth- was 13 on tail end and the other fact puts it right up to you, whether or not the folks you fought for are ing but continue his drinking. And the then the C. O. went out and said figures together totaling 13. worth your continued protection. 1 Poultry nothing. He trained at Camp Hancock, Ga.— You know, of course, that you fail in your payments you lose your if Oh, dear reader, by this time you count the letters—there are 13. insurance. are presumably wondering what that He landed overseas May 13—the lit- about the value of the ask liquid was that it be sold And now, if you are in any doubt contract, should tle old number bobbing up with his openly in an army canteen and drunk your officer if you can secure as large a sum of insurance through , France. insurance in the of the commanding arrival in other anything like the cost the Government has provided. presence any channel at officer. It is, indeed, a famous and He was wounded on August 11, but But perhaps you say that you had never thought you could afford so world-renowned liquid. It is as old it was August 13 before he was pick- Produce much life insurance in peace times, and quite likely this would be so under as the human race. It is drunk the i ed up on the battlefield, usual conditions and costs, but the price the Government charges makes all world over. Our people today from i He was sent to Base Hospital No. Maine to Texas, Washington to the difference, and you should consider the question from that standpoint from 'l3. Florida, are clamoring for a reduc- He was placed in cot 13. and—aren’t they worth this larger sum? in price. No army ever for- tion its ’ He arrived at Military Hospital The Government believes they are, and that is why it earnestly urges bade its consumption!; no church ever No. 24, Parkview, January 13. you accept the co-operation of Uncle Sam in keeping up your banned it; no party ever decried it. to continue to ’ With 13 It will be drunk even after prohibi- confronting him at all Butter contract for the protection of the home folks. regular • times, Private Linhart still considers question— tion is in force. It is pure, But now, let us ask another cow milk. that he is lucky, and he is not a bit superstitious. , When asked whether he considered ARE YOU WORTH IT? Ist CLASS PVT HARRY BROWN the number unlucky, he replied: “It has certainly been lucky for Yes, you yourself? The Government thinks you are, thinks so so me, I’m here, ain’t I? that’s luck Eggs much that is ready to stay in the life insurance business to for and Uncle Sam enough any splendidly served him in day of his peril. for fellow.” serve you, because you so the Private Linhart was born in Pitts- business so that at any within He will stay in the life insurance time burgh 22 years ago. He attended war may have a the five years after the close of the you chance to make the First ward public school and a permanent contract with him for a life insurance policy that will protect later night classes at the high school. your home folks whenever you die and protect you—yes, you—by ordinary He was enrolled at the Carnegie life insurance, twenty-payment life, twenty-year endowment, endowment Technical school for a short time. At Cheese maturing at age 62, or some other usual form of insurance. And, mind the time he entered the service, which you, you can get this permanent protection from Uncle Sam at a rate that was at the declaration of war, he will be impossible elsewhere, and that, too, without a physical examination. was employed by the Carnegie Steel Company. Your present insurance, as well as the insurance which will be offered After enlisting, he was :-rst sen., you against and permanent disability. later, is insurance both death total with the old Eighteenth to Ridgway, proposition: So now, here is the Pa. Later he was brought back to under present at First—Continued Government insurance the contract, the Schenley Oval and was then sent substantially the present cheap rate for five years. to Camp Hancock, Ga. He took part Second—Permanent Government life insurance, which you can get any in the drive at Hill 204. After that time during five years at Govenrment rates, provided you hold on to Uncle battle his company was sent to 315 Market St. Sam’s insurance now. Chateau-Thierry as a part of the re-

— latter So, you see, it comes back again to the, question—Are they worth it serve force. Leaving the place the people for whom you insured when the war broke out? they went to Fismes and then to Pittsburgh, Pa. THE BUFFALO DIVISION Fismette, where the regiment enter- And again—Are you worth it? ed the battle will go in If you out of the war physically impaired you will be unable to which down come history as .one of the most costly of obtain any protection you keep up your By Pvt. Ist Class Harry Brown life insurance whatsoever, unless the war in men from Pittsburgh. Sam’s insur- The Buffalo Division landed in present insurance with the United States Government. Uncle France in June, 1918. Boon the 92nd “Germans and Americans were in ance may be continued and converted into standard Government policies, Division was thoroughly organized the city and it was suicide for any- highest regardless of your physical condition. This factor is of the very with 700 Negro Officers. We took one to try to go anywhere while the importance. over the Marbache Sector where the battle lasted,” he said. “If we wanted Buffalo Division saw its first action Carnegie But leaving your physical condition out of consideration, it is to your to go anywhere we had to tunnel our Institute in trench raids on the Germans and and the of for the and for the way and so got from one house to interest to interest your family, both present earned the name of the “Black Department future, to keep up your Government insurance. Devils.” A German Sergeant from another. It was while I was tunnel- of that a Before you leave the service, discuss this matter with your commanding New York whom we took as prisoner ing my way between houses shell exploded, a piece of shrapnel Fine Arts officer and with the insurance officer at your place of duty. He will tell you gave our Division that name. On we the taking away part of my left foot and just to keep up your insurance, how to pay your premiums after you these raids drove Ger- how mans north beyond the Erehant and wounding me in the right foot, right you to change into the standard War Painting’s and Draw- leave the service, and how will later be able Voiorotte to Chemenot Bridge. In leg and right shoulder.” forms of Government insurance. hoping to put a check to the attacks Before he entered the army Pri- ing’s by British Artists com- bridge When you are home you can discuss these things with the Local Home the Boches tried to destroy the vate Linhart lived with his brother, and flood the country. Up to missioned by the British Service Section of the American Red Cross, or you can write to the Bureau this time M. Linhart, and a Division had never been B. was member of War Risk Section, Treasury Department, the Buffalo Insurance, attention Insurance in battle. Their chance came in the Government. Washington, D. C. drive on Metz. They were notified at MAIN OFFICE AND WORKS If you want to get information on Uncle Sam’s Insurance personally, four o’clock on Sunday morning, Nov- it Corner Bryant, St. Clair and Mellon Forceful Portraits of ;.sk the man with the W. R. I. pin. He will have the latest facts from ember 10th. Their motto was, “See Streets. Washington. through. Buffaloes.” They began and Haig—24l seven o’clock from CITY OFFICE Foch Pic- pro- their advance at Remember, Uncle Sam went into the insurance business for your Pont-A-Mousson and before (them 631 Penn Avenue. tures showing various tection and for your benefit, and he will stay in the insurance business for was a valley commanded by heavy BAST END OFFICE S. Highland Ave. and Baum Blvd. you, giving you the cheapest, strongest, and safest insurance possible. guns and nests of German machine phases of the War. If you wish to avail yourself of the protection, if you wish to obtain guns. During this battle we aided in capturing 600 prisoners, 15 & for yourself and your family the full benefits by a grateful Republic to its machine OSWALD WERNER SONS CO. guns, 20 minenwerfers; rounded up fighting forces, then an enormous number of engineers Pittsburgh’s Oldest and Largest March? Aprils and large supplies of artillery muni- Dyeing and Cleanihg Works Hold on to Uncle Sam’s Insurance tions. And this is where Pvt. Ist Class TELEPHONES But, after all, don’t forget that the fundamental question is— Harry Brown was wounded, shot once 6400 Hiland, Bell 555 East, P. & A. FREE in the arm and shoulder by machine PITTSBURGH, PA. Are They Worth It? guns. March 8, 1919 ASYOUWERE

“STAY IN HOSPITALS,” PLEA in character. This curative work is Soldiers’ Service Chevron Pin. OF ARMY TO THE WOUNDED applied primarily to hasten physical and functional restoration. At the By Col Frank C. Billings, M. C., U. same time it trains the soldier to be A., Director, Division of a better workman at his old job or V 3 I hysicial Reconstruction starts the training for a new one if V he has a disability which unfits him V 3 for the old occupation. The partial . Now that has been the armistice vocational training which he receives and there is every evidence hat in the hospital will be continued by peace will be declared within a You are proud of your Service Chev- ew 'the Federal Board of Vocational Edu- months, there is a manifest de- rons, but after you take off your uniform sire cation after his discharge from the on the part of the sol- you been in the service? disabled army and will be without cost to him. who knows have diers for early discharge from the Tltese pins are designed to make that army. It must be apparent to any thinking This sentiment of the soldiers distinction. To be worn on civilian is that the encouraged by the individual disabled soldier clothes, lapel or vest, same as a relatives and who desires training by the Federal coat inends by many other people, who fraternity pin. Cuts show exact size Board to fit him for a new job must apparently have not fully considered Beautifully designed and well made of st receive as complete medical and_ sur- sterling interests of the disabled men. gical gold, for overseas service, and *Tn?^■‘■his treatment as possible before his country. Will ~ unfortunate state of mind of for service in this discharge from the army, for silver soldiers, their friends and of the other- years. Will be mailed upon wise he will not be physically fit for wear for bU rnus t he overcome if the sick receipt of One Dollar. Give name and |i j- the training. and disabled men of the army and address, number of chevrons you are gold or navy are to receive the necessary It is rational for every man to de- privileged to wear, and whether sire a nearly perfect health and con- silver. continued treatment to restore them for your mother, wife, sister tent of as possible. Get one as nearly as possible so that they may mind may be or sweetheart, to -wear in honor of your go back to civil life capable of en- This desirable condition of body and services. Address. joying mind is within the command of the THE SERVICE EMBLEM CO , the benefits which the winning Street Pittsburgh, Pa. ot the war affords. disabled soldier if he will take ad- 108 Sinithfield It is stated on good authority that vantage of the opportunity offered by modern the government. It should induce military medicine and sur- BACK TO SCHOOL AGAIN gcry is able to treat and manage him to remain in the military hospital combat_ injuries received in battle; as long as may be necessary. that within the maximum time of Varmint By Kansas three months, from eighty Johnson City Star. to eighty- To Have and to Hold. .. .By Johnston Kansas City Times. five per cent, of the men were re- School Notes Way Home .By King Los Angeles Times. turned to full military service. Of Soldiers Three course, many By Kipling New Orleans Times Picayune. went back to duty with- Uncle William By New in a much period Lee York Times Daily and Midweek shorter of time. The Educational Department suf- Extricating By Of other Private Obadiah Lincoln Pictorial. the remaining fifteen to fered a severe loss when W. Rough Road By Locke Philadelphia Ledger. twenty per cent, a comparatively C. Cross, Ward 88, was transferred to The Business Man’s large Michael, Brother of Jerry. .By'London San Francisco Chronicle. number are able, within a like Camp Sherman, a few days ago. Pri- Hardy Norseman Department Store period of volunteered his By Lyall Washington Post. time, to return to special or vate Cross, who ser- Taming of Red Butte Western... limited vices as an instructor penmanship, non-combat service. The com- in .By Lynde “It is the absorbing from pletely down as being physically fit constant and out, from a mili- was certified Abington Abbey By Marshall every possible tary point of view, for transfer to a convalescent camp source that makes a are relatively Bamabetta By Martin man and it is a small in and from the service. well informed, great number. discharged Four Mason variety of that makes During the war, However, he had become interested Feathers By knowledge him men disabled by so Mr. Single By broad and where he sickness and in his teaching work, he was not at McCutcheon sympathetic combat injuries have Ashton Detective. .By otherwise be narrow and rutty eagerly co-operated with all anxious has been Kirk, Mclntyre would Stationery the medical to go. He asked Temperamental Henry....By Merwin habitual absorber of Office officers in apply civilian em- and hard. The the desire and effort to to for work as a Man Higher Up By advantage become speedily ployee. Miller knowledge has the of well and able to re- Amos Mitchell a of turn to the battle Judd ....By touching life at vast number front. In the mil- of the .By Mott His are and, itary hospitals E. Morris, sent to Jules Great Heart... points. interests wide; Office Furniture overseas one fre- Private Frank King of the Khyber Rifles. .By Mundy an interesting quently heard this hospital as psyscological ex- as a rule, he is man the question, “When a Walking , By expe- ™ l!1 Shadows Noyes because of his great variety of \» e ble again to get into the aminer several weeks ago secured his g m f Hillman By Oppenheim riences. & ‘ on the hand, one discharge last Friday. Private Mor- Ruling f -n other Scarlet By with the man who does Printing rarely, if ever, was ris civilian life is Dr. Morris and Pimpernel Orozy “There is, asked, “When can in Red Rock By Page one, a tendency to over- scbailged is professor of psychology at the Con- not possess from the army?” Weavers By Parker the of a What has necticut for Women. He was emphasize advantages col- been done for the dis- College Harvester By Porter Those who were abled soldiers in for a commission, but lege training. time of war in recommended Christopher ,By Pryce obliged leave to help sup- 1 lance can be as perform- the armistice prevented it. to school e efficiently and the .By Reade port the family, or because, of ill durng the armstice in Cloister Hearth... Private Exchange the military Calvary Alley By Rice health, and were not able to go to 13 overseas and in State? the United Mrs. Red Pepper By Richmond college, think they have suffered an Bell, Grant 4460 Where a By If during the A. L. A. There’s Wi11.... Rinehart irrevocable loss—that there must & A., Main 642 war there was a rea- deficiency P. son for disabled to Woman in Question By Scott necessarily be a great in men receive effi- By cient treatment so Tree of Heaven Sinclair their lives that can never be made 1 642-644 Liberty Avenue that they could, HELP! By not get as speedily as possible, ijsturn to Peter Smith up—that since they could the Kidnapped By Stevenson they wanted they PITTSBURGH, PA. duty, there is an equal reason Several men have asked for “When liberal education tnat they Rudder Grange ... .By Stockton forever barred from getting an should receive like thorough a Man’s a are Service Competition Man” by Wright. It was Gulliver’s Travels By Swift equivalent. They that what Eliminates treatment that they again may en- loaned to a man in 9B on January 30 think gage Gentleman from Indiana they can pick up from fully in the industral battle of and is probably somewhere that themselves civil life. in By Tarkington reading and self study will not amount ward, having been read by other fact Helping the Morale patients, Gambler By Thurston to much. But as a matter of too. If somebody would best and that this continued treatment may corral it return it to the library, McAllister and His Double. .By Train many of the educated most be and and efficient men and women sV- administered efficiently, the resi- men” would be as Handle With Care...... 8y Turnbull cultured “several grateful, have never gone col- dents of cities in proximity to the well Big Tremaine By Van Vorst in the world to as the librarian. of them have never even military hospitals should not injudi- diction- Michael Strogoff By Verne lege—many Fifty “Webster’s handy By through a high school.”—Mar- ciously interfere with task aries” are the library, ready to Fortitude Walpole gone the difficult in By White den’s Training for Efficiency.” for which the Commanding Officer is lend to the men who want a diction- Blazed Trail responsible to the War Department. ary-and-speller convenient small Heather Moon By Williamson Your in By The morale of the disabled soldier will size. Ruggles of Red Gap Wilson BE ALIVE. be easily lowered that interested in Big Business By Parlette by suggestions Are you automo- By Weaver army regulations as to uniforms, biles, mechanical engineering, farm- Profitable Vocations The reason that your Government Fear God and Take Your Own Division Credit’s leaves of absence, etc., are ing, cattle, banking, business efli* put in the Reconstruction unneces- Part By Roosevelt who sary hardships and soldiers ciency, drafting, chemistry, journal- was for the benefit of the men that the Wages Profits. . .By Gantt should be privileged leave the Do you want books or mage, Work, and have been disabled in this war. _ If to post ism? Work By Kaufmann no at any time, disregardful per- on subjects or Our Navy at you fail to improve your time it is Good at of the zines one of these Woodwork By Blackburn Opportun- iods of time fixed for treatment in- some other? Ask the librarian or Farm one’s fault but your own. cluding such Cross or Heart Throbs, a Collection of ity is at your door. Get busy. measures as play and send word to her by the Red y Anonymous curative work. It is recognized that Aides or anybody erse the Reconstruction Seas By Kipling Pickering’s sick and injured men should have di- who will take the message. _ Make Seven versional entertainment, possible From a College Window.. .By Benson and that the your request as definite as so Humble public may greatly aid the Command- that we shall be able to get the right Treasure of the ing in this By Maeterlinck Officer undertaking. But book at the first try, and you won’t France...By Bell FLOWERS this should be done co-operatively and be discouraged. First Canadians in after conference. The public I Accuse Bv a German should By For Every Occasion for the things bear in mind Commanding Volunteer Poilu Sheahan that the HAVE YOU READ THESE? Pittsburgh..... Officer and the medical personnel Short History of of By that make the hospital have in mind, quite as Church Unspeakable Perk By Adams Bv Parkman fully as other citizens, the best inter- Slim Princess .By Abe Oregon Trail' THEY Happy ests of sick and men. Son of the Middle Border..Bv Garland the convalescent Perfect Tribute By Andrews ....By Tarbell The government has made ample Conqueror By Atherton Life of Lincoln arrangements for and sailors CARRY Homes— soldiers Eben Holden By Bacheller the or combat in- jTlwenty-five hundred men of disabled by sickness Cardillac By Barr Pans juries. The Medical Department of A. E. F, wrote in to the central YOUR Sentimental Tommy By Barrie in January, re- the army has a sufficient number of Denry the Audacious By Bennett Library Association beds military hospitals overseas questing and receiving a certain book. in Loneliness By Benson representatives MESSAGE and in the Unitel States and a per- Gold Trail By Bindloss The figures indicate, Nuf Ced— sonnel of splendidly qualified medical Mary of the Association say, the enormous . Bosher Cary .By men are making officers to give continued treatment Christopher extent to which the Hibhault, Roadmaker franking grant- to the disabled soldiers until the full- By Bryant use of the privileges have ed the Association by the Army est possible recovery shall been Last Days of Pompeii to A.W. Smith Co. & secured. The Bureau of War Risk .By Bulwer-Lytton Postoffice in France. Tenth Penn Insurance is authorized to pay com- Pigs Is Pigs By Butler Any man with the American forces Pittsburgh, Pa. pensable can write in to the Paris headquar soldiers a pension .... By disabled Cavalier Cable and ask for Liberty Street at Sixth Avenue based upon the maximum disability, Hidden Children By Chambers ters of the Association and this pension not be reduced any book on any subject. In the will Down Among Men By Comfort lie in amount by the improvement of the Black Douglas By Crockett great majority of cases the book disability which the soldier may -By Davis wants is available, and is sent to him ac- of Fortune ... Soldiers mail, free of postage, to ouire through training and education. Dr. Lavendar’s People.... By Deland by return for By keep for one month. The Federal Board Vocational Tale of Two Cities Dickens mail Education is authorized t® give com- Dumas In addition to the special ser- Man in the Iron Mask By individuals, fourteen regional pensable disabled soldiers training Broad Highway By Farnol vice to New Spring Styles Are Ready re-education their discharge libraries have been established in va- and after Little Shepherd of Kingdom Come occu- army, which will qualify Fox rious parts of France and the from the f By Germany. col- them more fully an old job, or if Master By Futrelle pied portions of Book for Diamond have also been placed in all they need it, it will train and edu- Monsieur Lecoq .By Gaboriau lections | [New Spring Suits, New Spring Hats. huts and in _ many lucrative oc- .. By Galsworthy the recreational cate them for a new and Patrician direct to military cupation. Golden Bough By Gibbs cases have gone Forty military hospitals _ m the Romance of a Plain Man. .By Glasgow units. New Spring Furnishing in fact United States have facilities and Adventures in Friendship The following newspapers come

•• • library, if men in the equipment to carry the physical ; By Grayson daily to the and on when reconstruction of disabled soldiers. House in the Mist... By Green wards will tell the librarian, Everything New for Spring A Free Education Heritage of the Desert By Grey she goes around with books, that they It is recognized in modern medi- Red Eve By Haggard want certain papers, she will do her cine, that methods of treatment em- Man Without a Country By Hale best to see that they receive those braced under the term “Physical Re- In Freedom’s Cau5e...... By Henty papers, although of course, the construction,” will hasten the correc- Cabbages and Kings. . .By “0. Henry” papers will be several days old: tion of temporary disabilities, will Prisoner of Zenda By Hope Atlanta Constitution. By Browning King greatly improve the physical defects Pam Hutten Boston Transcript. Co due to permanent disabilities, and will Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Chicago Tribune. aid the medical ap- By Ibanez Cincinnati Enquirer. officers in the By 439-441 WOOD STREET plication of work as a mea- Ramona Jackson Cleveland Plain Dealer. curative of an Idle Fellow Mountain News. sure. This therapeutic work is essen- Idle Thoughts Denver Rocky tially prevocational or even vocational . By Jerome Detroit Free Press. ASYOUWERE March 8, 1919

We are grateful to our patrons and ASYOUWERE to the friends of the Hospital who are making this increase possible. We WORDBFROMTHEWARDS Official Publication of will continue to meet your increased yie Gawds ! U. S. Army General Hospital No. 24 demands with a larger paper; and Sergeant Kindsvate of the Ortho- Parkview Station, Pittsburgh, Pa. promise a better journal as our ex- pedic Ward takes great pride in perience increases. carrying Chevrons and Division Dis- Published Every Saturday tinctions in his pocket. Some how or other he does not like the idea of any extra trimmings. But cheer up Lieutenant-Colonel E. D. Kremers, Medical Woofs Kindse! Elsie said she would sew Commanding Officer, them on for you, as she is very Ppt. Jack Greggs would like to anxious for the job. Lieut. William L. Munson... .Advisor know if the Red Cross furnishes The Orthopedic Ward has gone Serg. I. A. Melnick Editor marriage licences free of charge to dry ! Ryan and Wallace have turned Pvt. Karl A. Sapp Business Mgr. men in uniform. to ice cream. Since Miss Weaver came the Pvt. H. Swanick.. .Asst. Bus. Mgr. to V. Pvt. Tommie Krebs, while eating Orthopedic Ward she is improving in Private Frank Drew Cartoonist supper Tuesday at the Hospital, her dancing and she smiles more found an oyster in the stew. He de- rapidly now. cided it was meant for oyster stew Private Wallace in the Orthopedic “THE PORT OF MISSING MEN” without the oysters. Ward is elected Fire Marshall of the ward. He gets the night mare and With this issue “ASYOUWERE” Gerard to Pvt. Arthur Ford—When plays fire. is beginning a new department, “The do you think you will be released, old They all can talk about the Ortho- Missing The purpose Port of Men.” man ? pedic Ward but there are some d—- of this department, as explained else- Ford—Whenever this command can fine men in it. where in this number, is to make a get along without A. Ford! There are other wards as bad as the thorough, nation-wide search for pny Orthopedic Ward but the nurses information regarding the where- Notice to Movie Shooters You shield them. Now why can’t get some abouts of any man lost in the Service can get a $lO,OOO picture most any of those nurses. or from whom his relatives had not evening in the Sergeant’s quarters, They all like to get their throats heard for an undue length of time. Army Hospital No. 24. sprayed in the Orthopedic Ward be- Under instructions from the office of cause they took the medicine out of the Surgeon General every hospital Pvt. De Foe applied for a trans- the atomizer and put real Irish tea paper in the country is- to run such fer to Detroit, Mich. He wants to in it and they came back for seconds. a column and print in it the names of know whether Miss Nash will follow missing men in order that their fam- “suit.” One of the nurses wonders if we ilies may not wonder year after year will be in quarantine the 17th of whether the man is dead or whether Sgt. Bill’s Commands— March. Is she German? he was a deserter. Moreover, the Ad- Company fall in! Ompney! A patient has a thirty day furlough jutant General of the Army has es- fohld’n! and is going to take the nurse along. tablished a special bureau in France Count off!—Khon! Opff! Orderly—Say nurse is this a—? for the purpose of locating men lost Squads right!—Squokds prawd! Nurse—Holding object close to in action with the American Expedi- Right by squads! March.—lght eyes, I can’t see very well but I think tionary Forces or men who had not b’squks-rrch! it is. written home for any length of time. Keep your hands down;—Leep ur Favorite beverage of the ward At every General Hospital there is nnd! on! HOW SOME OF US EXPECT TO LOOK WHEN DISCHARGED are water and buttermilk. It also also a Bureau of Communication es- Stop chewing the rag!—'Stappl happens to be Lt. Brumbaugh’s fav- tablished for the purpose of receiving schewin tuhrageh. orite prescription. the lists of the missing men and men Wanted For Isolation Ward— about whose death details are being JUST FOUND OUT army promptness sprang to the Mouse traps and cheese. asked. These lists are arranged ac- Reveille Column breach and saved the day. The Liem. are “right pert” his “We all” this cording to regiments and companies Sam—“Ah done hear dat they form being bashful wishes to voice morning so “you all” ought to be so that it is very simple in comparing thanks and appreciation through happy, Columbus bones.” Wake ’Em Up the hope that they with the hospital register to find men Ham—“Lawd! Ah nebber suppos- these columns with A nurse in 8A was heard to re- who informa- might have the desired ed he vuz a gambler man. will come again. mark, “I wonder why Uncle Sam tion. For example if a name appears By Bob Teed made Sgts. out of such little boys.” in the missing list of a man who was Why will the women always fall YOU SAID IT, SISTER General Hospital Mostly General in Company 23 of the Fifth Regiment, for the glittering bars and shining PARKVIEW MAN SURPRISES Marines, and there is in the Hospital “puts!” Eva called on the phone and HOME FOLKS WITH A preacher out in Kansas has just to de- a man of that regiment and company, WHAT THE SPHINX SAYS— asked talk to Pvt. Mike Green, WEIGHT AND SPEED celebrated his 102nd birthday. scribing as being small dark it is clear that that man may have Many things of have him “a Yet they tell us the good die young. consequence with a mustache,” the some word about his missing com- happened since I born. fellow pretty Bucyrus, Ore., Feb. 22.—Lloyd It Johnson and Moore think was hard working Lieut, who answered rade. may be well to remember Corporal The American for instance— Hinkle, who was inducted into the Flag the couldn’t locate Green so that families are interested not only Allegheny a rather attractive place Ask the phone army at Camp Sherman August lately- Hun. he proceeded date himself with last in the facts of death, but also in the -2 A. M. an officer would be smarter to up and came home for his first visit Many one. The question How manner in which death was incurred. Sgt Stevens has joined the red he knew less. the fair is, weighing 205 pounds, thirty-four if going win back with such Often the most interesting details chevron ranks, and will be greatly This plague of mustachettes—you is Green to pounds more than when he joined at concerning a handicap? engagements can be se- missed by everyone who knew him. He can’t call them mustaches, no just Camp Sherman, arrived on a late cured and these in themselves some- was one of the first men to be sent wee, wee marie mustachettes. Who train and rather than call for the times make the fate of the man in- here and has proved himself a faith- started anyway? I a Great consternation in Aspinwall! family automobile to come to town quired it once knew for almost certain even when ful and efficient man and we all,wish nurse— How about it Lute, are Last Monday evening our bald-head- for him, hiked the five miles to his the informant was not an eye-witness. him a successful future. y’gonna Marcus all? ed corporal insisted on singing a duet father’s home in an hour and twenty The work of this department is be- Cheer up! Cute little harbors for at the entertainment given by the minutes. Hinkle is a member of the ing carried on with vigor now and flu germs anyway! First Presbyterian Church. He was 14th Hospital Unit, stationed at every encouragement possible is giv- Nurses’ Notes The friend that sticketh closer than suppressed, but not until he had suc- Park View Station, Pittsburgh, Pa.— en to find any news whatsoever re- a brother—Friend Cootie. ceeded in making everyone miserable, Bucyrus News. garding missing men. Everybody who go off to Sgt. Miller suffered the most, bein;* We did not know that Lieut. Pop- Mother, may I war. can possibly be of assistance in locat- Yes, my darling son, forced temporarily to retire. STUDY IN MESS HALL kin a until we saw ing lost men is interviewed. The Home was tailor, him Be and join taking a waist measure. sure the Q.M.C., PHYSIOGNOMY Service Bureau of the American Red And near Hun. is among the detach- “When Do Vote?” Why Are never go a It rumored Cross, too, is working diligently and We Well, Rum and Hun being both ment men that Lt. Popkin is looking is always ready and willing to lend Mustaches?” Titles of nurses latest song. licked, whom are we going after now. for the large bovine creature that in- aid and co-operation in this noble meaning, lets start fests the room in the plumbers Since Miss H. is on day duty the “ASYOUWERE, which task. This action is directly in line all again. fittings night nurses have “Nothing to eat.” over are stored. with the action recently taken by the Capt. Brown—You are always late military in instructing Night nurses report to Lab. 7:30 authorities getting up in the morning. Be sure It’s hard lines when she makes you every man to write home. All are A. M. Reckon they want to know what we had for breakfast. and see Reveille tomorrow morning. do K. P. every time you go to see working, hand-in-hand, for a common Smith—But I don’t want to If a fellow has trouble with his Pvt. see her. At least Sgt. Peterson says i» purpose and a common good. her; she’s not my girl. is. Such a department, as is here es- feet, because they turn towards the tablished, permanent policy Orthopedic ward, what ails the one will be a Damp, damp, damp, the boys are Sgt. Friedman had to work Satur- of “ASYOUWERE” and it is certain, whose feet turn toward nurses quarters marching, day evening and was able to go to will_ go a long way in relieving the on the hill? Ask “Joe.” Hun, The a on Over they went to get the bed many hours earlier than usual. anxiety of many a yearning mother boys have quite case Capt. they Stayton—some But when a-marching back who will know that diligent search is basketball coach. came, Who is the Lieut, from Parkview Pvt, Burns has lost his happy ICE CREAM being made for her son. Very often found that things who has such a good looking girl in They were not home. Her “steady” came home from these investigations have resulted in same, East Liberty? the France. locating the missing son. Every hos- And demon rum had gone from Patient in Orthopedic ward—ls the pital paper is sent to every other hos- hum, by gum! pital paper. In fact, as far as the there any officer floating around che Sgt. Spinnelli claims to be an ex- hall? pert in ground and lofty tumbling. “Port of Missing Men” is concerned, SUGGESTIONS AS TO THE DIS- the papers are to Nurse—Why? strictly instructed OF BILL reprint weekly all names that come Patient—l just wanted him to run POSITION KAISER When a man isn’t a man; when he to down to the canteen for me. tries to get discharged from Q. M. their attention. A wide circulation the is thus Miss Wilkeson would like to knew Detail one of buglers to blow office force. Why should a man sac- of this information assured, drill call into his it is what Miss Hoffmann uses to cure a ear till he drops rifice a good position to loaf in the When recalled that “ASYOU- dead from cussing. on its exchange headache that has lasted three days. Q. M. office. Sixteen men doing five WERE” alone has Also make hark to the fire list the names of over one hundred We still need a mouse trap in 28. him men’s work via Q. M. office. papers, not Lost—White metal cuff link— whistle 365 days a year. He’ll go including many other nuts. Army and Naval stations, an idea of Please return to Miss Wilkesos. Buy a hand organ and put him on AUTHORIZED ARMY OF 175,000 the extent of the circulation of thi& SMILES a chain and feed him home- information can be thus conceived. cooked baskets till he chokes to death. •One of the twenty-three bills sign- These exchange lists range from San (With Tears Behind Them) ed by the President during the past Francisco on the west to far-off Where are you going my pretty nurse, week is the act authorizing voluntary on is By France the east. The news Privates James A. Krause and Oh, I’m going on duty she said with enlistments in the army up to 175,000 eagerly scanned by almost every mail John A. Greggs, M. D. a curse; men. BEANS the service be only too in who would We have French toast Monday morn- I wanted to care for a boy “over glad to impart any knowledge he may ings, Inquiries there,” have about the missing man. We have hash on Monday noons, And here I sit all night in a chair. nature addressed to of this should be We have (stew on every Monday the Adjutant General, Washington, Any material or suggestions for D. C. evening, That’s the food that always makes us this column will, after the manner of Coming blue. a Hospital, be hanged, drawn, quar- Attractions This is the fourth number of “AS- tered and bisected and, if found want- We have flakes on every Tuesday ing, consigned YOUWERE.” Three issues of this morning, will be to a resting paper have been a demonstration of place in the waste basket. If found We have on steady growth and continued inade- beans every Tuesday guilty, it will be exposed in the next Beginning with next quacy of space. The first number of noon, issue. issue. which 3000 copies were printed con- But the beans that we all seem to tained only four pages and was en- long for, THE GREAT SERIAL tirely sold out_within two hours. The Are the beans that are cooked at second and third numbers of eight home. Q.-M. Quimms pages the each were issued to extent We have girls in every city, The carpenters of 5000 of the detachment and 10,000 copies respectively. We have girls in state, they “Out of Luck” Pvt. “INDOOR SPORTS IN THE ARMY” Still they were all sold out and the every say are since We have girls of every shade and Bob Lowery doesn’t receive any more demand came in for more. People beauty, candy from girl. think been for back numbers his They AND THE GREAT DETECTIVE SERIAL have asking And something paper. we never have to hunt a date. that should be done about of our This demand has led We it. us to make an increase not only in the have girls all up and down crea- number of copies printed but also in tion, “HEARTLESS of the With any Speaking of candy, Lt. Marcus re- HECTOR—Hero Hospital” the size of the sheet. An additional whom soldier lad may roam, cently But the who received a large package con- column has been added this week be- girls fill our lives with taining candy, fruit, side increasing length of and smokes. He DON’T MISS the the sheet sunshine, had expressed need of things THEM five inches. girls the such Are the that we left at home. and the Red Cross, with it’s custom- March 8, 1919 ASYOUWERE COMMISSIONED STAFF OF THE HOSPITAL Officers’ Column

Captain Anderson, Associate Field Director of the Red Cross, is a very obliging man and always ready to do a favor. A few days ago somebody came to him inquiring about a Pri- vate Otto. The Captain at once began calling nearby garages and was very anxious to furnish the desired transportation. For his information it should be stated that this Private Otto, also a Ford, can be found by inquiring at the Detachment office. Captain Tarr was present at the last Officers’ dance at the Willows and he wore a new pair of boots with the spurs wrong side up, Lieut. George A. Murray left on Monday night to report at the Rocke- feller Institute for Medical Research, New York, by special order from the Surgeon General’s office. He will be enrolled there for a course of instruction in the treatment of infected wounds. Captain Paul has been delivering a series of lectures in the Officers Quarters on German Art and other interesting topics. He has had sonm very interested and appreciative audiences. His ability is beyond question for he has not only passed the test of keeping his own congrega- 1, Capt. Moore; 2, Capt. Hunter; 3, Capt Sibley; 4, Capt. Stayton; 5, Col. Kremers; 6, Maj. Millner; 7, Capt. Brown, adj.; tion awake but he has also kept many 8, Capt, Brumbaugh; Capt. Capt. Capt. others, including Mr, Tormey, from Lieut. Munson, asst, adj.; 9, Ross; 10, Lieut. 11, Paul; 12, Johnson; 13, Notkins; 14, Capt. sleep. His best lecture lasts until Wallace; 15, Capt. Zoker; 16, Capt. Hershey; 1.7, Capt. Clark: 18, Lieut. Bennett; 19, Lieut. Popkin; 20, Lieut. Whitcomb; 21, three in the morning. Lieut. Badgley; 22, Lieut. Murray; 23, Lieut. Robinson; 24, Lieut. Warner; 25, Lieut. Mitchell; 26, Lieut. Myers, act. detach. C. 0.; The beautiful spring weather has 27, Lieut. Wolf; 28, Lieut. Cramer; 29, Lieut. Fisher; 30, Lieut. Cross; 31, Lieut. Kennedy; 32, Lieut, Cornica; 33, Chaplain called the officers out of their win- Schroyer; 34, Lieut. Barret; 35, Lieut. Weimer; 36, Lieut. Huderle; 37, Lieut. Parker; 38, Lieut. Swanson; 39, Lieut. Maloney; ter quarters for long walks in every 40, direction. Lieutenants Parker and Lieut. Stewart; 41, Mr. Pendelton, A. R. C. Popkins recently journeyed to within jumping distance of New Kensing- ton, took a fond look at the promised ARMY HOSPITAL NURSE CORPS land and then boarded a car for the Hospital. Captain Hunter has been seen strolling aimlessly about, headed for no place in particular. This is the season of the Wanderlust.

OUR CHAPLAIN MOVES

The Chaplain has moved into his new office on the first floor of the central building. The place will not be hard to find. There is a fire ex- tinguisher hanging by the door and the fire exit is just across the hall. Just why all fire fighting apparatus was put near the official abode of the Chaplain is not known. Surely our sky-pilot will not need them in the next world. At least “ASYOU- WERE” don’t think he is headed in that direction and anyway if he should by accident get to hell it would be the finest thing that ever happened for the devil. He would talk to the Old Boy a bit, get him to carry some of Uncle Sammy’s Insurance, get him naturalized start him study- ing English and the elementary branches, introduce him to some good people, and while the Red One was busy getting out his lessons the Chaplain would be giving a little talk to the Lesser Devils. Result would be that Hell would have to 1, Mrs. Myrtle Crawford; 2, Miss Bertha Griffith ; 3, Aura Patton, chief nurse; 4, Miss Bertha Love; 5, Miss Nina close up. There would be no one to Miss Marion Sawyer; 6, Miss Mollie Koehan; 7, Miss Isabel Lawler; 8, Miss Emma Nelson; 9, White; 10, run it. Miss Neva Ryder; 11, Miss Florence Reese; 12, Miss Susan L. Lesher; 13, Miss Grace Conner; 14, Miss Mabel And while we are on the subject, Stewart; 15, Miss Lela Bray; 16, Mrs. Margaret K. Lewis; 17, Miss Thelma Overland; 18, Miss Katherine Barry; Chaplain Shroyer deals out the brand 19, Miss Mae Briggs; 20, Miss Margaret Healy; 21, Miss Edna Walberg; 22, Miss Catherine Kennely. of religion that we like—that is the shirt sleeve kind For instance when “ASYOUWERE” was starting he helped by year's, or both, for any person found us out writing for us and CHIEFS OF STAFF guilty of wearing an emblem of honor then when the long day of sales was to which he is not entitled. Among over and the nickles had to be counted such emblems are included the con- and stacked, the Chaplain rolled up gressional medal, the distinguished his sleeves and helped. That, say we, religion service cross, “or any decoration is a fine and we don’t even awarded by our associates in the know the brand of his religious war.” politics. Too many men have been appre- The Chaplain helped “ASYOU- hended wearing decorations to which WERE” open its office and become a they were using to deceive or de- paper, we hope he will be with us to fraud the public. The severity of help pull down the shutter when we the punishment provided in the pro- close for the last time. posed law is sure to have a beneficial effect so as to prevent false imposi- OFFICERS’ HOP tions on the generosity of the public. A very enjoyable Military Hop was given on Monday, March 3 at WHERE BRAINS ARE NEEDED K. of C. Hall, Fifth vAvenue and Bellefield, in honor of Lieut. Colonel “I claim it takes more brains to Kremers, Commanding Officer of farm,” said Ebenezer Brown. Hospital 24. There were about two “Than what it does to git ahead and hundred officers, nurses, and guests and make a splash in town; present to take part in the festivities Why, I know six or seven chaps from of the occasion. The music was ex- 1, Capt. Moore; 2, Capt. Sibley; 8 Maj. Millner; 4, Lieut. Warner; 5, Lieut. this here neighborhood ceptionally good, furnished by Reihl’s Maloney; 6, Lieut. Huderle. Who went away to cities, where orchestra. The officers on duty at they’re busy making good. the hospital are indebted to the K. of C. for the donation of the beautiful ARMY FIELD “You take Chicago and New York—- hall and the music for the evening CLERKS ments, and the remaining number may be worn by enlisted men four TO TAKE PLACE discharge. size up the big men there— and they take this opportunity of ex- OF needed will be selected from civilian months after their Offi- enlisted cers may wear their uniforms on spe- The lawyers, doctors, merchant and pressing their appreciation. The work Workers applicants. the multi-millionaire— men who helped serve army field cial occasions of ceremony only. of the enlisted Requests to be made they’ve very Ye keepers of records and to the Ad- You’ll find all been farmer the refresthments was also much pound- clerks should be forwarded boys, or in towns, at least, appreciated. The success of the Hop ers of typewriters in army personnel j’utant-General of the army. Appli- BEFORE CONGRESS lived BILL Where they could have a chance to was due to a large extent to ef- offices, cheer up! Uncle Sam has de- ration forwarded to the IMPOSTORS the blanks will be TO PUNISH learn the ways of bird and beast. special Hop cided to give all his enlisted men camp to forts of the Committee who commanding general of the composed of Capt. Fogerty, M. C., are now doing personnel work a which the be made, now Congress a appointment will There is before take these city chaps that chairman, Lt. Warner, M. C., Lt. chance to to civil life. In their after the out by according to present indi- “Now, paper — return has been filled bill which, come, to land Huderle, D. C, Lt. Stewart, D. C., places will be put army field clerks, the applicant. is to be passed, which cultivate the cations, sure I don’t mean millionaires who farm and Lt. Bennett, San. Corps. who will be paid a salary ranging penalty for anyone provides a heavy fun, you understand— from $1,200 to $2,000 per year. These of military honor for SOLDIERS CAN KEEP UNIFORMS wearing any emblem But take the common city folks who The had his battalion clerks will take over the camp per- wearer is not entitled. i Major out for to which the try to farm, and say! drill and review. platoon a sonnel work, and where public quar- laws providing One held have . °ften wondered con- There are Federal It’s pitiful the way they try to make fine straight line and pleased the ters are not provided, will draw sub- 1 for any unauthorized . motive of the government severe penalties sistence to approxi- fhnf M their farmin’ pay. Major so much that he addressed the money amounting ™ of an army or naval uniform. ed th to their wearing well-drilled platoon and mately $384 per year. SoS f r punishment under the commended months after dis- Severe as the of ’em fall; I never highly. the It is estimated that 1,500 clerks rhlr« M,“ it is yet not so “I’ve saw a dozen them After review was of present statute is, one yet over an Irishman who been in will be needed to take the places dreamed of t?e toy’wll penalty prescribed in a seen had not un- ’T severe as the Who managed to be prominent or not the Army long approached the Major enlisted men who will be released ™™M Xry bill introduced in Congress to prevent der the _ to his future his military get into debt; and said, “That’s a foine spach ye new scheme. Soldiers now generations. This has the unauthorized wearing of serving in the been made possible by those who And so I claim a man may make an made us this morning Sergeant.” “I’m army may be appoint an act of Coni emblems and to protect a army field clerks provided they can gress just signed by military decora- awful splash in town not sergeant,” responded the Major. the have really earned to To which “Don’t pass the necessary clerical and phys- stating that soldiers may keep by Congress- And not have brains enough the Celt rejoined, upon ?heir tions. A bill introduced farm,” said Ebenezer Brown. worry, ye soon; you’re a dang ical examinations. Enlisted men will uniforms discharge Tim ™ provides a fine of SIO,uUU will be given form that is used by man Gould E. Kiser, in Chicago Herald. smart fellow.” he the preference in appoint' the Government or imprisonment for a period of 2U —S. ASYOUWERE March 8, 1919

REGULATIONS CONCERNING “Ah,” said the artist mistaking WEARING OF THE UNIFORM A VALUABLE AID TO THE HOSPITAL Bill for an ordinary cowboy, “perhaps to you, too, nature has opened her sky Discipline and Military Courtesy pictures page by page. Have you Circular 85 of the War Depart- seen the lambent flame of dawn leap- ment, dated February 19, 1919 has ing across the vivid east; the red just been received. The information stained sulphurous islets floating in contained therein relates to the wear- the lake of fire in the west; the rag- ing of the uniform, disciplinary ged clouds at midnight, black as measures pertaining thereto, and ravens’ wings, blotting out the military courtesy. The circular is shuudering moon?” quite lengthy in its contents. Excerpt “No,” said Bill, solmenly, “not of the more important provisions since the town voted dry.” are herewith published for the information and guidance of all concerned. The regulations governing the uniform of the United States Army, and its wear, are as prescribed in Spe- Is the Best Milk cial regulations Nos. 41 and 42, War Department, 1917, as changed. Gen- erally speaking these regulations will Too Good? be strictly interpreted, but it is recognized that, in a large measure, the The health of your family, Ma- present laxness in conforming to the dam, depends greatly on the regulations has grown up as a re- intelligence, responsibility and the original sult of unpreparedness equipment of your milkmen. of the United States in the manner of supply of the clothing and equip- How effectively your milkman ment at the outbreak of the war. It solves the problem bears direct- is neither the policy nor ly on the of the desire THE CORPS GIRLS welfare your home. of the War Department to work a MOTOR hardship, either on persons severing Front row, from left to right—Adj. Boschert, Sergt. Lowrie, Quartermaster Campbell. their relations with the military Rieck-McJunkin Milk service those who have Back row, from left to right—Capt. Bishoff, Lieut. Frauenheim, Lieut. Dorlittle, Lieut. Bishoff. or signified Is pure, safe and healthful. This thelir intention to rejmatyx, by Re- quiring of necessary is not a guess or a hope. It is abandonment uniform subject to military discipline. articles of clothing or equipment CAUSE OF EXCITEMENT an absolute scientific certainty. The red chevron wniie admittedly not which were purchased in good faith Its purity as- a universale panacea, is oniy food value and is in a time of urgent necessity. This tne practical “Them people over at Tumlinville sured by a daily series of tests. principle will necessarily bring pian so far suggested to about maintain ox are of dad-burned a recognition of certain departures tne distinctive cnaracter a pack liars!", no- tne umiorrn “The Best Milk Is Just from the strict letter of the regula- wnen worn uy soldiers dared old Wash Gulliger of Rumpus as aistinguisned from Good Enough” tions; but, on the other hand, it ex-smdiers. Ridge Ark., his return from a does Tne ox upon not condone many of he violation of impersonation omcers and the wearing oy night’s stay in the county seat. “I regulations which are practiced at unixorms tnose not present. entitled to do so is a question in most driv’ into town just after dusk, and Rieck-McJunkin Dairy Co cases lor tne The Sam Browne or Liberty Belt is civil autnonues to a couple of miles before I got there nandie. These cases should oe prose- RIECK PLANT not authorized in this country and I could hear a horraw going up. Pcrbes and Stevenson Streets cuted by the civil autnonties under not be worn. This belt is the When I Bell, Grant 2900 the provisions ox Sec. Izo, Act ox arrived bells were clanging, distinguished mark of the & commis- Uongress, laid whistles blowing, gents rambling P. A., Main 2900 sioned officer abroad but there is no June if, t..t>ui, Id, W. necessity JJ., laid;. Tins act provides tor its for its introduction into the around with torches, guns and such McJUNKIN PLANT violation a penalty upon conviction United States. as that. It ’peared to be a right 30th Street and Liberty Avenue of not to exceed fine or six live- The prescribed wound and service Bell, Grant 6450 months imprisonment or botd. ly function, but I missed something. chevrons, and special & individual dec- “ P. A., Lawrence 112 orations such as the medal of honor, Commanding olticers should take ‘Pleasant time,’ says I to a feller, proper ” distinguished service cross and disciplinary action to insure ‘but whur is he at?’ “ medal, and the aprpopriate ribbon that the rules ox military courtesy ‘Whur is who at?’ ” sections are a part of the uniform. are careluily observed by all omcers “ ‘The nigger,’ ” says I. o*- Special individual decorations from and men alike connected with the “ ‘Aw, this hain’t a lynchin’, says goveign governments, such as French service. This cannot be forced up- he, ‘The allies have signed an Ar- Croix de Guerre or similar decora- on discharged officers and men who menian with the Dutch.’ ”—Kansas tions from other foreign govern- do not desire to be governed by these City Star. A laundry that you ments are authorized. These decora- rules. tions will be worn as prescribed in By order of the Secretary of War: Bill Hart in a Sneaking Part Special Regulations No. 41, War De- PEYTON C. MARCH, An artist took his easel and other will be proud to partment, 1917. The French shoulder General, Chief of Staff . paraphernalia and went down into cord known as the fourragere is From our brave boys who’d gone so Santa Monica canyon and began to patronize however, a part of the French uni- ASYOUWERE far paint a sunset, all red and blue and form and only two American organ- To fight for Freedom’s soul. green. izations are authorized to wear it. They told But every boy who suffered thus Who shouM stumble on to the namely, Sanitary us much of crime and sin, Section 646 and Of theft and murders done With glory has been crowned; scene but Bill Hart in his well-known the 103rd Aero Squadron. Citations He gave his blood to save his land gunman rig, just off “location.” are By the world's High Chief Barbarians, not sufficient, special authoriza- The nation From “Kultur’s” Hunnish wound. tion for the must of the Hun, fourragere come Who maimed and slaughtered infants, from the French Government. Such Helpless women and men, Now, many of those boys, so brave, decorations as gold and silver stars old sound and committed such inhuman acts— Who went out strong on the sleeve, unauthorized campaign And Bell Phones—34o-341 Hiland ’Twas far beyond our ken. Are here, in “Number Twenty-four;” ribbons, gold chevrons presumed to From wounds they’ve suffered long. denote that the wearer has been a P. & A.—341 East For three hard years we waited, The doctors say “We’ll do our best prisoner of war, or denoting any mend your of Model To wounds war, Stark’s Kept the peace, ere we begun service other than prescribed for such To sail across the ocean To fix up all your broken parts chevrons, are not authorized and will , And make you ASYOUWERE.” not be permitted. To make war on the Hun. He —OLD DUDS. The question of laxity in dress, joked about our coming; Laundry He thought our chances the wearing of dirty, soiled or torn small. Of RAN WITHOUT MACHINEKY uniforms, combinations of uniform rendering effective aid BARTLEY and civilian clothing, In causing his downfall. HARDWARE unbuttoned Speaking a dinner, Sen- “Bestuvall” coats or overcoats, etc., for at recent is officers ator Henry C. Lodge of Massachu- and men still in the service entirely We started in to learn his tricks question of From Tommy and from Jacques, setts referred to technical automo- COMPANY discipline and will be following treated as such. Which they had learned by years of bile terms, and told the For discharged officers and men, work story: To One afternoon siome time ago two the matter of discipline is beyond keep the German back. we we hit ’em hard girls on the the control of the military authori- ffhen when struck, young were sitting ver- And got return; anda for the soldiers, when ties. It is not possible, nor is it in- hit in knitting 6203 Penn Ave. Pittsburgh, Pa. tended that the military authorities But we ne’er turned back—we went one of them turned the conversation Phone, Fisk 250 should prevent the wearing by straight on to an auto ride she had the evening dis- the River Marne. charged officers and men of uniforms Across before. which do not conform to specifica- “Mr. Jones’ ability in running an tions; The present law prevents the We then cleaned out the St. Mehiel automobile is simply wonderful,” de- wearing of the uniform for discharg- Of that “Kultured” Hunish skum clared the pretty one. “I never ed enlisted men except en route from And pressed on into Argone Woods dreamed that it was possible to gs tlm place of discharge to their home, -To show them we had come. quite so far without machinery.” which journey may take place within, They placed their best men on our “Go without machinery!” was the or may consume, three months from front wonderful rejoinder of the other. “Do the date of discharge. The uniform With H. E.’s big and small, you mean to say that such a thing must be returned to the government Machine guns, gas and buried mines hamoened ?” Phone Oakmont 176 within four months of the date of And planes, star-shells and all. “Yes,” promptly replied the first. discharge. For discharged officers, ‘We must have gone at least 12 miles the law is the same, except that the They put up there their hardest fight before Mr. Jones discovered that the uniforms, being the property of of- And took an awful toll engine was missing.” ficers are not required to be returned and the officers may also wear them on occasions of ceremony. There is, however, a bill before Congress to allow dischai’ged officers and men SPECIAL NOTICE to retain and wear their uniforms indefinitely. In view of the fact that information has come to the office of “AS YOUWERE” that men this bill is clearly the result of public are soliciting subscriptions to this paper. No one is authorized to Pure opinion and will probably be enacted solicit subscriptions or accept money for them. “ASYOUWERE” has into law, it is thought best to con- no solicitors or agents out for that purpose. This paper is published sider it already as in force in so far for the benefit of the personnel and patients of the Hospital and as it allows officers and enlisted men such of the public who are interested in it. The co-operation of the to retain and wear their uniforms general public is sought to prevent this pernicious practice by refus- &■' for the time being. ing such requests. Subscriptions to “ASYOUWERE” should be sent vV Ice Cream The red chevron was adopted in directly to the editorial offices. Address all communications to order to distinguish discharged en- “ASYOUWERE” listed men from those still in service. U. S. A. General Hospital No. 24, The fact that it is, perhaps, being Parkview Branch, Pittsburgh, Pa. used in some cases by enlisted men (( still in the service as a means of de- The Cream of the Valley” ceiving the military authorities is SUBSCRIPTION BLANK not to warrant sufficient cause its Enclosed please find $ for which please send “ASYOUWERE” removal. These causes are subject to disciplinary action and military for years to commanders have the power to make this particular breach of regulations Name . When better Ice Cream is made highly unprofitable for the offenders Address Discharged men seem to be willing and ready to wear the chevron, even City Reinhold will make it when necessary to purchase it from civilian firms. It is not considered Subscription Rates —$2.00 Per Year; $l.OO Six Months. advisable to attempt to obtain legis- lation rendering discharged men in March 8, 1919 ASYOUWERE Master hospital sergeant ALBERT O. MILLER THE FABLE OF THE DOCTOR WHO THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO WAS Bell Phones: Court 750—751 P. & A. Phone 580 Main By Lieut. Nostolgia. With Apologies to Mr. George Ade and Others. Winsor & Borchers

Doctor Livewire was Some Big Frog in a Small Getting Across Where The Big Show Was, He had Wholesale Dealers and Jobbers Puddle in Squartown. He had practiced The Gen- seen some Pretty Sick Ones Get Well and So did not Worry Much. He took Life in The Training tle Art in This Burg of 5,000 Souls for 10 Years. Butter, Eggs, Camp a Good Deal the Way He treated Some of The Half the Babies Town were named after Doc. in Prominent Women Back Home—He Humored It. He was A Big Success without A Cavil. He owned While Doc Never got to Be a Real West Pointer, He Cheese and a Steam Heated House, A Fur-lined Coat and Had was a fair Three Months’ Sample. a Henry for The Practice and a Big Car for The The Orders came. Washington had made An- Family. His Wife had a Diamond Engagement other One of Their Famous Ones. He did not Go Oleomargarine Ring—Bought Six Years after the Ceremonies. Across. After landing in Another Camp in This Things were going Pretty Smooth for The Doc. Country and Interviewing Two Sergeants and One 403 LIBERTY STREET He was in The Habit of Sliping His Feet Linder other Person whose sleeve carried a Decoration that The Mahogany with The Best in Town and when somehow Doc had Missed in The Basic Course, He PITTSBURGH PA. There was a Public Celebration Doc was One of was told to Report to The Base Hospital For Duty. The Headliners when It came to Pushing The Per- This Got his Angora and by The Time He reported siflage. Meetings On Public Policy were not Con- to The C.O. of The Base Doc was Hot Under the sidered Binding unless Doc was In the Chair. In Celluloid and Lathered Up Considerable. This C.O. Short He dipped into Most Everything of Impor- was A Polished Product, and Explained that There tance that Happened in Squartewn. Generally were several Baffling Cases in The Hospital and that THE Speaking Doc was the Y. M. C. A., K. of C. and was The Reason why The Surgeon General had Jewish Welfare Association all done up in One Sent Doc There. The C.O. had a Hospital Taken Shot on r\ Sergeant Albert Package. He presided over The Wavering Des- The Principle that There is One Born O. Miller first enlisted every 60 in the army at tinies of All The Prominent People in Squartown. seconds and Got Away with It. Under Fort Banks, Mass., Sept. 4, 1912. He This Prim- FIRST was Doc Coasting when The War Out. ing I I immediately was Broke Doc Mellowed Up and inquired How long The Fort transformed lu Andrews Mass., for duty where He was a Fire-eater and a Heartless Brute and Colonel had Been in The Army and Also he was placed ventured in charge of the Labo- wanted to Fight and At Once, so He wrote Wash- The Remark that, “Guess It’s just as well for You Y and Operating On v o. Room. ington. Two weeks brought a Commission of First and Me to be in The Army as The is crnber 24, 1913, he received his Wheeling I NATIONAL I appointmentJ Lieutenant in The Medical Corps. as Sergeant Hospital Now, not being Pretty Heavy This Spring.” Corps and as Up on The Military Stuff, He thought that A Ist A week in The let Doc In on The and detailed anesthetist Base Joke, X-Ray Operator. He was later Lieutenant Must be Pretty Near the Top, so He was but The C.O. had Himself well and Any- transferred to Guarded Fort Strong, Mass.*, Sworn in Poste Haste. From the Tone of The Let- way there was Nothing to be Gained by telling The | | and in August, 1915 to Fort Williams, BANK ter from Washington, signed by One of The Hired Old Maine. On April 4, 1916, he was ap- Fellow that All Men are Liars, especially P?inte d Sergeant First Class, Hos- Men, Doc gathered That Pershing Needed A Fam- Those Running Base Hospitals. at PITTSBURGH and at ily Physician and The once ordered to Government Wanted The So Things just Dragged along during The Sum- 1 Hawaiian Department lor duty. n General’s Family Well Cared for and so Had mer and In the Fall after All The Big Ones had | is a strong, popular and con-| Upon his arrival at Honolulu he Selected Him for The Big had a Whack at The Big Show | was assigned to duty at Post Hos- Job. The War was Stop- | venient Bank, with a welcome pital, One Bright Morning The Telegram Came. It Schofield Barracks and on ped Suddenly and Doc was left at a Mobilizing Cen- I for all customers, whether| 4, 1916 where he in stated That 3 months of Military Training in A ter with His Baggage marked A.E.F. and An Ab- assisted | their business be large or of | organizing Ambulance Co. No. 9, the Southern Camp was desired so that He would Be sent Kind of Feeling in His Mid Works. Later he hrst entirely motor equipped Ambul- Up on nicities of Military | moderate proportions. ance The Customs and Cour- found out That the A.E.F. meant Allentown Effec- Company in the Army. He was tesies. Doc Began Come To. It gradually appointed Hospital To was tives Fooled. Sergeant, Medical Creeping In Him that A Lieutenant department January 18, 1918 and on First was Well, Taken by and Large, Matters were not so relieved as First Sergeant of Am- Not The Biggest Thing in The Army. Also He Bad. Everyone was going Home and So Doc or- Capital ulance Co. No. 9, and was assignee could not get The Significance of The Big Affair dered The House Opened Up, Sent His Wife Home $4,000,000.00 o duty with The Traveling Medical Advisory when The Colonel’s Father-in-law’s Last Name was and Notified The Garage Man to Turn Henry over Board, Selective Draft Conferred Up-to-date Surplus ntruTi 106 or the Territory of Hawaii. on The Camp. Doc had a Couple of Times just to Make .Sure that She was While on the Island of Mani the thought of War in Connection with Fighting. And Hitting All Four. And Then Washington made $1,250,000.00 of the Board made the besides The Ten Mile Hike shortly after midnight Another One. Proceed to A Reconstruction Hos- .cent oi the famous extinct volcano Deposits got His Nanny. Just Why A Successful Doctor pital in This Country and Fix Up Some of The Men Haleakala and a few days later on $26,155,720.09 the Island of Hawaii they witnessed should make A Mud Hen of Himself was not Who had Orchestra Seats in The Front Row at the eruption of the Volcano Kilanca, Clear. Several Things were Hazy. Back Home The Big Show—was The Gist of The Official Note Upon Resources the completion of his duties Doc was Quite A Dignified Cuss and Most Folks that They Handed Out to Doc The Day Before with the Medical Advisory Board were careful in $41,143,568.70 he was agate conversation with Him. Here in Christmas. Doc Frothed. Did He Comply with assigned to duty at The Post Hospital, Schofield Camp several Young Warriors whose Pugilistic The Order? He Did. On Two Occasions He had Barracks in Cognomens charge of the Sick and Wounded of- were Captain and Who were Still in Seen Them Leading Away Some Folks Who Didn’t. | LAWRENCE E. SANDS | hce. During September 1918 Ser- The Pin Feather Stasre had hollered at Him about Doc wanted To Get Back Home with a White One. President | geant Miller passed his examination Making The Salute Snappy—and on one Occasion It would Look Well Framed and Hung Up in The tor Master FRANK E. BROOKS | Hospital Sergeant. The One Sears and Roebuck Artist had inquired, Waiting Room. examination included the following “Which Vice President subjects: Is Your Left Foot?” MORAL—It’s Better to Be a Big Freer in A Army Regulations, Army One C. Paper Work, Manuel of Court Mar- Thing Kept Doc Sweet—The Chance of Small Puddle than A Small Frog in A Big Puddle. CLYDE TAYLOR tial, Materia Medica and Thera- Cashier peutics, Pharmacy, Nursing and trade and profession, and some were REGULATIONS CONCERNING to bo in OSCAR WILSON ard Management, Cooking and worn case of less than six M- drawn in who had never done much WEARING OF ARMY months overseas service. Only one Assistant Cashier tVY Minor Surgery, type of C m Sanitation, Hygiene, of anything. The fellows who were SERVICE CHEVRONS chevron is to be worn, how- Drill M & ever. gold, and S. B. THOMPSON, JR. | aYJ? d Mathe»t>atics. He making good The silver blue chev- nSiia later when the war came will rons are never together. ,^ xarmnation for Commis- to be worn 1 Assistant Cashier I ci’rm i q have a chance and a desire to con- The Army service chevrons seem afll|;ary C°rP s for immediate overseas duty and had been ordered tinue. The fellows who were doing to have furnished much discussion and to BONUS OF $6O AND 5-CENT the United States to report to the nothing, or worse than nothing, will men in service as MILE- jutant confusion for the | FIFTH AYE. and WOOD ST.,j General. He arrived at have a chance to redeem themselves well as the general AGE TO DISCHARGED SOLDIERS 1 ra c sco public. There are Pittsburgh. ’ Cal., four days o fl J. before In fact, they have already done it. iv.J Wa s certain prescribed regulations regard- stoppedi his : declared which Many have been saved from a ns-less ing the wearing The signing by the President “Convenient For You.” | commission. He of these chevrons of received career, “saved as through fire.” Now and the great $6,000,000,000 revenue bill his appointment a s Master Hospital their abuse seem to be due to a there world onen to them. appropriates g.mmmnimimmnHiiHiiiiHiiiiiiiiiiiiiuiiiiiiiiniiiiiiiuiiinuiiuiiiiimiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiuiii.||u )^ Sergeant on February 7, iqin is a new lark of information regarding them. to every service man a l At TT who thought of nothing Hospital The fellow It is not uncommon to see dis- bonus of $6O upon his honorable dis- iS. A. General No. 24* a where he was assigned as bigger than manipulating soda charged soldiers wearing their scar- charge. A telegram to this effect Personnel on the Major. fountain or selling tickets let chevron between the elbow and was received at the Hospital from Sergeant working at merry-go-round has been tlm wrist, sewed on point downward. the War Department last week. Every a real job on Western front. He nr, d sometimes discharged QUESTION the worn two on a sleeve. soldier, sailor and marine A SERIOUS has a certain dignity to uphold now These chevrons have been authorized is now eligible to obtain this amount and it a bad sten to go by the War Department to be from the The the big question would be worn Government. special Not long ago in backward to something not worth as a mark of an honorably discharged bonus applies to and every real Ameiican sol- officers nurses the mind of doing. There are jobs that should soldier in the following manner. Two as well as enlisted do we go across?” men. dier was “When _ ave a greater appeal strong, able scarlet chevrons are issued to each Soldiers who been dis- important than to have already It ever more' odied men than his discharge, one of which charged may receive the $6O by was we eat? now ever before. man unon bonus Buy the query, “Where do Now Urn agricultural offers is to he worn on the overcoat, and applying to the Director of Finance asking, When can field boundless W the fellows are opportunities. The vigorous life in the other on the coat. It is to he r I)e P ai’fment. Any man There is an- uL.orf t we get a discharge? the onen of camp and battle field has sewed on the left sleeve, midway be- hereafter honorably discharged will other that should come up no doubt had a wonderful on tween the elbow and shoulder, point receive the bonus with his final state- question every effect ment papers. in the mind of soldier who tlm character of men. There is still up. the aimy. It is A change has wants to get out of a life in the onen. out in the Frequently one sees stars, both tee also been made in the T middle War est, travel Saving southwest, p-old and variety, worn usually allowance for all discharged this: am ■northwest and or in silver men. “Whit, I**£ ef q7lv sAction that should have above the gold and silver chevrons Heretofore the Government or two while He a great have insisted that thev were paid travel allowance at the rate of lowlow does ±or a vweek . attraction for the man who Soldiers dJesTor home comforts a wear the gold star rec- cents per mile from the place of is ox p al at. its best entitled to in enjoying all sorts natural- va^- Y I'oh with life discharge to the place ** om time ognition with tee first 50.- of , big concern- .. . the snnerficial idea that of service enlistment is not the run . or The ground men in ” Stamps will 2 reveille f tickets to discharged at the rate over the regular timed.-iffor hove The men star for enlistment before December men ning t- disanneared. in of two cents per mile. In a telegram 6 Grv Mothpr 15. 1917. There is at present no by a few hours. He ! c ! ose to from the War Department sight US Earth degrad- wearing these stars on received eat everything m J G from .-■pp. f should it seem anthoritv for March aside e part bv offi- 1, travel allowance was in- it is home cooking. But so^ier to flirr, farmer any of the uniform any_ n ed hnuai^ man and there is no creased from 3% cents to 5 cents per these things that are a V* to cer or enlisted railroads are oU ■ an authorization mile. The still continu- coming, what are ®"' indication teat such home Y A oiiite •*>•- na e ing to sell tickets at the rate of way of steady - V in iPlandp?, i„y, ™d by the War Department two do in the a .job nothing will he made cents per mile. go old w n;, ‘ , for The discharged sol- a few will pack to their -lean contawi Pood Gold chevrons are authorized will not be that, ou earth P overseas service. Worn dier also has the ontion of receiving Some able to do it. a living Wlll f^om wounds and ■ the 5-cent travel allowance from the be compelled to take up some- Jr frood left sleeve, between the elbow Compliments will witn fheve will hp thvm™ - measure on the gold place of discharge to his actual bona- of a thing new along iines in keeping and wrist, noint down, a chevron changed jnoTiths fide home or residence or to the place their physical conditions. sip"nifio; s six service ill his wdl require cases a sixFranceaddi- of induction or enlistment. Under it in '" chevron And many l " and each additional of a tas C vonr JiSSfy? l vo the this provision a man who enlisted at friend of great d ea^ ,. ,coura ge to face a service abroad do. it a hatever y°u tional months Chicago and whose is entirely men are make man’s j r riP*ht s eeve home in Oregon that is new. But ol^ 'same chevron wo n on the meeting the situation Mnntgomci-v has Ken may draw 5 cents travel allowance in true Ameri- Lieut r c< signifies that the wearer his home Oregon, the style and will soon doing their to in whereas un- he . can Chaplain and , wounded. ~ . part in the v i that being made Morale“E authorized to der the old provision he would only is Silver chevrons are receive allowance to Chicago.. ° the same V tlds be worn on tee left sleeve in Hospital AII in Unitary experience position as the gold ones tor have a The highest average yield relative On March 1 reports indicated that ought to influence five for in country. One g past years service in this and were un- young U . ... ar© n buckwheat was chevronmonths the grain fruit prospects on oo to choose m Northampton county is to be worn for each six their toe. The selec- 'made with 26 usually encouraging throughout the g bushels in 1915. service. , ktate. tive draft teen from every A blue chevron is also authorized ASYOUWERE March 8, 1919 WELFARE ACTIVITIES THE EPIDEMIC HITS US THE WEEKLY CALENDAR Sunday, March 9—Religious Ser- vices. Catholic Mass, 8:30 A. M. Undenominational, Rev. Or. Lyman E. Davis, President, General Con- ference of Methodist Episcopal Church. Monday, Masch 10—Musical Program. Tuesday, March 11—Afternoon, Mrs. Capen. Music in Wards. Evening, Minstrel Show. Wednesday, March 12—Moving Pic- tures. Thursday, March 13--Jewish Welfare Board. Boxing Bouts. Friday, March 14—Pressed Steel Car Co. Minstrels. Saturday, March 15—Moving Pic- tures.

THE WEEKLY SUMMARY During the past week programs of varied entertainments were present- trappers, such others who wish are urged to RETRAINING DISABLED MEN agency that urged them to look clerks, watchmen, pumpers, ed which gave the boys many pleas- stock feeders and draftsmen. ant addition to the even- see Sergeant Melnick the Hospital ahead. They will, too, have the sat- hours. In representative Other service men, who are maimed ing entertainments there were several of the Jewish Welfare Recent government reports have in- isfaction of having saved Marcus Board as a result of the war, and the posi- afternon affairs which proved to be in order to make local ar- dicated a desire of many disabled sol- Aurelius and other sedatives of work rangements for them. Report to diers to enter clerical work, despite or play for their later years.—The tion they can fill, are thus classified most enjoyable. Virgin: busy him at once. the. fact that the positions open in Pittsburgh Sun. by Mr. Washington’s Birthday was a Those minus two arms, messengers, day the Hospital. Practically On Thursday evening, March 7, that field are sa'd to be the “least at the watchmen, trappers. detachment man, Board will bring again one of paid of all the occupations listed.” every patient and those “classy, Those minus two legs can be watch- who was able to be out was enter- peppy, boxing tourna- Here is a field for discussion by psy- MINES AFFORD WORK ments.” chologists, who perhaps can explain men. tained in some manner. FOR DISABLED MEN Those arm and leg, watch- In the morning, about two hundred why fighting men, when their excit- minus ing is seek the men and trappers. men attended the ceremonies at job done, calmest, most and LEAGUE commonplace employment. Was the So many plans propositions Carnegie Museum to witness the pre- are worked today the expectation that our soldiers would being out for sentation of Medals to two of their profitable of wounded On February 21 a of mild poise confidence return soldiers comrades. After being served with case return with and to civil pursuits that it be diphtheria was found in one of the blaze new trials a delusion? Are to should a delightful luncheon, they returned impossible any returned wards in the Hospital. This was fol- they, instead, chiefly desirous of learn- next to for SILLER, NARTEN to the Hospital with the unanimous to remain idle and a burden lowed by two other cases on the next ing double entry by day and reading soldier verdict of a wonderful time. During upon society unless he be today. Col Kremers, Commanding Of- a quiet book in a quiet corner in the should the afternoon, thirty-two boys were tally and permanently disabled. Even ficer keenly alive to the situation call- evening ? entertained by the Mothers of De- government S RARNES CO. ed a conference of Capt. • then his insurance should mocracy and forty-eight men attend- Baker, Chiei But the question is not one for provide ample of Medical Service, Capt. psychologists alone; be sufficient to sup- 51 Liberty Avenue, ed the Washington birthday party of Stayton it has very prac- port. Asst. Commanding Officer; Capt. tical aspects. The government is Pittsburgh, Pa, the D. A. R. at the Soldiers and One of these many plans is that Paul, Sanitary Inspector; Lt. Braum- aroused by the and Fed- Sailors Memorial Hall. W. S. Hart’s situation the proposed by Virgin, acting braugh, Asst. Chief of Medical Ser- eral Board of Vocational Education is Robert Z. for picture, “The Border Wireless” pre- director of the extention department Wholesale Distributors sented by Artcraft-Paramount Film vice; Lt. Warner, Chief of Labora- determined that disabled soldiers shall tory Service and Lt. Munson. not of mines and instructor in mining at Cigars to Exchange was presented for the en- become unskilled workers if pos- West Virginia University who de- Muriel from 10c Special regulations governing the sible to it. The men who are tertainment of all patients during avoid clares that positions can be found in 15c control of diphtheria were adopted are told each. the evening. maimed being frankly that the mines for disabled soldiers and and printed and-were in the hands of are Blue Monday was made bright they handicapped in competing sailors, after they have been properly Robt. Burns from 15c the entire command within three with the physically fit work re- 10c to by a showing of several reels of a in trained. Profitable positions in the news weekly. hours. quiring neither particular skill nor each. late Daily inspection of mining industry, according to this Tuesday night, the famous “Lind- every person on training. They are urged to prepare authority, should be easily the post was made; throat cultures activity available Owls, 7c. say presented a musical for_ in the trades and in a after a period of training. Quartette” have been made by laboratory of variety of other pursuits, indoors suitable program, assisted by five minstrels force, and Virgin contends that those every person and all modern out, that special Mil. White Owls, Bc. under the auspices of Mrs. H. N. Van- methods demand knowledge. minus one arm can be superintend- of prophylaxis were started at once. The disabled voorhis. After listening to these soldier, retrained for ents. mine foremen, fire bosses, This prompt action has unearthed skilled own, Little Bobbie, 6c. “Sons of the Sunny South” a fellow employment, can hold his weighmen, stationary engineers, lamp just had to his troubles. While nine mild cases of diphtheria and 15 the board believes, and it is putting forget men, . oilers, bookkeepers, payroll the boys were themselves in carriers (persons who harbor the the opportunity 'before every crippled enjoying man. the Assembly Room. Charlie Chap- germs in their throats but are not No sacrifice is involved for picture pro- sick). These persons were promptly the soldier: his training is free and lin’s “Easy Street” was isolated. voking laughter and spreading good Results show no fresh cases he is paid $65 a month while learning cheer among the bed patients in the in the last three days and RESULTS On December 28 there were 12.684 The picture was presented ARE WHAT COUNT. disabled soldiers registered. Of these wards. been by Mr. Riphard of the Exhibitors 1,455 had placd in occupations k Mutual Film Corporation. by the board or had placed them- Wednesday night that FRIENDS’ LEAVE selves; 520 had been recommended is one will for special long be remembered for the fast SALVATION ARMY training, and 2,183 had snappy boxing bouts between some I been listed as prospects for training. of the fastest boys in this section, i is by many Sixty-three courses were represented Interest manifested assignments, Harry Greb who boxed Mel. Steven- returned soldiers in the membership in including agriculture, and Chick Rodgers has League architecture, civil engineering, chem- son made drive of the Friends’ of the istry, many friends in hospital and the Salvation Army Pittsburgh mechanics, teaching, secretarial the in and and boys anxiously waiting for Allegheny county from March 15 to work, telegraphy window dress- are all his ing. reappearance which has been promis- 18. The interest on the part of the Some were sent for instruction ed for the very near future. soldiers in the Salvation Army re- to industrial establishments and Thursday night, the Fox sults from the others to the best schools of the Na- Sunshine warmth of feeling on Pittsburgh Comedies sent out by Fox Film Co., the part of the military men toward tion. is contributing its were enjoyed immensely. the Salvation Army because of that share. Only last week it was announc- Friday be another ,self-sacrificing ed that two maimed soldiers were as- turned out to noble, signed busy day. Thirty-five boys were en- work among boys in and to the Carnegie Institute of the France Technology for training mining tertained at the at the Nix- in the cantonments this country. in matinee in engineering, by the Pittsburgh branch on theater by the Actor Benefit Fund, The Friends’ League was organiz- All Star Cast. Forty of the boys were of the vocational training board. ed by the large circles of friends of Pittsburgh’s splendid universitv, tech- guests of the Sharpsburg Y. M. C. A. the Army to assist the Army, a “Father en- in nical school and great industries will and Son Banquet” and financial way only, in the work and joyed the several speakers who were probably make it a center of instruc- activities of the Salvation Army in tion for disabled men. presented during the evening. The Pittsburgh and Allegheny county. entertainment It is probable that one reason for evening presented by Twenty-five thousand members will the K. of C. Minstrels served to chase the apparent desire of many soldiers be sought in the drive of the Friends’ for clerical work is the fact they “Old Man Trouble” away from the League and from that hospital. the funds realized want something new, and it is gravi- the enrollment of members at the tation -All in all we had a wonderful week in the path of least resistance nominal charge of $l, $2 or $5 an- to seek change where entrance is nually will be used to defray the an- But the men who Y. easiest. disabled M. C. A. nual “overhead” expenses of operate have the patience to fit themselves for ing the institutional activities of the work demanding special knowledge The Hut opens “Y” Saturday, Salvation Army, such as the Moth- and skill will some day thank the March 8, 7:30 p. m. The Pentalpha ers’ and Children’s Fresh Air Camp, Club of Pittsburgh will present their Slum Settlement, Day Nursery and KB follies of 1919. The caste consists of two Industrial Homes, all of which fifty men, all member of the club. are situated in Allegheny county. There will be a Gypsy Dance given fighting by The men at, Parkview, eight young girls in costume. The who have paid such strong tributes club present a clean will real, live, to the Salvation Army lassies for minstrel show followed by a one act their ministrations of doughnuts, of THE playlet. Do make other the kind that “mother used to make,” not any engage- cigarets and in ments to see chocolates France, for this date. We hope will be given an opportunity to hear all officers, nurses, patients and de- Commander Evangeline be Miss C. tachment men present. This will Booth, head of the Salvation Army HORNE CO. a real treat: so it. Come, JOSEPH don’t miss forces in the United States, sneak in have a good time and make the “Y” the Syria Mosque, Pittsburgh, your home. welcome. at 3 Everybody o’clock Sunday March 16. Mr. David H. Bissett, formerly “Y” afternoon, secretary at Tech Hut, Pittsburgh is now a member of the staff at the On Monday evening, March 3, the Hospital Hut. We think he will be men of the Hospital were given a Pittsburgh's a good team mate for our present very rare treat. Everything was secretary, Carl A. Walter and hope modern and up-to-date, from Jazz to to see some big things from now on Hoola-Hoola and Shimmie. No won- Best at the “Y.” Here’s success to you der the Assembly Hall was crowded Bissett! to capacity and the wild cheers of to the men echoed and re-echoed. The Place JEWISH WELFARE BOARD dancing of Mr. William E. McCov and Mi ss Helen Witham was, indeed, very Shop Circular No. 92 of the War De- artistic and the best example of mod- partment relative to the Passover ern terpsichorean art yet exhibited holidays has ,iust been received. Ac- here. The sweet voice of Miss Dora cording to this circular “Matzos” or Manghian, together with her catchy unleavened bread will be distributed gestures, elicited many an encore, to soldiers of the Jewish faith bv the while the numerous songs of the Dolly Jewish Welfare Board. In addition Sisters brought forth wild applause,. FIF TH—PENN—STANWIX those men whose services can be spar- The Messrs. A 1 Epstein, violinist, and ’TIS A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE ed will be given a two-day pass Harrison, pianist, of the Maggio be- R. BUT TIS BETTER’N tween April 6 and 9. Those who will Orchestra were the most clever ar- WARR not be able to secure such leave and. tists on these instruments. NO WARR ATALL