President Comments on His Continued Health and New Work-Out Plan
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Volume LAXVINI • No. ∞ October 17, 1996 Freed The Student Newspaper of Clark University Council takes on racial problems New committee formed BY PAFOROOQ NAJIBUMAR Scarlet Staff mocracy as a system is always built on a foundation of central- In a response to recent student ized control. Minorities must concerns, Student Council initi- come to that authority to appeal ated steps they hope will help for their interests. We are enthu- solve some of the racial problems siastic about providing a tradi- on campus. As prior issues of the tional environment for members Scarlet reported, a Black Student of the former BSU to operate.” Union dance ended in violence Both he and Vice President Tom and gunplay on the night of Sep- Roy hoped that the committee tember 25th. Both the adminis- would let the former BSU mem- tration and Student Council, as bers “get their stuff done.” well as the BSU, responded by This decision is very popular organizing several discussions among the new Council repre- focused around campus aggres- sentatives and nearly passed by sion and ethnicity. acclamation. Abou Fall was the During last Sunday’s meeting, only member who voted against Maywood Hall Representative the motion, arguing that “this is Rob Leeman made a motion to insane. You are all insane.” He establish the African Peoples’ left the meeting shortly after. Chris Condon relaxes after a stressful Student Council meeting in which Subcommittee “for all African- Qurom was lost, and Council will many major decisions were made, all of which will be voted down at next type people.” This committee is vote on the measure after vaca- week’s meeting. “Whitebread” Condon is enjoying extremely high popular- designed to replace the BSU, tion. ity ratings, and analysts suggest only a major PR blunder, such as mishan- which Council feels had too The BSU was unavailble for dling the BSU, could sink his 90% approval rating. much power. comment, as we were too scared President Condon stated “De- to contact them. IDRISI celebrates 25th year with reception BY BJORN MYCKET- ogy and Geographic Analysis, A highlight of the speech oc- John Balcunas, HVAC Techni- ing orchestration precipitously DUKTIG THE KNULLARE and the Geography Department. curred when Eastman proudly cian for Physical Plant. Tom and with amicability,” said Chris Scarlet Staff Since its inception in 1971 and presented his Resident Alien Wall, Project Manager of Physi- Moos, Director of Bon Appetit. subsequent public opening in card, which much of the audi- cal Plant, arrived fashionably late The evening concluded with a A reception honoring the 25th 1981, it has received praise and ence found to be a very humor- with Provost Roger Kasperson. demonstration of some of the anniversary of the IDRISI project numerous grants from benefac- ous gesture. The catering was arranged by technological innovations asso- was held last Saturday. Many of tors around the world. Among the attendees were Jack Bon Appetit, which was found ciated with the IDRISI project Clark’s faculty and staff attended The current director of the Foley, Executive Assistant to the by many to be better than they that have been produced over the the event, held at Dana Com- IDRISI project, Ron Eastman, President and Physics professor had expected. Most of the food years. mons. held a speech later in the evening. Chuck Agosta. Also present in a was devoured: only some elder- “Woah, that’s cool,” com- The quarter-century-old IDRISI He emphasized his gratitude to ravishing backless dress was berry muffins remained uneaten. mented Hogarth Hansen, a project, located at 921 Main the Clark community and admin- Annie Sullivan, Resource Coor- “I’m glad Bon Appetit was graduate student involved in the Street, is affiliated with the Clark istration for its support over the dinator for the Sackler Science given this chance to prove itself, Labs for Cartographic Technol- one score and five years. Center. First to cut the cake was and I feel we coordinated the din- “RECEPTION,” PAGE 8 President comments on his continued health and new work-out plan BY MORTIMER VESTIBULE Traina is now back to his regu- While all this exercise is doing noted that he would never think union. “I had them completely Scarlet Staff lar exercise schedule which con- the President good, he admits that of running onto a soccer field to ’whipped…” said Traina. sists of 36 holes of golf, three there have been a few problems. ask a student a question concern- President Traina said that there Long after multiple bypass sur- sets of tennis, two full hours of Recently, he has been accosted ing organic chemistry, much less were many reasons for his new gery that left Clark University badminton with Jack Foley, and by a number of Clark students ever directly speak to a student exercise schedule, but the main President Richard Traina bed rid- an hour in the new fitness center with questions during his hour unless there were at least four one was that he could mooch as den for several weeks last Spring, in the Kneller. While this regi- in the fitness center. Traina was perspectives watching. much as possible from the uni- the President has instituted a new ment does not leave much time a bit surprised by their casual at- Furthermore, when he worked versity in new and inventive exercise regiment. Train returned for work, Traina is not concerned, titudes and expectation that he on other college campuses dur- ways. He also mentioned that if to the driving range last June, was “Now that I have my house and acknowledge their presence. ing the height of student confu- students were ever looking for walking 18 holes by July, and a fitness center, what else do I Traina said that if all Clark stu- sion, students would not have him, he can be found at home was getting thrown into fits of have to raise money for? I’ll have dents brought questions to him approached him even if he had during his office hours every day. rage by insolent students ringing clear slate until Polly wants a new while he was exercising, “Life been doing jumping jacks naked his doorbell by late August. bedroom set.” would be madness.” Traina also in the middle of the student NOT CONTINUED 2 • October 17, 1996 • The Scarlet CORRECTIONS: October 11- October 17 10/12 10:31am Runs meeting about Dana Commons. Decides In the 10/10/96 issue of the Scar- THE let, Vice-President in Charge of Ad- JOHN BALCUNAS LOG to start school for his kids on second floor. ministration and Finance Jim 2:48pm After meeting to reprimand Dean of Students, Collins should not have been quoted 10/11 stops by Residential Life and Housing to make as saying, “When are you people sure Milstone’s residential gestapo doesn’t in- going to wake up and realize that this country cannot survive on 5:53am Seen emerging from previously-unknown door terfere with Spinoza’s reconnaissance duties in chicken and potato chips!” That in library, with debriefing papers in hand. Sanford. statement was actually made by 11:21am Responds to emergency call at 130 Woodland. 3:41pm Oversees recharging of alien fuel batteries. Ross Perot. Calms agitated university president who believes 5:00pm Education Department requests help with orga- Robert Ross’ article should not have a student had come near his house again. All nizing final stages of ITT project. Recommends said, “we consumers do not neces- set. implementation of multidimensional learning sarily need clothes.” It should have 12:02pm Repairs radiator in University Center. acquisition database for K-12 program. read, “don’t necessarily get lower 4:37pm Responds to call from new Business Manager’s prices, but retailers get higher mark- 10/13 ups.” office. Apparently some trouble with anticipated budgetary overhead. Recommends bouncing 8:15am Begins annual report to US government. Justi- Furthermore, all the information on 4.3% workman’s comp tax to student org’s. All fication of presence in Worcester gets harder ev- pages 1,2, 5-7, 9, 11-14, and 16 set. ery year. Decides to say Jefferson Hovercraft were wrong. 7:21pm Changes dead lightbulbs in secret labs under was delayed due to titanium miners’ strike in We regret any inconvenience this Sackler; gets briefed on research progress. Uganda. may have caused. 9:30pm Calls Gary Kasperov in Geneva and moves Kp3- Qb4 for checkmate. 12:50pm Takes IDRISI Project out for spin on Lake Coes. The Student Council Observer Still having trouble with aft retrothrusters dur- October 17, 1996 ing descent from supersonic mode. Leaves omi- nous note to IDRISI engineers. Condon Issues Stern Rachel Peniche (E, Heritage Vil- Council to impeach him. Mr. 2:04pm Denies Mike Dennis use of the IDRISI Project lage USA). What affect will this for third time this week. Heard to mutter, “Never Reprimand to I&E Ordynans, who has been seen have on Peniche’s long-time af- about the dining hall with vel- should’ve hired that guy…” fair (read: sexual services) with President Chris Condon, a vet-voiced Randi Beckman, has 10/14 svelte 5’8”, is rumored to have the Senior Administration? Only let his reputation as a ladies’ man been seen about town with sexy time will tell. proceed him, and his presence on 11:32am Decides to send kids to Exeter, so scraps Dana Judiciary Chair Prerna Banati Council should provide much Commons project. (D, Minnesota). President Peniche Appointed to material for The StudCo Ob- 1:13pm Laughs about Worcester’s concept of a “Col- Condon has been the talk of the Communications server.