Anti-Zionist Talk on Campus Leads to Religious Flashpoint

Nominated for Guardian and NUS Student Newspaper of the Year 2006 Spring Term Week Nine Tuesday 06 March 07 www.nouse.co.uk NOUSE Est. 1964 Across the Atlantic Behind the scenes Student culture on A night out in Ziggy’s either side of the pond seen from every angle Muse 8-9 Muse 12-13 Anti-Zionist talk on campus leads to religious flashpoint By Nicky Woolf ence was “organised by DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinajad to deny or to question the holocaust, YORK CAMPUS became a inviting world-leading anti- centre of religious tension Semites such as David Duke, last week as Jewish students the [former] head of the Ku from around the country Klux Klan, and others.” arrived to protest at a lecture Treblow claimed Cohen “has given by the controversial a track record of supporting Rabbi Aharon Cohen (left) those who have attacked his of the anti-Zionist sect Jewish brethren.” Cohen Neturei Karta, who has been claims charges of holocaust accused of holocaust denial. denial are “entirely unfair.” Cohen’s speech, entitled York Unity and the “Anti-Zionism is not Anti- Socialist Students societies, Semitism,” contended that, who were also involved in according to Orthodox the organisation of Jewish law, “the Zionist state Palestinian Awareness known as Israel is a regime Week, withdrew their sup- that has no right to exist,” port from Cohen as a speak- and accused Zionists of con- er when they were informed stituting “the biggest threat by York Jewish Society of the to Jews and Judaism.” controversy surrounding his Cohen, who was invited ideas. to speak on campus by Edward Zinkin, Islamic Society and Amnesty Secretary of York’s Jewish Internation as part of Society, explained that their Palestinian Awareness problem with Cohen is that Week, has been widely he “attempts to pass himself accused of holocaust denial off as a representative of nor- because of his attendance at mative and mainstream a “Review of the holocaust” Judaism” while also support- conference in Tehran, Iran ing Hamas and Islamic last December. Jihad. “He represents this Rabbi Michael Treblow very minority group, and (right), the Jewish student’s seeing as he openly supports chaplain for Yorkshire and Hamas, and Islamic Jihad, Humberside who attended and Hezbollah, for this man the talk, claimed the confer- Continued >> Page 6

Members of UOTC Twelve candidates Student parents York clubs storm to come under fire prepare for elections We meet the students at BUSU cup success Members of the UOTC have faced Campaigning for the YUSU elec- York who are balancing The York Athletic Union has expe- criticism in recent days after it was tions is underway, with twelve can- rienced a week of success with vic- revealed that they had held a didates competing over six places childcare with their tories for the men’s volleyball, ‘German’ social at which one offi- on the team of paid sabbatical offi- degrees and ask if the women’s basketball, men’s hockey cer had dressed as a concentration cers. Last year, a total of seventeen and men’s football teams. Both the camp victim. They were also criti- candidates ran for sabbatical posi- University could be basketball and the football teams cised for posting a video showing a tions. Elections will be held on doing anything more to have reached the BUSA finals mock execution on the internet. Friday of week 9. which will take place in weeks 9 NEWS >> Page 3 NEWS >> Pages 4 - 5 make their lives easier and 10 respectively. COMMENT >> Page 12 COMMENT >> Pages 10 -11 MUSE >> M4 - 5 SPORT >>Photo:Pages Georgie18 - 20 Mabee Sponsored by NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 2 News Snappy Snaps Tuesday March 6 2007

Nudes and no porters A GROUP of male first year students Porters’ lodges to reopen ran naked around campus on the night of February 23 in a bid to draw atten- By Raf Sanchez tion to the lack of porters in colleges. NEWS EDITOR Beginning in Alcuin, they streaked through every college, and ended up in THE UNIVERSITY has Vanbrugh. One porter said the group announced its intention to were a ‘nuisance’ and claimed the stunt reopen closed porters had prompted two complaints from lodges on campus, bring- female residents in James. Another ing portering back to the said that the group responded "aggres- October 2006 service sively" to him when asked to stop. A benchmark. The student who was involved in the stunt, announcement comes in claimed that the group’s aim was "to the wake of a number of draw attention to the fact that if porters campaigns by both stu- had been at every college, we would dents and academics, as have not completed all 7 without being well as an open letter cir- caught," but admitted that “the naked- culated by Nouse bearing ness was “a rather sketchy part of the more than 1,400 signa- night” as “much alcohol was con- tures. sumed.” In a letter dated February 15 Keith Lilley, University attacked in Director of Facilities Management, laid out his national newspapers intention to “return to a 24-hour portering service THE UNIVERSITY of York has been in Wentworth, Vanbrugh criticised recently in two letters to the and Derwent.” Student bedrooms accross campus have displayed posters in an effort to bring back 24hr portering national press. One letter, published in All three have had the Guardian, described York as "the their lodges closed since Jamie Tyler, Chair of that it’s only going to be a spread graffiti on campus Duncan-Smith, MP for graveyard of ambition." The other, January 21. The letter also Derwent JCRC, comment- day porter, but the and a mass YUSU poster Chingford and Woodford which appeared in the Daily Telegraph, confirms the intentions to ed that “Lilley’s intentions University has to cut costs campaign. However, man- Green and former called tutor contact time “pitiful” and shift Langwith from the seem genuine but you can’t don’t they? We’ll continue agement has thus far Conservative Party leader, named finance as a central problem. 24-hour footing it has been believe it until it’s actually to fight on but there’s only refused to comment on the have all made their con- James Harrison, the sender of the on for the duration of the happened.” so much we can do.” demand made by Nouse’s cerns known to the latter letter, wrote, “It is not uncommon porters crisis back to being He added that JCRCs The announcement is open letter that an investi- University. All three for undergrads to pass through an open “7am to 10pm would “keep fighting the a sign of success for the gation be held into the received a prompt entire term without receiving any com- Monday to Friday, and cause to make sure “the multi-pronged campaign causes of the crisis, and response, while the open ment on written work whatsoever." He 8am to 10pm lodges reopen.” Langwith from campus groups to that those responsible be letter carrying 14,00 signa- also expressed concerns over Saturday/Sunday.” JCRC Chair, Won Youn, force management to held accountable. tures, including those of Heslington East, calling into question Lilley’s letter has been was philosophical about restore portering. The John Grogan, MP for numerous senior the likelihood that a 50% increase in treated with cautious opti- the cut in hours at his col- campaign included Selby, Hugh Bayley, MP for University academics, students, as is projected, will be met by mism by JCRC chairs. lege saying “It’s a shame Nouse’s open letter, wide- the City of York, and Iain remains unanswered. proportional lecturer increases. YUSU accused of bias over hustings Women’s Week in York YORK WILL mark International By Sam Thomas since claimed that some of directed at me, about the question I asked was ‘do Women's Day with a week-long celebra- NEWS CORRESPONDENT his questions were directed fact that I’m running in the you have any potential tion starting on Monday, March 3. In at her, and represented an council elections. I don’t commitments next year town, a range of activities at low cost A CANDIDATE in the SU “unfair bias”. YUSU has know what effect it has on that could stop you doing will continue through the week, from elections has expressed prevented Nouse from an election when the sabbs your job properly?’, which I dancing, music, volunteer and confi- anger over what she felt revealing the identity of express their own prefer- think is a valid question.” dence building workshops to language was biased questioning the candidate on the ences so openly.” Procedure He claimed that his ques- and exercise classes, discussion groups from current sabbatical grounds of ‘electoral regu- requires that all questions tion could apply to candi- and talks on women's issues. On cam- officers at an official hus- lations’. from the floor “must be dates who wished to con- pus, events including an open mic night tings event. The candidate, who is directed to all candidates tinue playing sport on on Wednesday and a performance of the At the ‘Question Time’ also running for Labour running for the position,” Wednesday afternoons. A Vagina Monologues next term. session held last Thursday Councillor in May, said “It and not to any specific source close to the candi- in Derwent bar, YUSU was obvious to anyone individual. date echoed her allegations Reporting by Chris Colyer, Helen President Rich Croker questions at the candi- watching that Croker When asked about the of bias, labelling the prece- joined students in levelling dates. One candidate has asked at least one question event, Croker said: “The dent “unhealthy.” Citron and Anjli Raval

Who’s MANAGING DIRECTORS: FEATURES EDITOR: CARTOONISTS: March 6 2007 Jonathan McCarthy Jo Shelley Chris Turner www.NOUSE.co.uk NOUSE Laura Nicol Sam Waddington In this edition FEATURES DEPUTY: Grimston House (V/X/010) SUBEDITORS: Venetia Rainey B & R EDITOR: News 1-9 Vanbrugh College Niamh Walsh Lauren Menzies Harriet Wray ARTS EDITORS: University of York Amy Milka B & R DEPUTY: Comment 10-12 Heslington NEWS EDITOR: Amy Scott Helen Citron York Raf Sanchez Letters 13 ARTS DEPUTY: SPORTS EDITOR: YO10 5DD NEWS DEPUTIES: Sarah Jeffries Daniel Whitehead Politics 14-16 Email: [email protected] Milda Sabunaite Nicky Woolf MUSIC EDITOR: WEB EDITOR: Sport EDITOR: Sara Sayeed Emma Gawen 17-20 Heidi Blake STAFF REPORTERS: Hannah O’Shea MUSIC DEPUTY: WEB DEPUTY: DEPUTY EDITORS: Alex Stevens Ben Rackstraw Natasha Woodward Student parents M4-5 Jenny O’Mahony Sara Sayeed chats to Man Booker Prize Anjli Raval POLITICS EDITOR: FILM EDITOR: PHOTO EDITOR: Culture divide M8-9 Claire Yeo Dave Coates Georgi Mabee winner John Banville about his alter-ego MUSE EDITOR: John Banville M10-11 Benjamin Black, his resemblance to Bart Ellen Carpenter POLITICS DEPUTY: FILM DEPUTY: Alberto Furlan James Fanning PRODUCTION MANAGER: Simpson and the embarrassment his The opinions expressed in Ziggy’s from all angles M12-13 Toby Green COMMENT EDITOR: LAST WORD EDITOR: books provoke. We also look at some Sam Thomas Andreas Masoura this publication are not Listings M24 other authors and their schizophrenic ADVERTISING MANAGERS: necessarily those of the Chris Cowan COMMENT DEPUTY: LISTINGS EDITOR: editors,writers,or advertisers alter-egos. MUSE >> 10-11 Sam Whittaker Steph Dyson Daniel Ball NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by Tuesday March 6 2007 Snappy Snaps News 3 OTC criticised for staging mock execution on exercise

staff”. Melotte stressed that By Jamie Merrill the video was “unautho- NEWS CORRESPONDENT rised”, and that the event was not part of British mili- THE YORK detachment of tary training. the British Army’s University The video has been con- Officer Training Corps demned by YUSU President (UOTC) has faced fierce crit- Rich Croker, who said “We icism in recent days for cannot condone such behav- behaviour that has been iour if it infringes on stu- described as “disgusting and dents of other religions, ignorant”. The UOTC came races etc. I would hope all under fire after it emerged York students would be con- that members had held a siderate in what they upload German-themed social at or produce for public view- which one member dressed ing.” as a concentration camp However Lieutenant prisoner. Members of the Colonel Melotte, the detachment have also faced Commanding Officer censure over a video they responsible for the York posted on YouTube which detachment, has defended shows the mock execution of the students as “a force for a hooded victim. good” and a “credit to the Jewish students and University”. He went on to representatives at the say that “those concerned University have reacted with are now quite clear that their anger to news of the actions were inappropriate ‘German’ social - which took and ill-judged and at vari- place at York barracks in ance with the values of the week 10 of last term - at UOTC and the British which one student Officer Army.” Cadet dressed in the black However, a member of and white pyjamas worn by the UOTC who was asked to Nazi concentration camp comment on the video said prisoners during the Second “It just sounds like a bunch World War. Several members of guys messing around in also came dressed as German the woods. Why is that inap- soldiers. propriate?” Rabbi Michael Treblow, The UOTC faced fierce criticism for posting a video showing a mock execution (left) on the YouTube website A Facebook group set the Jewish Students’ involved should be “sent to He added that the on campus, said the actions out on a hooded victim. up by members of the UOTC Chaplain for Yorkshire and old age homes to care for choice of military uniform were “childish, very disgust- The video, which was describes the organisation as Humberside, condemned the survivors of German cruelty” was made because “the ing and ignorant” and that removed from the internet “the mighty OTC’, claiming social: “It’s tasteless and very as punishment. Germans have always been a “if you do such a thing it is within an hour of Nouse’s to “sweep away the dross painful that they don’t A member of the militaristic people”, claiming offensive to many people, initial enquiry, was filmed and stand proud for being remember the cruelty and detachment defended the that the actions of the whether you are a Jew or during an official UOTC the hardest training, hardest barbarism that civilised social, saying that “nobody Officer Cadet in question not”. exercise. Lieutenant Colonel fighting and hardest drink- humanity can produce. Nazi took it as a Nazi social and had been dealt with inter- The UOTC has also Melotte said that “individu- ing people in York” as well as Germany was the epitome of the chap himself is actually nally by other members, faced criticism for a video als playing the part of the stating, “The rugby club only civilisation reaching its bar- Jewish, so before you say it who gave him “a punish- posted on YouTube which enemy took it upon them- exists so that gays can get baric max”. was offensive to York’s bur- ment drink”. shows a number of mock- selves to perform a mock together without joining Rabbi Treblow went on geoning Jewish population, Marthe Tholen, the killings set to music, includ- execution without the LGBT and having to tell to urge that the individuals remember he was Jewish”. chair of the Jewish Society ing a mock execution carried knowledge of the military their dads.” Ancient scrolls found at Borthwick

By Helen Citron records of the accounts of Christian faith on avoiding offers us insights – however the gild for 1399 and 1400. sin and living virtuously - limited - into the content of NEWS CORRESPONDENT The details it supplies was first mentioned by John the plays.” about the Pater Noster Play, Wyclif in 1378”. The roll gives informa- ARCHIVISTS AT the believed to be the forerunner On behalf of the tion about dues collected University of York’s of the famous York Mystery English and Related from members and of rents Borthwick Institute have Plays, fill a gap long puzzled- Literature Department, paid and received. It also sparked intense interest in over by scholars. Dr. S. Rees Prof. Linne R. Mooney gives details of the annual academic circles with the Jones of the University’s explained that whilst mys- gild feast at which 12 suck- discovery of a 600-year-old Centre for Medieval Studies tery still shrouds the content ling pigs, 29 dozen doves, ‘gild roll’, which sheds new explained that “Scholars of the plays, the information 800 eggs, 30 geese and 198 light on the York Mystery have long known that the gleaned from the rolls is a gallons of ale were consumed plays and life in Medieval renowned York Mystery huge step forward for liter- by the gild’s members who, York. Plays were not the only reli- ary scholars: ‘Its rediscovery according to Jeremy The gild roll, belonging The lost scroll was found at York’s Borthwick Institute gious plays staged in the city. brings back this bit of York Goldberg of York’s History to the influential York-based was found among a collec- is thought to be the only sur- The York performance of the history to the city of its ori- Department, ‘probably rarely Pater Noster Gild, had been tion of historical documents viving roll of its kind. The Pater Noster Play - which gin. For literary scholars its consumed meat, purchased lost for 100 years before it donated to the University. It 4ft-long parchment contains taught the essentials of the text is important because it spices or drank wine’. Sponsored by NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 4 News Snappy Snaps Tuesday March 6 2007 Campaigning underway on

Elections sketch By Heidi Blake EDITOR

IT’S SU ELECTION time again and, as usual, badly punctuated campaign posters have sprung up all over campus. Wherever one looks, one is visual- ly bombarded by a spectrum of brightly coloured manifestos boasting a range of ambitious (if predictable) policies. Matt Burton’s promise of a licensed SU venue in the city is perhaps the most outlandish, for all the appeal it might hold for fresh-faced first years. One suspects that those who have braved more than a year of student life in the cold North will be a little less credulous, though it’s hard to be sure. Credulity seems to be rife where the promise of alcohol is concerned; after all, students threw themselves behind the depressingly ineffectual ‘Save the Bars’ campaign with all the gusto of voracious Trotskyites. Despite the often monochrome nature of SU affairs at York, the run- up to elections this year has not been entirely without incident. Nominations were livened up somewhat by the application of one hopeful chap who declared his willingness to self-define as female for the position of Women’s Officer. Ironically he was the sole applicant for the post, meaning that - had he managed to get his application in on time - a seamless path to victory would have been his. Unless of course he’d been the first candidate Candidates listed clockwise from top left: Mickey Macefield, Matt Burton, Nick Hassey, Jo Carter, Joey Ellis, Kristian Dye, Grace ever to be thwarted by the ever hope- Fletcher-Hall, Lucy Wickham, James Flinders, Anne-Marie Canning and James Hirst. Sam Bayley absent. Photo: Milda Sabunaite ful, though terminally unpopular, Ron. Hustings were pitifully attended, mainly by SU insiders. It is a sad day President be a president who communi- Services and Finance when student politics has become so cates, campaigns and cares.” inward-looking as to generate interest The President represents the Her rival for the The roles of the Services and and increased funding to give only from its inner ranks. However, student body both nationally Presidency, James Flinders, is Finance Officer include acting the SU independence and sus- the success rate of the current sabbati- and at the University, and is running a campaign which as treasurer of the Union, man- tainability”. cal team in achieving their election responsible for coordinating focuses on academic issues, aging YUSU-run campus serv- Mickey Macefield pro- goals, while by no means perfect, is Union campaigns. such as increased feedback on ices and organising a range of motes an “accountable, ethical certainly not to be sniffed at. Also, a Anne-Marie Canning’s ‘all work and reduced seminar events from Freshers’ Week to and environmentally friendly brief look at the highs and lows of SU for one and one for all’ cam- sizes. He plans to enhance com- Union Elections. Union, which should be run as a history shows that it can be a force to paign stresses the importance of munication between colleges to Matt Burton’s election non-profit organisation”. He be reckoned with for the bad as well as a “proactive, forward-thinking improve events and promote manifesto promises an ‘eco and wants to increase the efficiency the good. Dull as it may seem, YUSU’s union based on communication student involement in SU deci- ethics’ budget, online manage- of Union businesses and aims to influence extends far further than and student engagement”. She sion-making. He believes that ment of all YUSU sports, socie- develop JCRC training and most students realise. For this reason, encourages student input on the “the most important thing is ty and JCRC accounts and funding. Mickey has said, “I it is worthwhile to sit up, take notice Heslington East project and that we have a union that listens YUSU info broadcasts on URY want to take YUSU forward and and cast your votes before election aims to introduce a pharmacy to to students and campaigns on and YSTV. He aims to establish adapt to changes happening on night. It might even be worth giving Market Square. She said, “I will what matters”. “a student-run venue in the city campus at the moment”. poor old Ron a chance at the polls. The highs and lows of SU history

High: 1964 The Student Represen- High: 1970s Despite the small size of High: 2002 YUSU organise a protest High: 2006 YUSU forces the tative Committee is formed for the first the University, the Students’ Union man- against cuts in 24-hour portering and University into a massive extension of time. A year later the Committee’s first sab- ages to attract a number of big-name bands Heslington Hall is occupied by over 1,000 kitchen facilities in Derwent, Goodricke, batical officer is elected, mandated to repre- to play on campus including The Who, The students. Though a senior member of staff Langwith and Vanbrugh and negotiates sent students and coordinate the activities Kinks and Paul McCartney’s newly-formed expels students using fire extinguishers , the £55,000 in compensation to residents for of the student body. Wings. University is forced to review cuts. previous under-provision.

Low: 1984 The entire Student Union Low: 1999 YUSU budget fails to pass Low: 2004 YUSU Treasurer Osvaldo Low: 2006 YUSU misrepresent the Executive Committee faces a vote of no- on three consecutive occasions due to ‘Ozzy’ Atton is arrested after bottling anoth- views of legal experts to students to justify confidence after refusing to support the inquorate UGMs, leaving societies without er student. President James Alexander gags rushing through a new constitution. Exec. miners’ strike. The vote is carried by a mar- funding. Action by the Executive is ham- student media from reporting on the arrest. Committee decide to discount abstensions gin of 2:1 and the entire team is removed pered as the Executive Committee and the Atton is sentenced to nine months impris- from the vote based on legal evidence later from office. Finance Committee fail to make quoracy. onment for grievous bodily harm. proved inconclusive by Nouse. NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by Tuesday March 6 2007 Snappy Snaps News 5 campus How far have the current team kept to their election promises? Academic and Welfare

The Academic and Welfare fight “slipping academic stan- Officer aids students with wel- dards”, promote the YUSU Rich Croker fare- and work-related issues, minibus and help shape the runs welfare campaigns and rep- Heslington East project. She SU President resents students on committees. aims to be “a strong representa- Kristian Dye wants to intro- tive voice on student welfare”. Croker’s campaign pledged to promote students’ needs over busi- duce drop-in surgeries, profes- Lucy Wickham intends to ness interests and “ensure student services are maintained or sionally trained college welfare improve communication between improved.” Since then, Croker has negotiated an extension of reps and “continuous” Chlamydia students and the University and kitchen facilities in four colleges and £55,000 in compensation to testing. He promises to “take take a “fresh approach” to sexual residents for previous under-provision. However, he failed to pre- responsibility, offer solutions and health, hygiene and security. Her vent budget cuts, a portering crisis or the closure of Langwith bar. make a difference”. motto is “devotion, dedication Grace Fletcher-Hall aims to and determination”. Amy Woods Societies and Communications Services The Societies and Communi- and I feel I have the experience to Woods ran on the slogan “Vote Amy Woods first and you will cations Officer is responsible for really make improvements”. never come second”. She placed strong emphasis on Freshers’ the coordination, support and James Hirst calls for greater Fortnight and has since delivered on promises of a “massive training of student societies. cooperation and sharing of sponsored bar crawl” and a “Big Act Comedy Night.” However, Sam Bayley’s policies include resources between societies, sim- her plans to extend student facilities to include an SU take away better advertising of UGMs, the pler budgeting and better public- in Market Square and a pharmacy collection service on campus integration of Facebook within ity for Freshers’ Fair. He said, “I have not been successful. yusu.org, flexible, long-term would be able to provide a fresh budgeting and the relaunch of outlook to YUSU procedures and Yor:Mag. He has said, “I’ve I would look towards achieving worked with students for three realistic targets - greater changes Tom Moore years at college and YUSU level are made step by step”. AU President Moore's un-opposed campaign centred on improving York's AU President sport on campus. She aims for “a standings in the world of University sport. He pledged to lead York greater unity within the AU”. to victory in both the Roses and Varsity as well as securing a posi- The AU President organises and Nick Hassey promotes the tion in the top 35 on the BUSA league tables. York defeated York coordinates University sport, sale of sports equipment on cam- St. Johns to win Varsity in February and currently stands 38th in from fixtures to facilities. pus, calls for first class sports the BUSA league. The Roses will take place in May. Jo Carter wishes to improve facilities in Heslington East and AU membership, ensuring that encourages greater student par- students get more for their ticipation through sports volun- money. She promotes the impor- teer programmes. He said the Ben Griffiths tance of the AU as a charitable three words to sum up his cam- organisation and wants to paign are “dedication, experience Student Development and Charities increase the profile of women’s and innovation”. Griffiths ran his campaign on the message “I don’t believe in apathetic students”. Griffiths presided over the most successful RAG week to date, raising over £16,000. He also introduced a RAG & Student Development and Charities Student Action newsletter. A promise of varied RAG events including “parachuting, firewalking and a zipline over the lake” The Student Development and accessibility and further commu- has not yet been delivered; nor have changes to the RAG website Charities Officer facilitates vol- nication between charitable aimed at increasing participation. unteering and charitable endeav- organisations, increase the num- ours on campus, supports organi- ber of volunteering and charity sations such as RAG and Student fairs and create more fundraising Action and is responsible for run- events. She says she wants to Amy Foxton ning Kid’s Camp. “raise the profile on campus of all Joey Ellis looks to increase the good work that is done”. Academic and Welfare Foxton placed “removing the stigma of mental health problems'” at the heart of her manifesto. Packs containing information about dealing with stress were distributed during Freshers' week, and Foxton has worked to extend campus counselling services. Her promise to organise scheduled welfare drop-in sessions has not yet been met. Foxton has secured additional funding for the YUSU minibus, though the service is rarely used. 30% Overall Colin Hindson decline in the number of Societies and Communications Hindson, YUSU’s first Societies and Communications Officer, candidates for sabbatical promised better co-ordination of student groups. He delivered the University’s largest Freshers’ Fair to date and has increased training opportunities for societies, designed to increase profes- positions since last year sionalism. Attempts to ‘reconnect’ students with YUSU have had little success so far, as UGM motions still generally fail to reach quoracy and recent election hustings were ill-attended. Sponsored by NOUSE: THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 6 News Snappy Snaps Tuesday March 6 2007 Socialist Students protest against top-up tuition fees

By Jenny O’Mahony ment top-up fees. Randall DEPUTY EDITOR said “we need a massive increase in taxation to defeat a system driven by profit. If THE SOCIALIST Students we’re serious… we need to launched their ‘Campaign to take on the project behind Defeat Fees’ last Wednesday it”. with a rally and a guest Also present were two of speaker from the University the candidates running for of Sheffield, Dan Randall, YUSU sabbatical posts this attending. year, Anne-Marie Canning, a The premise of the cam- Presidential hopeful, and paign is a push for the com- Grace Fletcher-Hall, stand- plete abolition of all fees and ing for Academic & Welfare. a reinstatement of the equiv- Canning expressed her sup- alent of £150 a week in port for the campaign, saying grants for students, regard- that she wanted to “engage less of background or with political parties and parental income. This event harness colleges” if elected, is designed to be a part of a and Grace Fletcher-Hall, a much wider national cam- veteran campus activist, said paign, and has the backing of “we need to repoliticise peo- the NUS through a message ple.” of support on their website This term, two Socialist in addition to their own Students are running for ‘Admission: Impossible’. positions on the YUSU David Marjoribanks, a Campaigns Committee in prominent member of the order to galvanise support Socialist Students, claimed for the ‘Campaign to Defeat that the NUS, despite their Fees’: Chris Swann and pledge of solidarity, were Adam Wollman. They hope “not doing enough” for stu- to raise the profile of the dents on the issue of fees but project by bringing it to the also on wider points of inter- specific attention of the est. Members of the Socialist Students open their ‘Defeat Top-Up Fees’ campaign with a rally and a guest speaker Student Union and using the Marjoribanks made ref- access to funding and extra erence to the protest march October were for the end of presence on campuses, not being backed up by seen by many as an unac- publicity to their advantage. which took place in London fees… the NUS is out of remarking that “it shouldn’t action. ceptable failure to represent The speaker who had last October, which united touch.” be left to small groups of Furthermore, the NUS the views of students. previously been booked in to Student Unions, student Dan Randall, a former campus activists” to organise campaign, ‘Admission: The main thrust of the speak at the event, York groups like NUS, teaching member of the NUS events. “The potential to Impossible’, had not succeed- speech came in Randall’s Politics lecturer Dr. Simon associations such as the ATL National Executive build a mass campaign is ed, in Randall’s view, due to a calls for a “real national Parker, was unable to attend and NUT and Socialists, Committee and currently in there, but we are not achiev- lack of political will: “one fight”, and a general change due to illness. Anarchists and Anti-War the first year of an under- ing this due to the incongru- demo a year and some shiny in attitudes towards privati- The issue of fees is one protesters. “The NUS line is graduate course, pressed this ent NUS” This was a refer- stickers just isn’t enough.” sation, which is viewed by on which there is a general to keep the cap, whereas the point further in his speech. ence to the message of sup- The lack of NUS action since the Socialists as being the consensus of dislike, but dis- majority of the student plac- He expressed his disappoint- port on the website which is the protest means that main cause of the govern- agreement over how to ards at the protest last ment at the lack of NUS viewed by the Socialists as ‘Admission: Impossible’ is ment’s decision to imple- change the situation. Religious tensions at University >> Continued from front attacked Cohen’s character move had been planned in rather than just defending and his right to describe advance “because on a previ- our personal affiliations.” to come and represent himself as ‘Rabbi’, as well as ous occasion, at a meeting in Gora said she was Judaism is unacceptable.” his contentious views on Leeds University, there were angered by the hijacking of Treblow attended Israel. One student from threats of violence because the Palestinian debate by Cohen’s lecture accompanied Leeds pointed to an Rabbi Cohen wasn’t ushered religious argument, and the by Jewish students from American rabbinical edict out quickly.” fact that “they mobilised all York Jewish Society, as well which put Cohen “beyond He claimed that some of the way from Leeds, just to as from universities in Leeds, the pale.” Treblow also spoke the Jewish attendees from provoke him.” She said London and Manchester. out publicly, accusing Cohen Leeds were the same who “What’s the point? Where’s The students arrived with of “falsifying the Jewish reli- had made threats of violence the discussion if they’re just preparatory sheets describ- gion.” at a previous talk. going to shout and be rude?” ing Cohen as “a nothing and Following the lecture, Nina Gora, co-chair of A complaint was placed a nobody”, which contained Robert Gold, an orthodox the Amnesty International by Rabbi Treblow with the copies of his previous Jewish student at the Society and an organiser of Deputy Vice-Chancellor of speeches, as well as sample University of Leeds, Rabbis came from surrounding cities to hear Cohen Palestinian Awareness Week, York, Felicity Riddy. David questions to ask him and approached Rabbi Cohen to described the conduct of Garner, the University’s advice on how to react. As ask him to speak to Rabbi haps not anyone else would Palestine Solidarity Treblow and J-soc as “selfish” Press Officer, said of this Cohen spoke, Jewish stu- Treblow in person. have understood.” However, Committee. Gallogly led saying “the situation in “The University was founded dents audibly groaned and He described the con- the dialogue was cut short by Cohen away under the pre- Palestine is far bigger than on the principle of free shook their heads. versation between the rabbis an intervention by Terry text of “needing to catch a our individual passions and speech, and we do not ban In questions following as being “fierce in terms of Gallogly, a member of the train”. is something we all need to any speakers as long as they the speech, the students Jewish terminology that per- national executive of the He later explained this get together and deal with, remain within the law.” NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by Tuesday March 6 2007 Snappy Snaps News 7 B.O.B result in question

There was widespread controversy at the Battle of the Band finale after Clip the Apex were declared winners, and the crowd were heard to boo. Photo: Georgi Mabee

By Alex Stevens announced to shouts from Bands Committee and YUSU remaining two-thirds are Woods, and we just couldn't Kroeger said “a lot of people NEWS CORRESPONDENT disappointed students. Ents Rep, stands by the deci- allocated to the panel of bear not to have a heavy were brought in by Apply the According to Joe Clarke, a sion making process: “It's the judges, who distribute band win” Breaks, so obviously they first year Management best we can get. We've used it according to a variety of fac- Though Kroeger were disappointed”. THE VOTING system at undergraduate, “it was clear now for many years, and tors including technical abil- declined to reveal the figures Students have expressed Battle of the Bands has been that most people weren't Battle of the Bands is always ity, originality, musicianship of the popular vote, this doubts about the process. called into question after the happy with the result. It was controversial, that's why and stage presence. year's result was reported to Third year student Chris winners, Clip the Apex, were a big shock. The organisers there's a final.” Votes were counted by have been close. Make It Colyer was at the final and booed offstage. Apply the rushed out following the It has been suggested Kroeger and her Co-Chair Better Later and Apply the believes that student voting Brakes, the favourites to win, announcement and were that the distribution of votes Alex Mullings, Chair of Breaks came joint second, should be the only factor in and ska outfit Make it Better clearly embarrassed. The can be skewed too favourably BandSoc. Mullings remarked but it is rumoured they the competition. “Obviously Later drew in second place, compere even apologised”. towards an unelected group, that “everyone to do with received just one point less there's the danger of it amidst calls for a more rep- Despite the embarrass- as the popular vote con- BoB this year loves metal, than the winners. becoming just a popularity resentative contest. ment caused, Leigh Kroeger , tributes towards just one- including [YUSU Services Asked about the mood contest but music is essen- The result was Co-Chair of the Battle of the third of the final result. The and Finances Officer] Amy after the announcement, tially subjective”. ‘Campus Ken’ forced to leave Late arrival of Ents

By Jamie Merrill statement Greenwood Tech disrupts Club D NEWS CORRESPONDENT acknowledged that rents in Market Square are “too high By Milda Sabunaite luled for the end of the night, to attract small businesses”. DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR was cut from 90 minutes to STUDENTS AND staff have Paul Knapp, a customer less than an hour. expressed their sadness that of Fairburn’s, said, “It's sad to THE ‘CLUB D’ event of The Derwent JCRC has hairdresser Ken Fairburn is see such a campus institu- February 24 was disrupted asked the Ents Committee to leave campus at the end of tion leave. It’s quite obvious after Ents Tech showed up for a 50 percent refund of the this academic year, following that when Market Square over an hour late to set up money paid to Ents Tech that University management’s was built, the University the stage. night, and have proposed an refusal to allow him to renew were determined to bully The ‘Club D Funked’ amendment to Union Code his let on a room in Langwith him into either hiring a shop event was based around live to ensure that a campus College. 3 or 4 times the size he music sets from visiting event organizer could deduct Fairburn has been told would need or to get shot of artists Joel Owen and Soul a certain amount of the fee, by management that he must him”. Fairburn has said, “It Cellars and campus band depending on how late the vacate his current room, ‘Campus Ken’ has operated from Langwith since 1990 would be impossible for me Make It Better Later, all of Ents Tech were to set up. adjacent to Langwith B to move to Market Square on which were cut short. Jamie Tyler, Derwent block, which he has occupied that all commercial busi- of Commercial Services, has my own, as the rents are too Following the late JCRC Chair said, “If they can since 1990. nesses were moved from said that “Ken is part of the high.” He added, “I’ve been arrival of Ents Tech the order charge extra for late booking, Sue Johnston, the head their current locations to fixture and fittings at the so happy here, and I want to of performances had to be then we should be able to get of Campus Services, has con- Market Square; where rents University and I think he’d thank all the staff and stu- swapped, and bands were reduced costs for late arrival. firmed that orignal planning are £17,000 per year. do well in Market Square”. dents who have supported given reduced time on stage. By overrunning, they’re for Market Square requested John Greenwood, head However, in a subsequent me”. The DJ set, which was sched- reducing our event’s time.” Sponsored by NOUSE: THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 8 News Snappy Snaps Tuesday March 6 2007 Cleaners refuse work after pay incentives are cut back

By Raf Sanchez require more time to clean, were falling in colleges. NEWS EDITOR but because there are so few These problems come in staff we’re not having the the wake of news that a large time to clean it out properly.” number of University clean- A NUMBER of cleaning staff Over-stretching has meant ers have refused to work in at the University have that ‘non-working supervi- the run up to the Easter con- refused to work at weekends sors’ have been forced to help ference season as a result of or during the conference sea- with the cleaning, even disputes over pay. son due to disputes with though this not part of their Incentives such as dou- University management over job description. ble-pay for working on rates of pay and over-stretch- Staff claim the level of Sundays have been replaced ing of staff. In order to deal work is affecting their health with a single flat rate, a rate with the resulting shortfall, and that many staff are sim- one cleaner considered: ‘casual’ cleaners have been ply too ill to come into work. “wasn’t worth getting out of recruited from the student The University has con- bed for.” The University has body. firmed there have been “sea- recruited ‘casual staff’, most According to permanent sonally high levels of sick- of whom are overseas stu- cleaners, over-stretching of ness in the last month.” dents, to replace those who staff limits their ability to Cleaners have also have refused to work. Pay clean thoroughly and main- claimed that shortfalls in incentives for weekend work tain acceptable standards of staff have led to the “stan- were cut in October 2006 hygeine. Speaking about a dard of hygiene levels drop- and as a result, most cleaners Derwent College block, one ping” in residential blocks. are no longer willing to work cleaner, who wished to Amy Foxton, YUSU at weekends. remain anonymous, claimed Academic and Welfare One Derwent cleaner that staff levels have fallen Officer said that “if cleaners commented on the break- from five to two since she are being overstretched then down of staff-management started working at the this obviously poses prob- relations, saying that “man- University, and that it is lems for students; both in agement really don’t care at “physically impossible for terms of hygiene and the this level how they treat the two people to clean this informal support that clean- staff at all.” A Derwent stu- place.” ers can offer students by dent said of the situation “it’s Another cleaner being on the ground and a disgrace. First the porters claimed that the total num- becoming aware of prob- and now this. The University ber of cleaners across the col- lems, such as students who have no regard for their staff lege has fallen from twelve to don't leave their rooms”. whatseover”. seven, and that similar short- A University spokesman A University spokesman falls had been experienced has said that “there is no said that “individuals are across campus. She claimed reduction in the number of entitled to their opinion, but that the extension of kitchen cleaners, simply larger areas the University has demon- facilities in a number of col- to deal with, and we are strated its commitment to lege blocks has exacerbated addressing this issue” but improving the pay and con- the problem. “The increased would not comment on the ditions of cleaning and other number of ovens and hobs claims that hygiene levels support staff”. An overseas student cleans Derwent bar after an event. Photo: Milda Sabunaite Violent students at large York carbon study

By Raf Sanchez on to provosts and academic the University’s security pro- breaks new ground NEWS EDITOR registrars.” It is hoped that cedures. the suspects will be identi- Wiggins, who suffered By Sarah Foster in order to tackle the prob- fied swiftly using the details blows to the head and chest, NEWS CORRESPONDENT lem of global warming. AN INTERNAL investiga- obtained. claimed that the assailants The report shows that tion into a violent assault on Little also responded to were Welsh fans while he DR. HAQ, a Research even if individuals are aware a student in Derwent Bar has claims made by both stu- had been “cheering for Associate at the Stockholm of the effect their lifestyles so far been unsuccessful in dents and staff in the bar Scotland”, and that “on the Environment Institute based may have on the environ- identifying the attackers. that the security response way out they turned over the in York, has published a ment around them, the gov- First year Chris Wiggins took “at least 15 minutes” to table. I said something and report claiming that the age ernment and businesses was taken to hospital after arrive at the scene of the inci- then they started to hit me.” group of 50 to 64 leave the need to act to help provide being attacked by a group of dent. He disputed that the The fighting in the din- largest carbon footprint. It is an infrastructure and incen- other students during a response took 15 minutes but ing hall was broken up but the first analysis of the UK tives to make a low-carbon screening of the Scotland- said “staff have been advised continued in the hallway carbon footprint by age. lifestyle a positive, cheaper Wales Six Nations match on of this allegation and will between Derwent bar and Research showed that and easier option. Saturday, February 11. look to make sure this does- JCR, where Wiggins claimed people between 50 and 64 Researchers conducted Security Operations Derwent’s CCTV failed n’t happen in the future.” He he was knocked to the floor have, on average, a carbon a survey of over 700 people Manager Rob Little has con- the investigation has been said part of the reason for the and kicked repeatedly in the footprint of 13.52 tonnes a aged over 50 in North firmed that the attackers, hampered by the fact that all late response was that the head until he was taken into year, almost two tonnes over Yorkshire. Many of those believed to be students, have the lights were turned off in security foot patrol had been the JCR for his own protec- the UK average. In addition questioned claimed that bar- not yet been identified and the dining hall area during called to Alcuin shortly tion. to producing the most car- riers linked to transport, remain at large. However, he the match, seriously reduc- before hand. He conceded An ambulance was bon, this age group are also waste and energy stopped added that the Security ing the efficacy of the bar’s that the length of time before called to take Wiggins to the most concerned about them from living a carbon Department believed it was CCTV equipment. Staff the response arrived was York District Hospital where climate change. Fears for efficient lifestyle. The report “highly likely” that they working at the bar have been “unfortunate and unusual”, tests were carried out and he their grandchildren’s genera- is part of the project ‘Climate would be found eventually. able to “provide descriptions but said that the incident was released to return home tion mean they want the gov- Talk’, which aims to raise Little confirmed that and these have been passed would nonetheless not affect that night. ernment to take more action awareness of climate change. NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by Tuesday March 6 2007 Snappy Snaps News 9 Langwith bar to face closure and conversion into an ‘artistic space’

By Milda Sabunaite be available for conference ing events, saying “I think it DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR use in the holidays. will decrease the viability of Issitt said, “The difficul- large events. ty is making the business “I can’t realistically say LANGWITH BAR looks set plan and convincing all the that we want the bar to con- to close after the college powers-that-be to cooperate, tinue as it has been because Provost admitted a lack of negotiate and make it work.” it has not proven popular. custom has left it a “dead He admitted that the project We’re happy to recognise space”. will require a lot of financ- that Langwith works better John Issitt, Langwith ing, requiring an investment as a venue than as a bar.” He College Provost, has pub- from the University, but said also blamed the bar’s unpop- lished a new report that con- “the economic viability of it is ularity on the fact that it is tains plans to replace the bar built into it right from the located between Derwent with a coffee shop as part of a beginning”. and Vanbrugh college bars, proposal to change Langwith Zach Pepper, a both of which are consider- College into an “artistic and Langwith Bar Rep, has ably larger. educational socialising expressed doubts about the Langwith College JCRC place.”Issitt said, “The reality financial success of the proj- Chair Won Youn has reacted is the bar is not working”, ect. Pepper said, “It sounds with concern over the plans and economic pressure has like a good idea in principle to get rid of the bar. “It’s the made the current setup as but it’s going to cost a lot of one thing that we really take unsustainable”. money, so whether it’s realis- pride in. The new project would tic it needs to be seen.” He “It’s a place where you provide space for various also admitted that he was go and meet your friends. It’s artistic activities such as apprehensive about plans to a socialising area, and if that Langwith music and drama events, as replace the current bar with goes, it will affect us quite bar is set to well as visual arts exhibi- a smaller bottle bar that badly, but we’ll have to deal be closed in tions. The space would also would only be accessible dur- with it,” Youn said. the near “Hopefully something better future. will come”. However, he assured Photos: students that the JCRC will Milda take further action to save Sabunaite the bar from being closed down. Youn said, “We’re going to go all the way, even if we find ourselves losing it. We’re not going to give up that easily”. The new Langwith venue project plans are currently on public display for staff and students in the Empty seats have become the norm in Langwith bar Langwith JCR. SU forum overrun with pornography

By Alex Stevens thread ‘Information’, the seeking advice from techni- NEWS CORRESPONDENT page most affected by spam- cal experts to try and secure mers, has been taken down the website against unwant- THE YUSU forum website, and replaced with a thread ed posters. designed to give prospective named ‘Student Life’. Within However, by Sunday students an idea of life at the hours of being set up the evening all nine posts on the University of York, has been page already contained links forum contained links unre- inundated with links to to a number of spam links, lated to York students, most- pornographic websites. The including a site titled ly for pharmaceuticals and website is moderated by the ‘Topless’. gambling websites. six sabbatical officers of the YUSU President Rich Kate Douglas, a first YUSU Executive. Croker said he was aware of year Social Policy and Social The spam posts, includ- the problem and that Work student in Derwent ing links to such sites as Communications Officer said, “I reckon it’s pretty sad ‘Black Snake Moan (2007)™’ Colin Hindson has moved to that YUSU can’t even keep and ‘Come chat with me wipe the forum website of all its websites in order. I know (naked Pics)’, started to offensive material. Croker it’s not the sabbs’ [sabbatical appear on February 4, with said that “whilst we try to officers] fault but it still as many as fifteen being maintain the content of the makes the entire Student posted every day. site on a regular basis, unfor- Union look pretty stupid. Nouse alerted YUSU tunately spam is something While I’m sure there are officers of the content of the that occurs.” some people who will enjoy website late last week, and He added that YUSU it, it can’t look great for the forums were restarted officers are taking action to prospective students who over the weekend. The forum correct the problem and are want to find out about York.” NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by 10 Comment Tuesday March 6 2007 Snappy Snaps 11 Comment & Analysis Bolting the doors of Heslington Hall Battling with the deathly grip of ignorance and apathy A deafening It’s sometimes a thankless task producing what we occasionally like to call – only half in jest – a campaigning student newspaper, particularly at a silence University where pulses wetly thud more often than they beat. It has rarely The elections are here again. Is anyone really going to notice? been more thankless, though, than this week past, as Nouse attempted to wring details of the University’s review process, and its financial implica- other of student ignorance. One wonders ings of the University, something hard to tions for campus services and academic departments alike, from the to what extent the poor show was a con- miss if you consider the results of previ- Francis Boorman clenched fingers of an administration that grows ever more Soviet in its Stephanie Dyson sequence of general unawareness of the ous elections. In the 2006 YUSU General Contributing Writer behaviour. Deputy Comment events or, more importantly, lack of Elections, turnout reached a dizzying From pillar to post were we passed, from office to office, rarely taken knowledge regarding the role of YUSU 1,300 – around 2% of the 11,000-strong seriously, frequently chided for meddling in matters that were, it was made Editor and how it affects the average student. student population. In the 2005 abundantly clear, none of our damned business. The process, we were told, Upon questioning a number of my National General Elections 61% of the was complex. It was, more importantly, ongoing. To ask facile questions fellow first-year flat-mates I discovered, population voted, causing disquiet about ‘cuts’ or ‘reductions in service’ was to entirely misinterpret the mean- to my horror, that few knew the different amongst the political classes with fears of Amidst accusations of student apathy, ing of the exercise. The meaning of the exercise itself, meanwhile, seemed In the words of the Walrus, “the time has offices and their roles; others were foxed growing apathy, acting as poison through the recent visit of the controversial Rabbi ever more elusive to us. come”. No, not to talk of shoes and ships by the YUSU acronym; and several had the veins of society. Surely our compara- Ahron Cohen seemed able to arouse So, in the absence of any information, stonewalled at every turn, we’ve or sealing wax, but of YUSU and the bly paltry levels should have sounded political passions. The Rabbi’s anti- drawn the only conclusion left to us over what’s going on behind doors that upcoming elections. “What’s this?” you alarm bells in the happy land of YUSU? Zionist stance, proclaimed by his talk’s will, it seems, remained closed to the public interest. cry, ignorant of the vibrant posters ‘YUSU should protect In light of this, it should be consid- title, surely wouldn’t go unopposed. That inevitable conclusion is that this University does not wish for its around campus, promoting the influx of ered whether general student dissatisfac- Indeed it didn’t, with a large turnout students to ask difficult questions. More to the point, they don’t have fresh faces to the Students’ Union. its members’ interests, tion with YUSU’s sluggish response to from York’s Jewish community, deeply answers to those questions. We ask: How far will the cuts go? They say: How Yet this publicity seems insufficient the closure of Porters’ lodges - and their critical of his views. Did the ensuing long is a piece of string. We plead: Are you serious about selling York by the to whet the political appetite of students. not pussyfoot around other poor efforts on behalf of students - debate inspire and provoke; did it show- pound? They smirk: Where lies the bottom of the deep blue yonder. Hustings last week had few attendees. could result in even lower voting this case the freedom of speech we all enjoy? Let’s make something absolutely clear. We are not the only section of These events are intended to provide a the real issues’ time. YUSU should remember that stu- Sadly not. It was commendable to the University community shut out in the cold. From the SU, to your lectur- platform for candidates to promote their dents see it, like any union, as protecting see Ahron Cohen’s detractors ready to ers, to the cheerful dear who sells you tea and sandwiches at lunchtime, policies and visions for the coming year, no idea who SU President Rich Croker the interests of its members, rather than argue their case and not falling back on nobody is being informed and nobody is being consulted. Decision-making whilst receiving a thorough grilling from actually was. This led me to the conclu- pussyfooting around the real issues and any attempt at denying him a platform. is taking place in a vacuum, allowing for no comment, no scrutiny and no the audience. The pressure of these ques- sion that disinterest in the workings of pandering to management whims. But nobody seemed interested in an reply – not from us, not from you, and not from anyone else with a real stake tions penetrates the polished veneers of the SU is very much based upon a lack of Nonetheless, I remain optimistic. actual debate, least of all concerning the in where this campus is headed. the candidates’ perfected posters, and engagement between students and their The principal way in which students can actual topic of the talk. Denying the Why do we care? We’re in this for the duration, just like you are. We’re hands a clue to confused voters. Some Union. begin to appreciate and believe in their speaker’s credentials as a Rabbi hardly irrationally but powerfully fond of this place, and want to see it thrive. And, candidates revelled in it, proving them- No doubt you’re aware of the exten- Union is through heightened involve- convinced me that the existence of Israel most of all, we’re fundamentally unwilling to be sold short. If nothing else, selves worthier than their publicity sug- sive planning required for events such as ment in the political process. The major- is justified, nor was I particularly won we refuse to be told that we have no right to know what’s going on. gested. Others did not. Freshers’ Fortnight and the Summer ity of candidates appear to grasp this, over by the case that peace is good so However, the influence of these Ball, and thus recognise the masses of calling for more transparency in Union Israel and Palestine should stop fighting. events was undermined by the fact that work undertaken by the YUSU team. business and thus greater incentive to Constant shouts of “Question!” the audience numbered fewer than fifty The various welfare campaigns, includ- participate. YUSU also desperately needs Freddy, needless to say, wouldn’t be helping to elect the lovely Polly, belle of all Alcuin College. when audience members spoke under- Fire and brimstone people. The majority of these were either ing lobbying the University over reduced fresh blood to guarantee against more lined an inability to get to the point. No supporters of the candidates or current cooking facilities in colleges and the scandals like the Sex Bingo fiasco, in Cartoon by Sam Waddington real exchanges were had, points were Is it fair to judge a man by the company he keeps? Rabbi Aharon Cohen YUSU sabbatical members, plus three recent motion mandating YUSU to order that it might regain the respect directed toward people and passion was attended a conference in Tehran that was also graced by the likes of David drunk blokes who seemed blissfully enforce a policy of non-smoking at cam- that it deserves. If the Union wishes to be overcome by ill tempers. Angry Irving, the “historian” and holocaust denier. Is he guilty by association? unaware of the drama of student democ- pus events, also illustrate the significance honoured by us, the students, it must exchanges following the debate nearly This is not the place to debate the rights and wrongs of the two men’s racy being played out beneath their own of the Union in safeguarding our rights. remember its representative purpose and descended into playground politics. This positions. Such a fundamental difference of opinion is not the starting place alcohol-suffused nostrils. However, serious levels of apathy seek to reunite the members of all col- Putting the passion back in is not the way to fight your cause. for a reasonable discussion, as evidenced by the general lack of even-tem- The disappointing turnout begs two plague YUSU due to uncertainty about leges of this University, battling the While arguing over who was actual- peredness at the talk. questions: one of student apathy, and the the effect that they can have on the work- deathly grip of ignorance and apathy. ly representative of the Jewish communi- Instead, our concern is the fact that it took a firefight, precipitated by a Why are some students so reluctant to connect with politics? ty, there was no clash of ideas, no attempt stage-managed, bussed-in confrontation, to generate any heat. Two people at persuasion. Asserting authority with fundamental disagreements can shout at each other almost indefinitely achieves very little if you’re not willing to without achieving anything, save for boring the tears out of anyone unfortu- Recycle before you research paign is akin to a trendy fashion state- Supporters’ chain gang for reminding me back it up with some reasons. While I nate enough to be in earshot. This is what a lot of political debate is like. It’s Emily Cousins ment; campus-based Tory and Labour of my duty and conscience. However, did was pleased to see a large body of people also why a lot of people hate politics. Can’t we do a little better? societies are booming. I sign for the wrong reasons? argue for freedom of speech, it seemed a Academic navel-gazing isn’t enough to turn this University green Contributing Writer It would appear, however, that there There seems to be a reluctance shame that they chose to exercise this is often neither ideological affinity nor amongst some of us to get involved with right in such a way. Anger over Rabbi This isn’t to say that the research is their much-lauded green campus cre- genuine sincerity - only a desire to be any form of direct action, or to trouble Cohen speaking at an Iranian conference In praise of Ziggy’s unnecessary. It will undoubtedly be use- dentials. Yet it seems that our University indoctrinated into a vogue masquerad- ourselves with proactive, vocal gestures. about the holocaust was a moment Edward ful in combating climate change, but the is determined to tackle environmental ing as commitment and compassion. Many a YUSU motion has failed because which, worryingly, defined the talk. The Who ever knew you could love the feel of a stranger’s sweat-greased skin University should concentrate on cam- issues only academically, rather than by How much do we really know about the poor turnout at meetings has prevented Iranians didn’t censor the Rabbi himself, pressed against yours so well? The power ballad singalongs, the drunken fist- Russell-Johnson pus recycling, in addition to tackling the addressing the realities closer to home. During the joss stick-burning era of the causes we profess to support? Why do we motions from reaching quoracy and so he had little reason to complain. It fights, the falling over, the getting up again, and oh! the falling over. Again. Contributing Writer bigger picture. Although the Stockholm Campus recycling must be improved. 1960s and 70s the opportunity to partic- sacrifice our integrity and social respon- being ratified. Worse still, contrived par- seemed futile to bemoan the morality of The giddy, nauseous claustrophobia of it all; the drunken embraces that last Institute is self-funded, it still stands as a These are little things, but they could ipate in political protest was vast, and sibility in order to buy into the politics ticipation renders such crusades farcical. his overseas speech. Our commitment to moments, the piercing hangovers that last... for ever. Admit it: the first time testament to the University’s double make a big and immediate difference. seized by many young people desperate which is being marketed towards us? A nameless individual, from an freedom of speech is illustrated by coun- you stepped inside, you lost a little shred of your innocence that, try as you standard on environmental issues. So, what is to be done? The to make a difference to their world. I feel I must publicly shame and undisclosed College, attended a JCR tering arguments, not travel itineraries. might, you’ll never quite reclaim. As we all know, campus recycling University could utilise those it currently Marches and sit-ins were raw and chastise myself for an inexcusable act of open meeting last term in which 50 votes To move forward in our understand- Sometimes the only way to cope with the truly horrific is to look it square Alongside teaching, the purpose of a uni- provision is poor. Recycling bins are few employs for research to produce some sincere, and the black and white photos apathy I committed during the course of were needed to secure a new constitu- ing of the world, we have to stop enjoying in the eyes, jab a bony finger in its face, and ask it what it has on under that versity is research. During the last few and far between, with no effective system solutions to the campus environmental of Kumbaya sing-alongs have become writing this article. Hurrying across tion. Upon being 20 hands-in-the-air freedom and start using speech. We can’t grubby old overcoat. Strike a Faustian pact, and walk without fear through years, many highly-publicised pieces of in place. It currently relies upon a small situation. If there were genuine support iconic and legendary. ‘Genuine concern campus, late for a lecture, I was stopped short of a democratic conclusion, indi- engage with ideas until reasoned argu- the shadow of the valley of death without fear of physical harm, emotional environmental research have emerged group of volunteers, many of whom don’t and recognition for the college Eco Reps, for genuine issues,’ the retrospective tag viduals were sent to round up house- ment and debate overtake symbolism scarring, or permanent hearing loss. from York’s hallowed departments. reach all areas of every college. To add they would become far more efficient. line could read. Sadly, the majority of mates in order to boost numbers - a and show. It’s about time that student So it was that we sent our most intrepid reporter, along with our very However, when one considers the press- insult to injury, the University is paid to Perhaps the University could even use its contemporary students have lost this ‘How much do we political charade. Can elected committee politics focused not on opposing, but bravest guerrilla photographer, on a perilous mission to the very depths of ing issue of campus environmental facil- do this recycling, and the students see recycling money to employ professionals feistiness and with it, the willingness to officials really be chided for this though, proposing. Don’t protest at debates; take the student netherworld: halfway up Mickelgate, nigh on midnight, on a ities, discrepancies become apparent. none of this money. Eco Reps often lack to help with the job. protect issues formerly fought for with a really know about the if we are not prepared to engage with and part. Conflict isn’t a cold war. The real Wednesday night in February. They were dispatched sober, curious, and with The Stockholm Environment the money to buy a pair of rubber gloves. These small changes would passionate zeal. support them as we should? battle of concepts can only be won by a a solemn promise ringing in their ears: that if they didn’t blow the gaff wide Institute, a global organisation with a Perhaps the problem is one of pay- undoubtedly bring major improvements. As a society we are increasingly causes we profess to It is the student body who has the willingness to engage with others in the open, we’d never let them in our sights again. major centre in York, is devoted to eco- offs. The Institute’s latest report into the An organised, well-funded recycling pro- plagued by consumerism, and it would power to change this. Let’s put the pas- first place. After all, this is the service we provide to you. Never mind that you could research. It seems curious that the attitudes of the over-50s towards climate gramme would be considerably more seem that our approach to politics is support?’ sion back into politics. We need to fully The meeting had its positives. It trace the outline of the dancefloor with the tip of your pinprick stiletto. Never University should place such emphasis change earned the University both pub- efficient than the current slapdash becoming similarly tainted by attention integrate ourselves into issues that are of showed that students aren’t as turned off mind that you tread those rickety stairs sometimes in your very dreams. on this research and fail to match it with licity and academic prestige, two things arrangements. Indeed, why should it to the material in life. The rise in issue- by a human barrier petitioning for signa- personal interest. Lots of student-run by politics as some people think and that We’ve got old man Ziggy for you, right here. He’s in his ancient piss-stained action on the ground. Some of York’s all universities desire. Surely a mundane stop there? If the University truly wishes based voting means that politics is tures to save the porters. I gave a knee- political groups and individuals on cam- freedom of speech is alive and well at undies and his tangled string vest, and there’s something he’d like to show finest minds are focusing on crucial eco- issue like campus environmental facili- to gain prestige, it should concentrate on increasingly based around what politi- jerk answer, half-heartedly mumbled my pus do a fantastic job of highlighting York. Let’s take the obvious interest and you. No really, it’s all right: you don’t have to thank us. Have a peek. And logical research but little thought is given ties wouldn’t bring similar accolades? all aspects of environmental sustainabil- cians can offer us in order to make our tardiness, and scurried along. Consumed plights that deserve our attention. We the open forum and use it for real debate. don’t worry if you think a little less of yourself afterwards. Ziggy will love you to campus recycling, as YUSU’s Policy Wrong. Institutions such as the ity. Its profile would rise, and campus lives easier, rather than representing our with guilt, I resolved to return and add should support them and get involved. A lot more work needs to be done before just the same. and Campaigns Officer, Grace Fletcher- University of Hertfordshire have already would become an efficient and eco- principles and governing accordingly. my signature to the list, which I did. So, I Let’s be aware. Let’s listen. Let’s partici- we can truly say that student politics is fit Hall has pointed out. gained significant attention through friendly place to live. Supporting a particular party or cam- would like to thank the Porter pate. for purpose. >> JOHN BANVILLE M4-5 >> THE REAL ZIGGY’S M12-13 SPRING WEEK NINE We chat to the Booker-winning author The dirt on York’s biggest student night Tuesday March 6 2007 MUSE

Baby blues: the lives of student mothers M4-5 M2 Columns 06/03/07 Muse 06.03.07 NanFlory Balancing babies, buggies and books >> M4 Jo Shelley meets some student parents and finds out how they cope Notorious B.I.G and I: Meeting John Banville >> M10 like butter and toast The Booker-winning novelist and his alter ego talk to Sara Sayeed

miss believing that some thought process was something hoes and machine gun funks are people know everything. like: ‘She knows everything, I ironic. Really a ‘special’ relationship? >> M8 I’ve never been religious can’t touch her, what difference It’s like when my brother An American and a Brit share their Ibut I did, in my youth, have does it make to the human and I met Dizzee Rascal. We complete faith in certain peo- equivalent of the best computer were at a festival in Norway and experiences of pond-hopping ple’s unwavering correctness. ever if I think she’s a bit large?’ I bumped into/stalked him at a My Dad, for example. Until at was such a little shit, I now bar. We thought we’d bond with least the age of seven, if I had realise. I just sort of said “You’re the real Dizzee, discuss the self- any questions about life, the uni- quite fat, aren’t you, Miss?” And reflexivity of his work and shit. The price of verse and anything, I never then I walked off. No no no, it turns out. I said “So, doubted that not only would my Anyway, the reason I’m we loved your show” – note the beauty? >> M7 Dad be able to answer them, but nostalgically longing for those usage of ‘show’ here; show, not he’d do so correctly too. The childhood days when the reality, I thought. Naïve little We chat to a London meanings of words, maths prob- answers to everything were just rich girl – “how do you like Fashion Week model lems, moral dilemmas - the questions away is because at the Norway?” about ‘size zero’ answers all lay in wait. moment I’m preoccupied with “I like the wimmin innit,” Occasionally, if you asked trying to justify my gangsta rap he said. And then he looked him at the wrong time, my Dad habit. It’s really difficult. I espe- down my top. I was so sad. would pretend not to know cially love Notorious. All those Now, if I had come across things, but I always knew he was guys who say Tupac was better Notorious at age seven - before Sober at Ziggy’s just bluffing because he couldn’t are just silly. Tupac was lame I’d become disillusioned by see- Nicky Woolf >> M12 be bothered to listen to what I and took himself far too serious- ing Miss Swan parking her car joins the team was asking. I still remember ly. Did he ever let little kids imi- in the disabled space and I’d really specific stuff that I learnt tate him in his videos? No no no, realised that my Dad makes a lot behind the scenes at York’s from him. Like what ‘in fact’ he was all ‘Look at me, look at of things up out of thin air and most notorious student night means. He told me that. I was meeee!’ Loser. Anyway, then pretends to have read them reading a Mr Men book and it Notorious. So, he’s a dude right? somewhere - I would not be in came up. I think it was Mr. Awesome at making things this sticky situation. I would Tickle: ‘In fact, Mr. Tickle’s arms you’d never expect to rhyme go have just asked either of them: Arts: Fusion, Blame and B&R: We take you through were so long, he could reach all together, like ‘how’ and ‘cow’. “Guys, is it ok to be misogynistic, the way to town’ etc. Sweet, For example, ‘birthday’ and glamorise gun violence and African Snow >> M18 York’s array of fudge >> M23 right? ‘thirs-tay’ – who knew! drugs, promote materialism and I had similar faith in some I’m not dumb, it’s not that I gang culture?” They would both Music: The Young Knives Listings: YUSU Elections of my primary school teachers. I don’t know that he raps really have said, “No. You can’t have had one called Miss Swan who I ridiculous things. I’m just over- that CD and nor may you like it.” and Regina Spektor >> M20 and Hilary Benn >> M24 thought was infallible. I don’t privileged and so feel distanced I would have said “OK then,” think she enjoyed it all too enough to laugh instead of cry. and that would have been that. Film: The British Film Science: Stem cells: giving much. I once asked her what It’s terrible really. A symbol of No guilty pleasure at the sheer ‘orgy’ meant – to her credit she bourgeois limp moral standing. joy which ‘Honeys play me close industry revived >> M22 hope for a cure? >>M9 calmly replied, “lots of people I feel bad. Sort of. I try. But he like butter plays toast’ inspires. having sexual intercourse all at says it so funky! I’m the worst Back when I believed my elders once” – and once I inadvertently kind of rich kid ever. I’m so blindly, I didn’t have to think called her fat. I think my smug that I think bitches and about this stuff. I hate thinking

pus and seeing someone else in the same t- upon by cynical businessmen, you are BenTattersallSmith shirt as you. Let’s face it: this is York, with pretty much guaranteed that the designs shopping options for guys pretty much are going to look good on your chest. In To ditch or not to ditch my iPod? limited to Topman and H&M. I can just fact, I can tell you from personal experi- about guarantee that if it hasn’t already ence that they certainly don’t take any old et’s just get one thing clear: I love my For all my cynicism towards happened to you, it undoubtedly will dur- tat. In a moment of rather gross self-delu- iPod. I’ve had it well over a year now Microsoft, the videos have definitely been ing your York career. sion, I thought that I would enter a design L- longer than any romantic relation- made by creatives with a passion for music Fear not though, trendy young boys of my own and easily walk away with the ship I’ve ever been in and it’s arguably and a slightly leftfield sense of humour. My and girls of York, the internet may just be cash prize awarded to successful designs. given me as much pleasure - so I don’t personal favourite is ‘two little birds’, your salvation. Threadless (www.thread- While I did get a few words of positive intend to part company with it in the fore- which involves one bird passing a song on less.com) is a community website where feedback from other users, my design was seeable future. Late last year, however, saw to another telepathically and then the sec- aspiring designers submit their ideas for t- resoundingly rejected by the community at the arrival of what could be the closet ond bird going absolutely crazy and spon- shirts to be voted on by the user communi- large, scoring a poor 2.1 out of 5. That’s thing to a rival for the iPod: the Microsoft taneously combusting before, like the ty at large, with the highest ranking democracy for you though, and having just Zune. phoenix, being reborn anew from the designs being made and sold on the web- a couple of nice comments from the While most of the online reviews for ashes. For me, the video captures the site for very reasonable prices (usually unwashed online masses still made my the Zune seem to be fairly negative, the excitement of hearing a life-changing song ranging from £10- £20). With so many day. online promotional campaign has been for the first time. Other promos feature different people contributing designs, So if you want to stand out from the second to none. The boys at Microsoft have Lily Allen and Regina Specktor and can be Threadless offers a great selection of crowd then definitely check out Threadless commissioned a number of animations checked out at www.zune-arts.net. unique tees, ranging from the poignant to and stock up on some trendy new t-shirts and other pieces of art work based around On a different note, few things are the hilarious, and because t-shirts are – whatever you do though, just don’t buy the Zune’s slogan, ‘Welcome to the Social’. more annoying than walking around cam- voted on by users rather than decided the same one as me. 06/03/07 Columns M3

The world’s gone mad Stories you might have missed

The All-England Hopping Competition was forced to wind up early after a brilliantly executed two-prong attack from the Scottish Sports Council and the Health and Safety Executive. First, the former held a press conference at the event, in which they protested that “not enough talent from north of the bor- der has been recognised.” Apparently the Scots have been practising hopping for years. “How do you think Alex Salmond got to the top?” asked the Council’s John Blain at the conference. Just as reporters were contemplating this unexpected question, the organisers announced that the Competition would be abandoned because the HSE had identified ‘major risks’ in its ‘preliminary assessment of the venue.’ When pressed for more details, the HSE responded: “someone might fall over.”

Poor old Rion Sakchu of Malawi was always being teased by his fellow workers at the Lilongwe Calculators factory about his looks. “We used to call him face ugly rubber skin,” said Den Pagam, one of the bullies. It all became too much for Mr Sakchu, who decided to perform amateur corrective surgery on himself, using a buzzsaw. During the delicate operation, Mr Sakchu’s cat (whose name was Noo Noo) fell off a shelf and landed on the saw, causing the would-be self-surgeon to slip and sever his left leg. He still works at Lilongwe Calculators but, says Mr Pagam, “we now call him Stumpy Sawlegs.” mullet and be all like, “Well, Happily, Mr Sakchu told the workers’ magazine that he was actually I’m quoting Hasselhoff beginning to see the funny side. Which is more than can be in a sardonic way.” If you’re Airing my dirtiest laundry said for Noo Noo, who was killed in the accident. sporting a mullet, as my friend Paul says, “It is never ironic, ow weird is too weird? Well, perhaps. Well, who am I to talk? I did A contestant from Channel 4’s never-interesting Countdown only moronic. Irony is a privi- firstly, let me appeal to that spend an evening making up new has taken an appeal to the High Court after he was allegedly lege that takes effort, not some- Hgreat literary thinker James verses to the diarrhoea song. The pin- denied victory for proposing the word ‘gobshite’ in the crucial thing to play with willy nilly in Joyce. He had this to say: “The small- nacle of our success was: final letters game. “When I said the word, the producers a ludicrously short-sided long- est things give me a great cockstand - When you’re starting to feel stopped the show and said we’d have to start the game again,” backed way.” I’m just going to a whorish movement of your mouth, a moist, said Ernest Tanning of Cromer. His opponent triumphed in have to admit that I really like little brown stain on the seat of your And you’re thinking like James the replay. Tanning has pointed out that the word is in the some grime and gangsta rap. white drawers, a sudden dirty word Joyce Oxford English Dictionary, but asserts that his grievance runs The fact that it doesn’t fit in spluttered out by your wet lips, a sud- Diarrhoea! Diarrhoea! deeper than that. “What I object to is that the producers have with my super-enlightened lit- den immodest noise made by your Clearly, there is a compulsion to talk made me out to be some sort of foulmouth,” Mr Tanning said. erature student image of myself behind and then a bad smell slowly about the illicit in public; I am living “They’re a bunch of wankers,” he added, with an admirable is something I’m going to have curling up out of your backside.” testament. The smell of that evening lack of irony. to live with, honestly, in a non- You’d be surprised what happens still leaves a sour taste between my ironic way. between the sheets of closed books. ‘wet lips’. But that was okay because David Bryant of Osterley has decided to enlist pupils for his I bought the censored ver- Now, I don’t want to put Joyce on a we distanced ourselves, making a joke newly-founded College of Slapstick Comedy by running sion of Notorious’s greatest hits pedestal, but he does apply ‘belles-let- of things that we were secretly delight- around throwing custard pies at people. Unfortunately, he tar- recently. I think that’s a good tres’ to fart-sniffing. Well, perhaps ed to voice. geted 76-year-old widow Norma Keedy, whose vision was first step. It’s like starring out Joyce voices the desires of more peo- Be true to yourself and your momentarily blurred by the lactose contained in the pie. letters in swear-words; ple than we’d care to think. desire to air your dirty laundry. Weird Momentarily, that is, but long enough for Mrs Keedy to fall although they’re not with us, The point is that it becomes is fine. Just don’t commit it to paper down a workmen’s hole. She suffered only minor cuts and we know that they’re there in uncomfortable when it’s all out in the because, as Joyce now knows, it will bruises, but onlookers said she looked ‘obviously distressed’ spirit. open, upwind of the general public. A come back to bite you; sensuously, when Mr Bryant re-appeared with a plank of wood and pro- RIP Blud. new reason for a ‘Room of One’s Own’ between the frills. ceeded to swivel round several times, repeatedly knocking Mrs Keedy from her feet.

I resolved that he would be my older workplace liaisons, he announced it shocking level of sexual deprivation Going down to man and lured him to the bar after was his birthday. The big 4-0 no less. at York. After an hour of torrid pas- the shift for a few introductory His wife was away, so he was all sion we lay three-abreast in a single Tuna Town drinks. Much to my dismay, I discov- mine. We went for a stylish dinner bed with a post-coital cigarette, ered that he was married with two and a few rounds of cocktails, before when my married man’s wife rang. n my last column, I promised a irritatingly bright-eyed and bushy- I ushered him back to my halls. It Hearing him address her as foray into the world of older tailed children. It occurred to me, was in the cab that I realised I hadn’t ‘sweetheart’ and express his excite- Imen and possibly women and, however, that a married man might come up with the sort of extravagant ment about Paris, I felt a befud- true to my word, I have much to not make such an unsuitable lover. gift he was probably accustomed to. dling pang of guilt and envy. Had I report. After spending far too much There would be none of the commit- His wife had got him a trip to Paris, made a grave mistake in encourag- of my student loan pursuing abortive ment, the insecurity, the inexperi- so I thought the standard trip to tuna ing him to deviate from 15 years of relationships with ineffectual under- enced fumbling of the young and town I had planned might not cut the matrimonial monogamy? Despite graduates, I decided to get a job unattached man. Lo and proverbial mustard. Something extra my current promiscuity, even I working as a waitress (in a behold, after a few glasses of was needed. We got back to halls to have pretensions to nuptial bliss, cocktail bar, of course). finest red he was pouring out find the cleaner working late, scrub- and you can be damned sure I On arriving at my first a catalogue of marital dys- bing away at a piece of old piping. It wouldn’t tolerate some little tart shift, I was titillated to dis- functions to me, or rather occurred to me, in a flash of lustful and her cleaner meddling in my cover I would be working to my cleavage. And the genius, that the perfect present for a marriage. For the moment, howev- under a gentleman who, rest is history. long-fettered married man was a er, I was too comfortably nestled though advanced of After a few double parking space in tuna town. between two post-coital frames to years, was of rather weeks of wining, Sheila’s eagerness to tumble into address the question. Perhaps dashing appearance. dining and illicit bed, apron and all, testifies to the that’s one for the next column. M4 In-depth 06/03/07

Single parents at university often find it a struggle to balance their babies with their books. Jo Shelley meets the women in York who are juggling two full-time jobs Here’s looking at you, kid

eading a Guardian headline ting on benefits by yourself. And also last week – a smiling, chubby I’d always been expected to go to uni- toddler next to the words versity, so I thought I should go - for R‘Why having one of these is want of a better plan, really.” the worst career move a woman can Rose speaks about the process of make’ – after getting past the un-PC applying to university with a certain overtones, I had to admit there seemed emotional detachment, but it’s been a to be some degree of truth in it. Having long struggle for her to get here. With a baby pretty much signals the end of only a ‘D’ grade in Maths from her A- things, right? We, the Cosmopolitan levels, she enrolled at the Open generation, believe that women can University to take a further course in have it all. Yet we still assume that the subject. “I was working from home members of our female faction must and Charlotte wasn’t in nursery. So I follow the correct procedure to collect was exhausted, up until half five in the their due – and giving birth to a little morning to get my assignments done.” one comes right at the end of the lad- The course, as well as Rose’s daily work der that takes you from school, to uni- routine, was a compromise of mother- versity, to a job and then to marriage (if hood; once she had hoped to study you choose to err on the side of tradi- Music, now the plan is to become a tional). Unless you’re Anna Wintour or Maths teacher. “I always wanted to Kate Winslet, the act of procreation in teach. I never wanted to do Maths, but lieu of a ‘career move’ is today seen as I am now, so…” She trails off. an obstacle to progression towards the For Rose, unlike many of the 18 to peak of modern womanhood. 20-year-olds that arrived in York last But what about the ordinary peo- September, university is her key to a ple who don’t just finish up with a kid new future; not one unlocking a world but get the work/homemaking trajec- of independence and glorious hedo- tory the ‘wrong’ way around? And what nism, but one releasing her from the about the women who have babies “terrible, horrible” area of Newcastle before even arriving at what is sup- that she grew up in and offering her a For single posed to be one of the first steps to a means of fulfilling the all-important parents, career: university? responsibility she now has for her looking after a When asked about her life pre- daughter. “I just know that I appreciate child is a full- motherhood, Rose Howd drifts back a everything that I have more than I time job few years and admits, somewhat would’ve done,” she responds when sheepishly, that even at 18 she wasn’t asked how her outlook on university is degree, a baby and a fledgling social looking to become a high achiever. “I different from how it may have been at life, is a somewhat, if not entirely, delu- didn’t really think about things before I 18. “And everything revolves around ‘For Rose, trying to have it all - sional endeavour. had her,” she says, referring to her four- her now, obviously. I don’t have any- The irony is that, in Rose’s case, year-old daughter Charlotte. “It was thing for myself anymore.” when ‘all’ includes a degree, hers needn’t be so difficult, or at least just like, I have to go to school, A-levels After the pains of childbirth and so lonely, an experience. Like other are better than working, and I’ll just go the trials of being a single, studying baby and fledgling social life - higher education insitutions, York to university because that’s what you mother, coming to the University doesn’t make available records of the do.” The option of continuing her stud- should’ve offered Rose a measure of is a delusional endeavour’ number of its students with depend- ies beyond sixth form, however, was relief. But for a young woman who ents. Existing statistics, however, soon crossed off Rose’s checklist. In her admits that the straightforward route parenting at university. It can’t have colour the area a very vague shade of final year of secondary school, she got she was once taking is “all messed been an enticing prospect, and out of grey, suggesting Rose is one of a size- pregnant and everybody – including around now”, it’s not that simple. The the 13 students who have children at able group of parents who have come herself – seemed to think that this reference to a shift in focus from ‘me, the nursery, she is the only one to have to the University. There may only be 13 effectively halted her academic jour- me, me’ to ‘her, her, her’ suggests par- replied. But despite the slight awk- students with children at the campus ney. “My dad had always wanted me to enthood has not only given Rose a dif- wardness when we’re chatting about nursery, but the Student Financial go to university, but even he thought I’d ferent outlook on student life, but what must be the tedious details of Support Unit granted 26 Parents’ give up on it now I had a child,” she means that she experiences it in a motherhood, she seems nervously Awards in the last academic year – and says, shrugging. “And I thought my life strangely parallel universe. Five eager, rather than reluctant, to talk. as the Unit’s manager, Sharmila Gohil, had ended, to be honest. I didn’t want months into a three-year course, and “It takes me about an hour to get said, “at best this can only indicate the a child at all. I thought that I was just Rose is working all the hours of a sci- here in the morning and an hour to get minimum number of student parents.” going to have to sit in my house on my ence degree; but instead of then pursu- back on buses. I don’t have any family The figures from the Accommodation own, forever.” ing an extra-curricular interest or here, I don’t know anyone, I don’t have Office are more enlightening: the Today, perched on the edge of a socialising with friends, she’s going a social life at all,” she laughs. “But I'm University owns or has nomination seat in Langwith bar at the University home to Charlotte. Orchestra practice that tired it doesn’t matter, to be hon- rights on more than 50 family houses; where she is now a first-year is an evening activity (it’s been four est! It’s just a case of getting here, all of these are taken and there are cur- Mathematics student, Rose can reflect years since she’s picked up her trumpet, doing work, going home and sleeping, rently 35 students on the waiting list. on the initial terror she felt facing anyway) and friendships, partly really - I’ve never been on a night out The difficulty for parents – espe- motherhood. It seems that she needed because the mother-daughter pair because I have no-one to watch cially those, like Rose, who are young to take a significant mental leap to aren’t in halls, have never gone beyond Charlotte. But I do sit and have coffee and single – is that there is currently no even reconsider the prospect of apply- coffee in a study break. In the suffocat- with people. I would like to have the easy way for them to get in contact ing to university. Talking about how ingly close quarters of York, Rose feels option to socialise a bit more… but with one another and no official sup- she had initially intended to support “cut off” from the rest of the student then,” as she puts it bluntly, “you always port network that they can rely on. At Charlotte, she says, “when I couldn’t populace. want what you can’t have.” one point, a student-run Student get a decent job I just thought, I may as I meet her after putting up a In Rose’s mind, it seems, the snags Families Association provided the vital well start university - I don’t want to notice in the campus nursery asking to in the old feminist mantra of ‘having it means of connecting them but now, have a life where I’m scrimping and speak to any students who would be all’ have been torn wide open: strug- according to the Students’ Union saving for everything. It’s terrible sit- willing to share their experiences of gling for ‘all’, when ‘all’ would include a Welfare Officer Amy Foxton, because 06/03/07 In-depth M5

of financial and staffing issues, this has main thing I was looking forward to at Student nership with RAG and Student Action versities, there is no one whose job it is all but “faded into oblivion.” This year, university was meeting other people, mothers mixing to encourage families to get involved to deal with the welfare issues specific no freshers with children have been learning new things and time to myself study with with child-friendly charity events. It’s a to those who have children. able to secure a place in the to feel like me, rather than a parent,” student-led initiative and Sarah, with At the University of Cambridge, University’s family accommodation she says. “I think I’m disappointed in child’s play. the backing of YUSU, believes it could there is not only a student-run Family and so they must rent property off the whole experience of university now, Photos: Georgi make a real impact on the lives of par- Society, but a designated University campus – far from the intense social mainly because I haven’t been able to Mabee ents. Besides, as she states “even if Childcare Advisor who maintains an networking experience of their child- take part in many activities. It’s been an you’re just improving one student’s life, online guide for student parents and less, college-bound counterparts. isolating experience - and it really gets then it’s worth it.” sends out weekly bulletins with child- These parents don’t have access to the you down when you’ve got no one to Nevertheless, there is definitely related information. Of the people I details of other freshers who have talk to who’s going through the same room for expansion. For bigger ideas, spoke to in the Finance, Welfare and found themselves in a similar position kind of thing.” Sarah and YUSU need only to look 30 Accommodation offices, because of and no-one – either at the University or The proposal for the Student miles eastward to the University of “data protection issues”, nobody even on YUSU – has representing the inter- Family Network, marked out on a Leeds, where the Union’s Women’s seemed to have a clear idea of how ests of the collective in their job colourful Word document taken to Officer has just opened an online many student parents they were deal- description. As Foxton admits, YUSU President Rich Croker two forum for student parents and runs ing with. “Provision for student parents has kind twice weekly ‘Stay and Play’ sessions to And there are issues on which stu- of slipped by the radar… and the prob- help parents meet each other. The dent parents do need representing; lem is that obviously all student par- problem for YUSU, according to from campus nursery opening hours (it ents are going to be really busy because Foxton, is that it is limited in what it shuts fifteen minutes before the official they’ve got children, so they’re not able can do. “The way things work at York,” University day is over) to the lack of to give up as much time to ‘fight their she explains, “is that generally the accommodation. The Accommodation corner’, as it were. That’s where we University seems happier to provide Office operates a waiting list policy, need to step in.” welfare assistance and perhaps doesn’t which, it says, is “the fairest way” of Offering YUSU a hand into the give the Union the amount of financial allocating family residences. However, ring is Sarah Metcalfe, 27, a Sociology backing we’d need to do as much [for because demand far outstrips supply, undergraduate and single parent to student parents] as we’d like to.” She this means that freshers find them- five-year-old Jack. She has recently cites Leeds as an example of where the selves looking for a place to rent off approached the Union about setting up reverse is true. “It’s something that the campus and then move onto campus in a new Student Family Network and University needs to look into.” their second or third year. As to establishing it as a society that works The University might prefer to whether there will be more family with the Union to develop a support take care of students’ welfare assis- accommodation on Heslington East, network for student families and “Provision for student parents tance, but its provision for student par- the official line is that “the University encourage their integration into cam- ents is, in general, restricted to that will continue to review the position pus life. This, she believes, would not has slipped by the radar, and offered to all non-parenting students. and to seek ways to add to our provi- only benefit current student parents, Its main strength, to date, seems to be sion. At the moment, we have not put but also the University and communi- obviously they don’t have the in providing financial assistance: on any numbers on this possibility.” ty at large, by making it clear that top of the loans that all students have The benefits of this and other “coming to university is possible time to fight their corner” access to, and the Parents’ Learning areas of possible future development regardless of a person’s social or eco- Allowance (course-related costs) and won’t be felt by Sarah and Rose. For nomic position.” weeks ago, sketches out plans for a sin- Childcare Grant from their Local them, the benefits of having a universi- Sarah’s experience of university gle parent support group, a school Education Authority, students with ty education must suffice. As Sarah life is akin to that of Rose, but her drop-off and pick-up scheme – which dependents at York are also offered an says, despite the difficulties of the pres- assessment of York, a university that would enable parents to stay at lectures annual Parents’ Award and prioritised ent, “I’ve got much more hope for the claims it is committed to widening par- or society activities past the 6pm after- for the University’s Access to Learning future now, knowing that I’m going to ticipation, is more damming: “The school club cut-off point – and a part- Fund. However, unlike many other uni- provide a good lifestyle for my son.” M6 Food 06/03/07 Pass the chickpeas, please How would the average student cope without bacon sandwiches, cheese toasties and Efe’s pizza? Jenny O’Mahony embarks on a week as a tofu-munching vegan

or the last week, I have lived as one of Britain’s 800 000 vegans, eschewing meat, gelatin, dairy Fproducts, honey, fish and eggs. I envisaged a week of immense gastro- envy, growling at diners in the Charles, violently attacking people outside MilkShack and ultimately eating my own arm in a frenzy of meat withdraw- al. Those staples of the student diet such as bacon sandwiches and almost the entire menu of Efe’s would be out of bounds; I faced a formidable task. I prepared for my first day by pur- chasing some Alpro Soya Milk, and working out what I could eat with ingredients I already had. My Shreddies tasted inexplicably sweet, which I later realised was due to the soya milk, and my first experience of soya in coffee was quickly established as my last. It fizzed and frothed on the surface and left a bitter aftertaste similar to vomit. The rest of the first day was com- paratively normal: a jacket potato with baked beans for lunch and a vegetable stirfry with brown rice for dinner. I wanted noodles, but realised they contained egg; however, this was only a minor annoyance. The first day left me smugly satisfied with the comparative ease with which I had altered my eating habits and, after the revelation that I could still eat peanut butter, I slept a contented slumber. Jenny ters of the menu are immediately try, whilst my usual port of call, the BBC my resolution never to drink coffee with My saintly image was soon shat- O’Mahony unavailable to vegans and, given the Food website, proved disappointing, soya, the other disappointment of the tered. The next morning as I was eating surveys her Italian preference for meaty sauces and with very few vegan recipes at all and week was provided by Starbucks, whose toast with Flora Light, my flatmate carbonara, the pasta is likely to be unac- certainly nothing appealing. Following mocha with soya milk was caustic, pointed out Flora contains buttermilk. I somewhat ceptable as well. my Alligator trip, I concoted a lentil, hideously sweet, and, as per usual, cold. replied, “What? But it’s called Flora! limited dietary By midweek, I realised my food potato, carrot and onion soup with a My week as a vegan revealed how Like vegetables!” I had truly believed options. Photo: supplies were running dangerously low hint of curry. This was by far my best hard it is to live on such a diet. Cooking that margarine contained no dairy. Rachel and embarked on a journey to Alligator, effort: tasty and incorporating lentils in had to be re-learned, eating out was That night I ate out in Orgasmic. Holloway the organic food store specialising in a whole new way, despite its discourag- severely restricted and my shopping Scanning the menu before we entered, I vegetarian and vegan foods on Fossgate. ingly chunky-brown slime appearance. basket and the places where I filled it saw nothing for a vegan. Eventually, Strange roots were laid out in the win- Not to be defeated, I held my head high metamorphosed. I found myself drown- from a list of around 40 different items, dow and an entire wall of rice and oat- and gobbled it up, thinking at least I ing in lentil tins, packets of dried pulses I selected a tomato and mushroom cakes beckoned to me. Not wanting to was doing my body a favour. and mountains of dried fruit. In terms risotto, which I was assured fell under appear ignorant, I hid by a secluded My next couple of efforts, a chick- of health, I felt slightly tired for the first the vegan category. That was the only lentil shelf and tried to make sense of pea curry and a tofu and rice casserole, couple of days but subsequently (quite possibility, however, bar the mixed leaf the different types - dried to split, red to were mediocre at best, at worst almost literally) full of beans. green, canned to bagged, and so on. inedible. I didn’t cook the chickpeas I have become very attached to Eventually, after much delibera- enough so they cracked in my teeth, and lentils and dried fruit, the latter falling ‘Dried peaches and prunes do tion and comparison with mung beans the tofu I tried was abominable. My victim to an image problem (in my (I just liked the name), I selected a tin friend, a vegetarian of a few years, opinion). Just because dried peaches look like deformed animal of green lentils in brine, grabbed some described the taste of tofu as, ironically and prunes look like deformed animal chickpeas and scurried over to the more enough, pork fat. It is flabby, flaccid and droppings, this should be ignored in droppings - but they are an familiar realm of dried fruit. inexplicably fatty, never a winning com- favour of the taste of this incomparably I would heartily recommend bination, and managed to permeate the healthy snack. Finally, my bowels have incomparably healthy snack’ Alligator, simply because they have the rest of the casserole, rendering the never been more active, something I kind of unique products you will not entire thing a mess. All in all, my culi- was glad to leave behind; even if my find anywhere else. The healthcare sec- nary experiments could safely be waistband did feel looser towards the salad, the prospect of which sounded so tion, for example, includes organic described as failures, though I do have a end of the week. I have a certain admi- sparse and anaemic it depressed me. toothpaste, washing-up liquid and even new-found fondness for lentils. ration for full-time vegans, but person- When my food arrived topped with tampons. The dates and olives are the One of the most irritating episodes ally I have little moral conscience on the cheese, I sighed the long-suffering sigh best in York. I also picked up tofu and of my week came on Shrove Tuesday. I topic of consuming meat. of a food martyr and scraped it off. As my greatest find yet: vegan chocolate. hosted the annual Nouse Pancake and The appeal of the vegan lifestyle for my friends gorged on prawns and chick- Green & Blacks 70% Cocoa became a Punch Social, yet could not eat a single me is the choice of foods that all too en, I picked at the accompanying bread sugar lifeline during my time as a vegan deliciously browned, smothered-in- often go untested, plus the health bene- and stared longingly at the pizza oven. and when yet another apple just would- chocolate pancake. I settled instead for fits of a diet with no cholesterol and How difficult it must be for a n’t cut it, I reached for the 70%. the limp and pale results of my vegan very little saturated fat. I will continue vegan, even a vegetarian, to eat out. In Good recipes were harder to find. mixture. Made of soya milk and flour, it to eat vegan dishes every so often, but the average Italian restaurant, for Websites like www.earth.li/~kake/cook- was bland and refused to crisp properly the steak and cheese sandwich I wolfed example, the main course is typically ery/recipes and www.veganfamily.co.uk in the pan, as the few others who tried it down at 12:01am after my last night pizza, pasta, meat or fish. Three-quar- /kitchen provided a massive selection to out of curiosity will testify. Forgetting speaks for itself. 06/03/07 Fashion M7 Facing the demands of beauty

As the size zero debate rages on, Ellen Carpenter speaks to one catwalk model about her experience during London Fashion Week and her perspective on the industry

he usual debates surrounding agency at all. I’m one of the bigger girls Esme Addison London Fashion Week – there, I have 36” hips, but that doesn’t modelled for cinched belts or dropwaists? make me want to be that skinny. I TPuffball or trapeze skirts? – sometimes feel I’m too skinny now.” Biba,Giles and have this year been submerged beneath However, she admitted the model Marc Jacobs a weightier set of issues: does the fash- lifestyle isn’t always conducive to during London ion industry encourage the spread of healthy eating, saying, “Models may not Fashion Week eating disorders? Are the nation’s have time for breakfast in the morning teenagers being dangerously manipu- because their show calling time could believes the current cohort of Fashion and raising the self-esteem of teenagers lated by media images of stick-thin be 7am so they have to eat a cereal bar Week models is largely self-selected: is not to privilege any one body-type models sashaying down London’s cat- on the go. Or they just have no free time “The agency doesn’t scout skinny girls; over another, but to ensure that ideas of walks? Moreover, are the models between castings to fit in a proper meal. most models approach the agency, beauty encompass all? involved in the events themselves at If it hadn't been for my mum buying me rather than the other way round.” Esme This is not to suggest that models risk? a sandwich every day before I got in the herself was approached while shopping starving themselves on lettuce should The long-running debate as to the car I would only have snacked on bis- on Oxford Street and, being “one of the be allowed on the catwalk, as much for impact of media representations of cuits and sweets.” bigger girls”, perhaps this theory holds their own well-being as for their effect beauty on young girls’ self-perception Even with the wide availability of true. on others. However, for those girls who food, the organizations behind London For the many young girls with hips are naturally skinny, being told that Fashion Week are not necessarily con- considerably larger than 36” and only women with large busts and hips ‘I’m actually among cerned with ensuring the models stay without a modelling contract to are ‘womanly’ or ‘sexy’ is just as damag- healthy during the grueling schedule confirm their beauty, however, the ing to their self-perception. Esme also the bigger girls, but the event entails. Evidently, the fact that the modelling agencies felt it would be entirely unfair if she BFC’s guidelines on the well- may not have consciously picked were excluded from a show due to her it doesn’t make me being and age of models are eas- tiny models would hold little size. ily discarded in the whirlwind of consolation. That it appears to be Perhaps the most pressing ques- want to be skinnier. fitting sessions, hairspray and overwhelmingly thin girls with tion, more than the diffuse and debated designers’ demands. the confidence to approach effect of catwalk models on teenage I’m too thin already’ Despite assuring me that “I model agencies attests to the girls’ self-perception, is the well-being never came across anyone I spread of perceptions of the of the models themselves. With models thought was way too skinny” dur- fashion industry’s taste for size as young as 14 working over 12-hour was driven to a new level by the deaths ing London Fashion Week, Esme zero models. days for a week at a time, the organisers from anorexia of two model sisters recounted a story that would sug- Esme, however, believes of London Fashion Week should per- within a six month period. And so gest otherwise: “I was in a car the effect of thin models on haps consider providing a more wide- began the ‘size zero’ debate. with three other girls, and our young girls has been exag- spread system of care and support, Should models with body meas- driver stopped at a petrol station gerated: "I don't know a sin- rather than a straightforward ban. urements equivalent to a British size to get some lunch. One girl gle person who uses mod- Madrid’s policy of ascertaining its mod- four be displaying the latest collections claimed that it wasn't healthy els as role models. And if els’ BMI and providing medical help to from top designers? Madrid Fashion enough, one didn't even bother they are, it's most likely to those considered severely underweight Week’s decision to ban models with a to get out of the car and the third be supermodels, who are on does perhaps constitute a step in the body mass index below 18 from its cat- one looked around the shop and the whole a healthy weight." right direction. However, the combina- walks sparked speculation as to walked out without buying any- Nonetheless, a fashion tion of pressure and packed schedules whether other events would follow suit. thing. They must have thought I industry populated by under- that young models face may need more The British Fashion Council, the was weird when I came out with two weight models is unlikely to be a than a cursory medical check-up to body in charge of running London packets of crisps, a massive roll, some positive force in the battle against ensure their health Fashion Week, defied Culture Secretary cheese triangles and a bottle of water.” rising rates of eating disorders There is certainly no easy, much Tessa Jowell’s calls for a similar ban. It is unsurprising that for girls as among women and particularly young less quick, answer to this problem. It is The BFC asked model agencies to use young as 14 the prospect of appearing teenagers. Even if it is but one influence a network of demands, expectations only healthy models, preferably over 16, before the critical eyes of hundreds of on society’s standards of beauty, it is and standards weaving between but issued no explicit bar on under- journalists, fashion commentators and perhaps at the top of the chain, with designers, models, agencies, and the weight models. celebrities is a nerve-wracking one and images and ideas filtering down media, in which no one policy will pro- Esme Addison, a 15-year-old who the pressure to meet expectations over- through popular culture to the levels duce a significant shift. It is particular- modeled for Biba, Giles Deacon and whelming. Is it the responsibility of the that do influence young girls. ly difficult considering there appears to Marc Jacobs during London Fashion models themselves or the organizations But is a ban on a particular size of be no conscious effort to promote thin- Week 2007, disagrees with the size zero employing them to temper this anxiety model the solution to the self-esteem ness on the catwalks, with both agen- ban. “Sometimes girls are just naturally with a proper diet? Esme recalls that, problems of the nation’s teenage girls? cies and designers encouraging models skinny”, she says. “It’s not fair to ban “After a typical day, I was exhausted. It Dictating the type of models allowed on to eat as far as possible within the con- them.” was a real pain to think that when I got the catwalk may not do anything to fines of their schedules. Nor does she see the modelling in I still had to cook and eat dinner, but alter standards of beauty. If designers Reversing the trend of declining industry as encouraging the spread of it was probably the only time of day continue to create clothes to fit size zero BMIs and ages amongst the fashion eating disorders within its ranks: when I could fully relax, so I also wel- models, agencies will surely continue to industry’s models is not something that “There was always food available, there comed it.” supply models of that size. can be achieved by a quick-fix ban. was ravioli at the agency during the So who is to blame for the preva- Moreover, is stigmatizing a skinny Creating a healthier environment in castings and sandwiches everywhere at lence of exaggeratedly thin models on body shape any more sound than sug- which these young girls work is, howev- Claridges. When I was at a fitting for the catwalks of London Fashion Week? gesting that larger-sized girls are not er, perhaps the paramount concern and Giles Deacon he told me to tuck in. The Fashion Council, the media, the attractive? Surely the best way of reduc- will in turn provide something positive “There’s no pressure from the designers, or the agencies? Esme ing the prevalence of eating disorders for young women to aspire to. M8 Travel 06/03/07 Beer kegs vs Guinness: the

expected to know much more about the We hear so much about the ‘special’ relationship, but just how culture than my American counterparts. I knew I would experience some easy is it to pitch up on the other side of the pond? Kelly culture shock, but by the two-month mark, I would basically be assimilated. Well, the two-month mark has Neukom (California) and David Horan (York) investigate come and gone and I am still reeling. The hard thing about England is that it is somewhat similar to America, but changed just enough that it makes you i, my name is Kelly. I’m from feel as though you are in a parallel uni- America. And no, I didn’t verse. Here, I go into a situation with vote for George Bush, and expectations that I have to throw out of Hyes, I do know things about the window by the end. places outside of America. For example, when I first arrived, I It seems like a silly introduction, met two of the people in my house in but I almost wish I could just make a the kitchen. I introduced myself and sign and tape it onto my shirt every said I was studying abroad from day. So many people think America is California. They went back to talking. nothing but rednecks who stockpile This was so different from California, guns and support the war with Iraq. where people will be all smiles and go Whenever someone starts to bad- out of their way to make you feel com- mouth America, my hackles go up. It’s fortable. Here, everyone seemed too strange, because I’ve never been a very wrapped up in his or her own little patriotic person. I am the first to go on world to make time for you. a Bush-bashing spree, and the people Slowly, though, things started to who sing ‘God Bless America’ at the change. After a few weeks of adjusting top of their lungs make me want to to my presence, the others in my house hurl. But when someone trashes every- began opening up to me. The first time thing about your home, you’re bound one of them talked to me for more than to get a little defensive. five minutes, I felt like crying from It’s one of the many challenges happiness. Now when I go down to the I’ve found living in England. My cir- kitchen, they will be jovial and talka- cumstance is slightly unique, because tive. I feel like asking: why couldn’t you when I was one year old, my father have just been like this at the start? But exchanged jobs with a high-school I guess they’re just English. teacher in Gravesend. The experience When they did start opening up, I made a huge impression on my parents noticed something I liked much more and they’ve brought me back to about England: English people will England four times since then. make time for you. Once you are talk- Because of this, I grew up knowing to an English person, they will sit ing about some English traditions. My there for hours. In America, this hardly friends would stare at our Christmas ever happens. Unless you schedule crackers, wondering what to do with time to talk to your friends, you are them. I knew about Guy Fawkes well constantly rushing around, trying to before V For Vendetta hit theatres. be productive. No one has time to sit When we’re in San Francisco, we make and chew the fat - they must accom- a point to drop by an exotic foods store plish a certain number of things before to feed my Lion Bar addiction. they go to bed. English people have a When I got to England at the start slower, more relaxed pace, and I love of January, I thought I would be pretty that - they seem to care more about well adjusted after a few weeks. Having getting to know you than completing vacationed here so much as a child, I

American. With bright green hair. And here is the inability of the average a tie-dyed shirt. Alarming, yes, but if American to understand me. Of I’m honest the first thing that went course, I expected there to be some lan- through my mind was this: thank God guage difficulties but I honestly had no he’s not a Republican. idea how many words and phrases we The British would probably sum use that are redundant here. Even sim- up America with the words: Christian ple things like telling the time require a radicals, George Bush and obesity, and change of habit. For example, ‘half- t was hard to imagine a more ties in the United States. On arrival it Kelly flies the there is some truth in this. On the way past four’ is greeted with bemusement, arduous journey. I was flying was already distinctly different from flag for to the University we passed several requiring a swift ‘four-thirty’ to clear from Heathrow to Chicago two York; the campus resembled a small America ‘megachurches’, and there does seem to up the confusion. You’re not ‘working Idays after the increased airport town and had a notable absence of abroad. be a sizeable number of Republican on Saturday’; such sentences are security procedures, and when I finally ducks. The scale of the country belittles students here. People also tend to live diminuted to just ‘working Saturday’. got to my seat – three hours late – I had Britain by comparison. With streets Photo: Rachel up to the stereotype of being either fat You have to circumvent the phrase ‘as to wait another hour whilst my person- twice as wide, it’s not surprising that a Holloway or fit, with little in between. However, well’ (e.g. ‘I’ll have a drink as well’) in al contact and credit card details were car is a necessity. Fortunately though, there is much more to America than favour of ‘also’. sent to the CIA (probably). I honestly the University has an excellent free bus this. For instance, you probably think The upside of this is the Midas wondered whether I’d get there at all. service; the ftr has not yet crossed the your house parties are cool. Well you touch I seem to have with girls. If Yet, the trip went smoothly from there- pond. are wrong. Why? It’s because you don’t you’ve seen Love Actually you may on (there evidently being no terrorists Since I was going for the American have a keg. We Brits lack the complex remember the effect that Colin has on aboard), and I eventually arrived in college lifestyle, I opted for a double keg-etiquette rules and statutory girls in Milwaukee and probably Chicago on a sunny Thursday evening. room in a bid to get the full ‘roommate drinking games, such as keg-stand and assumed it was fanciful. Well it’s all I’m on an exchange at the experience’. I wondered what I’d let beer-pong. The legal drinking age is 21 true (up to the point of a threesome), University of Illinois. Found in the myself in for when one evening I came but to be honest it has absolutely no even if the conversation can get a bit middle of the Illinois cornfields and back to my room to find my pithy suit- effect, and my fake ‘European Driving repetitive (‘Oh my God, are you containing over forty thousand stu- case overshadowed by an entire bed- Permit’ works nicely. British?’, or even ‘Are you Australian?’); dents, it is one of the largest universi- room furniture suite, and a rather tall The most surprising aspect of life and I don’t mind controversially saying 06/03/07 Science M9

The scientific briefing with culture divide MirandaAddey

Of course, 90% of the time, this English people are obsessed with Stem cells: hope behind talking involves alcohol. I have never where everyone else was born and what seen people so obsessed with alcohol in that means in terms of class. I want to the controversy? my entire life. It amazes me that they scream “It does not matter!” Seriously, don’t all end up like Ernest I don’t care if you are from Sheffield, Hemingway. In America, alcohol is Brighton or Oxford. You all have the tem cell research may conjure could donate eggs for scientific considered the Holy Grail. We can’t same slang (to my ear), the same pen- up images of replacement research whether or not they were drink before 21, so going to weekend chant for tea, and the same adorable limbs grown on the backs of undergoing IVF treatment. Women parties with alcohol is considered extra little cars. It does not matter if you have Smice or thousands of embryos can even be paid up to £250 for the exciting. Once we hit 21, we still drink the coursest, most cockney accent being killed for medical research. But difficult procedure. They do, however, a lot, but the novelty has worn off a bit. around - if you go to America, you will what is the reality behind the stories? have to prove their reasons for under- Here everyone seems to love beer, espe- get some. It has been my dream since I What is the future of this exciting going the dangerous operation. cially Guinness, more than life itself. was 11 to kiss a boy with a British development? Last year a group claimed to have They drink four nights a week, com- accent and this goal is shared by most Stem cells do exactly what they developed a way to harvest embryonic pared to our paltry two. They drink in American women. I’m even attracted to say on the tin. They are the ‘stem’ of stem cells without destroying an the afternoon. They drink before writ- 70-year-old bus drivers and the crudest the process: the cells that form the embryo. Bob Lanza and his colleagues ing essays and the night before taking Liverpudlian accents (they sound like base of every tissue in our bodies. at Advanced Cell Technology in the Beatles!). They renew themselves through divi- Massachusetts showed it was possible To me, it is fascinating to compare sion and are the parent cells to spe- to generate them from the single cell ‘It doesn’t matter if you have English people to what I’ve always cialised daughter cells which form blastomeres. Blastomeres are routine- known in America. Although I know I everything in our body. There are ly taken from IVF embryos without the coursest, most cockney will never lose my enthusiasm and three types of stem cells: adult stem destroying it, to test for disease. A upbeat outlook on life, I feel as if their cells, cord blood stem cells and group in Kyoto had similar success accent around - if you go to level-headedness and good sense would embryonic stem cells. It is this last with changing adult mouse skin cells be worthy attributes to have rub off on one which causes the majority of the back into embryonic cells by adding America, you will get some’ me. I love the little traditions. I love the controversy surrounding the therapy. four biochemical messengers. willingness to laugh at themselves and When their ability to renew Even with the limitations on sci- exams. Is there any time that it’s not the attempts to imitate American themselves was discovered, the impli- entists, including a veto by Bush on an considered acceptable to drink? accents (which always sounds like a cations were immense. New tissue act to increase federal funding for I just don’t know how girls here demented John Wayne to me). I love and therefore organs could be grown stem cell research, amazing break- stay so thin with all this beer drinking how older people call me “love” and to repair damaged parts, and in theo- throughs in the treatment of diseases and rich food. That's another thing that how (almost) everyone is polite down ry any disease where tissue or organs are being seen. In the last six months, gets me here. The girls. I read that to a fault. are damaged, such as Parkinson’s and stem cell research has been proven to English girls are basically less-attrac- As my sister (studying abroad at diabetes, could be cured. Although so help damaged livers, increased our tive versions of Sporty Spice. This is not Oxford) wrote to me after spending a far this radical therapy has barely understanding of cancer and what true. They have the most impeccable weekend in Italy, “It's good I'm not touched on its capabilities, great causes it, reversed muscle dystrophy, style. The kind where they throw studying in Florence. Italy is so easy to things are surely to come. In the last created insulin for diabetics, may together pieces that almost clash but like - like saying you like The Beatles or few years it has become increasingly repair damaged retinas and combat somehow blend together into an awe- pizza. But it is a shallow love. Loving connected with the most feared of childhood brain disease. And that is inspiring outfit. England is different. Love for Italy is a modern killers: cancer. just what has been in the headlines. I myself could never create such middle-school crush on the quarter- Mounting evidence suggests Adult stem cell research has done outfits. With my casual California style back - love for England is our-socks- rogue stem cells are at the heart of much to further our understanding of and unstick-like figure, I’ve basically get-mixed-up-in-the-dryer wedded most, if not all, cancers. This radical the body and its methods of repairing given up competing with the rest of bliss.” research is even being conducted in itself, as well as helping cure diseases. them. It worries me because I'm scared Oh, “middle school” is the time our own backyards. Dr Anne Collins Adult stem cells are found in many that boys will be turned off purely by when you’re 12-14 years old and a of the Yorkshire Cancer Research Unit parts of the body. They are undifferen- how I dress. I just wear simple, com- “quarterback” is a position in a football in the University Biology Department tiated cells and repair damaged tissue. fortable clothes, and I feel downright team. And when I say “football”, I mean achieved a first by isolating cancer They are not true stem cells because boyish sometimes. Being an exotic American football. Because we call stem cells from human prostate can- they do not possess the ability for cel- American only helps so much in this football “soccer,” which is a billion cers and growing them in the labora- lular differentiation; there are only a country - which sucks, because every times better anyway. And when I say tory. Pro-Cure Therapeutics, set up to limited amount of cells they can boy here has an accent that turns me “billion,” I mean your “thousand mil- commercialise the output of YCR, become. One thing they definitely can on like nothing else. lion.” See how hard this is? received a £2 million investment to do is form all types of blood. continue this important research. If Catherine Verfaillie, of the University these newly found cells are indeed the of Minnesota, demonstrated that that guys, if you’re wondering, the girls root of the cancer, and therefore the adult stem cells used in the body to here really are better looking. reason for recurrent malignant form marrow and muscle could also As a Politics student it seems fit- tumours, in the words of Professor create all types of blood, but others ting to comment on the most recent Norman Maitland, Professor of have struggled to repeat the results. political trends here. Illinois is a fierce- Molecular Biology and Director of the She recently teamed up with Irving ly Democratic state and producer of the YCR Cancer Research Unit, there is a Weissman of Stanford University, and party’s new star, Barack Obama. The “prospect of designing anti-cancer they repeated the process successfully. largely liberal student population is stem cell therapies with a real chance Cord blood stem cells are equally rather hyped up by this man, and many of a cure”. valuable. These are recovered from of my friends went to see him However, it is embryonic stem umbilical cords, are stored for trans- announce his candidacy for the presi- cells which probably hold the key to plantation, like regenerating bone dency in Illinois’s capital, Springfield. I the greatest break-throughs. These marrow, and can be used to treat would get excited too, if it weren’t for are the only stem cells with the capa- immune-system related diseases. the fact that I can’t realistically see him bility to become any other cells. To get This is obviously a huge area of winning, due to the prevalent attitudes them, the embryo must be created but investigation with many fields of of powerful rural America. then, in harvesting the cells, it is research encompassed and moral Before I came here, I thought that inevitably destroyed. For those believ- issues surrounding it. One thing is for most people could be divided into two Stateside, Dave on Terror’. ing that the embryo is the beginning sure, there are many areas getting political camps, and for a large part finds himself I asked some of my friends what of a human being, this is tantamount tainted with the same brush as this is true. But there is a plurality of surrounded by stereotypes they thought the rest of the to murder. Researchers, however, use embryonic stem cell research that are views, and more importantly there’s a gorgeous, world had of America. Response: stu- embryos created, but not used, in IVF fully worthy of being considered lot of debate and discussion on the pid, loud, ignorant, wasteful, fat, rude, treatment which were likely to be under their own merit. This is cut- important matters affecting the coun- adoring girls etc. What’s more, all of them said these destroyed anyway, or at least stored ting-edge medical research and will try and the world. Most students I talk were probably true. I, however, have a indefinitely. In February the Human probably hold the key to curing many to are well aware of the implications of sneaky suspicion that there might be Fertility and Embryology Authority, diseases. But in our quest for immor- global warming and often have some just a little bit more to our friends the government regulator on such tality of the human body, how far is constructive views on Iraq and the ‘War across the pond. sensitive areas, ruled that women too far? M10 Interview 06/03/07 Who bagged the Booker:

The 2005 Man Booker Prize winner John Banville talks to Sara Sayeed about why his books are an embarrassment, his fans are disappointed when they meet him and he empathises with Springfield’s naughty schoolboy - Bart “eat my shorts” Simpson

ith characteristic pomp revels in “writing-talk” that he com- netherworld, where you’re not yourself. right, I must get it right”. This is what and flair, Oscar Wilde once pletely quells our would-be brazen It’s a kind of sleeping and a kind of Banville constantly aspires to – simply indignantly huffed, “I’m tongues, and impounds us in rapt dreaming”. Banville asserts that this getting it right. And when he finally Wnot English; I’m Irish, attention. Well, I can only really speak ‘self’ that presents itself - unwillingly - does? “Well, then I’ll stop writing”. which is quite another thing.” Despite for myself and, in hindsight, I hope I to the public, the one that “sits there For Banville, writing seems to be protestations that the legendary didn’t physically drool as dotingly as I wondering about his dinner”, is usually an ever-enthralling escapade – despite Beckett/Joyce faction simply “looms just did verbally. met with a little disappointment. He all his sardonic compulsions, he over one”, John Banville seems set to be Banville is indeed an imposing fig- amusingly notes that many readers expresses an unfailingly genuine relish hauled into that prodigious “thing” that ure. Author of some sixteen novels, who venture to meet him glance for language, with its malleable capa- is Irish writing. Having read and been respected critic and frighteningly eru- around for a man of stature, like his bilities and challenging ambiguities. stunned by The Sea, I decided to whee- dite, it’s little wonder that he is often protagonists, only to be thwarted by his Surprisingly, Banville declares, “Now dle my way into a PhD session with the reverently regarded from a distance, to wry yelp, “Down here!” I’ve got to a point, finally, when I’m just professedly loathe victor of the 2005 the extent that such appendages as After meeting the author, ‘looking about beginning to learn how to write”. Man Booker Prize. There, I became a ‘Banville the Austere’ and ‘Banville the down’ becomes something you start to This sudden revelation has been little better acquainted with the man Grave Intellectual’ probably wouldn’t arrived at via a new-found feeling of who “despises and is embarrassed” by go far amiss. Interestingly, it is not only freedom from what has become the his own work - but nonetheless is quick the critics who displace the author “The person you expected to shackle of his distinctive first person to concede that, regardless, they are from person into noun; this detach- narrative. He bemoans, “You know, I indeed “better than everybody else’s ment from identity is felt by Banville meet is not me. I didn’t write wrote so many bloody books and books”. himself. When talking about his work they’re all the same!” Christine Falls - From the sombre density of his he jettisons the expected pronouns; the books - that was some other authored by his alter-ego Benjamin novels, one could quite confidently pre- discarding ‘my’ for a ‘John Banville Black - signified for Banville the first sume that Banville will not be the book’, or even a ‘Benjamin Black book’. person I left in my study” “real transition” and, he ventures, “was chirpy sort. For me, however, his repu- He utters such terms without flinching, a way of breaking away from a rut that tation as a daunting and austere figure as if multiple identities are quite natu- associate with Banville. Not so much I was very deeply in. This was part of was evoked by Google-folklore, and ral. “Look,” he elucidates, “the person because of any vertical challenge - real- the process of change”. then reinforced by the somewhat anx- you expected to meet is not me, I didn’t ly he’s comfortably average - but due to The Sea seems to be a continua- ious, bated silence that heralded his write the books, that’s some other per- his constant, laconic self-deprecation. tion of this process, being a marked arrival. And indeed, Banville begins as son I left in my study”. Granted, as critic Mark Gallagher distraction from his previous intense anticipated - terse, hesitant to over- For any fellow literature students laments, Banville “doesn’t do cheery”; and psychologically-fraught protago- effuse or enthuse and with a discon- out there unavoidably bound to that he is sardonically funny though, which nists, moving instead towards a more certing shrewdness in the eye. Yet (shudder) Norton Anthology, this ethos dismantles the pedestal somewhat and nostalgic account of childhood. swiftly enough, and perhaps loosened is all too reminiscent of when Barthes renders him remarkably approachable. However, it is his forthcoming ‘John up by the ‘free drink’ so gleefully iden- decided to kill off the author circa 1967. Really, how can you not warm to a man Banville’ book, tentatively titled First tified by Hugh Houghton, the threat of However, gleaned from his own words, who ventures, “I’m like Bart Simpson.” Light - of which only 6000 words have ponderousness is swept up and away Banville’s writing practice seems less To clarify, just as Banville distinguishes been written and published - which into a dynamic, often jocular discus- the calculated erosion of authorial between his many selves, this isn’t the will prove the real turn, as Banville sion. identity advocated by Barthes and haranguing “Eat my shorts!” Bart, but breaks into the alien territory of third Admittedly, it is heavily weighted more of a numinous process. “To make the one in the opening credits dedicat- person narrative (although the ghostly to one side as Banville so relishes and art you think down to some strange ing to the blackboard “I must get it ‘I’ still lurks fleetingly in the voice of God Mercury, mordantly remarked upon by his publisher as “another crowd pleaser, John...?”) Authors and their Alter-Egos Yet, the exuberance of this new- found liberation has not gone unmiti- Banville is not alone in suffering from artistic schizophrenia. Here we introduce some more gated: “I do feel freer than I have in a long time. I do feel less oppressed by enigmatic figures from the literary world who join him in the author alter-ego asylum my own need to keep speaking in a particular voice. But I don’t know what > Lewis Caroll: The Alice and > Joyce Carol Oates: the criti- > Ellis, Acton and Curer Bell: will happen, if it will work.” This hesi- Wonderland series of books cally acclaimed American respectively Emily, Anne and tance and uncertainty is a consistent could perhaps be construed as author dabbles in the genre of Charlotte Bronte. trait throughout the discussion. a psychedelic form of escapism mystery fiction under the name Although Banville speaks with articu- from his starkly more lacklus- Rosamond Smith. Unfortunately, some alter-egos late assurance, at times his comments contradict each other, and even he con- tre real-life occupation as are purely the by-product of cedes, “I’m answering as if I know the Charles Ludwig Dodgson, a Due to historical misogyny and error: answers to these questions, but I don’t! mathematician and honouree male egotism, many women I’m just making it up as I go along – as of the Christ Church were forced to write under > Toni Morrison: Originally all of us, I don’t know what I’m doing Mathematical Lectureship at masculine pseudonyms. Some Chloe Anthony Wofford. until I’ve done it”. This, yet again, Oxford. examples of these include: According to Morrison, when seems to hark back to that mystical her debut novel The Bluest Eye experience of writing, where author- > Mark Twain: Twain famously > George Elliot: the was published, “they got the ship becomes unconscious and instinc- used a variety of pseudonyms Middlemarch author was born name wrong – Toni’s a nick- tive instead of a deliberate act. Banville for his writings, including Josh Mary Anne Evans. name”. To put right her mis- attributes this to the power of language and, amusingly, Thomas named fame she insists, “It was and argues that “language will write Jefferson Snodgrass. His origi- > George Sand: her real name Chloe, by the way, who went to itself, as language always does. I don’t believe that we speak language, but nal birth name was Samuel is Amantine-Lucile-Auror- Stockholm to get the Nobel that we are spoken by language”. This Langhorne Clemens. Dupin. Prize”. comment is a near-perfect echo of con- 06/03/07 Interview M11 Banville, Black or Bart?

temporary Irish poet and acquaintance Paul Muldoon’s statement, “I don’t speak poetry, it speaks me”. Banville’s writing reminds me of Muldoon’s poetry – both are pithy yet semantically adventurous, engaging in what I suppose could be termed ‘disci- plined linguistic gymnastics’. Muldoon and Banville both have an ability to seamlessly intertwine the dirge and the droll; even the gravest depictions contain minute fluctuations in the language that invoke a lightning glimmer of wit. Unable to shrug off this uncanny parallel and having been thus far duti- fully silent, I decided to recklessly ignore my editor’s assurances to the PhD group that I would be “very well behaved and quiet”, err on the side of brazenness, and ask a question of my own. Having noticed throughout a constant return to the notion of “transition”, I wanted to know in which direction that movement was tending, and whether it was towards a more poetic medium. Unfortunately it seemed my query was more than a little overdue as it was something that Banville had been striving towards all along: “Auden said that the poem is the only art form that you have to either take or leave. You cannot read a poem and fantasise about sex. If your mind drifts from a poem, the poem doesn’t work…I like to write novels like that, in which you have to concentrate. I want it to be as dense and demanding as poetry, and I also want it to give the kind of pleasure that poetry gives”. Banville distinguishes that “What you’re getting in a John Banville book is concentration, and what you’re getting in a Benjamin Black book is spon- taneity”. Such emphasis on concentration and focus threatens to confer a schoolboy tedium on reading Banville. In keeping with this schoolboy metaphor, according to Banville, writing his books - and, indeed, reading them- is more like sex. Granted Auden, you probably can’t read poetry atten- And the object blushes under this fearful “man of frugal speech… [who] sufficiently perforated for the reader to depth of concentration, this depth of weigheth - while the rest - expend their engage and read-in their own perspec- attention. And that’s when real art is furthest pound”. Banville’s control and tive - that is to say, sometimes you can ‘Banville’s prose is something of made – when the object becomes self- facility with language, only achieved he flirt back. As Banville says, “The Sea conscious and blushes.” Arguably, argues “after forty years of scraping becomes a new book every time it is a coquettish sprite - it flirts Banville’s prose is something of a away at the pages” certainly is, as read. People are constantly telling me blushingly coquettish sprite - it flirts Dickinson suggests in her poem, somethings about my books that I didn’t with the reader, hints at some with the reader, always hinting at some thing of which to be ‘wary’. even know!” For example, as ventured concealed pleasure but never suc- Banville’s method now involves by the PhD group, the novels seem concealed pleasure, but never cumbing to candid realisation. It is a writing sentence by sentence: “I finish rather saturated with gin. Whereas tantalising puzzle and thus it “gives the a sentence before I go onto the next Banville’s interviews almost always succumbs to candid realisation’ kind of pleasure that poetry gives.” one. So there’s practically no revision”. seem to include some reference to a According to Banville’s definition, his The result is deceptively spare prose “glass of Sauvignon Blanc in hand”, the tively while in a wanton state of mind. work is nearing the accolade of ‘real that veils a seething, complex sub-tex- characters in his novels often have a Nevertheless, for Banville, the focus art’: “I think real works of art are ture of nuance and motif. You don’t tumbler of gin conveniently nearby. you need in order to write poetically “is always closed, they contain their own look twice when you read a ‘Banvillian’ Banville , unfortunately, has not regis- almost sexual”. enigma and they hide their own enig- sentence, you look thrice – and even tered this insight. In contrast, one of Before we arch our eyebrows in ma, and this is what makes them last then you might want to have another the students has even ascertained that bemusement and wonder if that free because they don’t give up their secret.” glance just to make sure. Certainly, this the characters usually go for the wine was really a good idea after all, It would seem, then, that lan- isn’t a process for everyone. Banville Bombay Sapphire brand. Banville clarifies: “Concentration on guage not only “speaks itself” but con- admits that he meticulously crafts the Banville’s texts seem to almost the writing object is like how the lover trols what it decides to say and when – opening paragraph of every novel so invite these misreadings in their quest concentrates on the beloved. The lover it is its own agent and not, as we would that he can “teach the reader how to to be edifices of linguistic art – and lan- knows that the beloved is a flawed like to assume, merely a serf of the ves- read. Not your way, my way. Many guage is one puckish slippery snake. creature like himself, but he insists that sel it finds itself in. We have all felt that readers don’t like that and I sympa- That’s how Banville’s wife seems to see the loved creature is a Goddess. And internal bubbling of words which we thise with them. But I can do it no it, anyway – when the Book of that is how the artist treats the world – cannot channel and subsequently emit other way”. Evidence was short-listed for the the world is constantly turning to the in a sort of frenzied babble. But But it’s not all ‘my way or the high- Booker, she exclaimed to her husband, artist and saying, ‘Look, I didn’t expect remarkably, Banville rarely succumbs way’. Yes, the novels are linguistically “they must have misread it… but don’t to be noticed in this extraordinary way’. to verbiage. He is Emily Dickinson’s thick, but not opaque. The prose is just worry, you’ll write another one!” M12 Nightlife 06/03/07 M13 Sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll: the real Ziggy’s revealed

No one wants to be sober at Ziggy’s. Nicky Woolf does the unthinkable and goes behind the scenes to expose the debauchery

am a fly-on-the-wall observer in the downstairs bar of Ziggy’s nightclub on Micklegate. ‘You will stand out at Ziggy’s if IGenerally accepted to be the club you’re not dressed as a soldier, night not to miss, Ziggy’s on a Wednesday is a university institution; love it or hate it, you can’t deny that superhero, Playboy bunny or, your time at the University of York is not complete until you have done shots controversially, wife beater’ of sambuca with the rugby players in the champagne room, grinded with a Deramore, meet the opposing team, randomer on the lower dance floor, have some food and a pint, then home strawpedo-ed with a stranger in to get dressed according to that night’s bunny-ears at the lower bar where the social, meet up again in 1331, followed hockey players hang out or play-fought by Judges’, then some of us go to Priory, with JR the bouncer. end up in the Acorn after having had...” My mission here - and the reason S pauses for a brief moment’s thought, that, against the most sacred student “4 to 6 pints at 1331, 2 to 3 pints at doctrine of Ziggy’s, I am almost entire- Judges, maybe 3, 4 or 5 pints after that. ly sober - is that I want to find out what Some people go for trebles in Nag’s, makes this place tick. Why is it the some people go to the Maltings...” institution that it is? Who is behind the When asked if he thought this level of ultimate venue for sports socials and binge-drinking is worrying, however, debauchery? What can go right, and his answer is a categorical No. “I’m sure what can go wrong? we drink no more than the other A Wednesday night at Ziggy’s socials, and after all, you comes together from a thousand differ- only ent beginnings. For S, a forward on the live Rugby 2nds, his night begins almost as soon as his afternoon match is finished. S takes me through a typical Wednesday Just another evening’s pre- drinking. “First Wednesday to the night: students pile into York’s you will stand out at Ziggy’s if you are sle.” A student punched out an expen- pens. “Well, quite a lot,” he answers Steve thinks for a while, then says “Had they’re not idiots. I don’t throw them premiere not dressed as a soldier, superhero, sive light fitting on a previous with a grin, then addresses JR: “You “We catch a lot of ‘em having one girl, when we had glass tables in out. It’s not an aggressive drug, anyway. nightspot. Playboy bunny, woman or even, contro- Wednesday but was caught on camera caught one - that girl on t’fire escape, there.” He points towards the cham- We just say ‘Not in here, if you don’t versially, ‘wife beater.’ Often people and offered to pay the damages rather didn’t you?” JR’s only reply is a wide sex. Couples who think there’s pagne room, then looks at Andrew and mind. Put it out’ and leave it at that. If Photos: Georgi make costumes with astonishing cre- than face police proceedings. Steve and toothy grin. grins, “she was... biggish. She sat on they’re smoking it persistently, we’ll ask Mabee ativity; some of the best I have wit- Andrew seem to prefer working prob- I ask what the procedure is for no camera there, that we can’t one of ‘em. How stupid’s that? She them to leave.” He shifts uncomfortably once. nessed include a head-to-toe fur suit, a lems out with students face-to-face, this, and am greatly amused by the went through it. And I wasn’t putting a as I ask about more dangerous drugs, It’s only cardboard tank costume and a and are only too happy to forgive and answer. “Well,” Steve says, with the see them down the fire escapes” plaster on her arse, so I made her mate such as ecstasy. “Other drugs, they usu- some fun, and Cleopatra outfit fabricated entirely forget drunken bad behaviour - when gleeful air of someone sharing an inti- do it. She went straight through the ally take before they come in. They’ll it’s the stu- from a sheet of gold cloth (which on a apologised to - instead of enforcing a mate joke, “if I see ‘em on camera, I’ll table!” “She was quite big,” Andrew take pills in the queue and there’s very dent life!” previous social had served as a super- permanent ban. send them”. He waves at the doormen, Ziggy’s!” followed almost instanta- confirms, in a deadpan tone but with a little we can do about that. We watch It isn’t hero’s cape), pins and “a lot of tit-tape.” At 9:45pm JR, commonly known who are still checking their walkie- neously by an optimistic “Do I get a twinkle in his eye. on the cameras and we’ll say ‘Yeah, he’s just the sports At around 9pm, when various as to students ‘Big John’, arrives. He talkies, and continues: “I’ll watch ‘em, prize?”, the first of the night’s many Anecdotes aside, Steve becomes been dancing all night – what’s he been teams for socials and sports teams are getting and fellow doormen Pete, James and till they go that far that they can’t stop, punters stride towards the bar. I watch more serious. “It’s all idiocy. No com- drinking? Just water?’” He pauses. whom Ziggy’s into their stride at their chosen York Rob walk into the office together. They then I’ll send a doorman round and say as a second-year student pleads to be mon sense. We’ve found that a lot with “You getting me?” is a permanent drinking hole, Steve Rogers arrives at don walkie-talkies and headsets. JR ‘Wait there,’ on the radio, and then I’ll let in despite his obvious and extreme students - they’re good at what they do, Between 1am and 2am, the club weekly fixture. Ziggy’s. As General Manager, it is his and the team are not expecting much say ‘Right! Go and tap him on the intoxication; the procedure is to ask or they wouldn’t be at uni - but when it begins to empty. As the students begin Wednesday job to see that every ingredient of a trouble tonight. He suspects that if shoulder now!’” He pauses for effect, him to walk a straight line down the comes to common sense, a lot of it’s to leave in dribs and drabs, I ask Steve night is an inte- Wednesday night is present and cor- anyone has to be ejected it will be for then goes on, “He’ll jump up and...” hill towards the Artful Dodger and limited. And first-years, who’ve only and Andrew what the best times for gral part of the rect, and that everyone’s night goes over-enthusiastic amorousness by the Steve makes a whistling noise and an back again, a test that he fails miser- just left home, they haven’t a clue how them are working at Ziggy’s. Steve, week for a large without a hitch. Steve is expecting a fire escape, rather than belligerence. energetic gesture conveying mid-coital ably. to handle themselves - they’re suddenly with characteristic sarcasm, answers swathe of stu- busy night - up to 700 students passing Sitting by the fire in the front room that surprise. “She’ll jump up and...” He By 11pm, the club has reached full let free.” first: “About two o’clock when we shut dents. For girls, through the doors in about four hours. serves as the nerve centre of the club, I repeats the gesture even more dramat- capacity and the night is progressing At this point, JR enters with the and go home...” After a brief chuckle, I am reliably He and the owner, Andrew Elliott, have ask Steve about the funniest story he ically. “Then they’ll come out, and she’ll well. An example of what can go wrong aforementioned attacker. He is very Andrew gives me an answer that sums informed, the been running a student night at Ziggy’s has to tell from working at Ziggy’s. “I be bright red, and everyone’ll give ‘em a presents itself at around midnight. A drunk, and is unceremoniously ejected up his management style, and his busi- process begins at for over 20 years now, and have no don’t know, really,” he says, then pauses round of applause. She’ll be red as hell second-year has been punched on the from the premises. As they do so, I ask ness aims. “The best times? When around 6pm with plans to change. They are slightly wor- for thought. “We catch a lot of ‘em hav- and hiding her face. He’ll be coming dancefloor, and blood is streaming Steve if they have any problems with everything’s gone nice, we’ve had a the most impor- ried about this year’s crowd of students, ing sex. Couples who think there’s no out cheering!” He smiles mischievous- from a gash above his left eye. He drugs. “There’s a drug problem every- great night – hassle free – and every- tant decision of however, as there has been a recent camera there, that we can’t see them ly. “We get quite a few of those.” describes his attacker and JR is dis- where,” he says sagely. “Um, student- body’s gone out saying they’ve had a the whole night - problem with vandalism, but he doesn’t right outside the office on the office On the dot of 10pm, Steve gives patched to find him. While Steve dress- wise, not really, no, we don’t get great great time, that they’ve had a bit of a what to wear. Fancy consider the damage to be malicious: wall, or down the fire escapes.” the nod to begin letting people in. With es the wound, I ask what other dangers problems. The odd smell of cannabis, laugh. And that happens,” he concludes dress is the norm - “It’s all mindless idiocy, it’s a lot of has- Intrigued, I ask how often this hap- a triumphant “Yes! I’m the first into there are, apart from drunken violence. which isn’t that serious, considering happily, “quite a lot.” M14 In-depth 06/03/07 Where have all the radicals gone? Students have always been notorious for extreme politics and bumptious protests. But, as Daniel Whitehead discovers, this stereotype is fast changing here at York

tudents have always been a general election, compared to 75% of riotous bunch. In medieval older respondents. times, scholars waged battles So has a demographic renowned Sagainst the constabulary with for challenging authority, questioning bows and arrows, while during Soviet assumptions and orchestrating change rule, a Hungarian student protested become politically disengaged? Have against the regimeby sitting fire to him- students, a group once seen as irra- self. tionally and inexplicably revolutionary, Throughout the ’60s and ’70s, become more apathetic than their par- young people unified in protest over ents? I ask the opinions of York stu- global, national and local issues. dents past and present, many of whom Whether it was the war in Vietnam, have been involved in politics during British capitalism or the closure of a their time at university. local pub, the University of York was Politics professor Haleh Afshar always at the forefront of confrontation. studied at the University in the late six- In 1967, three York students were ties, at the height of student activism. arrested outside the US embassy in She recalls being involved in the York students London after violent protests against Cambridge Garden House 'riots' of protest against the conflict in Vietnam. Similarly, in 1970 when six students were arrested the portering 1977, 450 York students staged a sit-in after protesting at a 'Greek night' held cuts in 2007. at Heslington Hall in protest at pro- at the Garden House Hotel. “Students Photo: Georgi posed fee increases. The event drew the are no longer interested in either uni- Mabee attention of local and national media versity or national politics,” she said. and lasted six days. generation”, while Toynbee went a step after its members.” Fast forward 30 years: a group of further, calling young people who don't YUSU Welfare Officer Amy Foxton no more than 15 students have chained ‘Has a demographic renowned wish to be involved in politics “air- defended the Union's attitude towards themselves together in protest at por- heads” and “political know-nothings”. student issues: “The way in which stu- tering cuts. They are stood in a line, for challenging authority, If our generation is indeed politi- dents’ unions operate, particularly in half-blocking the Vanbrugh Walkway cally disengaged, then why is this? York, has changed. Today we can (but still allowing room for passersby to questioning assumptions and University of York Labour Party Chair achieve more by winning the respect of get through) quietly making their point, Andy Dixon thinks there is a “feeling University staff, sitting in meetings and but causing little disturbance to anyone. orchestrating change become amongst students and young people discussing issues.” She also said stu- Students and academics alike wan- that politics is a bad thing or a tainted dents can make more of an impact by der by; some sign the petition whilst politically disengaged?’ thing. If you back away from politics, voting in UGMs and supporting the others turn back to find another route then you leave those with power to do Students’ Union. “It would help if stu- and avoid confrontation. The protest “They share the British apathy towards what they want. I think the passion for dents let us know what they think and will not hold out for a resolution; a politics, wherein they may get organ- politics is still there with students but feel about issues, so we can communi- maximum 10-hour duration has already ised on single issues or might not.” perhaps something that keeps it down cate this to the University,” she said. been announced by the organisers. All Afshar is not the first British grad- is that people don't feel they have the Rich Croker, YUSU President, will be home in time for dinner, with or uate to voice concerns over the new ability to make a difference. Part of the believes the Union makes as much without a conclusion. generation. Her claims have been reason is the political system has progress as ever but does not receive The protest might be seen as a fail- backed by columnists become less ideological and you have credit. He said, “I think student politics ure. However, recent memory suggests Donald Hiscock and Polly An old-school politicians chasing a small number of can make a real difference and has this was perhaps one of the more suc- Toynbee. Hiscock student protest votes.” done. Sometimes it is difficult because cessful cases of activism in described mod- in the ‘70s Changing attitudes towards you can never show the effects of repre- the past 12 months and ern students as activism have been discussed heavily in sentation to all those you represent - recent statistics suggest a the “apathy political circles. York Socialists especially when what you are dealing worrying Secretary Michelle Wheeler agrees with is part of a long term plan or strat- upward trend that a rapidly changing society is one egy. There is no doubt that input from a in student reason. She suggests that in the ’60s student perspective should ensure the apathy. and ’70s students felt there was outcome of our politics is more Only 48% more to fight for, with war, racial designed around the needs of students.” of students equality and capitalism all promi- However, with a university that voted in nent issues. Andrew Lewin of the has seen cutbacks in facilities, a greater the campus Liberal Democrats dis- emphasis on the students of the future 2005 agrees, saying, “I still think there and higher course fees than ever, it are single issues which students seems questionable whether the stu- get passionate about. Perhaps not dent message is getting through to over such a large range, but I do those that matter. think there are still some things No one seems to agree on a solu- which hit home, such as tuition tion to this rising apathy. Whether it is fees and Iraq.” down to the emergence of different So what can be done to methods of protest through electronic encourage greater participation? media or a generation too content with What prevents the voices of York our own lives to care about the bigger students being louder? Lewin picture, time will only tell. suggests the problem is the dis- Some would argue that the world tance between campus political has become a more equitable, just place groups and YUSU. Dixon added, in the past 30 years, and that political “YUSU needs to engage with York extremism is no longer required of the students more and be tougher with modern undergraduate. Whether racial the University. Currently, the equality, women's rights and freedom of University is making cuts which speech have been confined to history is directly damage student welfare another question. One thing is for sure, and it's not YUSU's business to though: the days of burning bras and be looking after the University. rioting for the sake of challenging The point of the Union is to look authority are a distant memory. 06/03/07 Theatre M15 Psychosis unleashed on York DramaSoc hits the York Theatre Royal this week with two plays exploring mental disorders. Venetia Rainey meets the cast and crew

t would leave the audience the project: Blair deemed the experi- mentally and emotionally ence so far “nerve-wracking but excit- exhausted; it would be dan- ing”. “Igerous.” These are the words The whole venture is made more used by DramaSoc’s chair to explain ambitious by the fact that both plays why two plays being put on at the York tackle incredibly tough material. Both Theatre Royal were not allowed to be are about mental disorders and, as shown back-to-back in one night. Larsmon points out, are “very themati- Sophie Larsmon is, of course, referring cally linked”. However, both the plays’ to The Madman and the Nun and 4.48 directors emphasise their differences Psychosis, picked by herself and a panel and Cruden is at pains to point out that es the opportunity grants her. Cruden of judges to be performed in the highly whilst they do “compliment each other”, admits that The Madman and the Nun professional space this week. they are also “very different plays”. is “difficult to sell in a way” because it She is proud, and rightly so, that a The Madman and the Nun is does not have the same controversy professional friendship has been estab- essentially, Long explains, about the surrounding it as 4.48 Psychosis and is lished for the first time in both institu- “role of the artist in society”. Written by “a little-known play”, but he is adamant tions’ histories. This ‘joint venture’ is Stanislaw Witkiewicz, it explores the that it will be able to hold its own the fruit of 18 months’ labour. and she is sanity of its main character, Walpurg, a against its more notorious counterpart. keen to emphasise that the YTR has as poet who is treated as a madman. It 4.48 Psychosis covers very differ- much to gain from the liaison as questions contemporary society’s treat- ent ground. It is described by Blair as “a DramaSoc, saying of Damian Cruden, play about bipolar disorder, told the Artistic Director of the YTR, “He through a combination of interview, was basically asking me, ‘How do I get ‘4.48am is when monologue and motif, wherein clarity students into the theatre?’” and psychosis merge together destruc- Cruden expresses similar senti- many psychotics tively” and by Larsman as a “biograph- ments: “My interest is that people use ical suicide note”. However, Blair also Top: the cast of to it, things like loneliness and feeling this building” and he sees it as a step find themselves to believes that Sarah Kane - the play’s isolated are things I think everyone can towards making the theatre a “part of controversial writer who committed 4.48 Psychosis. relate to.” At the same time, she admits the community’s artistic life.” For a long be most lucid, but suicide shortly after finishing it - meant Photo: Georgi the psychotic element messes with her time, the YTR has tried to solve the for there to be a “lot of humour in it”. It Mabee; bottom: head: “Sometimes I need to just put the conundrum of students not attending appear at their is an incredibly “dark play” which cov- Ed Duncan script down and distance myself from the theatre and the obvious answer is ers a very “sensitive subject”. The title Smith in The it”; an indication of its raw power. now being realised: as one of the direc- most deranged’ comes from the time 4.48am, when Whilst 4.48 Psychosis is the better tors phrases it, they must “let them put many psychotics (including Kane) find Madman and known play, due to Kane’s reputation something on, because it gets them ment of artists and different methods of themselves most lucid, but appear to the Nun and her other controversial plays, The involved”. psychiatry, arguing that, in the words of outsiders as at their most deranged. It Madman and the Nun also tackles fas- This new liaison allows directors to Long, “art is sanity; society is mad”. lacks both a distinct plot and charac- cinating and disturbing subject matter, think about balancing budgets, city- When asked to sum up her play in ters and is written in a deconstructed and is performed by an equally talented wide publicity and profit; aspects of one sentence, Long - who has not form of poetry, which Blair remarks cast of students. This new venture by drama generally able to be ignored in directed at the Drama Barn before - “makes it considered quite a difficult DramaSoc should, Larsmon hopes, the Drama Barn. Profits will be split, responds thoughtfully: “In trying to play to put on”. Despite all of this, she “make it less insular” and dissipate the with half going to the YTR and the rest escape the confines of society’s strait- chose it for her directorial debut at the 4.48 Psychosis “town-gown divide” by opening up stu- to DramaSoc. Aside from money, the jacket, the madman-poet raises the University; when I remark on this March 6, 8 and 10. dent drama to the public. The future of collaboration gives directors and cast a question as to who should be institu- impressive feat, she laughs lightly, the scheme, however, is entirely chance to perform to what Cruden calls tionalised, the artist or the doctor?” retorting, “impressive or stupid”. The Madman and dependent on ticket sales for the per- “a different type of audience”. Edward Duncan Smith is enthusiastic about his She gives most of the credit to the the Nun formances this week, as the YTR is ulti- Duncan Smith, a cast member of The involvement in the play. He tells me, sit- actors, calling them “a fabulous cast”. March 7, 9 and mately a commercial theatre. “People Madman and the Nun, said, “It is a ting excitedly on the edge of his seat, They are equally passionate: “I love it”, matinee on March have become imaginatively lazy”, weird feeling, anyone can walk in and that it is a “surrealist comedy about love beams Alice Boagey, a member of the 10. Cruden sighs, and both plays are excel- watch it”, although he also believes that and the fine line between art and sanity, four-strong cast; “I’ve never been so lent examples of what he calls “theatre such a platform for students is “a good with a fair bit of Freud-bashing and lots prepared for a play so early on!” She Both at the York that asks the audience to engage”. stepping stone”. Both Natasha Long, of surrealism”. The Theatre Royal has, cites the “words, the lyricism of it” as Theatre Royal, This week, fight your mental apa- director of The Madman and the Nun, they agree, given them “space to experi- the best part of it. “It is very human.” www.yorkthe- thy and get down to the Theatre Royal; and Lisa Blair, director of 4.48 ment a bit more”, and Long especially Boagey continues, “even though people atreroyal.co.uk it’s right by the Minster, and students Psychosis, seem to relish the pressure of seems pleased about the creative choic- might not be able to immediately relate only pay £5. M16 Agony Uncle 06/03/07 UncleMatthew He would care, but he just doesn’t want to... ‘Speak to your tutor about how you feel. If a grand gesture is required, why not fall to your knees and confess your love in a seminar? I'm sure your seminar colleagues will appreciate your sharing attitude’

Dear Uncle Matthew, Dear Uncle Matthew, Dear Uncle Matthew,

I'm really worried about my boyfriend. As our I have developed an all consuming crush on my I am a first year student and I'm still finding it English tutor. It wouldn't be so bad, but he really really hard to adjust to university, even though relationship has progressed over the past year, he isn't the sort one might expect to fancy, so I'm too has become more and more obsessed with his embarrassed to talk to my friends about it. He has it's nearly the end of the second term. Everyone religion. He is a Baptist Christian, and not only a gold stud in one ear, a shaven head and he talks seems to enjoy their course and to be living in a has he taken to attending regular church services in a perfect monotone. Yet for some inexplicable social whirl from which I am excluded. They've and Bible study classes, he has also become reason, he really lights my fire. I felt the first flush- all got about 100 friends on Facebook, I've only entirely convinced that the second coming of es of passion when I went to his house for tea with got nine. Also, I believe my parents no longer Christ is imminent. I wouldn't mind all this, but the rest of my seminar group; watching him pour love me, since they have only telephoned once, from a leaky teapot got me hot under the collar, and then only to tell me that the dog had diar- my real concern is that at some point he will stop and ever since I've been skulking around sleeping with me on account of his increased Langwith hoping to catch a glimpse of him. This rhoea. Am I, as I suspect, a social leper? If so, faith. What should I do? crush is taking over my life. What should I do? how can I rectify the situation?

Perturbed, Halifax Flushed, James Tearful, Langwith Dear Perturbed, Dear Flushed, Dear Tearful,

I suggest you try to accommodate and understand your At times of emotional stress it is often a great help to confide It sounds to me like you might be in need of some time free boyfriend's new-found religious zeal. He will appreciate your in someone. Although your embarrassment over your attach- of university life's “social whirl”, and canine incontinence. emotional generosity. If you can engage with his faith, and by ment to this member of staff is understandable, you will feel Therefore may I suggest that you consider life after doing so explain how you feel, you may be surprised at some much better once you get this story out in the open. You may university, and begin to make some other benefits too. Explain your fears, and consider supple- also find that a more public display of affection may help him preparations for entering the world of menting them with a few useful biblical quotations; Genesis make his feelings more clear. Speak to your tutor about how work. Go and become a hermit. Not 24:2 “Go forth and multiply” and 1 Corinthians 7:5 “So do not you feel. Resolving these feelings may take time, and face-to- only would you be putting your feet deprive each other of sexual relations.” If these do not help, face contact may prove increasingly difficult to sustain. By squarely on the first rung of the lad- remind him how strongly you feel for him, and reference noting his home address and telephone number you can der toward a successful self- Timothy 2:22 “Run from anything which stimulates youthful ensure frequent contact. If a grand gesture is required, why employed career, you would also be lust.” If it seems that you have no option but a hasty break-up, not fall to your knees and confess your love in a seminar? I'm selflessly protecting the rest of us from or immediate marriage, remember the words of St. Paul in 1 sure your seminar colleagues will appreciate your sharing the risk that social leprosy may be con- Corinthians 7:26 “I think it is best to remain just as you are.” attitude. tagious.

Joyful, joyful, Yours, with a fluffy centre, Always yours (and anyone else's), Uncle Matthew Uncle Matthew Uncle Matthew www.NOUSE.co.uk Check out the improved Nouse website, with: Podcasts - subscribe to News and Muse podcasts with digests of the main stories, features and reviews Events listings - find and submit listings of campus events and productions Comments - read what people are saying about the latest articles Porters petition - sign Nouse’s open letter to save our porters Plus all the stories and pictures from this and previous editions Keep an eye out for more improvements in the near future Nouse meeting tonight: Come along to our meeting at 6.30pm tonight in W/307 to discuss this edition, meet the editorial team and get involved in the next edition of Nouse 06/03/07 Satire M17 AndreasMasoura Pornography and weaponry: boys’ toys for YUSU and OTC

in York and the Rugby team merely who drives everywhere, the vegan ignored. Our boys in York exists so that “gays can get together should take a step back and reassess the YUSU’s online forum is a prime without having to tell their dads.” whole situation. If they don’t eat a par- example of free expression through the Given the generally reserved and pre- Hiding your craving for man-love is ticular animal, someone like me most medium of pornography. The links vary dominantly politically correct culture always hard to keep from your dad, so certainly will. My teeth were in quality, but you’ll probably find that pervades the University, I wasn’t maybe they have a point. But I have to designed for such activity and I’ll something for just about every taste. If surprised at the sheer outrage that met question their “hardness”. I doubt the continue to carry it out until all ani- in doubt, email President Croker for the York University Officer Training entire York contingent could even mals and humans run out. Perhaps more details. Apparently, YUSU have Corps’ decision to host a ‘German’ match an eight-year-old West African vegans should try the Central already performed a live show in Social. Only weeks after Goodricke child soldier. African diet and then will be able to Ziggy’s, featuring a guest appearance College’s ‘Stella Artois’ sports social was Even so, I think that the two soci- appreciate their privileged position, from the rugby team. Watch out for Part pulled because a certain female found it eties ought to fight it out in Ziggy’s one in which they can II later on this week. distastefully offensive, the University this Wednesday. Since violence choose what to eat Officers’ Training Corps have done it in York has been at a shame- rather than moralis- Back to the ‘50s again. ful all-time low recently, ing to the rest of us By dressing up as German soldiers this could create some on the basis of eat- and concentration camp victims and excitement, as well as ing straw and You may not be aware of this, but this mock executing a prisoner in their bar- providing a necessary organic peas. week is Women’s Week. It aims to raise racks, the soldiers are merely amusing deterrent for any awareness of important women’s issues, themselves distastefully, a crime that I, mouthy public school Rabbi-gate particularly cooking and cleaning. nor the majority of the student popula- boys (usually recog- Monday’s international cookery course tion, cannot honestly say I have never nisable by their will be followed by Tuesday’s ‘Good committed without an element of igno- extremely skinny The appear- Wife Guide’. Wednesday will feature rant hypocrisy. I find soldiers who kill public schoolboy ance of an anti- lectures highlighting the importance of people offensive, but I’m not going to legs) whose shel- Zionist Rabbi at the bra-wearing. Skin is surprisingly cry about it. Given the fact that the tered lives have University has, once again, stretchy, or so I’m told. Think of it as a British Army’s world-wide popularity is rendered them caused much tension, future investment, ladies. not particularly high at the moment, fearless. since he is a figure who has however, I’d suggest that they concen- been accused of Pioneers of campus news trate on how to avoid being ambushed Misplaced Holocaust denial and by Iraqi militants, rather than showing views Israel as a regime off the British Army’s highly efficient morals that should not exist. Congratulations must go to Vision this execution skills. Given that we are at uni- week. Their recent edition demonstrat- I suggest that the University of I have a growing versity, free expression ed some pioneering journalism. Not York reassess its admissions policy to concern with the and debate is probably having found enough actual news to fill ensure that fewer idiots with guns are increasing number of healthy, maybe even their four-page slot, Vision took it upon let in. According to their Facebook vegans on campus. essential. Any attempt themselves to stage a radical protest. group, the UOTC are the “hardest Very much like the or desire to curb it That their ‘24-hour protest’ lasted drinking and hardest fighting” people environmentalist should simply be about three? Well, bless ‘em for trying.

FILLING IN THE GAPS Nicky Woolf

Winter is beginning to turn into spring. The ful YUSU no-hopers, whose responsibility it porn.” At least Rich Croker’s pornography mummy Telegraph, the University no longer crocuses are out, the days are getting longer will soon be to hold the University adminis- collection is one university archive that’s has enough money to teach or do new and brooding geese are roaming the campus tration to their word next year, as well as to being put to good use.. research. (In fact, I suspect this must be why in packs, like small velociraptors, hissing at represent almost ten thousand York stu- Which is more than can be said for that they are trying to retrain students as clean- everything and picking off the weakest or dents, announce their manifesto promises to of the library. Dramatic and wonderful new ing staff. At least that way they’ll leave here most hungover to tear apart and eat under- all four of those students who could be both- scrolls found! Well, yes, jolly well done. But with some marketable skills.) What did neath Vanbrugh bridge. The University is ered to turn up to hustings, the current only because you’d managed to lose them a Harrison think he was achieving? Did he reopening some of the porters’ lodges (hur- YUSU team are keeping themselves busy few weeks ago. Ancient scrolls found in... the think the Telegraph, with its fifty-something rah!) like they should have been doing all seeking out and compiling a frankly excel- library archives? Um, duh? That’s where we environmentally pollutant readership, would along (uh, hurrah?), at some point lent selection of hardcore pornography on keep all the ancient scrolls, isn’t it? I sup- care that his tutors didn’t think he was (hurr..ah...), probably (hmm), and with the their own website for maximum convenience pose it’s not entirely the library’s fault, worth very much of their time? exception of Langwith (oh dear). Poor old and ease of use. though. Talk of childishness brings me neatly on Langwith. With nobody around to look after “Welcome to the University of York! We Recent budget cuts have meant they’re to the Officer Training Corps’s recent the drunken Langwith students any more, are your Studen’ Union sabbatical team, and lucky if they are able to afford lighting as shenanigans. Dressing up, putting on face- it’s just as well that they’re losing their bar it is our duty and our pleasure to make sure well as heating and books, let alone ground- paint, wielding toy guns and running around too. that your time here at York is as pleasant, as breaking new research. The Stockholm in the woods in the dark shouting “Bang! If the University puts as much gusto productive, and as fun as it could possibly Institute’s new research is just as obvious. Bang! You’re dead!” at each other? into finding new porters as they’ve been put- be. It is our job to ensure that you are safe “Fifty-somethings do the most damage to Newsflash, boys. That’s what ten-year-olds ting into finding the Welsh rugby fans who from harm, safe from prejudice and safe the environment.” I could have told you that. do. Except most ten-year-olds instinctively are merrily terrorising their way through from anything which could cause you offence Fifty-somethings do the most damage to the know that dressing up as concentration Derwent, we should have normal portering or mar your university experience. Here, environment because that is the age-group camp guards and victims constitutes naugh- services back some considerable while after check this website out. It’s a woman having Jeremy Clarkson falls into. Another shoe- tiness and that putting a video of you execut- the apocalypse, no matter how many naked sex with a snake and a pony at the same string-budget theory, then. Clap clappity ing your friends on YouTube is likely to get circuits of campus Derwent exhibitionists time. Hardcore girl-on-girl action your clap. Have a cookie. your pocket money docked for a month. Get and their chums do. thing? We are the LGBT reps, and if you’d Perhaps it is because, as Jamie Harrison it together, kids. You might be in the army Meanwhile, as this year’s crop of hope- like to click this link you’ll find some lesbian went to such pains to run and tell big some day. M18 Arts 06/03/07 ArtsReviews

BOOK:THE DEAD OF SUMMER AUTHOR: CAMILLA WAY Fusion: bright lights and lingerie PUBLISHER: HARPER COLLINS PRICE: £6.99 The biggest and most extravagent campus event of the year has REVIEW: KIRRAN SHAH ✪✪✪✩✩ come and gone. Amy Scott takes a look at the highs and lows

Written from the viewpoint of a neg- usion, campus’s self-proclaimed lected adolescent, Way's blunt use of biggest event, got a little bigger description is striking. Think Anita and this year, with the dance and Me by Meera Syal, but much less hope- Ffashion extravaganza spread ful. Anita’s mother dies of a “well kept over two nights for the first time. secret” and her reaction is vividly realis- Fusion, so-called because of the tic; “they found me kneeling, screaming mix of societies involved, has always still, trying to shake her awake.” been an urban-themed event, but this Astoundingly upfront about the com- year the organisers shook things up. plex dejection and melancholy of each Music Director Tom Rogers says, “this character, it is certainly not an idealistic year’s music is more versatile than last story, set in the gloomy boatyards and year’s as it covers the development of scrap heaps of South London in 1986. urban music from tribal music through Way has an original voice, but is far jazz, burlesque, funk and hip-hop.” too grim and vacant. Anita recounts a Hosted by the hilarious (intention- tragic childhood, full of murder and ally and otherwise) Mr Milk and visit- mystery among the abandoned chalk ing rapper Archie, the show got off to an and sand mines of Greenwich. Way impressive start with a tribal dance reports this via police interviews in the from the African and Caribbean Society, future, with constant flashbacks to keep followed by an all-too-brief perform- the reader speculating. ance from Capoeira. Despite Anita’s blatant desponden- Next we moved to cabaret and jazz, cy, the story is compelling. Way offers a featuring a slightly out-of-context set new perspective on her protagonist, a including Beyonce and the Pussycat quiet girl who avoids relationships at all Dolls, with performances from the costs until she meets the rebellious Burlesque Girls. Next came the first Kyle. performance from the trapeze artists as Fusion 2007 In an event of this magnitude, it is hard cism combined with aesthetics. I am not convinced that this was ‘a well as lingerie modeling. The performers to believe that one person could steal At the two-hour stage it would be modern classic in the making’. Its lin- Burlesque was sexy without being the show, but stolen it was by Jerome fair to say that the audience were guistic simplicity belies the bleak nature sleazy, whilst the tap was refreshingly strut their stuff Edet with his turn as Michael Jackson. becoming restless, which is a shame as of its content. Interesting, if not exactly different and the trapeze stunning. The on stage. Photo: This section was simply stunning with the Oriental Centre’s section featured uplifting. only downside to this section was the Tom Hole, Edet holding court as a parade of zom- some attractive fashions including lingerie; after the talent of the dancers Photo Soc bies lurched down the stairs of Central parasols, fans and kimonos. This was CLASSIC BOOK REVIEW and gymnasts, the ability to walk in Hall. promptly followed by some unexpected BOOK: A ROOM WITH A VIEW underwear was a bit of a let-down. So we found ourselves at the pres- body-popping Phantom of the Operas Next on to early hip-hop and funk ent day, with a Pharell-esque star being dancing to Justin Timberlake. Next AUTHOR: E.M. FORSTER with breakdance squad Gravity Control mobbed by girls, then some modern came an edgy fashion scene which con- PUBLISHER: PENGUIN and the street dancers. The arrival of fashion and a large DanceSoc sequence. cluded with models posed behind a wire Gravity Control summed up the main This was followed by the arrival of Pole fence – the most powerful image of the PRICE: £7.99 problem I had with Fusion as a whole; Exercise, who had rather a lot night. This was followed by a ‘Stomp’- REVIEW: SARAH STRETTON the juxtaposition of impressively of equipment to get on stage, esque sequence which would have been diverse talent with people walking but impressed all with their more enjoyable earlier in the night, but ✪✪✪✪✩ around looking attractive. The societies unique blend of strength and still shone. Finally we moved to the are clearly full of incredibly able and style. We also saw the return future with a striking post-apocalyptic A Room with a View, described by skilful performers and it is these sec- of the trapeze artists, who ballet featuring Edet alongside fellow Forster as his happiest novel, is set tions that deserve the bulk of perform- were magnifi- choreographer Jo Gledhill and a closing around the vibrant and energetic city of ance time. The prevalence given to cent, their Matrix-inspired sequence. Florence and so achieves this through urban dance routines over Capoeira, tap seemingly And so the night drew to a close. its environment alone. dancers, salsa, break dancers death-defying Overall, Fusion was a massively suc- It charts the emancipation of Lucy and the trapeze artists sug- stunts made all cessful event and all involved must be Honeychurch, a repressed yet curious gests that Fusion’s organisers the more impres- congratulated for their hard work and product of the 19th-century upper-mid- are missing a trick. sive by their grace the amount of money they raise for dle class. The book depicts Lucy's strug- After the interval, and some and glamour. This charity each year. For future perform- gles to grow from indecision to fulfill- technical hitches involving is what Fusion does ances, however, it would be nice to see a ment. Through the visual landscape Fusion’s beneficiary charities Hope best - athleti- little more focus on the many and var- and culture of Italy, Forster attempts to and Aid Direct and InterAct, we ied niche performers who were truly the remove the shackles of 'Englishness' returned to the late ‘80s and early ‘90s. stars of this year’s show. and suggest the possibilities of individual exploration and experience. Lucy’s journey is encouraged by George Emerson, part of the social periphery, who represents freedom. CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS WHAT’S ON: DRAMA BARN Their relationship reflects the struggle between Victorian values and a new lib- Would you like to exhibit your art on cam- Women Beware Women eral outlook. George acts as a disarming pus? The Norman Rea Art Gallery in Week 9: Thursday March 8 - Sunday March 11 influence on Lucy, encouraging her to Langwith College is holding a month-long Directed by Matthew Lacey, produced by Helen Fletcher break free from her enclosed world. exhibition and we need you to submit your Yet Forster creates barriers to this art work on the theme of MOVEMENT. The The Fire Raisers (rescheduled), in Lucy's elderly spinster cousin and her exhibition will commence on May 26 and Week 10: Friday March 16 - Sunday March 18 fiancé, a consistent source of irritation submissions should be received by May 9. Dircted by Mark McDaid, produced by Adam Formby and frustration to the unexpressed love Pieces should be a maximum size of 30” by of George and Lucy. This novel incorpo- 30”. If you would like to exhibit sculpture rates many of the characteristics of please contact us as soon as possible.on Tickets £3 on Thursday, £3.50 members/£4.50 non- modern popular novels in its themes of [email protected] members Friday to Sunday love, struggle and self-expression. 06/03/07 Theatre M19 TheatreReviews Sarah Jefferies talks to the writers Amy Scott previews a Riding Lights of controversial new play Blame collaboration with the York Theatre Royal

lame is a new play premiering culture that sees that part of the popu- slave trader John Newton, later known at the York Theatre Royal, lation as to blame for everything”. The for writing the hymn ‘Amazing Grace’. written by the critically- production itself is not naturalistic, The production stars Israel Bacclaimed duo of writer and with an ‘epic’ and ‘multilayered’ nature Oyelumade as Equiano and features broadcaster Beatrix Campbell and with plays on devices of time and space; original music from writer Ben Okafor. social worker and commentator Judith however, Judith is keen to reiterate its The production is timed to coincide Jones. Following their first play, And ‘authenticity’. This is a play based on the with the 220th anniversary of the All the Children Cried they have turned writers’ real experiences, and the voices Abolition of the Slave Trade Act and their attentions to the decline of the and plights of the characters exist in hopes to add its voice to the worldwide British working class; in particular, the reality. The plot surrounds the disap- call for the abolition of modern slavery. crisis of child poverty in ‘a biting exposé pearance of an eight-year-old child and The play was commissioned by the of Britain’s new underclass’. the resulting search, not just for her, but Church Mission Society, founded in The play is a part of ‘the renais- also for who is responsible. 1799 by representatives of the aboli- sance of political theatre’, and with a Who is to blame, within the walls tionist movement including prominent recent United Nations report putting of the play and within the social world? campaigner William Wilberforce. Britain at the bottom of a list of 21 As the writers say, “It will be for the Dr. John Sentamu, Archbishop of countries on child welfare, the time has audience to decide. We’ll just let the York, believes the project to be impor- come for people to take notice of these characters speak.” They also reiterate tant: “Here’s a play that turns history issues. When questioned on the role of Blame’s relevance to students; they into a pulsating human story. It could the media as a protagonist in this crisis, want to hear students’ views on it and ork Theatre Royal and local African Snow be yours. It could be mine. We begin to Beatrix raised the undeniably common would “be very happy to talk”. As a char- Riding Lights Theatre premieres at understand the past when we recognise view that “the poor are a class to be acter in the play says: “Look behind it, Company are collaborating for the York that it is about real human beings like maligned and mocked, they are a look beyond what you can see”. I think Ythe first time this spring with a Theatre Royal us. That way we better understand not national joke. Whilst the media is by no this could be a lesson we should all new play, African Snow, written by Ben only where we have come from but means responsible, it compounds the learn from the play. Blame is showing Okafor. The play tells the true story of on March 30 what we are doing now and where we existing sense that they are ‘a class not from March 3 to 17. Talk-backs follow- an 18th-century Nigerian, Olaudah are heading.” worthy of our concerns’.” ing the performance will take place on Equiano, who, after being sold into African Snow will run from Friday As described by Beatrix, they March 7 and 14. Tickets cost £5 for stu- slavery, managed to buy his own free- March 30 until April 2 at the Theatre unfortunately fit into “an overarching dents. dom and travel the world and that of Royal, followed by a national tour.

PRODUCTION: STONE COLD DEAD SERIOUS PRODUCTION:THE GLASS MENAGERIE PRODUCTION: PIRATES OF PENZANCE VENUE:THE DRAMA BARN VENUE: DRAMA BARN VENUE: CENTRAL HALL REVIEW: RINA NALUMOSO REVIEW: HOLLY WILLIAMS REVIEW: STACEY GO DATE: 15/02/07 - 18/02/07 DATE: 09/02/07 - 11/02/07 DATE: 15/02/07 - 17/02/07 ✪✪✪✪✩ ✪✪✪✩✩ ✪✪✪✪✩

Dysfunctionality, addiction, to win the competition is the Emma Miles’s production of ter. Her nervous endeavors I haven’t laughed as hard at such as the Major General class, racism and religion are thread keeping the play Tennessee Williams’s The to entertain him had a light- any production as Pirates of who is knowledgeable about some of the ‘issues’ thrown together. The strong visual Glass Menagerie was ideally ness of touch rendered Penzance. We meet everything except the mili- up in this DramaSoc produc- pictures ranged from tender suited to the Barn’s intima- comic by underlying desper- Frederick, a young man who tary and the pirates them- tion of Stone Cold Dead scenes of Wynne and his girl- cy; the play claustrophobi- ation. Anna Pinkstone was - due to a misunderstanding selves who don’t live up to Serious. Intertwined with friend standing wrapped in a cally takes place in a house restrained as daughter - becomes apprentice to the their stereotypical swash- the incredibly dark social sit- duvet to the riveting in which a mother and her Laura, slightly physically Pirate King, leader of the buckling and aggression. uations which writer Adam entrance of drug-addicted two children are psychologi- handicapped – and emotion- ‘Pirates of Penzance’. They release orphans, which Rapp raises is the story of 15- Shaylee (Niamh Walsh), cally and financially trapped. ally handicapped, too, by However, with his inden- of course results in everyone year-old Wynne Ledbetter unable to keep still for a During the first half- intense shyness. tures over, he intends to they capture claiming to be (Ed Watson), who is desper- minute as she rifles through hour the pace was stilted and One directorial decision escape the world of piracy parentless. ate to win a Samurai compe- her family home for money. the dialogue clunky. hampered the production: and destroy his former com- From inept policemen tition. He perfects his hilari- The ensemble cast gave However, the cast later the inclusion of the unneces- rades. Having met a beauti- to the giggling maidens ous mantras such as “when a some terrific performances. found their feet, with a par- sary and usually ignored ful maiden, Mabel, his plan Frederick encounters on snake drinks water it The rollercoaster of hilarity ticularly notable portrayal of projections. These clarified backfires when he finds he shore, the cast worked con- becomes poison”, much to provided by the first act was Amanda Wingfield by Steph obvious symbolisms or high- was born on a leap year, so tinually to keep the audience the bemusement of his inca- enough to smoothly allow us Burton, capturing the ten- lighted important lines, in a will only be freed from his laughing. Perhaps what has pacitated father and irrita- to tolerate the sudden drop sions between Amanda’s way that was patronising apprenticeship when he is in contributed to the lasting tion of his overworked, in tempo of the second. neurotic motherly concerns and even accidentally comic. his 80s. endurance of Pirates of underpaid mother. Directed by William and attempts to put on a The fact that it looked like a Witty and irreverent, Penzance is its endearing The Barn was trans- Bowry, this production has brave face. She found come- PowerPoint presentation in the production is brimming characters, even the pirates. formed into the Ledbetters’ just been chosen for this dy in the role too, especially Arial type didn’t help and with humorous dialogue and I came out of Central Hall sitting room, a car and, final- year’s NSDF festival, and when her son brings home a undermined Miles’s subtler hilarious songs. The charac- with a smile on my face and ly, a hospital. Wynne’s desire deservedly so. ‘gentleman caller’ for his sis- moments of direction. ters possess unique traits, unable to stop singing. M20 Music 06/03/07 MusicPreviews

SHOW: NEW FOLK SEASON SHOW: MAXIMO PARK SAM VENUE: BLACK SWAN FOLK CLUB VENUE: LEEDS UNIVERSITY UNION NOBLE PREVIEW: STEPHEN MITCHELL PREVIEW: OLIVER ELLIOTT DATE: ENDS 19/07/07 DATE: 24/04/07 Rock ‘n’ Roll ✪✪✪✪✩ ✪✪✪✪✩ Suicide Undeniably, folk music conjures up certain In an era and genre where many bands are images: Arran sweaters, earlobe-finger inter- consumed and thrown away within a matter Pop music should come with a health warn- action and troops of face-painted men wield- of months, Maxïmo Park are one of the great ing: in extreme cases, leads to complete bald- ing wooden sticks and waving cotton han- indie survivors. Their first LP, A Certain headed, cocaine guzzling and pill-popping kies. Unfortunate, but inescapable facts. Yet, Trigger, was hailed as one of the best releas- insanity. Britney Spears for example. There’s be not hasty- when York's Black Swan Folk es in a year which also gave the masses Bloc nothing new about this Valhalla-style deca- Club introduces its Spring/Summer pro- Party, The Rakes and The Futureheads. dence in which each generation’s pop royalty gramme, it would be plain daft to dismiss off- All of these bands have had to face the indulges with increasing ingenuity and inno- hand some of the most unique and enjoyable daunting challenge of following through with vation. Bizarre sexual practises, narcotic live experiences to be had in our fair town. their initial success. We don't know whether over-indulgence and hotel trashing - it’s all The programme will provide weekly Maxïmo Park will be able to live up to the been done before. events on Thursday evenings, both at the weight of expectation with their sophomore So who would have thought that the NCEM and in the impressive surroundings album, Our Earthly Pleasure, released next blonde-headed schoolgirl, gyrating in her of the Black Swan Inn's tapestry-laden Wolfe month, but so far the signs have been good. uniform, would shave her head on a cocktail Room, already home to assorted aural offer- Maximo’s Paul Smith gets a little into it First single, the solid if unadventurous, ‘Our of drugs and booze and ink her nubile skin? ings on a near nightly basis. Acts vary from Velocity’, has seen substantial radio airplay, Did she think the tattoos and lack of hair traditional to original, British to American, vide more intimacy and passion in each song and when tickets went on sale for this tour, would reinvigorate her career the way JT’s Folk to Country and all points in between. than can be found in a hundred James Blunt they sold out in minutes. gangster tats and short-back-and-sides has? Amongst the musical patchwork purveyed albums. Regular ‘open mic’ nights provide a Partly thanks to their rowdy perform- Stranger things have happened. Luckily, in include some of the younger bands and suitably chorus-driven equivalent to drunken ances, the Geordie quintet have earned a Popland the right PR agent can usually coax singers updating acoustic music for the karaoke or the near-paralytic wails accompa- devoted following- in 2006 they even head- a comeback camel through the smallest twenty-first century: Spiers & Boden provide nying a typical Wednesday night on the lined at Reading Festival’s NME stage. The proverbial needle of credibility - cue the a fresh, energetic take on traditional songs at town. All guest nights at the Black Swan are lead singer, Paul Smith, apparently discov- Greatest Hits. Fortunately for the divas (but the NCEM on March 13 and the University of priced between £5 and £8. To clarify, the ered by the band singing drunkenly in their maybe not us), the troughs in their lives lead York’s OK Brandy perform their own inter- equivalent of the customary treble at Nags local pub, is also known for his Morrissey- to peaks in notoriety and record sales. pretations and compositions near the end of and an Oki's burger. style dancing and his insistence on reading But when the girl-next-door indulges in June. So, if you're interested in trying some- lyrics out of a little red book whilst on stage. such extreme bald-headed exuberance, we Equally, if introspection is your obses- thing a little different from Mr Brightside This combination of quintessential must examine the pop world they inhabit sion, there are many fine singer-songwriters and the traditional Tuesday night trek to British eccentricity and post-punk music that can provoke such insanity. Pressures of that will visit the Swan's upper room over the Toffs, take a short sojourn further down the should make for a fun experience. And, of childhood fame, money, regular hounding next few months. Acts such as Kieran Stonebow to the Black Swan. I assure you it course, Leeds can always be relied upon for a from the paparazzi and being adored are all Halpin, John McCormick and Bob Fox pro- will be an eye-opening experience. good night out. obvious justifications for pearly-headed men- talism. In the sugar-coated child-marketed world of pop, self-expression and personality are on the backburner. But this is the price of ON THE UP: THE YOUNG KNIVES Ben Rackstraw fame: celebrity is more important than credibility. Britney is one of those rare cultural As I speak to The Young Knives, creative freedom that success icons whose first name has become a house- the threesome behind last year's brings. House agrees and reveals hold brand, synonymous with blonde hair indie-punk smash The Voices of that the new album will be “a lot (well, it was) and Barbie-like features. More Animals and Men, they are less poppy than the last one. often than an album release, we instead see preparing for their last gig on Although the sense of melody the pop princess as a highly paid mouthpiece British soil before heading and the harmonies are still for Pepsi or Coca-Cola, or even supporting across the Atlantic for a series of there, there are some minor keys the Iraq war and that lame-duck incumbent dates in America. “In theory,” and we have reigned in the silli- Bush. It affirms for me that all the waffle that says House of Lords, bassist and ness.” pop stars espouse as nice, girl-next-door brother of lead singer Henry Not entirely though; as well types is nonsense. Dartnall, “but we're having a bit as revealing that “we are idiots, The levels of notoriety scramble your of trouble with our American when it comes down to it, and brains something rotten - there are too many visas.” we can't write serious lyrics fame casualties to argue otherwise: Michael If they manage to overcome without putting in a stupid line,” Jackson, Keith Moon, Judy Garland, Ozzy this minor setback, the band House comments on the clues Osbourne, to name but a few. And I name should be set for success. Riding for the location of buried treas- these few because they all had, and for little the wave that propelled them to ure hidden in the b-side to last Michael and Britney, may still have, oodles of the top of indie charts last October's single 'The Decision'. talent. It affirms what Beyoncé said (again, August with hits like 'Bleak Days “We went and checked it the too famous to warrant a surname): “it’s hard and Nights (Hot Summer)', they other day and it's still there. I've to be taken seriously as a talented performer have been hard at work on their got a feeling nobody will ever and be beautiful.” follow-up. “We've spent the last find it, the person who came up So is Britney clawing back some credi- two months in a studio in my with the clues is well into their bility, if she ever had it, via a lack of blonde, brother's house, and we've got crosswords, Greek mythology instantly identifiable Britney follicles? Or is the best part of an album,” and stars.” On a more hopeful she, like so many others, hooked and od’ing explains House and, suggesting note he adds, “maybe someone on the fame drug? Despite your explosive how the band's sound might will find the single in a charity phoenix-in-flames self-destruction, we still change: “some of the singles shop in 10 years time and work love you Britney - perhaps even a tad more. from the last album were songs it out. It's worth it!” We can’t blame you and the other skinny that we thought were just jokes, Back to the matter in hand, blondes for taking to drugs, booze and breezy but when we took them to pro- what's their plan for cracking new haircuts as a refuge from the insanity of ducers they were like ‘this is America? “We're going to be the pop world that you make your substantial great!’ We've enjoyed playing horribly English, wander round living from. I can’t confess to having an them, but they're not what we in bowler hats and win them extensive knowledge of your music. But I’m really envisaged.” over with our English charm.” sure they are glistening pop nuggets polished It seems like the popularity Lets hope so, because they'll be to such a sacchrine sheen that, even you, or throwaway nature of singles bringing that charm and their princess-on-a-pedestal Britney, could even- like 'She's Attracted To' has collection of new songs back for tually get sick. Get well soon. allowed the band to enjoy the a UK tour in late March. 06/03/07 Music M21 MusicReviews

gig was an emphatic denial of what many had BAND: REGINA SPEKTOR feared since the release of her new album, VENUE: SHEFFIELD LEADMILL Begin To Hope, that Regina had become an SINGLES obliging major label moppet, with a more REVIEW: ROBIN SEATON smoothed-out, palatable sound. There were DATE: 20/02/07 certainly enough old songs here, sung with REVIEWS all the old whoops, ‘a-ooh-a’s and pseudo- ✪✪✪✪✪ orgasmic ‘Regin-AH!’s, to satisfy the old fans. However, there was also a more ominous The ‘ooh-isn’t-she-quirky-let’s-sing-along- suggestion of how things might look in the BAND: SIX NATION STATE like-we’re-at-an-Oasis-gig’ brigade was out future. Half way through the gig, Regina was SINGLE:WHERE ARE YOU NOW? in irritating force at the Leadmill. In contrast joined by a fairly superfluous (and bored- to Regina Spektor’s last tour, the atmosphere looking) band, who only served to squeeze One of Jonathan Ross's favourite new bands. was one of raucous adulation rather than some of the individuality out of her songs. Does this say it all? Not really. Cuter and jol- hushed reverence, which detracted some- Their technically proficient but uninspired lier than their wavy-haired celebrity fan, the what from Spektor’s performance. playing added nothing but superfluous noise single bounces around on a Space-Hopper Nonetheless, she remains an arresting and to the songs, and masked her usual vocal beat through childhood memories of the magnetic performer, albeit one with an ador- acrobatics. British ska revival and its American counter- ing and easily satisfied audience. For the Despite her three-man hindrance, part. As it hits the cruel, cruel tarmac of the most part, the Leadmill audience would have Regina still held the audience in the palm of modern indie scene, new wave guitar makes been satisfied to watch her beat a chair with her hand, reprising ‘Sailor Song’ and others. sure it carries on nicely. Wherever Six Nation a stick, as she in fact did on occasion. After an encore comprising the expansive State are at the moment, it certainly sounds Endearingly, she was more than happy beauty of ‘Us’, in which Regina’s true vocal delightfully sunny. to put the show on hold to help look for the range was allowed to ring out, she finished batteries from a camera which an audience with ‘Love, You’re A Whore’, weirdly sound- BAND: BONDO DO ROLE member had just dropped over the barrier, ing like an alt.folk Loretta Lynn; a combina- SINGLE: SOLTA O FRANGO especially since she had just asked everyone tion that makes a lot more sense than might to stop using their flashes. In some sense, this be expected. Now that CSS have thrown open the door for sublime Brazilian party music, we are surely in for countless treats like this, the debut single from South Brazilian three-piece Bondo Do Role. Opening with a blippy electronic pulse not a million miles away from '21 Seconds' the track collapses beautifully into a cacophany of whooping, beats and Portugese rapping. The Music team is split as to whether this sounds like the best party ever or the Tellytubbies on crack, and if the latter is, necessarily, a bad thing. BAND: GISLI SINGLE: LONG WAY DOWN

First Brazil, now Iceland; Bjork and Sigur Ros have set the tone for quirky inventive- ness and floaty atmospherics, which emerg- ing artist Gisli is now displaying with a sim- BAND:THE SOUNDS BAND: ARCADE FIRE SHOW:THE GOSSIP ilar level of national talent in the field of indie-pop. Whimsical lyrics with a dash of ALBUM: DYING TO SAY THIS TO YOU ALBUM: NEON BIBLE VENUE: LEEDS METROPOLITON politics means that this is a sound to rival REVIEW: BEN RACKSTRAW REVIEW: SAM NOBLE REVIEW: ALICE GREGSON the Shins' latest efforts, but inventive use of OUT: 21/03/07 OUT: 05/05/07 DATE: 26/02/07 what sounds like Bertha the big green machine sets it apart. ✪✪✪✩✩ ✪✪✪✪✪ ✪✪✪✪✩

BAND: DEFTONES Ooh, the 80s! Since 'opinion' decided that it Canadian Francophiles just know how to After deep-throating her microphone, Beth SINGLE: MEIN was a good decade for music, we have been write good music. A Silver Mt Zion, The Ditto has something to confirm; "Leeds, inundated by the posturing electronics that Dears and Arcade Fire: seamless, skilful cre- we're coming out!" And what better way to Dissonance? Brooding intensity? The emo- define whatever notion of late 80s nostalgia ators of epiphany-inducing noise. Maybe do it than exploding into camp anthem 'Lady tive, experimental rock that is the Deftones' is currently cool (which, Brandon Flowers, is debut Funeral was a fluke, a one-trick pony Marmalade'. Hey sister, go sister indeed; stock in trade is starting to sound a little never Bruce Springsteen). However, this that got even David Bowie salivating. But despite not being your average-sized lead dated. Despite repeated claims by critics that range seems insufficient for Sweden's The Ziggy needn’t worry - Neon Bible is an out- singer, Ditto struts about the stage with the the band are superior to the sounds of the Sounds, who somehow manage to squeeze standing album that’ll easily keep us mortals confidence of an inflated Freddie Mercury late-90s nu-metal explosion, the first band influences from three decades into Dying to enthralled after many listens. and the sold-out crowd power her strides that this single brings to mind is Limp Bizkit, Say This to You. The opening thudding piano beat and with applause. minus the fun (which was, let's face it, the Opener 'Song with a Mission' takes 90s shimmering violins of ‘Black Mirror’ screams Her need to apologise for her lost-suit- only good bit). This is the sound of a band girl-bands Republica and Echobelly and Arcade Fire. The production is airtight, case inspired outfit is in vain - the audience’ll taking themselves far too seriously. devours them with a massive pop chorus whilst maintaining a warm rustic sensibility appease The Gossip for as long as it takes to seemingly designed to make you strut. Our only achieved from recording on ole’ decrepit play 'Standing In the Way of Control' (victim BAND: ARCHIE BRONSON OUTFIT own decade gets a nod on 'Tony the Beat' analogues in converted gothic churches - to relentless play on C4’s Skins adverts) SINGLE: DART FOR MY SWEETHEART where Strokes-influenced guitar and drums naturally. Indeed, the album does betray a which, let's face it, is the real reason why this twist and turn into a cacophony of blippy, fervent preacher-esque dynamism. gig is sold out tonight. Yet, the naïve audience Don't let the boarderline emo name throw synthy 80s pop sounds. Elsewhere, 'Painted ‘No Cars Go’ and ‘(Antichrist Television soon realises that other gems do exist: 'Listen you, this is rock 'n' roll in the vein of The By Numbers' merges all of these influences Blues)’ have a desperate oomph, rendering Up' and 'Yr Mangled Heart' are both in a sim- Raconteurs or BRMC, with a na-nanana- together and creates something both nostal- them instantly catchy and infinitely playable. ilar vein to 'SITWOC’, whereas fellow band nana chorus that sounds like the chant of a gic and super-modern. ‘Oceans Of Noise’ shows a delicate side of the members Deep Purr and Hannah Billie religious sect devoted to the blues, guitars That said, the album does trail off band, deviating from a mid-tempo waltz into provide the perfect canvas to Ditto's powerful and beards. Achieving the sort of brooding towards the end, where the male vocals of a trumpet fanfare march: truly beautiful voice. But it’s a slower number, 'Coal to instensity that the Deftones single would sell 'Hurt You' seem weak in comparison to the stuff. The only snag is its similarity to their Diamonds' that showcases her bluesy, soulful its distortion pedal for, the third single from pure energy of female lead singer Maja debut; aggressively strummed guitars, snap- croon to its full potential. the band's second album 'Derdang Derdang' Ivarsson's efforts. The Sounds, then, would py drums, accordions. But if it ain’t broke, Sceptics may doubt the longevity of The is fantastic. appear to be a singles band, but this is no don’t fix it. Arcade Fire are honing and per- Gossip, basing it solely on the success of 'SIT- insult when the potential singles from this fecting their beautiful sound - urban yet pas- WOC’. However, if they continue to produce Singles this week were reviewed by Ben album are so promising. Even, I would ven- toral, aggressive yet delicate. An album of songs such as those played tonight, they'll Rackstraw, Sara Sayeed, Oliver Elliott, ture, a tad brilliant. bombastically biblical proportions. soon be at the top of everyone's cool list. Kathryn Bromwich and Steve Mitchell M22 Film 06/03/07 FilmReviews FILM: NOTES ON A SCANDAL commentary on unfurling events EDITOR’S by assiduously committing her DIRECTOR: RICHARD EYRE thoughts to a notebook. And what COMMENT STARRING: DAME JUDI DENCH thoughts they are: “She had CATE BLANCHETT nowhere to turn but to trusty old Bar,” she says of Sheba, sounding REVIEW: PAUL BECKER very much like Humbert Humbert RUNTIME: 92 MIN justifying his unlawful lust for Lolita; “by the time I had taken my David ✪✪✪✪✩ seat in the Gods, the opera was in Coates full progress” is her sardonic At the centre of Richard Eyre’s film description of a calamitous fight adaptation of Zoe Heller’s novel taking place in the Hart household. The British film industry is in great Notes on a Scandal is Barbara Yet, for all her sharpness of obser- shape. Aside from the highly visible Covett (Judi Dench), a crusty, aged vation she compulsively lies to her- detachment of British forces at the history teacher at a nondescript self, clinging to a very warped view Oscars, the past year has confirmed London school. Her name is of reality. the UK as a focal point of fresh aptonymonic and takes us back to We the audience should thank ideas and new faces. our very first lesson in basic psy- her for that; we are never exposed First-time feature directors chology under the tutelage of to the full extent of anguish and Paul Greengrass and Stephen Hannibal Lecter: “And what do we loneliness which fuels Barbara’s Frears have enjoyed phenomenal Covett, Clarice? – We Covett what quest for a soulmate. Her cat dies, and well-deserved recognition for we see every day…” New to the staff and there’s a glimpse of real grief; their work on United 93 and The is Sheba Hart (Cate Blanchett), but it switches to forboding in an Queen respectively, whilst the who teaches art and spontaneously instant when Barbara feels insuffi- strength and depth of the Best invites Barbara to lunch with her ciently comforted by Sheba. It is a Actress department have been family one day. Their strange rela- marvellously controlled perform- well-covered in the domestic press. tionship will provide the focus ance by Judi Dench: when she is likes of Barbara and Steven and rytelling constraints. The charac- To add to these achievements, throughout. told that the Harts never actually makes us understand a woman ters are so well drawn and acted Sacha Baron Cohen has enjoyed Sheba, as vulnerable as she is invited her to their summer house who feels trapped in “bourgeois that when a sort of jolly-good-cup- unbelievable critical success for beautiful, doesn’t resist for long in France, she merely gives a crisp bohemia”; mother to a disabled of-tea ending is tacked on it feels Borat; Clive Owen and Michael when a 15-year-old pupil named “Fine. I won’t come then.” She son, eager for a change. like a slight to their trials and tribu- Caine were masterful in Children of Steven starts determinedly to woo never lobbies for our sympathy, Patrick Marber’s script is ade- lations, a failure to take them seri- Men, a breathtaking British-based her; Barbara finds out and sets out making her the most appealing sort quately literary and cutting - a ously or at least an unwillingness to production; James McAvoy’s stock to use her new knowledge to deep- of anti-heroine. refreshing update on The accompany them on their way. continues to rise and even cultural en her friendship with Sheba, now Cate Blanchett, meanwhile, Bostonians, Henry James’ 19th- The film is given momentum exports like Ricky Gervais are able to base it on mutual secret- superbly at ease in the cloak of century study of repressed lesbian- by a breezy Philip Glass score and attracting attention across the sharing. Englishness, provides the right ism - but in its capacity as a cham- support by a solid Bill Nighy as Atlantic. She also provides a running kind of exoticism to captivate the berpiece, it suffers from typical sto- Sheba’s husband. It is a man behind the scenes, however, who is worthy of particular recognition. Neil Gaiman, best known for his genre-breaking FILM:THE GOOD SHEPHERD CLASSIC FILM:CABARET graphic novel series The Sandman, will this month see the cinematic DIRECTOR: ROBERT DE NIRO DIRECTOR: BOB FOSSE release of his print novel Stardust, STARRING: MATT DAMON STARRING: LIZA MINNELLI starring, amongst others, Robert De Niro, Clare Danes and our own ANGELINA JOLIE REVIEW: JOANNE NAYLOR Sir Ian McKellen and Ricky ALEC BALDWIN RUNTIME: 124 MINS Gervais. The plot summary is ROBERT DE NIRO hokey as all hell: a young man, on a ✪✪✪✪✪ journey of discovery, must retrieve REVIEW: STEPH CREWES a fallen star for his beloved, along RUNTIME: 160 MIN When a film is described as a ‘musi- the way learning the true meaning cal’, many will groan, while pictur- of love. God. But as with all ✪✪✪✩✩ ing cheesy scenes of men in tight Gaiman’s work – check out his col- trousers sliding over cars and laborations with Terry Pratchett This debut feature from actor women singing about the land- and his other movie to date, Robert De Niro is a passionate, scape. Cabaret, based on the 1966 Mirrormask – the journey is by far poetic and highly intelligent film, Broadway musical by Kander and the worthier part, and is certain to but is just too long. De Niro delves Webb, could not be further from provide some singularly original into the heart of America’s political this mould. It is a dark, seedy tale twists. With the aforementioned history, exploring the early years of of 1930s Berlin, set in the midst of cast in tow, it could be the sleeper the Central Intelligence Agency pre-World War II political unrest. hit of 2007. through the eyes of Edward Wilson tionship after Wilson is posted in Brian Roberts (Michael York), and behaviour. Stardust will also be a day of (a brilliantly stoic Matt Damon). In Berlin for the first 6 years of his life. an English academic, arrives in Minelli’s performance is pow- reckoning for director and fellow all of its ambitious 160 minutes, it As an important member of the Berlin to study for a Phd. He meets erful and energetic, winning her Brit Matthew Vaughn, in his sec- manages to take on American his- CIA, he is driven to mistrust by the Sally Bowles (Minnelli), an the Oscar for Best Actress in the ond feature here after the impres- tory from the 1920s to the election Red Scare, at the eventual cost of American cabaret singer at the Kit 1972 Academy Awards. Her per- sive but under-appreciated gang- of John F. Kennedy and the Bay of his family and his own ideals. Kat Club. The two contrast formances onstage are the most ster flick Layer Cake, which suf- Pigs in 1962. Jolie is dangerously miscast as sharply; Brian is reserved and Sally striking of the film, and the song fered from association with Edward Wilson is a morally the lovelorn, forgotten wife, living wild and “self-centred”. The rise of ‘Maybe This Time’, which she belts Vaughn’s Lock, Stock... collaborator conservative, intelligent young up to 50s values of home and fami- the Nazi party and the persecution out to the empty club will blow you Guy Richie. man who loves his country. After ly. Yet there is an interesting set of of Jews provides a brilliantly com- away. Michael York is the perfect While it may be a leap of faith witnessing his father’s suicide, he dualities between Edward’s rela- municated and sinister undercur- Englishman; sexy and charming, to convert Gaiman’s work into film, follows in his footsteps by joining tionship with his father, his son, rent to the film, progressing from superbly cast for this role. Joel Gray I believe that his talent as a writer is the Skull and Bones secret society and various male mentors. These the periphery of the story to a is involved with most of the musical enough to bridge the genre gap, as a Yale undergraduate. His include acclaimed actors Alec direct influence on the main char- numbers in this film, and his per- and is certainly worth seeking out. uptight character and shrewd Baldwin, Michael Gambon and an acters by the end. formance as the rather creepy Stardust goes on general release on awareness lead to recruitment by impressive Godfather-esque De Fosse cleverly sets the songs - Master of Ceremonies also won March 19. the Office of Strategic Services Niro. The Good Shepherd is a film all except one - on the Kit Kat Club him an Oscar. Post Script: after the Oscars (OSS, the antecedent of the CIA). about the lasting relationships stage, making the film more realis- The true quality of the film, last week, I weighed in with one In the meantime he marries the sis- between fathers and sons. Though tic as the characters don’t suddenly however, shines through in the cin- correct prediction out of four, the ter of one of his fellow Skull and overly complex, this is surpassed by burst into song and dance. The ematography; some of the shots are Best Actor gong for Forest Bones members, Clover (Angelina the rich textures and noir shadows songs still apply to the story, how- artistically beautiful, setting Whitaker. Congrats to Martin Jolie), and raises a son, with whom which infiltrate each scene with a ever, often making cynical observa- Cabaret apart from other classic Scorsese. It’s about time. he has a detached, awkward rela- haunting poetry. tions about the characters’ motives musicals. M23 Food and drink 06/03/07 Food&DrinkReviews bread coated with basil pesto and tomato, RESTAURANT: STRADA starts off your meal as it means to continue. ADDRESS: LOW PETERGATE For fans of seafood, the risotto all'aragosta e gameroni is not to be missed. Lobster and AVE. FOOD PRICE: £9.00 tiger prawns with garlic, chilli, white wine, AVE. DRINK PRICE: £4.00 thyme, Italian tomatoes and broad beans REVIEW: LAUREN MENZIES make a fantastic combination. For secondi, the bistecca di manzo (rib-eye steak with ✪✪✪✪✩ rocket and parmesan) is delicious. At £13.50, it's one of the pricier options on the menu but well worth the cash if you are willing to The opening of a new Italian restaurant in splurge. For a choice slightly more appealing town usually involves my spending an extor- to the average student tastebuds and bank tionate amount of money sampling the deli- balance, the pizza section offers a wide vari- cacies they have to offer, frittering away my ety of this classic Italian dish. The thin bases precious student loan on food with names I to the pizzas make a change from the last can't even pronounce. However, the opening pizza I ate, which was in a post-Ziggys frenzy of Strada was a completely different experi- in Fat Boys. In terms of desserts, one thing WHICH FUDGE? ence. For two hours on a cold Tuesday, this needs to be said here and one thing only: Italian eatery gave free samples of their food make sure you leave room. The small sample Luxurious, fudgey slices adorn the shelves of to anyone who cared to venture into the of tiramisu I tried left me wanting more and Jim Garrahy's Fudge Kitchen. So much imposing red building on Petergate. I kept left me wondering how amazing the fondente fudgy loveliness in a wide range of fudge-tas- my expectations low, anticipating a few al cacao (warm melting chocolate pudding) tic flavours begs the question, how to spoonfuls of some pasta coated in an overly would be. choose? To aid you in this complex decision, garlic sauce, but I was over the moon to find I left Strada feeling overly full, knowing you could watch a new batch of scrumptious a more extensive and extremely satisfying that I would return, although next time my fudge being made by the comedic young sample of their wide-ranging menu. purse may be leaving slightly lighter than it man in a straw hat as he banters with a bait- The tasty schiacciatella, homemade did on this occasion. ing crowd of sixteen-year-olds desperate for some free fudge. You may even be offered a taste of a particularly fudge-alicious flavour; RESTAURANT: DUSK RESTAURANT: ATE O’CLOCK RESTAURANT: EL PIANO or, you could read our guide to the luxurious ADDRESS: NEW STREET ADDRESS: HIGH OUSEGATE ADDRESS: GRAPE LANE fudgey slices offered by the Fudge Kitchen. That's right, at Nouse we have taken it upon AVE. FOOD PRICE: £5 AVE. FOOD PRICE: £12 AVE. FOOD PRICE: £12 ourselves to sample four of the delectable, AVE. DRINK PRICE: £2 AVE. DRINK PRICE: £3.20 AVE. DRINK PRICE: £3.50 mouthwatering, yet calorific fudge slices just REVIEW:TOM SIMON-NORRIS REVIEW: SAM WHITTAKER for you. REVIEW:WILL HEAVEN FLAVOUR: BELGIAN CHOCOLATE ✪✪✪✩✩ ✪✪✪✪✩ ✪✩✩✩✩ SWIRL

One of the more popular fudge slices and it is clear why. The rich taste of belgian chocolate combined with Jim Garrahy's delectable fudge recipe is divine. You can literally see the luxurious chocolate swirling amongst the vanilla-based fudge. An absolute must for any chocoholics, but some on the tasting panel found this a little too sweet and sickly for their liking. FLAVOUR: BOOZY FRUIT AND NUT

Alcohol and fudge. What more could you possibly ask for? However, this strong tasting fudge slice was almost too overpower- ing. The chunks of walnuts and raisins were surprisingly large and extremely delicious but the strong taste of rum was certainly not Dusk is a lively place on a weekday evening. Blink and you'll miss it, but nestled on High ‘I didn't want to buy a rug, but I ended up as delightful as the other fudgey flavours Popular with students and a slightly raffish Ousegate is a great little restaurant. Ate eating one,' were my thoughts as I left El available. middle-aged crowd, it will usually feature on O'Clock is rustically decorated with plenty of Piano, a quirky little restaurant on the corner a bar crawl - largely because of the two for wood, terracotta pottery and a collection of of Grape Lane near the Biltmore. I won’t be FLAVOUR:TRADITIONAL TOFFEE £4.50 offer on cocktails. old-fashioned clocks (all unmoving and set too harsh, the decor was culturally attractive But as a place to eat, it is overlooked. At to… you guessed it). There's a comfortable and I almost felt as if I'd made the trip over My personal favourite and also one of the lunchtime it was quiet, the wooden chairs not waiting area - Ate O’Clock books up at week- to Mexico, especially when the foreign wait- Fudge Kitchen’s best sellers. Creamy, looking quite as appealing as they had done ends, but you should get a table for lunch. ress misunderstood me and tried to add an smooth and truly a melt-in-your-mouth the night before. There wasn’t any sign of the The service was prompt and friendly, extra digit to my £14 bill. experience, Jim’s traditional toffee will not staff when we arrived, but when they did with unusual home-baked breads (we were The menu needed an Enigma machine, disappoint. If you are looking for tradition- appear we were well looked after. Our food offered coffee or apple flavour) to whet your though with a friend's help I managed to al flavour (perhaps this is your first venture came quickly and there was even an apology appetite. In fact, the entire menu is full of arrive at the decision of ordering buckwheat into the realm of fudge) rather than a more for the lack of lemon slices in the coke. innovation and outstanding quality. I went noodles, quorn chilli con carne and deep exotic fudgy experience, then this is the one The menu follows a simple formula: for sea bass with vanilla mash; definitely the fried spice balls. The next challenge was to for you. simple ingredients in easy combinations. You best thing I've eaten all term. The pan-fried decide upon the size of the dish. They are can’t really go far wrong with a brie, rocket pork loin steak with hoi-sin and chorizo stir- served in three sizes, starting at £2.95 up to FLAVOUR: LEMON MERINGUE and chutney sandwich with a salad and fry was also fantastic, as was the confit of £6.95 and however much you spent, you chips, and they didn’t. A good choice is the duck leg. Also worth a mention are the 'Ate weren't getting your money’s worth. Do not be put off by the unusual flavour of deli board: £2.50 for bread, olive oil and O'Clock Chips', chips as chips should be: skin When the food eventually turned up, I this. An immediate instinct when buying other niceties and an additional pound or so on, a little crunchy on the outside and fluffy was too hungry to care that it lacked any fudge would be to go for the chocolatey, tof- for things like Parma ham, salmon teriyaki within. No less than you'd expect at £2.20 a meat. The buckwheat noodles were, in hind- fee flavours rather than the unconventional and roasted aubergines. pop. Dessert was occupied with admiring the sight, a regrettable choice, but at least the lemon meringue. We expected this to be There was some faint amusement due to massive chocolate fondue, served with a quorn chilli con carne was palatable. There much more tangy and lemon-flavoured than the wording on the menu; the rocket was spectacular platter of weird and exotic fruit was a ray of sunshine though: the deep fried it actually was. Instead, the fudge was ‘wild’, the mushrooms ‘field’, and none of us (dragon fruit, anyone?) and marshmallows. spice balls, when consumed with the mango- smooth and creamy, making this an unex- knew what ‘griddled’ bacon was. Still, I won- Given how posh the food is, Ate O'Clock chutney sauce, were most delightful. pected favourite amongst the tasters. dered why Dusk was ignored by students as a is very reasonably priced. Go for lunch or for Quite frankly, if you are not one for a place to eat during the day. Perhaps because a special occasion; and in the evening take vegetarian experience, switch 'Piano' for Lauren Menzies it is called Dusk. the parents to pick up the tab. 'Gaucho' and have an Argentinian steak. M24 Listings 06/03/07

Clockwise from top left: Simon Pegg shooting up Somerfields in Hot Fuzz; Laikeisha from Blame; The Good German, released Friday March 3 & Mando Diao, playing at the Cockpit, Leeds,Thursday March 8 Live Music Campus Events Tuesday March 6 Friday March 16 Friday March 9 Friday March 9 Fandangle, Fibbers The Strange Death of Liberal England, YUSU Election Night, Derwent Candy, Wentworth College Coming to York in Week 9 are Fandangle. Fibbers The obviously much-anticipated election If student or international politics isn’t This punk/ska band have been described If it’s something heavier that you’re after, night will be held in Derwent this Friday your thing for a Friday night, then the as a mix between Less Than Jake and then this will be it. Celebrate the end of and will see the holders of many important cheap cocktails (amongst other offers) at Pennywise and have also supported the term with some reputed ‘apocalyptic post- posts being decided. Doors open at 9:30pm, The Edge should be a far more welcoming legendary Reel Big Fish. With over 500 rock’, primal rhythm and chaotic melody. results will hopefully be announced at alternative. Starts at 9pm and goes on until shows and 11+ tours under their belt, Tickets are only available on the door at £5. 10:30pm and the bar’s open to 1:30am. Your 2am. they’re not to be missed. Tickets £6 on chance to have your say on your Union. the door, £5 in advance. March 8 and 10 Wednesday March 7 Mando Diao and The 5 O’Clock Heroes, The Friday March 9 University of York Symphony Orchestra Friday March 9 Cockpit, Leeds Guest Speaker: Hilary Benn John Stringer conducts our superb sym- The Deftones, Leeds University Union For anyone prepared the travel that little bit The Labour club presents Hilary Benn phony orchestra playing the works of Supported by Mnemic, this is one of the further, the cockpit has these excellent and speaking on the subject of international Blake, Strauss and Tchaikovsky in our bigger bands to be playing in the area. impressive bands lined up for the last two development at 1pm, room TBC so check penultimate week. 7:30 - 9:30pm Central Tickets £17.50 online. weeks of term. their website nearer the time. Hall, tickets £3 from SJL Box office. Art and Performance Cinema March 14- 17 March 3- 17 The Good German A Guide to Recognising Your Saints The UN Inspector, York Theatre Royal Blame, York Theatre Royal Week 9 sees the release of Joseph Kanon's Written and directed by Dito Montiel, this A government that is out of touch with its The story of Mandy, who’s council flat thriller, directed by Steven Soderbergh and is a coming-of-age drama about a boy grow- people and spends all its money on the receives all manner and sorts of visitors and telling the story of an American journalist ing up in 1980s New York. As his friends wrong things (sound familiar?) gets a visit Laikeisha, the 8 year old who sees and hears (George Clooney) caught up in a murder end up dead, on drugs or in prison, he from the dreaded UN Inspector. This is a a lot more than she should at that age. investigation with his former mistress (Cate comes to believes he has escaped a similar hilarious tale of mistaken identity and cor- When Laikeisha goes missing after Mandy’s Blanchett) in post-war Germany. demise and is saved by his so called 'saints'. rupt politicians, performed by some of the birthday party, the accusations start to flow. Hot Fuzz School for Scoundrels most talented young people in the city. After top London cop (Simon Pegg) is trans- Jon Heder and Billy Bob Thornton star in March 6 - 10 ferred to a sleepy West Country village this remake of the 1960s British film about March 25 4.48 Psychosis, York Theatre Royal. because of jealous colleagues, he and his new, a traffic warden who's low on general life Slave Ship on the Eye of York, Castle Our very own DramaSoc present a harrow- witless partner (Nick Frost) start to uncover skills. After enrolling in Dr. P's school, he Museum, New Exhibit ing but beautiful insight into the darkest strange 'accidents' in the town. Aiming to becomes the star pupil and the two soon get Marking the 200th anniversary of the abo- voids of bipolar disorder, described as “a glorify the British police force, this comedy competitive. After receiving mixed reviews, lition of the slave trade, 150 people will complex and dark exploration of a place culminates in possibly the best 30 minutes of it has ended up doing fairly well in the box form the shape of a slave ship to remem- where clarity and intense psychosis merge comedy/violence ever produced by British office and may be worth watching as a light ber the suffering of slaves. together destructively.” cinema. comedy.

SPONSORED BY SNAPPY SNAPS Sponsored by NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 12 Comment Snappy Snaps Tuesday 6 March 2007 Over the top, lads

wholesome associations, such as killing people in Sam Thomas nasty ways. Some of the Comment Editor time they’ve been successful; other times, as evidenced by the very public revelations over abuse of prisoners at Camp Breadbasket and elsewhere, old habits have proved stub- According to the Ministry of born. Defence, an organisation with The University Officer which it’s generally unwise to pick a Training Corps are supposed to fight, the University Officer help in this process of adaptation, Training Corps exist “to promote lining up graduate recruits and the image of the Army amongst generally raising the profile of the undergraduates and encourage a armed forces amongst students. In deeper understanding of the all seriousness, whilst it’s very easy Armed Forces.” to rail against the very idea of a Maybe the message didn’t get standing army, it is – like any other through to the merry men of our institution – capable of both good local student brigade, some of and bad, and we have a strong whom appear to have joined York’s interest in it being as humane and UOTC fresh from the Lynndie England school of military public relations. When it comes to being Some of the UOTC the best, they certainly measure up to the gold standard in terms of are fresh from the gratuitous web-televised violence and sheer bad taste. Not to mention Lynndie England Private Mosley takes his punishment shot casual homophobia: according to Cartoon by Chris Turner the UOTC, the York rugby club school of military (that other notoriously even-tem- pered, weedy institution) exist “so public relations that gays can get together without Robbing Peter to pay Paul joining LGBT and having to tell their dads.” Lovely stuff, lads. decent as it can be. No doubt they wouldn’t expect So, what does all this say about The University’s squeeze on finances will cost us dearly a bunch of pussified pen-pushing our UOTC playing Rambo in the peaceniks like us to get the joke, woods for the benefit of bored web and it’d be a stretch to think that an junkies, or indeed staging their Internet video of mock violence set own Mel Brooksian interpretation replace them or the work met on the University’s budget to Rhapsody in Guts by Rammstein of Schindler’s List? Well, for a start Tom Simon-Norris they do. This, coupled with sheets, and this is what is driving was intended for our consumption. it gives comfort to anyone inclined Contributing Writer the scrapping of graduate the cuts. There’s a certain way of thinking toward the simple-minded view tutors in some departments, ‘Hes East’ has to be welcomed (popular with the sort of people that anyone connected to the will increase the workload as progressive– increasing both the who watch Full Metal Jacket and armed forces is, by definition, a vio- of already overworked aca- number and the scope of under- think it’s a documentary) that sees lent, intolerant thug. demics– and as a result graduate, postgraduate and this kind of hyper-masochistic Various representatives of the teaching and research are research opportunities available, as behaviour as a healthy part of mili- Army that Nouse spoke to (the A university provides a public serv- bound to suffer. It’s conceivable well as providing new facilities (a tary culture, or perhaps just of proper Army, that is) were keen to ice. A university educates vast num- that departments might have to new sports centre, a performing everyday social intercourse: a bit of stress the good example that the bers of young people to a high level, reduce contact hours too. arts venue... but strangely, no build- character-forming banter, good for UOTC set, and to mark their occa- and offers training in highly techni- Asking the Library to save ing designated specifically as a cen- weeding out the pansies and the sional fits of bad taste as an excep- cal and specialised fields. A univer- nearly half a million pounds is tral student union– surely one of homos from the true chaps. tion to the rule. Fair enough. sity undertakes vital research in all ridiculous. How on earth are they the most obvious deficiencies of the For their part, the British Maybe, then, our brave student sol- kinds of areas, from nuclear fusion going to do this? Reducing opening current campus). From the litera- Army have been trying for years to diers ought to drop the gay-bash- to cognitive psychology to primary hours? Cutting back the helpful ture, the plans seem to be guided by scrub off all traces of this attitude, ing, lose the schoolboy bravado, educational techniques to interna- and friendly staff? Decreasing the same ethos as the rest of the pushing the positive aspects of the and generally stop giving their tional macroeconomics. Both acquisition of books, cancelling University; green, plenty of open soldiering life, such as courage, superiors such bad press. Because, research and training is for the ben- journal subscriptions? Increasing space, departments and nucleated camaraderie and service, and and we hate to point this out, their efit of society as a whole. fines might seem like a good idea, colleges nestled alongside each down-playing some of its less superiors are the ones with the live Of course, all this has to be but extortionate fines would only other. ammunition. done on a budget. If cuts are neces- encourage students to get their The problem is that the sary, they must be made with the books back on time, and this could University seems to be focusing University’s primary aims in mind, never cover the required £450,000. solely on expansion to the detri- reverse because of the loss in stan- detriment of teaching and research. and not to their detriment. So when I’m not even going to mention ment of the current campus. If the dards necessitated by the cutbacks. Springing substantial cuts only department-wide cuts are the porters, or the bars, or the only way to get Hes East off the We have already seen York slide breeds an atmosphere of distrust announced, the initial reaction is cleaners – vital services to the uni- ground is to force departments into down the national league tables– and dissent. always negative or rather, interrog- versity – that have already been cut making the current cuts then the the national (and international) There are times when cuts are ative: “Why?” Budget cuts always down. Enough has been said on plans should be delayed until the reputation of the University can necessary in the public service sec- require justification, since they will these issues already– and the nega- circumstances are right. The only follow. tor. But cuts that are to the detri- make it harder – much harder – for tive consensus seems to be University’s aim is not to expand for A better approach would sure- ment of the University’s primary departments to provide the services University-wide. expansion’s sake; it is to improve ly be to continue the current piece- aims – education and research – that they were established for. At least YUSU’s meagre budg- the provision of education and meal approach to refurbishment cannot be justified by a desire to A five percent cut does not et hasn’t been touched – although I research. There’s no point in build- and redevelopment. There are too ‘push on’ with Heslington East. seem a huge amount, but when you wouldn’t be at all surprised if provi- ing for the future by impairing the many issues with the current cam- consider that departmental budg- sion for societies and student wel- present. The University will argue pus to sort out (refurbishing ets run into the millions then the fare and representation were too that, in the end, the new campus accommodation, catering provision true scale of the cuts is realised. deemed superfluous and pegged will make the cuts worthwhile, and in colleges, portering, bar closures) Can this amount really be achieved back. this claim might have some truth – before starting such an ambitious by the suggested measures? Or will So, let us move back to the but only in the very distant future. project as Hes East. This more research and teaching have to be original question. Why is it that Surely the immediate losses (in relaxed attitude would also allow cut back too? these cuts are necessary? The offi- teaching and research) across every the University more time to consol- Some of the measures already cial line is that the cuts are being single department will outweigh idate, review, and consult students, in place in some departments seem made to facilitate 'campus expan- the material gain from the new staff, departments and local resi- rather odd. Freezing recruitment sion'. It seems that, to allow campus. dents, to ensure that when the time sounds like a good idea, but when Heslington East to become a reali- Additionally, the slide back- comes for growth, it is executed in tutors retire there can be no one to ty, certain requirements have to be wards will be much harder to the correct manner and not to the Sponsored by NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 13 Letters Snappy Snaps Tuesday March 6 2007

Nouse welcomes your letters. Please indicate if they are not intended for publication. Nicky Woolf Email [email protected] or write to: Goes way back Letters Nouse, Grimston House, Vanbrugh College Look outside. Isn’t the weather lovely? No? Doesn’t the lake look inviting? No? Couldn’t you just dive straight in? No, because you are The real macaw a sensible student, and don’t want to end up stuck face-down in three feet of thirty-five Star Letter Dear Nouse, year old tetanus-ridden goose excrement. But back in the seventies, when the university Maybe it's too late to make a differ- Re: Muse, p. 13, under 'Meet the Bands'. You was new, the waters of the biggest duck-pond Dear Nouse, ence and who am I to try? A mere first year refer to Vudu Guru's "manic jungle trumpet- in Europe ran as clear as Evian. It was a com- undergraduate at this once respected uni- ing... sounding like a strangled maccaw." mon sight to see students engaging in a brac- All the posters on campus definitely versity, but a student who does not feel his Correction: It's manic jungle trombon- ing dip before breakfast without needing brighten the place up but how much £3000 a year is getting him all it should ing. Also, I think 'maccaw' is spelt with one instant medical detoxification!Such a body of notice is being paid to them by those who and one who is not prepared to take this 'c'. clean water safe to swim in was a fantastic make the decisions? I'm not sure, but I lying down. Do not allow Cantor to once leisure resource for students. would imagine very little. again take from the students at the Matt Fuller In 1974, on March the 6th, Andy I think if the students are to win this University of York; it's your university, “Parrot”, Vudu Guru Mathieson of Goodricke College organised one then we will need to hit them where it fight for it! an inter-collegiate naval battle. Crews of hurts. I propose cutting their budget like It sounds quite extreme when you boats, ranging from the floating Goodricke they so often cut ours by refusing to pay compare it to the efforts of Croker but this landing stage, set free from it’s mooring and accommodation fees, tuition fees, boy- is how students are supposed to campaign. crewed by “at least half the college,” to “a one- cotting the bars, the canteens, the snack I remember the images of the 60s at the man Derwent craft consisting of a zinc bath machines, the little facilities we have and University of York and they embarrass us with an oil drum either side.” The battle plans the shops that ply their traide in Market by comparison. being “almost non-existent,” the Wentworth Square. If only 30% of the students were Why have we become so apathetic? boat, floating as it did “three inches beneath to take these actions I'm sure it would the water surface,” was surrounded by force Brian Cantor to take us students Shaun Langwith vessels, and quickly overcome. seriously. First Year Meanwhile, over by the Goodricke- Vanbrugh bridge, Nouse reports that “the heavier Langwith vessel, the ‘Good Ship regards to central hall portering... the list Dinky-Doo,’ was boarded by two unlikely- goes on. looking pirates who just had time I suppose it’s like the supposed SU censor- Vudu Guru to say ‘Hello...’ before being Rich Croker ship of the papers that writers frequently dis- Battle of the Bands finalists , deposited in the lake.” YUSU President cuss each year. The truth is far from the mes- The situation, pre- sage that is put across - is it wrong to remove dictably, soon descend- writings which are illegal or that could Gross intrusions ed into chaos, “with potentially endanger students? I for one everyone bombing every- don’t think so. Indeed whenever I’ve Dear Nouse, one else with flour, dirt explained the processes to those who have and paint-bombs.” The inspiration – if you can call it that – for enquired they find the reality is quite differ- Why am I recieving unsolicited political The battle seems to this piece came from a number of conversa- ent from what is suggested and agree with emails from a University society (Nouse) to have been, at times, quite tions I’ve had with students this week. Each the system. which I do not belong? As a member of a intense. A special heroic made a different complaint, from their own The problem arises from the size of the political society on campus I am aware of dire mention is made of one perspective, about YUSU’s actions on a spe- Students’ Union. It encompasses over 12,000 consequences should we so misuse the uni- Chris Walker, resident of cific issue. After speaking to them, what students and 110 societies, plus 50 sports versity email system, apart from the fact that Langwith college, who single- became clear is that they agreed with what clubs, whilst Union officers sit on over 50 I find it a gross intrusion into my personal handedly fought three Alcuin sailors to win we have done: we just haven’t communicated University committees as well as so much realm. I find this particually annoying con- possession of the Goodricke landing-stage it to them, or the wider student body, ade- more. In my personal opinion we will never sidering that I and a number of people I have craft. quately. It’s a criticism I personally think is find the perfect solution to communication; spoken to support the portering cuts, as our The final quote in the newspaper is fair and something I have taken on board. we can never talk to every student. In a place experiances with the porter system has been telling. It is from a mournful, shell-shocked The reality is that we now have a greater like York too much goes on and too many less than satisfactory. student, who simply says: “It was hell out involvement in Heslington East than ever people are involved for a form of ‘Chinese I assume in the interests of fairness, a there. Hell, I tell you!” Health and safety before – working on the colleges, swimming whispers’ to not occur. That, however, doesn’t similar email supporting our Vice- would agree with him, and, I suspect, would pools and selecting architects, amongst other mean we shouldn’t try to solve it. Chancellor's changes will be circulated? veto any such plan today; but surely some things. On campus, we had huge successes on The communication problem is there to be baby of fun has been thrown out with the the kitchen situation with over £55k in com- sorted, and Students’ Unions nationally are Thomas Crockett bathwater of danger. pensation to students, and the biggest com- trying to find the best way. Often as an offi- Honorary Vice-President of The University Then again, the lake is pretty disgusting. mitment to improvements to the CLASP cer, it is a choice between communicating of York Conservative and Unionist If the same thing were to happen nowadays, buildings since the University began. The what you’ve done and striving to do some- Association everyone would get extremely ill afterwards, NUS National Demo on top-up fees saw thing further. Maybe the Summer Term will Captain of University of York Polo Club and someone would probably get impaled on more York students attend than any other see some innovative ideas being tried out. For Council Candidate for Hull Road Ward in a submerged bicycle frame. Cool idea, Northern university. Societies were saved now, maybe the traditional ‘please send your the City of York UA, May 2007 though. thousands of pounds by negotiations in answers on a postcard’ is appropriate... Vanbrugh Paradise Corner Isn’t it (meant to be) ironic? Don’t you think? This week: all eight College Administrators speak out over porters Dear Nouse,

The College Administrators would find their way back home. We are a College Does Heidi Blake have any idea what a bone like to share their vision with you: Team. This is where we find our identity. marrow transplant is? Obviously not or she A College where you are greeted at This is where we can be most valuable and would not publish such rubbish as this:

Reception by the smiling face of a porter you this is where we should be most valued. We “He told me he was contacted by a have come to know and trust - someone who are not cogs in a machine. It doesn't work mother who asked him to find a healer for

“knows who you are and can sort out your like that - as the current situation proves. her young son who needed a bone-marrow problems or give advice. Someone who can We trust that the stresses caused by the transplant. welcome visitors, give directions, answer current untenable state of affairs will be ‘I saw with my own eyes the spirit work- questions, orientate strangers, and generally speedily reviewed and a new understanding“ ing through healing, and his whole leg, which make you feel at home. Someone you can of the importance of the College Team needed bone marrow or whatever, was healed turn to in time of need and who makes you recognised and implemented without delay. without any operation. It was complete won- feel secure in your "home". Where there's a will there must be a way. derment to my eyes - it was the greatest thing The College Porter plays a key role in the I’d ever seen.’” College Team - when s/he goes missing, we Sheila Ashton Alcuin YOU DO NOT HAVE A BONE MAR- all suffer. Too many service groups, academic Chris Unwin Derwent ROW TRANSPLANT FOR A BAD LEG!!!! departments, students and visitors now find Gill Macdonald Goodricke This is offensive for those of us who go themselves at a loss on too many occasions. Sally Brabyn Halifax through this with our children. Derek Acorah To restore efficient service, we need to Sarah Doughty James is made to look (even more of) an idiot for reinstate Porters on a local basis. The person Suzanne Dekker Langwith saying it. who has built up knowledge of his/her Georgina Heath Vanbrugh College over the years needs to be allowed to Sue Lister Wentworth Derek Richards, by email Derek Acorah: ill-informed spirit medium 14 Politics Are Britain’s children really the most deprived in Europe? Albi Furlan assesses the findings of the report condemning the state of child welfare in Britain

NICEF has ings suggest that British findings are out of date are released a report children are the worst based on the premise that, based on research behaved, most at risk, and since data stops at 1999, it Ubetween 1979 and have the worst family rela- does not take into considera- 1999 to assess the quality of tionships in the developed tion eight years of welfare life for children in the top 21 world. Currently, sixteen polices. “There are now developed countries in the percent of young people 700,000 fewer children liv- world. The UK came 21st. aged 11 to 15 are living in ing in relative poverty than The report - named ‘An single parent families, and in 1998-99, and we have Overview of Child Well- about 15% are in stepfami- halved the number of chil- Being in Rich Countries’ - lies. 13% smoke a cigarette dren living in absolute was signed by professor once a week, and 31% report poverty” according to a Jonathan Bradshaw, head of being drunk more than spokeswoman, who stressed University of York’s Social twice. Drug consumption is that the problem of child Science Department. also high: 35% of young poverty is a central concern The research divides people have smoked for the government. rankings into six major cate- cannabis at least once in the These claims have not gories: material well-being, past year. stemmed criticism from aca- health and safety, educa- The UK also has high demics and child support tional well-being, family rates of teenage obesity, and groups, who claim that eight and peer relationships, almost 40% of under 15s years is not a significant behaviours and risks and having had sexual inter- enough period of time to subjective well-being. course at least once (70% turn around twenty years of Drawing an average from with a condom). That what Professor Bradshaw these categories, Britain Britain has the highest rate terms “the relative neglect of comes last, beneath the US of teenage pregnancies is no children, mainly by the (20th), Hungary (19th) and new discovery. Most worry- Thatcher government, Austria (18th). ingly, children in the UK which trebled poverty rates At the top of the chart also came second-to-last in and grossly increased come the Scandinavian the ‘subjective well-being inequalities.” countries - Denmark in 3rd category’; that is, how well- The government has place, Sweden in 2nd and off, healthy and happy they also neglected to mention the Netherlands taking the felt themselves to be. how many children have gold medal. Since its publi- On the up side, the been left in poverty, even if cation, Children’s groups English youth have decent 700,000 have been removed have turned on the govern- rates of vaccination, health from it. Whatever the gov- ment, demanding action be care and a high percentage ernment claims about the taken immediately. eat breakfast. The number validity of the findings, this The government has of families without an report certainly provides claimed that the data is not employed parent is low, food for thought. The con- up-to-date, with the most under 8%. The laziest young cept the children of Britain, recent statistics taken eight people, according to the a country of abounding years ago. report, were the French. prosperity, could the most Whether or not the fig- The claim of the deprived in the world is a ures are valid now, the find- Labour government that the sobering one indeed. The UK comes second-to-last in the ‘subjective well-being’ category of children. Controversy over anti-immigration don

By Paul Bedford demic in less than a year to African states were poor and rights to intellectual free find himself at the centre of suffered chronic ill health speech. However, this right bitter row erupted a row over free speech. Dr. because their populations can only be defended as long at Oxford Frank Ellis at the University were - to use a polite euphe- as their comments spark University last of Leeds was suspended mism - less cerebrally well- debate over difficult issues, Aweek, as student after telling a student news- endowed than their counter- rather than merely providing members from a refugee paper that there was a “per- parts in richer countries. a means to hide thinly veiled support group petitioned sistent gap” in the IQ levels In this latest row, racist barbs. the Vice-Chancellor to dis- of various ethnic groups, Coleman has hit back, The University of miss Professor David supporting the bell-curve telling Oxford student news- Oxford has proffered the Coleman for allegedly incit- theory which asserts that paper Cherwell: “It is a response: “Freedom of ing hostile sentiments ethnicity plays a role in shameful attempt of the speech is a fundamental towards immigrants. determining the intelligence most intolerant and totali- right respected by the uni- It emerged that Oxford Coleman of Oxford has caused widespread debate of offspring. tarian kind to suppress the versity. Student Action for Similarly, the London freedom of analysis and “Staff have freedom Refugees had urged the immigration and a charity his views without fear or ret- School of Economics’ evolu- informed comment, which is within the law to question Vice-Chancellor to “consid- devoted to the selective ribution from his employer. tionary psychologist Satoshi the function of universities. I and test received wisdom, er the suitability of breeding of humans. The furore has pro- Kanazawa was accused of am ashamed that Oxford and to put forward contro- Coleman’s continued tenure Fellow members of staff voked a wider debate con- reviving the policy of eugen- students should behave this versial or unpopular opin- as a professor”, because of and the local MP, Evan cerning the rights of aca- ics after publishing a paper way”. ions, without placing them- his links to a think-tank Harris, have defended demics’ free speech. Prof. contending that low IQs Whilst, naturally, aca- selves in jeopardy of losing urging stricter controls on Coleman’s right to express Coleman is the third aca- were Africa’s curse, and that demics must retain their their jobs and privileges.” Sponsored by NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Snappy Snaps Tuesday March 6 2007 15 The campaign for choice Women in the UK have had the right to abortion for decades and yet the debate still continues. Anjli Raval looks at why a greater provision of rights is needed and why some remain opposed

orty years after the rights should be of direct introduction of abor- concern to students. tion rights in the UK, Statistics from 2004 show Fthe debate, and con- that abortions are highest troversy about the reproduc- for women in the 18-24 age tive rights afforded to group. They commented, “It women continues. is especially important that Following the successful students have the support ‘Feminist Fightback’ confer- they need when it comes to ence in October last year - choosing”. where issues such as There is currently a women’s rights movements, 'Right To Choose' fund pro- the situation for women in vided by YUSU which gives the Middle East, and low support to students who and unequal pay were dis- want an abortion, but can- cussed - activists congregat- not get one on the NHS and ed last Saturday in London cannot afford to pay private- for a national march for ly. The fund also finances women’s abortion rights. antenatal- and childcare. The march took place the ‘Pro-choice’ supporters weekend before at the march included a International Women's Day range of public figures from on Thursday, and was sup- MPs and peers to doctors, ported by the YUSU nurses, sexual health organi- Women's Officers. sations and trade unions, all Demonstrators cam- calling for a law in line with paigned on a number of public opinion. MORI, who issues, including the right to have researched public atti- abortion on-demand (with- tudes regarding abortion, out the consent of two doc- established that 63 percent tors - the current require- of a representative sample of ment), the provision of abor- British adults agree “if a tion on the NHS with better woman wants an abortion, public funding to ensure free she should not have to con- and equal access, and - tinue with her pregnancy”, A woman can choose to abort a foetus up to the age of 24 weeks, when all the vital organs are fully formed. according to campaign liter- compared to only 18% who ature - ‘clear, comprehensive dissent. Fletcher-Hall, commented al limit for abortion is 24 even regard abortion as mur- ly against abortion, who see and confidential’ sex and Ann Furedi, Chief on US presidential candidate weeks in England, Wales der and oppose it in all cases. it as a question of life or relationship education for all Executive of the British John McCain's view that and Scotland. Abortion is Some make exceptions when death and, thus, a spiritual children. This is set to be Pregnancy Advisory Service, abortion rights should be permitted if the woman’s life the pregnancy was not concern. From this point of part of a drive to create a real said: "No woman ever wants repealed, stating that "It is is in danger, and the law caused by consensual sex; for view, life essentially begins at ‘right to choose’, free from to need to have an abortion, no-one's political right to requires that it be certified example, in the case of rape. conception rather than at social and economic pres- but those who do not want it make such decisions… you by two medical practition- The difficulty is that the birth. Therefore, for them, sure. to be legal are the minority." can't legislate over a ers. The 'pro-life' lobby subject provokes such strong any action that destroys an The YUSU Women's YUSU Policy & woman's own body." maintain that surgical abor- reactions on both sides. embryo is indeed taking a Officers stated that abortion Campaigns Officer, Grace Currently, the gestation- tion is always wrong. Some Religious groups are strong- human life. Hunger strike forces the early release of convicted Eta murderer from jail term

By Claire Yeo prison. IRA prisoners in Northern decision. The death of de The hunger strike led to Ireland in the 1970s. Juana would only have re- he premature release his hospitalisation a month The golden question is, ignited the terrorist cause, of convicted Eta ter- ago. The government, fear- how best does a government blocking any prospect of a rorist Iñaki de Juana ing for his life, has now per- deal with terrorists? In peace settlement for per- TChaos last weekend mitted him to serve the rest Northern Ireland, the haps another generation. has sparked a new debate of his sentence under house British government and the The People’s Party and the over the future of the peace arrest. Democratic Unionist Party’s ATV remain outraged by the process in the Basque region. De Juana is one of the (DUP) outright refusal to decision, but it is unlikely The convicted murderer key leaders in Eta’s terrorist negotiate with Sinn Fein up that open hostilities will has been on hunger strike for wing which has, over the last until the 1990s (and still break out. The peace process 114 days since a second con- four decades, been responsi- today for the DUP) did not halted by the December viction was secured against ble for the murder of 800 successfully work towards Madrid bombings can now him last year, which he people. His release has relieving sectarian tensions recommence, but what hap- believes was politically moti- sparked outrage among the The Eta terrorist will now be kept under house arrest or facilitating the peace pens when de Juana is vated. He had served his 18 Association of Terrorism ment has been backed into a This would surely have process. A policy of non- released from house arrest is year sentence for his role in Victims (ATV) and conser- corner over the affair. If they intensified its strength and negotiation, while perhaps another question. A full res- the murder of 25 people in vative opposition the did not take action to pre- conferred legitimacy on the morally legitimate, has not olution is unlikely in the the 1980s when he was jailed People’s Party, who deplore vent his death, de Juana cause, decreasing any likeli- proved successful. near future, as the Basque for a second time, charged Prime Minister Zapatero for would have been martyred in hood of swift conflict resolu- Recent events demon- people still demand seces- with making terrorist threats negotiating with Eta. the name of the Basque sep- tion. A similar tactic was strate that the Zapetero gov- sion – a right is not support- in an article he wrote from Yet it seems the govern- aratist cause. used by Bobby Sands and ernment has made the right ed by the United Nations. Sponsored by NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 16 Sports Snappy Snaps Tuesday March 6 2007 TobyGreen Drastic measures needed to curb fights

t may come as no surprise to floor holding their face. learn this, but as a Tottenham Another reason that our fan the Carling Cup ruckus Sunday league matches often Ihas pushed its way up to the passed without incident was that top of my table of most enjoyable there was always one notorious kid moments of the season, which is playing for the opposition. You more a damning indictment of would hear rumours about this guy Spurs' season than any particular a week before the match: whispers fight-fetish on my part. about him being expelled from It had everything that a jealous school for stabbing another kid or onlooker ever needs to feel morally that his dad once beat up a lines- superior about their squad. The man for flagging his son offside too 'fight', and I am using the term in many times. When it came to the its loosest definition, included game no one would dare tackle slaps, arm-waving and even a tussle him, let alone start a fight within a between Lampard and Fabregas two mile radius. that looked as if they were fighting I think the FA could be onto a over who got to eat the last Turkey winner if they followed through Twizzler. Wayne Bridge even pre- with this one. Imagine Brian empted the critics blaming the Barwick releasing special agents Johnny Foreigners on the pitch for into dressing rooms across the being jessies in a fight by doing his country, spreading rumours such as best impression of a London gang Ivan Campo stealing the pocket victim after being lightly tapped on money from a Girl Guides troop; or the back of the head by Eboue. The Would football players be so keen to fight if their masculinity was to be questioned by the FA? that Craig Bellamy likes to attack physio's response to such a serious his team mates with a 9-iron (hang injury? Lightly dripping water on different it was when I was a minds, which would suggest they keep standing so close to me it on…). Fabregas and Lampard his forehead. Not that you can real- sports-playing schoolboy. Although are prone to copying their idols. means you're gay.” would certainly think twice if they ly blame the guy: ancient methods my career was hardly showered in The moment of conflict-caus- Now it’s a sad fact of life that at thought there was someone playing of torture seem to be the only way glory, I did play for quite a few dif- ing contact that remains most that age this was probably the who could dish out horrifying vio- to stop footballers recreating the ferent teams, and competitive sport prominent in my mind was an inci- worst insult you could say, yet there lence behind the changing rooms as beach scene in Saving Private Ryan is competitive sport, even when dent in a football match, when we was no rally of teammates piling in, a punishment. This may be the only (you know, the one at the start you're struggling to beat St were at that age where you’re start- prepared to fight for my honour way unless we feel we can continue where you sit there praying Tom Jonathan's School for Quadruple ing to develop on from a 'let's all (although perhaps that reflects to put up with the insults to the Hanks dies so you don't have to Amputees at darts (don't worry run at the ball at once' mentality more my standing in the team than word 'punch' that are currently spend the next two hours watching about the safety implications, they and learning about the subtler the self-discipline of an under- being examined at FA hearings. his misshapen head. As many have were armless. Sorry.) points of the game, such as passing elevens football team). Imagine if It's either that or they'll have to said before about the Normandy Yet at that point, the level of and positions. I was concentrating this happened in a Premiership start dishing out homophobic landings, what a waste…) aggression was remarkably low. on marking this one tall kid at a game. Henrik Larsson, frustrated insults after incidents such as the Moving on, the way in which You could say that kids’ matches corner, who happened to be caus- at John Terry's close attention at a scenes we saw at the Millenium every player on the pitch, and even have less conflict than professional ing us a lot of problems in the air. corner, turning round and saying Stadium. Perhaps a renaming is in the managers, felt compelled to pile ones because what's at stake is vast- He started to get annoyed as I stuck “If you keep marking me it means order for the offence itself: how into the melee as if their sole pres- ly less prestigious, yet social com- close to him, diligently following you're a bummer” would initiate a many average half-wit footballers ence was going to have the calming mentators constantly talk about the my manager's instructions, until he hell of a riot, or at least a lot of would wish to be done for 'inappro- effect required made me think how impressionable state of young turned round to me and said “If you grown men writhing around on the priate touching' Grafham praises impressive performance as Goodricke stage late comeback over Halifax

COLLEGE FOOTBALL both teams failed to break their Nightingale could have extended long range shot which was well Goodricke Men’s 3 opponents' defences and allow his team's lead but saw his shot go parried by Halifax's Lister. their strikers to create any real out off the post after poor goalkeep- A tremendous run from the Halifax Men’s 1 threat. Halifax's Fahey and ing from Taylor. Goodricke showed right by Colin High saw the By Robert Cantarero Hewitt's frequent runs down the no sign of cancelling their deficit as Halifax defence put the ball out SPORTS CORRESPONDENT wing put pressure on the they caused no real attacking threat for a corner; and having missed Goodricke defence in the early at all, preferring to concentrate a close-range chance earlier on, stages of the game, and although their play between the defence and Grafham equalised for A SUPERB SECOND half come- both centre backs cleared the ball midfield. Goodricke from the set piece. back from Goodricke saw them effectively for a large part of the Their main chance of the first- Ten minutes later, the Halifax defeat Halifax in a match ruined first-half, they often struggled to half came from Whitlam whose defenders failed to deal with by the appalling conditions of the cope with the Halifax wingers' right-footed shot was well dealt High's run from the right; his pitch caused by the incessant rain. pace. Halifax were rewarded after with by the Halifax goalkeeper. shot saw the ball hit one of the Goodricke, outplayed in the twenty minutes when the ball, Having played poorly when using a Halifax defenders, who was then first-half and trailing by one goal crossed by Fahey on the right, 3-5-2 formation, Goodricke felt unfortunate to put the ball into for most of the match, showed a failed to meet any of the Halifax that a tactical change was needed, his own net and hand Goodricke resilience and combative spirit, strikers, but took a slight deflec- and they adopted a more attack- a fortunate victory. which saw them cancel the single- tion on the left. Goodricke goal- minded approach in the second Goodricke midfielder Owen goal deficit and take all three keeper Taylor, misjudging the half, aided by Grafham's shifting to Grafham paid tribute to his points. ball's trajectory and failing to hang wingback. team-mates for their ability in The ball was bogged down in on to it, allowed Halifax striker Their best chance of an dealing with the tactical changes midfield for the majority of the Richards to score. equaliser came in the 58th minute and for their fighting spirit in first half, as the midfielders from Ten minutes later, Halifax's as Goodricke's Silson hit a powerful the second half. Photo: Georgi Mabee NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by Tuesday March 6 2007 Snappy Snaps Sports 17

TOM Can York win the Roses? MOORE

By Daniel Whitehead formances which Moore refers to include the foot- SPORTS EDITOR ball, hockey, volleyball and AU President basketball teams, all of 43 YEARS HAVE passed which have enjoyed recent The build up to Roses has since Sir Charles Carter, the victories in the cup compe- started. The biggest inter-uni- Vice-Chancellor of titions. However, many versity sporting competition in Lancaster University, chal- lesser-known sports such as the country is just around the lenged his York counter- indoor hockey and equas- corner, with 45 sports clubs part, Lord James of trian events can provide competing in 1oo events. Rusholme, to a boat race. interest and many impor- Currently the pro- Who would have known tant points which may tip grammes are being designed, that such a seemingly the balance of the weekend. the events are being finalised meaningless event involv- One of the minority and our timetable is being pol- ing a single race would competitors are the Ski ished, but all the months of transform into the largest Club who are competing for organising and work is intend- inter-university sporting the first time in Sheffield on ed to aid one thing: bringing competition in the UK? the same weekend as Roses. the Carter-James trophy back On Friday May 4 2007, Although they receive little to the right side of the these two prestigious insti- publicity, the club are prov- Pennines after an unfortunate tutions will line up against ing successful, having taken defeat to Lancaster last year. each other for the 43rd 24th place in a recent This time, 243 points will time. Over three days they National Indoor be fought over by more than will battle in 100 events Championships held in 1000 competitors, each feeling across 45 sports in a bid to Edinburgh. Russ Norton, a the sense of responsibility not be crowned the victors of member of the club, spoke only to themselves but to the The War of the Roses. of his liking for the sport: team mates that only Roses After a frustrating “My motivation is definitely can bring to people. 2006, in which Lancaster the lifestyle and atmos- Coverage of the event will were the champions of a phere of the club. It's active, be on our website throughout closely fought contest, York challenging and fun.” the weekend with live video now go into this year trail- Elsewhere, members coverage and scores. ing by 20 victories to of the Hockey Club will Tickets for the Roses Lancaster's 21, with the compete in a relatively events will be on sale in Week emphasis on AU President unknown sport called 10 and you really don’t want to Tom Moore to deliver on his indoor hockey. The game is miss out on them. promise of bringing the a one-off spectacle for York, Great indications to the Roses back to York. due to the pitch being too way York are performing this In a recent interview expensive. Hockey Club year are the latest successes in Moore said “I think we have President Andy Hook said a multitude of disciplines. a fantastic chance of taking “We have a number of train- There really are too many back the Roses. I know the ing sessions before Roses to Ex-York AU President Stuart Leslie lifts the Carter-James trophy in May 2005 to mention, but, for various Lancaster AU President is become re-accustomed both indoor and outdoor.” entertainment and nightlife year. The BUSA season reasons, a big well done has to taking it very seriously and with the game. Indoor Despite Roses’ focus with televised highlights comes and goes, tourna- be given to the ladies’ cricket fancies his chances but our hockey is always well sup- being on the sporting provided on the AU web- ments pass and Varsity is team, sailing teams, pool and performance in Varsity and ported and with strong per- achievement, it also pro- site. won, but throughout the snooker club, mens football BUSA have shown we have formances in BUSA this vides a great spectacle for Moore concluded, “For year, in the back of every- 1sts, mens futsal 1sts, mens had a great year and there is year and the local leagues I students of York and the Universities of York and one's minds, there is only volleyball 1sts, womens basket- no reason we can't win”. would expect to win the Lancaster alike. This year Lancaster, Roses is the one competition, ball 1sts, mens hockey 1sts and The successful per- majority of games at Roses will see three days of sport, sporting highlight of the Roses”. all the other teams that are still in the BUSA knockout rounds. Lets just hope that our current performance means that Roses will be successful Boat club begin new season with and invigorating. The annual charity dodge- ball competition hits the Sports Centre on Saturday. It costs £10 to enter a team and decent Nottingham performance places are filling up fast so make an effort to pop into the By Harriet Edmonds Championship Eight cate- seconds. Captain Sarah The York Novice boat came 18th out of 40 AU Office and pick up an entry gory. The Senior four crew Woods said “we were really Women's Eight also rowed crews, narrowly missing the form. The winners will have SPORTS CORRESPONDENT had previously dominated pleased with the results, in this division. They came next two fastest crews, com- the prestigious Patches their category and had out- although slightly annoyed 22nd out of 33 Novice pleting the 5km course in O’Houlahan trophy bestowed YORK UNIVERSITY’S rowed the Senior three at being taken by Leeds, Women's Eights crews with just 13 minutes 46 seconds. upon them. There are also Boat Club made a solid Women's Eights in after we had beaten them at a time of 16 minutes 15 sec- They beat Leeds, charity Karting and Mixed start to the race season last Doncaster during Week 5. Doncaster two weeks onds. Birmingham and Warwick Martial Arts competitions tak- weekend at BUSA Head of They were labelled the before”. The morning wit- Men's Eights. It was Oxford ing place on Sunday, details the River Rowing fastest Women's Eight of nessed the York Novice Brookes's Novice boat that available in the AU Office. Championships. the competition and the Men's A and B Eight boat dominated the category, One final reminder is that The University’s Men's Heads of the river Don; a races take place. The B snatching an impressive the YUSU elections are soon and Women's Eights crews title that the York's Senior crew suffered what Novice win . and that voting is now under- travelled to Nottingham to Men's Eight had won last Men's Captain Lee Fisher The Boat Club are now way. No matter what you may compete in the 5km Head year. called a “disaster”. One of focusing on the Men's and think, using your vote really race on the River Trent. At BUSA, they fea- the seats in their boat came Women's Head of the River does make a difference. This contributed to the tured in the afternoon's off the slide 4km into the Races at the end of term, Nick Hassey and Jo biggest turnout the division, rowing the 5km race, leading to a failure to both 7km races that mark Carter are the two contestors Championship Head has course in 14 minutes 39 sec- do well in the rankings. the height of the season. for the position of AU ever had, with 365 crews onds. They came twelfth Fisher said, “everyone did They will also face a President, so please make an from Great Britain and out of the 23 championship really well to carry on” espe- tough challenge when they effort to go to www.yusu.org abroad taking part. Eights, beating Warwick cially as the majority of the come up against Lancaster and vote anytime this week. UYBC had high hopes and Manchester, although crew had little or no racing in several races at the The result will be announced for their Senior Women's narrowly missing Reading, experience. Roses, to be held in Week 2 on election night at the end of Eight boat, racing in the who achieved 14 minutes 37 The York Women’s Eight The Men's Novice A of the Summer Term. Week 9. Sponsored by NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 18 Sports Snappy Snaps Tuesday March 6 2007 Late Westley penalty saves York’s

FIELD HOCKEY the very start York attacked York Men’s 1sts 5 with purpose, frequently finding space down the left Abertay Men’s 1sts 4 channel through the no. 10, By Criss Noice Ben Griffiths. SPORTS CORRESPONDENT The home side were almost rewarded for their efforts eight minutes in AFTER A COMFORTABLE when Fergus Shields hit the start, York had to fight hard post after a counter attack at the end to win 5-4 in a that left the Scottish side dramatic match against questioning their strength Abertay University that sees at the back. This was not the York through to the third case for York though, who round of the BUSA knock- had the Abertay attacking out plate. York went 2-0 up force under control to the in the first half after goals extent that the away side from Fergus Shields and frequently resorted to James Hume and looked unsuccessful high flicks to comfortable, but compla- progress up the pitch. cency from the home side The first goal came saw that the game was taken after just 14 minutes, when into extra time after Abertay patient build-up left Billy scored a late equaliser. Walsh to pass into the path It looked all but over for of Shields, whose shot gave York as the Scots took the the York team a well- lead in extra time after a deserved lead. short corner was converted Further joy came for by Abertay's Chris Gillis, but York when James Hume the score was levelled in took advantage of the space controversial fashion after a York were creating down the penalty flick was awarded left to score past the reserve after repeated charging of keeper after the starting the line on a York short cor- goalkeeper was taken off the ner. pitch due to a leg injury. York looked the However, things started to stronger of the two sides at fall apart for the home side the end, breaking in the in the second half as York were made to battle hard for their victory over Scottish team Abertay University Photo: Robert Duvall dying seconds and being Abertay came back with a rewarded for their efforts new-found desire for the time. A number of foot- after the York defence took a The attack led to a short was all square at 4-4. with yet another short cor- game. Two goals from Gavin ballers were left to sit in the prolonged battering, with corner which was shrouded With the Abertay keep- ner. Captain Dan Westley Tomlinson saw the Scots sports centre as the game Chris Gillis scoring from a in controversy when the er shaken after fainting from converted with a searing hold on as full time eventually continued. short corner to give the decision was taken by the the penalty, the momentum shot to win the game. approached. The start was scrappy, away side a shaky lead. referee to send off an was with York in the dying The conditions were far Going into extra time with both sides scoring from With less than five Abertay player and award seconds. The game was from ideal in the build-up to there were doubts from offi- almost identical short cor- minutes left, York intercept- York a penalty flick after the buried when York captain the game as strong winds cials as to whether the game ners in the space of three ed a wayward Abertay pass Scots frequently charged the Dan Westley blasted past a and rain threatened to could continue, as the AU minutes to take the score to and broke again down the line in an attempt to run defeated Abertay side with dampen the spirits of the had not booked the pitch in 3-3. It was Abertay who left side that had given them down the clock. The flick the last shot of the game, two sides. However, from case of a draw after full were to break the deadlock so much joy in the first half. was converted and the game finishing the scores at 5-4. Oxford crushed by dominant York 1sts

VOLLEYBALL Captain Denis Zuev began two teams, edging to an 8-6 level at 6-6. Oxford missed a deserve their place in the about getting that message York Men’s 1sts 5 to control the game with lead, which then became 19- host of opportunities allow- finals”. across”. some masterful setting, thus 14. ing York to gain a 13-11 lead. Ben Brown reflected on With a semi-final place Oxford Men’s 1sts 4 Oxford extending their lead Zuev's frustrations Zuev's irritation with the successes, saying “We at stake, York will face By Joe Campbell to 13-11. again appeared to get the his side's performance were a second division team Sheffield Hallam University SPORTS CORRESPONDENT Incredible digging, better of him, this time due appeared to electrify York, last year, now we're a first on March 9 in the second alongside a brutal spike to a net call from the referee. with a lethal spike from division team. We need to go round of the BUSA from the York side, then This led to some brave Richard Valentine sending that extra mile; it's just been Knockout Cup. IN A TENSE encounter, threw the set wide open at defending and clinical them into a commanding York Men's Volleyball 1st 14-14, later becoming a 21- spikes from Oxford, drawing 21-14 lead. As Oxford clawed team defeated BUSA giants 21 stalemate. Some out- the sides level at 20-20. Ben back two points, York cap- VOLLEYBALL: YORK 3 - 0 OXFORD Oxford 1sts in straight sets, standing offence and Brown's powers of captaincy tain Ben Brown reacted furi- Player Line-up - York 25-22, 25-20 and 25-16, defence from Roman were asserted at this crucial ously towards the distrac- Key Moments: progressing to the second Ashauer enabled York to point, by his rousing encour- tion provided by the Set 1 - York take lead (22-21) Set 2 - York margin increases (19-14) Zhang Brown Ashauer round of the BUSA push in front, winning the agement and successive University Ju-Jitsu club, Set 2 - York win set (25-21) 16 22 6 Knockout championship crucial first set 25-22. spikes, spurring York on to who were practising in the Set 3 - York win match (25-16) A nail-biting first set Zuev epitomised win the second set 25-21. same sports hall as the Player Ratings: saw York leaping into a 2-0 Oxford's anger at the first set The break appeared to Volleyball game. Kuok Valentine Kolovos York: Kolovos(7), Uebel(6), 7 14 1 lead, courtesy of two merci- loss, blasting the referee for have the desired effect with Nevertheless, York Butcher(6), Ashauer(8), Kuok(10), less spikes from Johnny an earlier line decision in a gentle dip from Oxford's maintained their compo- Stammers(6),Villani(6), Valentine(9), Zhang(8), Bianco(6), Zhang. Mistakes made by York's favour. However, any George Trichas contributing sure, with Richard Brown(8) Oxford and a powerful long signs of shellshock from to a 3-0 lead for Oxford at Valentine's block allowing Oxford: Zuev(7), Swift(6), shot from York captain Ben Oxford were quickly erased, the start of the third set. the team to win the third set Viehoff(5),Trichas(8), Mierginan(5), Jenkins(5), Karup(7),Wirlang(5), 6 7 8 Brown allowed York to with George Trichas and Regardless, some truly 25-16 and secure a place in Nehrebecki(6) Trichas Meirganan Jenkins extend their lead to 5-2. Anders Karup putting their inspired setting and defend- the second round of the Man of the Match: However, Oxford soon raced bodies on the line to match ing from York's Sunny Kuok, BUSA Knockout cup. Sunny Kuok (York): Heroic in 1 4 5 back into a 7-5 lead, with a York 3-3. and a crashing spike from Following their defeat, defence, ruthless in attack, Sunny Viehoff textbook spike by George York appeared to York's Richard Valentine Zuev admitted “The York put in an incredible performance Zuev Swift inspiring York to victory. Trichas. Likewise, Oxford emerge as the superior of the enabled the score to stand guys played well, and fully Player Line-up - Oxford NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by Tuesday March 6 2007 Snappy Snaps Sports 19

SPORT: IN BRIEF blushes after tense finale Candidates look to Athletic Union future Analysis: Complacency almost costly NICK HASSEY and Jo Carter are the two candidates to have declared their nomination for AU Presidency. By Jack Kennedy performance and an extra time, led by captain expect them to come out Current Athletic Union Vice- SPORTS CORRESPONDENT inspired half time team talk Dan Westley and man of the straight away and put pres- President Hassey has marketed himself from the Abertay captain match Ben Griffiths, sure on us as they did." as the candidate with “dedication, expe- ON A GLOOMY and over- provided a tense finale. stopped York from facing an Club President Andy rience and innovation”, with his main cast York day, one part of From complete domi- embarrassing result. Hook was adamant that policies including sports equipment campus seemed to be shin- nance of the game to near The panic was obvious complacency was not a being sold in Your:Shop and discussing ing. On the JLD Astroturf, despair in under an hour, from the moment Abertay cause of his team's troubles, with club presidents how the AU can be the men's hockey 1st team complacency was rife brought a goal back in the but did admit that "we did further improved. were 2-0 up inside 20 min- amongst many of the play- early stages of the second not take our chances. Our Jo Carter, the current Hockey Club utes of their second round ers. York would have been half. York’s clever movement heads dropped after their President and AU Press & Publicity BUSA playoff tie against expected to rack up a and quality possession, first goal." Officer offers added benefits for AU Scottish University Abertay, resounding score line after which proved so effective in However, both did members and plans to build upon the and seemed to be cruising their blistering start to the the early stages of the agree on the fact that they charity work that the Union currently towards an easy victory that fixture but this failed to match, seemed to be miss- were very pleased with the partakes in. would ensure their progres- appear. ing as midfield players win, proving that the result Voting has opened, and students sion in this prestigious com- Instead, resting on their Morgan and Walsh looked meant a lot more to them can vote at www.yusu.org. Results will petition. laurels was the order of the increasingly jaded and than the way they achieved be annoucned at the end of Week 9 for Unfortunately for York, day for much of the team as unable to dictate the tempo. it. next year’s AU President. a combination of lacklustre only an inspiring fight in Admittedly, it was not Yet, if this round proved only York's lack of compo- such a struggle, then both sure that so nearly cost them men must question how Charity events hope to HOCKEY: YORK 5 - 4 ABERTAY (BUSA Plate 2nd Round) but also the spirited reaction much further York can get in York 1st XI of Abertay, a team who this competition. With capture imagination Wednesday February 28 showed in the second half tougher opposition ahead, JLD - Astroturf GK that they had not travelled and the major possibility of CHARITY MIXED martial arts and Key Moments: Gibaud so far for no reason. tricky away fixtures, the Karting events being held at the end of 14 min - York Goal, 1-0,Walsh However, it must have hockey team will have to the Spring term are hoping for the sup- 40 min - Albatay Goal, (2-1),Tomlinson RB CB SW LB been the manner of the work hard to ensure that port of the student body. 63 min - Albatay Goal, (2-2),Tomlinson Palmer Beale Westley Hook 87 min - Albatay Goal, (3-4), Gillis extremely lacklustre second they do not let complacency A charity open match in mixed 96 min - Albatay Sending Off, (3-4) RM CM LM half, in which the ineffective get the better of them. martial arts will see cage fight trainer 98 min - Albatay Injury, (4-4), Hatch Walsh Morgan DeBoltz long-balls that Abertay If they ever get such a Cliff Pollard, muay-thai world champi- 99 min - York Goal, (5-4),Westley RF CF LF played up to the front men good opportunity again to on Richard Cadden and Garry Kelly, Player Ratings: Hume Sheilds Griffiths in the first half began to split take a commanding lead previous trainer of Prince Naseem, train York: Gibaud(8),Westley(8), Palmer(7), the York defence, that will early on, they must play to with students who attend between Dodds Withroe Hook(7). Beale(8), DeBoltz(8), Morgan(8), McGuffin have worried most onlook- build on it, not to let it slip 12:30-3:30pm Sunday March 11. Walsh(9), Griffiths(10), Hume(8), Shields(9) RF CF LF ers. away so easily. The Karting Club are also hosting a Abertay: Hatch(6), Simpson(7), I. Mitchell Tomlinson Mackay Westley was unsure of More importantly, for charity event on the same day at 2pm. N.Mitchell(7), Rae(6), Gillis(7), McGuffin(8), RM CM LM the reasons behind his the near future, if York truly The race, which is open to all students, I.Mitchell(8),Tomlinson(9), Mackay(7) team's collapse, stating "It want to win back the Roses will be held at the outdoor circuit in N.Mitchell Simpson Rae Gillis might have been complacen- title then they must find the Tockworth. Teams will consist of five Player of the Match: RB CB SW LB cy," whilst also insisting that correct mental attitude and people, with prices being around £20 Ben Griffiths - Produced an outstanding fitness and lack of stamina combine it with their obvi- per head. performance on the left allowing York to Hatch counter-attack with pace. York’s main GK may have been other prob- ous physical and technical All proceeds from both events will threat throughout the match. lems: "in the second half you talents so as to achieve their go to Athetic Union charities Sports Abertay 1st XI can get tired and we didn't full potential. Relief and the NSPCC. Controversial refereeing decisions mar impressive basketball cup performance

BASKETBALL line. The Teesside manager end to the second quarter them to stretch their lead Whilst York had domi- York were jubilant at had to be calmed down after from Teeside narrowed the 48-37 by the end of the nated the first three quar- the final whistle with Gasvill York Women’s 1sts 54 the game as he strongly gap to 32-26. quarter, with the top scorer, ters, nerves seemed to play a saying the victory was due to Teesside Women’s 1sts 49 challenged the referee’s deci- The third quarter was Captain Nicki Gasvill, aiding part in the fourth, as a team effort and everyone By Chris Cattermole sions, which he felt cost his an even affair, with York’s the team’s cause with four Teesside showed they were played well. Teeside were side the game. clinical finishing enabling points. far from beaten, creating a aggrieved at the level of offi- SPORTS CORRESPONDENT York started out the tense finale which could ciating shown by the refer- brighter of the two teams, have gone either way. York’s ees but gave York credit for YORK PROGRESSED to opening up a six point lead. 11-point lead at the begin- their victory, with Louise the final of the BUSA shield However, they missed all six ning of the fourth period King saying “the girls played on Wednesday after a hard of their free throws in the was soon whittled away to well but the refs didn’t”. fought 54-49 victory over first quarter and this inabili- two points with York man- Teesside’s manager had Teesside. It was a well- ty to convert allowed aging only to score three clearly been unhappy with deserved victory for York, Teesside to take the lead points to the visitors twelve. the officiating from the first who led for the majority of with a three pointer from When Teesside were quarter and made his feel- the game. They had to be on Lisa Capewell. After being awarded two free throws ings clear at the final whistle their toes, however, to see off 15-14 down, York finished with the score on 52-49 to before he was restrained by a late comeback from the first quarter in the York, it looked as though a the referee. However, this Teesside who, after being 14 ascendancy, leading 20-15. remarkable comeback could was not to detract from what points down at one stage in The second quarter become a reality. However, was a great victory for York, the third quarter, managed started just as brightly as Teesside’s failure to convert and they can take a lot of to close the gap to just two Monika Bohm finished a either of these throws effec- confidence from this per- points before York sealed the dazzling team move to put tively extinguished their formance going into the victory from the free throw York 28-17 ahead. A strong York Women’s 1sts battled hard Photo: Georgi Mabee hopes of winning. final. 20 York vs Lancaster: The War of the Roses - Preview SPORT Page 17 York celebrates cup successes

Clockwise from left: The University of York’s volleyball, basketball and hockey teams were all victorious on Wednesday in their cup competitions. Photos: Georgi Mabee

By Daniel Whitehead sets: 25-20, 25-21, 25-16. Elsewhere, the men's tastic of late but they are Abertay University team. BUSA plate after they com- SPORTS EDITOR This achievement was football 1sts reached the travelling from London so The game shouldn't have fortably beat Manchester matched by a hard-fought final of the BUSA cup, in you never know.” been in contention after a University 3rds last week. performance from the which they will face Hopes for the basket- dominant first half display York Hockey President A TERRIFIC WEEK for the women's basketball 1sts who Bradford University in Week ball team will have been lift- by York after which they Andy Hook, who has played York Athletic Union saw vic- beat Teesside 1sts 54-49 in a 10. ed, however, by a highly- were leading 2-0. However, a a vital part in the club’s tories for the men's volley- tense and at times controver- AU President Tom spirited and skilful display mix of complacency from recent good form was opti- ball, women's basketball sial game, in which the Moore expressed his delight against Teesside 1sts, in York and a rousing second- mistic after the draw was and men's hockey teams in Teesside coach confronted at the recent successes, say- which they dominated for half performance from announced, saying: “With their respective cup compe- the officials at the end of the ing “The football team have large parts of the game. If it Abertay took the game to seven wins in a row now and titions. match, acusing them of bias an absolutely fantastic hadn't been for the poor extra-time tied 2-2. The final 31 goals in those games I The Volleyball 1st team, towards the home side. chance [of beating conversion of free throws, minutes produced a total of think we have every chance captained by Ben Brown, A series of impressive Bradford]. I don't see any the margin of victory would seven goals, a head injury of progressing to the semi- provided the most impres- displays sees them reach the reason why they cannot win. have been much higher. and a sending off; ending the finals. With our attacking sive win with a breath-tak- final of the BUSA cup, where “In the case of the Meanwhile, the hockey match 5-4 to York. formation of 4-3-3 and con- ing display against a decent they will face Queen Mary’s women's basketball, it is a 1sts left it until the final sec- This victory means York fidence running high we are yet outplayed Oxford side, at the University of York very tough game. Queen onds of extra time to secure will face Salford Men's 1sts thoroughly prepared to face seeing them off in straight Sports Centre on March 7. Mary's results have been fan- victory against an inferior in the quarter-finals of the Salford in the next round.”

Goodricke fight-back Drastic measures Rowing club begins AU Election hopes to overcome Halifax needed to curb fights new season brightly for Carter, Hassey The Goodricke Men’s Football Toby Green discusses the recent Both the men’s and women’s row- Nick Hassey and Jo Carter have team produced a superb comeback bout of slaps, arm-waving and tus- ing teams started the season in announced their candidacies for to overcome Halifax in a closely- sles taking place in the football good form in the BUSA Head of the presidency of York’s Athletic fought battle on 22 acres. Halifax world and looks back at personal River Rowing Championships in Union this week. Both promised a took an early lead but were pegged experiences from his youthful Nottingham, with the men’s bright future with Heslington East back in the second half by a resur- sporting career of aggression on novices coming 18th out of 40 in expansion and discussion of gent Goodricke team. the sports field. their 5km race. increased student benefits.

>> MATCH REPORT Page 16 >> TOBY GREEN Page 16 >> REPORT Page 17 >> REPORT Page 19

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