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April 2016 Vol Xix Issue Xi • Syracuse New York Your Student Fee Get Lit

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April 2016 Vol Xix Issue Xi • Syracuse New York Your Student Fee Get Lit APRIL 2016 VOL XIX ISSUE XI • SYRACUSE NEW YORK YOUR STUDENT FEE GET LIT. jerkmagazine.net ISH GUITARS 10 JERK THIS What you should hit 59 ALTRUIST up and bitch about Kanye West this month. 60 AMPLIFIED 11 21+/- Grayak Bhang 61 SYNAPSE 13 TOTALLY New Americana UNSCIENTIFIC POLL Dating BACK OF BOOK 14 SEX Mrs. Robinson 62 DISCOVERSYR Harriet Tubman 22 FRAMED House Breasts1 SMUT FEATURES 64 SPEAKEASY Poster Child 30 Come Together BITCH OPINIONS Volunteers for 65 OBITCHUARY CONTENTS APRIL 2016 Believe in Syracuse Man Bun 20 Whitewashed are ushering in a new This takes era of revitalization 66 CLOSET CASE #OscarsSoWhite to a and appreciation for It's not stealing if you whole new level. the city. don't remember. High Society 24 7 EDITOR'S LETTER 8 FEEDBACK 16 Call of Duty Medical marijuana dispensaries are opening all 34 Finely Tuned 67 FORM AND 9 PEEPS Women should be Ish Guitars is FUNCTION over New York state. But getting your hands on 12 CLICKBATE required to register bringing rock and How to Dress Like that medicinal green isn't as easy as you'd think. for the draft. roll to Armory Square. You Work for The Government regulations are clashing with the Daily Orange 18 Checking Up proponents of this plant-based relief. It’s been a year GAWK FASHION since the Counseling The Case of the Collegiate Cat Center replaced the 46 Faux Pas(s) Burglar 38 Advocacy Center. Unstylish nays to We’re following up on fashion-forward yays. At Jerk, we're always pushing the envelope. In this what has changed, issue, art meets fashion as we spin the tale of a and what still needs classica mystery. No black and tons of color, we pay to. homage to all things prep, cause we all know that one 21 30 Times We NOISE ARTS & MUSIC frat boy who dresses like that on the daily. Thought Your So- Called Shareable 52 Reality Check APRIL 2016 VOL XIX ISSUE XI • SYRACUSE NEW YORK Spark Contemporary Art Space YOUR STUDENT FEE Stories Sucked It’s time to appreciate our most valuable 48 Cover Design by 22 Uber to Syracuse asset: our mind. Simon Abranowicz Tucked away on E. Fayette St. lies every VPA students Coming home from Illustration by Chuck’s is about to 58 REWIND dream. Spark Contemporary Art Space, a volunteer-run Simon Abranowicz get so much easier. Elvis Presley performance space, brings life and authenticity back to Syracuse. 4 4.16 • JERK JERK • 4.16 5 LETTER FROM THE EDITOR 50 First Dates Dating in college is weird. While many believe it is non-existent, I am proud to say that it is, in fact, real. Well, sort of. My freshman year was filled with with a series of dates at Chipotle—or Bleu Gigi Antonelle EDITOR Monkey if I was lucky—mostly with lovely young men that unsuccessfully tried to suck my face had night before. I would Eric King Susanna Heller Ensley Rivers Lianna Hursh EXECUTIVE EDITOR MANAGING EDITOR CREATIVE DIRECTOR DIGITAL DIRECTOR leave these dates wondering if he bought my burrito because he actually liked me, or if him not paying made him more of a EDITORIAL DESIGN modern gentleman. FEATURES EDITOR Michaela Quigley DESIGN DIRECTOR Diana Steinmetz One date, though, stands out more than others: the day a ASST. FEATURES EDITOR Chelsea Portner DESIGNERS Janela Mendl, Jordana Rubin, Carly junior peer adviser took me to lunch. Did I feel cool or what? He ARTS AND MUSIC EDITOR Caley Wildermuth Beck, TJ Wells drove me to Tully’s—I hadn’t been in a car since August. However, ASST. ARTS AND MUSIC EDITOR Caroline Schagrin OPINIONS EDITOR Julia Smith ART during this so-called “first date,” I told him that I sweat profusely ASST. OPINIONS EDITOR Ben Farr ILLUSTRATION DIRECTOR Madelyn Minicozzi so he probably shouldn’t touch my hands, I spillled marinara all STYLE EDITOR Lydia Chan PHOTOGRAPHY DIRECTOR Bridget Williams over my jeans, and when I got out of his car, I slipped on a patch ASST. STYLE EDITOR Trusha Bhatt STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS Lilly Stuecklen, of ice and fell flat on my back on the side of the road. Graceful. ASST. STYLE EDITOR Hairol Ma Alexandra Moreo, Shelley Kendall, Fiona Lenz, However, flash forward two years, this same ~older man~ still RESEARCH EDITOR Bronte Schmit Kasey Lanese, Laura Hegstetter COPY EDITOR Hana Maeda ILLUSTRATORS Ryan Polgar, Autumn Wilson, happens to be the light of my life and my best friend. COPY EDITOR Danny Yarnall Claudia Lewis On page 13, we poll SU students about what they would FOB EDITOR Sarah Martinez do in certain first-date scenarios. For those in the dating game, if FACT CHECKER Connor Layden PUBLIC RELATIONS you haven’t thought about these scenarios, then you probably FACT CHECKER Mary Caftalano COMMUNICATIONS DIRECTOR Eric Chuang, Alaina should. Or maybe you are happily in a relationship and are FRESHMAN INTERN Divya Murthy Galiano PR REPRESENTATIVES Zainab Pixler, Serena looking for some things to do in the Syracuse area with your WEB Sarch, Spencer Bristricer significant other. In that case, on page 62 learn about the Harriet WEB EDITOR Kelly O'Sullivan Tubman House, a big piece of history right in our ASST. WEB EDITOR Cori Rosen BUSINESS backyard. And if you guys are into music, check out ASST. WEB EDITOR Leah Strassburg PUBLISHER Esmeralda Murray a locally-owned guitar shop, Ish Guitars, which ASST. WEB EDITOR Aidan Meyer AD DIRECTOR Christina Tornetta WEB DESIGNER Brittany Isdith AD REPRESENTATIVE Michelle Levitch you can read about on page 34. PHOTO EDITOR Erica Mack So for all of you hopeless romantics SOCIAL EDITOR Jordan Cramer CONTRIBUTORS out there, I promise, there is hope. But in the DIGITAL INTERN Gabriela Robles Daisy Gan, Vera Feng, Taylor Hicks, Ryan Polgar, Laura Norton, Vanessa Castillo, Kara Sheplock, Simon Arbanonwicz, Allen Chiu, meantime, Jerk off to our April issue. Renee Zhou, Kate Browse, Erika Haas, Karli Gastieger, Sarah Kinzler, MULTIMEDIA Hannah Fiore, Adam Goodskey, Khianna Calica, Alexi McCammond, MULTIMEDIA EDITOR Chris Sechler Caroline Colvin, Sophia Caraballo, Nicole Engelman, Hairol Ma, Erin Keep on Jerking, ASST. MULTIMEDIA EDITOR Adriana Ascencio Kelly, Rachel Blackman Melissa Chessher ADVISER Through its content, Jerk is dedicated to enhancing insight through communication by providing an informal platform for the freedom of expression. The writing contained within this publication expresses the opinions of the individual writers. The ideas presented in this publication do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Jerk Editorial Board. Furthermore, Jerk will not be held responsible for the individual opinions expressed within. Submissions, suggestions, and opinions are welcomed and may be printed without contacting the writer. Jerk reserves the right to edit or refuse submissions at the discretion of its editors. Jerk Magazine is published monthly during the Syracuse University academic year. All contents of the publication are copyright 2016 by their respective creators. No content may be reproduced without the expressed written consent of the Jerk Editorial Board. 6 4.16 • JERK JERK • 5.15 7 FEEDBACK We may not always act on your feedback, but trust us: Jerk contributors whether you're a fan or a hater, a long-timer or a first- Photography by Bridget Williams and Allen Chiu timer, we always at least read it. Keep the compliments and jibes coming. RJ, @rashikjpr [March 7] SARAH KINZLER / Sophomore / SpeakEasy Sometimes I'm tempted to bring back my uggs.....Thanks @ Sarah Kinzler is addicted to avocados. She wanted to jerkmagazine for saving me from relapse. be a cotton candy vendor, but she settled for being a magazine major instead. Her favorite movie is Almost Albino Architect, @albinoarchitect [March 4] Wow @jerkmagazine, way to not only be biased against but Famous, but Kinzler didn’t quite have the same sexist towards @HillaryClinton in your latest issue. experience when she interviewed Nate Duval for this month’s SpeakEasy on page 64. MARCH 2016 VOL XVIII ISSUE X • SYRACUSE NEW YORK X • SYRACUSE XVIII ISSUE MARCH 2016 VOL STUDENT FEE YOUR MAY 2015 VOL XIV ISSUE VI SYRACUSE NEW YORK Your student fee SHOW US SOME LOVE Jerk Magazine ADAM GOODSKEY / Senior / Kanye West 126 Schine Student Center Adam Goodskey, a political science and geography Syracuse, NY 13244 major, is often mistaken for Josh Hutcherson. He debates the merits of diet soda and the nature of @jerkmagazine white chocolate, which of course isn’t really [email protected] chocolate. But this issue, he defends Yeezy, the god jerkmagazine.net of our times, on page 59. HANNAH FIORE / Junior / 30 Times We Thought Your So-Called Shareable Stories Sucked Hannah Fiore used her Barbie Jeep for an inappropriate amount of time as a kid, but she’s not apologizing. Flip to page 21 to read her open letter to girls who share Elite Daily posts like their lives depend on it. SIMON "SLIME" ABRANOWICZ / Senior / The Case of the Collegiate Cat Burglar When Simon Abranowicz frst started working with Jerk, FOLLOW, DON’T LEAD he was dazzled by the bright lights and attractive models. youtube.com/jerkmagazine Jerk Magazine Eventually he succumbed to the darker side of the editorial world—eating too much and becoming numb to the facebook.com/jerkmagazine @jerkmagazine women modeling in his stories. Abranowicz lives alone in instagram.com/jerkmagazine vimeo.com/jerkmagazine a small apartment with his pet cactus, Michael Bolton. 8 4.16• JERK JERK • 4.16 9 JERK THIS 21+/- SHOTS FIRED Traditionally used in India for Hindu festivals such as Holi, bhang is a milk drink infused with Luke Bryan concert cannabis. It’s believed to help one achieve spiritual ecstasy.
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