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Bisexuality: Colonizing the Middle

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Bisexuality: Colonizing the Middle BISEXUALITY: COLONIZING THE MIDDLE @drdavidley 2017 ALTSEX Conference, NYC ####### • Among women, 17 percent report intimate same-sex contact in their lives, compared to 6 percent of men. • Slightly more men than women described themselves as gay -- almost 2 percent versus 1.3 percent. • Six percent of women and 2 percent of men identify as bisexual. In a 2006-2010 survey, less than 4 percent of women and just over 1 percent of men identified as bisexual. (CDC 2016) • 49% of British 18-24 year olds identify as not 100% heterosexual (2017, Yougov) DEFINING A MOVING TARGET Cuckolds Men who visit trans sexworkers New Guinea – Etoro tribe Gay conversion therapy Josh Weed, Gay Mormon Husband WHATCHA WATCHING? • Lesbians and gay male porn • Men who visit trans porn sites overwhelmingly straight-identified • 821 American males watching porn (Downing, et al 2016): • 55% of gay males had watched hetero porn in last month • 21% of straight males had watched gay male porn in last month • 153 bi males – overwhelmingly watched both in last month (88-96%) PROVE IT BUT ARE THEY REALLY BISEXUAL? Tom Daly Anthony Bowens Nicki Minaj PHASERS ON STUN • “About one half of Millennial gay men report a “bisexual phase,” whether a day or years.” Ritch Savin-Williams • “My depression at the end of Wham! was because I was beginning to realize I was gay, not bisexual.” (George Michael) • Bisexual women higher in libido. • High libido males tend to be either VERY gay or VERY straight. • Bisexual males and females are lower in Conscientiousness than heterosexuals • Both bisexual males and females are significantly higher in: • Openness to experience • Neuroticism • (Richard Lippa. Published and unpublished data) • Prenatal androgen treatment increased frequency of bisexuality in both males and females, with notable increased sexual attraction to males in both genders. (small sample of 24, longitudinal study, Reinisch, J.M. et al 2017) • DES – 8 of 117 daughters whose mothers took DES reported bisexual or homosexual “tendencies” compared to 0 in matched sample. (Meyer-Bahlburg 1995) • Pansexuality, omnisexuality, heteroflexible, mostly straight… • Eric Anderson suggests there may be 34 different subtypes of bisexuality, including: • Ritual bisexuality • Performative bisexuality • Situational bisexuality MOSTLY • “Mostly heterosexuals are the largest group of nonheterosexuals, more numerous than all other nonheterosexuals groups combined.” (Ritch Savins-Williams, Zhana Vragalova 2013) • "Heteroflexibility: the latest semantic ploy to keep sexual options really pisses me off" • "It is a rejection of bisexuality since the inevitable question that comes up in bisexuality is one of preference, and the preference of the heteroflexible is quite clear...retaining as self-identification as heterosexual by thinking of heterosexuality as a flexible sexual orientation category." • If I don’t identify as bisexual despite having had a couple of female short-term partners, I am contributing to the erasure of bisexual women. If I do identify as bisexual, despite having always wanted a long-term relationship with a man, and having been in one for 18 years, I am claiming a marginalized identity I have no right to because I do not experience the struggles of bisexual women. • Helen Pluckrose WHAT VALUE, IDENTITY? • 54% of bi men report their bi identity is not important to them, compared to 25% of gay men. • Bisexuals (male and female) are much less likely to be “out” to peers, family members, coworkers and other important people • Bisexuals are less likely to boycott products over LGBT issues • Bisexuals are less likely to attend a Pride event • “It’s not my identity. It is an activity like bowling or gardening, except that it’s more intimate and personal.” (Pew Survey) WHAT’S IN A NAME? • "I'm straight, but a pervert. A bi guy is just attracted to either, or." (Charlie, 38, white.) • "Male bodies don't arouse me, but penises do. They are like 'Living dildoes." • "I think I'm straight. from Time to time I might get the urge to have sex with a guy, but I'm not attracted to them." (Blaise, 39, white) • "I would say I'm straight, I love women. But when they're not available, I get head from guys. (Freddie, 25, Latino) • "I'm in charge in a lot of places. There's times when I don't want to be in charge and I want someone to be in charge of me...that's what brings me over to the bisexuals...it's kind of submitting to another guy or being used by another guy." BROTHER, CAN YOU LEND A HAND? • I’m just "helpin a buddy out." • "The results indicate that heterosexuality is a performance, rather than a natural expression of sexuality, and that interpretations – not just attractions and behaviour – are central to being straight." tony j silva • "I don't mind watching him cum." Increased cultural willingness of males to engage in MMF. (Scoats, Joseph, Anderson) ARE WE CAPTURING THE RIGHT THINGS? • Defining Sexual Orientation via: • BEHAVIOR • AROUSAL • IDENTITY KLEIN SEXUAL ORIENTATION GRID WHAT ABOUT? • Self-Awareness? • Openness to change and development • Personality and social variables • Trauma • Changing sexual and social values? • Power exchange dynamics • And what is “SEX” anyway? maybe the message of bisexuality is that who you love or fuck or fantasize about doesn't actually matter. what matters is how you do it, who you are, and who you choose to be. @drdavidley .
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