Understanding How Jewish Identity Impacts the Lives and Narratives of Ashkenazi Female Public School Educators
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Chapman University Chapman University Digital Commons Educational Studies Dissertations 4-2016 Inside/Outside/In-between: Understanding how Jewish Identity Impacts the Lives and Narratives of Ashkenazi Female Public School Educators Mindi Ellen Benditson Chapman University, [email protected] Follow this and additional works at: https://digitalcommons.chapman.edu/ces_dissertations Part of the Bilingual, Multilingual, and Multicultural Education Commons, Educational Assessment, Evaluation, and Research Commons, and the Jewish Studies Commons Recommended Citation Benditson, M. E. (2016). Inside/outside/in-between: Understanding how Jewish identity impacts the lives and narratives of Ashkenazi female public school educators (Doctoral dissertation). https://doi.org/ 10.36837/chapman.000019 This Dissertation is brought to you for free and open access by Chapman University Digital Commons. It has been accepted for inclusion in Educational Studies Dissertations by an authorized administrator of Chapman University Digital Commons. For more information, please contact [email protected]. Inside/Outside/In-between: Understanding how Jewish Identity Impacts the Lives and Narratives of Ashkenazi Female Public School Educators A Dissertation by Mindi E Benditson Chapman University Orange, CA College of Educational Studies Submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy in Education April 2016 Committee in charge: Penny Bryan, Ph.D., Chair Jim Brown, Ph.D. Suzanne SooHoo, Ph.D. Julye Bidemead, Ph.D. Inside/Outside/In-between: Understanding how Jewish Identity Impacts the Lives and Narratives of Ashkenazi Female Public School Educators Copyright © 2016 by Mindi E. Benditson iii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Though I would like to say there is a specific order in which people will be thanked, it is only based on what I can remember at this point (I started writing this section at 5:20am one morning-after crafting it in my head for hours-nearly three weeks before my dissertation defense. However, I actually did not type this up until right before I needed to print out my dissertation. So if I forgot to include you, just know it was completely by accident and to be blamed on sleep deprivation caused by Nathan): My first “shout out” goes to Chris Staple. He probably will never see this and probably doesn’t remember sending me to the wrong Starbucks location in Downey in 2010, but it is wasn’t for meeting with you, I would have never been on this journey. It was you who got the ball rolling-so thank you for the love/hate memory I have associated with you. Just kidding, but I really wouldn’t be able to say this dissertation was years in the making if you hadn’t asked me such an important question. A special acknowledgement needs to go to Nikki Mazzo Bennett aka the other half of Frick and Frack-without you being my dissertation “wife”, I don’t know how I would have made it through the last year. I’m not sure what the future holds for us now that we are done with our dissertations (nothing like waiting until the last minute to finish everything), but we are forever intertwined with our co-written chapter! Thank you for going with the flow (“I’m not worried, I’ll just turn in an outline”), allowing me to hold your feet to the fire (when needed) and for making me laugh like no one else can! Tricia Katsamatsu-the same thank you applies to you too, only your outline would be linear (possibly with a few mind maps), outrageously color-coded, and probably have some super technical language related to concussions. iv Next, I would like to say thank you to the Chapman PhD professor who cut me off every time I spoke in their class. When pressed on why you did it, your reasoning was because you felt I’m so much smarter than my peers and had a lot to add to the conversation, but that you thought I would just figure it out to be quiet. Thank you for teaching me that some people, no matter how educated they are, have no clue how valued critical dialogue is to certain cultures like mine. In terms of specific Chapman professors, I would like to give a very special thank you to my committee: Julye, Jim, Suzi, and Penny. Individually you all deeply impacted this study (and my defense), but together your super powers united and helped elevate my work to a level I never thought possible: Julye: you have no idea how incredibly blessed I feel having you on this committee. You helped me feel confident in what I had to say as an emerging Jewish scholar (even just finding a Jewish scholar on campus was confidence boosting!)-my only wish is that we had met sooner and that I could have taken some of your classes. Jim: thank you for your course on challenging historical discourses and your critical questioning when it came time to deciding if you wanted to be on this committee. Thank you also for not fully accepting drafts of several of my chapters; as frustrated as I was having to add more at the last minute (including after the defense), I am very glad you stood your ground and forced me to learn more about myself as a researcher, a Jewish female in the US, and as a teacher in a public school. Suzi: where do I even start? From the fall of 2006 when I first entered Chapman and took your class on diversity to you calling me a big nerd when I finally had my A- v HA moment for my master’s thesis in 2009 to being part of my dissertation journey, you have really seen my evolution throughout this decade-long teacher-researcher adventure! Penny: you are the warm hug of love and support that only a Jewish mother can give. Even when my life was falling apart (and let’s be honest, you talked me off an emotional/mental ledge quite a few times!), you knew exactly what I needed to stay focused. Your job definitely goes beyond being a committee chair and advisor (you should be getting an award AND extra pay for all that you do) and I will definitely miss our long lunches at Rutas, our meetings after the Chapman Holocaust awards ceremony, and sending you long email updates! Sorry again for keeping you suspense about what the sex was of my baby-I know it was killing you, but it was a great surprise! Speaking of babies, Nathan, I’m not going to lie-my first thought when I found out I was pregnant with you in March of 2015 was not a pleasant one (I think my reaction, was “Oh my god! This is NOT a good time! I have a dissertation to do!”). However much I procrastinated on my work because of you, you were worth it. I’m sorry I exiled you and Daddy on the weekends, but if you were around, I would get nothing done because you are so cute and kissable. I’m not sure what the United States will look like after this presidential race, but do know that as much as Jews have moved away from the Holocaust in terms of years, numbers of survivors left, and whether it can happen again, you should not be so complacent that you forget the history of the past. Likewise, even if your dad and I do not impart in you any adherence to Jewish traditions, please know that there is something so innate to being born and raised Jewish that no matter how much intermarriage or conversion takes place, you will always be tied to something so much larger than yourself. vi To my husband Aaron-there are not enough words in the world to express my gratitude for all that you have done for me. You are an amazing father, coach, mentor, friend, and partner in crime. We have been on quite the roller coaster during the dissertation year and I wouldn’t want to be holding on tightly to anyone else’s hand during life’s ups and downs. I love you so much and I swear there is no more school for me-I’m finished! To my parents, Lew and Karen Siegler-you have always been my biggest cheerleaders, even when I wasn’t telling you exactly what I was working on. Thank you for your support, love, patience, acceptance, and the countless bags of food when we would meet at the gas station after I got out of class. Individually, you both have faced life’s challenges with grace and humility and together you have stood strong when others would have given up. Although I do not say it enough, I love you very much and I do not know where I would be without you both. I know my getting pregnant during the dissertation year was not expected, but I am so thankful you both always held me to a higher standard and made sure I finished on time. Lastly, I would like to thank the women that participated in this study. Without you, there would be no study and I would be stuck trying to figure out the positionality of Jewish women in public schools on my own. Thank you for your patience while I figured out how to do the dissertation-even when I had no clue what I was doing! I cannot say how blessed I am to have met you and heard your stories. You have forever changed my life. vii ABSTRACT Inside/Outside/In-between: Understanding how Jewish Identity Impacts the Lives and Narratives of Ashkenazi Female Public School Educators by Mindi E Benditson Since Ashkenazi Jews in the United States are not a visible minority, it often becomes difficult to distinguish what/who is a Jew.