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3-5-1996

The Grizzly, March 5, 1996

Marc Ellman Ursinus College

Mark Leiser Ursinus College

Jason Bechtel Ursinus College

Melissa Forbes Ursinus College

Jared Rakes Ursinus College

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Recommended Citation Ellman, Marc; Leiser, Mark; Bechtel, Jason; Forbes, Melissa; Rakes, Jared; Bowers, Chris; Walker, Hera; Tucker, Colin; Falcone, Laurie; Kenny, Christy; Godek, Denelle; Urban, Jennifer; Schofer, Joel; and Weingroff, Charlie, "The Grizzly, March 5, 1996" (1996). Ursinus College Grizzly Newspaper. 377. https://digitalcommons.ursinus.edu/grizzlynews/377

This Book is brought to you for free and open access by the Newspapers at Digital Commons @ Ursinus College. It has been accepted for inclusion in Ursinus College Grizzly Newspaper by an authorized administrator of Digital Commons @ Ursinus College. For more information, please contact [email protected]. Authors Marc Ellman, Mark Leiser, Jason Bechtel, Melissa Forbes, Jared Rakes, Chris Bowers, Hera Walker, Colin Tucker, Laurie Falcone, Christy Kenny, Denelle Godek, Jennifer Urban, Joel Schofer, and Charlie Weingroff

This book is available at Digital Commons @ Ursinus College: https://digitalcommons.ursinus.edu/grizzlynews/377 •

"Money is not the most important thin$! in the world. Love is. \'Forfunately, I love money. " Th~ Grizzly - Jackie Mason

Volume XVIll Number XVII Ursinus College March 5, 1996

Airband Raises $5,000 Borsdorf Appointed

before doctors would consider pro­ college faculty, staff and adminis­ by Governor Ridge claiming Ryan "cured." During a tration. Prizes and donations, con­ recent examination, doctors dis­ tributed by local businesses, were tors and thousands of schoolchil­ covered a slight trace of leukemia awarded to the top three acts. FrOID College dren from across the state have On Friday, March I, Ursinus stu­ still in Ryan's bones. They are First place was awarded to the COl11lDWllcations participated in this day of physical dents raised over $5,000 for Ryan hoping that the leukemia will be sorority Tau Sigma Gamma for their fitness. Auch, Ursinus class of 1998, who gone by the time they re-check in rendition of "The Greatest Melody Dr. Laura Borsdorf, Ursinus Col­ YOUTHFIT was designed with was diagnosed with acute lympho­ March. Ever Told" by Whoopi and the lege associate professor of exercise the physical and developmental eyticieukemia(ALL). For the 13th "I've just been taking it one day Ronelles. Fraternity Beta Sigma and sport science, was recently needs of the individual student in year in a row, the student Resident at a time because that's really all I Lambda won second place with their named a member ofthe Governor's mind, where each pupil is enouraged Assistants hosted 'Airband,' a lip­ can do," said Ryan, who could not perfonnance of a variety of oldies. Council on Physical Fitness and to develop his or her own personal sync contest. Each year, Sorority Kappa Delta Sports by Pennsylvania Gov. Tho­ lifetime fitness program rather than aU the proceeds are con­ Kappa took third place mas J. Ridge. A founder of the just focus on specific sports skills tributed to a specific with a compilation of Pennsylvania Governor's Challenge that one will probably not play charity. songs and acts by Jim Fitness/Education Awards Pro­ throughout life. Borsdorf com­ "It's people like this Henson's Muppets. gram, Borsdorfhas spent consider­ mented on potential improvements that make hard times The primary able time developing programs de­ need to be made in statewide fitness for others a little easier source of the money signed to help America's youth to programs, saying, "We need to put to bear," said Robin was raised by charg­ maintain a healthy lifestyle. more emphasis on the guidelines Zelenak, Ryan's older ing admission and reg­ The Governor's Challenge was set by the federal government for sister. "It seems every istration fees. Addi­ developed by Borsdorf and mem­ the year 2000. We also need to start tfme (my parents) get to tional funds were bers of the Governor's Council on with the youth, and pay closer at­ the end, something good earned through a 50/ Fitness and Sports in cooperation tention to the amount of time youth happens." 50 raffle, keg tines, do­ with Pennsvlvania YOUTHFIT, spend perfonning physical activity Ryan, 20, was a foot- nations and penny vot­ Borsdorf's bralDchdd. The and participating In quality physi­ ball lineman, heavy­ ing, in which the audi­ Governor' s Challenge requtres stu­ cal educatlon classes." Borsdorf weight wrestler and ence was encouraged dents to participate in 48 hours of developed the Y OUTHFIT program Photo by Kristen Schumann sbot-putter at Tau Sigma Gamma won first place to put change in a jar independently selected, supervised through research conducted during ~iomen Valley High corresponding to their physical activity as well as to meet a semester-long sabbatical leave School, wherehegradu- favorite group. Beta educational and community service from the College, where she has in 1994. He was diagnosed attend the competition because of Sigma Lambda won the penny vot­ requirements. Two primary jobs of been a faculty member since 1986. ALL in March of 1995. Last the risk of being exposed to infec­ ing competition. the Governor's Council are to sug­ The program is funded in part by Nltptember, he underwent a bone tion. The money raised this year nearly gest fitness and health policies for the Eleanor F. Snell Endowed Chair transplant at Hahnemann "His spirits are really high," said doubles the $2600 donated to the the commonwealth and to enhance of Health and Physical Education at NUiaiv4ersitv Hospital in an effort to Bob Auch, Ryan's father. "He Wissahickon Hospice last year. the overall fitness and health of the Ursinus, and it is endorsed by the MIIlIltlle e1tfects 01fthe disease. Ryan's can't wait to get back here." "I think it's really great to see the people of Pennsylvania through Pennsylvania Association ofHealth, IjJ~year-()ld t)ro~lter. Robert, donated The 12 organizations that com­ whole campus come together to sup­ special advance programs, like the Physical Education, Recreation and for the operation. peted included students from all port one of our own students," said Great Pennsylvania Workout. In Dance. ~th01Ugh ALL is the most com­ aspects of campus life. The danc­ senior Heather Klinger, this year's past years, on May 1, state legisla- most curable form of leu- ing, "singing," and overall inven­ student chairperson. tiveness was judged by a panel of

SPORTS I Softball Team Ranked 10th Unless You've in U.S. Tried it! -- Page 12 M.rcIl5.

News Roundup All About Pledging time in the cafeteria). Melanie Williams, president 0; ~ the Inter Sorority Council (ISC) says she understands that then Primary Update Lost in Space Rocks, baseball bats, cinder needs to be rules for pledging bill blocks, Army helmets, singing at she wishes that public line ups could The primaries are underway and the candidates The $443 million satellite that was set into orbit all hours, and sleep deprivation. still be in existence. are making their stands in states across the nation. prematurely when its tether broke will remain lost, Believe it or not all these things "When I was a pledge I thought The most astounding candidate ofthe last week has a decision made after careful consideration by have something in common. They public line ups were fun," Williams been millionaire publisher Steve Forbes. Accord­ NASA officials. A rescue plan was ruled out after all belong in every pledge's dreams said. "I feel bad that other ing to him, his frrst win in Delaware was "a great the break in the tether due to the danger associated and/or nightmares. All pledges can can't experience that." triumph ... the beginning of a comeback that will with the thin, 12-mile-Iong cord which could wrap let out a collective sigh of relief Andy Rubf, president ofthe because pledging for Spring '96 carry us to the nomination." He was virtually out itself around the shuttle. Still, the rescue was Fraternity Council (IFC), says has come to a close. of the race after the New Hampshire primary. Now pondered for a whole day. Some of the consider­ he is happy with pledging This spring there were a few he has the 12 Delaware delegates and the 39 ations were the safety of the astronauts, the value of wishes, "there were better .C.. II ...... changes in pledging procedures. Arizona delegates! the satellite, and the amount of fuel remaining. between all the Greek organiD­ The main change was the addition Bob Dole received his frrst two primary wins in One important point is that the cord is still tions on campus." of two sororities to spring pledging the Dakotas last week. In these states, however, the generating 3,500 volts ofelectricity from the earth's The fundamental idea of groups. This change will remain 18 delegates are divided among the top winners, magnetic field. In order to be protected, the ing is unity. Pledges are ~W"''''''_II. J intact next spring and will expand whereas all of Arizona' s delegates went to the astronauts would have had to use a cord from the to learn how to work u .... clll..,r ~...... to include all sororities. highest winner. Dole' s new concern is that Forbes shuttle as a ground wire and would need to insulate depend on others. Pledges Another change was the elimina­ will take away his claim to the mainstream. it with tape. The expensive satellite made by the Tiriro and Gina Walls agree tion of public line ups and actions. Buchanan has only taken delegates from the Italian Space Agency was designed to fly only pledging does accomplish its tasks, No type of group singing, shouting, Dakotas since the New Hampshire primary. His once, which is one thing in favor of retrieval. The but they also say that they 8fei or any other group actions are al­ anti-abortion, anti-free trade, anti-immigration most important factor in the decision, however, "elated" that everything is now over. lowed to occur in public (i.e. lunch platform has failed to gamer the support he needed. was the propellant levels. Getting the half-ton Buchanan's only hope now is that the splitting of spherical satellite back would require four more the mainstream between Dole, Forbes, and days of space flight, which the shuttle cannot Alexander will leave him with the largest core of afford. voters. The scientists then began concentrating on re­ Lamar Alexander is still maintaining small per­ trieving all data from the satellite before the batter­ Thfl Grizzly centages in each state, but his loss to Sen. Phil ies died. There was at least the hope of learning Gramm in North Dakota was a humiliation. Sen. about what went wrong as well as the possibility of Co-Editors In Chief Gramm had dropped out of the race a week before getting some knowledge regarding the purpose of that primary. the satellite. Marc Ellman Mark Leiser In the democratic primary, President Clinton Its original purpose was to inv~stigate the possi­ Managing Editor easily defeated challenger Lyndon LaRouche, put­ bility of generating power from the rotating motion Alicia Darby ting a quick end to that glimmer of a doubt. of satellites in orbit in earth's magnetic field . The The Republican candidates now move into the hope was to provide a power source for the future Layout and Design Coordinator space station. The NASA managers have now month of March during which 60% of the delegates Colin Tucker will be chosen. With Forbes in the lead carrying 60 determined that a rescue attempt would not be delegates, Buchanan with 37, and Dole with 36 the advisable and the satellite will bum up on re-entry Faculty AdvIsor race is nowhere near over yet. in three to four weeks. Margot Kelley Page EdItors Michael McCuen Opinions Beah1ceMay Arfs& Entertainment Colin Tucker Have fun ATTENTION CLUBS! Features Jill Schnader Sports Charlie Welngroff this summer! Now is the time to order custom silk­ Assistant Sports Joel Schofer screened products at reduced rates! General Staff Spend time at the Jersey Shore! Bu.s1ness Manager - Mike Fleming: CJrcaladoD MalID8p' Colin Tucker; Photographers - Vicky WlIklns, KrIsten Great deals on summer rentals • T-Shirts Wustrator-Dominic Bui; Writers-Jason Bechtel, Vince are still available! • Hats Todd Brenneman, Joseph Catalfano, Amy K. Davenport, Doyle, Melissa Forbes, Denelie Godek, Robin Loiacono, • Umbrellas Mclachlan, Anne-Marie McMahon, Megan McShane, Jared Avalon Real Estate Agency Nicole Shiner, Lauren Williams 30th and Dune Drive • MuchMore! Avalon, NJ Og202 Editorlal Polley All letters and articles submitted to The Grizzly must be signed by the author. Call now for more information names will be withheld from publication upon request Opinions that appear v (609)-967-3001 are those of those authors, and not necessarily those of the student body or V (gOO) 967-7796 ir 1-800-481-3998 tion. The GriZZly reserves the right to edit any submission for grammatical. or spatial purposes . Ask for Paul or Rand'.:) Leiser •:. Great for fundraising .:. larch 5.1996 OPINIONS

A Feminist's Point of View "My God"

To the Editors of The Grizzly: America. I can only infer that Mr. other passage tells men to take their To the Editors of The Grizzly: Instead of answering to God, Baehr believes that female posses­ model for a bridegroom from Christ: atheists must answer to their fami­ In the Feb. 27, 1996 edition of sion ofequality is somehow respon­ they should not abdicate their "role Last semester the catch word was lies and friends, to themselves and The Grizzly, Benjamin Baehr wrote sible for the misery of so many of as initiator: in this day of aggres­ "homosexuality," and that dead their communities. They do not (and I'm paraphrasing) that one today's youths. sive feminism and passive mascu­ horse was beaten so badly, most of answer to their belief. could be assured of the detrimental It is impossible to state with any linity, we fear much harm is done in the campus community would likely Todd believes that atheists think effects of sex outside marriage by certitude what are the causes of switching this God-ordained role" prefer to forget it exists, and that's the world meaningless and them­ looking at the state of America pro­ eating disorders, crime, drug abuse (23). This God ordained role would unfortunate. Nearly every week I selves worthless. This argument ceeding the Sexual Revolution of and depression. For someone to keep women in submission. This walked out of Zack's contemplat­ stems from a belief that God pre­ the 1960s. He sites as examples of make a connection between a hu­ distribution of anti-feminist senti­ ing rebuttals that were never writ­ scribes meaning to the universe and decline the increase in eating disor­ manistic endeavor to gain equality ments occurred during Diversity ten. I had to keep reassuring myself our lives, and Todd "choose[s] to ders, drug abuse, lowered SAT's for women and the ills of an entire Week. that this circus ofcounter-arguments believe" this, in light of Biology scores and juvenile crime. nation is dismissive and ignorant. I I wonder what this God, who Mr. would eventually die down, and and Philosophy courses along with Since the Sexual Revolution of was extremely offended as a woman Baehr assures us will forgive, would we'd start focusing on people in­ reading (of the Bible, I admittedly the 1960s was primarily centered and as a feminist by his article. think ofa group of people, speaking stead of preferences. I didn't want presume). I've read my share of around giving wom~n the right to Earlier this month, on Valentine's in His name, who would keep to be a performer in the circus. history and taken Anthropology 100 have sexual and reproductive con­ Day, the Intervarsity Christian women in servitude and deny However, when I read Todd (Todd sat in the back, if I remem­ trol over their own bodies, giving Council distributed small booklets women dignity? I wonder what God Brenneman's article concerning a ber), so perhaps I'm qualified to women equal job employment and on various subjects from love to would think about making women belief in God (in the Feb. 13 issue), rebut: From the dawn of civiliza- wage opportunities, and giving sexual abuse. In one publication, the scapegoats for the problems ofa I knew I needed to voice my own tion, we have invented God--a be­ women the same human dignity Dating & Marriage written by whole society? And if this God is a opinion before this becomes a mat­ lief in God is a social convention, that men have enjoyed for centu­ Melvin and Helen Friesen God that is so inegalitarian, He can ter of heated debate. Early in his whose function is to justify behav­ ries, I can only infer that Mr. Baehr (InterVarsity Press, 1982), the au­ keep his forgiveness. article, Todd states his opinion that ior by placing ultimate authority believes that somehow giving thors state that for women, it is our "there are no true atheists" on the outside of our reach. Concepts of women the same rights as men have "responsibility to love, respect and Erin Gorman grounds that God have been somehow caused the decline of submit" to our husbands (19). An- Class of1997 there is no used to. legiti­ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~oofofilie OurfocwshouMbewi~ mize govern­ nonexistence people, not with proving ments and ide­ of God. My re­ ologies with The Role of the Soul in Evolution sponse to this or disproving the exist­ their ability to argument is ence ofGod. Personally, legislate life that the theist through a sense Is it possible for souls to be the genes. For believers in the soul, it tion in the strict sense that it is is equally inca­ I don 't think we Ire ofabsolutemo- subject of science? According to is a very discomforting thought that applied to animals. This is not to pable of dem­ qualified. rality but God Robert Dawley's defmition of sci- the purpose of human existence IS say that evolution does not occur in onstrating that is still invented. entific fact (Grizzly, Dec. 1995), the perpetuation ofour genes. How- human populations, but rather oc­ God does exist. It brings an all the existence of the soul may never ever, just because it is not the re- curs with slight modifications due There should be no need to disprove new meaning to "my God." More­ be scientifically validated as fact sponsibility of evolution to explain to the coexistence of the soul which God's existence until it has first over, God has been used through­ because it is not a physical, observ- the soul does not mean the theory may account for the many excep­ been proven. The burden of proof, out history to justify violence and able phenomena. Indeed. the very exclusively denies its existence or tions to the patterns evolution might as they say, is yours. bloodshed. and cultures through­ concept of the soul is that it is the that the two cannot coexist. predict. Perhaps such exceptions Todd goes on to justify his view of out the world have been destroyed nontangible portion of the are an indication that in atheism as an escape, presuming by differing concepts of God. We human body. It is what humans. unlike other or- that such a belief is merely a denial can use God to justify just about makes us think, learn, and I hope neither to prove the eXlstence ganisms, there is a purpose of the Judeo-Christian God which anything. Maybe the world is a feel emotions-- it is what ofevolution nor that ofthe soul, but greater than the propaga­ he mentions. Todd suggests that all more dangerous place with God in makes us human. How- rather to show that even within the tion of genes and that the of us should accept God, and so be it. There was even a time when the ever, if science is unable to soul allows some of the responsible for our actions upon European nobility could literally accept the soul as fact, its limits ofscience it is possible for the physical mechanisms to be death, implying that God has com­ buy their way into Heaven. Can this theories are certainly not two to coexist. overridden. As humans, it municated to us what constitutes be called responsibility? Is the twen­ held responsible for ex- is possible that our behav- responsible behavior. Todd is in tieth century somehow better flaining the soul. ior is not exclusively con- fact taking for granted more than a equipped to intuit God's will? What­ What role then does the soul play If one believes the body and soul trolled by our genes, but that we belief in a "cosmic force." To my ever our purpose in this life might the context of evolution? The are separate entities, than the rules possess the unique power to in flu­ understanding, he is speaking about be, who can say they know with ul aside, the theory ofevolution is of evolution should apply only to ence our own behaviors. the God of the Bible. At this point I certainty? ite convincing and, although I the body. It has been observed that In any case, I hope neither to must respond that atheism is an Ironically, I don't consider my­ . I never physically observe its animal behavior best exemplifies prove the existence ofevolution nor equally strong belief, even in today's self an atheist. But, unlike Todd, I ccurence, it has satisfied me the concepts of evolution, whereas that of the soul, but rather to show muddled society. recognize that such a beliefis equally ugh to deem it a fact for my own human behavior is sprinkled with that even within the limits of sci­ Is it not possible that atheists take valid. Our focus should be with ses. Dawkins argues in his exceptions to the selfish way in ence it is possible for the two to responsibility for their lives by people, not with proving or dis­ k The Selfish Gene that a gene is which natural selection would pre- coexist. Undoubtedly, humans will choosing to believe there is no God? proving the existence of God. Per­ y unit of chromosomal material dict that humans would act. Why is continue to use their unique powers I would think that an atheistic be­ sonally, I don't think we're quali­ potentially lasts for enough this so? It is possible that because of the mind to ponder their own lief would preclude any abdication fied. Here's to hoping the circus tions to serve as a unit of humans are capable of thinking, existence. of responsibility. Atheists, not be­ doesn't set up shop on this one. I selection. However, this learning, and loving, the unique lieving in an afterlife, are forced to plies that organisms are survival qualities of humans often described Samantha Caggiano account for their actions here and Dennis Cormac McCarthy hines in which an individual's as the soul, human behavior does Class of 1996 now. Somewhere Between the Classes purpose is to perpetuate his not necessarily conform to evolu- of 1997 and 1998 March 5,1996

Don't Knock it Unless You've Tried it

To the Editors of The Grizzly: America in the 1950s is seen as the lieve that we are al\ severely malad­ available, proponents ofcondom us­ Benjamin also argues that people golden age of America. We had just justed. age may be aiding people to have who have premarital sex have a rela­ This is in response to last week's beaten the Nazi menace in World Benjamin also complains about safer sex. tionship which is based solely on sex article "In Support of Healthier Re­ War II, and now we were enjoying people having children out of wed­ Ifhaving children out of wedlock and, therefore, they could be scarred lationships" by Benjamin Baehr. our well deserved prosperity. lock. If he thinks this is a major is a major concern for him, Benjamin for life. First, I would like to say that I The problem is that nobody likes to problem in society, he should attempt should support the sale of condoms, When relationships end, those in­ respect his decision to wait until mar­ look at the dark side of golden agt.s. to resolve it. because it helps eliminate unwanted volved may get hurt regardless of riage to have sex. I was highly of­ America was not "Leave it to Bea­ In his previous article, "You Bet pregnancies. whether they have sex or not. If fended, however, when he did not ver" in the 1950s no matter how hard Your Life," he wrote that it was wrong I also have a problem with his people are truly involved in a rela­ show the same respect for others we try to make it appear to have been for Upsilon Phi Delta to sell condoms quote from Myron Magnet, which tionship just for sex, they would not who decide differently. so. for Valentine's Day. He argues that states that people who engage in pre­ be scarred for life because of a • In his article, he compares America I will admit, though, that there condoms are ineffective and there­ marital sex are more concemed with breakup. They would just find a new in the 1950s (before the Sexual Revo­ seems to be more social problems fore abstinence is the safest way to personal fulfillment than family sta­ sex partner. lution) to today' s world. He attempts today than back then, although not to prevent STDs and pregnancy. bility. In conclusion, I believethathaving to make the connection between the level that Benjamin would have Although abstinence is indeed the I believe that a good relationship is sex should be the couple's decision. crime, suicide attempts, low SAT people believe. However, one can­ safest method, it is highly unrealistic one that encourages people to fulfill Making love can only enhance a rela­ scores, etc. to having pre-marital sex. not make a direct connecti on between to believe that people will not have both familial and personal needs. tionship if people really love one This is quite ridiculous. social problems and sex. Never once intercourse simply because risks are Benjamin also implies that people another. No one should, therefore, In the 1950s many crimes and dis­ after having premarital sex does some­ involved. Therefore, people rely on should stay in a bad marriage. In put them down for expressing love. orders were highly under-reported one tum to their partner and say, buying condoms, which are 99% ef­ situations such as abuse and constant So please Ben, don't knock it unless due to societal intolerance. Statis­ "Y'know, honey, Ifeellike robbing a fective, if used correctly, at prevent­ fighting, parents should not stay to­ you try it. tics using this infonnation, therefore, bank, murdering someone, or devel­ ing pregnancies and STDs. gether for the sake ofthe children. If may be misleading and underesti­ oping an eating disorder." By increasing people's knowledge children are in a hostile environnlent, Karen Smith mate the actual level of these prob­ The majority ofthe population are of condoms, and making them more it can only be detrimental. Class of 1997 lems during the 1950s. not virgins, and I find it hard to be- Souls and Science: Trappe Shopping Center (Next to Clemens) Where Do We Draw the line? (iF 1996 URSINUS DELIVERY SPECIALS ~ To the Editors of The Grizzly: regarded as being the immortal or soul as an immortal and separate IAfiA' spiritual part of the person and, entity, as Professor Goetz described Medium 14" pizza $ 5.99 Professor Goetz's article in the though having no physical or mate­ in his article, then we enter a realm 0 Jan. 30, 1996 issue of The Grizzly rial reality, is credited with the func­ far removed from modem, materi­ 8 Large 16" pizza $ 6.99 brings to mind some interesting tions of thinking and willing, and alist science. questions. To what extent can the hence detennining all behavior." The problem lies not in the fact 8 2 Medium pizzas + 2 liter soda $10.99 existence (or nonexistence) ofsouls In this sense, I do not see how the that the "soul is not actually observ­ enter into science? In particular, soul can have a place in science. able" as Professor Goetz stated. 0 2 Large pizzas + 2 liter soda $12.99 should we consider the human soul Knowing what we do about genes There are many scientific phenom- in our study ofbiology and ena that are not directly Wings In Stuff evolution? observab Ie, but there is evi­ (All wings come with bleu cheese and celery) I think that the answers dence that they exist. to these questions depend Although we .. 8 Buffalo wings, onion rings, french fries, 4 chicken upon our defmition of the Should we consider the may not be able to observe fingers, 4 mozzerella sticks, 2 pepperoni sticks + I liter word 'soul,' since it can evolution on a large scale, soda $ 9.50 mean entirely different human soul in our study we can directly observe mi­ things to different people. croevolution or refer to the CD 16 Buffalo wings + 1 liter soda $ 4.95 Webster's New World o/biology and evolution? fossil record as evidence Dictionary defines the of macroevolution. How- 8 32 Buffalo wings + 2 liter soda $ 8.75 soul as "the moral or emo- ever, there is no way to test tional nature of a human the existence ofsomething Sand" iches & More being." In this sense, I, as a scien­ and inheritance, how can biologists as immaterial as a "soul" (by the tist, would not argue with the exist­ attribute all behavior to an immate­ second defmition). 12" Sandwich + medium fountain soda $ 4.49 o ence of a human soul. It is some­ rial entity? We do not have any tangible evi­ (Add 0.30 for chicken, turkey, or peppers) thing that can be considered a part We know that genes control hu­ dence that can point to the exist­ of human personality, a manifesta­ man development, including the ence of a soul in this sense. The 20" Giant sandwich + I liter soda $ 7.25 CD tion of our highly evolved brains, development of the brain. Since all basis of science involves testing (Add 0.50 for chicken, turkey, or peppers) and therefore a product of some­ of our behavior is governed by our hypotheses and backing them up thing tangible. brains in some capacity, we have to with concrete evidence. ~ Spaghetti & meatballs or sausage with salad Whether our unique personali­ admit that genes control much, if Therefore, we, as biologists, can and garlic roll + I liter soda $ 5.99 ties are products of genes or the not all, of our behavior. only include testable theories in our If the soul is considered a mani­ study of science. Depending on our Deliveries Available result of individual growth and Free Delivery learning, all humans have a sense festation of the human brain, then defmition of the word, this mayor I Mon Fri 4-9 may not include the soul. of themselves, an awareness that yes, it can be as much a part of No Minimum Required Sat & Sun 12-9 they are human, or, by the first evolutionary theory as the evolu­ defimtion, a soul. tion of any other trait (enlarged Cathy Malone fir 489-4271 However, the word 'soul' can also craniums, for example). Class of 1996 .:. We cater pizza parties with free delivery! .:. be defmed as "an e'1tity which is However, if we begin to view the 1II'C1I5,111.

What it ~a{fy Means to 6e Left Wing Money Rules 'the World

where in the world besides America, Socialists believe that in many electing him on that basis, since a you must be a socialist. instances religion (yes, Christian­ person with such a great personal Socia~ism is not a international ity included), nationalism, racism, fmancial situation could likely use movement bent on enslaving the sexism and homophobia are sup­ his tactics to help out our country, Perhaps your knowledge of so­ enlightened capitalist free world. ported by the bourgeois in order to Let's assume, just for a few mo­ right? cialism ends at ''those commies" of Socialism is a philosophy which prevent the working classes from ments, that I am not a big dolt. Wrong ... that's what people said elementary school fame. believes not only in the social poli­ arising and claiming what is right­ Actually, let's go even further, about the hugely successful one­ Perhaps you think socialism is cies associated in this country with fully theirs. and pretend for a few moments that hit-wonder, Ross Perot. dead, and every morning before liberalism, but in economic democ­ Socialists also believe everything I would be a worthy candidate for Steve inherited his fortune from you write a scathing letter to the racy as well. ' which happened in Russia after 1925 presidency. Yes, I know, but just his family, and now is hardly editor about the evils of premarital The pseudo left-wingers of our was evil and grotesque. pretend for a minute, OK? scrimping and pinching to keep the sex, you praise the lord for its de­ nation rarely argue against capital­ Outside of North America, so­ If! were tru ly a representative for money for himself, but rather is mise. ism. Instead, they believe in provid­ cialism has been, and continues to what the people ofour country want spending it quite lavishly trying to Perhaps when you speak ofpoli­ ing a meager two-year safety net of be, a vibrant political voice. In nearly and/or need, and I had a good pub­ get a little closer to the top of the tics in terms of directions, you use at best $350 a month to those mil­ every country of Europe socialists lic image, I would likely get elected, Rich Old White Men's Club. Sounds die term "right wing" for those lions of working or "lower" class hold numerous parliamentary posi­ right? Sure, as long as I had about like just the guy I'd want spending conservative followers 'of Rush human beings who every year are tions and always receive at least as $4 million to spend on advertising my tax dollars. Limbaugh you have grown to love, not lucky enough to survive the much support in presidential elec­ in each state, like Steve Forbes did Dole, Buchanan, and Clinton too: and the term "left wing" for those perpetual rise and fall of capitalist tions as did Ross Perot. in Arizona. none of these guys started out truly tree-hugging, reefer-smoking, economies. Socialism is not dead--it is not Our elections are supposed to be poor. Dole isn't a candidate be­ Birkenstock-wearing, PC-defend­ Socialists believe that every single even dying. The reason why we in about choosing the best person for cause people see him as a modem ing, bleeding heart homosexuals human being has equal right to America believe it is dead is be­ the job. day Moses, Clinton's hair is no you have grown to hate. free, excellent education and health cause it was never alive here in the The only thing that that Forbes longer cute, and it isn't the pointy However, I am here to tell all of care, and if anyone human being first place. guy has going for him is a silly tax hat and white sheet with eye holes you utilitarian bourgeois philistines receives better education or health From now until the end of the plan that Congress would never that make Buchanan so appealing. die true meaning of left-wing poli­ care than another because of eco­ year I will run a series of columns pass anyway; so unless we believe They are all rich, at least mon­ tics. nomic differences, a terrible crime giving a long needed alternative that there is some inherent value in etarily. In America there are two politi­ has been committed. political view on many of the won­ looking like one has a mouthful of Other people's money controls cal parties, a right wing party and a Socialist believe in producing derful events occurring throughout walnuts all the time, there's no our elections, and dictates who centrist party. Democrats, liberals, things which will be used rather the capitalist world. reason to elect him. Except, of makes it to the top. Seems to always pinkos, watermelons--whateveryou than producing things which will Hopefully, many ofyou will come course, that he has lots and lots of be the people who started there in wantto call them--are not left wing, sell. to a greater understanding of what money. the first place, doesn't it? dley are only slightly left of center. Socialists believe industrializa­ socialism and left-wing politics re­ But there must be some merit to To be on the left, at least every- tion is good. ally are.

Howdy, boys and girls, friends you don't give a damn about me and are. she and her husband (what'S his Finally, I am sad to report that on and lovers, classmates and faculty. what I do, I won't dwell on that. Buchanan ... Don't get me started. name again?) will probably be com­ the day I am writing this, the United Welcome to this week's edition of (Oh, my poor suffering ego!) This man is such an extremist, that fortably in the White House for States has entered into a new con­ your favorite column and mine, "the Instead I'm going to focus on ifhe were elected, itwould probably another four years of floundering tract with the devil itself, censor­ Cave." three completely different topics be illegal to ever have sex again, and worming around any impor­ ship. I, Captain, Jack, am once again today: the Presidential race, fun, without a license, women would tant issues. You will now see ratings for all pleased to bring you more wit and and the V -Chip. have to wear complete body suits so Ken Griffey, Jr. is starting to TV programs, and any new TVs wisdom so that it will enhance your The Presidential race is heating that no piece of flesh could ever be sound good, huh? So my suggestion you purchase will come equipped lives and make you better people. up. Forbes now leads in number of seen in public, and school children is vote for none of the above. Okay, with a device called the V -Chip, As you can probably tell from the electoral votes, with Buchanan and would now only have lunch boxes now onto the issue of fun. This is which will allow people to censor tone of those first few sentences, I Dole trailing behind. with pictures of their favorite min­ partly in response to Benjamin and block out fun shows like am in a pretty good mood. This is President Clinton is 'running al­ isters on them. Baehr's article last week. "COPS," or "NYPD Blue," because ltartly due to the little taste ofSpring most unchallenged on the Demo­ Dole is no better. How can some­ I don't need to go into details, but "the man" believes that ~ey are 'ever that we have had the last few cratic side. Frankly, this scares the one on life support run a goddamned lest not ye forget that sex, getting harmful. days, but also to the fact that I am living shit out of me. This means country? stoned, late night Cinemax, eating Can you say "HELLO COMMU­ finally going to live up to a New that there aren't five or six indi­ Forbes is just a spoiled rich boy, what's bad for you, playing video NISM, WELCOME TO OUR Year's Resolution and go on an viduals in this country that actually doomed to the same fate as John games, and yes, sex again are all DOORSTEP!" .planned road trip, as I have been would make a good leader. There DuPont. fun activities, which -- ifdone prop­ Oh well, maybe if I were Presi­ lUggesting you all do as well. can't be, because if there were, they And Alexander, who might be erly -- can be beneficial activities. dent, things like this wouldn't hap­ This trip will occur in a few weeks, would be running for election, and the only worthwhile candidate, is On that note: use condoms; avoid pen, but then again, I'm just plain 1Dd you will hear about it once it would make the rest ofthese clowns just about out of it. too much cholesterol; and don't take old ..... Captain Jack. happened. But since most of look like the pathetic choices they As for President Hillary Clinton, the brown acid. •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••A~ •••• • Movie Mania •••••

even broke his ankle performing a ways during the movie, it seems as if The movie is rather lighthearted, well as other cast members getting certain stunt. he is having a great time doing it. somewhat funny, and very enter- hauled off in ambulances. Rating- The so-called plot, put in the The ingenuity of some of the action taining. Although I wouldn't take 7 (Good) When I went to see Rumble in the movie as dialogue to fit between scenes is wonderfully entertaining. small children to this movie, it is not Movie quote of the week- Last Bronx, I did not approach it with my the nearly constant barrage of ac- Chan moves so quickly that it seems extremely violent and bloody, like a week's quote, "That's classified. I'd usual attitude as a critic. I really did tion scenes, concerns Chan visit- Steven Seagal movie. Most of the tell you, but then I'd have to kill not care about the plot and the act- ing his family in the Bronx, and time it seemed more like a live ac- you" was guessed by Mark Romano ing. I was simply looking forward becoming entangled with street tion Tom and Jerry cartoon. Rumble and was said by Maverick in Top to watching a bunch of people get thugs and diamond thieves. That's In three weeks ••• in the Bronx was no benchmark of Gun. I need to establish a new rule. the snot beat out of them. about it. The cheesy dialogue, filmmaking, but I appreciated it for If you have already guessed a quote This is about the 20th movie for ham acting, poor dubbing, and what it was -- a fun movie to watch and have been in the paper this year, Cantonese martial artist Jackie Chan sometimes implausible plot sim- HAPPY GILMORE with great action and stunts. This and you know the answer to the in about 20 years. This film is the ply add to the fun of the movie. movie has already raked in a bundle quote, you cannot tell anyone else. ftrst of his movies to be released Chan's skill as a martial artist is of dough, and should propel Chan I realize this rule is pretty much widely in the United States, even almost unparalleled, matched only starring into the mainstream in America. I unenforceable, but I know there are though he is a cult favorite world- by the great Bruce Lee. What look forward to more Chan movies honest people out there who will wide, with many Jackie Chan film distinguishes him from Lee is his Adam Sandler with bigger budgets. listen, and I would strongly prefer festivals taking place. Although he human quality in that when he is By the way, make sure you stick that people figure out the quotes 011 is no spring chicken at the age of40, clearly outnumbered, he turns tail around at the end of the movie. As their own without any help. This he still performs all ofhis own stunts, and runs away or takes off in a as jfyou are watching a videotape in a tradition in Jackie Chan movies, week's quote is "When 900 yeaJ'S which include dodging speeding vehicle ofchoice, rather than fight- fast forward. Chan uses whatever footage of outtakes from the movie old you reach, look this good you cars, and jumping from a three- ing his way through the mess. items are in the scene, such as skis, showing goofed-up stunts are will not!" Have a wonderful, relax- story parking garage onto the ftre Although he is obviously insane soda bottles, and refrigerators. You shown, which can sometimes get ing break, and we will talk movies escape of an a

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• WHAT TO DO BEFORE LEAVING FOR SPRING BREAK... . Residence Hall Closing Information

I.All resid~nce halls will be closed and locked on Friday, March 8, 1 ~~~ t3rammy 1996 at 5:30 PM. Students who are unable to arrange transportation to leave campus by 5:30 PM will be permitted to wait with their Award Winners belongings in the Wismer Lower Lounge. The Wismer Lower Lounge will remain open until 8:0Q PM.

2. The residence halls will reopen on Sunday, March 17 at 12 noon. Record of the year (awarded to artist and producer)- "Kiss From a Rose" - Seal Please do not plan to return until that time. During the recess period, halls will NOT be open for procurement of personal belongings. Album of the year- Jagged Little Pill- Alanis Morissette Residents will NOT be permitted to enter the residence halls for any reason during the spring recess. Song of the year (awarded to songwriter)- "Kiss From A Rose"- Seal

3. The Dining Hall will be closed after lunch at 1:30 PM on Friday, Best New Artist- Hootie and the Blowfish March 8, 1996. It will reopen for breakfast at 7:30 AM on Monday, March 18. Best Pop Vocal Performance, Female- "No More I Love Yous"- Annie Lennox

4. ZACK'S will close at 2:00 PM on Friday, March 8, 1996. It will Best Pop Vocal Performance, Male- "Kiss From a Rose"- Seal reopen Monday, March 18, at 6:00 PM. Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocal- "Let Her Cry"- Hootie and the Blowfish 5. The College is not responsible for personal possessions. Items of value should be taken home. See Student Handbook, page 27, item Best Hard Rock Performance- "Spin the Black Circle"- Pearl Jam seven. Best Metal Performance- "Happiness in Slavery"- Nine Inch Nails 6. In an effort to maintain security and conserve energy, students are required to do the following. Make sure: Best Rap Solo Performance- "Gangsta's Paradise"- Coolio A. Windows are closed and locked, shades drawn. B. Lights are out and door is locked. Best Rap Performance by a Duo or Group- '1'11 be There for You/You're all I need to get by"­ C. Unplug all electrical equipment, with the exception of aquariums. Method Man featuring Mary J. Blige D. Empty, clean, and unplug refrigerator, leave its door open. E. Sweep and clean floor. Best Country Performance, Female- "Baby, Now that I've Found You"- Alison Krauss HAVE A GREAT SPRING BREAK! Best Country Performance, Male- "Go Rest High on That Mountain"- Vince Gill Ha-t&. S, 1'116 p~ • ••••••••••••••••••••••• • ••••••••••••••••••••••

lr HE ~ILVER ~CREEN Women's Art to be on

pigeon or be blacklisted. To be passive censure of his fiancee, Cathy Display at Berman condemned a "Communist" or Lacey (Dorothy McGuire). I strongly even a sympathizer was to lose recommend this movie as a must-see EVERYTHING. For the actors, because it forces the viewers to re­ Wolfe had bestowed money to "Are you a member of the Com­ directors, producers, and writers, evaluate themselves and question their the Grace Church in New York munist party? Have you ever been the blacklist exiled them from the role in society. I have chosen to do City and instructed that the money amember ofthe Communist party?" livelihood that they loved and con­ only one review because I believe this be used for the purpose of Shortly after World War fl, these demned them to obscurity. This film is representative of the socially Works of women artists are fea­ " women's work." Thus, the two haunting questions were to be­ edition of" The Silver Screen" is a conscientious movies that vanished tured in "The Catharine Lorillard church 's rector and leading ladies come the controlling force in Ameri­ tribute to those men and women during the "Red Scare." The screen­ Wolfe Art Club Centennial Juried ofthe parish used the Wolfe legacy can society. Hundreds of Ameri­ affected by this dark period in writer of "Gentlemen's Agreement," Exhibition" scheduled for display to form the now 100-year-old cans lived in anxiety and apprehen­ American history. Paul Jarrico, and actress Anne Revere March 15 through April 14, 1996, women's art club. sion that they soon could be one of "Gentlemen's Agreement"- How were both black:isted. Other black­ in the Main Gallery of The Philip Due to exhausted funds and stu­ the unluckly to be labeled a "Com­ can four letters added to the end of listed filmmakers whose work I rec­ and Muriel Berman Museum of Art dents progressing to professional­ lIlUDist." No industry was more a man's name change his entire ommend seeing are Frank Capra (di­ at Ursinus College. Commemorat­ ism, the club was reorganized in affected by the Anti-Communist life? That is the question Phil rector of "It's a wonderful life" and ing the women's club's 100th anni­ 1925. Membership was restricted movement, known as "The Red Green (Gregory Peck) wants to "Meet John Doe"), Micheal Wilson versary, this juried exhibition in­ to the Greater New York area and Scare," than the film industry. All answer. Green -- or Greenberg -­ and Carl Wright (screenwriters for cludes current members' oils, wa­ exhibitions were open only to Iicets of the movies were investi­ a magazine journalist., poses as an "Bridge over the River Kwai"). If tercolors, pastels, graphics and members. Since 1954 member­ gated and no one was safe. Those American Jew living in New York you are able to get your hands on TV sculpture ranging from traditional ship and exhibition opportunities brought before the House of City to uncover the hidden preju­ with cable, look for the AMC docu­ to contemporary styles. An open­ have been available to all women UnAmerican Activities Committee dices within our society. In his mentary on the HUAC, "Hollywood ing reception, free to the public, will artists of professional standing (HUAC) were give a choice; re­ role, Green not only struggles with on Trial." take place Friday, March 15, from 5 regardless of their residencies. nounce Communism and be a stool the ridicule of strangers but the to 7 p.m. Today this national organiza­ The Catharine Lorillard Wolfe tion grants scholarships to art stu­ Art Club is the second-oldest dents and hosts an annual exhibi­ ,------, women's art group in the country. tion open to both members and WVOU -- 530 AM and 88.1 FM I WVOU The club originated as a local city non-members. Many of its mem­ group in 1896 which provided aid, bers are currently represented in Suday: 2 pm - Midnight: CLASSIC CD SUNDAY : Information! counsel, meeting and exhibition museums and prestigious collec­ with Bill Buckingham I space for young women art students tions nationwide and maintain I in New York City. The art club is memberships in other important named in honor of Catharine art organizations such as the Pas­ Cynthia Petyk : For schedule up­ Lorillard Wolfe, who was one ofthe tel Society ofAmerica, the Ameri­ Francyne Holland I dates, link to the country's ftrst art collectors and the can Watercolor Society, Allied EXCEDRIN HEADACHE #88 only woman among the 106 sub­ Artists, and Knickerbocker, USA. with Vince Blando I WVOUHomepage by scribers to the establishment of the The exhibition will travel to ven­ Dave McGuigan : way of the Ursinus Metropolitan Museum ofArt in New ues around the United States Anne-Marie McMahon I College Homepage York. through 1997. under Student Com­ Bill Buckingham munications. SKAV ALCADE with Jim Brett proTheatre will soon be presenting JABBERBOX with Jason Bechtel Romance Language, a comedy Karen Hollinger and Danielle Simonin Anyone interested in Lou Nemphos starting a new show by Peter Parnell! Joe Donnelly should leave us a mes­ Karen Rodemich and Amy Steckel Partial Cast sage at 489-77 5 5, stat­ ing when you would ROCK& ROLL RESURRECTION with David Webb Huck Finn - Ben Barbor FUDD & Cll-Cll: Eric Bohn and Chris Keleher be available for orien­ Louisa May Alcott - Jodie Poth Mike Kramer+ Lease tation and when you Diane Keller and Dawnn White Walt Whitman - John Barbour would prefer to con­ MARGINAL UNCERTAINTY Emily Dickinson - Christine Keyes with Dave Webb & Mike Pizzi duct your show. Charlotte Coshman - Lori Engler THERE IS ONE Tom Sawyer - Joe Catalfano AI Comog & Todd Brenneman LUNCHTIME SLOT Karen Hollinger and Danielle Simonin LEFT!!! Come see a group of literary characters from the late Karen Rodemich and Amy Steckel 1800s come together and express their own talents in a Bill Buckingham truly hilarious way! Join When: April 17-20 Mike Pizzi Dennis Prichett Where: Ritter Center Mike Pizzi WVOU! EXCEDRIN HEADACHE #88 with Vince Blando \.. ______.J The show is under the direction ofDr. Joyce Henry DJ DIRlY DAN: Danny Ly lijijllddl ••feIl5,1 •••

fACULlY SPOTLIGHT A\LUMNA ~POTLIGHT

related information. She then forms rapport with clients. Dr. E. Diane Lyle-Smith an advertising plan for the particu­ Beth's special advice? Do an lar company and schedules an ap­ internship at a television or radio pointment with them in order to station, even if you are only doing Name: Elizabeth Buckenmyer '93 determine their needs. According odds and ends. She also empha­ ation ceremony. In addition, Dr. MajorlMinor: Communication to her original plan and the needs of sized doing an internship during Lyle-Smith looks forward to the ArtslEnglish the company, Beth develops a pro­ your sophomore or junior year be­ possibility of having a few mini­ Clubs/Activities: Student Activi posal of networks and a schedule cause senior year is entirely too concerts throughout the semester, ties, USGA, Phi Alpha Psi, aimed at selling their product. hectic. Beth stressed the impor­ Exposure is the key. So says Dr. bringing the band to new audiences. Meistersingers, Concert Choir, Ms. Buckenmyer also gets in­ tance of extracurricular activities - E. Diane Lyle-Smith regarding her One possibility is an outdoor con­ Field Hockey, Lacrosse volved in the production aspect. She interviewers like to see that you plans for the band program at cert on the lawn behind the art mu­ Position: Account Executive participates in the writing process were socially involved in college Ursinus. Looking forward into her seum sometime in the spring. in Advertising of commercials and has also made because it builds character and re­ coming semester as band director, Although there is no music major appearances in some of them. flects your interests. Her fmal piece she has high hopes and big plans for offered at Ursinus, Dr. Lyle-Smith Beth is an account executive for According to Beth, the most im­ of advice was "Get involved with both herself and the band. does not see this as a downfall. Target Select Cable Advertising, a portant trait in this field is possess­ Career Services." There are a wide Dr. Lyle-Smith comes to Ursinus Instead, she sees it as an opportu­ company which advertises nation­ ing good communication skills. This variety ofopportunities available in with a distinguished past. She nity to bring together a group of ally on cable channels. Her particu­ includes oral as well as written skills. the office, but it is up to the indi­ completed her B.S. in music educa­ people ofvarious interests and back­ lar job entails selling television com­ It is especially important in sales to vidual to seek them out. tion with a concentration in trumpet grounds to take part in their shared mercial time on the fourteen cable be outgoing and persistent. Also, If you are interested in finding at Hampton University in Virginia enjoyment of music. She sees her­ networks such as CNN and MTV. have a good attitude. Sales has its out more about Beth's career or just and then went on to receive her self as the nucleus working to pull Typically, Beth calls a business and ups and downs, so it is easy to be­ want general career information, M.M. in music education from together this diverse group and asks what their media is. For ex­ come discouraged. Having a posi­ stop in Career Services, located in Bowling Green State University in bringing out their musical potential. ample, she fmds out who their tar­ tive attitude will combat this dis­ Bomberger 121. The people there Ohio. Later she completed her Ph.D. Even though she has only been get audience is, as well as other couragement as well as boost your would be happy to help you! in music at the University of North here at the college for a few weeks, Texas. already she has begun to get a sense From there she went on to serve ofthe campus community. Dr. Lyle­ as band director of three university Smith says she sees Ursinus as a bands -- Fayetteville State Univer­ family-oriented campus that invokes What's Up In Wellness? sity in North Carolina, Xavier Uni­ a sense ofa "home away from home" versity in New Orleans, and Bishop within the student body. She sees College in Dallas. In addition to the students as serious about their STD Awareness Week March 4-8 this experience, she has performed education, and within the band, she with various ensembles throughout sees a talented group with much her career. potential for the coming semester. Filling in for Tony Branker, she Dr. Lyle-Smith is a dynamic and others by learning ways to re­ from the Montgomery County looks forward to her semester with woman who is quite an asset to the duce your chances ofgetting a STD. Health Department will be on cam­ the Ursinus concert and jazz bands. Ursinus music department. She ~!li§ii!""tUII,Of The Gnzzl Remember - when you have sex pus to discuss STDs. Included in Dr. Lyle-Smith's major goal is to encourages the campus community with someone, you are having sex the presentation will be facts, statis­ gain exposure for the band within to take an active role in the appre­ Do you ever ask yourself if you with every sexual partner from that tics, and slides (Warning - Some the campus and the community. The ciation of music, for no matter who are at risk ofgetting a sexually trans­ person's past!! slides may be graphic! !). It will bands will perform on April 27 in or where you are, music serves a mitted disease (STD)? Well, if you Some hints: take place in Wismer Lower Lounge Bomberger Hall for the spring con­ function in all aspects of life. have ever had sex, the answer is yes. at 7pm. cert as well as playing at the gradu- • Learn to recognize the signs of However, most people think that "it common STDs. Wednesday, March 6, Sonja von ColI from Planned Parenthood will can't happen to them," but it can • Regularly check for signs/symp­ be on campus to do a demonstration Groovy Hippies a"d and does happen. An estimated 12 toms of STDs. million persons in the U.S. acquire program dealing with the different • Use a latex condom with a STD each year. STDs affect one types of contraceptives and how elasaleal etyle I" WIsmer spermicide every time you have sex. in four Americans. they can prevent STDs. It will be • Have sex with only one partner, chefs, including President STDs are diseases which are held in The Unity House at 6:30 pm. Strassburger and several students. passed from one person to another, To sign up for this demonstration Then, on Wednesday, March 20, usually during unprotected sexual program please call the Wellness "Every day 33,000 Wismer Parents' Lounge will be the or intimate contact. There are more Center at ext. 2412. Wismer will be overrun by both siteofanotherrestaurantnight. This than 20 STDs ranging from HIV to Americans get an STD. " hippies and graceful elegance in "etiquette class" restaurant night is genital herpes. No one can ever REMINDER: March. Two special affairs will co-sponsored by the Career Plan­ become immune to an STD. You THE WELLNESS CEN­ occur this month: Chefs Fare and ning and Placement Office. in­ can get re-infected, and you can and be certain your pa(1ner is not TER Wll..L CLOSE AT an Etiquette Restaurant Night. cluded in the restaurant night will have more than one STD at the infected (the more people you have 3:00 ON FRIDAY On Wednesday, March 6, this be advice for entree choice and in­ same time. sex with the greater the risk). MARCHS!! year's Chefs Fare will take place in struction on which fork to use with If STDs are not diagnosed and In hopes of reducing the number the main dining room. The usual each item when dining with future treated they can cause serious health ofSTDs and to make students more stations will be transformed into employers or clients. Space problems, including sterility and aware of Sills the following pro­ specialty stations serving a variety islimited to forty people, so sign up cancer. Most importantly, the HIV grams will be offered: of different foods. These stations in Food Service Office or in Career virus eventually leads to death. So, Tuesday, March 5, Kathy Hynes will be maintained by special guest Planning and Placement now! it is important to protect yourself Blood Drive Winners

Photo by Jennifer Courtney The sisters of Tau Sigma Gamma

Attention Freshman and Undecided Interestea in (jooa Conversation? Sophomores:

Come to tfU first meeting Ursinus now offers a Philosophy major. This oftfU Pfiifosopfiy Club / new major consists of courses in political philosophy as well as logic, ethics, metaphys­ WfUn: Suntfay !Marcfi 24 at 3:30 p.m. ics, philosophy of religion and philosophy of action. Students will still be able to take the old Philosophy and Religion major. Any WfUre: Dan!Jla[~ 1<9om #104 questions should be directed to Dr. Paul Stern, Fetterolf, Ext.2249. Registration is around wliat: !Mi/(g, Pizzi wil{ lead a discussion of the corner so look into the courses offered for 1JostoyevsKys "grand Inquisitor' Fall of 1996. 'Become a Copies are available outside - Pau{Stem's office (!fettero{j206) pliifosopliy major!

, - I I

PholO by Gregory Heisler 1II'C1I5,199& i§¢"ti~i iiii

I···········I ~c:..~h l?«~-x.~ :· Wrestling I ~e.:~ d~.ff.. «t • Swimming Ar~ O"""'V~r_ • Ok. SO school means homework • and sharpened no. 2 pencils. BUI iI doeSn1 mean you have 10 be CUI off • from your cash now The Olive • Garden has plenty of greal paying pan or [ulJ.lime opponunilies In • Ortman's Wrestling Montgomeryville. And making lime • [or Ihem is no problem. because our Teams Finish Sixth at schedule is designed around yours. • Check OUI our lerrific openings [or: • Career Comes to a Close Servers H08t&1H08te_ • Conference Championships Bunen • Bartenden Ursinus senior Mike Ortman saw 9-4. Line Cooks • Prep Cooks • his All-American dreams come to The losses end one of the best Dish Machine Operators • an abrupt end at the NCAA Divsion wrestling careers in Ursinus his­ Both the men's and women's Russel Whelan picked up three Apply In person daUy [com III wrestling championships at tory. Ortman owns the Ursinus ca­ swimming teams placed sixth at the individual medals for the men. He 2pm-spmal: • The Olive Garden • Cortland State University on March reerwin record with over 120 victo­ Centennial Conference champion­ was fourth in the 1,650 freestyle l200 Bethlehem PIke 1. ries. A two-time Centennial Con­ ships held February 23-25 at with a time of 17:12.42. Whelan Montgomeryville • • Ortman, unseeded in the 150- ference champion, he is the frrst Franklin and Marshall. placed seventh in both the 200 and • pound weight bracket, dropped a 4- Ursinus wrestler to qualify for the For the women, Cristin Veit won 500 freestyles with times of 1:49.52 • 1 decision to Upper Iowa's Chris NCAA tournament three times since three individual medals. She placed and 4:56.45, respectively. we are an equal opponunlty employer • Raiber in the preliminary round. In All-American and Ursinus Hall of sixth in the 100m freestyle with a Stu Kukla was a two-time indi­ I •••••••••••• his first consolation bout, Ortman Famer Greg Gifford accomplished time of :56.44. Veit also placed vidual medalist. He was sixth in the fell to Jason Kessen of John Carroll, the feat four times from 1978-81. eighth in both the 50 and 200 100 backstroke with a time of freestyles. She fmished the 50 free 0:56.33 and seventh in the 100 ------1 in :26.08, and completed the 200 in freestyle with a time of 0:49.49. 2:02.18. Dave Chrzanowski was sixth in THE Mandy Fingerlin, one of three the 1,650 freestyle with a time of Bears' swimmers named to the CC 17:48.07. Chrzanowski and Julien Academic Honor Roll, also won Pain were also named to the CC three individual medals. She placed Academic Honor Roll. A student fourth in the 1,650 freestyle with a must be a significant con tributer to time of 18:22.34. Fingerlin was his or her team, and be a sopho­ eighth in the 500 free with a time of more, junior, or senior with at least t.. 5:24.20. And, she was seventh in a 3.40 cumulative GPA to be named the 100 backstroke with a time of to the honor roll. 1:12.29. 495,,6945 Jen Schmidt, was sixth in the 200 breaststroke with a time of2:37.24, Congra:tula.tion s while Kelly Donohue placed sev­ At Limerick Golf Club enth in the 1,650 freestyle. She Swimmersl 765 N. Lewis Rd., Limerick, PA 19468 495,,5567 completed the race in 18:55.94. A PHILLV FAN Pro left tackle Lomas Brown, and, vide a little competition for Rodney mas and the two missing lineback­ der trouble that's been diagnosed as worst ofall, for an amount ofmoney Peete in training camp. If we're ers? a "minor case of tendinitis". I advo­ the Eagles gladly would have paid lucky it'll be enough competition to The Eagles have got a lot of work cate that he try pitching with the him. Why was a contract not of­ place Peete where he belongs, which cut out for themselves. There are other arm because it's obvious that Until last night I wasn't very fered to a man who clearly wanted is firmly planted on and chained to suddenly a lot of holes in a his throwing arm was meant to do tirtimistic at all about the Eagles nothing more than to play for Ray the bench. linebacking crew that was strong nothing but hang limply by his side. agent signings, or should I say Rhodes? Can you say "poor man­ We also have a new starting last season. People need to be It also should come as no surprise We'd lost starting outside agement"? cornerback (to replace the Smurf signed, and I mean now, because I that the other Greene, Tommy, p!l~backf:r Bill Romanowski, start­ In the last few days, however, we used to play there) because the will not watch an Eagles season in hasn't thrown since the last lunar tDI~miiddle linebacker Kurt Gouveia, things have brightened up a little Miami Dolphins refused to match which some special teamer rises eclipse because of back spasms. I jIaIrtinl~ cornelrnac::kMark McMillan, bit, and by "brightened up" I mean the Eagles offer to Troy Vincent. from the ranks to assume the middle guess he injured himself trying to on the verge of losing that the Eagles actually signed some­ This man can play ball, but not linebacker position. I would like it. hit 65 on the radar gun. wide receiver Fred Barnett. one. Yes, they actually made a only can he play ball, he can play though, if Mike Mamula were to To end on a lighter note, if the Granted, among these four play­ contract offer and it was accepted. ball with a driver's license in his play the outside linebacker posi­ Phillies pitchingstaffis falling apart. we've got one that's old, one We've now got Ty Detmer, the pocket that says he's 26 years old. tion, but that's another matter for at least we know one player who's calves disappeared halfway 1990 Heisman Trophy winner from In other words, he's young and will another time. definitely sucking it up and playing the season, one who's Brigham Young University who's be teaming with Bobby Taylor for The Phillies have managed to win with some pain. Crazy as it sounds. than your average gymnast, toiled for four years in the Green the next five years. their first game of spring training. first baseman Gene Schall is play­ who won't catch a ball ifhe Bay Packer organization. Don't get I pity any receiver that tries to 7-6, and earlier in the week man­ ing with a fractured skull he sus­ face a stiff wind, but they're too excited, though, because it' s not catch a pass in the Eagles secondary aged to shut down their first two tained when being hit in the head by and must be replaced. like we should expect this four year because it just got a lot harder to do. starting pitchers of the season. a thrown ball. Cardinals managed to snatch backup to come in and light the Then again, why pass when you can Yes, first half phenom Tyler highest free agent priority, AIl- place on fire, but at least he'll pro- run at lonely All-Pro William Tho- Green is out once again with shoul- SPORTS Marcil 5. 191& _ Softball LUKA RETURNS AS ALL-AMERICAN Team Ranked 10th in U.S. The Ursinus College women's baseman Loreen Bloodgood. Join­ CAGGIANO AND MILLER NAMED softball team has been ranked 10th ing the Bears' fold is graduate Janeua ACADEMIC ALL-AMERICANS in the nation in a pre-season poll Trecroce, the former Atlantic 10 published by FastPitch Worldmaga­ Conference Rookie of the Year. zine. Defending NCAA Division Trecroce, a junior, led Rutgers last Caggiano, junior Jen Courtney, with a 33.85. She qualified for III champion Chapman (Calif.) is season in runs scored (41), stolen and freshman Angela·Mullan com­ Saturday's event fmals with a near ranked number one, followed by bases (14) and triples (6). peted in Friday' s all-around com­ flawless 9.175 on the balance beam, Central (Iowa), last season's run­ Trecroce joins a team that in­ This past weekend, junior Carrie petition while Luka competed as a but scored an 8.35 with one fall on ner-up Trenton State, Rowan and cludes Nicole Kiwak, the 1995 Cen­ Luka, one offour competing Ursinus specialist on the vault and balance Saturday, giving her a 17.525 total Hope (Mich.). Buena Vista (Iowa) tennial Conference and ECAC Di­ gymnasts, travelled to Ithaca Col­ beam. on the beam. is ranked sixth, followed by vision III South Player of the Year, lege for the NCGA Division III Luka's 9.15 vault on Friday led Caggiano placed 25th in the all­ Montclair State, Allegheny, llIinois and Kim Sammartino, the 1995 National Championships and re­ her to Saturday's event frnals, where aroundwitha32.55, while Courtney Benedictine, and Ursinus. Centennial Conference Pitcher of turned an All-American on the vault. she scored a 9.05 to give her a two­ placed 26th with a 32.45. The Bears posted a 29-8 record the Year and the ECAC Division m Seniors Samantha Caggiano and day total of 18.2. This score earned Caggiano and senior Kim Miller last season, earned a share of the South Tournament MVP. Kim Miller also left Ithaca with AlI­ her a fifth place fm ish and AII­ were recognized as Academic AII­ Centennial Conference champion­ Her sister, Selena, a sophomore American status of a different sorts, American status on the vault. Americans for having GPAs above ship, and won the ECAC Division outfielder for the Bears, was the having been named 1996 Academic Mullan placed 22nd as an all­ 3.0 and four years of varsity partici- , III South title. Ursinus lost just one toughest Ursinus player to strike All-Americans. arounder in Friday's competition pation in gymnastics. starter from that team, second out a year ago. CHUCK'S WAGON

A really drawn out and long awful, backboard and careened off the shot that the Los Angeles Kings will a first name. You just don't see just like how I would say it. To my clock. Now this can happen in real never ever be a winning hockey guys named German or Pakistani dismay I slept through the bulk of life. You know how shot's get organization. Wayne Gretzky is any more. Imagine ify ou met a guy Appalling. I would just like to quarters 1-3 where most of the best blocked and sometimes you're off old, and he is on the down side ofhis named Japanese Jones or Brazilian say that it is absolutely appalling basketball was played, but I saw balance. But Zan released the ball career. Buthe is the bestthere is, the Smith. These guys would have fD that on multiple occasions this se­ that mighty 4th quarter, and the with no one within 8 feet and snapped best there was, and the best there be players. Plus, that draft pick mester, me and the Wagon have Magic were just maraudered. his wrist like Jordan in slow motion, ever will be just like Bret Hart and next year can be named anything. been the topic of discussion of the The Magic are not supposed to be and the ball cleared the shot clock. just like Donny Asper. You should Anything Anderson is playing cen­ Upper House's RA meeting. I fmd whipped by the Bulls. They' re sup­ Yes, we could have made that shot, see all the trophies and game balls ter for the Ottawa 67s out of 1be it hard to believe that a bunch of posed to lose, but not get powdered and yes, Zan Tabak does suck. But and stuff he's got in his basement. I Quebec League, and lastweekhelli people, whom I've never dealt with, like a bunch of little babies. The he's gettin' paid. honestly don't have an exceedingly up Sherbrooke of the Iron Leap: whom I don't know and who don't Magic don't, didn't, and probably Be careful not to blink because large amount of information con­ for a natural hat trick. What is til know me, have time to rag on me. never will belong on the same court slowly but surely that 90 inches of cerning the players the Blues gave unnatural hat trick? Maybe die There's nothing I can do if you don't with the Bulls. At least the Magic sludge named Shawn Bradley is put­ the Kings in exchange for Wayne Kings will be winners some day, like me or my column, but maybe are in the lottery next year with ting up some very nice numbers. He Gretzky. I do know they have some afterall. you can show respect to those in Golden State's 1strounder from the is playing tough. He did throw very cool names, and that can only Ryan McKenna outlastedandbf. your group that do. But then·again, Webber-Penny trade. And the rich Alonzo Mourning down like a ra~ be a positive thing. Wayne is kind up Josh Hartle with a barrageff in my experience, respect has never get richer. doll. True, Bradley is on the Nets, of a normal name, but Wayne guesses that fmally led to the fa­ been a part of Residence Life. How often do we say stuff like and someone has to score 23 points Dudley is the only Wayne at this swerto last week' s question.... Maybe it's like baseball. Leftys like "That guys sucks, and I could've a game because, well, the Nets only school that I can think of. was in bad shape, but should" it, rightys don't, and switch-hitters, made that shot?" Pretty often, and score 23 points a game. But So you give up a Wayne for a cover to sustain his spot as well, swing both ways sometimes. it's weird because the worst player Bradley's dunking; he's got little Patrice Tardiff (pronounced, well player on the tennis team. Now you have reason to talk about in the NBA, Mr. Zan Tabak of the jumpers that actually go in; and he's you know how to pronounce it), a finally came to the conclusion me. Grizzlies or Raptors, it doesn't mat­ even getting rebounds sometimes. Roman Vopat (pronounced, ok, it's Adorable Adrian Adonis was And now I have reason to talk ter which, would probably look like When he hip-tossed Mourning for getting old), a Craig Johnson, and a The Barber Beefcake's first vi about last week in the NBA. Word, Wilt Chamberlain against a post two on the reversal, he more impor­ 1st rounder next year. Patrice is a of a hair cut. It happened at did the Magic got destroyed by the threat like a Joe Bond. But on tantly outplayed him in the game. girls name, and girls play field conclusion of their match Bulls last Sunday. Goddes, Tuesday evening, Mr. Tabak He even looks coordinated when he hockey, not ice hockey, unless you Wrestlemania 3 at the Po Steigerwalt, and Augeli got de­ showed us all how wrong we can be. runs the floor. You have to at least live in New England. There is a Silvedome in Detroit, Michig stroyed too in 3 on 3 a while back, We can make shots the pros miss, be coordinated. If I'm going to girls national ice hockey team, frontof93,000+. Forthenext but they'd like to keep that quiet. and Zan Tabak proved it. He got a shred him when he's terrible, I must though. Craig Johnson is as Ameri­ e Big Gulps, huh? All right, see ya pass where he was wide open from sing his praises when he gets it done. can as AJ Gray, and hockey is a tion of the Week: The New later. about 9 feet out and 2 feet outside Shawn Bradley looks like he may be Canadian sport. But then you have ers were formed this past The Magic had Shaq and got the key. He had his feet set, he a player. Maybe it will be at back­ a Roman, a Roman Vopat. Now end on WWF Superstars, killed. No excuses; they were aw­ caught the ball right at his chest, gammon or Clue, but it looks like there's a name. Roman Vopat. That I'm sure you aU watched. ful. Spell it with a capital A, a lower brought the ball up with perfect he' s going to be a player. should just strike fear in the eyes of were the original Rockers? case a, a double A like Am Ander­ form, release, rotation, clunk. Zan After strong and lasting delibera­ opposing players. You've got to all for this week, and the pi son, the Magic were awwwwwful. Tabak' s shot cleared the entire tion, I have come to the conclusion like a guy who has a nationality for really was all yours.