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What Cross-Cultural Workers Ought to Know About Guilt

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What Cross-Cultural Workers Ought to Know About Guilt Of course, you may feel guilty • Temptation. Although we are never hardened,” making you much less likely to do What Cross-Cultural because you are guilty, and that is good. promised that we will be beyond something about the sin. Workers Ought to Know Although the Bible says much about being temptation, cross-cultural workers may about Guilt guilty, it says little about feeling guilty. If you feel guilty for being tempted to lie, cheat, Are guilt feelings worse for cross- feel guilty because you are guilty, you just or be sexually unfaithful. cultural workers? need to do something about the sin. However, Shame, rather than guilt, often brings on many people feel guilty without being guilty. these guilt feelings. Guilt means that you Guilt feelings may be worse for cross- Lately you have been feeling guilty, In fact, the guilt feelings may even be have broken Gods command, fallen short of cultural workers because of some special but are not sure why. People are suffering. stronger when there is no guilt. Here are a his expectations. Shame means that you have situations. They are dying without Christ. Your work few examples of things other than sin that may fallen short of the expectations of someone • Living standards. Some cross-cultural seems to make little difference. You are produce guilt feelings: other than God. It may have begun when you workers live quite affluently compared to having difficulty maintaining a consistent • Falling short of your own expectations. walked through a mud puddle, soiling your the people they minister to, and may feel devotional life. You just feel guilty about so This often happens during the first term, new shoes. Your parents said, “Shame on guilty about their wealth. This is many things that it is interfering with your especially for perfectionists. you, you should have known better.” Perhaps becoming less so as cross-cultural workers work. You begin to wonder if you are guilty. • Falling short of other’s expectations. there was no way for you to have known, and go to large cities. Why do you feel so guilty? Isn’t guilt bad? Your church, your family, headquarters, the Bible does not forbid walking in puddles, • Suffering. Many of the people cross- What can you do about feeling so guilty? and field director may expect more of you but you felt guilty. cultural workers work with are suffering What if the feelings don’t go away? Let us than you can possibly do. compared to Western standards, and all consider some of these questions. • Not forgiving yourself. After God has Isn’t guilt bad? their needs simply cannot be met. forgiven your sin, you may not be able to • Children’s education. Although MKs do Am I guilty? forgive yourself even though your guilt is Of course it is. That’s a major goal of better academically than non-MKs “back gone. cross-cultural work, to tell people in other home,” cross-cultural workers may feel This is the crucial question. All • Guilt trips by other people. Martha tried cultures that God has solved the sin problem. like they are not providing an adequate possible combinations of guilt and guilt to “lay a guilt trip” on Mary for not Aren’t guilt feelings bad too? They education. feelings are possible. You may be guilty and working hard enough in Luke 10, and she may or may not be. If they are caused by • Aging parents. Since cross-cultural not feel guilty, you may feel guilty and not be even tried to get Jesus to join her. things other than sin, such as some of the workers are out of their home country and guilty, or you may be guilty and feel guilty. • Oversensitive conscience. A good examples given in the previous section, they do not have large financial resources, they Any one of these is likely to interfere with conscience will produce guilt when you are also bad. They will interfere with the may feel guilty about not caring for aging your work as a cross-cultural worker. You sin; however, part of your conscience is cross-cultural worker’s goal of telling others parents. want to reach the place where you are not learned in your culture, and you may feel the good news. • Civil authorities. How can a cross- guilty and do not feel guilty. guilty for many things that have nothing Guilt feelings as a result of sin are cultural worker get anything done in a The Bible says much about being to do with sin. good. These guilt feelings provide motivation society where the local value system may guilty. A look in a concordance at “guilt” and • Survivor guilt. You may have gone for doing something about the sin in your life. conflict with that of the cross-cultural “guilty” will reveal dozens of verses about through a traumatic situation and may feel Without them people seldom come to Christ, worker? For example, what is the being guilty of sin. When you break one of guilty that you survived when others did and often have great difficulty in society, difference between a gratuity and a bribe? God’s commands, you are guilty—whether not, or feel guilty about what you had to perhaps becoming antisocial personalities People in their own cultures often have you feel guilty or not. If you are guilty, do to survive. (psychopaths) and getting into serious legal problems dealing with their affluence, the something needs to be done about the guilt, • trouble. Such guilt feelings tend to be Satan himself. Remember that Satan is suffering of others, their children’s education, and we will discuss that later. the “accuser of the brothers” in 1 Peter 5 strongest immediately after sin is committed, their aging parents, and their government, so and Revelation 12. His accusations can then to decrease as rationalizations are the difference is one of degree, not of kind. Why do I feel so guilty? generated. You then no longer feel the guilt, make you feel guilty. at least not nearly as much, and your “heart is What can I do about guilt? case, they need to talk with an experienced weekly, or at some other regular interval. cross-cultural worker and set more realistic Agree with the others, as to what you will goals. Of course, they may still not lower hold each other accountable for, and give this The natural response to realizing you are guilty is to try to hide or rationalize, such their expectations, thinking that they are meeting a high priority in your life. Include as Adam and Eve did. However, that will not different, that their ministry will be more daily devotions in any accountability plan. What Cross- solve the problem. Cross-cultural workers are effective. Christ died for our sins and there is no familiar with what to do about sin, but here is If the goals set for you by others are condemnation in Christ. There is no need to a review of the steps. too high, ask to have them lowered. One be hindered by guilt or guilt feelings. Cultural Workers • Confession. Certainly confess your sins teacher felt guilty for not spending the to God. You may also want to confess to required number of minutes on each subject Ronald Koteskey is Ought to Know people you have harmed as well. until she realized that the required number of Member Care Consultant Confession usually should be only to minutes each day was an hour and twenty New Hope International Ministries about Guilt minutes longer than she had the children in those actually affected by the sin rather class. The principal lowered the number of This brochure is one of a series, and than to the general public. required minutes. you are invited to suggest other topics you • Repentance. Repentance is more than Ronald L. Koteskey being sorry for your sins; it is a change of would like to know about to the following: purpose or a change of mind. We are to What if the guilt feelings don’t go turn from our sinful ways to God. After away? Ronald Koteskey 122 Lowry Lane forgiving her, Jesus told the woman taken Wilmore, KY 40390 in adultery to sin no more. Guilt feelings that you have had for a Phone: (859) 858-3436 • Faith. Christ paid the penalty for our sins, long time as a result of sin may become e-mail: [email protected] and we must trust him for this. conditioned responses and remain even after • Restitution. As far as possible, try to the sin is forgiven. Just as Pavlov’s dogs Visit the following web site to access make right the wrong you have done. If salivated to the sound of a bell, so you may other brochures in the series: you have stolen something, you can feel guilty when some event triggers the guilt www.crossculturalworkers.com usually return it. Of course, if you have feelings, even after the sin is forgiven and the destroyed another’s reputation, you may guilt itself is gone. These responses gradually not be able to rebuild it. decrease and stop over time. If they do not go away, you may need What can I do about guilt feelings? to talk with your pastor or a counselor about why they are still there. You may have hidden That depends on the cause. If the things under layer after layer of rationalization guilt feelings are because of sin, follow the and may need someone else to help you sort it steps reviewed above. If the guilt feelings are all out.
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