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Handling Difficult Personalities and Behaviors in the Workplace Faculty Handling Difficult Personalities and Behaviors in the Workplace Presented by: Miriam Reiss Clear Law Institute | 4601 N. Fairfax Dr., Ste 1200 | Arlington | VA | 22203 www.clearlawinstitute.com Questions? Please call us at 703-372-0550 or email us at [email protected] All-Access Membership Program ● Earn continuing education credit (CLE, CPE, SHRM, HRCI, etc.) in all states at no additional cost ● Access courses on a computer, tablet, or smartphone ● Access more than 75 live webinars each month ● Access more than 750 on-demand courses Register within 7 days after the webinar using promo code “7member” to receive a $200 discount off the $799 base price. Learn more and register here: http://clearlawinstitute.com/member Clear Law Institute, © 2018 Handling Difficult Personalities and Behaviors in the Workplace Presenter: Dr. Miriam Reiss, DSS, MCC Copyright, 2018, All rights reserved, Dr. Miriam Reiss, [email protected]. Handling Difficult Personalities and Behaviors in the Workplace Definition of Personality: The sum of characteristics and traits that define a person’s typical thoughts, emotions and behaviors over time. - Malik Copyright 2018, All rights reserved, Dr. Miriam Reiss, [email protected]. www.ClearLawInstitute.com (703) 372-0550 1 Clear Law Institute, © 2018 Handling Difficult Personalities and Behaviors in the Workplace Definition of Behavior: The way in which one acts or conducts oneself, especially toward others. Copyright 2018, All rights reserved, Dr. Miriam Reiss, [email protected]. Handling Difficult Personalities and Behaviors in the Workplace Definition of Personality Disorder: Those who have personality traits that are considered outside of the norm and potentially harmful to themselves and/or others. Examples: Antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder. Copyright 2018, All rights reserved, Dr. Miriam Reiss, [email protected]. www.ClearLawInstitute.com (703) 372-0550 2 Clear Law Institute, © 2018 Handling Difficult Personalities and Behaviors in the Workplace Some researchers have found that traits of narcissism - such as a sense of entitlement and lack of empathy for others – are higher in Generation Y or Millennials (sometimes referred to as “Generation Me”) than in previous generations, which can make for more challenging interactions within office environments. (Twenge & Campbell, 2008) Copyright 2018, All rights reserved, Dr. Miriam Reiss, [email protected]. Handling Difficult Personalities and Behaviors in the Workplace Workplace incivility has been shown to affect the majority of workers in the U.S. (96%) according to one study, and result in lower productivity and time spent at work, among other negative consequences. - Porath & Pearson Copyright 2018, All rights reserved, Dr. Miriam Reiss, [email protected]. www.ClearLawInstitute.com (703) 372-0550 3 Clear Law Institute, © 2018 Handling Difficult Personalities and Behaviors in the Workplace What are “toxic” workplace behaviors? Belittling behavior, gossip/slander, double standards, yelling at others, taking credit for others’ work, bullying, extreme criticalness/judgment. Also: Conflicting personality styles. Examples: Levels of socializing, need for quiet, distraction levels, metabolic differences. Copyright 2018, All rights reserved, Dr. Miriam Reiss, [email protected]. Handling Difficult Personalities and Behaviors in the Workplace Difficult personalities: (Source: Universal Class] 1. The Gossip: talking about others, spreading rumors. Underneath the surface: insecurities, drama-loving. Designed to shift focus from themselves; make them look good and others bad; misguided attempt at connection with others. Copyright 2018, All rights reserved, Dr. Miriam Reiss, [email protected]. www.ClearLawInstitute.com (703) 372-0550 4 Clear Law Institute, © 2018 Handling Difficult Personalities and Behaviors in the Workplace Handling the gossip: 1. Tell them you don’t want to gossip. 2. Try to stay out of gossipy conversations and don’t share personal details of your life with that person. 3. See their behavior as part of them, not you. Don’t take it personally. 4. Don’t try to control their behavior, focus on your own behavior and be a role model. Copyright 2018, All rights reserved, Dr. Miriam Reiss, [email protected]. Handling Difficult Personalities and Behaviors in the Workplace 2. The Blamer: shift responsibility from themselves to others when things go wrong. No accountability. They don’t admit or apologize for their mistakes, bad decisions or poor performance. May stretch the truth to make themselves right. Copyright 2018, All rights reserved, Dr. Miriam Reiss, [email protected]. www.ClearLawInstitute.com (703) 372-0550 5 Clear Law Institute, © 2018 Handling Difficult Personalities and Behaviors in the Workplace Handling the blamer: 1. Redirect them to verifiable facts. 2. Own up to your own mistakes. Don’t let them guilt-trip you. 3. Maintain firm boundaries. Create your own safety and limits with them. May be hard to get them to see their part. Copyright 2018, All rights reserved, Dr. Miriam Reiss, [email protected]. Handling Difficult Personalities and Behaviors in the Workplace 3. The Flyer: highly emotional, reactive, flies off the handle at any time, aka drama king or queen. Wants drama, attention, may be flamboyant, may exaggerate, may have surface relationships with others to get their emotional needs met. Can be funny, entertaining, energetic, until their needs don’t get met. They “fly off the handle,” get angry, dramatic. May be unreliable at follow-through and make emotion-based decisions. Copyright 2018, All rights reserved, Dr. Miriam Reiss, [email protected]. www.ClearLawInstitute.com (703) 372-0550 6 Clear Law Institute, © 2018 Handling Difficult Personalities and Behaviors in the Workplace Handling the flyer: 1. Praise them for the value they bring. Use POR method. 2. Let them know how their behavior and mood swings affect you. 3. Stay calm and try to calm them down, if possible. 4. You may or may not be able to change their behaviors but you can focus on protecting your own interests. Copyright 2018, All rights reserved, Dr. Miriam Reiss, [email protected]. Handling Difficult Personalities and Behaviors in the Workplace 4. The Control Freak: nitpicky and critical of others who don’t do things their way; may have traits of OCD; often feels the need to control the outcome of almost everything and everyone around them, and may even step over appropriate boundaries and attempt to control situations that aren’t part of their own job duties; perfectionists; have impossibly high expectations of themselves and others. May be valued by your company for their high attention to detail. Copyright 2018, All rights reserved, Dr. Miriam Reiss, [email protected]. www.ClearLawInstitute.com (703) 372-0550 7 Clear Law Institute, © 2018 Handling Difficult Personalities and Behaviors in the Workplace Handling the control freak: 1. Praise their attention to detail and their contributions. 2. Provide detail(s) to them, which avoids ambiguity that may raise their anxiety levels. 3. Let go of control when the situation or task doesn’t matter as much to you and won’t have a negative effect on your own performance. 4. Don’t take it personally when their need for controlling is at its peak. Copyright 2018, All rights reserved, Dr. Miriam Reiss. [email protected]. Handling Difficult Personalities and Behaviors in the Workplace 5. The Victim: can be obvious to spot but is still difficult. Constant complainer, attempts to draw attention to their problems (or perceived problems) daily. Examples: may complain they’re not treated fairly and have more work than others. Or play victim when something goes wrong on a team project and claim they were left out of important conversation. One study found that workplace victims tend to be less independent than extroverts, and less stable and more conscientious than non-victims. (Coynea, Seignea & Randall, 2010). Copyright 2018, All rights reserved, Dr. Miriam Reiss, [email protected]. www.ClearLawInstitute.com (703) 372-0550 8 Clear Law Institute, © 2018 Handling Difficult Personalities and Behaviors in the Workplace Handling the office victim: 1. Try to point out evidence to the contrary when they start complaining about their bad situation. 2. Try to empathize with them when possible while not supporting their tendency toward helplessness. Can be tricky. Possible phrasing, “I’m sorry this happened to you and upset you. Is there anything you can do to change that situation?” 3. Maintain your own boundaries, don’t let them pull you into constant complaining about the same topics. Copyright 2018, All rights reserved, Dr. Miriam Reiss, [email protected]. Handling Difficult Personalities and Behaviors in the Workplace 6. The Quiet Type: not difficult but hard to read. May seem aloof, not socialize, hide in their cubicle or office, wear headphones. Copyright 2018, All rights reserved, Dr. Miriam Reiss, [email protected]. www.ClearLawInstitute.com (703) 372-0550 9 Clear Law Institute, © 2018 Handling Difficult Personalities and Behaviors in the Workplace Handling the quiet type: 1. Don’t push them to communicate or socialize. 2. Give them more space and time to respond to you and communicate their thoughts and feelings. 3. Acknowledge their place and value in the organization. 4. Take some time to get to know them and
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