Learner Objectives

Self-Regulation:  Attendees will learn:  Definition of self-regulation and examples in early The Role of Responsive childhood settings.  Overview of how self-regulation develops from birth Caregivers and ways to support the growth and maturation of self-regulation.  Why relationships are key instruments in the development of self-regulation. Tracy Schreifels, MS, LMFT  Specific calming strategies to teach children and Mental Health Specialist unique techniques recommended for: anger Reach Up Inc outbursts, anxiety, attention problems, mood 320-253-8110 [email protected] disorders, struggling with social skills, and children with sensory issues.

SELF-REGULATION = THERMOSTAT WHAT IS SELF-REGULATION?

 Person’s ability to provide control over his or Thermostat Self-regulation  her emotional responses to arousing Senses and measures  Evaluate what you hear, see, situations temperature smell, touch, and taste  Compares reading to  Compare to what you  Being able to do something because it is setting already know  Communicates to furnace needed  Communicates to motor and  Active, intentional process language systems  Includes being able to: (have to choose what temp  Requires intentional  Inhibit automatic responses to set it at) decisions (“I will not hit  Control one’s emotions  Device actively monitors Andrew”) and active the environmental temps processes (sit on one’s hands)  Control attention and cognitive processes  Monitors conditions to  Monitors conditions to  Plan and control behavior maintain optimal temp maintain optimal arousal for  Delay gratification given task

WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE? WHERE DOES SELF-REGULATION COME FROM?

 Child stops playing and begins  Genetics cleaning up when asked  Inherited traits and be changed (aren’t predestined)  Construction workers pour cement  Home & parenting practices outside the window but student can  Emotional support ignore it and focus on their work  Meaningful praise, affection, sensitivity to child’s  Child is teased but is able to ignore needs, encouragement instead of criticism, the comment and walk away coldness, and indifference  Cognitive Support

 In order to do this they must have  Intellectual stimulation from parents & resources regulated thoughts, emotions and (asking questions, reflection, reading books, behavior playing with toys)  Well-structured and consistent rules

1 HOW DOES THE BODY RESPOND? THE BRAIN (LION, LIZARD, LEARNING)

 Happens in the same part of the brain as reward and  Lizard (brain stem-not the smartest emotion processing (prefrontal cortex) Learning part)  Lion - midbrain – the body’s fire  Emotional responses happen on 3 levels alarm (the lion gets out of its cage  Bodily response (body’s reaction to the emotion) sometimes and get out of control - need to learn how to put the lion Increased blood pressure, increase heart rate, back in its cage) adrenaline rush, cortisol release  if you make a fist and put your thumb behind your fingers it acts  Behavioral (outward expression seen by person’s Lion like the lion for a kid metaphor actions) Lizard  Learning brain - prefrontral  Experiential (internal experience of an emotion) cortex - thinking spot - it goes on vacation when the fire alarm  Example: You almost get in a car accident goes off - needs time to get the alarm turned off and thinking brain to come back from vacation

DYSREGULATION IS LIKE THE BRAKES WHAT IS DYSREGULATION? LOCKING UP IN A CAR  Emotional responses that are out of one’s  3 things that unlock the brain’s brakes: control  Muscle movement  Volcano example  Breathing  Most children know they are supposed to “use  Rehydrating (water goes directly to their words” instead of fighting, but only the brain) children with self-regulation skills are actually able to use them.  Suggesting that a child goes for a walk to get a drink takes care of all 3!

WHAT DOES RESEARCH TELL US HOW IS REGULATION LEARNED? ABOUT SELF-REGULATION?  It isn’t present at birth therefore it must be  30% of children entering kindergarten learned lack the social and emotional skills to be  Stages: “ready” for school (up to 40% in low- ◦ Infant (requires parent to help calm) income families) ◦ Attachment figure acts as a template for emotion processing in the brain  Learning socially disruptive patterns of behavior can evolve into physical aggression ◦ Mutually influence the state of each other and bullying ◦ Toddlerhood (begin to use language to communicate needs and wants)  If self-regulatory behaviors aren’t ◦ May be able to respond and comply with directives introduced at a young age the brain areas ◦ Can use some distraction and help-seeking abilities may not develop to their full potential

2 HOW IS REGULATION LEARNED? THE SKILLS…LET’S BREAK THEM DOWN

◦ Preschool (reflective, begin to be able to do it on  Co-regulation (adult helps to regulate the their own) child) ◦ May require cues and support as they learn to  Usually infants require this type of calming calm themselves ◦ School-age (guided by sense of self and the  Children with attachment disorders may not environment) have had the opportunity to experience this

◦ Know to talk about what they are excited about type of regulation instead of jumping up and down  Modeling ◦ Adolescence (hormones re-enter and creates  Demonstrate the appropriate behavior upheaval)  Adult labels the feeling and calms ◦ By this age self-regulation is an internalized skill themselves and then helps the child calm down

BREAK THEM DOWN SOME MORE

 Using hints and cues  Adult points to pictures of calming strategies as a reminder to child  Reminders about holding hands in lap while giving directions to help focus attention WHAT CAN TEACHERS  Gradually withdraw adult support  Child begins to internalize the skill AND CAREGIVERS DO  Child can self-regulate in many situations TO HELP  Child may still need adult reminders and ? support as well as practice

BUILD RELATIONSHIPS WITH CHILDREN WHAT DO YOU NEED TO DO? Why is it important? • They are at the foundation of everything we do.  CALM YOURSELF FIRST • Children learn and develop in the context of  Teaching self-regulation to young children relationships. requires strong caregiver self-regulation • Children with the most challenging behaviors  Be aware of where children’s social-emotional especially need these relationships. development is at • Adults’ time and attention are very important to children.  Build meaningful relationships with the children • Parents and other colleagues are critical partners in  Without the relationship it will be very difficult building children’s social emotional competence. to help the child learn self-regulation skills • We should all work together to ensure children’s success and prevent challenging behavior.

3 RELATIONSHIP BUILDERS IF YOU MAKE A MISTAKE…

 Greet every child by name.  Give compliments liberally.

 Post children’s work around  Call a child after a difficult  How do you want someone to handle your the room. day and say, “I’m sorry we mistakes?  Call/tell a child’s parent in had a tough day today. I front of them to say what a know tomorrow is going to  A calm, warm correction and redirection of great day she is having or be better!” students are more likely to prevent further send home positive notes.  Find time to read to impulsive or challenging behaviors than a  Give hugs, high fives and individual children or a few rebuke that makes the student feel bad… thumbs up accomplishing children at a time.  Do you think they woke up this morning tasks.  Find out what a child’s wanting to make that mistake?  When a child misses school favorite book is and bring it tell him how much he was along on a visit or read it to missed. the whole class.  Acknowledge children’s  Play with children, follow efforts. their lead.

WHAT CAN CAREGIVERS DOTOHELP? WHAT CAN CAREGIVERS DOTOHELP?

 Provide stability and consistency  Talk about your own feelings  Clear rules, limit-setting, routines  Model for children how to express and cope with  Accept the child’s emotions and emotional big feelings responses  Remember you are a model  Emotional outbursts aren’t intentional ◦ How do you handle your own emotions?  Everyone is entitled to their emotions ◦ Children learn from what they see adults doing  Identify triggers and use them to teach problem around them solving  Encourage kids to “take a calm down break”  Help children be aware of the stages in the build  Praise their efforts to regulate their emotions up of tension  Aggressive and impulsive children receive more  Encourage children to talk about feelings negative feedback and less praise, even when they are behaving appropriately  Point them out in books, classroom, faces, etc

TEACHING BASIC EMOTIONAL EMOTION CHART STATES

 Label emotions as you  Feelings matching see them games  Start with the 4 basic  Children’s books emotions  Posters of feelings  Happy, sad, angry,  Photo emotion cards afraid

4 WHY SHOULD WE TAKE TIME TO TEACH IT? YOU DON’T NEED A CURRICULUM TO TEACH SELF-REGULATION  Children develop the foundational skills for self- regulation in the first 5 years of life  Sensitive teachers and staff were consistent,  It can be incorporated into ordinary activities positive, warm, and appropriately responsive to  Children need many opportunities to experience and children’s cues practice the skills with responsive adults and capable  Making the changes will help the children who peers have lower self-regulation abilities  Improved learning abilities and future reading and  Make environmental changes (adapt to meet math scores needs)  Poor self-regulation is associated with greater likelihood of expulsion from school programs  Teaching a child how to appropriately express themselves is more important than teaching them coping strategies

WHAT IS THIS TEAM DOING?

LET’SPRACTICEAFEW STRATEGIES…

 A time to “work together” to problem solve and think about how to do things differently  Not a time to shun and send the person (who needs the help and encouragement) away from caring adults

VIDEOS TO TEACH CALMING DOWN BREATHING EXERCISES ON CD  Self-regulation and SR Board  http://www.miapsych.com/products.php  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hYNNFUoBFA

 Young child version

 Move with Me  http://www.latimes.com/videogallery/77007981/Healt h/Try-This-Deep-down-wisdom-exercise

5 BREATHING FOLDER

STRATEGIES IN “KID” LANGUAGE

SEE THE LAST FEW PAGES OF YOUR HANDOUT

GLITTER BALL & GLITTER WAND ACTIVE CALMERS

 Calm your thoughts  Emotions are energy and things become  Some children need to physically release the clearer emotion in order to calm down  Important things  “Thank you for showing me what your body rise to the top needs. If you pull my arm like that it hurts. Would pulling help? Here you can pull both arms…”

ACTIVE & APPROPRIATE CALMING FIDGET VS. DISTRACTOR

 Allowing a child with busy hands to keep them busy allows for  Examples: increased focus  Trampoline  Using the object as an allowable fidget can increase focus and attention  Throw cotton balls  Letting the object become a distractor makes the tool less useful  Kick a mat  “Distractors” get taken away  Swing  Ideas of items to use:  Run  Squeeze toys/stress balls  Wagon filled with weight  Sensory bracelet  Push a wall/isometrics  Rubbery bracelets  Blanket wrap  Putty/play dough

6 PRACTICE THE STRATEGIES THROUGHOUT WAYS TO PRACTICE SELF-REGULATION FOR THE DAY YOUNGER CHILDREN  The Freeze Game  When is the best time to teach a child how  Red light – green light to swim?  Sleeping, Sleeping, All the Children are Sleeping. Children pretended to sleep when the circle leader sang, ◦ When they are calm or drowning? “Sleeping, sleeping, all the children are sleeping.” Once children were pretending to sleep, the circle leader said,  Have pictures of the strategies posted or on “And when they woke up… they were [monkeys]!” a ring  Drum Beats. Teachers used drum beats to represent different actions that children can do while sitting (e.g.,  Have a calm down area clapping or stomping) or while moving around the room (e.g., walking or dancing) ◦ This is not the same as a time out area!  Practice a strategy at calendar/group time (can be a helpers  Practice the strategies often so they know job)  Practice strategies while waiting in line or walking between how to use them when they are needed places

NVIRONMENTAL STRATEGIES E RULES  Predictable schedules and routines  Balance the activities (small vs large, active vs quiet…)  Use picture schedules and review them daily  Transitions  How many transitions does a child have to go through each day?  How do you prepare children for transitions?  Directions  Do you have their attention?  Make sure they are clear and given one step at a time  Rules  Take time to teach and re-teach the rules  Post them and review them

CHALLENGING BEHAVIOR COMMUNICATES

• Communicates a message when a child does not have language. • Used instead of language by a child who has CHALLENGING BEHAVIORS limited social skills or has learned that AND MENTAL HEALTH: challenging behavior will result in meeting his or STRATEGIES AND IDEAS her needs.

7 CHALLENGING BEHAVIOR WORKS OLD WAY NEW WAY • Children engage in challenging behavior because “it works” for them. •General intervention • Intervention matched • It serves 2 purposes: for all behavior to purpose of the • Child gains access to something or someone problems behavior • i.e., obtain/request •Intervention is reactive• Intervention is • Child avoids something or someone •Focus on behavior proactive • i.e., escape/protest reduction • Focus on teaching new •Quick Fix skills •Long term interventions

ANGRY KIDS STRATEGIES FOR ANGRY KIDS

 Anger is a response to pain.  Practice calming strategies throughout the day to reduce the overall feelings of anxiety/anger  It's like a blinking light on the  Listening for understanding is impossible when a dashboard of your car that tells child is “drunk” on anger you something is wrong under the hood  Never reason with an angry child. Instead say, “It sounds like you’re really mad. I want to listen and  Anger is a natural human emotion understand. I will listen when your voice is as calm as  A child who acts out may be mine.” expressing other emotions through  Once the child is able to discuss the anger, listen anger. without reasoning.  Sometimes kids have a good reason to be angry…

SENSORY ACTIVITIES TO RELEASE ANGER STRATEGIES FOR ANGRY KIDS  Repetitive motion: move energy and thoughts away from angry feelings.  Role play (pretend being mad and calming down)  Swinging or a rocking chair  Allow them time to talk and just listen to them  Repetitive tactile experiences  Boys usually talk more if they are engaged in  Pouring water, squeezing play dough or painting physical activity  Try sitting down to model one of these activities with some  Try to avoid telling the child why he/she should of the materials when you notice your child becoming not be angry. angry.  Physical release  Use physical and sensory activities to help release the anger  Brisk walk, run, jump rope, trampoline  Get the air moving:  Blowing bubbles or blowing up balloons  Take the time to smell pleasant, relaxing fragrances, (peppermint or lavender)

8 WAYS TO SUPPORT ANXIOUS KIDS CHILDREN WITH ANXIETY

 Teach them what their body looks or feels like when  We all need a little anxiety… it is anxious.  Too much though and we get kids who are wound  Teach them the self-regulation and breathing up, distracted, have short attention spans, strategies impulsive, asks many questions, shuts down…  Seat them away from peers who are loud or  The brain gets high-jacked and can no longer misbehave learn when it is anxious  Signal the class before directions are given (flashing the lights, clasping hands, etc.), as well as use visual  Anxiety can be contagious! cues  Escape Option/Calm Down Pass: If the child becomes overwhelmed, there should be a safe place where he/she can go until nerves have calmed down.

WAYS TO HELP ANXIOUS KIDS CHILDREN WITH ATTENTION PROBLEMS  Muscle relaxation  Deep breathing exercises  Often are looking around  Engage the 5 senses to pull them back into the present  Easily distracted  Allow them to have “anxiety appointments”  It’s not that they can’t pay attention… they may  Encourage them to “try acting as if they are not…” not be able to identify what they need to pay the  Help them identify the feeling and reason most attention to  Do you think your stomach ache is really because you  Imagine what it is like for these kids… are anxious about…?  It can often be anxiety that is making it hard for  Help them think of a way to calm down them to focus  Give options  Use picture cards or a reminder board of calm down options

UPPORTING CHILDREN WITH ATTENTION S CHILDREN WITH MOOD DISORDERS PROBLEMS

 Strip the environment (only display the “rules” on the wall)  The brain and hormones in the body regulate  Provide fidgets emotions  Rubber bands across chair legs (allows for silent extra  When they aren’t working properly it gets movement) difficult to stay in control of your feelings  Peer mentors (equal relationship)  Engage their brain instead of redirecting them all the time (use cues)  The Visual Box (they need to SEE their boundaries)  Fabric for focus (soothes the Amygdala and reconnects the brain hemispheres)  Soft side of Velcro, rough side of Velcro, corduroy and silk or satin

9 SUPPORTING CHILDREN WITH MOOD CHILDREN THAT STRUGGLE WITH SOCIAL DISORDERS SKILLS

 Invite them to live in THIS moment (instead of  Social skills are defined as: the child's knowledge of, living in the past, present and future at once) and ability to use, a variety of social behaviors that are appropriate to a given interpersonal situation and  Mindfulness activities that are pleasing to others in each situation  Dream journal (what would you like to dream  A child's social competence depends upon a number of about tonight) factors including the child's social skills, social  Practice labeling the emotions they are feeling, awareness, and self-confidence discuss how to cope or handle the feelings  May not be able to “read” social situations like their peers  Sensory activities help to “pull them back” into the present moment  Usually have difficulty naming and identifying emotions in themselves and others

SUPPORTING CHILDREN WITH SOCIAL SUPPORTING CHILDREN WITH SOCIAL SKILLS CHALLENGES SKILLS CHALLENGES

 Most of us learn to understand emotion in the  Be aware of the sensory issues context of a social interaction  Connect how the body feels with what makes it feel  We tend to process our emotions in a social better context throughout our lives  Show them what to do and then do it with them   Temporarily lowering expectations to a previous Break interactions down as they happen to process level of success will increase emotional regulation responses together and build positive experiences  Utilize stories, games, and videos to teach appropriate emotional expression  Use social stories to teach expectations in a  Be very concrete concrete manner

CHILDREN WITH SENSORY ISSUES SENSORY DIET IDEAS

 Sensory issues can come up in multiple ways, and in  Walking  Get in touch with nature many children  Brushing  Dance  Children can be sensory seeking or sensory avoidant  Listening to calming  Swing  Sensory Processing Disorder is a neurological disorder music  Spin that is like a virtual traffic jam in the brain.  Fidgeting with objects  Push and pull  We have 7 senses: Touch, Taste, Smell, Hearing, Sight,  Desk accommodations  Carry weight Vestibular (where you are in space) and Proprioception  band across the legs,  Stretching (sensations from joints, muscles and connective tissues) fabric under desk,  Playground and gym Inflatable cushion,  There’s a big difference between “bad behavior” and opportunities “sensory overload.” sitting on an exercise ball  All children need  Every child’s sensory issues are unique. opportunities to move  Objects for chewing before, during, and  Push-ups and jumping after school jacks

10 RECOMMENDED WEBSITES

 Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning (CASEL)  In Schools then Tools for Families (Parent Packet)  TACSEI QUESTIONS OR  www.challengingbehavior.org COMMENTS  CSFEL  csefel.vanderbilt.edu/  Lifeskills4kids.com.au (free ebook)  Breathing CD  www.miapsych.com

WEBSITES FOR SENSORY ISSUES WEBSITES FOR “PRE-MADE” SOCIAL  Sensory Smarts STORIES  http://sensorysmarts.com/working_with_schools.html  Sensory Processing Disorder Foundation  PBIS World  http://www.spdfoundation.net/about-sensory-processing-  http://www.pbisworld.com/tier-2/social-stories/ disorder.html  The Watson Institute  http://www.thewatsoninstitute.org/teacher- WEBSITE RESOURCES FOR ANGER resources2.jsp?pageId=2161392240601226415747290  Angry Birds Lesson  Child Behavior Guide  http://www.child-behavior-guide.com/social-stories.html  http://thehometeacher.blogspot.com/2012/02/dont-be-angry-bird-  CSEFEL/TACSEI lessons-on-anger.html  http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/resources/strategies.html  50 Activities/Lessons for Anger  The Gray Center  http://kimscounselingcorner.com/2012/09/16/50-activities-and-games-  http://www.thegraycenter.org/ dealing-with-anger/  Kansas ASD  http://www.kansasasd.com/socialnarratives.php  Region 2 Digital Lending Library  http://www.region2library.org/socialstories.htm

WEBSITES FOR SOCIAL STORIES VIDEO & MEDIA LINKS

 PBIS World: http://www.pbisworld.com/tier-2/social-  Breath Rudiment (Breathing exercise) stories/  http://www.miapsych.com/products.php  The Watson Institute:  By Evan Scott Lainhart, available on itunes for $0.99  http://www.thewatsoninstitute.org/teacher-  Marshmallow Test: resources2.jsp?pageId=2161392240601226415747290 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QX_oy9614HQ  Child Behavior Guide: http://www.child-behavior-  Self-regulation and SR Board: guide.com/social-stories.html  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hYNNFUoBFA  CSEFEL/TACSEI:  Move with Me http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/resources/strategies.html  http://www.latimes.com/videogallery/77007981/Health/  The Gray Center: http://www.thegraycenter.org/ Try-This-Deep-down-wisdom-exercise  Kansas ASD:  3B’s Therapy: www.3bstherapy.com http://www.kansasasd.com/socialnarratives.php  Region 2 Digital Lending Library: http://www.region2library.org/socialstories.htm

11 YOU TUBE CALMING VIDEOS RESOURCES:

 Cookie Monster & Calming:  Allen, J. & Klein, R. (1996). Ready, Set, RELAX: A research based program of relaxation, learning, and self esteem for http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlNqAzm5agA children. Watertown, WI: Inner Coaching.  Second Step Calm Down for Older Kids  Bodrova, E., & Leong, D. (2008, March). Developing self- regulation in kindergarten: can we keep all the crickets in the  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIiZHH92DL0 basket? Young Children, NAEYC.  Feelings Song:  Bradley, R., Atkinson, M., Tomasino, D., Rees, R. (2009). Facilitating emotional self-regulation in preschool children. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsISd1AMNYU Institute of HeartMath. Boulder Creek, CA.  Children’s Meditation Song:  Doucette, S. (2011, May). Why does deep breathing calm you down? Livestrong.com  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVM9JKbIIqU  Florez, I. (2011, July). Developing young children’s self-  Calm the Amygdala: regulation through everyday experiences. Young Children. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zs559guIGDo NAEYC.  Hopper, D. (2004, Nov). Life skills 4 kids: Relaxation skills 4  Belly Breathe: kids. Life Skills 4 kids. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mZbzDOpylA

RESOURCES:

 Scanlon, C. (2010). Emotion regulation in children: A guide for teachers. University of Pittsburg. www.sbbh.pitt.edu  Stepp, G. (2011). Teaching children the art of self-control. Vision.org.  Webster-Stratton, C. Helping children learn to regulate their emotions. University of Washington.  Wilke-Deaton, K (2013). Over 75 quick techniques for children with emotional and behavior problems. CMI Education Institute.  Willingham, D. (2011). Can teachers increase students’ self-control? American Educator. Summer, 22-27.

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What Caregivers Do to Help their Students Learn Self-Regulation

• Provide stability and consistency • Talk about your own feelings - Clear rules, limit-setti ng - Model for children how to express - Predictable routi nes and cope with big feelings

• Accept the child’s emoti ons and • Remember you are a model emoti onal responses - How do you handle your own - Emoti onal outbursts aren’t emoti ons? intenti onal - Children learn from what they see - Everyone is enti tled to their adults doing around them emoti ons - CALMCALM YOURSELF FIRST

• Identi fy triggers and use them to teach problem solving

• Take ti me to teach the key emoti onal and social competencies - Recognize and understand basic emoti onal states - Self-regulati on of emoti ons - Improve peer relati ons - Skills for developing problem- solving

• Encourage children to talk about feelings • Help children be aware of the - Don’t give directi ves (don’t tell stages in the build up of tension them how to feel about something) - Off er calm down breaks or support to help diff use • Praise the child’s eff orts to the situati on regulate their emoti ons - Aggressive and impulsive children • Use ti me out for inappropriate receive more negati ve feedback emoti onal angry outbursts and less praise, even when they are behaving appropriately

Resource provided by Tracy Schreifels MS, LMFT. Reach-Up Incorporated.