The American University in Cairo School of Global Affairs and Public Policy Lacking a Self(ie): “Apps’ of Desire in Virtual Cairo A Thesis Submitted to The Cynthia Nelson Institute for Gender and Women’s Studies in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Master of Arts/Science in Gender and Women’s Studies in the Middle East and North Africa by Fernando Revelo La Rotta Under the supervision of Dr. Martina Rieker August 2016 ii TABLE OF CONTENTS Acknowledgements………………………………………………………………………...……iv Preface Warning: An Origin Story……………………………………………………………...…...1 Chapter I The Horror of Lacanian Psychoanalysis: I Desire Therefore I Exist.………………………………………………..…….13 Chapter II Looking at (My)self through the Front-facing Camera: Is this Really Me?.……………………………………………………..………..27 Selfies Everywhere………………………………………………………………32 Theorizing from the Field………………………………………………………..38 The Subject of Axioms….…………………………………………………...…..42 Can the Ethnic Take a Selfie?................................................................................49 Chapter III Cyberspace and Languages of Subjectivation, Or the Production of the Virtually Human.…………………………………..56 Logging On: Writing Myself in Cyberspace…………………………………….57 Virtualization: Language and the Symbolic Order in Cyberspace………………68 Perverts and Hackers: Negotiating the Symbolic Order Online…………………73 Location Technologies and Cyberspace: Creating Virtual Cairo……………..…80 Chapter IV “Welcome to the Market” “Apps” of Desire, Headless Homos, and Virtual Sociality...…………………88 “Welcome to the Market”………………………………………………………..93 Warranting Desire and Anxiety: Games of Decapitation and Surveillance……..98 We Desire Therefore We Are Social: Potential, Desire, and Sociality………...107 Conclusion Movement Towards An End.…………………………………………..……..117 Coda I: Crossing the Tracks and Going Offline……………………….…….…118 Coda II: The Power of Horror or the Re-/Ab-jected Selfie………………….…122 References.……………………………………………………………………………………..128 iii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS In a project that is, above all, about the role of desire and sociality in the intersubjective constitution of the self, the space for acknowledging the diverse social connections that have made this project possible seems laden with significance. I am something because we all are something. Different desires bring us together and string together networks of friendships, mentorships, support, entertainment, company, pleasures, tears, sweat, hardship, and many other affective and social relationships. Therefore, I begin by thanking the forces and desires that bring us all together. I am grateful for all the people that I have met along my life trajectory that have helped me get to where I am today. Living and writing a master’s thesis in Cairo is not an easy feat. In a city where expecting the unexpected is part of daily life, I am blessed to have been able to establish a family in Cairo out of the orphaned children of normal life expectations. From the twelfth floor of a building in Sayyida Zeinab, we have symbolically and physically gathered every Tuesday night to celebrate the pleasures and joys of life with RuPaul and drag queens as our totem that holds the group together. Though not everyone lives in Cairo anymore, the spirit of our deviant family lives on through the virtual community of “RuPaul’s Crack” where I can always find a reason to smile no matter how dark the day might seem. Many people have passed through our Tuesday night ritual, and not everyone has made the cut. A man needs his drag queen-loving sisters; thanks to Becky Payne who always had the right (and delicious, edible) form of encouragement, Dimitra Papavasiliou whose picture accompanied me in the final stages of writing, the fabulously strong and supportive TBC Elizabeth Carlberg, Julia Foley who proofread in an extremely timely fashion several portions of this project, Kaylan Geiger whose food gave me life while writing, Kelly Stephens who continues to deal with my insanity despite no longer having to live with me, iv Mohanad Elsangary who always had a shisha ready when I needed it, my Egyptian mother Nihal Saad Zaghloul, Nicolien Kegels whose adult realness I wish to achieve some day, Pamela Groder whose love for little things is inspirational, Stefanie Felsberger who without our crazy and inappropriate bus conversations from AUC this project would not exist, Stephanie Luescher, and RuPaul the Cat. Special thanks also go to Emad Karim who provided me with a space for the past month where I could write in peace and without interruption. In the words of Alaska Thunderfuck, “Your make is terrible, but I love you [all] anyway.” The influence of the commune that I had at Duke University also has not ceased. We continue to dream of the day where we can all recreate the emotional and intellectual support that we created for ourselves at Duke. This group of people has also always supported me in my academic endeavors. Lauren Zalla gave me the initial funds that got me to Cairo. Neha Sharma continues to be an intellectual inspiration through her incredible academic perspective and critique. Sunhay You constantly fills my life with joy and support. Felicia Arriaga’s constant involvement in activism and politics is something that one day I hope to achieve. Among them are also Bianca Tyler, Carmen Lopez, Sabrina Rubakovic, Tomek Brzezinski, and Devin LaFrance. At the American University in Cairo, I have benefited from the intellectual companionship, friendship, and comradery of many amazing classmates. We labored in and out of the classroom for the past two years to fine tune and improve our ideas together. A special note of appreciation goes out to Amal Abdrabo, Habiba Alwady, Jihad Abaza, Mina Ibrahim, and Nahla Omarah. It was also through AUC that I met Doaa Kaddah who has become an incredibly important person in my life. She defies the neat social categories that I have attempted to textually create through paragraphs. Doaa has been someone that I can always count for v emotional and intellectual support. Thank you for being a shoulder that I can cry on and for allowing me to vent my frustrations with my work, life, and academic endeavors. I could not have finished without you, and I hope that life continues to keep us together as we delve deeper into our academic and life journeys. My family at St. Andrew’s Refugee Services has also provided me with unwavering support. They, more than anyone, endured the effects of writing on my daily life. No matter how crazy my moods grew, they continued to support me. Special thanks go to Amany Ahmed who has believed in me since the day I started working as a teacher at St. Andrew’s. StARS would not be the place that it is today without your hard work and kindness. You are the glue that holds everything together. Special thanks also go to Ahmed Digol, Aisha El Geily, Alfadel Mohamed, Asmaa Fofana, Azhal Alsandook, Amin Mohamed, Eid Mohamed, Fadega Afa, Faten Yagoub, Hani Mohamed, Justin Kolb, Kamel Ibrahim, Khaled Mohamed, Kirsten Fryer, Mariam Eskander (who supported me, encouraged me, and fed me at the final stages of this project), Merhawi Teweldebrhan, Mohamed Babiker, Mohamed Fadolelmoula, Nagwa Koko, Opio Akan, Osama Gassim, Philipos Yemane, Pius Karanja, Reimaz Salim, Sara Beshr, and Sawsan Koko. My students at St. Andrew’s have also been a source of great inspiration. Their potential is incredible and understated. They are the reason that I wake up every morning. They motivate me to fight for a better world where their potential could be recognized. Though there are times that you all drive me crazy, I consider each and everyone one of you as my siblings. Your intellectual curiosity is astounding. The perspective from which you all explore ideas, issues and themes is unique and incomparable. They have pushed my intellectual limits and together we have grown. I will continue to support you all from wherever I am. I will carry your smiles and loving hearts wherever I go. vi This project would have also not been possible without the encouragement and support of current and past academic mentors and friends. Though I have not seen Antonio Viego after my graduation from Duke University, he has continued to be an incredible academic resource and inspiration. Your classes at Duke opened up my mind to many different ways of thinking. Even after my time at Duke, your ideas have continued to motivate me to write and learn. Reading your book in Cairo taught me the power and possibilities embedded within Lacanian psychoanalysis. Our conversations and emails have given me inspiration, and I have made you famous and well known in Cairo. I have finally understood why Mi Gente should have been name Otra Gente. Comandante Diane Nelson has also played a crucial role in my academic path. Even from Cairo, I continue to be your loyal disciple. Your words and teachings have inspired me not only to write this project, but to continue to find a moral compass in my life and work. My memories of our time together at Duke continue to push me forward as well as your courage for challenging the system. You taught me to take risks, and made me into the academic and person and I am today. Te sigo hasta la victoria, and, yes, the revolution will never be funded. This project would not have been possible without the enduring support of Ian Morrison who I spent many hours for a whole semester trying to establish a virtual connection through Skype in order to discuss most of the ideas that permeate throughout this work. Without your support into the exploration of Lacan, a territory that was unknown to both of us, I think I might have never found a way out and might have drowned in psychoanalytic yackety yack. Thank you for always being there ready to help me in any way that you could even if it was to simply hear my frustrations at the writing process.