Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology Rose-Hulman Scholar

The Rose Thorn Archive Student Newspaper

Winter 2-10-2020

Volume 55, Issue 15 - Monday, February 10, 2020

Rose Thorn Staff Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, [email protected]

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Recommended Citation Rose Thorn Staff, "Volume 55, Issue 15 - Monday, February 10, 2020" (2020). The Rose Thorn Archive. 1234. https://scholar.rose-hulman.edu/rosethorn/1234

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This Book is brought to you for free and open access by the Student Newspaper at Rose-Hulman Scholar. It has been accepted for inclusion in The Rose Thorn Archive by an authorized administrator of Rose-Hulman Scholar. For more information, please contact [email protected]. MONDAY, FEB 10, 2020 | VOLUME 55 | ISSUE 15

New Course Added: Mixology The Exciting “Drink and Think” Event for Students

AJ Henderson and French 75. Alia presented Staff Writer the main tricks to mixing each drink, some history or fast facts about them, and how to This past Saturday, make the drinks without alco- February 8th, the Senior Class hol too. Then students could Gift Committee held their each make two cocktails of mixology class in the Kahn their own. The ingredients for room. Admission cost $10 for each drink were supplied by those making mocktails and the Senior Class Gift Commit- $15 for those over twenty-one tee (with alcohol obviously making real cocktails. This only to those who were over class was taught by Alia twenty-one). Shuck from the Communica- tion and Marketing offices at The event seemed to be Rose-Hulman. A past bartend- quite the hit among those who er, she instructed participants came, with a good combina- on how to mix five common tion of students from all Students socializing at the recent mixology class, presented by the Senior Class drinks. years. Even some alumni of Gift Committee. the school came too. I know I Image Courtesy of AJ Henderson The drinks demonstrat- enjoyed myself and got to see ed were the Shirley Temple quite a few floormates from cially enjoyed how fun Alia I hope they bring this event (Dirty Temple), Tequila sun- freshman year that I hadn’t made the event with the jokes back for next year. rise, Mojito, Moscow mule, spoken to in a while. I espe- and stories she told during mixing. Being such a success,

Page 3: Confusion at Iowa Caucuses Page 4: Bojack Horseman Finale You decide what’s Page 5: How To: Sustainable Living Page 6: Unpopular Opinions newsworthy. Page 7: Sports! Tuesdays at 5:00pm in O259

The Rose Parking Hall of Shame

Publicly Calling Out Bad Parking Jobs on Campus

William Kemp extremely narrow, Percopo rare- ly new blog. However, it still has The Lawyer’s Committee for Editor-in-Chief ly has spots in the far corner of over 500 followers, equivalent to Civil Rights Social Media Community the parking lot, and the BIC/KIC more than a quarter of students at Guidelines: Things You Should Know ac- This past week I was fol- lot… good luck. This blog has Rose. I have no doubts that this blog tually prohibits posting unblurred lowed by a mysterious Instagram accumulated the creative (and will only gain more attention expo- license plates. “The names of any in- account, “Rose Parking Hall of sometimes plain dumb) ways nentially as time goes on. Therefore, I dividuals, and/or other information Shame.” Claiming to be “purely Rose’s students, faculty, and want to offer a friendly warning. Sev- that could allow anyone to identify satirical” I scrolled through their staff have tried getting around eral of the posts do not blur license the individual(s), such as an address, posts and found it very amusing. this poor parking predicament. plate numbers, and while this isn’t phone number, social insurance It’s common knowledge at this illegal, I doubt everyone who has number, license plate number, point that parking on campus is With its first post on De- viewed this blog is thrilled. hometown, school, etc., unless those atrocious. Speed lot’s spots are cember 11th, 2019, it still is a relative- individuals have expressly consented to such use.” While this blog doesn’t have a name attached to it, I still highly doubt all of the posts had the consent of the vehicle owner. Addi- tionally, one in particular posted on January 15th has comments with the full name of the owner of the vehicle in question. Again, I do not know if they gave permission to post, but it would be a wise idea to take some protective measures in case of legal action.

Censoring the plates and ensuring individuals cannot be identified will not take away from the comedic nature of the blog, it is just helpful advice. In the end, the memes are very fun- ny, and (with enough followers) “Rose Parking Hall of Shame” (left) A post with caption “close enough for Rose work”. (right) A meme posted on the growing Instagram page. may actually help improve the Images Courtesy of @roseparkinghallofshame parking conundrum at Rose. 2

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ISSUES of The Rose Thorn are published on the second through Our Mission Statement: ninth Mondays of each academic quarter We are Rose-Hulman’s independent student newspaper. We keep the Rose WEEKLY MEETINGS occur at 5:00 p.m. on the first through ninth -Hulman community informed by providing an accurate and dependable Tuesdays of each academic quarter. All members of the Rose - source for news and information. Hulman community are welcome to attend. SUBMISSION of articles, photographs, art, and letters to the editor William Kemp | Editor-in-Chief Caleigh Kintner | Sports Editor is encouraged. Submission may be made by email to thorn@rose- hulman.edu or in person to Percopo room 031. The submission dead- William Kemp | Business Manager Matthew Supp | Flipside Editor line is 5:00 p.m. Friday. Colin Beach | Rose News Editor Jared Gibson | Staff Writer THE RIGHTS to accept submissions or changes made after the Jonathan Kawauchi | World News Editor Andrew Henderson | Staff Writer deadline, to edit submissions in so far as the original intent of the Aidan Moulder | Entertainment Editor Dara Nafiu | Staff Writer submission remains unaltered, and to reject submissions deemed inappropriate for print are reserved by the editors. Alyssa Russell | Lifestyle Editor Dalal Bima | Staff Writer THE VIEWS EXPRESSED herein are those of their respective au- Aidan Moulder | Opinions Editor Dr. Thomas Adams | Faculty Advisor thors and with the exception of the Staff View do not necessarily represent the views of the staff or the Rose-Hulman community. The Pen is mightier than the sword Tuesdays 5:00p O259. PAGE THREE | VOLUME 55 | ISSUE 15 Wait. So, Who Won Iowa?

Jared Gibson When chairpersons resorted to are more complicated. Considering the Staff Writer calling in the final results, they strug- close race between the top two candi- gled to get through due to the low num- dates, we may never know who official- Every election cycle, the results of ber of operators receiving calls. Adding ly won Iowa. By the time the IDP re- the Iowa Caucus are one of the most to the confusion, errors in reporting ported 100% of the precinct results last highly anticipated events in politics. prevented the IDP from releasing accu- Saturday (February 8), Pete Buttigieg Especially the Democratic Caucuses, rate results. In some cases, the IDP re- led the candidates with 26.2% of the w h i c h --according to da- ported results that did not match with state delegate equivalents, while Bernie ta.desmoinesregister.com--have picked the precinct’s reports about their own Sanders had 26.1%, amounting to a tie the Democratic nominee every time The New York Times shows Buttigieg caucus. In other cases, the reports by when errors are taken into account. since 1972. In other words, the Demo- leading in the most counties out of any precincts showed obvious inconsisten- Next, was Elizabeth Warren with 18% cratic presidential candidate who wins candidate, but his lead in many areas is cies. For example, the number of final and Joe Biden with 15.8%. not that large, resulting in a close race Iowa, typically wins the Democratic between Sanders and himself. alignment votes were greater than that Although the results of the Iowa nomination. It gives the top candidates Figure courtesy of nytimes.com of the first alignment votes, suggesting Caucus are controversial, they do seem momentum. After Iowa, the field of can- realignment phase. Additionally, no that more voters entered the caucus to have a downsizing effect on the field. didates is usually pared down; it be- new voters are allowed to participate in after the first alignment votes were rec- During the New Hampshire Democratic comes evident who are the real con- the caucus after the first alignment orded, which is prohibited by the rules debate last Friday, the candidates with tenders for the Democratic nomination. votes. At the end of the night, candi- of the Iowa Caucus. In some precincts, the most speaking time were Bernie With this cycle’s large candidate field, dates are awarded a number of state the number of delegates awarded ex- Sanders (20 minutes), Joe Biden (19.5 the 2020 Democratic Iowa Caucus was delegate equivalents (S.D.E’s) based on ceeded the amount of delegates that the minutes), and Pete Buttigieg (18 extremely important. And yet, at the the number of votes they have received. precinct was capable of allocating. minutes). The next candidates with the time of writing, it’s hard to say that any The first alignment votes, final align- Sometimes candidates received more most speaking time were Elizabeth candidate has emerged truly victorious. ment votes, and number of S.D.E’s S.D.E’s than their opponents, despite Warren and Amy Klobuchar (15 Last Monday, Iowans from all over awarded are reported by each precinct’s receiving less votes. minutes), a significant drop from the the state met in their precincts to de- chair to the Iowa Democratic Party Reporting issues are inevitable in other candidates’ time. With the New cide how many delegates each candi- (IDP). The number of S.D.E’s that each any election, and while some of the mis- Hampshire Primary tomorrow, the field date should be awarded. Each precinct candidate has determines the number of takes made in the 2020 Iowa Democrat- might be narrowed even further. only has a certain amount of delegates actual delegates they receive. ic Caucus can be easily corrected, others that it can award to each candidate, but This year, the reporting process whoever has the most at the end of the was supposed to be facilitated by a night “wins” Iowa. This time, however, smartphone app, something that was the Iowa Democratic Party could not done during the 2016 Iowa Caucuses. report results by monday night because According to vox.com, however, the of reporting issues. developers of the 2020 app lacked three At the start of each precinct’s cau- important resources that the 2016 de- cus, “caucus goers” are asked to specify velopers had: time, experience, and their preferred candidate in what is funds. As a result, the company in called “first alignment” votes. These charge of the application’s development, votes are tallied and presidential candi- Shadow, released a poorly tested app dates who fail to gain 15% or more of that many precinct chairs found hard to the votes, lose the chance to win any even download. Not only was the app delegates from that precinct. Then, the not released to Apple and Google’s app voters whose first alignment votes were stores, which forced the precinct chair- for candidates below this threshold are persons to “sideload” it through an al- given a chance to vote again, but this ternative source, but the company also time it must be for candidates with did not train precinct chairs in how to more than 15% of the total votes. This is use the application. For these reasons, The New York Times shows results of 99% of Iowa precincts. Pete Buttigieg called the “final alignment.” Notably, many found issues with using the app, and Bernie Sanders tie, while Elizabeth Warren and Joe Biden come in third candidates with more than 15% of the struggling to report the votes accurate- and fourth. total votes cannot lose voters in this ly. Image courtesy of nytimes.com Coronavirus Update

Colin Beach virus is still unknown, analysis of its to determine its true effectiveness. Rose News Editor composition points toward bats as Vaccine development is also under- the original host. And though hu- way, and though it is too early to tell Following the World Health mans are the primary target of the how helpful these treatments will be, Organization’s (WHO) declaration coronavirus, recent research shows the right steps are being taken to of a global health emergency, the that pangolins are a possible inter- contain and prevent this disease. coronavirus threat continues to be a mediate and can transfer the virus as Of course, updates on corona- top focus for numerous countries. well. Pangolins are protected by law virus are not all good news. Dr. Li Originating in Wuhan, China, the and trade bans, but illegal poaching Wenliang, one of the first Chinese virus has not stopped spreading de- continues, and their meat and scales doctors to warn about the virus, re- Medical workers transferring a patient spite restrictive actions, with the are still widely used. Some scientists cently died from infection. to one of the temporary hospitals in number of people infected world- believe that, since the virus looks to Wenliang’s concerns were initially Wuhan, China. wide almost at 40,000. As of Febru- have started in an animal “wet mar- silenced back in December, angering Courtesy of northcountrypublicradio.org ary 9th, this coronavirus (labelled ket,” pangolins could have aided in many citizens who believe that such 2019nCoV) has been responsible for spreading the infection. Highly visit- awareness early on would have will take for full containment and 814 deaths and with more likely to ed markets in Wuhan have since greatly helped the process. Addition- recovery, but there is clear progress come, surpassing the SARS virus been shut down. ally, an American citizen staying in being made. China has already set up outbreak of 2002. The coronavirus As patients continue to recover Wuhan has also died. The few cases two temporary hospitals specifically may soon reach pandemic levels, and and be released from hospitals, ad- here in the United States remain un- for those infected, and the WHO containment strategies are still un- vancements in treatment have been der control, but this unfortunate hopes to soon send additional aid. As certain. However, as new cases are made as well. The antiviral drug passing will surely add to the tension more information comes to light, so discovered, so are updates leading to remdesivir has shown promising re- of the situation. does more hope that the dangers of developments in treatment and sults against the coronavirus in la- The coronavirus continues to be this virus will fade. awareness. boratory cultured cells. The drug is a serious threat to much of the mod- Though the exact origin of the now progressing into clinical trials ern world. It is unsure how long it

You decide what’s newsworthy. Tuesdays at 5:00pm in O259 PAGE FOUR | VOLUME 55 | ISSUE 15 The Resurrection of

A Story of How the Famous Actor has come Full-Circle

Graham Hepworth In 2012, he did, and he failed. He failed manager lifestyle. I think by the end of this movie, he was sick Guest Writer incredibly badly. He managed to lose at least Hilarity ensues, and by hilarity, I mean of it. 13 million with a film that starred some of the most mean-spirited, low brow, crowd- The only person who seems concerned Adam Sandler has sculpted himself an the biggest names in Hollywood at the time, pleasing, anti-culture, anti-rich, moderately that Donny was raped is an ugly woman, unprecedented resurrection in Hollywood along with some nationally beloved favor- anti-gay, sexist, surprisingly not racist, stu- who is made even uglier by makeup, and the over the past five years. Starting with a leg- ites: Andy Samberg, Leighton Meester, Su- pidest s*** I’ve ever seen. movie uses every emotional marker in cine- endary deal to produce 4 films with san Sarandon, Peggy Stewart, Tony Orlan- Who’s Donny’s old friend that he re- ma to make her look like one of the bad practically unlimited creative control, some- do, James Caan, , my personal connects with in one of the movie’s sub- guys. thing unprecedented for the post-Marvel hero , and even Koji Kataoka plots? . All of the rich people become one- world, where producers of large-scale fran- (who is better than this). He got all these What does Donny say when he comes dimensional forces of evil, all the others be- chises and ones assigned by distribution acclaimed0 actors and comedians and story- into a room? “WAZZZUUUUPPPP!” come one-dimensional forces of Beavis and companies have more and more control over tellers together for a film called That’s My Boy, How do we have a military man be Butthead humor. Susan Sarandon plays an the finished product (see: Rogue One and which promised to take Adam Sandler’s kind of the bad guy? Turns out he’s an inter- older version of her daughter. Solo). juvenile humor and use it as a satirical mir- pretive dancer. He didn’t even initiate his The movie is just so aggressively bad Netflix, while offering more creative ror to society. own sexual abuse either, it was Todd Peter- that it transcends its normal desire to make control, had signed a contract with a mod- That’s My Boy establishes itself by having son‘s fiancée, Jamie, who molested her own a profit and becomes an artistic statement ern Hollywood Huey Long, a mini benevo- Adam Sandler’s character, Donny, get raped younger brother, which makes him the on the way Adam Sandler had to make mov- lent dictator who had so much control over on screen as a child by Eva Amurri, and eve- p****! ies to be successful. He made this movie his movies that he managed to overpower rybody thinks its f***ing awesome. Why? This movie thinks the funniest thing on right after his passion project, , the notoriously unshakable Genndy Tarta- Cause she’s hot, of course! earth is a man getting hit on the head with a bombed, and his disappointment at Funny kovsky for the two sequels to the Hotel I want those two sentences to meld in bottle, it happens three times and each one People’s failure is well known. Transylvania films, for better or for worse. your mind. I want you to spend the next is callback to the last one. Could it be possible that Sandler creat- Sandler, in the past, had started using minute thinking about those two sentences All the rich people and their friends are ed a movie that managed to satirize every his unbreakable star power to churn out and their consequences, and what it was assholes, and each and every one turns out other movie he’s ever made? He knows how profitable vacations such as Grown-Ups, like to read them. Are you done? Alright. to be some kind of villain. Even Todd Peter- to make the audience tick, and so he takes Grown-Ups 2, Blended, Jack and Jill, and Just Go Along with child sex abuse, the movie son‘s boss, who treats him and loves him like every trick in the book he’s used for years in a son, ends up only treating him that way With It. These films served a unique and inno- draws its jokes from incest, obese strippers, his PG-13 comedies and exaggerates and and promoting him because he was Han- vative purpose: to use every writing and alcoholism, violent religious figures, gay exploits it until it's sick and twisted, just to Solo’s fiancée. directing trick in the book to engineer a panic, lowest form of slapstick, and a wom- see if America ate it all up. successful film which allowed Sandler to write off and profit off of the vacations he was taking in destinations like Hawaii, South Africa, a Royal Caribbean Cruise Line, and my home, Essex County, Massa- chusetts. (Go Sox!!!). Sandler’s deal with Netflix represented an incredible amount of good faith into the man’s then waning popularity, as they were essentially committing to funding Sandler’s ridiculous vacations in the hope that the crap he makes on the side will be profitable. These films made Sandler the fourth- highest paid man in Hollywood in 2017, behind Vin Diesel, and surprisingly involved much less vacationing than he had done in the past, with The Ridiculous 6’s primary film- ing location being Santa Fe, New Mexico, rather than say, the Moon, a feat most likely accomplishable with Netflix’s infinite mon- ey pit. Beyond the general cheap nature of Sandler’s productions due to not renting entire ocean liners for these films. Netflix’s contract also allowed him to turn one of his best performances in the Noah Baumbach An incomplete list of Adam Sandler movies and their ranking on film The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected), Image courtesy of BossHunting.com giving it the star power needed to be the an with a back brace giving Will Forte a The traditional Madonna whore com- They didn’t. closest thing to an objectively good Adam blowjob. Her name is Amber Paul. She’s a plex depictions are used even though the And even though this was his first mov- Sandler film that didn’t flop. He also turned very good actor. I’m both very happy and Madonna works at a strip club, and the ie to lose money in years, I can’t help but an award-winning performance in 2019’s very unhappy to see her here. whore is so thoroughly debased as a degen- believe that he was happy that a project this Uncut Gems, in which he showcases an abso- Anyway, after Donny becomes a na- erate through the script that one ends up aggressively manufactured to play into every lutely brutal and beautiful hero’s journey in a tional celebrity, the son he conceived from cheering the use of the dichotomy in the stereotype Middle America has on their moderately criminal underbelly of New getting molested is born and he has to take end. brain failed miserably. I’d hope that he’s York. care of the child, because his dad keeps beat- All of these narrative tricks designed to better than that. We know now that he’s Now, if you’ve been paying attention, ing him, of course. turn the audience for or against characters better than that as an artist, at least. you might notice a pattern with the films He raises this kid in every wrong way work so well because the writing is so pur- That’s My Boy is one of the worst movies described: PG-13 comedies in which he films possible and so Andy Samberg, in this mov- posefully terrible at characterization in any ever made. It plays into every preconceived around a vacation, which make approxi- ie, has a New Kids on the Block tattoo and other way. notion one could assume the average Ameri- mately 40 times F*** You Money dollars, Type 2 Diabetes by the time he’s 13. He must Sandler manages to create a movie can to have at the turn of the 2010s, makes and incredibly well-done art films that man- drive when he’s 12 because his dad is too that’s so wretchedly lowbrow not just in its no jokes anyone over the age of 5 would age to deconstruct his characters in all his drunk to do so. He ends this relationship by crudeness, but also in its expert exploitation conceivably tell their friends, might advocate other films that make no money and give telling current friends and employers that of the sensibilities of the audiences that for woman-on-man child rape, and might be critics big throbbing awards that they try to his parents died in an explosion. made him rich as hell. Adam Sandler does the most effective treatise ever created criti- give to Adam Sandler. Point is, Donny Berger f***ed up when this so well I do not believe this was acci- cizing the last excesses of the pre-streaming Sandler has, outside of some revival raising Han-Solo Berger, Andy Samberg’s dentally a bad movie. world. standup work, not really gone back to the character. And now Han-Solo, new name Throughout his life, Sandler has used I recommend you take psychotropic horrifically juvenile schtick that originally Todd Peterson (it just comes out that way), the stereotypes and prejudices Middle substances and watch it immediately. Get got him famous on SNL. He’s found such doesn’t want his father in his life. But if Don- America had against certain groups and drunk or high or take coke or whatever. Just success in the fledgling family gross out ny doesn’t get $50,000 cash to the IRS by people, even using multiple storylines in his screw your brain up into a lower income comedy business that he can effectively act Tuesday, he’s going to prison! So, Donny movies to have the prejudices and concerns bracket and watch this. in any indie film he wants, why would he needs to reconnect with his son so he can of all races and backgrounds covered (see try? mooch off him and his big-shot hedge fund and Bumpty). He knows this, and PAGE FIVE | VOLUME 55 | ISSUE 15 A Starter Guide to Sustainable Living Some Helpful Tips and Ideas

In the kitchen: fee, invest in a refillable Keurig • Invest in a menstrual period cup. cups. You can still enjoy your They are a one time investment • when grocery shopping, make sure morning coffee, without the waste that eliminates your need for peri- I started researching sustain- you buy loose fruits and vegetables. that accompanies it. od pads and liners. able living after watching multiple Many stores use single use plastic • Invest in a silicone mat for your • Swap your toothbrush with a bam- documentaries on Netflix about the wraps for their produce that is not baking in place of parchment pa- boo one. Bamboo is compostable state of our planet, such as Plastic recyclable, instead use your reusa- per. They are very durable and will and biodegradable, so whenever it Ocean, Our Planet, and Chasing Cor- ble produce bags if needed. stay with your for a long time. is time to change your toothbrush al. These documentaries helped me • Swap your sponge for natural bio- you will be throwing away some- realize the impact of some of our con- “...they did not degradable loofah. thing that won’t stay on our planet venient, yet harmful, habits that we forever. have developed over the years as hu- just help me re- In the bathroom: mans. For instance, when we throw duce how much I would suggest starting your swap away something in the trash, we are waste I produce, • Switch to soap and shampoo bars. to a more sustainable living by focus- not fully aware of its destination nor In most grocery stores, they come ing on one area at a time. This way its final state on earth, which devel- but also saved wrapped in a paper box, and some you would not feel overwhelmed in oped a sense of detachment from the me a good come free of any packaging materi- the process and ensure that you do issue. We do not see the trash filling als. everything with intention. Note landfills around the world, nor the amount of mon- • Invest in a reusable safety razor for down areas where you produce a lot effect of plastic on our health, oceans, ey in the long your shaving needs. The blades are of waste, especially plastic waste, and and animals. However, with the help run!” recyclable and are much cheaper try to find a more sustainable choice of documentaries like the ones men- than plastic razors. to swap it. Perfection is never the tioned above and the glorious inter- • On the topic of shaving, a bar of idea, instead aim for an imperfect yet net, we can educate ourselves and • reuse glass sauce jars. One way is shaving cream would reduce how continuous practice. I wish you all a come up with alternatives that re- to shop at a bulk store, like Fresh many plastic bottles you accumu- happy sustainable living! duce our general waste and hopefully Thyme here in Terre Haute, and late in your bathroom. improve our health overall. using the jars by filling them with rice, coffee, or nuts. The following list includes • Replace paper towels with cloth “I would suggest starting your swap to simple ways to introduce sustainable and fabric rags. This way whenever a more sustainable living by focusing living into our daily lives. I have in- you need to clean them, you can corporated some of these in my life just throw them in the washing on one area at a time. This way you for the past year, and they did not machine. would not feel overwhelmed in the just help me reduce how much waste • Invest in a reusable beeswax wrap process and ensure that you do every- I produce, but also saved me a good to replace foil or saran (cling) wrap amount of money in the long run! that can only be used once. thing with intention.“ • If you use Keurig to make your cof-

Vegan Chocolate Cake Recipe An Adventure Into Delectability

Preparation 3. Pour the water over all the ingredi- 5. Instead of frosting, sprinkle a little 1. Position a rack in the center of the ents and stir the ingredients to- powdered sugar on top before oven and preheat to 375°F. Lightly gether with a table fork, reaching serving. into the corners, until you can’t see grease an 8-inch square pan. Makes one 8-inch square any more flour and the batter looks fairly well homogenized. Storage cake, or 8 to 12 servings. Keep at room temperature, wrapped 2. Sift the flour, cocoa, baking soda, This cake couldn’t be eas- and salt directly into the baking airtight, for up to 3 days; refrigerate ier! Don’t be intimidated by the pan, then add the sugar. With your 4. Bake for 35 to 40 minutes, or until after that. the top is springy and a toothpick number of ingredients. If you’ve finger, poke 2 small holes and 1 large one in the dry ingredients. inserted in the center comes out baked before, you have some of Into one of the small holes pour dry. Cool the cake in the pan on a wire rack, then cut and serve it this stuff in your pantry. If not, the vanilla, into the other one the vinegar, and into the larger one the from the pan. then here’s your chance to get oil. some of the staples. It’s all mixed in the pan, no bowl needed. This is a no-fail recipe. Enjoy!

Ingredients • 1 1/2 cups (7 ounces) bleached all-purpose flour • 1/4 cup (0.75 ounce) unsweet- ened cocoa powder (Hershey’s) • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda • 1/2 teaspoon salt • 1 cup (7.5 ounces) granulated sugar • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract • 1 tablespoon white or cider vinegar • 6 tablespoons vegetable oil • 1 cup water • Optional: powdered sugar for Sometimes you just need some cake. dusting Image courtesy of http://www.hotchocolatehits.com/2019/01/best-vegan-chocolate-cake-ii.html PAGE SIX | VOLUME 55 | ISSUE 15 Unpopular Opinions, pt 2

Electric Boogaloo

Aidan Moulder William Kemp Opinions Editor Editor-in-Chief

Let’s face it: no matter I have no idea why who you are, you most def- 6ix9ine- and Lil Pump-type initely have an unpopular rappers are popular. What opinion. Well, as it turns sane person intentionally out, the staff here at the listens to the mumbled Rose Thorn consists of words, endless profanities, mostly normal people with and “hate speech”? While unpopular opinions, and it is fun to listen to angry we’re here to tell you songs, I prefer to listen to about them. something comprehensible at the very least. Also, Before we do that, I’m whose bright idea was it to going to give you one of my idolize these types of peo- own unpopular opinions: ple? They lead extremely Spongebob Squarepants is one destructive lifestyles and of the worst shows ever should in no shape or form created. Who in the right be considered a role model. mind said, “Yes, an excru- ciatingly annoying cast of characters along with me- diocre writing and average Colin Beach animation quality and will Rose News Editor make for a great show”? What gets me isn’t really Though most people how bad the show is, but tend to hate on them, the fact that people love it Crocs are actually very like they love their own good shoes. In my life, I’ve child! owned two pairs of Crocs: one light green pair, and now one red pair. The look of them is always made fun of, especially if the strap is in “action mode”, a.k.a. so your foot doesn’t slide out easily. But personally, I en- joy the bright colors and style, especially since my Image courtesy of medium.com current ones are Rose - Hulman colors. As a swim- Matthew Supp mer, Crocs are convenient Flipside Editor to slip on and off, and I can wear them around the Bacon is something that pool without worrying I grew up with, and let me about them getting wet. tell you, it is just not that Yes, some people go over- good. As a meat, it borders board decorating them Aidan Moulder not having enough sub- with Jibbitz, but I still be- Opinions Editor stance to be worth eating. lieve they are handy, styl- As a breakfast food, it ish, and overall fun to barely passes due to its have. high level of grease. And taste? Eh. I tolerate bacon and on the off chance it ap- pears accidentally in one of Jonathan Kawauchi my meals, I will not active- World News Editor ly avoid eating it. My big- gest thing is that bacon is simply not as good as peo- ple make it out to be. Its fat/grease/oil content make it by far one of the more unhealthy meats, and yet people seem to put it in everything: bacon wrapped green beans, chocolate cov- ered bacon, hell, there's even bacon flavored tooth- paste. I just don’t get the obsession. PAGE SEVEN | VOLUME 55 | ISSUE 15 Men’s Tennis Track & Field

Caleigh Kintner Caleigh Kintner Sports Editor Sports Editor

Rose-Hulman Institute of Rose-Hulman Institute of Technolo- Technology picked up three match gy recorded two event wins and one victories against strong competition school record, along with seven top- to open the 2020 season in Michi- five finishes, at the Illinois Wesleyan gan on Saturday. Keck Select Meet on Saturday. Photo by Rose-Hulman Athletics In the season opener against NCAA Mary-Helen Shomba set a school Division III No. 12 ranked Case gles matches were close against the record in the 60-meter hurdles for , the Engineers won two Division II opponent, the third time this season with a singles matches. Ian Land- with Landwehr narrowly falling 6-4, mark of 9.04 seconds. Shomba's Photo by Rose-Hulman Athletics wehr picked up a 6-2, 6-4 win at 7-6 at No. 1 singles and Josh Giam- mark topped a field including several Youndt in the triple jump. No. 1 singles, and Joseph Con- battista going to a third-set tie- of the nation's top NCAA Division rad battled to a 2-6, 7-6, 1-0 (10-7) breaker before falling 10-5 at the No. III runners. Other top-five performers victory in the No. 3 singles match. 6 singles flight. were Aaron Lannoy with a fourth- Kyle Brownell recorded the No. 4 place in the men's 800; Schrader Later in the day against NCAA Divi- Rose-Hulman stands 0-2 on the sea- ranked men's high jump in school with a fifth in the men's weight sion II Ferris State, the No. 3 dou- son and faces Augustana and Coe history to win the event. Brownell throw; and Dara Smith with a fifth- bles team of Andrew Schiff- next Saturday in Rock Island, Illi- cleared 6' 7" to take home top honors place in the women's high jump. man and Mark Slaninka picked up a nois. on the day. 7-5 win at No. 3 doubles. Two sin- Rose-Hulman finished fifth in men's Runner-up performers for Rose- team scoring and eighth on the Hulman included Kristian Zadlo in women's side with half of the team's the pole vault and Nathan Schrad- roster traveling to the meet. er in the shot put with a personal Women’s Basketball best mark. The Fightin' Engineers return to ac- Third-place finishers included Mikey tion at the DePauw Invitational next Holtz in the pole vault and Tim Saturday.

Caleigh Kintner Sports Editor

The Rose-Hulman Institute of Men’s Basketball Technology women's basketball team battled No. 6 ranked Transyl- vania University into a one- possession game midway through Caleigh Kintner the fourth quarter, before the hosts Sports Editor Photo by Rose-Hulman Athletics pulled away for a 69-55 victory in Heartland Collegiate Athletic Con- Other key contributors for the Transylvania University ference action on Saturday after- Fightin' Engineers included Nosa placed four players in double fig- noon. Igiehon with eight points, four re- ures and shot 55% from the field to bounds and three steals; Barlow earn an 88-67 men's basketball vic- Rose-Hulman rallied from a nearly with eight points; and Kahlan Jest- tory over Rose-Hulman Institute of double-figure deficit to tie the score er with six points and a team-high Technology on Saturday afternoon. at 46-46 on a free throw by Rose seven rebounds. Desirae Web- Burnham with 9:04 left in the ster added four points, three re- Brandon Cromwell led the Transyl- fourth quarter. A layup by Hannah bounds and two steals. vania offense with 18 points. Spen- Photo by Rose-Hulman Athletics Woody at the 7:13 mark kept Rose- cer McKinney added 17 points, Hulman within two points at 50- Transylvania won its 17th consecu- Gavin Root scored 12, and Zach field and hit seven three-pointers to 48, and the Engineers maintained tive game and improved to 20-1 Larimore had 10 points for the host jump out to a 44-29 lead at the just a four-point deficit at 54-50 overall and 14-0 in HCAC play. The Pioneers. half. The hot shooting continuted with 4:23 remaining after a basket Fightin' Engineers stand 5-16 and 4- for Transylvania with 14 points in from Jordan Barlow. 10 in league games heading into a Craig McGee paced the Rose- the first 3:30 of the second half, as road game at Franklin College on Hulman offense with 11 points and the Pioneers pulled away for their Transylvania relied on its defense to Wednesday. five rebounds. Taylor seventh straight victory. pull away from the strong Rose- Heil contributed a career-high nine Hulman effort down the points on 4-4 from the field, Max Rose-Hulman had a four-game win- stretch. Woody led Rose-Hulman Chaplin added eight points, and the ning streak snapped with Satur- with 14 points and four as- duo of Eli Combs and John Czar- day's loss. The Fightin' Engineers sists. Nola Wilson added 12 points necki scored six points each for the stand 11-10 on the season and 8-6 in on 4-5 from three-point range and Fightin' Engineers. HCAC play, and host conference co three assists. -leader Franklin College (14-7, 10-4 Transylvania shot 55% from the HCAC) on Wednesday at 7:30 pm.

Men’s Women’s Swimming Basketball Basketball & Diving

February 12: vs. Franklin February 12: @ Franklin February 13: HCAC Championship

February 15: @ Defiance February 15: @ Defiance February 14: HCAC Championship

February 19: @ Earlham February 19: vs Earlham February 15: HCAC Championship

February 22: @ Hanover February 22: @ Hanover

Flipside Flipside

PAGE EIGHT | VOLUME 55 | ISSUE 15

WACKY PROF QUOTES “It makes me feel good, I was addicted to mud” TOP TEN -Dr. Sutterer Election Processes “I know I’m supposed to be a professor, but I’m not very smart” - Dr. Danesh  Iowa Caucus

“Kids are remarkably good at hurting themselves. My  RHIT SGA first design got rejected because it would have killed a kid” -Dr. Stamper TOP TEN

“Now we are going to commit mild heresy...and take Pickup Lines to use this the limit outside the integral” Valentines Day - Dr. Kozai

“You can buy a hotel with cocaine, but that doesn’t  Are you helicase, because I want you to unzip my make it currency.” jeans - Dr. Estrada  Are you a trashcan, because I’d like to put my junk inside of you “It’s like weed in California; you’re going to get it  I like you like I like my glasses, sitting on the bridge eventually, you just have to go through some of my nose regulations first”  Are you freshmen floor dinner, because I never want - Dr. Chapman to miss you.

“If you’re going to ask to turn homework in late, do  Are you a baker, because you make my banana cream in private not in front of the entire class. That way I  Girl, you thicker than the racial divide in this don’t look soft.” country. -Dr. Herniter  Are you quiet hours, because I’m gonna violate you all night long. Did your prof say something hilarious or just great out of  Hey I think there’s something wrong with my phone, context? Did you hear something confusing or funny on it doesn’t have you number. your jaunt about the fine halls of this institution? We  Do you wanna go to my place and watch some porn want to hear about it! Send your quotes with who said it on my flat-screen mirror? to [email protected] or fill out this nifty google form: https://goo.gl/forms/bB339sx6GHohggYt1  You want...sum fuk?  Are you a cat, because I’m feline a connection.

SGA blocks witnesses  Are you a Middle Eastern country, because this American wants to quickly come in and seize your during Presidential trial assets. EcE_C0rruptlon_In4maNt In a decision shocking the seven people that pay attention to student government matters, SGA senate voted to block witnesses from appearing during the judicial trial over the recent electoral “I’m trying to cut back on doughnuts. I only eat them proceedings. on Saturdays or when I’m drunk.” The SGA election committee came under fire last week when it was revealed that one of the candidates didn’t actually have the -Random Fed-Ex Employee requirements to run for president, and the senate had suspended the constitution for approximately 52 seconds to allow them to run. While this may not seem like a huge issue, some people expressed Joke of the Week: concerns that the student senate was able to “ignore legal documents for a certain period of time, as long as it’s, I don’t know, under a Your sex life minute or something”. Similarly to when SGA receives $20 OTFRs, this spectacularly snowballed into a major issue sparking huge debate. The case was brought to the judicial council for review, where inside sources claim that discourse unlike anything politics has seen took place inside the room. For four hours, the judicial council did anything from calm collected discussion and debate to informed decision making over the topic. When asked for a comment, judicial clerk Seiji Takagi responded with “no comment”. After the results by the judicial council were released, Erik Hayes requested a full trial to take place instead of calm deliberation by 5 students “totally in the pocket of Seiji Takagi”. When asked about the possibility of bribing other judges to follow his results, former aide to the Treasurer Seiji Takagi responded with “no comment”. A full trial was planned for last Friday, which took approximately one hour, nine minutes and 37 seconds. However, controversy was raised when it was decided that no witnesses would be allowed during the trial to present evidence, due to the abundant number of witnesses lining up outside the Music Room (Shack Lounge) in the Union. Rob “Danger” Coons was quoted stating that “If we go down in the witness path, we’re going to want the whistleblower. We’re going to want former deputy treasurer Seiji Takagi”. Students were disappointed that they would not be allowed to present their evidence to the senate. One potential witness was interviewed on the info he knew, stating that the exec board misled SGA senate to allow for grievous misconduct related to the constitution”. Another witness was quoted that “[I] was just here to get funding for a $19 RCA-HDMI cable so I could watch bootleg anime on VHS”. Finally, potential witness and former senator Seiji Takagi was quoted saying “no comment”. For those who remember last year, SGA elections had similar drama when claims of Russian meddling stalled the election process and forced another judicial review. Treasurer Seiji Takagi at the time was quoted saying “no comment” when asked about the decision to keep the election results from last year. It’s unsure what the results for this election will be, but there’s no doubt that SGA exec will spend another $3000 discussing the results during their all-expenses paid transition dinner at stables. For more information, send a message to [email protected], or email “no comment” to [email protected].

DISCLAIMER: Anything that you see on this page, the Flipside, can be taken to be false information, with exception to the Wacky Prof an d Heard ‘Round Campus. Anything that is not attributed to a specific author can be assumed to be written by me, Matthew Supp. If you have any questions, comment, or content, do not hesitate to reach out to Matthew Supp, the Flipside Editor, at Thank you for reading!