The Caveat LectorVol. 10, Issue 3

“They say what happens at Law Games stays in Montreal...”

Team Sasky: Synchro, Fun and Naked Parkour Champions The Best Start to the New Year and its Controversial New “”

Also: The Value of Contributing to the Caveat (From an Old Friend) · Some Avian Advice T-Nights Returns · The Low-Down on Law Games · Stacie’s New Year’s Eve Adventure The Pros and Cons of Naked Parkour · Some Truths You Can’t Exchange · Confes- sions of a YouTube Diva · Corporate Law and Just Rights Club Updates · An Outsider’s

View of the LSA · More Haikus · Library Lists · The A-Zs of a (Reformed) First Year Editors-in-Chief Alyssa Vassos Glenn MacKay The Caveat Lector Graham Christie Margi Mataj VOLUME 10, ISSUE 3 Sarah Miller Design Glenn MacKay LETTER FROM THE EDITOR!S" Sarah Miller Two years and some months ago, the fact, my grammar is sub-par, at best, Contributors wise elder editors of the Caveat Lec- and has been slowly eroded by Face- Tom Posyniak Galen Richardson tor handed their pride and joy over to book posting (but, realistically, I value Tyler Nightingale we who remain. The time is coming, “likes” and solid Facebook perfor- Mike Proudfoot soon, when all of us will be departing mances over and above cogent prose Carly Romanow for the frightening “real world” and in journalism and academia). Steve Robertson Andy Arguin will no longer be able to work with Will Lane And, I’m not forgetting Talon Regent As regular readers will my audience either. Leif Jensen Thomas Hynes know, we are looking We’re all here, pre- Samuel Edmonson to replace our numbers sumably, because we Bojana Prekic before then. can string a word or Julia two together. In that Stephanie Laskoski While I won`t pre- sense, I hope I do not Disclaimer sume to educate come off as an arro- The Editors of the Caveat Lector, in their in!nite wis- anyone on the merits gant ass who is talking dom, do not necessarily endorse or condone the of the Caveat, I offer down to a group of ac- opinions included herein. The submisions are the the following, which complished writers. views of your peers. Take it up with them. editor-in-chief Tom Posyniak wrote in What I will suggest Misson Statement is that I like doing The Caveat Lector exists to be redundant. It also Issue 4) of 2011-12. I want YOU... writing. I do it for fun. exists to publish and make I’m kinda like the Tony available information and creative works from law think you don`t know Tom, please Montana of writing. Just like he kills students for law students, remember that he`s responsible for cockroaches for fun, I write for fun. I all the while maintaining a standard of journalistic just about every set of CANs you`ve fully expect to be a senile quack writ- integrity. Well maybe not ever seen.) His article was titled: Why ing to every newspaper in the country integrity but something close. you should write for the Caveat: The about the good ol’ days of when the Secret to Success and Writing Good: CIA didn’t run social media and when Address - Caveat Lector c/o College of Law I wouldn’t be so bold as to say that I sive acid. 15 Campus Drive know the secret to writing well. Oh, Saskatoon, SK. wait, that’s the title of the article. Well, In case you couldn’t tell by my reckless S7N 5A6 this is awkward. Okay, I wouldn’t be so stewardship of this rag of a publica- E-Mail bold as to suggest that I am Master of tion, I like the sound of my own printed [email protected] the Secrets of Writing. I’m not. Nor am voice. But, over my time writing for the I even particularly good at writing. In Caveat, I’ve made what appears to be MAKE A BIRD YOUR BEST FRIEND By: Galen Richardson, LSA President Welcome to semester two. the mooting experience here is a useful list of the hierarchy of I have been threatened reminded by the Big Poobah hawks and the social ranks for Chief Editor that the Caveat is always in need of more which each bird was supposedly contributors AND MOST IMPORTANTLY future appropriate: tabloid authors editors. The Caveat is the best forum to ensure that law school provides you with an oppor- 1. Whiskey Jacks). Merloun Hopefully you had a restful and relaxing winter break. 2. 3. that’s a rough return. 4. middle of their moots. Although you were repeatedly 5. welcomed in September you have now begun to earn Baron: The Bustard 6. - Knight: The Sacre and the Sacret per years about their own moot experience. I write this 7. perhaps presumptuously because my moot experience Esquire: The Lanere and the Laneret that the immortal words of my upper-year sibling Lady: The Marlyon 9. everything. I used old undergrad habits of last min- Young Man: The Hobby ute preparation and watching Rocky montages to get 10. ready. The results were not great. More importantly it led me to one of my more important law school 11. conclusions: Take the opportunity this school offers. Poor Man: The Tercel Though I am a big proponent of the social aspect, and 12. Priest: The Sparrowhawk this is one of the last times in your life you are charged 13. Holy Water Clerk: The Musket you have and bring it into the law. Your education, 14. your experience and your future clients will all better Knave or Servant: The Kestrel be served if you are familiar with the law and more 15. your work. Although most of the western world may frown on the sport of falconry, I like the idea that a bird can become Considering I have no real other advice to offer around FIVE WORDS FOR YOU FOLKS By: Tyler Nightingale, Student at Law Hey kids, it’s uncle Tyler here,1 and hope you carried on the message paid,5 but instead of doing CPLED I’m writ- I tried to preach in our short time I am now ing this article. together: Being blessed with the part of the curse of only getting an acceptance machine. - letter from the U of S was really One of you ally know me, you’re either half- the start to the time of your life.2 asked me Enjoy it while you can. for CANs for a class in or totally deaf. A big “What up” to which I pos- all those second-years; I see you you know that I am now practising3 sibly landed the implausible A+.6 law as an articling student in Red We started shooting the shit about through law school” updates to a Deer, Alta. As a whole, articling law school versus articling, and I is pretty sweet.4 But, when com- wanted to pass on some words of pared to any year of law school, it’s wisdom:7 Enjoy it while you can. friends, and, I mean it, friends, I super-not fun. I mean, sure you get I would like to stress that it does not matter what year you are in, anyone can start living his or her “Get involved. Win an election! Lose an - election! Make huge sandwiches. volved.9 Win an election!10 Lose an election!11 Make huge sandwiches. Eat apples loudly in the library in your second year. Start playing Eat apples loudly in the library in your . Start playing . Be second year. friendly. Become bi-sectional. Win Challenge Cup.12 Win Challenge Cup.13 Win Challenge Cup.14 Make Start playing hockey. Start playing foot- done than said). Remember that ball. Be friendly. Become bi-sectional. everyone’s just as tired of reading as you are. Help someone out. Be Helped. Maybe get off your lazy Win Challenge Cup. Win Challenge ass and clean the microwave.15 “Did he just cite himself?” you ask Cup. Win Challenge Cup. 16 You know, what, this article is halfway done, so enjoy it while you can.17 Make friends. Be friendly (it’s easier Let’s talk enemies. It’s inevitable done than said).” that you won’t like someone or I made the biggest ass of myself you’ve ever seen. I be roommates for two years. The power of an earnest sorry really works. Learn from your mistakes, and grow as a person. Enjoy it while you can. group, friend the shit out of them and make your own sweet hiding spot to study in Murray. Realize every- time at school. Make friends with those people. Work one knows about it. Discover what you actually give with them on creative projects. Want to talk? Host two shits about, and write a paper about that. It will an event, I mean you can’t MC everything,19 but try to be easier, and it will be harder.23 - calculator a hard time.24 If you’re just running in to get sic? Join the band!20 Do you actually give a shit about a book, park in the Bat Cave below the school, that something? Write an article! Do something new for door is open 24/7. Shortcuts make life easy. Enjoy it grad auction!21 Buy something from grad auction.22 while you can. to a party. Moot? Moot! I landed my very last possible application. Have a kitchen dance party while pre- In a couple months all of you will graduate to the next the ingredients in your fridge without asking but no have someone to look down upon. And graduates get one gets mad because it’s shockingly quite good and - delicious. Enjoy it while you can. cious cycle. But before it’s over...25

2. But if you saw the weather forecast and transferred to Bond, I understand. 3. Endlessly being wrong. 4. Disclaimer – my experience is quite limited. I was literally the last person to start this year in Alberta. Sure other people started the same day, but I was late. 5. Technically, they call it that. 6. I did. Municipal Law – I’m now running docket courts as a municipal prosecutor, so if your dog bites someone in Sylvan Lake, Alta., you answer to me. that law school had to offer, and I added studying-in-a-Speedo to the menu. - SCC got this one right.” 9. Have you volunteered at CLASSIC yet? Do it. I know the guy who set the record for adjournments. - 17. Don’t enjoy the mistakes. 19. You can’t. I did. 20. Jump at opportunities others have missed, you might wind up rapping on stage at Amigos. 22. This article is really starting to sound like it’s just about how great I am, but did I mention there’s a song about me too? https:// soundcloud.com/hot-nights/hot-nights 23. You’ll have a higher pressure on yourself to do good, but also you will not hate the research. This is a pro-tip. 24. Accountants use calculators. Lawyers use accountants. 25. Enjoy it while you can. LAW GAMES RECAP 2014 By: Mike Proudfoot Well, that’s another one in the In fact, our quidditch skills were right to the so imposing that we won two bitter end. cent sure that most of the team has quidditch games by forfeit simply made it back from Montreal, so because the other team was too The synchro- now seems a good time to recap the nized swim- too hung over). We ended up losing ming team semis to the UBC team, who had took gold Upon arrival in Montreal, we were “professional” quidditch players in acrobatic greeted by some of the coldest on their team - WHO THE &%^* fashion. Em- weather ever experienced in the - anating with grace and beauty, the world, with no exaggeration what- DITCH?! team rallied behind their captain, soever. It was so cold that even our Nikki Cargill, and threw together If you were disciplined enough to the performance of a lifetime. Jim get out of bed at the ungodly hour Judiesch, a former competitive remarked saying: “mmmaan viissss swimmer, gave a whole new mean- - rewarded with a demonstration of ing to Swan Lake. Ryan Nagel and stand him likely because his face supreme b-ball court justice. The - was frozen). ternating between tears of joy and Being from Sas- “WHO THE &%^* PLAYS tears of sadness. It katchewan, this was truly a power- meant we had a PROFESSIONAL QUIDDITCH?!” ful moment. natural advantage, had they not can- With all the tri- celled all the outdoor . But, “Dream Team” fought hard and lost umphs and tribulations of Team alas, us winter-folk still had the Sasky, some might say the true fun games! Led by Stacie Kettel, It is impossible to single out one our fun games team took home the person’s performance on a team as was the invention of “hotel room banner. Destroying the competition stacked as the one we had. They parkour”. They say what happens in snowshoe races, snow sculpting and gingerbread house building what I hear anyway - this old boy but the black market videotapes needs his beauty sleep). distributed by Kevin Hoy beg to differ. Our sports teams were no slouch - tube water ) was equally I’m sure you will hear plenty more ball, inner-tube , quid- relentless. Down three goals in the ditch, and . print. Simply put, it is an awesome With a few near misses in other fought back to 4-3 only to lose 5-4 time spent with really solid people. sports and one appeal gone awry, following two unanswered goals. I would highly recommend adding we competed in virtually every single event. HOW TO CATCH A CAB # BROUGHT TO YOU BY STACIE By: Carly Romanow and Steve Robertson Well as you all have heard by now, Beaches - we’re fancy like that. papers and we had yet another year of de- Of course we were approached by clothes in the back this year. Not only was I able to convinced that we were the Delta seat, there achieve the crowning moment of Hotel-staying-kinda-ladies. After a wasn’t any my law school experience, winning brief conversation about my lack of sort of cab Synchronized Swimming, I was voice and the activities that might meter or also opened to a whole new world of caused it, we slammed our Sex any type of of possibilities. None other than on the Beaches and ventured out markers that the clothing mistress herself, Stacie again in search of a cab. displayed Kettel, brought on that epiphany. what cab It’s almost poetic that the day that company my life truly started was also the the man was point I decided to walk behind a working for. with the team to a bar called Ivy for parked car and lost Stacie for a I realized New Year’s Eve. We were treated moment. By the time I had walked then that I back around, I heard Stacie calling was not in hours for a drink) and drank and for me to hurry up, she had found a a cab. No, danced the night away. Before we cab!! I ran around the car and saw no. I was in knew it, it was apparently 3 a.m. Stacie getting into the back of a cab a random and, apparently, they close bars at a couple of feet in front of me. strangers that time and apparently they want back seat. Now, I’m not saying that I wasn’t intoxicated at that point, but I’m At this point I began to panic: Stacie and I seemed to be the “Stacie, this isn’t a cab, we have to only Saskie people left, and so we I had also hopped into the back of get out.” proceeded outside to make our way that car with Stacie. Once in the home. As it was New Years Eve it back of the car, I started looking “Carly, it is a cab.” was basically impossible to grab around and found reality crash- “No, it isn’t! This guy says he’s a cab at that time. So we began ing down around me. There were just trying to get home.” slowly making our way back to the hotel. Stacie, who apparently did not foresee walking during the night, complained of the crippling “Moral of the story kids is that pain her heels were causing and so we decided to duck into the next Stacie may be Neo and it’s bar in sight to give those barking dogs a break. always a good idea to have an assertive drunk in your corner.” We entered a nice little Irish pub and apparently ordered Sex-on-the- “Carly, do you think that cab’s need to have lights, and drivers LAST NIGHT IN MONTREAL who know that it is a cab? Those By: Tabla des los Hermanos are only restrictions. Illusions made standing there, jaws dropped at by a system trying to keep you re- was dreaming. Maybe I was. But the strange spectacle before them. strained. Anything can be a cab. If I’d never had a dream like that Maybe it was the thought that this it is running, and there is a driver, before – one that left me dizzy, activity was a great way to kill any any vehicle can be a cab. You need craving a return of the sweet ec- last hope of a career and a reputa- to only make it one but refusing stasy that now crippled me. As I sat tion. But we ran on. And then, feet to accept it isn’t one. Carly, I can touching the mattress, our nimble only show you the door. You must it was all I could think about. The legs launched us to the heavens. you walk through, and demand the night before, I did Naked Parkour. - driver take you home.” Some say it arose by accident. You She told the man that we were know, Prairie kids with too much staying at the Holiday Inn and so time on their naked man-boys. the kind man began to drive us to hands. Others say I saw it all the our hotel. We chatted about our it was a disease next day on video night and how he was just trying to “Timber” that came from get home after a night shift when Minnesota. But I And those UofM apparently Stacie approached the think it’s much simpler than that. I girls? Hasta la vista. Our one last - think it was just us, a hotel room, fence: it wasn’t locked, his fault). and a few bottles of The Captain. our shattered egos hit the ground. When the man protested that he was not a cab and was just trying There we were, in our prime. They Seriously, if anyone approaches to get home, Stacie merely replied told us that when we slid off our you and asks you to participate in “We’re not going far”, called me trousers, we’d know what to do. something called Naked Parkour, over and got in the cab. We’d run. We’d jump. And for the just walk away. Or run. Basically, it entails a bunch of goonish assholes Of course, we told the man to take was our last night in Montreal and getting liquored, stripping down to us to the wrong hotel, which we of we had one thing on our minds: one their semi-transparent undies, and course corrected him and told him last libation for Bacchus. jumping around on peoples’ beds to drive us to the right one. As one with the most unacrobatic moves does in a stranger’s car at 3:30 a.m. So we did it. We each took one - He eventually took us to the right last Bacardi-tainted inhalation volves neither nudity nor parkour hotel where he dropped us off. We and set our feet in motion. As we scrounged whatever bar change we approached the bare mattress at But it has a certain allure and it’s had for him, thanked him profusely maximum velocity, we each expe- been sweeping the nation. Well, and got out. rienced some last minute apprehen- UofS Law nation anyway. sion. Maybe it was the audience Moral of the story kids is that of our peers with their cameras I know what I’m doing tonight. Do Stacie may be Neo and it’s always you? I can already hear the intoxi- a good idea to have an assertive minds. Maybe it was the perplexed cating call of Ke$ha, beckoning drunk in your corner. female visitors from the UofM with the sweet melodies of Timber. NAKED PARKOUR IS FUCKING STUPID By: Andy Arguin and Will Lane Naked parkour involves a bunch Whether these ladies could even As charter of drunken idiots, taking off their see us across the muggy room members of through the noxious fumes that the Tabla de It’s that simple. It’s that stupid. An made breathing both hard and un- los Herma- accurate picture, for those of you pleasant is debatable. nos, we feel never exposed to this monstrosity, compelled involves multiple out-of-shape law As disgusting as the smells were, to reject the students stripping down, climbing the sights were much worse: delusional onto a hotel bed, “leaping” two feet Sweat-soaked underwear, more of retelling of to the other one, before collapsing certain “members” than we cared the worst to the mattress. to see and girls turning their backs fucking hour on us. This activity is entirely of our lives. It does not involve girls. The article devoid of athletic ability, grace or We refuse to to the left mentions “perplexed charm, and results in only soiled be associated female visitors from the UofM.” mattresses and broken hearts. with this vile They were not perplexed. They and disgust- were revolted. The smells from Don’t allow participants to attribute ing practice. seven sweaty, naked buffoons their involvement to the presence We feel all repulsed these women, denying of a hotel room and Captain Mor- the shame them the chance to meet some of gan’s. The vast majority of the Law that they should have felt. Naked the team’s more normal and less parkour is a wart upon the Law sweaty members who were help- class and dignity when slamming less bystanders, trapped and forced drinks. to be celebrated. to watch the gruesome activity.

“Naked parkour involves a bunch of drunken idiots,

It’s that simple. It’s that stupid.

An accurate picture involves multiple out-of-shape law students stripping down, climbing onto a hotel bed, leaping” two feet to the other one, before collapsing to the mattress.” THE REALITIES OF GOING ON EXCHANGE By: Folks You Didn’t See Last Semester (Who Weren’t at CLASSIC) The thought of going on an ex- it be any different? Clearly, with it’s inevitable that you’ll make change to far off lands, both exotic thousands of students from dozens countless and meaningful con- and historic, likely triggers ideas of of countries making individual nections to locals abroad. You’ll romantic adventures and a carefree probably pick up the local language term outside the walls of the Col- processes, nothing could go wrong - lege of Law. To be honest, many of or be lost in translation. Interna- landic is a breeze!). This will be us had the same ideas when we got tional correspondence with com- useful when trading obscenities plete strangers is a headache-free with the universally unwelcom- packed and optimistic, eager eyes interaction with zero possibility ing, unhelpful, and unapproachable aglow. The reality, however, is that of confusion. You could probably people of your new setting. Per- the student exchange experience is leave everything to the very last haps they kid because they love. not at all what you might think it to minute and suffer no repercussions. We’re not sure, but we all agreed be. There’s even a good chance that a that every interaction we attempted nice intake person on the other side with non-Canadians was painful, Pre-trip Organization of the planet will just do everything scary, and truly horrid. Be happy While things invariably went for you and have the keys ready you are within the insular walls of downhill for each of us, it all upon your arrival. Applying to go the College of Law. The rest of the started rather well. world is evil and un- In January and incredibly unhealthy went about the easy, and ugly. Swedes straightforward, “The next time there’s a law school are loathe to laugh completely predict- event at the Scuzz, count yourself and have fun. Aus- able process of sies are bundles of applications and pa- lucky The festive and diverse stress and resistance. There is nothing culture of the Canadian prairies quirky or lightheart- approved law school has no equal.” ed about the Icelan- destinations, we each made our preferred now that we’re back, choices and had we’ve come to ap- them very quickly preciate the SNAILS on exchange is no harder or more in a completely new light. institutions responded promptly complicated than getting your bus and with perfectly clear instruc- pass renewed. Foreign Lands tions regarding course selection Speaking of the unattractive out- and accommodation arrangements. Foreigners side world, the beauty, charm, and Even a quick, unplanned trip to the Because you will be within the ex- romance of Europe and elsewhere change system, taking classes open is highly overrated. Winding, menial, bureaucratic reason was to exchange students and often liv- cobblestoned streets are annoying simple and cheap. And why would ing with other exchange students, and treacherous things. Centuries- old architecture is repetitive and or $20 per glass. That would be uninteresting. The climate Down crazy. Under is surprisingly inhospitable and dark. Once you’ve visited one Miscellany outcropping of volcanic rock in As further proof that going on exchange is not what you think or is nothing serene or beautiful about fear, here’s a few more tidbits from northern Scandinavia. We tried our various experiences: to enjoy some wine and cheese in a quaint little Parisian café, but getting sick for a long time and having your travel insurance everywhere. And never mind what come through for you is quick you’ve heard about the espressos of and hassle-free. instant coffee of Israel. The leg- Making friends and having a ends of packed, all-night European good time in Australia is very hard to do. There is nowhere most of the world’s capital cities to surf. shut down around midnight. The next time there’s a law school event If you lose your passport in at the Scuzz, count yourself luck Iceland you’re screwed. The you’re not at Sweden’s “Berns” or Canadian Embassy will laugh one of Reykjavik’s dark and brood- in your face and provide no as- ing pubs. The festive and diverse sistance whatsoever. culture of the Canadian prairies has no equal. Helsinki is a terrifyingly dirty and dangerous city. The streets Costs are lined with pickpockets and In terms of costs, we all overes- public transit is a disastrous timated how much it would be to mix of broken down trams and go on exchange and live in urban constantly-late subways. foreign capitals. Housing was easy Navigating to and from the incredibly reasonable for spa- various island neighbourhoods cious, fully-functioning, and well of Stockholm is an arduous equipped private dwellings. It was task. You’re better off staying so cheap we didn’t even mind the on the mainland. There’s noth- rent we were concurrently paying ing to see out there anyway. for our places back in Saskatoon. Academics free. They might not know how to brew beer or mix a cocktail in the study are brutal. Seriously. You’ve rest of the world, but they certainly been warned. don’t charge anything close to $15 CORPORATE LAW CLUB UPDATE

Inspired by a student from U of T law, the Corporate and, potentially, an intensive semester, like the current Business Law clinical program at USask Law. CLASSIC program. We are hoping that the College will support the initiative, and that there will be a new We have met with the Dean, who is very receptive to option for students next year. adding this initiative to the experiential learning com- ponent of law school education. CLC members Ben Rakochy, Deep Brar, Karyn Kowalski, Dan Pagan, events. We have been invited by WMCZ to watch a Talon Regent and Alanna Carlson have done research Blades game from their box seats in the Credit Union various programs at other law schools, and have writ- ten a proposal for the Dean. March. With the help of the CLC, the College is bring- We are pursuing ideas of doing externships with law semester with a bang, the CLC will be organizing the Business Law Clinic that would be partnered with annual tournament, which is tentatively set community organizations and mentored by lawyers from the community. This clinic would be for startup make sure that you do not plan to leave Saskatoon too soon! If you are interested in the group, our business law proposal, or our events, contact us, stop us in the as incorporation paperwork or contracts). The goal hall, or come to a CLC meeting! JUST RIGHTS UPDATE

The College of Law social justice group, Just Rights a beautiful painting of an Aboriginal girl holding up an hosted the 4th Annual Painting Justice Auction on Jan- - uary 21. It was a huge success! Records were broken for attendance, funds raised, and cheese cubes eaten. The proceeds from the evening go to CLASSIC in support of the necessary and important work the good of volunteerism. Chantelle Johnson spoke on behalf folks there do everyday. Many thanks to artists Cyn- of the benefactor, CLASSIC and Dan LeBlanc, a stu- thia Blanchette, Jana Perez, Jared Nordick and others dent whom recently completed the intensive semester who volunteered, and donated and purchased pieces. with CLASSIC, challenged our perceptions of people We look forward to an even better event next year! in the justice system and the meaning of access to justice. Scottish Pied Piper Mark Carter entertained us Just Rights is planning to host a Advocacy Letter writ- with his melodic bagpipes, Robbie Burns folk tunes, and guitar. Attendees admired art, placed bids, ate and session to learn how to write effective advocacy, such as a letter-to-the-editor or letter to your government Steele and Ryan Donnelly on piano. Special ordered from a Quebec artist, Professor Sarah Buhler donated more details. THE CHALLENGES OF BEING A YOUTUBE SENSATION By: Talon Regent “It is very stressful being such a huge hit on You- nice to say, don’t say anything.” Tube,” Talon Regent lamented. With over 100 views on some of his videos, Talon has become a celebrity Hateful comments are only around the city of Saskatoon. “Everywhere I go it one factor working against this seems like somebody knows me. They all want me to video protégé. On another front, Talon is battling against corpo- Talon recounted some of these experiences with tears creative use of other people’s welling in his eyes. His absence of privacy is almost copyrighted material. After tak- palpable as people he barely knows try to add him ing more than one night class on Intellectual Property, Talon had this to say: “I added some skill and judg- ment to the soundtracks I was using when I copied so stressed, Talon emphasized, “Sure, I only have one and pasted the songs into my videos. They should be considered original enough to count as my own works multiple than last year when I was at zero! I have now!” known for a year. I’m pretty sure they just want to - creep on the photos of me in my bathing suit.” that he has improperly used copyrighted material. With fame also comes infamy. While headquarters con- many people cel- ebrate Talon’s artistic indeed been banned style, others are far “Since he is clearly an expert, from sharing any more critical. “I and all videos using know that artistic ex- their servers due to pression can some- repeated copyright times be polarizing, Facebook and YouTube would dare infringement. but I can’t believe claim that he has improperly used that some people can All though there has be so cruel,” Talon copyrighted material.” been the occasional said, barely able to scandal, Talon’s contain the emotions future is still looking bottled inside him. bright. His YouTube viewership is consis- There has long been tently increasing, and an understanding in the cinematic world that critics can be brutally honest about their distaste for a partic- An expert on the YouTube business model estimates ular cinematographic work, but borderline deconstruc- that if Talon were to allow advertisements to play on tive criticism is crossing the line. Talon imparted sage his videos, he could have already made upwards of wisdom in advising that “if you don’t have anything $0.0013. EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE LSA By: Leif Jensen, Thomas Hynes, and Samuel Edmonson After running on a platform of - known as “worthless alcoholism, you have to wonder simply to smirk and mutter “stage crap”. three is complete.” 2013 LSA Presidential election. Mr. Rich- After his rise to the top seat of the ardson is as recently discovered documents LSA, Richardson been seen wan- not the only suggest that the Richardson family dering through the law building one on the has connection to the Russian mob, muttering “soon, soon.” Needless LSA, though who are alleged to have used their to say, we all had very high hopes you’d never know it from by ample promises of bloody war- the way that fare and vengeance. Who needed he talks. His periods of time in Russia “to study to be avenged is not entirely clear. right-hand their language and beautiful cul- However, Richardson appears to man is Cur- ture” though it is suspected that he have discarded his life of open tis “Yo Bro” was merely building ties to people violence. He has instead operated Mennie. of poor character. After “study- All that can ing Russian” in his undergrad, it is be said of believed that Richardson passed his in the LSA election. While the of- Curtis is that initiation around October 2012. His - he had big Halloween costume took advan- dential candidate Ida “went back tage of the beating he took for the to Ontario”, no one has seen her The records initiation, as he disguised himself as to who from various social networking into the mob, he was able to use year student Alex Morrison refused the LSA in those connections to rig the vote. to comment. He is currently facing 2012-2013 Despite this coup, he still mocks allegations of throwing the election - the previous president Marty Wales after being bribed with power blaz- as unelected. It is also alleged that ers and Leafs paraphernalia, also is remembered that the 2012-2013 impeccable morality, intelligence, “we all had very high hopes for Galen, and physical strength. While it was unlikely that anyone would be which were supported by ample promises of bloody warfare and Curtis simply does not come close. After many allegations of waste- vengeance. Who needed to be avenged ful spending and returning empty- handed from the liquor store one to is not entirely clear.” many time, one has to ask whether Curtis can really keep up with be trusted. Lemke, who “Lemke has rave reviews. As in he lit- continues to All this brings us schmooze with to Mike Proud- erally has gone to a bunch of electro- foot. Thought to dance shows” Other than that, be the only man Lemke has rave on the executive reviews. As in of the LSA who is Huy way”. Unfortunately for him, he literally has truly doing a great, job, Proudfoot we expect him to lose the dog-lover gone to a bunch of electro-dance brings respect and dignity back to vote as he left his Bernese Moun- shows and can tell you all about tain dog Hobbes in North Bay, Ont. them.

LSA Elections 2014 preview/ Second-year representative Caolan - speculation Interested in the upcoming LSA Pierre Hawkins are both power election? We’re here to get that ru- players suspected to be in the known to have made campaign mor mill started well ahead of time. running for President. We expect promises for his Section 1 win and Hawkins to run on a platform of has thus far come through with a You’ve probably never even heard “I Beat You at Settlers of Catan class calendar. He might have to go of University Council Representa- on a few more dates to woo the rest tive Zac Huywan. He’d probably accurate claims that he only plays of the school, however. Konkin, on like to change that this year as we against chumps and has no hope of the other hand, won by acclama- expect him to make a move for winning against Leif, Curtis and tion. He’ll have to face the accusa- executive, running on a strong- Calen. Hawkins will need all the tion that he’s an unemotional robot armed platform of “My way of they development cards he can get to if he’s to win over his peers.

FIRST$YEAR CASE HAIKUS $ TERM II There is one for each class. See if you can guess the Ladies, be warned that case name! a euphemism Much uncertainty, Oui, il faut qu’il fasse subsequently severed. bilingue. Mais, n’import pas - Je suis Québécois Bad RubberCo is not a RubberCo even Signed, if there is rubber. I identify

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No tip today, sir. Heilbut, Symons & Co. v. Buckleton, HJ Hayes Co v v Co Hayes HJ Buckleton, v. Co. & Symons Heilbut, THE SIX PEOPLE YOU MEET IN THE LAWBRARY By: Bojana Prekic and Julia The next time you insist to those ments on the corkboard and of ing to his non-law “friends” that you are not course, who was top of the class in friends and a typical law student, take some 1979? eating home- cooked which one of the following catego- 3. The Clangers meals. ries applies to you: Their majesty impresses us on so - 5. The 1. The Colonizer ity to make it to school weighed CSIS Hope- Before you’ve had a chance to real- fuls ize what day of the week it is, this - Its 9 a.m. busy beaver has already invaded and you’ve include a shrill voice or room clear- picked out carrel. They are prepared. They ing laugh and zero-self awareness. a carrel in have thought of every possible In the event that they aren’t just us- the least contingency. Staples include: Two ing the lawbrary as a thoroughfare, populated days worth of food, next term’s they become an inescapable social row, free of casebooks and supplementary hub. Thankfully most are mindful Clangers texts, an external hard drive and a enough to choose an aisle location. and other back-up generator. By 3 p.m. they’ve distractions. You expanded their em- “Ladies, we’ve all known one. He want to browse pire. Their friends struts in ‘just’ to drop something off, Reddit in peace. occupy carrels But someone beside them in all ‘just’ to print out his resume, just to has escaped your directions, they’ve lurk on his third-year crush... ” notice. They are taken off their carefully monitor- shoes and pizza delivery is on the way. chat from the previously-empty 4. The Commerce Refugee carrel next to you. They don’t even 2. The in-and-out Guy After so many months in this im- open a textbook to disguise their Ladies, we’ve all known one. He true intention. gained some sense of purpose and started believing in the prospect 6. The Narcoleptics just to lurk on his third-year crush... of a useful career. Just as you are They are the only reason you ever If he decides to stay put and take a getting amped to dissect some con- feel bad for making noise. These stab at productivity, he will imme- tractual agreements, this guy tears diately succumb to severe shock as himself away from his exclusive They’ve done all the readings, are a result of his suddenly immobile computer lab to crack open his ac- state. In a 10-minute period, he will counting textbook beside you and have all their notes colour coded. need to check out a book, return sully your oasis. Salt in the wound: The nap they’re taking beside you - His time will be spent whisper- is well-deserved. LOOKING BACK By: Stephanie Laskoski of you that know me, I imag- In it, I was sitting across the dinner table from Barak ine you might propose that the Obama. We were discussing whose life was harder. I derangement preceded the legal education, but trust me, it’s Obama’s answer, “Yes. Do you?” My answer, “No.” exacerbated here! The moral? Being a law student is harder than being President of the United States. xperience – Truthfully, I Ehave never enjoyed school At the time of that dream, it was taking me three more in my life than I do at hours to read one constitutional law case. Now, as I present. In between panic attacks and general anxiety, head into the twilight of third year, I no longer bother I am reveling all of it. to read any cases at all! Har har, just kidding. But the fact that law school is nearly over has me feeling ear – My ugly little enemy has reared its nasty head on several occasions. Now that I have one list about law school that I made in January of 1L: term under my belt, fear shows up less and less. Still, I am aware that it lurks menacingly in the background, nalysis – Who knew it would be so hard to apply hoping to unsettle me. Athe law to the facts? Not me, that’s for sure, but I was soon to discover that the gift of analysis eludes roup-work – I arrived at law school hoping to me. Of course I am working on it. Along with every- avoid any kind of collaboration with classmates. thing else. Unrealistic? Yes, but my past group experiences in university have shown me that most people don’t hold urnout – It didn’t take long to begin succumbing up their end of the bargain when it comes to partnering Bunder the pressure of endless readings and baf- up; too often, I found myself doing most of the work all but a shell of my former self. Inevitably, I caught that has not happened here, and I suspect it won’t hap- every virus going around. Turns out burnout is a bum- focused people who are motivated to do well. Thus, everyone pulls his or her own weight. Hallelujah!

ases abits – I’ve developed some very good study Cmonths that I’ve lost count. Worse, we’re sup- Hhabits since starting law school. I also acquired posed to remember most of them. I’ve taken to writ- - ing quippy fact patterns in order to jig my memory; sional cigarette, more wine than necessary). But with an eight-pound weight gain in only three months, I led horses off ferry to entice drunken owner to follow managed to turn it around in the last several weeks. I joined a gym and have started packing my lunch each day. Soon I hope to be able to do up my pants, too! eranged Dstate of mind that I experience on a pretty regular basis since beginning my legal education. To many magination – Where did it go? sexy. Still, my study gals and I try ISadly, there seems to be little when the most overused phrase, to make them as exciting as pos- room for one’s imagination in law “billable hours” is being discussed. school. Must free up the brain for We may be forced to write a rap or all of the memorization of vari- driving force behind my decision to something in order to remember ous rules and corresponding cases. become a lawyer. At this time, my the tests. Don’t worry; I won’t Some day, I hope to revive it. In position is that anything above zero share it with you. the meantime, I spend a lot of time works! imagining what it will be like to uestions – There are so many, be a practising lawyer. The fan- icknames – There is a fellow Qand guess what? There are tasy usually involves buying many Nin our class that gives every- no right answers. Normally, this snappy suits. one a nickname; it’s kind of a great would thrill me beyond reason, but honour to be bestowed with one. I in this environment, it’s mostly ealously – Yep, I spend a good was trying to drop hints about how frustrating. All of us are looking to Jpercentage of my time feeling much I’d adored Stevie Nicks as a jealous of others in my section. young girl and that her “real name” for the exam. But no, the answer is Mostly, it’s over grades. There are is Stephanie. He didn’t take the the process, and your conclusion is a handful of extraordinarily smart bait. Instead, I made one comment often irrelevant. about a case we’d just read as be- out jealous of them. I wish I were ing “juicy,” and guess what? You est – There is little to be as talented. There, I admitted it. got it: Juicy was declared my new Rfound. I dream of cases, I nickname. Thankfully, it hasn’t dream of exams and I dream of Did you know that “K” stands stuck. fellow law students constantly. On Kfor contract in law? Neither the one hand, this is great; on the did I! In fact, I read a whole bunch pen – Law school requires other, it’s disconcerting. Every- of case commentaries that used Oa new way of looking at the thing I do is around law school the letter “K” throughout, and had world, and a new way of looking now, and sometimes I can’t believe absolutely no clue what the hell it at yourself. If you can’t be open to this has happened and other times, criticism or other ways of thinking, it seems the most natural outcome. law school will destroy you. The I have an obsessive personality, so aughter – I wish there was one thing I have learned is how to an outlet like this is perfect. Still, I Lmore of it in school. The le- listen to other people and consider worry that I am being formed into gal educational environment is very their ideas without instantly dis- something unrecognizable. serious, and comic relief is lim- ited. I think we should begin each at times, but it is an excellent les- ighs – Oh, there are so many school day with a short video from son. I have also become less of an Seach day in class. Some are interrupter; I used to get overly ex- out of frustration, others out of much needed laughter revolution. cited in a conversation and would relief. It just depends on the day. often cut the person off because I oney – I didn’t want to couldn’t contain my point. ime – There is never enough in Mtalk about money, but Tthe day, and it moves at a pace avoiding the topic seemed worse. erpetuities – This is what that amazes me. Winter has never There is a lot of money talk that Pwe are taking in Property gone faster and each week is re- goes on in law school. Mostly, it’s Law right now, and man, they are used in the context of “when I’m complicated and not particularly never been so structured, yet felt so greatly out of my control. !CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1" rbania By: Tom Posyniak that we visit often in Tort law. U a profoundly obvious observation: Hem- It’s my favourite place because my writing improves the more I do mingway precedent doesn’t exist and jurisdic- it. Holy shit! So deep. was right. tions are limitless. In other words, Longer sen- creative freedom abound! I also But, hear me out. Writing often, tences are use it when trying to illustrate to and not just because you’re forced awkward. my kids that there are limits. I say, They liter- “This isn’t Urbania; there are rules little things that improve. One ally require you need to follow.” They are usu- major thing is transitions. When the reader ally confused by this reference. you keep up the habit of writing, to carry intellectual baggage. Be you start to write as if you were minimalist in your sentences and iolins – I listen to classical speaking. When you speak, conver- your paragraphs and your reader music when I study. It calms sations rarely begin abruptly with will thank you. When your reader me down, big time. I often wish a major redirection, or, if they do, thanks you, you get the A, win the that we could listen to our iPods someone usually has to add the argument, get the bonus and the during exams so I could replicate awkward “changing the subject girl or guy. my study ritual; I think it would - prose can be a beautiful thing. Now that I’ve gotten your atten- cantly. More often than not, we in the tion, I’ll get to the point: writing in law-talkin’ business take short cuts your free time for things like, oh, I ho/What/When/Why – The by simply using headings. That’s don’t know, the Caveat Lector, will questions asked in my head W the organized way to do it. But, if pay big dividends. Find something you’re writing a large piece, tran- you’re passionate about and just there are usually no sensible an- sitioning from paragraph to para- giv’er. If nothing else, putting swers. graph, section to section, introduc- yourself out there and taking a po- tion to body to conclusion can be sition on something will make you ylophone – Isn’t this what the difference between a comfort- everyone uses for an x word? X able read and an uncomfortable you take in papers and memos. one. Of course, don’t eschew head- oga – Has saved my mental ings (don’t eschew anything - that health. I do it each morning Y just sounds awkward and painful). for fun, of course. However, I’m before heading to school, and a day Keep the headings but make sure not articulate enough or obser- without it is a nasty one. While I that you link your ideas. vant enough to name them. The don’t see any great improvements take-home point here is this: Write in my practice, it is my ritual to see Another thing that happens when early, write often and, above all, Rodney Yee each morning and offer you write more is your sentences write for the Caveat. You will be him a sincere “Namaste.” get shorter. Not longer. They get glad you did. shorter, I believe, because you’re P.S.: The Oxford comma is a pre- its – Yes, I am getting them tentious anachronism. It is a dead again. Thanks, stress! Z get to the point. Shorter sentences letter. I refuse to use it. You heard are more persuasive – hands down. me, Kate MacKay. I Want You...

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