The Yellow Wall-Paper
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"I am sitting by the Window in th is Atrocious Nursery." THE YELLO\N \\TALL-PAPER. By Cltarlotte Perkins Stetson. T is very seldom Else, why should it be let so cheaply? that mere ordi And why have stood so long untenanted? nary P""ople like John laughs at me, of course, but one John and myself expects that in marriage. secure ancestral John is practical in the extreme. He hall s for the has no patience with faith, an intense summer. horror of superstition, and he scoffs A colonial man openly at any talk of things not to be felt sion, a hereditary and seen and put down in figures. estate, I would John is a physician, and perltaps - (I say a haunted would not say it to a living soul, of house, and reach the height of romantic course, but this is dead paper and a felicity- but that would be asking too great relief to my mind - ) per/zaps that much of fate! is one reason I do not get well faster. Still I will proudly declare that there is You see he does not believe I am sick! . something queer about it. And what can one do? THE YELLOW WALL-PARER. If a physician of high standing, and I get unreasonably angry with John one's own husband, assures friends and sometimes. I'm sure I never used to be relatives that there is really nothing the so sensitive. I think it is due to this matter with one but temporary nervous nervous condition. depression - a slight hysterical tendency But John says if I feel so, I shall neglect - what is one to do? proper self-control; so I take pains to My brother is also a physician, and control myself-before him, at least, and also of high standing, and he says the that makes me very tired. same thing. • I don't like our room a bit. I wanted So I take phosphates or phosphites one downstairs that opened on the piazza whichever it is, and tonics, and journeys, and had roses all over the window, and and air, and exercise, and am absolutely such pretty old-fashioned chintz hang forbidden to "work" until I am well again. ings! but John would not hear of it. Personally, I disagree with their ideas. He said there was only one window Personally, I believe that congenial and not room for two beds, and no near work, with excitement and change, would room for him if he took another. do me good. He is very careful and loving, and But what is one to do? hardly lets me stir without special direc I did write for a while 111 spite of tion. them; but it does exhaust me a good I have a schedule prescription for each deal-having to be so sly about it, or hour in the day; he takes all care from else meet with heavy opposition. me, and so I feel basely ungrateful not to I sometimes fancy that in my condi value it ·more. tion if I had less opposition and more He said we came here solely on my . society and stimulus - but John says the account, that I was to have perfect rest very worst thing I can do is to think and all the air I could get. "Your ex about my condition, and I confess it ercise depends on your strength, my always makes me feel bad. dear," said he," and your food somewhat So I will let it alone and talk about on your appetite; but air you can ab the house. sorb all the time." So we took the nur The most beautiful place! It is quite sery at the top of the house. alone, standing well back from the road, It is a big, airy room, the whole floor quite three miles from the village. It nearly, with windows that look all ways, makes me think of English places that and air and sunshine galore. It was you read about, for there are hedges and nursery first and then playroom and walls and gates that lock, and lots of gymnasium, I should judge; for the win separate little houses for the gardeners dows are barred for little children, and and people. there are rings and things in the walls. There is a delicious garden! I never The paint and paper look as if a boys' saw such a garden -large and shady, school had used it. It is stripped off full of box-bordered paths, and lined with the paper - in great patches all around long grape-covered arbors with seats under the head of my bed, about as far as I can them. reach, and in a great place on the other There were greenhouses, too, but they side of the room low down. I never saw are all broken now. a worse paper in my life. There was some legal trouble, I be One of those sprawling flamboyant lieve, something about the heirs and co patterns committing every artistic sin. heirs; anyhow, the place has been empty It is dull enough to confuse the eye in for years. following, pronounced enough to con That spoils my ghostliness, I am afraid, stantly irritate and provoke study, and but I don't care - there is something when you follow the lame uncertain strange about the house - I can feel it. curves for a little distance they suddenly I even said so to John one moonlight commit suicide - plunge off at outrage evening, but he said what I felt was a ous angles, destroy themselves in un drauglzt, and shut the window. heard of contradictions. THE YELLOW ·WAL~PAPER. 649 The color is repellant, almost revolt good," he said, "and really, dear, I don't ing ; a smouldering unclean yellow, care to renovate the house just for a strangely faded by the slow-turning sun three months' rental." light. "Then do let us go downstairs," I It is a dull yet lurid orange in some said, "there are such pretty rooms there." places, a sickly sulphur tint in others. Then he took me in his arms and No wonder the children hated it! I called me a blessed little goose, and said should hate it myself if I had to live in he would go down cellar, if I wished, and this room long. have it whitewashed into the bargain. There comes John, and I must put this But he is right enough about the beds away, - he hates to have me write a and windows and things. word. It is an airy and comfortable room as • • • • * • anyone need wish, and, of course, I would We have been here two·weeks, and I not be so silly as to make him uncomfort haven't felt like writing before, since that able just for a whim. first day. I'm really getting quite fond of the I am sitting by the window now, up in big room, all but that horrid paper. this atrocious nursery, and there is noth Out of one window I can see the ing to hinder my writing as much as I garden, those mysterious deep-shaded please, save lack of strength. arbors, the riotous old-fashioned flowers, John is away all day, and even some and bushes and gnarly trees. nights when his cases are serious. Out of another I get a lovely view of I am glad my case is not serious! the bay and a little private wharf be But these nervous troubles are dread longing to the estate. There is a beauti fully depressing. ful shaded lane that runs down there John does not know how much I really from the house. I always fancy I see suffer. He knows there is no reason to people walking in these numerous paths suffer, and that satisfies him. and arbors, but John has cautioned me Ofcourse it is only nervousness. It does not to give way to fancy in the least. He weigh o"n me so not to do my duty in says that with my imaginative power and any way! habit of story-making, a nervous weak I meant to be such a help to John, ness like mine is sure to lead to all man such a real rest and comfort, and here I ner of excited fancies, and that I ought am a comparative burden already! to use my will and good sense to check Nobody would believe what an effort it the tendency. So I try. is to do what little I am able, - to dress I think sometimes that if I were only and entertain, and order things. well enough to write_ a little it would re It is fortunate Mary is so good with lieve the press of ideas and rest me. the baby. Such a dear baby! But I find I get pretty tired when I try. And yet I cannot be with him, it makes It is so discouraging not to have any me so nervous. advice and companionship about my I suppose John never was nervous in work. When I get really well, John says his life. He laughs at me so about this we will ask Cousin Henry and Julia down wall-paper! for a long visit; but he says he would as At first he meant to repaper the room, soon put fireworks in my pillow-case as to but afterwards he said that I was letting let me have those stimulating people it get the better of me, and that nothing about now.