Inside this issue

Making one call Catholic Charities Bringing song 5 at a time for the ACA 7 and businesses feed the hungry 17 to bishop’s online Mass

ON THE COVER | CONTENTS More than 8,000 4 EXPANDED TUITION ASSISTANCE 16 A PLACE TO PRAY, WORK AND PLAY students in the 26 Foundations in Education St. Matthew Parish Life Center diocesan schools 6 FATHER EDICSON NAMED PASTOR 22 WISDOM OF THE DESERT FATHERS throughout Fairfield Parish of St. Joseph and St. Ladislaus Father Philip Bochanski’s new book County will return 9 DIOCESE MOURNS LOSS 23-25 OBITUARIES to in-person classes Recent passing of five priests Beloved priests pass away in September. 14 STUCK INSIDE WITH MEMORIES 34 DEACON TIM BOLTON Photo by Theresa Sciallo Dr. Patrick Donovan Helping patients find God in pandemic 2 August 2020 Commencements Celebrated safely amidst pandemic

By ELIZABETH CLYONS achieved a 100 percent college graduating eighth grade class. acceptance rate, with 99 percent Featured commencement speakers FAIRFIELD COUNTY—The going on to four-year schools, were Clara and Gerry Davis, par- coronavirus pandemic has posed and earned for themselves over 25 ents of a graduating student and unique challenges for all. For the million dollars in scholarships and Stanley Steele, school principal. Class of 2020, this meant not get- tuition assistance. The event included a Mass cele- ting to enjoy the usual rites of pas- The Blessing and Conferral of brated in the church parking lot sage as they reached the culmina- Diplomas was held at Dalling Field and homily offered by Our Lady tion of their either middle or high on the school’s campus. Parents of Fatima Church pastor, Father school years. Schools throughout were confined to their cars, while Reginald Norman. the diocese found innovative ways the graduates were socially dis- The graduates will attend to still celebrate their students— tanced in masks on the lower field, the following high schools in through social distanced gradua- in conformance with the CDC and the fall (listed alphabetically): tion ceremonies, giving students State of Connecticut guidelines. Fairfield College Preparatory the opportunity to take pictures During the ceremony, pre-recorded School, Immaculate High School- with their family on campus, and videos from Ms. Vicki A. Tesoro, Danbury, Lauralton Hall-Milford, more. Here are just a few snap- first selectman of the Town of New Canaan High School, shots of graduation ceremonies in Trumbull and Mr. Christopher Norwalk High School, Notre a pandemic. St. Rose of Lima NEWTOWN—St. Rose School’s eighth-grade graduation ceremony took place on Friday, June 26 in the school parking lot. Mr. Gjoka, principal, Mrs. Petrillo, eighth-grade homeroom teacher, Mrs. Bokuniewicz, dean of student life and Msgr. Bob, pas-

tor, along with the class parents, Wilson, chairman of the board of Dame High School-Fairfield, worked very hard to make the St. Joseph High School, offered Saint Joseph High School- celebration possible despite these their congratulations and best wish- Trumbull and Wilton High different times. es to the Class of 2020. School. Chairs were arranged alphabet- Your graduation is not like any Sacred Heart, Greenwich ically for every student and their other. But then the Class of 2020 GREENWICH—Sacred parents. The ceremony was limit- is unlike any other,” remarked Heart, Greenwich graduated 82 ed to parents and siblings only to recently retired head of school, young women on June 5, 2020. adhere to safety measures. Every Dr. William Fitzgerald during his “Whether in the classroom, on the student and guest wore a mask. speech. “Ironically, in February, turf, in the chapel, at the anchor There are 24 graduates, all we were talking about how to get desk, in the lab or behind the going off to a variety of high the iPhones out of your hands. podium, the graduating Class of schools including Newtown Today, we are looking to you— 2020 accomplished so much at High School, Immaculate the social media generation—to Sacred Heart Greenwich,” says High School, St. Joseph High understand what continuous learn- Pamela Juan Hayes, Sacred Heart School, Canterbury, Fairfield ing is all about. This spring has Greenwich alum, Class of ’64. Prep, Hopkins School and The showed us, that in many ways, “We’re especially proud to see Gunnery. Several of the students this is already your world and we these talented students matriculate received merit scholarships based are just catching up.” to strong colleges and universities on their entrance test scores. Our Lady of Fatima that reflect their individual aca- St. Joseph High School Catholic Academy demic interests and passions so TRUMBULL—St. Joseph WILTON—On Friday eve- closely. We look forward to see- High School conferred diplomas ning, June 12, 2020, Our Lady of ing how far their academics, faith upon 213 students on Saturday, Fatima Catholic Academy held and commitment to others takes July 11, 2020. The Class of 2020 commencement exercises for its them in the future.” n 3 August 2020 Diocesan Schools Celebrated safely amidst pandemic Diocese releases re-opening plan

By BRIAN D. WALLACE to a more robust distance learning plan. Additionally, the groups BRIDGEPORT—Students in worked on the creation of a hybrid Catholic schools throughout the model for students who either can diocese will return to the classroom not immediately return to school for in-person learning this Fall, in the Fall or who may have to according to Dr. Steven Cheeseman, learn at home temporarily at some Superintendent of Schools. point in the year. Dr. Cheeseman made the Dr. Cheeseman said the schools announcement in a re-opening office will modify as necessary and plan released to parents, students we worked diligently to finalize this as it is updated, the new version will and faculty on Thursday, July 9. document. These guidelines were be posted on the schools’ website. Dr. Cheeseman said that since created with every student, parent, (To read the schools reopening plan announcing the plan diocesan faculty and staff member in mind. visit www.dioceseofbridgeportcatholicschools. schools have seen an increase It is expected that these guidelines com/coronavirus-reopening-plan.) n in applications with new people will need to adjust as time goes by moving into the area and concerns and conditions change,” he said, of about the ability of public schools the 14-page document. Elements of the Schools to re-open in the Fall. Dr. Cheeseman said the plan re-opening plan The plan calls for the entire recognizes the need for students network of schools, Pre-K through to attend school in-person to the • Catholic schools will follow grade 12, to resume in-person degree that health conditions allow. the state and CDC guide- classes, five days a week based “As such, we have developed lines to limit the spread of on all the public health and safety plans to increase the safety of every- the coronavirus and keep the guidelines issued by the CDC and one in our schools by changing how school community safe the State of Connecticut. we use our space and implementing • In order to accommodate Dr. Cheeseman said that new practices that allow for per- social distancing require- barring a resurgence of the virus sonalized learning during times of ments, most of the furniture or a change in state policy, the pandemic,” he said. and materials have been schools are preparing to welcome Distance learning will still be removed from the classroom more than 8,000 students in its a component at the local Catholic • Students will be guided by sig- 25 school buildings throughout schools, as well as a contingen- nage and markers on the floor Fairfield County. cy plan for closing one or more • Freestanding hand sanitizers “As we wait with great antic- buildings if infection rates rise, will be placed throughout the ipation to see how this pandemic but in-person education will be school will play itself out over the next the mainstay in most cases. • Lunches will be served as few months, we are left with many Every Catholic school with- desks or students will brown- unanswered questions. What is in the diocese has considered bag it at their desks abundantly clear, however, is that the new guidelines and will be • Grades will be organized into our students need to return to the expected to implement them “cohorts” to reduce exposure classroom in the Fall.“ based on feasibility, limitations between different school The theme of the plan is “We of their setting, and student and groups within the buildings face it together,” and the docu- teacher needs, he said. • Classroom windows will be ment focuses on faith, academics, The schools are also fully open where possible and fans community and empowerment. It prepared to resume Distance will be in use covers a wide range of topics relat- Learning if necessary and have • Classrooms will be sanitized ed to returning to school including developed a contingency plan for daily the use of face coverings, physical closing one or more buildings if • Through an association with distancing, sudden closures if nec- infection rates rise. However, Dr. “My Catholic Doctor,” each essary, temporary home instruc- Cheeseman believes that in-per- school will provide a telemedi- tion, and resources for students, son education will be the main- cine service that allows school parents, faculty and staff. stay in most cases. staff, students and parents to “As we look toward the In May, we created a pre- speak with a medical profes- 2020–2021 school year, we face school and a K-12 task force sional during school hours obvious challenges as a result of group of school and diocesan • Each school will designate the COVID-19 pandemic. The teachers and leaders who, a “wellness room,” where a re-opening document contains informed by parent and teacher student can be temporarily some of the guidelines that we will focus groups and interviews, have isolated if he or she displays follow so that, working together, created a plan to ensure that our symptoms, should a student we can meet those challenges,” schools are prepared to welcome display symptoms of a fever, said Dr. Cheeseman. students back in the Fall. cold or infection. In addition to the printed plan, The task force had as its pri- • A social worker will be avail- which can be downloaded online, mary focus the safe return of stu- able to meet the social and emo- the superintendent also sent a video dents to a full five-day schedule tional needs of our students message to parents and members of of in-person instruction, while • Volunteers and visitors will the school community. also planning for the possibility of be restricted from entering the “We appreciate your patience as having to make a fluid transition building 4 August 2020 Foundations in Education COVID-19 tuition assistance

BRIDGEPORT—The COVID- announcing the fund, Foundations 19 pandemic is impacting virtually in Education received over 100 every area of life for so many. In applications for tuition relief assis- response, an anonymous donor tance. to Foundations in Education has “Things are moving fast, but provided funding for COVID-19 we want to be able to respond Emergency Tuition Assistance for quickly so our families can make elementary school families in the their decision to keep their chil- Diocese of Bridgeport Catholic dren in our Catholic Schools, Schools who are suffering from the which we believe will provide negative economic impact of the students the stability, support and pandemic. guidance they need to navigate This incredibly prescient and these unprecedented times,” Holly generous gift is a welcomed further commented. and much needed addition to Applications to the COVID-19 Foundations in Education, “This gift is truly an answer to Emergency Tuition Assistance which has already awarded over our prayers. Many of our families Fund will be accepted until all $2.3 million from the Bishop’s applied for assistance before the funds are awarded. Details about Scholarship Fund in tuition assis- pandemic even hit. Imagine the the program and how to apply tance for the coming school year. elevated need resulting from the may be found on the Foundations Foundations in Education is economic consequences facing our in Education website: www. now accepting applications to the families because of business clo- foundationsineducation.org/bish- COVID-19 Emergency Tuition sures and the necessary state shut ops-scholarship-fund. Assistance Fund. Families of down. We pray that this assistance Individuals or organizations K-8 students who have experi- is enough to help ease the burden interested in donating to this fund enced loss of job, loss of income, for our families and help keep may do so on the Foundations COVID related medical costs, their children in school,” com- in Education website at www. or other unanticipated finan- mented Holly Doherty-Lemoine, foundationsineducation.org/ cial hardship resulting from the executive director of Foundations donate, or by contacting Megan COVID-19 pandemic are eligible in Education. Quinn, Assistant Director of to apply. Within the first week of Development at 203.416.1671. n

Now more than ever the Annual Catholic Appeal allows us to continue the mission of the Church and provide for those in need. Since the COVID-19 pandemic began the Annual Catholic Appeal supports: · Catholic Charities serving twice the amount of nutritious meals each day at our soup kitchens and other non-profit programs and homeless shelters, serving over 1.3 million meals annually · Meeting the demand for increased counseling services · Providing tuition assistance through the Bishop’s Scholarship Fund to 1,450 students in need · Celebration of Mass and liturgies online · Hospital Chaplains and deacons on the frontlines Please help us meet the need!

MAKE A GIFT TODAY TO THE EMERGENCY APPEAL www.2020ACAbridgeport.com or call 203-416-1479 5 August 2020 Foundations in Education Annual Catholic Appeal COVID-19 tuition assistance Retired executive reaches out to faithful, one phone call at a time

By JOE PISANI from a list he has been given by schools, and the work the priests the Development Office. Since he do,” he says. After retiring as director of began, he has made more than People are encouraged by his sales and marketing for Eli Lilly 1,000 calls. phone calls and often write down and Company 15 years ago, “I call up folks on the list and the information about the services. Ford Lynch walked into the tell them, ‘This is a ‘thank you’ They are also grateful for the rec- Catholic Center of the Diocese of call for your support and to let ognition and to know the Church

Bridgeport looking for work...and you know that during the pandem- cares about them during this crisis. he got it. Plenty of it. ic, the diocese is continuing all Others ask if he has any informa- “I was looking for some way its programs,’” he said. “I call to tion about when things will return to give back, so I went to see the thank them and tell them to stay to normal in their churches. And head of development and asked, healthy.” still others share stories of their ‘Do you need any help? I’ll do The calls are not only thank personal hardship. whatever you want.’” you calls, but wellness calls. He “I hear all kinds of stories. Lynch, a parishioner at St. asks parishioners how they are Some say, ‘My business is falling Luke Church in Westport, has doing in the crisis and updates apart. Or I’ve been furloughed. Or generously volunteered his them on how the diocese is I’m going to lose my job. Or I’m services and done everything continuing its programs, such afraid what will happen to me in from working at the Thomas as online Masses, nutrition ser- the future,’” Lynch said. “We are Merton Center to helping at the vices providing increased meals, facing something that has never Catherine Dennis Keefe Queen of distance learning and children been seen in 100 years.” the Clergy Residence for retired continuing their schooling, hospi- Lynch, a native of Cambridge, priests. He has assisted pastors tal chaplains with patients where Massachusetts, graduated from with the Annual Catholic Appeal families were unable to see their the College of Pharmacy at and delivered materials through- relatives, and faith and sacramen- Northeastern University, before out Fairfield County to the many tal programs. starting his career at Eli Lilly, charitable organizations the dio- Many of the people he reach- the pharmaceutical company. He cese supports. es out to have questions. Some has been a committed lifelong “I do whatever I can,” says even share the struggles they Catholic. Lynch. “I deliver things to are facing during the pandemic, “I have always gone to churches, driving around picking so Lynch reminds them of the church...always, always, always stuff up. Nothing is too big; noth- services the diocese provides and and still do now,” he said. “I felt ing is too small.” urges them to look on the web- this was an opportunity to help the His latest project, which began site and not hesitate to seek help Church and other people. Then, several weeks ago, is a simple, yet themselves. once I got into it and saw how the powerful initiative on the part of “I want to thank them, but also contributions were spent helping the diocese to express its gratitude remind them that we are here for people in Fairfield County, it for- to the many people who have them,” Lynch said. tified my belief that it was worth donated to the annual appeal. “I can guarantee them their my time to be doing this.” Lynch sits at his desk at his money has been well-spent since (For information about the services home in Westport several days I have seen it firsthand, from the the Diocese of Bridgeport offers, visit a week and calls parishioners soup kitchens to the Blue Ribbon www.bridgeportdiocese.org.) n 6 August 2020 Parish News Father Edicson named pastor of St. Joseph and St. Ladislaus

By JOE PISANI instead of working as two separate assisting Father Orozco as he pre- communities, we will be working pares to assume his new pastorship NORWALK—When Father as one. The purpose of this merger on October 1. Edicson Orozco was named pas- is to make the church stronger for Father Orozco is from tor of St. Charles Borromeo Parish the future, not just for the present. Colombia, where he began his in Bridgeport in 2009, he faced One of the things I want to let seminary formation before com- many challenges. The church on people know is that no changes ing to the Diocese of Bridgeport the East Side of Bridgeport was will be made to damage or destroy in 1996. He spent a year at St. confronting the likelihood of clos- what has been done. They will John Fisher Seminary and was ing, there were financial problems, be done to make it better. People ordained in 1999 by then-Bishop and the buildings needed serious have to give me the chance to Edward Egan. Before becoming repair. The church, he says, “was work with them even though this pastor of St. Charles Borromeo, in very bad shape.” is something new.” he served as parochial vicar at St. But by working with the Both parishes combined Mary Parish in Stamford and St. Brazilian, Haitian, Spanish and will have Spanish and English- Peter Parish in Bridgeport. He English-speaking communities of speaking communities and received his master’s degree in the parish, things turned around. Haitians, Father said. mental health and counseling from the University of Bridgeport in 2014 and worked as a counselor at LifeBridge Community Services in Bridgeport. Since 2017, he has been parochial vicar at Our Lady of Gaudalupe Parish in Danbury. St. Ladislaus was founded to serve the Hungarian community that came to America and settled in South Norwalk around 1900. The cornerstone of the church was laid on Nov. 25, 1909 and Masses were celebrated in the church basement a year later. The church, built in the Romanesque Revival With parishioners working “It is a blessing to have two style by Hungarian architect Odon together, the church survived and churches; their buildings will be Lechner, was dedicated on June started to revive. During his six used to provide pastoral services 30, 1912. years as pastor of one of the most and education,” he said. “It In 1895, St. Joseph was found- historic churches in the Diocese is going to be one community ed to serve the southern portion of of Bridgeport, he enlarged the using two churches because in no Saint Mary Parish. Masses were parking lot, repaired the roof and respect will it be one taking over initially celebrated at the Music bell tower, installed chimes and the other. We are bringing them Hall on South Main Street. On returned the tabernacle to the together. I know that some people April 4, 1897, the cornerstone was center of the sanctuary. He also are afraid to face changes, but laid for the church, built in the united the different communities eventually those changes will be Gothic revival style and designed of the parish in a common cause. beneficial for everyone.” by architect Joseph A. Jackson. Today, St. Charles is one of the In his letter to parishioners, Father Orozco expressed his most vibrant, culturally diverse announcing Father Orozco’s gratitude to Bishop Caggiano parishes in the diocese. appointment, Bishop Frank J. and the Council of Deans for “We did an excellent job, and Caggiano said, “I am confident his appointment, along with his all of us worked hard,” he recalls. that Father Orozco, with your hope that the churches will serve “Even though we had a big debt, collaboration and support, will the growing community of South we brought it down and were able carry the new parish forward with Norwalk. to do many things.” his calm leadership, his dedica- “All the pastoral services that As the recently appointed pas- tion and his holy example. You we offer will bring us closer to tor of St. Joseph and St. Ladislaus will find him to be a true spiritual God and be a beacon of light in parishes in Norwalk, which are father, who seeks only to serve and the South Norwalk area,” he said. soon to be merged, his new job to bring others closer to Christ. “A lot of people are moving into will have challenges along with Although he will be greatly missed the area, and we can show them opportunities. at Our Lady of Guadalupe, I know that following Jesus is to be one, “We are not just talking about he will find a warm welcome at St. just as he asked the Father to merging, we are talking about Joseph and St. Ladislaus and be make us one in John’s Gospel. bringing together two beautiful loved there as he has been in his We will see how things go with communities that have been under other assignments.” the help of God, the protection the direction of two beautiful Bishop Caggiano also expressed of Our Lady, St. Joseph and St. priests who have done a great his gratitude to Father Peter Lenox Ladislaus because we have them job,” Father Orozco said. “But and Father Juan Gabriel Acosta for working for us.” n 7 August 2020 Catholic Charities Partnering to feed the hungry

By KATHY ANN GOBIN

DANBURY—Dozens of hot meals were distributed to families in Danbury through a collabora- tive effort by Catholic Charities and two local business owners. “These meals are a lifeline for a lot of families,” said St. Peter Pastor Father Gregg Mecca. “It stretches a family’s budget a little farther and they get a substantial meal.” About 100 families were contacted by the parish and indi- vidual meals were prepared by the Amber Room Colonnade, a cater- ing venue on Stacey Road. “We are thankful to be a part of this and grateful to be able to do it,” said Douglas Polistena, cial meaning because St. Peter’s “This was a collaboration from who worked at the Amber Room was such a great part of my life,” a lot of parties coming together,” for 12 years before becoming an said Polistena, a graduate from St. said Polistena, who, like many owner in 2018. “It’s so important Peter School. others, has had to reinvent his to give back.” Families in cars stopped by, business model to survive during The meals were made possible others walked, and parish volun- the pandemic. He says he expects by the private donation of a local teers picked up meals to deliver his business to continue with this business owner who read that them to members of the communi- added function even when the the Amber Room Colonnade is ty who are homebound. coronavirus crises is but a distant keeping some employees working Catholic Charities also memory. by accepting donations from busi- dropped off meals at the Brazilian “It’s a win-win all around,” nesses and non-profit organiza- Community Center on Liberty Donoghue said. “People in the tions to prepare individual meals Street to help serve members of community who are struggling at for distribution to people who are Our Lady of Aparecida the Quasi- this time can have a hot meal and struggling due to the pandemic. Parish officially recognized by it keeps the Amber Room employ- Catholic Charities is an import- Bishop Frank J. Caggiano, earlier ees working during this difficult ant organization to the donor, so this year. time.” n Polistena reached out to the orga- nization and Catholic Charities reached out to Father Mecca to Dorothy Day House identify families that would benefit from having a free hot meal. “It’s only one day but it is a Donation drive helps good way to provide a hot meal to a number of families in need,” RIDGEFIELD—Recently, Lukas Dapkus, a young adult parish- said Mike Donoghue, executive ioner of St. Mary’s in Ridgefield was inspired to collect much-need- director, Catholic Charities of ed items for those who depend on the Dorothy Day Hospitality Fairfield County. House in Danbury. Polistena not only works with In addition to feeding the hungry, hospitality shelters such as his staff to prepare the meals, which Dorothy Day House provide personal hygiene supplies to those on this day, included chicken fran- in need. Following the coronavirus outbreak, the Dorothy Day cese with rice, a vegetable and a House was forced to close and the nearly 100 people per day side salad, but he also takes the time that depend on the Dorothy Day House experienced shortages of to personally deliver them to those hygiene supplies. in need. Earlier in the day he deliv- On Saturday, June 27, Lukas and St. Mary’s in Ridgefield held ered meals to homeless members of a donation drop-off to collect much needed items to benefit the the community who are temporarily Dorothy Day Hospitality House. staying at a local motel. From 10 am to noon, cars came through the St. Mary School Despite thunder, lightning parking lot with donations such as travel size shampoo, condition- and a downpour of rain, volun- er, toothpaste and soap, disposable toothbrushes and razors. teers from Catholic Charities, the The donation drive was a great success! Catholic Charities Morning Glory The Dorothy Day Hospitality House has been feeding the hun- program and Polistena, happily gry and sheltering the homeless in the Danbury CT area since 1982 distributed meals on Wednesday and is based on the Houses of Hospitality founded by Dorothy Day (July 22) from the Morning Glory during the Great Depression. Dorothy Day Hospitality House serves van parked in the St. Peter church 60-80 hot meals each afternoon and provides shelter to 16 people parking lot. each night. The house is located on 11 Spring Street in Danbury. “For me this has an extra spe- (For more information visit: dorothydaydanbury.org.) n 8 August 2020 Parish News St. Catherine/St. Agnes holds Neighbor-to-Neighbor food drive

RIVERSIDE—Due to the huge and growing need, the Social Justice Committee of the Parish of St. Catherine of Siena and St. Agnes is continuing to help Neighbor-to-Neighbor by collect- ing food and other living essentials in a no contact format. Until further notice, there will be a car or SUV with an open trunk in the parking lot across from St. Catherine’s church on Tuesdays from 9-11 am. Please drop your bagged grocery donations in the trunk, and we will take them to Neighbor-to- Neighbor. The committee delivered five trunks and back seats full of much-needed items. Neighbor-to-Neighbor delivers to 700 households each week. Food items needed: peanut butter and jelly, oatmeal, canned meats (chicken, chili, Vienna sau- sages, Chef Boyardi ravioli) tuna, Non-food items needed: towels, sanitary products, cleaning canned fruit, black or red kidney (which cannot be purchased with products, etc. beans (dried or canned), cereal, food stamps): brown paper grocery (For more information visit www. rice, soup bags, toiletries, toilet paper, paper stc-sta.org.) n St. Peter’s youth come together to worship and give back

By ELIZABETH CLYONS wiches for Dorothy Day House, be present, and some are involved in DANBURY—Even during this and on Sundays to help with regis- the liturgy as lectors and ushers. difficult time, teens at St. Peter tration for next year’s classes. “A special thank you to the Church in Danbury have found “Even in a pandemic, we can parents for putting their trust in ways to safely come together for all still lend a helping hand!” says the Lord and bringing their chil- worship and to give back to their Mike Falbo, director of youth dren back to the church, allowing

community. ministry at St. Peter Church. the teens to receive Christ present Teens who are a part of St. Every other week, some of St. in the Eucharist. As well as a spe- Peter’s school leadership program Peter’s high school and middle school cial thank you to Father Mecca for (CREW) have been volunteering teens participate in a private Mass just taking time out of his Sunday to on Thursdays to help make sand- for them. Twenty teens are allowed to be with us!” Falbo says. n 9 August 2020 Faithful mourn Recent passing of five priests

By JOE PISANI who died on March 13 in Spain. church during his funeral at St. Vickey Hickey, administrator of Peter’s and said he was buried in a In less than a week, two the Catherine Dennis Keefe Queen simple Trappist casket, a plain box beloved priests who served at St. of Clergy Residence in Stamford, with no lining and a cross on top Peter Church in Danbury died, who has known many retired priests of it. She she cried when she read leaving a faith community in in her 20 years at the facility said, the online guest book from Jowdy shock and mourning. The loss of “You never know half the things Kane Funeral Home, where people Father Bernardo Rodriguez and they accomplished in their mission recalled the lifelong impact he had Father Paul Merry, who were until you read their obituary and say on them. known for their compassion and to yourself, ‘Oh my goodness, I had One friend wrote, “I could go love of Christ, created a void in the no idea he did all that.’” on and on with stories of his acts of church that will be difficult to fill. She recalled Father Balint as a kindness toward others as my parish- “We were devastated by the “silent do-gooder” who had many ioners could do as well. Though he news,” Father Gregg Mecca, pas- friends at St. Ladislaus Church in was a man of small stature, he was tor, said. “It was really a one-two Norwalk, where he was resident a ‘giant’ with a big heart with those punch for us. Everybody loved priest for almost 40 years. He coor- who came in contact with him. It Father Merry, who was such a dinated the Hungarian Ministry never ceases to amaze me how one gentle, sweet guy, and no matter and celebrated Mass in Hungarian life can have such a positive effect on what he was going through, no there and at St. Emery Church in so many other lives.” matter how much pain he had, Fairfield. Father Rodriguez, who was he was always smiling. And the “He was very special because born in Catalonia, Spain, studied death of Father Bernardo was he was very humble and loved for the priesthood in Barcelona a total shock to everybody. He being a priest,” she recalled. and was ordained in 1980. He embraced our Hispanic communi- “Every time he went into the worked in prison ministry in Spain, ty, who loved him and had a close hospital, his friend Bob would Panama City and Connecticut. friendship with him.” call and the priests here would “Father Bernardo’s ministry Father Merry, 73, was a priest pray for him. I would send him was varied and demonstrated his in residence at St. Peter and chap- cards signed, ‘Your Brothers at care for the least of our sisters lain at Saint John Paul II Center Queen of Clergy’ so he would and brothers,” Father Mecca for Health Care in Danbury, and know that people were thinking said. “He left parish ministry to Father Rodriguez, 66, was paro- about him. Sometimes I sent him minister for a while to migrant chial vicar. a Valentine’s card just so he felt he workers, hospital patients and once “Father Bernardo helped knit was not forgotten.” again, inmates for many years at the Hispanic community togeth- She recalled his work as the Bridgeport Correctional Facility er,” Father Mecca said. “Before coordinator of Catholic Boy Scouts and Garner Prison. He was quickly him, we didn’t have someone here in the Norwalk-Ridgefield area. A embraced by our Hispanic parish- full-time. He was a true shepherd former Eagle Scout, he was council ioners. He elevated the celebra- with them every week, and they chaplain for the Pomperaug Council tion of the liturgy and brought came to him for confession and of the Scouts and received many to it excellent preaching...Father counseling. For the first time, they honors and awards for his service to Bernardo went where there was had a real shepherd and they loved the Connecticut Yankee Council. human need and brought God’s him and embraced him. We lost Hickey also knew Father Merry love and living-giving Word.” him all too soon. well and says, “His last name In recent years, he suffered from “Everybody loved Father described him perfectly, and when poor health and in April contracted Merry,” Father Mecca said. he talked to you, he would look COVID-19 and was hospitalized. “People knew he was sick and you right in the eye, and you were Father Mecca said that after that he was fighting cancer, but his the most important person in his Father Rodriguez’ passing, his sis- death still came as a big shock.” life. He didn’t look behind you, he ter requested that his cremains be As the pandemic first took hold didn’t look over you, he gave you returned to Spain, but she changed in Fairfield County, the diocese all the time you needed.” her mind and wrote through her lost its beloved “priest brothers,” Hickey’s aunt was a resident at son that Father chose the United Msgr. Roger J. Watts and Canon Saint John Paul II Health Center, States as his country and “Let him Albert W. Watts who died within where Father Merry was chaplain. be buried there.” two weeks of each other at the end “The residents called him ‘The “He will be buried at the Priest’s of April and beginning of May. Mayor’ of the center,” she said. “He Circle at St. Peter’s Cemetery in (The full obituary for the brothers, was just so wonderful. He would Danbury, where he would want to who were ordained together on say Mass and walk around talking be,” Father Mecca said. June 5, 1959, was published in to people. On the days I couldn’t Father Verrilli was remembered the May issue of Fairfield County go to see my aunt, I would call him by Bishop Frank J. Caggiano Catholic.) and ask if he could visit her and for “his commitment to lifetime In recent months, the Diocese cheer her up and he would.” learning and faithful service as an of Bridgeport also lost Father She said, “He was a very hum- educator and a judge in the dioce- Stephen J. Balint, 81, Father ble man who touched so many san Tribunal. A Bridgeport native, William Verrilli, 68, and Father people. You didn’t even have he attended Blessed Sacrament Jose A. Fernandez, founder to talk to him. Just his presence School and Madison School and and first pastor of Our Lady of showed you his love.” graduated from Fairfield College Guadalupe Parish in Danbury, She stood at the back of the ➤ continued on page 27 10 August 2020 Sr. Melinda Pellerin ‘We are at a crossroads’

By ELIZABETH CLYONS knowledge, effective communica- Sister Pellerin stressed the tion is not possible. “That is why importance of our Church leaders BRIDGEPORT—The first I encourage you to all engage in calling out racism from the pulpit. of several webinars being hosted these webinars. That is why we At the closing of the webinar, by The Leadership Institute, the are all here today.” Dr. Patrick Donovan, director of diocesan Ad Hoc Committee Sister said that meeting our The Leadership Institute encour- Against Racism and the neighbor at the Well requires call- aged listeners to visit the Institute Apostolate for Black Catholics, ing out racism for what it is—a website for resources and record- titled “Conversations About Race” sin. “Like the Samaritan woman, ings of each webinar. kicked-off Thursday featuring Sr. we unburden ourselves enough to The webinar series, produced Melinda Pellerin. begin to understand each other. by the diocesan Leadership “We are at a crossroads in this We need to understand how deep- Institute, features talks by teach- nation,” said Sr. Pellerin, “the ly seeded systemic and structural ers and pastoral ministers and choice of which path we take is will run through September 3. ours. Where are we to go? As peo- The talks will be live-streamed ple of faith we need to rely on the at 1 pm each Thursday and then Word of God.” rebroadcast at 7 pm each evening, Sister explained that, as with a question and answer ses- Catholics, the foundation of every- sions moderated by a member of thing we do is Scripture. Much the diocesan ad hoc committee of Sister’s webinar was centered against racism. around the story of the Samaritan About Sister Melinda: Sister Woman at the Well in the Gospel Melinda Adrienne Pellerin took of John. She explained how at the her final vows of chastity, poverty time of Jesus many racial groups and obedience Oct. 13 as a Sister held preconceived notions about of St. Joseph of Springfield after each other—therefore, Jesus’ 10 years of discernment and for- conversation with the Samaritan mation during which her varied woman shows just how much ministries included working with Jesus was willing to go to the racism is. The Church must ask children in a day care in Kansas, peripheries. “John’s theme in the how does racism play a part in the starting a sewing program at a gospel is the foreigner, the outcast, great divide, in the median income sober living house in Chicago and the poor,” in two communities.” directing the SSJ’s Homework Sister said. “Jesus enters into During the Q&A session fol- House in Holyoke. relationship with an outsider, a lowing the webinar, a listener She was baptized at St. woman, a member of a minori- asked what to say when an indi- Michael’s Cathedral in Springfield ty group. This is our teachable vidual gives the response “All and attended the former Holy moment. He sees this woman’s Lives Matter” to the statement Family Parish and School and the worth, there is no hesitation in his “Black Lives Matter.” Sister former Notre Dame High School. love for her humanity.” responded, “If we really practiced She earned a degree in history and Sister Pellerin did not hesitate ‘All Lives’ we wouldn’t be in the secondary education at Annhurst to call out injustice. “Our black state we are today.” She followed College in Woodstock, Conn., and brothers and sisters have been up her statement saying, “we a master’s degree in educational persecuted in this country for over must all be willing to confront the technology from Lesley College. 400 years,” she said. “This is the hatred. The Church must speak A retired public school African American legacy in the out. Our Pope calls the struggle teacher, Sr. Melinda taught in United States. We need to enter to end racism a pro-life issue, and Massachusetts at the middle and into the conversion honestly and that’s indeed what it is.” high school levels. She taught speak out about race. We must be When asked what one’s next the International Baccalaureate willing to engage. To meet one steps should be, Sister said, Program at Springfield’s High another where we are, to create “You must act for social justice. School of Commerce and crim- our ‘Well’ experience.” Transformation is a powerful thing. inal justice at the Roger L. Sister stressed the importance The Samaritan woman got up, Putnam Vocational Technical of learning to see our neighbor as went into town, and she preached.” Academy. She also coached a ourselves. “Engaging in dialogue Sister implored listeners to read mock trial team that was the is never easy,” she acknowledged. and learn from the perspective of first inner city team to go all the As a member of the Sisters of people of color. “Your courage way to finals in Boston, and in St. Joseph, Sister Pellerin has a may cause you pain,” she said. 2004 she was the Massachusetts focus on right relationship with “You may lose friends. Pray for Teacher of the Year. others. “We need to see the life those who may try to use your (To register to join the in another person and realize that commitment to racial justice as “Conversation About Race,” visit their life matters just as much as a weapon against you. We must the Leadership Institute: www. our life matters.” unconditionally stand for our formationreimagined.org. To view “How do we move towards brothers and sisters.” all of the resources and information love of our neighbor?” Sister Bishop Frank J. Caggiano posed about joining the conversation: www. asked. “We must engage.” She the question, “where is the face of formationreimagined.org/conversa- explained that without proper racism in our own Church?” tions-about-race-main.) n 11 August 2020 We Stand With Christ Parishioner makes music of ‘We Stand With Christ’

By JOE PISANI Stand With Christ campaign of order to communicate the mes- the diocese. sage entrusted to her by Christ, TRUMBULL—When Anna “We are incredibly grateful to the Church needs art. Art must Bendiksen was a teenager grow- Anna for offering her hymn and make perceptible, and as far as ing up in Rochester, her dream reflection about our campaign. possible attractive, the world of was to be an opera singer, so It highlights our central theme the spirit, of the invisible, of God. she began formal voice training, of standing with our neighbors,” It must therefore translate into along with her studies in Russian. Robert O’Brien, capital campaign meaningful terms that which is in As she tells the story, her voice director said. “We Stand With itself ineffable.” instructor discreetly suggested she Christ is more than just a capital Nestled among her creations,

stick with Russian. campaign. It’s been an opportu- she also keeps “The Prayer of She did and eventually earned nity to personally reflect on our a Christian Writer,” which she degrees from Bryn Mawr College roles as the hands and feet of wrote, and before starting a new and Yale University in Slavic lan- Christ in our communities.” project, she always remembers to guages and literature. Patricia Hansen, director of pray it: Anna, who grew up singing development operations, said, and playing the piano, is a writer, “We are encouraging parishes “Lord Jesus Christ, Incarnate poet, and author of hymn texts. still running the campaign to play Word, A convert to Catholicism from Anna’s hymn at Mass or at any I do not ask for influence, riches Anglicanism, she is a member future campaign receptions.” or fame. of the Parish of St. Catherine of “To me, it is all about joy,” she I ask to be a vessel of Your grace, Siena in Trumbull. Since she was said. “We are an Easter people to love as Your Sacred Heart received into full communion and our song is ‘Alleluia.’ But loves, with the Catholic Church at the we are also a Christmas people and to be known by You, my 2019 Easter Vigil, she has written and our song is ‘Peace on Earth, truest friend. several dozen hymns set to tradi- good will to all.’ I want to bring Help me to proclaim Your truth tional melodies. One of her most Christmas to the lives of other courageously, recent is titled “We Stand With people, and peace is not really Your goodness kindly, Christ,” in recognition of the peace if it is not combined with and Your beauty selflessly, Diocese of Bridgeport’s capital God’s justice.” that bearing with cheer the taunts campaign. She doesn’t write the music to of the world, “I was just taken with the her compositions because by her I might serve as witness phrase, ‘We stand with Christ,’ own admission, “I am a horrible to Your life, death and it sounded to me like the title composer.” Instead, she borrows and resurrection. of a song,” she said. “Then, it music from traditional sources, Amen” occurred to me that it would fit a which she finds in her collection And what about Anna’s first tune in the public domain, the old of hymnals. love of opera? Even though Welsh tune ‘Ar Hyd y Nos,’ or In the folder that contains her she may not be singing in the ‘All Through the Night.’ So I sat hymns, Anna keeps a copy of a Metropolitan Opera production of down and wrote it. Thank good- 1999 “Letter to Artists” by St. “Don Giovanni,” she is diligently ness for music writing software.” John Paul II, which has inspired at work on a Christmas libretto for She later gave the hymn to We her writing. It says in part: “In the holiday season. n 12 August 2020

CLERGY Local News APPOINTMENTS The Most Reverend Frank J. Caggiano, Bishop of Bridgeport, has made the following clergy appointments EDITORIAL in the Diocese of Bridgeport:

Retirement Pandemic has shaken DEACON RAYMOND J. CHERVENAK, from Our Lady of parish life the Assumption Parish, Fairfield, to retirement. Effective date was July According to a survey conducted by the Center for Applied Research in 23, 2020. the Apostolate at Georgetown University and reported by Catholic News DEACON JOHN DEROIN, from Service, nearly every U.S. Bishops said that the coronavirus pandemic has Saint Mary Parish, Bethel, to retire- seriously affected the celebration of the sacraments and disrupted parish life. ment. Effective date was June 18, Confirmations, First Communions, the Rite of Christian Initiation of 2020. Adults and other sacramental preparation were the ministries most often DEACON DONALD NAIMAN, cited by the bishops as being affected. from Saint Joseph Parish, Danbury, In addition, the morale of priests, lay ecclesial ministers, deacons and to retirement. Effective date was chancery staff has been affected as parishes remain a long way from a July 7, 2020. return to normal in terms of Mass attendance, ongoing formation and social and educational activities that make up parish life. DEACON ROBERT E. MORRIS, Regarding finances, the bishops said they were concerned that the loss from Diocese of Charlotte, NC, to of income from Sunday collections would have a devastating impact on retirement. Effective date is August parishes. Likewise, they worried about the effect of increased unemploy- 18, 2020. ment on family life and the viability of Catholic schools as parents struggle to pay tuition. Reverend Francis T. Hoffmann While the Diocese of Bridgeport has experienced many of the challeng- Vicar for Clergy, August, 2020 es outlined in the it has been blessed by the leadership of Bishop Frank J. Caggiano, the sacrificial witness of priests, religious and lay ministers, and the generosity of donors whose contributions have enabled diocesan ministries to feed the poor, provide scholarships for school children and respond to needs within parishes during this time of crisis. To be certain, we have many challenges ahead in the safe re-opening of schools, the gradual return to full activity in parishes and the successful Office completion of the Annual Catholic Appeal. Yet there is much to be hopeful of Communications about as we move forward together in faith and service. Diocese of Bridgeport 238 Jewett Avenue Bridgeport, Connecticut 06606-2892 Summer Decisions, telephone | 203.416.1461 fax | 203.374.2044 email | [email protected] Winter Consequences Web | www.bridgeportdiocese.com Facebook | BridgeportDiocese The following reflection originally appeared on Bishop Frank Caggiano’s Twitter | @diobpt Facebook page. Follow the bishop for daily reflections and weekly videos. USPS no.: 12-117. Periodical postage paid at Bridgeport, CT 06601, “There is an old saying in my parents’ Italian dialect that referred and additional mailing offices. to August as the “head of winter.” For a rural, agrarian society, the Most Reverend Frank J. Caggiano meaning was clear. August was the time when preparations began for Publisher the coming winter months, to ensure that everything was ready. The Brian D. Wallace first chore was to accumulate firewood that was needed to keep the Executive Editor [email protected] kitchen fire burning all winter long. Many other preparations followed. Elizabeth Clyons In our modern, urban world, we consider August the apex of the “lazy Writer/Editor [email protected] days of summer.” Ordinarily, these weeks saw many of us take our sum- Renée Stamatis mer vacations, do some work around the house or simply relax from the Art Director [email protected] Ralph Lazzaro frantic pace of life before the start of a new school year. I think it is fair to Advertising Manager [email protected] say that the winter would ordinarily be far from all of our minds. John Grosso This year, however, things may be different. In fact, the decisions Social Media Leader [email protected] that you and I now make regarding how to respond to the pandemic Ronnie Lazzaro will have a profound impact on the shape of the upcoming fall and Copy Editor (Consultant) winter months. The lazy days of summer should not be an excuse for Advertise anyone to drop their guard or relax their vigilance against the many To place an ad, contact Ralph Lazzaro: ways in which the virus can be transmitted. We must always keep in 203.667.1622 mind the grave consequences that will result if we disregard the future Circulation Every registered Catholic household effects of the actions we take right now. in Fairfield County is entitled The safety measures we have been asked to observe are not designed to a subscription. To cancel, change or add solely to keep us safe. They are also primarily focused on keeping our an address, please email: [email protected] neighbor safe, especially the vulnerable in our midst, which is a mandate Annual Subscription Price that flows from our Christian belief in the sanctity of all human life. $20 (within diocese); $50 (outside diocese) So it seems to me that past generations have an important lesson to Postmaster teach us this summer. August is clearly at the “head of winter,” setting send address changes to: the stage for the autumn and winter months ahead. Let us do what is Fairfield County Catholic, 238 Jewett Ave. required of us with cheerful hearts. For to do otherwise will guarantee Bridgeport, Connecticut 06606-2892 for all of us a long, cold, and bitter winter.” n © Copyright 2020, Diocese of Bridgeport 13 August 2020 Editorial Come to the water

such amazing health benefits A Young Woman’s Voice and my whole body could feel it. Maybe it was the sun, maybe it By Elizabeth Clyons was the fact that it was just my mom and I, or maybe it was my conscious decision to leave my Libby Clyons is Communications problems at the shore. The Sunday following my Associate for the Diocese of vacation was the Eighteenth Bridgeport. She can be reached Sunday in Ordinary Time. The at [email protected]. first reading from Isaiah read: Thus says the LORD: All you who are thirsty, couldn’t believe the news. As go to the beach. come to the water! soon as I hung up the phone Let’s just say, the rental wasn’t You who have no money, I stared out the window for what we expected, but we made come, receive grain and eat; Ia good ten minutes, letting it the best of it for a few nights! Come, without paying and all sink in. Despite the fact that this was my without cost, A single pipe burst ruined my vacation, I found it extremely drink wine and milk! beach vacation. A little back- difficult to relax. Moving from Why spend your money ground…my family and I take one house to house to hotel, dragging for what is not bread; week a year to go to our beach everything back and forth, left my your wages for what fails house in the summer—and that brain little time to fully tune-in to satisfy? time is sacred to us, the closest we to vacation mode. My mind kept Heed me, and you shall eat well, ever get to true peace. returning to all the problems I you shall delight in rich fare. With the coronavirus pan- had to deal with back home. No Come to me heedfully, demic surrounding our every matter where we go, we take our listen, that you may have life. thought, tough decisions to be problems with us, despite our I will renew with you made and hard conversations to intentions to leave them at the the everlasting covenant, be had at home, I had been look- shore. the benefits assured to David ing forward to this vacation since My brother and dad headed (Isaiah 55:1-3). March, even just longing for a home after the first few days, Come to the water. Water is change of pace. but my mom and I couldn’t tear healing. Throughout Scripture, But when my family called to ourselves away. With a bathroom water is used as a symbol for let me know of the flooded lower hooked up in our newly de-floored healing, for being made new. level and the 6-8 week renovation beach house, we decided to stay— When was the last time you let to follow, I couldn’t help but feel call it “an adventure.” I was deter- that healing water wash over you? devastated, like this lifeline that mined to relax, even if I had to Whether it be immersing yourself we looked forward to was being force myself. in the ocean, taking a long hike, taken away from us. It turns out it wasn’t all that reading a great book or cooking a My mom came up with a difficult once I really let myself nutritious meal? What can we do plan—we would stay a few days at settle in. We kept saying we’d for ourselves during this time to a house down the road from ours “play it by ear” …but we ended ensure that we leave our problems that a family friend rented and up staying most of the week. at the shore? spend one night at a hotel. This There is something truly mag- Thus says the LORD: seemed like a good consolation, ical about getting to swim in the All you who are thirsty, and at least we would still get to ocean every day. Salt water has come to the water! n Are you one of the over 14,800 donors to the We Stand With Christ Campaign? Well here’s what you need to know… • WHERE ARE WE NOW? 70 parishes have completed their We Stand With Christ capital campaigns. Nine additional parishes are completing their campaigns in 2020-2021. • DISTRIBUTIONS? $26.0 million of capital campaign contributions have been distributed to parishes and the three foundations as of 6-30-2020 as approved by the We Stand With Christ Board of Directors. • HOW CAN YOU HELP? Choose to fulfill your pledge online to save the costs of mailed remittances. Payments via credit card and direct debit can be made by visiting www.GiveCentral.org/WSWC. • WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON? The Annual Catholic Appeal, which was included in the first year of each parish’s capital campaign, is currently underway for 2020. The Annual Catholic Appeal goals for the parishes were lowered this year based on the success of We Stand With Christ. Thank you for your continued support! • QUESTIONS? We want to hear from you with any concerns or issues you are experiencing. Contact the campaign at 203.648.9050 or at [email protected]. Thank you for your dedication and commitment to this campaign and the many wonderful programs and projects that will benefit from your support! 14 August 2020 Leadership Institute Stuck inside with memories

By DR. PATRICK DONOVAN Another pictures pops up and That day has been special to this time the group is at the Mount me for some time. In 1997, it was I have an app that sends me of Beatitudes, trying very hard to the day my father and I met St. “this day in pictures” reminders. recite all the Beatitudes out loud. John Paul II. I remember the bish- Most days, I look at the photos I remember the first year I took op that was with us at the time and wonder where my youth or a group and the tour guide gave asked my dad if an afternoon trip good looks went or I comment to us the same challenge. He began: to the catacombs would be anti- my wife how fast the children are “How many of you can recite the climactic following the morning’s growing. Oftentimes, I send a few first lines of the Constitution of audience with the Holy Father. photos to the children to let them the United States?” He asked. My father, always quick with his join in the reminiscing. The group responded in wit, smiled and said, “Bishop, I In the last several days, how- delight: “We the People of the think after this morning the rest of my life will be anticlimactic.” Dad died on the feast of St. James in 2011. His middle name was James. So, yeah, reading at Mass that morning in the Holy Sepulcher was a little overwhelm- ing. I remember my good friend, Father Joe, who accompanied our group, commenting that saying the words of consecration at Mass and remembering the sacrifice of Jesus will never quite be the same after that morning. ever, my inbox has been flooded United States, in Order to form The last photo to come up on with photos from Bethlehem, a more perfect Union, estab- my phone recalls the serenity of Jerusalem, Nazareth, and lish Justice, ensure domestic the Sea of Galilee, incredibly blue Capernaum – all places I visited in Tranquility, provide for the com- and appearing though a storm had 2019 with a group of young adults mon defense, promote the general just passed and the waters had only from the Diocese of Bridgeport. Welfare….” recently been calmed. The group It was the second time The Then he asked for the Ten took at boat ride across the sea, Leadership Institute sponsored Commandments. No problem. spending time in prayer and con- such a pilgrimage and 2020 started Quite pleased with ourselves, templating the significance of the off with the promise of a similar we were silenced with the task: Sea of Galilee in Sacred Scripture. pilgrimage, this time to Greece “So how many of you can recite We discussed Jesus walking and Turkey to walk in the foot- the Beatitudes?” he asked. “After on water (Mark 6:45–53; John steps of St. Paul. Next year, our all, aren’t they the constitution of 6:16–21) and how, in Matthew’s pilgrimage would have headed to the Church?” version of the story (Matthew Rome to study early Christianity. “There’s ‘Blessed are the merci- 14:22–33), Jesus invites Peter to Then came the pandemic. ful…’,” one person responded. leave the boat and come toward Our plan is still in place—a “And the one about the meek,” Him. When Peter steps out of the three year cycle – The Holy said another. boat and heads towards Jesus, he Land, Footsteps of St. Paul, Early Ouch. is failed only by his lack of faith. Christianity—but now we will To be fair, I think we ended We could relate to that. We talked delay a year and pick it up again up getting about five of the eight. about the feeding of the four thou- in 2021. If you are a young adult, Try it sometime. It’s not an easy sand (Matthew 15:29–39) and the keep an eye out next spring for assignment and yet our guide was feeding of the five thousand (Luke registration information. correct: the Beatitudes lay the foun- 9:10–17). Finally, we contemplat- Now back to the photographs. dation of our call to discipleship. ed Jesus teaching the crowds gath- There is one of the group huddled How can we expect to live them if ered on the shore (Mark 4:1–34) into the very small chapel where we cannot even remember them? and how he preached while stand- the Christ child was laid in the There is another photo of the ing in a boat on the Sea of Galilee manger. It is the only site in the group at Mass and this time, it (Matthew 13:2). Church of the Nativity where a brings tears to my eyes. It was on Then, we danced. I have videos Catholic Mass can be held and the the feast of St. James, July 25th to prove that some young adults group of pilgrims cannot exceed and we were crowded into the in our diocese are quite good at 15. We just fit. Celebrating Mass Holy Sepulcher, the tomb of Jesus, the Jewish dance, Havah Naglilah together did not keep other tour- the place where John’s Gospel (“Let us rejoice”). ists from trying to shove their way tell us: “At the place where Jesus Even though the family is still into the chapel or from taking was crucified, there was a garden, somewhat stuck inside, I was glad pictures above our heads, but it and in the garden a new tomb, in to reminded of this special time in was still a solemn moment for all which no one had ever been laid. my ministry and I look forward to of us as we sang O Come All Ye Because it was the Jewish day of the day when a group can return Faithful at the very spot where Preparation and since the tomb to distant shores to study our faith, Our Savior lay helpless in the was nearby, they laid Jesus there.” journey like St. Paul, and return feeding trough. (John 19:41-42). renewed in mind and spirit. n 15 August 2020 Foundations in Faith COVID-19 grants announced BRIDGEPORT—Foundations in Faith has announced that it will distribute funds for diocesan initia- tives to combat racism and support faith formation programs, along with providing emergency funding to parishes suffering financial short- falls as a result of the coronavirus pandemic. Andy Aoyama, newly named chairman of the foundation’s board of trustees, said it was necessary to be proactive and offer support to the parishes. The board approved $200,000 to be disbursed to the parishes as part of the COVID- 19 Emergency Fund from the St. Francis Xavier Mission Church Fund, supported by We Stand With Christ capital campaign. Kelly Weldon, director of Foundations in Faith, said, “I’m • How to have a conversation other formation efforts. In addi- very proud of Foundations in Faith about race tion, three grants totaling $18,000 and how the board responded to • Beyond Black: Race and were awarded to the Leadership the crisis. We have now distributed Multiculturalism Institute, which offers opportunities $210,000 to parishes that have been • Growing in Awareness and for ministry personnel to learn the unable to collect monies the way Knowledge Catholic faith and discover new they have for years and years.” • Teaching Peace ways to shape the next generation The board also approved A preliminary video will feature of disciples in Fairfield County. funding for anti-racism training Father Reggie Norman, pastor of All the funded projects can in diocesan programs, following Our Lady of Fatima in Wilton and be implemented online and are Bishop Frank J. Caggiano’s call for episcopal vicar for the Apostolate in response to the COVID-19 the Church to work for justice and of African American Catholics. pandemic. They will fund parish- combat racism. Bishop Caggiano For complete details on the webi- ioners’ access to Catholic Brain. has been appointed to the Ad Hoc nars and to register, visit The com, a digital faith formation plat- Committee Against Racism of Leadership Institute’s website at form allowing families to access the United States Conference of www.formationreimagined.org. resources via videos, handouts, and Catholic Bishops and created a Weldon, who is a member of worksheets; bulk Zoom subscrip- similar diocesan committee, which the committee against racism, tions to help alleviate costs of the recently held its first meeting. said there is a direct connection video conferencing tool to parishes, The committee, which includes between anti-racism training and which have been encouraged to clergy and laity, will develop a faith formation. continue to connect virtually with strategy to respond to racism. “I’m passionate and committed young people and families; and the “It is my hope that the dio- to anything we can do to confront funding of book purchases for faith cese will be a more just place—a racism,” she said. “COVID slowed formation leaders in the diocese, place that welcomes everyone and us all down and made us watch complete with group online conver- allows opportunity to everyone, that horrible video and listen to the sations with the authors. especially to come and know the stories that came out in response to Aoyama has asked board mem- Lord,” he said. George Floyd’s death. We couldn’t bers to be advocates for each of At the initial meeting, Bishop use day to day life to distract us the nine pastoral ministries that Caggiano said Foundations in from the harsh reality that racism Foundations in Faith supports. Faith has earmarked up to $40,000 is real, and it is killing people of This will allow board members to for initiatives, and the Committee color. We all must accept a level of serve as contacts for the respective Against Racism will draft a propos- responsibility.” ministries and help shepherd them al for the board’s consideration. Because of the coronavirus pan- through the grant process. Among the programs being demic a number of St. John Paul “This is an important part of adopted are several webinars to II grant requests were withdrawn, my mission as chair,” Aoyama advance the discussion about rac- and the board decided to earmark said. “It is exciting to be a part ism and cultural diversity. They the unspent funds toward anti-rac- of Foundations in Faith because will feature talks by experts from ism education. The St. John Paul I think we can effect some real academia and ministry and run II Fund was established to support change at a critical moment in time from July 30 every Thursday at 1 religious education, youth ministry where change is essential. I find pm until September 3. and faith formation. the bishop’s leadership so inspiring, Topics include: More recently, 17 parishes especially the recent call to action • Race and the Catholic Church received $66,800 in St. John Paul and I’m so impressed with the staff • Race and Catholic Social II grants for religious education of the diocese and the efforts they Teaching programs, youth ministry and put into everything.” n 16 August 2020 St. Matthew Parish Center ‘A place to pray, work and play’

By JOE PISANI of people’s lives. It’s all for the a community of faith, Monsignor good, all for God’s people.” said, is “to maintain the Church as NORWALK—St. Matthew The project, which was designed the heartbeat of our longing for spir- Parish had a vision of creating a by the architectural firm Doyle itual growth, service to others and welcoming recreation center that Coffin, is expected to be completed social and family life.” would keep people of all ages con- by the end of the year. The recreation center will be the nected to parish life the way past Carl Lecher, the owner’s represen- focus of athletic programs, team and generations were. That vision is on tative of Lecher Development, said, league sporting events, exercise pro- the way to being fulfilled with a “The project is moving along in spite grams, movie nights, employer fairs, $2.9 million facility expected to be of the pandemic. There has been some health fairs, bloodmobiles, yoga and

completed by the end of the year. difficulty communicating but it is mov- spinning classes, and catechism and The Parish Life, Activity, ing along as well as we could expect.” faith formation classes. Community and Recreational Lecher, whose son Steve owns The parish, which began in Center, which is a two-story, the company, said, “We have a 1957, currently has 8,000 registered 18,000-square-foot facility, made roof on and we are in the midst of parishioners. possible by the We Stand With having some additional engineering Bishop Frank J. Caggiano, who Christ capital campaign, will “pro- work done and looking at every- attended the groundbreaking cere- vide the opportunity for more space thing on the job to see if we can mony, said, “Many people will find to pray, to work and to play togeth- reduce the cost.” their way to St. Matthew through er. It will be a place for people to Lecher, who with his wife the recreation center before they find a safe home to get to know Christine belongs to the parish, had find their way to the church door.... one another and to grow together,” been the contractor of construction This is really an historical moment said Msgr. Walter C. Orlowski, VF, and renovation done on the church in the life of a remarkable parish.” KCHS, dean and pastor. some 15 years ago. In an effort to ensure St. The goal of the center is to invite “This will be a beautiful facility Matthew is inviting to all those parishioners and the community to and there will be a lot of activity in who enter, there is also a program make the Church the center of their the gym. Monsignor had a great underway to repair and renovate lives by offering a multipurpose gym- vision about how to get young people existing facilities to create a more nasium with a full basketball court, and other people into church, and this welcoming parish than before. This an elevated walking track, a teen will serve that purpose,” he said. includes replacing carpeting in the study center and a Newman Center The vision, which is articulated church along with upholstery and for Catholic young people in college. in materials explaining the project, cushions on the pews and kneelers. At the groundbreaking last June, is “to create a safe, welcoming and The flat roofs will be repaired, and a Monsignor said, “As a pastor who practical recreation space that will new furnace and ventilation system comes from the old CYO leagues, offer people of all ages the opportu- will be installed in the chapel. In the I’m delighted to create a place for nity to engage in a variety of social, Parish Center, renovations include busy families to come together, physical, intellectual and catechet- replacing the existing air condi- to have fun, to offer basketball ical activities while remaining con- tioning and updating the Welcome tournaments, soccer, volleyball, nected to our parish family.” Center to create a more comfortable martial arts and boot camps.... At a time when the Church is environment. We’re building on what we already constantly competing with secular At the kickoff of the campaign, have to give people the training interests and pursuits, research Msgr .Orlowski said, “This cam- space and programs they need to shows there are 365,000 non-prac- paign is an opportunity to create encourage health in body, mind and ticing Catholics and 140,000 stu- a bridge to the future of what St. spirit. It’s all about creating a parish dents who don’t attend religious Matthew Parish can become. Our even more welcoming, even more education programs in the Diocese challenge is to make St. Matthew alive and vibrant in faith than ever of Bridgeport. even more alive and vibrant in faith before—one that can be the center One of the greatest challenges as and the center of our lives.” n 17 August 2020 St. Matthew Parish Center Bishop’s Online Mass Putting music to the Mass

By KATHY ANN GOBIN and I think it becomes a richer Beatles and U2, also listened experience for them,” said Dr. to Irish and classical music and BRIDGEPORT—Online Patrick Donovan, director of the studied piano. Masses have given thousands Diocesan Leadership Institute. A self-taught guitarist, her of people the opportunity to not Lyndy says she selects songs skills flourished during her col- only worship together but also the that help make the liturgical lege years at the University of ability to experience a variety of passages memorable. “I want Notre Dame where all students liturgical music to hear the word people to walk away thinking, “I were encouraged to not only lis- of God. like that song and words out of ten to but participate in liturgical Lyndy Toole is one of many the second reading or the homi- music. There was even a waiting musicians who have accompanied ly. There’s always a connection list to participate in the dormitory Bishop Frank J. Caggiano during from the songs to the liturgy. I folk choir. his Sunday online masses from feel it and I want other people to The demand was so great she

the chapel at the Catholic Center feel it too.” didn’t get to actively participate in Bridgeport. She said she specifically tries in her own dorm choir until her “It is a wonderful gift to me to to choose songs for communion senior year. Undeterred, her be able to do this,” Lyndy said. that are not overpowering and passion for music led her to play “I get so much out of it,” she said that have a recognizable melody. guitar in other dorms and as fate adding that selecting the music “Music should connect to the would have it, she met her hus- for the masses is an honor. liturgy and enhance, not detract band Deacon Patrick Toole, epis- “Each song is important to from it,” she said. “I am there to copal delegate for administration me,” she said. “Sometimes I’ll encourage others to participate in of the Diocese of Bridgeport. The mull it over for a long period of the mass through the music.” retired IBM executive also shares time and sometimes it’s a spur of Collecting liturgical music, her love of music and enjoys the the moment selection but always referencing annual liturgical plan- cello, organ and clarinet. with the intention to be connected ning magazines and attending Married two and a half years to the liturgy, easy on the ear and liturgical conferences, including after meeting, they lived in easy to sing for the congregation. a virtual conference earlier this North Carolina before moving I’m hoping people are singing at month, helps Lyndy to keep to Connecticut and raising five home along with me.” abreast of what composers are children. Their children attended The diocese has made it eas- working on and any new music St. Thomas Aquinas in Fairfield ier for people to do just that by books that are coming out. where Lyndy spent five years as scrolling the words of the songs “I like to incorporate all dif- a volunteer developing and teach- on the screen during Mass. ferent styles, from traditional to ing music programs before being “By putting the words on the more contemporary because we hired by the school where she screen, we give the folks at home are all different,” she said. continued to guide her musical the chance to participate more Lyndy, who grew up listen- charges for the next five years. fully in the liturgical experience ing to rock and roll music, the ➤ continued on page 18 18 August 2020 Bishop’s Online Mass Putting music to the Mass from page 17

The musical legacy continues the next generation to actively seek it out.” in some of the couple’s children participate in Mass, Lyndy said. Music and music selection and respective families (they Her own journey with music permeate all aspects of her life. now have two grandchildren) started at a young age. Although As a kickboxing instructor at a but mostly through her teaching trained classically to sing and local gym, she knows her music at schools and summer camps play the piano, when she was choices can help inspire and focus which unfortunately have been 10, she tried her hand at the flute her class or distract from the suspended because of the corona- before choosing to focus on the task at hand. Understanding not virus pandemic. guitar which her father brought everyone is going to appreciate all A music minister at St. Luke home after playing the instrument music styles, she is pleased to be Parish in Westport, she welcomed while serving in Vietnam. a part of the bishop’s mission to the extraordinary opportunity to When the family moved to showcase a variety of musicians play during some of the bishop’s Hawaii, her beloved piano and and liturgical music during the online Masses on Sunday. coach stayed behind and she online Masses. “It gives me so much joy when picked up the guitar in earnest. “I have been so grateful for the bishop sings with me. People This time, the lesson books were the way the musicians plan and need to see that he is singing her coach and the nuns at St. hours they put into this small cel- along as well. What it has made Francis in Honolulu became her ebration,” Donovan said. “They me do is connect more to the ardent supporters. know that for many, this is the actual music the musicality of the “The nuns were trying to get only opportunity to celebrate Mass piece and the words.” girls who were proficient, to play with their bishop and so great “I love that the bishop is trying at mass. I said, ‘I’ll try,’ and I just care is taken to include music to bring as much diverse forms of loved it.” that both adds to the beauty of Catholic liturgical music to the Traditional music is import- the Eucharistic celebrations and general public,” she said. Music ant but Lyndy tends to favor the engages those at home who miss from other artists including Dr. more upbeat contemporary music going to Mass in their parishes.” Bill Atwood, David Harris and selections. Lyndy said she’s adjusted to Jane Lambert, reflects the many “Traditional melodies have not playing in the company of musical styles of the congrega- been handed down through the a large congregation. The most tions in the diocese. years but by taking traditional challenging aspect of that she “All of the musicians bring hymns and playing them with said was not audibly participating such great passion to the small different instruments you can in the congregational responses chapel where we gather,” breathe a more contemporary life during the Mass. Donovan said. “As Bishop into them,” she said. “Music is an expression of Caggiano often says, the music She enjoys the musical trea- how you are feeling,” she said. they provide offers, ‘a bridge to sure hunt. “The joy you get from participat- the Beautiful One.’” “I try to find songs that I’m ing is wonderful. It’s isolating for Reaching the entire congrega- not familiar with and listen to everyone right now. You have tion through music is important them,” Lyndy said. “I also want to find joy somewhere else. This and it is especially important to to present music in such a way gives me a purpose and joy. This get teens involved to encourage people want to listen to it and is fun.” n 19 August 2020 Immaculate High School Appoints two to leadership positions

DANBURY—Immaculate High School announced that Denise Suarez of Bethel and Jeannie Demko of Danbury will assume new leadership roles at the Catholic college-preparatory school beginning July 1, 2020. Denise Suarez has been appointed to be the director of admissions. Suarez is a 1987 graduate of Immaculate, and has served as the director of alumni relations since 2013. In that posi- tion she developed and contin- uously expanded Immaculate’s ter time to consider Immaculate work directly with our amazing alumni program to reach and and I look forward to sharing the network of alumni. Thanks to engage its ever growing base of mission, values and outcomes of the leadership of Denise Suarez, over 7,000 alumni, including an Immaculate education with our efforts in this area have never members of her own family. prospective families,” Suarez been stronger,” Demko said. “I “After thoroughly enjoying my added. am inspired and energized to work with our incredible alumni Jeannie Demko will serve as continue creating pathways for community over the the school’s alumni participation that advance last seven years, director of the goals of IHS. As an alumna, I look forward alumni rela- parent of an alumnus and current to serving my “Immaculate serves tions. A 1988 parent I am passionate about alma mater in graduate of the mission of Immaculate and this new role. students from Immaculate have seen firsthand how alumni I am excited to High School, relations help benefit our students build upon the 28 communities Demko and contribute to their growth,” great work of returned to she noted. our admissions in Connecticut Immaculate Immaculate High School is a department as as event private, non-profit Catholic col- I look to wel- and New York.’ coordinator lege-preparatory institution serv- come the next in 2018. In ing students from 28 communities generation of that role she in Connecticut and New York. Immaculate students as director helped plan, organize and run Founded in 1962, Immaculate of admissions,” she said. “I can special events including the annu- High School also allows students say without hesitation that the al Golf Outing, Spring Gala and to focus on academic excellence, academic continuity, develop- Scholarship Breakfast. spiritual development, service ment of compassionate leaders “Working at Immaculate for to others and personal goals. and vibrancy of the Immaculate the past two years has been an Located in Danbury, Conn., community have remained stead- absolute joy. In my new role as Immaculate High School is part fast during these challenging director of alumni relations, I will of the Diocese of Bridgeport’s times. There has never been a bet- have the privilege and honor to school system. n WEFACEIT Faith. Academics. Community. Empowerment.

TOGETHER  Rooted in faith and Gospel values  small class size experience Review the   Safe and nurturing environments Diocese of Bridgeport Catholic Schools full-time, 5 days a week  COVID-19 emergency tuition assistance funds available back to school plan for the Fall at  Rigorous academic program DOBCatholicSchools.com  Temporary at-home instruction option available DOBCatholicSchools.com

21 August 2020 Sacred Heart, Greenwich 82 young women graduate

GREENWICH— Sacred Salem N.Y. has spent ten years as a Kairos retreat leader, Kumon Heart, Greenwich graduated 82 a student at Sacred Heart. During Math and Reading instructor, young women on June 5, 2020. her time at Sacred Heart, she George Washington Carver Sacred Heart Greenwich is was the co-editor of Voices pub- Community Center volunteer, proud to recognize Valentina lication, served as a music ther- White Plains Hospital step- Grether as valedictorian and apy volunteer with Alzheimer’s down unit volunteer, CT Special Caroline Badagliacca and Elisa patients, was a participant in Olympics volunteer, an altar server

Valentina Grether Caroline Badagliacca Elisa Howard

Howard as co-salutatorians for the Sacred Heat’s science research and Eucharist Minister. She will Class of 2020. program, a Regeneron Scholar for attend Yale University in the Fall. Valentina Grether of Riverside studying music and cognition, and “I have always been fascinated has spent eight years as a student the Girl Scout Gold Award recip- by the innate intricacies of the at Sacred Heart. She played tennis ient. She will attend Vanderbilt in human brain and nervous sys- and squash, was a freshman peer the Fall. tem,” says Howard, “and Yale leader and served as a Eucharistic “Upon first visiting Vanderbilt’s University’s renowned research Minister. She will attend Brown campus, what stood out to me opportunities, including the University in the Fall. the most is the incredible bal- First-Year Summer Research “I chose Brown firstly because ance the school possesses,” says Fellowship, will enable me to of the open curriculum,” says Badagliacca. “I knew when look- explore unanswered questions of Grether. “Since I plan on majoring ing for a school I wanted a place neuroscience. When applying to in engineering, which has stricter that was academically rigorous, Yale, I was particularly inspired requirements than other majors, but still left room for other enrich- by the research of Professor Nenad it was really important to me that ment and Vanderbilt’s programs, Sestan, who revived cellular func- I still had as much flexibility as research possibilities, SEC sports, tionality in a pig brain four hours possible to pursue courses in all and boundless opportunities to be after its death. Through research my other interests. Ultimately, involved on campus were perfect in one of Yale’s over 1,200 labo- Brown’s open curriculum seemed for me. Additionally, one of my ratories, I can investigate my own ideal to extend my college expe- main focuses during my time at rather unconventional questions rience to encompass not only Sacred Heart has been working of the brain. At the same time, I my intellectual development, but with those suffering from dementia am an aspiring neurosurgeon, and, also my growth as an individual. and trying to use music to improve through Yale’s affiliations with the Another important factor was the their quality of life. Not only does medical school and hospital, I may collaborative culture at Brown, Vanderbilt have a music cognition explore my surgical interests as an and the amazing opportunities laboratory, but the interdisciplin- undergraduate student.” that the university offers. Many of ary nature of their academic pro- “Whether in the classroom, the current students I talked with grams, as well as my acceptance on the turf, in the chapel, at the highlighted the Brown UTRAs, into the Curb Scholars Program, anchor desk, in the lab or behind which are undergraduate teaching provided me with a unique chance the podium, the graduating Class and research awards for Brown to combine my interests in music, of 2020 accomplished so much at students. Brown fascinated me cognition, and business both in Sacred Heart Greenwich,” says because the students and faculty and out of the classroom.” Pamela Juan Hayes, Sacred Heart are always challenging each other Elisa Howard of Norwalk has Greenwich alum, Class of ’64. to grow together in learning. Last spent two years at Sacred Heart. “We’re especially proud to see but certainly not least, Providence She was co-captain of Sacred these talented students matriculate is a great town for college students. Heart Robotics, Perspectives to strong colleges and universities Students always praise the art art editor, NY Medical College that reflect their individual aca- exhibits and other events available Summer Prostate Cancer research demic interests and passions so outside of Brown, not to mention assistant, saxophonist in Sacred closely. We look forward to seeing a seemingly endless list of amazing Heart Jazz Band, a participant how far their academics, faith and Providence restaurants.” in varsity track and field, varsity commitment to others takes them Caroline Badagliacca of North cross country, and varsity fencing, in the future.” n 22 August 2020 Desert Fathers Priest explores ancient message By JOE PISANI porary society. coming “The question of how much I after TRUMBULL—During the should detach from the world to us and third and fourth century, Christian keep my faith intact is a perennial making men and women began leaving a challenge for all of us,” he says. us mar- corrupt society and going to the “The Desert Fathers and Mothers tyrs, then deserts of Egypt and Palestine in are really the ancestors of religious we are pursuit of holiness. sisters and brothers that we are going to They became hermits, monks familiar with today. Like contem- go and and ascetics who laid the foun- porary monks and nuns, they took be inten- dation of modern monasticism. vows of poverty, chastity and obe- tional Their ranks included legendary dience and lived in a radical way.” about figures who had legendary conver- The Desert Fathers can be a taking on sions like St. Mary of Egypt, who genuine inspiration for modern this pen- left behind a promiscuous life to Christians, he says. “We are sup- ance and follow Christ, and St. Moses the posed to be detached from material this struggle voluntarily,’” he said. Ethiopian, a bandit who escaped possessions and be attentive to “The modern world is very to the desert fleeing the authori- God’s plan for our relationships and escapist,” Father said. “Everybody ties…and finding Christ. And St. more focused on God’s will,” he constantly has their phones in their Anthony the Great, who gave said. “But we all sometimes chafe hand because if they’re not surfing away his family inheritance and at minor inconveniences in regard the Internet or checking social went into the wilderness to live an to detachment and following God media, they have to come face-to- ascetic life and became recognized rather than the prevailing mood.” face with their own inner thoughts, as a founder of monasticism. Another parallel has been the desires and battles. The intention Centuries later, the stories and lives of isolation, which people of the Desert Fathers was to step wisdom of the Desert Fathers and have been forced to live since the away from the distractions and Mothers are an enduring exam- COVID-19 pandemic has disrupted come face-to-face with the self and ple for the modern era of what it familiar patterns of social interac- fight that spiritual battle and end up means to follow Christ, says Father tion and forced us to live in con- in a deeper relationship with God Philip G. Bochanski, author of finement with others. and a deeper generosity, humility “Wisdom of the Desert Fathers “We are all living more isolated and ability to pray and intercede for and Mothers: Ancient Advice for lives than we might have otherwise the whole world.” the Modern World.” (The book, chosen, and that brings its own Modern monastic communities recently published by Tan, is avail- set of challenges, both in the idea are founded on the tradition of the able on Amazon.) that we’re isolated and that we are Desert Fathers and Mothers. Even “The monks of the desert went with people—especially our fam- today, there are religious orders out to the wilderness to be reshaped ilies—more than before,” Father that bring the desert to the city, according to the image and likeness said. “In terms of isolation and in such as the Holy Spirit Adoration of God in which they had been cre- terms of strict confinement with a Sisters, known as the Pink Sisters, ated, and which had been distorted small group of people who know who have a community in down- or blurred by sin and selfishness,” how to push our buttons, we can town Philadelphia. Father Bochanski said. sympathize with how the Desert For a decade, Father Bochanski A priest in residence at the Fathers were living but also how belonged to a small communi- Parish of St. Catherine of Siena, they were growing in their humility ty of diocesan priests called the Father Bochanski is the executive and charity.” Congregation of the Oratory of St. director of Courage International, Recalling the words of his first Philip Neri, a 16th century priest an apostolate of the Catholic pastor, he said, “Your family can inspired by the example of the des- Church that ministers to people push your buttons because they ert monks and St. John Cassian, with same sex attraction who want installed them and know where who wrote extensively about the to live chastely in accord with the they are.” Fathers and their spirituality. Church’s teaching. We often endure trials in the “I am not at the Oratory any- A native of suburban very areas where we need conver- more, but I think there is still part Philadelphia, he was ordained in sion, he said, adding that the devil of me that values time set apart the Archdiocese of Philadelphia in knows what those places are, and from action and having a prayer 1999 and served in several parish he is going to use them to trip us up. place—even an area of my room assignments and as a high school Men and women did not go for that purpose,” he said. “And theology teacher, chaplain for into the desert to escape society but that part of me is shaped by the the Holy Spirit Adoration Sisters, to find themselves, he said. During Desert Fathers and Mothers.” spiritual director for seminarians the fourth century, the persecution The teachings of the Fathers and chaplain for the Courage of Christians had stopped, and they and Mothers are compiled in the Apostolate there. Last year, Pope wanted to emulate the spirituality “Sayings of the Desert Fathers,” Francis awarded him the Cross Pro of the previous generation of mar- or Apophthegmata Patrum, which Ecclesia et Pontifice in recognition tyrs, who gave witness to Christ. is a collection of short sayings and of “sustained and exceptional ser- “Their question was ‘What is stories used for study, meditation vice” to the Church. going to be our way of giving wit- and prayer. Father Bochanski says the lives ness, our way of overcoming the “Their message is always that of the desert men and women world and the traps the world sets only God will satisfy the deepest offer valuable lessons for contem- for people of faith? If they are not ➤ continued on page 30 23 August 2020 Obituaries Father Paul F. Merry, 73 DANBURY—Reverend Paul He first served as parochial F. Merry passed away on the vicar of St. James Church in morning of July 15, 2020. He was Stratford (1972-1976). In June 73 years of age. 1976, he was appointed as the “Father Merry is fondly priest chaplain to Sacred Heart remembered by many across the University. During this time, he diocese as a kind and humble resided at St. Andrew Church man and a true servant priest in Bridgeport and St. Stephen who worked tirelessly and gave Church in Trumbull. From 1982 of himself sacrificially in his min- to 1985, he served as pastor of St. istry to others. Please pray for John Vianney Parish in Chiclayo, the repose of the soul of Father Peru. Merry and for the consolation of Returning to the diocese his family,” said Bishop Frank J. in 1985, Father Merry was Caggiano. Reverend Paul F. Merry assigned as parochial vicar at Most recently Father Merry St. Mary Church in Bridgeport. had served as chaplain of Saint St. Basil Preparatory School, also He was named pastor of Blessed John Paul II Center for Health in Stamford. Sacrament Church in Bridgeport Care, Danbury and in-residence Father Merry began his in 1989. Since 2007, Father Merry priest at St. Peter Church in priestly formation at St. Thomas has served as the chaplain at Pope Danbury. Seminary in Bloomfield Conn., John Paul II Care and Rehab Paul Francis Merry was continued at St. John Seminary Center, residing at St. Peter in born in Stamford, Connecticut, and completed his theological Danbury. on December 20, 1946, son of studies at the North American Throughout his years of Francis and Mary (Tierney) College in Rome. He was priestly ministry in the diocese, Merry. He was baptized January ordained to the priesthood for Father Merry also served on the 12, 1947, at St. Cecilia Church in the Diocese of Bridgeport by the Presbyteral Council, as auditor Stamford, Conn. Most Reverend James A. Hickey notary for the Marriage Tribunal, He attended St. Mary at St. Peter’s Basilica in Vatican the diocesan advisor to the Grammar School, Stamford and City on December 17, 1971. English Language Cursillos. n Father Bernardo Rodriguez, 66 DANBURY—Reverend Ramon Malla Call in Lleida, residing at St. Patrick Church Bernardo Rodriguez passed away Spain on October 11, 1980. in Bridgeport. Returning to on July 16, 2020. He was 66 After his ordination, he first years of age. served as Parochial Vicar of “Through his work as a Nuestra Senora de! Puig. In hospital chaplain, his service 1981, he began work in prison in prison ministry, and his ministry for the first time, serv- ministry to migrant workers, ing as the chaplain at the federal Father Bernardo reached out in jail in Lleida, Spain. In 1986, a special way to those who were he continued that work at the suffering, and he brought the National Jail in Panama City, healing of Christ to all he served. Panama. Please pray for the repose of his Father Rodriguez came to the soul and for the consolation of United States in 1987 where he his family,” said Bishop Frank J. began work as parochial vicar at Caggiano. St. Charles Borromeo Parish in Father Bernardo Rodriguez Bridgeport. He was incardinated was born in Lleida, Catalonia, into the Diocese of Bridgeport in Spain, on April 28, 1954. His 1989. In 1991, he was transferred parents were Eulogio Rodriguez to Our Lady of Montserrat in Reverend Bernardo Rodriguez and Patrocinio Chicano. He Stamford, serving first as paro- is survived by a sister, Manoli chial vicar, then as parochial prison ministry in 2001, Father Rodriguez and a nephew, Josue administrator, and lastly as pas- Rodriguez worked in Prison Martinez Rodriguez. tor beginning in 1993. He served Chaplaincy and Seaport Ministry Father Rodriguez studied for in that position until 1997. at Bridgeport Correctional the priesthood at the Pontifical Father Rodriguez then spent a Facility and Garner Prison. His University of Saint Pacian, year in ministry to migrant work- most recent assignment was as Barcelona where he received ers in Orange County N.Y. assistant chaplain at Danbury the degree of Master in Pastoral He returned to the diocese in Hospital and part-time parochi- Ministry. He was ordained to the 1999 to begin work as Catholic al vicar of St. Peter Parish in priesthood by the Most Reverend chaplain to Bridgeport Hospital, Danbury. n 24 August 2020 Obituary Reverend F. William Verrilli, 68

BRIDGEPORT—Reverend F. at Fairfield University earning his William Verrilli passed away on degree in 1973. Fr. Verrilli studied Saturday, July 25, 2020. He was for the priesthood at Theological 68 years of age. College, Catholic University in “Please pray for the repose of Washington DC. He was ordained the soul of Father Verrilli and for to the priesthood by the Most the consolation of his family,” Reverend Walter W. Curtis at St. said Bishop Frank J. Caggiano, Augustine Cathedral, Bridgeport who praised Father Verrilli for his on May 5, 1979. commitment to lifetime learning After his ordination, Father and faithful service as an educa- Verrilli first served as parochial tor and a judge in the Diocesan vicar of St. Andrew Parish in Tribunal. Bridgeport. In 1980, he began Father William Verrilli was his career in our diocesan high born in Bridgeport, Connecticut schools, teaching at St. Joseph on August 4, 1951. His parents High School in Trumbull for were William R. Verrilli and many years, later as spiritual Reverend F. William Verrilli Florence Caseria Verrilli. He is director at Trinity Catholic School survived by a sister, Sister Marie in Stamford and faculty member degree in 2001, he spent many Verrilli, SND. of Notre Dame High School in years as a judge in the Tribunal of Father Verrilli was educated Fairfield. the Diocese of Bridgeport. at Blessed Sacrament School and Father Verrilli was given leave Condolences can be sent to Madison School in Bridgeport to pursue a licentiate degree in Father Verrilli’s sister, Sr. Marie and graduated from Fairfield Canon Law at Catholic University Verrilli SND, in care of The College Preparatory School in of America in Washington D.C. in Catholic Center, 238 Jewett 1969. He continued his education 1999. Upon the completion of this Avenue, Bridgeport CT 06606. n 25 August 2020 Obituary Father Fernandez, founder of Our Lady of Guadalupe, dies at 85

By JOE PISANI my maternal vigilance and give first Mass was celebrated. Father compassionate assistance to those Fernandez was named the first Reverend Jose A. Fernandez, who ask for it.’ Maybe the echo pastor, on June 3, 1985 and he one of the early leaders of the of Mary’s petition was heard here served until 1995. Spanish-speaking community after 450 years. Perhaps Mary Jose Antonio Fernandez was in the Diocese of Bridgeport wanted to have a sanctuary in this born July 27, 1934 at San Ramon whose vision and faith led to town.” de Bembibre, Spain. The young- the construction of Our Lady of Father Fernandez, who later est of four children, he was the Guadalupe Parish in Danbury, retired to New Jersey, wrote, “In son of Jose Fernandez and Isabel died on March 13 in Spain. Enriquez. He received his prepara- He was 85. tory education in Leon at Valencia “Father Fernandez was de Don Juan. He attended college a man of great devotion at Valladolid, Spain and minor to Our Lady and is recog- seminary at Becerril de Campos in nized as the founder and Palencia. He later studied at Saint first pastor of Our Lady of Augustine College in Valladolid Guadalupe Parish,” said and Salamanca University. Bishop Frank J. Caggiano. He was ordained on July 17, “He was much loved and 1960 in Valladolid by Archbishop respected by all whom he Jose Goldaraz. A year later he served.” came to the United States and Father Fernandez is rec- served as parochial vicar at several ognized by a plaque that hangs at the beginning, most of the men parishes in Staten Island and the the entrance to the church, which worked 70 to 80 hours a week in Bronx. He as incardinated into the says, “With honor and gratitude diners and restaurants without Diocese of Bridgerport in 1974. to Rev. Jose A. Fernandez, found- health insurance, paid vacations or According to longtime parish- er of the first Spanish church built other benefits. Life was a bit hard. ioner Carmen Madrid Kinsler, he in the Diocese of Bridgeport, Our The mission fostered finding better was “a great man” who was very Lady of Guadalupe, Danbury, jobs, fomenting small businesses personable. After his retirement he Connecticut, 1976-1995. and especially urged them to pur- lived in Bethel while assisting at Father Fernandez was appoint- chase their own homes. By 1989, the Portuguese church, Immaculate ed parochial vicar at St. Catherine there were about 50 families who Heart of Mary in Danbury. of Siena in Riverside in 1969. In lived in their own homes. In 1990, “He was loved by the 1970, he was named chaplain of there were 21 businesses run by Portuguese community,” she said. Abbet Manor and Hillside Home Spanish-speaking residents. The “He also enjoyed a small farm in Bridgeport and served as resi- parish also promoted scholastic in upstate New York and visited dent priest at St. Ambrose Church and occupational learning.” many parishioners at home and in Bridgeport and later St. Joseph The faithful began a campaign held monthly brunches with some Church in Shelton and St. Joseph to build their own church with the of his former congregation.” Church in South Norwalk. slogan, “WITH GOD WE CAN.” In 2017, Father Fernandez In 1975, he was appointed Several woman approached Father returned to Leon, Spain, where he co-pastor and later pastor of Fernandez and said, “Father, if grew up in Leon and lived with his Blessed Sacrament Parish in we all put a dollar in each time sister Isabel and his seven neph- Bridgeport. A year later, he was we enter the church, something ews, she said. named Associate Director of the can be done.” Each month, people Today, Our Lady of Guadalupe Apostolate for Spanish-speaking donated an additional $5, $10 and in Danbury, which he founded, People for the greater Danbury $15 and held other fund-raising is a thriving parish with families area and became the first admin- activities. “Even with all this, faith from Puerto Rico, Mexico, the istrator of the Our Lady of and God had to complement our Dominican Republic, Colombia, Guadalupe Mission at St. Joseph human limitations,” Father wrote. Peru, El Salvador and Ecuador. Church in Danbury. In 1983, they found a 5-acre Six weekend masses draw wor- At first, the Spanish-speaking parcel of land, which they pur- shippers from towns in Fairfield community celebrated Mass chased for $70,000, and on June County and Westchester and as far in the lower-level chapel of St. 3, 1985, Bishop Walter W. Curtis away as the Bronx. Joseph’s. The mission was named blessed the cornerstone. A year- Father John Perez, the fourth after Our Lady of Guadalupe and-a-half later, the church was pastor, says there are 1,500 fami- because, as Father Fernandez completed. Some companies lies in the parish community and wrote in his history of the parish: worked for reduced fees, many 600 children are enrolled in the “The Virgin of Guadalupe was parishioners donated their time and catechism program. The parish has our guide and patron, the Mother talents, and one contractor let them groups devoted to the Sacred Heart of the Americas, who appeared use excavators free of charge. of Jesus, Our Lady of Mt. Carmel in 1531 to Juan Diego and said, The church was finished on and Our Lady of the Clouds from ‘Go to the bishop and ask him to December 12, 1986, the feast of Ecuador, along with parishio- build a chapel on this very spot Our Lady of Guadalupe, and ners who are charismatics and from which I can demonstrate on Sunday December 14, the Cursillistas. n 26 August 2020 Catholic Cemeteries Providing a Catholic Burial

By BRIAN WALLACE Ashes should not be divided up full casket may accommodate the between family members, “nor interment of two additional cre- BRIDGEPORT—With an may they be preserved in memen- mated remains. increasing number of Catholics tos, pieces of jewelry or other A single grave without any choosing cremation, diocesan objects.” casket can accommodate the inter- cemeteries have worked to create Guidelines instruct that cre- ment of three cremated remains. burial options that accommodate mated remains should be kept Those who prefer above-ground the wishes of families consistent in a “sacred place” such as a interment now also have the with Church teaching and funeral church cemetery, and that “By option of illuminated glass-front practices. burying the bodies of the faith- niches available in columbarium. Dean Gestal, director of ful, the Church confirms her “Diocesan cemeteries wish to Catholic Cemeteries in Diocese of faith in the resurrection of the offer these opportunities to family Bridgeport, says that over the last body, and intends to show the members for the respectful burial few months as many as half of the great dignity of the human body of their loved ones in order to give recent burials in the diocese have as an integral part of the human effective witness to the importance been cremations. person whose body forms part of of Christian burial and belief in The diocese has responded by their identity.” the resurrection of the body,” offering both inground interment Gestal says that in line with Gestal says. as well as columbarium niches Church teachings, diocesan ceme- There are 14 Catholic ceme- and mausoleums for cremated teries offer opportunities to family teries established throughout the remains. It is also working to members for the respectful burial diocese (Fairfield County) to serve make Catholics more aware that of their loved ones. the Catholic faithful and their if they choose cremation, they can “This includes the use of a wor- families, providing beautiful places have a Catholic Mass and funeral. thy vessel to contain the ashes, the of prayer and reflection. Dr. Patrick Donovan, director care and attention in which they Catholic cemeteries offer many of the Leadership Institute of the are transported and displayed and options and services including estate diocese, says the institute has the final disposition. Ultimately, lots to accommodate current and issued detailed funeral norms on the cremated remains should be future generations of the same fam- its website www.formationre- buried in a grave or entombed in ily, special areas on which to con- imagined.org/funeral-norms. The a mausoleum or columbarium,” struct family mausoleums, entomb- norms include frequently asked he says. ment in community mausoleums questions and address misconcep- Gestall says that what many and memorial design services. tions concerning cremation. families don’t realize is that if Gestal encourages people to con- According to Dr. Donovan, in they have an existing plot in a sider “pre-need” planning for them- 2017, the Vatican re-affirmed its cemetery, even if all of the spaces selves and their loved ones, so that 1963 decision that there are valid are filled, two cremated remains decisions do not have to be made sanitary, economic and social rea- can be placed above an existing when they are dealing with loss sons for cremation. The document inground burial, thereby making and emotional stress. Pre-planning from the doctrinal office teaches it possible to united generations of also gives families more time to visit that cremation is allowed, so long the same family in one cemetery. and select a cemetery and meet with as it isn’t chosen to deny hope in He said Catholic cemeteries cemetery representatives. the resurrection of the body. are also working with those who (For more on how to get However, it cautions that fam- have a loved one cremated as well this important information, call ilies should not have the ashes of as those who may have brought 203.416.1491. Visit the website, www. their loved ones scattered at sea or the ashes home after a funeral bridgeportdiocese.org/cemeteries, refer kept in urns at home, but properly service but have not yet interred to FFC and its website or tune in to buried with a Catholic funeral. them: single grave holding one Veritas Catholic Radio.) n 27 August 2020 Inspirational Speaker Providing a Catholic Burial Jeff Cavins, speaking online from St. Francis of Assisi WESTON—On September 11 world message inspires people on book, The Activated Disciple. and 12, Jeff Cavins will be speaking how to imitate God in order to Registration is required by August at St. Francis of Assisi in Weston, become an instrument for him to 28. Proceeds go towards the St. and his talks will be live streamed. transform the world. Francis of Assisi Women’s Guild Jeff Cavins is a much sought after Catholic inspirational speak- er, author and biblical scholar. He is the creator of the popular Great Adventure Bible Study program where he unlocks how to read the Bible in a way that is understand- able and relevant in today’s world. It helps readers discover the story of salvation history and how we fit into God’s plan. Cavins was also the founding host of the televi- sion show “Life on the Rock” on EWTN and the Morning Air radio program on Relevant Radio. On Friday, September 11, from 7-8 pm, Cavins will give an engag- ing talk on his conversion story, “We are excited to be hosting Scholarship Fund. ‘A rebel returns to his faith.’ Jeff Cavins”, said Father Jeffrey Online registration is at www. On Saturday September 12, Couture, pastor of St. Francis of stfrancisweston.org. Once reg- from 9:45 am to 2:15 pm, Cavins Assisi, “We are especially pleased istered, a password-protected will conduct a seminar entitled to open this to all faith communi- link and information on how to ‘The Activated Disciple: Taking ties in Fairfield County. We hear pick-up the book will be emailed your faith to the next level.’ As from many people that they are seven days in advance. If you he says in his book, “Practice Is hungry to renew and reactivate have any questions, please con- Over. It’s Game Time.” Cavins their faith. This is a unique oppor- tact WomensGuildSFA@gmail. will talk about moving beyond tunity for all of us to do that.” com. This event is sponsored believing and practicing to becom- The cost for both events is by the St. Francis of Assisi ing an activated disciple. His real- $75 and includes the cost of his Women’s Guild. n

Recent Passing from page 9 Preparatory School in 1969. He Guadalupe Church. echo of Mary’s petition was heard earned a degree from Fairfield A man known for his great here after 450 years. Perhaps Mary University and then began his devotion to Our Lady, he is wanted to have a sanctuary in this studies for the priesthood at remembered by a plaque that town.” Theological College, Catholic hangs at the entrance to the The faithful were convinced University in Washington, D.C. church, which says, “With that she did and began a campaign After his ordination on May honor and gratitude to Rev. to build their own church with the 5, 1970, Father Verrilli served Jose A. Fernandez, founder of slogan, “WITH GOD WE CAN.” as parochial vicar at St. Andrew the first Spanish church built in Several woman approached Father Parish in Bridgeport and then the Diocese of Bridgeport, Our Fernandez and said, “Father, if we began teaching in diocesan Lady of Guadalupe, Danbury, all put a dollar in each time we enter schools. He was at St. Joseph High Connecticut, 1976-1995. the church, something can be done.” School many years and later spir- Originally, the Spanish-speaking In 1983, they found a five-acre itual director at Trinity Catholic community celebrated Mass parcel of land, which they pur- School in Stamford and on the fac- in the lower-level chapel of St. chased for $70,000, and on June ulty of Notre Dame High School Joseph Church in Danbury. The 3, 1985, Bishop Walter W. Curtis in Fairfield. mission was named after Our blessed the cornerstone. The church He received a licentiate Lady of Guadalupe because, as was finished on December 12, 1986, degree in Canon Law at Catholic Father Fernandez wrote in his the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, University in 2001 and for many history of the parish: “The Virgin and on Sunday December 14, the years served as a judge in the dioc- of Guadalupe was our guide and first Mass was celebrated. Father esan Tribunal. He is survived by patron, the Mother of the Americas, Fernandez was named the first pas- his sister, Sr. Marie Verrilli SND. who appeared in 1531 to Juan tor and he served until 1995. Father Fernandez was Diego and said, ‘Go to the bishop Today, Our Lady of Guadalupe one of the early leaders of the and ask him to build a chapel on Parish has its own church and Spanish-speaking community this very spot from which I can rectory. Worshippers come from in the Diocese of Bridgeport, demonstrate my maternal vigilance towns in Fairfield County and whose vision and faith led to and give compassionate assistance Westchester and as far away as the the construction of Our Lady of to those who ask for it.’ Maybe the Bronx. n 28 August 2020 Sports St. Joe’s beloved hockey coach’s death saddens many

By DON HARRISON

A life devoted to playing and coaching the sport he embraced seemingly from infancy— hockey— ended much too soon for Edward “Eddy” LeMaire. The head coach of St. Joseph High’s boys hockey team succumbed to a heart attack on July 11. He was just 53 years old.

“Eddy was incredible with the kids, a wonderful teacher of the game,” said an aggrieved Kevin Butler, St. Joe’s assistant princi- pal for athletics. “Many of the Edward “Eddy” LeMaire juniors and seniors on our team had played for him since they promise last year, and we were 85 and 1986-87 seasons, and the were five years old. He was truly looking forward to a strong sea- Sudbury Wolves Junior A team a player’s coach.” son this year. in 1985-86. LeMaire had been the Cadets’ “ Coach was able to connect Professional hockey beckoned, head coach the past four seasons, with everybody. Everyone knew and so he brought his skills to a period that encompassed just 18 that he demanded 110 percent Le Vesinet, France, an affluent wins and 1 tie against 60 defeats. because that’s how you get better suburb of Paris, where he played Earlier, he had served as an assis- as individuals and especially as from 1987-89 and once led tant to the program’s founding a team. Coach Eddy was in the France’s B Division in scoring. coach, Marty Crouse, from 2010 game his entire life… he had so Coaching became his pas- to 2013, when St. Joe’s followed much knowledge of the game sion thereafter, and he shared up on its 2009 CIAC Division III and always knew what had to his hockey expertise at various state title with successive appear- be done. Everyone on the team levels, with private lessons, at ances in state championship knew he was an incredible hock- multiple age levels and several games in 2010 (Division II) and ey mind and player; he was poet- hockey schools, as coach of the 2011 (Division I). ry on ice.” Yale Junior Hockey Bulldogs “He was not only one of the Eddy LeMaire was just five and the Wonderland Wizards best hockey coaches and players years old when his father, Louis, of Bridgeport. It was said he I saw, he was a good all-around began teaching him the game’s touched the lives of thousands guy,” Crouse noted. basics. The senior LeMaire, also of students…boys, girls, men, Defenseman Liam Gelston, a lifelong player-turned-coach, women…and in the words of his who was just four years old when helped to hone his son’s natural sister, Janet Lockwood, “treat- he met LeMaire for the first time gifts into the outstanding player ed every student as if he were a at The Rinks at Shelton Hockey he became. champion.” 101—and served as St. Joe’s At East Haven High One of the state’s most assistant captain as a junior last School, Eddy starred for the respected collegiate coaches, winter – underscored Crouse’s Yellowjackets as a junior and C.J. Marattolo of Sacred Heart summation of Eddy’s coaching senior, earning All-Housatonic University, expressed his sorrow expertise. League hockey honors at center. when he learned of LeMaire’s “As a team, we recognized He established a school record passing. “He was one of the best that remaining in Division I with 182 points and, in 2007, was players in Connecticut in his era, and working hard to support inducted into the high school’s great hands and hockey IQ. He the coaches as they looked to Alumni Hall of Fame. was a kind soul. RIP my friend!” retool the team was important,” LeMaire’s ardor for the game he tweeted. Gelston said. “This created a few led to him to Canada for three “He was more than just a challenging years record-wise, for years, where he played for the coach, he was a legend,” Gelston sure, but the system Coach Eddy Chatham Maroons Western said. “I loved him, the team was employing really showed Junior B team during the1984- loved him, and he loved us.” n 29 August 2020 Column: Thomas Hicks We are the sum of our relationships my wife entered my life. After a while, I often tire of being with Potpourri other people. I could be with her for hours and hours and not be By Thomas H. Hicks tired for an instant of her. I die as often from thee I go, Though it be but an hour ago. (John Donne, The Legacy) Thomas Hicks is a member Many happily married people feel this way. of St. Theresa Parish in Trumbull. The elderly often develop relationships in which the two of them complement each other f we examine our person- were relationships in which we wonderfully. There are the long al histories, we will find a took an immediate dislike to years of affectionate understand- story of relationships. In a each other. Saint Seraphim of ing between them. Hurts and real sense, we are the sum Sarov addressed each person annoyances that might otherwise I end a relationship no longer have of our relationships. The human who came to him as “my joy.” person was created, designed, to My response to too many people the last word. They’ve grown be in relationship with others. We was, “You again?” There were very close, close to death and cannot be truly ourselves by our- the relationships that did not close to each other. They sort of selves. I read somewhere that a stand the test of time. fuse together in these last years. thing that does not exist in rela- Writers and philosophers of All of us, as we age, tend to tion to anything else cannot itself our time speak of existential iso- be able to discern more and more be said to exist. To really grow lation. They take the view that when to act, how to act, what to as a human being, we need other no relationship can surmount say, and often more importantly, people. We only become who we loneliness; no one has access to what not to say. We learn not to are through the relationships that the real depths of another. strike the wrong note. shape our lives. There is Martin Albert Schweitzer said we are John of the Cross tells us we Buber’s famous conclusion that each a secret to the other. Freud are like a stone that must be chis- “all real living is meeting.” stated that every encounter, eled and fashioned before being Lately I’ve been trying to beautiful as it may seem, only set in the building. Our relation- think of all those whom I’ve met dulls the incurable wound of ships are instruments which God in my life in one way or another; loneliness. Flannery O’Connor uses to chisel us. They are part those who went with me along wrote “I love a lot of people, of God’s plan. By means of these the path of life. Not too many understand none of them.” chiseling interactions we become came in a way that I planned or (Spiritual Writings, p.161). And more the self God wants us to be. contrived. Most relationships W.H. Auden wrote: We should think of some of our sort of found me. There’s a “I’m beginning to lose relationships as artisans, present mystery to it. People come into patience there in order to improve us. our lives and go out of our lives, With my personal relations: Overall, I believe there are sometimes only for a few min- They are not deep, people God has given us. I won- utes. For example, I remember, And they are not cheap.” der if there are any accidental from many years ago, an early (Shorts) meetings, or is grace and prov- Saturday morning on the DeKalb I don’t think life is exclusively idence at work in all of them? Avenue subway station. I was like this. A number of people Some people do come to us at standing on the platform. She became very dear to me. As crucial times. There are certain was wearing a black coat. She Carson McCullers stated, they people who come to us like a gift had jeans on and was drinking became “the we of me” (The from heaven. Most of our hurts coffee. One strand of her hair Member of the Wedding, p. come through relationships, so blew across her cheek, touching 137). I can’t imagine the world does our healing. the corners of her mouth. There without them. They’ve got to be We develop an ever-deepen- was some eye contact, glances. there just as naturally as trees or ing gratitude and wonder for all We got on the same car. We birds or clouds. Without them those who have loved us both got off at Grand Central, I would be incomplete; I would I have two particularly poi- and then I lost her. In retrospect no longer be me. A dear friend gnant memories. One is how I I wish I had approached her. like this moving out of your life felt my throat tighten when I There are all the people to is almost as much of a loss as a watched an elderly woman reach whom I must by now be the mer- death. for her husband’s hand as they est memory. I think all people’s lives strolled down the sidewalk. The When I think back over my involve such we-relationships. other is a memory of how my own life, I recall the relation- They are among the best things wife would make room for me ships that were formal and God handed us. beside her on a couch and spread distant. My main emotion with I can’t help thinking that I a quilt across our laps and rest some people was unease. There didn’t have a real biography until her head on my shoulder. n 30 August 2020 Column: Joe Pisani “Lord, help me!”

child has been diagnosed with cancer or she’s depressed about her Swimming Upstream family situation, ask Jesus what you should say before you open your By Joe Pisani mouth, and the Holy Spirit will guide you. Ask Jesus what to do in every situation, and he’ll lead you. Sometimes, silent compassion Joe Pisani has been a writer is the answer. Less preaching and more listening is always a good and editor for 30 years. rule to follow. Wonderful things occur when we offer to help Jesus. He can work miracles through us or most of my life, when pray harder than ever before. without our even knowing. I knelt in front of the cru- However, the day came when I We live at a critical time when cifix to pray, my prayer knelt before the Eucharist with my countless souls are being lost— went something like this: laundry list of petitions, and for a souls that Jesus wants saved. We F live at a time when there’s a lot “Lord, help me.” Actually, it moment it seemed that Jesus was went something like this: “LORD, saying, “Help me.” What could the of talk about justice and love but HELP ME!!! PLEASE!!!” Son of God need from me? much more anger and hatred. I always remember to say My prayer eventually became It’s one thing to talk the talk, and “please,” which seems only appro- “Lord, how may I help?” What a another to walk the walk. priate when you’re begging the curious concept that the God who Never doubt that you can make Lord of the Universe for emer- made Heaven and Earth should need a difference. It doesn’t have to be a gency assistance. And like most the help of fallen, imperfect crea- new program, a major speech or a people, I’ve needed all kinds of tures. And yet if you look around political rally. When small imper- emergency assistance for a variety you, you’ll realize the harvest is great ceptible acts are spiritually charged of personal crises: children straying and the laborers are few. by Jesus, they have a vastly greater from the faith, family members suf- Be assured that Jesus needs our effect than highly publicized ini- fering the ravages of cancer, friends help, and it doesn’t require a PhD tiatives with a cast of thousands. afflicted with addiction, relation- or special training or a flashy title, Sometimes all we’re called to do is ships torn apart, and worst of all, only a commitment to do his will plant the seed and Jesus does the people despairing because their in every moment and to turn your rest. We may never see the results lives were in shambles, and they life over to him every morning. of our actions until the next life. couldn’t see that the only possible The game plan is pretty simple. If A smile, a display of compassion, solution was the only one they you give him your day, he’ll do great silent listening, laughter, prayer. weren’t considering—Jesus. things. He’ll also tell you moment by These seem to be the smallest ges- Others were dealing with the death moment how you can help even if tures but they’re the greatest gestures of a spouse, or tragically, the death of you don’t think you have the ability. to Christ, who deserves all the glory. a child, the loss of a job, emotional Your deficiencies won’t matter Never underestimate what you abuse—a seemingly infinite number because his grace is all you’ll need. can do with Jesus beside you. And of reasons to look at Jesus on the cross It will strengthen you when you’re never doubt for a moment that he and plead, “Lord, help us!” afraid, and it will supplement your is calling you to serve day to day Then, something happened. It’s meager abilities. What he told St. and moment to moment in situa- not that the list of reasons to petition Paul applies to all of us: “My grace tions that may seem commonplace Jesus had gotten shorter. In fact, is sufficient for you, for my power and ordinary. Heed the call. it had gotten longer. Look at the is made perfect in weakness.” “Lord, how may I help you?” world, and you’ll recognize immedi- When a friend comes to you Say it every morning, and he will ately there are countless reasons to because her husband died or her answer you. n

Priest explores ancient message from page 22 longings of our hearts,” Father lives of our true selves.” “Just by having a place in the Bochanski says. “Whatever it is In our age, we tend to think house or apartment set aside for that we are going through, what- of holiness as “getting rid of all prayer, where you can go and ever sacrifices we are called to our fun, getting rid of our per- shut the door, as Jesus said in the make, whatever conversion needs sonalities, getting rid of anything Sermon on the Mount, we can also to take place, whatever detach- that makes us unique,” he said. bring a little of the desert into our ment, whatever penance—the goal “We think of holiness as some- homes and neighborhoods and is always purity of the heart. We thing oppressive when in reality, really find God in a more intense suffer in many ways and struggle holiness is living fully the life way,” he said. “It can purify our with many things, and there is a that God has given us. Then, we hearts and give us the strength and constant battle against self, but understand more clearly what his grace that we need. Then, we can none of it is in vain if it is leading plans are for us and for our lives.” go back to the rest of our family, go us to a deeper relationship with Even though we may not go back to our workplace, go back to God—the God who created us. into the desert, Father says we need our regular life and bring with us And this always means a fuller, to embrace some of their practices what we received from the Lord in freer, more fulfilling living of the and spirituality in our lives. those little desert moments.” n 31 August 2020 ¡Celebremos nuestra fe! “Lord, help me!” Un programa online en español hecho por milenios

Por MARICARMEN GODOY párroco, sino de miles de fieles de Radio María o tener sus propias toda América Latina, incluyendo: transmisiones En Vivo vía Face BRIDGEPORT—El programa New Jersey, New York, España y Book Live o Youtube Live con virtual de la Diócesis de Bridgeport Connecticut. invitados dentro de una tarima y conocido como “Faith Friday”, Celebremos la Fe, entonces, hasta con público para que ellos se trasladó al español bajo el pasó a ser un programa netamente tengan la opción de hacer pregun- nombre de “¡Celebremos nuestra inter-activo de reflexiones y eso tas, el sacerdote respondió “que fe!, donde su presentador el P. le ha dado un nivel de confianza no es de su afán planificar algo Abelardo Vásquez, toma textos en sus seguidores que esperan con parecido, pero que si en el camino bíblicos, la cultura latina y hace un ansias que sean las 9 de la noche la vida le lleva por ese rumbo así acompañamiento espiritual a los hora de la costa este de Estados lo hará”. fieles católicos a través de las redes sociales. El programa, que semana a semana es conducido por el P. Abelardo Vásquez, sacerdote colombiano de la Diócesis de Bridgeport, actual párroco de la iglesia de Saint Charles de Borromeo en Bridgeport, se mane- ja tal cual se operan las presenta- ciones pautadas en los medios de comunicación. Es supervisado y producido por John Grosso, Director de Comunicaciones de la Diócesis; pero en vez de un equipo de técnicos salidos de las escuelas de comunicación, tiene un séquito de milenios voluntarios que se encar- Unidos para conectarse. Por ahora, el P. Abelardo qui- gan de monitorear la tecnología y Por lo que ha motivado al P. ere seguir usando la forma tradi- como si fuera una producción de Abelardo a seguir experimentando cional de comunicarse con sus fie- Hollywood hasta cuentan: “¡ Tres, nuevos segmentos y nuevas esce- les a través de la Palabra de Jesús, dos, uno: grabando!. nografías que van desde las loca- pero bajo la guía del Espíritu El primer programa que nació ciones de un templo con el fondo Santo con el fin no solo de hacer antes de Navidad fue a conse- del altar mayor o el jardín primo- reflexiones sino de orar juntos y cuencia de asistir a un desayuno roso de algún convento o a los pies vivir la fe en forma viva y real. con Grosso, quien le dijo al P. de alguna imagen religiosa. Entonces, recordó que en mayo Abelardo: “creo que como tú eres “Me emociona que nos para celebrar la consagración a joven te quedaría perfecto presen- escuchen y vean en España u otros la virgen María ofreció un taller tar el programa ‘F Friday” que países porque para ellos es de de “Mariología” por 31 días con- se realiza con mucho éxito en la madrugada o bien llegada la noche secutivos y debido a la pandemia Diócesis de Bridgeport”, contó y eso habla de que el contenido del COVID 19 debió hacerlo como anécdota el P. Ablelardo. está realmente construyendo la en tiempo real a través del Face La idea era reproducir en evangelización y motivando la fe”, Book Live y actualmente las misas español el “F Friday”, que es un repuso el sacerdote. dominicales de la iglesia de Saint programa de evangelización en Para las grabaciones de su Charles de Borromeo se realizan inglés, pero el P. Abelardo tenía programa, al que no quiere que le de la misma manera. en mente, en cambio, un programa llamen “show” porque considera “Tenemos como protocolo similar pero en audio tal como que aunque usa locaciones, tec- de sanidad recibir en cada misa si fuera un “Audio Book” para nología y herramientas propias dominical a cien feligreses a ser enviados por la aplicación de de los medios de comunicación y quienes antes de la misa les toma- WhatsApp a sus fieles. hasta ya se acostumbró a utilizar mos la temperatura, les ubicamos El formato debió ser cam- términos propios del argot de los en sus puestos guardando la sana biado porque el Director de medios como: locaciones, ilumi- distancia y desinfectamos sus Comunicaciones de la Diócesis nación, escenografía, audio, online manos; entonces, quienes NO le apostaba al Face Book Live y streeming (en vivo por pantalla); pueden estar en forma presencial, y al Youtube con el fin de que es un espacio de reflexiones tal pues, siguen la eucaristía por Face se extienda el concepto. “¡Y dio como él lo hace en el púlpito o en Book Live”, repuso y recordó que resultado!, evoca el P. Abelardo; una reunión de catequesis. las misas son en inglés, español, porque, ahora, sus seguidores no Y al preguntarle si es que portugués (brasileños) y crio- son solamente son los parroqui- estaría dispuesto a pedir a la llo-francés (haitianos) porque aun- anos de la Diócesis ni de la iglesia Diócesis un espacio de comuni- que es una sola parroquia sirven a de Saint Charles donde él es su cación dentro de la barra de la cuatro comunidades étnicas. n 32 August 2020 ‘Conversation on Race’ Webinar series launched

By ELIZABETH CLYONS series is designed to inform those invite all people of faith to conver- who attend about the sin of racism sion. We are called to open our BRIDGEPORT—The dio- and the Church’s teaching regard- minds and hearts to Christ’s love cese has launched a new webinar ing it, the many forms that racism for all people and to the experienc- series, “Conversation on Race,” to and bigotry can take, its history es of those who have been harmed explore the issue of race and the in our society and the personal, by the evil of racism. Catholic Church. economic and social consequences “We cannot tolerate or turn a The webinar series, produced by the diocesan Leadership Institute and featuring talks by teachers and pastoral ministers, began on July 30 will run through September 3. The talks will be live-streamed at 1 pm each Thursday and then rebroadcast at 7 pm each evening, with a ques- tion and answer sessions moderat- ed by a member of the diocesan ad hoc committee against racism. Bishop Frank J. Caggiano called for the “Conversation on Race,” to that racism has had on the lives of blind eye to racism and exclusion explore the issue of race within the generations of people. in any form and yet claim to defend diocese and its institutions, to sup- Scheduled talks include: the sacredness of every human life,” port diversity and multi-culturalism August 13—Gloria said Pope Francis, June 3, 2020. within the Church and the commu- Purvis: Topic TBD In June of this year Bishop nity, and to discuss racism within August 20—Armando Cervantes Caggiano formed an ad hoc com- the context of Catholic Social Beyond Black: Multicultural Voices mittee against racism to response Teaching. August 27—Pamela Harris: to the call for change in the Church “Without proper knowledge, Race and Catholic Social Teaching and the larger community. The effective and thoughtful action September 3—Dr. Marcia committee includes clergy and is not possible. For this rea- Chatelain Living the Faith, Living religious, as well as lay men and son, I invite all to join in these Antiracism women who will develop a strate- ‘Conversations on Race’ as we Talks are Thursdays at 1 pm. gic vision and practical steps to fos- begin to respond in faith to this In November 2018, the United ter diversity and work for equality. most important issue,” said States Conference of Catholic The webinar series is spon- Bishop Caggiano. Bishops approved a new pastoral sored by the Leadership Institute, According to Dr. Patrick letter against racism, Open Wide the diocesan ad-hoc committee Donovan, director of the Our Hearts: The Enduring Call against racism and the Apostolate Leadership Institute, the webinar to Love. In the letter, the bishops of African American Catholics. n Ad hoc committee virtual meeting By ELIZABETH CLYONS religious, as well as lay men and long-term change.” women who will develop a strate- The bishop began by updat- BRIDGEPORT—On a late gic vision and practical steps for ing the group that Foundations June afternoon, Bishop Frank J. the diocesan response to the sin in Faith has secured upwards of $40,000 for any initiatives that may come out of the committee. Bishop Caggiano also announced that he has been appointed to the USCCB’s ad hoc committee against racism, which would make for a good opportunity to share resources and ideas amongst the groups. It was discussed that The Leadership Institute will host several webinars this summer to Caggiano gathered virtually with of racism. advance the conversation about the diocesan appointed ad hoc “I am very grateful for your racism, cultural diversity and how committee against racism for their willingness to come together to simply by listening to one anoth- first meeting. address this particular moment er, we can begin to affect change. This committee was estab- of opportunity and grace in our (For complete details on the lished as a response to the call for midst,” said the bishop. “It is an webinars and to register, please visit change in our communities. The opportunity to take a tragedy and The Leadership Institute’s website at committee includes clergy and make it a real opportunity for www.formationreimagined.org.) n 33 August 2020 Sacred Heart U Webinar series launched Program helps students in recovery

By JOE PISANI “We have every possible are an integral part of the campus resource that anyone would need,” community.” FAIRFIELD—James was just he said. In order to be part of the Bill Mitchell, a trustee of another young person thinking program, students must have a Sacred Heart since 2002 and Vice about his future. At 21, he had his desire to stop using drugs or alco- Chairman of Mitchell Family entire life ahead of him, and he hol through an abstinence-based Stores, was the driving force behind was considering the possibilities, lifestyle. the program. while lying on the sofa in his par- The mission of the program, Mitchell, who has been in ents’ Westchester home. Cafran said, is “to create a safe and recovery 29 years, approached As he saw it, there were three supportive educational environ- the school’s president, Dr. John J. options: suicide, dying from drugs ment where students in recovery Petillo with the idea and received and alcohol...or sobriety. He chose from substance use disorders can an overwhelmingly positive sobriety. be the best version of themselves response. That was four years ago. Today, and live to their best academic “Recovery saved my life, and it James Cafran is the coordinator potential, and to give every student gave me a life,” said Mitchell, who of the Sacred Heart University the best possible chance at achiev- provided a significant gift to the Collegiate Recovery Program, ing success through physical, men- university to start the program. which began operations last fall tal and spiritual growth.” He also traveled around the and is among a growing number of Sacred Heart also has a partner- country to see what other col- college programs in the country. ship with Progressive Institute, a leges were doing and visited the A lounge in the Main Academic counseling organization in Shelton University of Alabama, which has Building provides a place for that treats people with mental one of the leading programs in the 12-Step meetings along with yoga health and substance abuse issues nation. When Sacred Heart began and meditation classes. The area is and provides clinical services for developing the program, it turned available to any students struggling students who suffer from addiction. to Caron Treatment Centers, an with addiction or related issues so Liz Modugno, the clinical internationally recognized not-for- they can gather and talk. director at Progressive Institute, profit organization that specializes “This lounge makes people said, “We’ll be able to assess each in addiction and behavioral health- know they are not alone,” Cafran student to see what their needs care treatment. said. “It’s where students can meet are...and work with Sacred Heart “What family do you know that other students in similar situations. to offer individual therapy, group doesn’t have someone suffering They can just hang out and talk. therapy and other services that pro- addiction?” Mitchell said. “We It’s all about knowing someone mote wellness and recovery.” stepped up to the plate and did who has been through, or who By next September, the univer- what we did as a Catholic school. is going through, what you are. sity plans to create a sober living People want their kids to come to Whether they’re talking about space at the Scholars Common for Sacred Heart because of the charac- being sober or whatever, it’s about four students in recovery, Cafran ter of the school. We are a school having that bond and feeling com- said. A graduate assistant will that believes in Catholic education, fortable.” share their living arrangements and we support a culture of hard Cafran, who has been in recov- in the apartment. To be eligible, work, faith, honesty, niceness, ery since 2016, is available to students will be required to have kindness ... and now we have talk with students facing similar some type of grounding, whether a recovery.” Ad hoc committee virtual meeting challenges. “Everything is confi- 12-Step sponsor, a recovery coach Over the years, Mitchell has dential. They can contact me to or participation in a program. helped many individuals in recov- inquire about the program, and I Larry Wielk, dean of students, ery and has been a friend and men- will maintain their anonymity,” said the program has been extreme- tor to several Sacred Heart students he said. ly well received by the Sacred striving to live clean and sober. “We have people who have Heart community. “When we send James Cafran was one of them. problems with drugs, alcohol a global out to the community, “I could not have gotten this done and life and are discontent with promoting an activity sponsored by without James,” Mitchell said. “I themselves—and that is all really the Collegiate Recovery Program, took him before the board of trust- the same thing,” he said. “These we always get a response with ees, and James told his story. You students are helping me with my someone telling us their personal could hear a pin drop. Then, the own sobriety, whether they know it story or the story of a friend or board voted approval.” or not. I’m grateful for the people loved one. This program seems to Cafran’s message to students is who come here and let me tell my touch a lot of folks on campus,” one of hope and encouragement. story, and if they get something he said. It’s also a simple message: “If you out of it, it’s a better high than “It’s all about second, and third get sober now, at such a young anything.” and maybe even fourth chances,” age, you will have your whole life In addition to 12-Step meetings, Wielk said. “These are strong stu- ahead of you. I’m super grateful I there are all-inclusive recovery ses- dents who suffer from a disease got sober at a young age,” he said sions for young people who may that they are fighting back against. “But it is just for today.” not be in a program but are seek- And for us, it is a chance to partner (For more information about the ing some type of recovery in their with them to successfully complete recovery program, contact James lifestyle or who are dealing with this part of their journey and give Cafran, Recovery Coordinator, at friends or family members strug- them the tools and structure they 914.849.8590 or cafranj@sacredheart. gling with substance abuse. need, as well as to make sure they edu.) n 34 August 2020 St. Vincent’s Helping patients find God in crisis

By JOE PISANI When Deacon Bolton was their lives when they let you in. In ordained in 2006, he was originally those encounters, you can let them BRIDGEPORT—The seed of assigned to St. James Church but know they are not alone.” Tim Bolton’s vocation was planted was later given permission to do his Deacon Bolton manages the shortly after his daughter Kaitlin ministry full-time at St. Vincent’s, Pastoral Care Department at St. was born with a chromosomal where he began working in 2011. Vincent’s under the direction of Bill abnormality in 1993. “My youngest The challenges his family has Hoey, Vice President of Mission. daughter taught me,” he says. confronted helped him understand “Pastoral care has been an inte- At the time, he and his wife God’s plan and recognize the needs gral part of how we provide care at Mary Ellen were members of St. James Church in Stratford, where they were embraced by the faith community, who brought them meals, prayed rosaries and held a benefit for them when the insur- ance company refused to pay for Kaitlin’s final surgery. “It was an unbelievable gath- ering of people, prayer, love and faith,” he recalls. “I really saw what a Christian community is like. My of others facing a medical crisis. St. Vincent’s since we were founded vocation to the permanent diacon- “It is really the grace of God,” by the Daughters of Charity, and ate was born that day and evolved he said. “We have lived through a we have been blessed with some of over the next ten years. And Fr. lot and also experienced great love, the most gifted chaplains imagin- Tom Lynch cultivated that call.” unlike any family has ever experi- able,” Hoey said. Today, Deacon Tim Bolton, enced from the community.” There are lay and priest chap- who left his family business after Mary Ellen, who is principal at lains. The priests celebrate Mass, the Recession, extends that same Jane Ryan School in Trumbull, has administer the Sacrament of the compassion, care, prayer and gone through three bouts of cancer Sick, hear confessions and some- presence to others in his assign- over the past 20 years. times do a crisis baptism. They pro- ment at Hartford HealthCare, St. “I saw the need for people to vide spiritual support to all patients, Vincent’s Medical Center, where have someone to talk to while she even those who are not Catholic, he is Manager of the Pastoral Care was in the hospital,” he recalled. Hoey said. Department. “And I learned about the clinical “They are not just here to bring “A hospital is a container for surrounding when Kaitlin went for the Eucharist to a Catholic patient,” everything from the beginning of treatment....I know what it is like in he said. “They provide a full array life to the end of life and everything the newborn intensive care when a of chaplain services and will offer in between that is imaginable or doctor says to a family, ‘We need support to a Jehovah Witness or a unimaginable,” he says. “It is an to do an MRI on the baby’s brain Muslim or a member of the Jewish amazing environment to be part of lesions.’ I know what it is like, and I faith, or even a person of no faith.” and see people offering themselves can be in that place with them.” Very often when a patient in the service of others. As a chap- Deacon Bolton calls himself “a receives a life-altering diagnosis, lain, you get to observe everything trench guy” and says a fundamental it raises the question of “Where is through the lens of faith. We see part of his ministry is to accompany God in all this?” A medical crisis, more than other clinical disciplines people. “I identify with the mystery he says, provides an opportunity for do because we participate across the of accompaniment and presence to people to re-examine their lives and spectrum. We see patients receiving help people feel comfortable and their relationship with God. a diagnosis, going through treat- meet them where they are, while “We all get so busy in our day- ments, at the start of life and at the trying to have a healthy humility,” to-day lives that those may not end of life with prayers of commen- he said. be questions we ask,” Hoey said. dation at their bedside.” He tells the story of a woman “But if you get a blocked artery Very often, he says, family mem- dying of cancer, who asked if she or renal disease, it can provoke a bers see themselves at the foot of the and her husband could renew their crisis as well as the receptivity to cross, like the Blessed Mother and wedding vows. Several months take a look at spiritual issues— St. John, with no power to influ- before she passed away, they were and what better person to help ence the outcome. They are present joined by their family members and you than a well-trained chaplain?” to their loved one and recognize, friends at the vineyard where she “Many patients are very recep- some for the first time, the possibili- worked. In the barn, with her gown tive to them because it is a different ty of the Resurrection. on, she and husband renewed their component of care,” Hoey said. “We have this opportunity to be vows. Deacon Bolton later went to “Just as important as medical with families and frame for them her home, where she was receiving treatment is the question of ‘Am I through the lens of faith their part in Hospice care, and did the prayers right with God?’ Having a trained, the Passion and see their loved one of commendation while her family empathetic, compassionate chap- as a unique reflection of the image and friends were present. lain fulfills the goal of reverent of Christ, a reflection of the image “I really feel privileged to do the holistic care. They are right there the world has never seen before,” work I do,” he said, “It is a privilege near your hospital bed. It brings he said. to accompany people at moments in the Church to the people.” n