The original Captain Corelli tells a new story: Louis de Bernières on varsity.co.uk

The Independent Cambridge Student Newspaper since 1947 | varsity.co.uk | Friday November 03 2006 | Issue 645 Ents Manager loses Crowd Control »CUSU night closes after only 40 attend

ALICE WHITWHAM News Editor

CUSUents’ major new club night, Crowd Control, has closed after levels of attendance failed to reach the required targets. It was revealed to Varsity that only 40 people had passed through the doors of the 720 capacity Soul Tree on Monday 23 October, the last night of Crowd Control. Soul Tree was forced to end the night around midnight having deemed the provision of further entertainments to be futile. CUSUents had based their years’ budget on making £7000 from the Crowd Control night. In the same week, CUSUents Manager Peter Brizio took the step of trying to entice clubbers to The Sunday Service, another CUSUents’ night held at Club Twenty-Two, JOE GOSDEN through a guest-list competition to Last week’s Sunday Service: The congregation though large in number was somewhat slow to arrive win individual bottles of free alcohol marketed as “champagne”. have only so far recovered £2300, not One King’s second year who attended more every evening than it did under It had been hoped that both enough to balance the £3000 CUSUents Crowd Control on its night of lowest Shah’s stewardship. Brizio claimed nights would help to fill the sub- investment in the evening. attendance told Varsity it had been “a that the Sunday Service evening at stantial hole in CUSUents’ finances, Brizio told Varsity “the night was joke”, whilst another clubber asked Club Twenty-Two also managed to a hangover from the failure to col- never allowed the chance to grow”, but “how can you expect a night to suc- attract 110 more revellers than the lect revenues from CUSU’s popular when Varsity presented this to Soul ceed when there are so few people to rival Hawks’ Club night at Soul Tree Urbanite evening at Soul Tree last Tree, General Manager Benjie begin with?”. last week, despite the apparent year. It emerged during the course Hamilton responded that the night Despite the problems associated social kudos of the Hawks’ Club. One of the investigation into Crowd needed “a few customers to grow on”. with Crowd Control, it would appear Selwyn fresher described last week’s Control’s collapse that the monies Despite Brizio’s belief that the evening that CUSUents’ other clubnights Sunday Service as being “particular- lost in the debacle could have been a could have grown into a successful one, have remained remarkably success- ly well organised with the lot more than first thought. Hamilton explained that the cancella- ful. The Tuesday night “Kinki” pro- “feel of a real club night”. Another CUSUents were expecting to tion was a “mutual decision”, and sug- motion at Ballare attracted 1300 attendee called it “one of the receive £21,000 from the new ven- gested that CUSUents had also been clubbers in Freshers’ Week and con- ture but according to current accounts unconvinced of the night’s potential. tinues to attract on average 200 CONTINUED ON PAGE 2 FEATURES ARTS FASHION Manage your Its good up Tread the ARTS & money North, Cambridge FEATURES honest Catwalk »PAGE 14 »PAGE 21 »PAGE 32

2 varsity.co.uk/news | 03.11.06

Write for Varsity News: Newsdesk Meet 5.30pm Sundays in King’s College Bar In Brief Battle of the clubnights Number of science RSPCA award for »Revellers drawn by free “champagne” graduates seriously Holley the Collie CONTINUED FROM FRONT PAGE Welfare Officer Sam Rose was “fully aware of what we were doing”. Yet overestimated A dog who was found tied up and left to best nights I have yet had in when Varsity questioned him further, die at the side of a road has been Cambridge”. Rose agreed that giving out free alco- Admissions Officer at the Faculty for crowned Eastern England's RSPCA But controversy remains about the hol did encourage student drinking. KATY LEE Mathematics, partly attributes this to dog of the year. Holley the Collie, now Moreover, this comes in the wake of the use of quotas by some colleges. a Cambridge resident, was muzzled CUSU President Mark Ferguson’s Top scientists have accused the gov- “As far as we can tell, we do not seem and left covered in bruises from kicks “It’s difficult proposed campaign to encourage ernment of seriously overestimating to be turning away suitable students,” and punches when she was found four responsible drinking in Cambridge. the number of graduates leaving he said. “If there has been a national years ago, but has now overcome her starting from The latest CUSUents promotional British universities with science and decline or increase in Mathematics, it fears and anxieties. RSPCA organiser drive for the Sunday Service night maths degrees. would be unlikely to affect the top end Pat Atkinson said “Holley’s story square one. You involves giving away a free Apple A report published by the Royal of the spectrum from which our stu- brought a real tear to my eye. She’s iMac computer. Society last week claimed that a rise in dents are drawn.” managed to overcome all the obstacles have to hedge Simon Calder, who organises inde- the number of Mathematics and Biology But concerns are being expressed life has thrown at her.” John Walker pendent student clubnights in graduates shown in government figures that not enough British students are your bets the Cambridge with company TeNTs, was “apparent rather than real”. It laid choosing traditional science courses. emphasised the difficulty of success- the blame on changes to the way in Cambridge top right way” ful promotion. For a good clubnight, which students on combined courses Calder said that “a large turnout and are assigned to subject areas. “stagnation of in humanities big bands” are needed. He added The Royal Society had commis- A recent survey by the Times Higher that “It’s difficult starting from sioned the Higher Education graduations Educational Supplement (THES) has square one. You have to hedge your Statistics Agency (HESA) to voted Cambridge the best place in the nature of the rivalry between the bets the right way.” reanalyse their previous statistics on from traditional world to study the arts and humani- competing Hawks’ and CUSUents’ A new budget, revised by CUSU university graduates. HESA’s initial ties. This is considered by some as a promotions on Sunday Services Officer Ashley figures showed a 35 per cent rise in science courses” significant achievement in light of evenings. Brizio accused the Aarons, with the assistance the number of Mathematics graduates American universities’ sizeable Hawks’ evening of being of Brizio indicates that between 1995/6 and 2004/5. The actual research funding. One professor “largely based around CUSUents hope to make rise was found to be only 7.4 per cent. praised the emphasis on research led drinking games”. But, £71,500 from the three The report argues that the original teaching, while another highlighted when pressed by Varsity remaining CUSU-run statistics masked the true stagnation the large degree of autonomy each fac- on the welfare issues sur- nights over the course of of graduations from traditional science Last month, the University of ulty has here at the University as a rounding the distribution this year. This figure is courses. The increase in Biological Reading announced the closure of reason for the success. Simon Allen of free bottles of “cham- greater than the £63,000 Sciences graduates was in fact due to their Physics department, following pagne” to those who man- that CUSUents was hop- more students taking subjects such as similar closures at Exeter, Swansea aged to put together the ing to make from its club Sports Science and Psychology. In and at some London colleges. “There Intel lab closure largest guest-list for the nights under the old budget. 1994/5, Biology students formed 31 are concerns over whether the edu- Sunday Service, he replied Whether this is a realistic tar- per cent of the Biological Sciences cation system can provide enough Intel is to close its research labs at the that get remains to grouping; they now form only 17 per scientifically skilled people for the University’s West Cambridge cam- CUSU be seen. cent. In contrast, Psychology students UK to be a globally competitive econ- pus. Closure of the lab, which opened now account for 47 per cent, up from omy,” said Professor Judith Howard, in March 2003, is planned for 33 per cent. Chair of the Royal Society’s Higher December as part of downsizing the In Cambridge, applications for Education Working Group. “It is corporation. Over the past few years, Mathematics and Natural Sciences extremely important that we Cambridge has formed close links have remained steady for the last have a sound picture, based on con- with Intel. A University spokesperson Peter Brizio decade. Dr Stephen Siklos, sistent data.” said “While the closure is unfortunate, our researchers will continue to work with theirs to explore new network- »Donnacha Kirk’s diary of a protest London, Sunday 29 October: ing, platform and development tech- Last Sunday was a beautiful autumn clear that there’s actually very little nologies”. Rebecca Lester day. There was a bright sun beaming apathy: that’s what happens when a NUS marches against top-up fees down, it was dry, mild and the leaves political issue hits your own pocket. I were beginning to turn yellow and did meet a few students who were Cambridge meat flutter down from the trees. What vociferously in favour of top-up fees, did you do? Finish an essay? Play a but for every supporter there were cleaver attack football match? Read a book? About ten who thought top-up fees were sixty of us from Cambridge got up unfair, hypocritical and damaging to Police are appealing for information early and travelled to London to higher-level education. These people after a meat cleaver was used in an march with other students from weren’t apathetic but they were attack last Friday in a flat in Arbury, across the UK against top-up fees. demoralised, knowing it would be Cambridge. A man picked up the only a matter of time before the cleaver from the kitchen and attacked £3,000 cap is raised. his friend after an argument flared up. “We shouldn’t be It was for these students that we The victim, 46, required 43 stitches had to march and campaign, argue after being struck several times. The fighting on the and debate, publicise and pressure. attacker, who is partially disabled, was government’s Sunday’s march won’t change Tony also hurt. He is believed to have had a Blair’s mind on fees, but the sight of fit following the incident. John Walker terrain. We fellow students who care standing up and doing something might should speak out empower some of the silent, angry majority of students who can see the against the damage of top-up fees but have been Noisy brothel denied a voice. commercial- However, if we really are going to neighbours reach these students we must be isation of our more ambitious. The NUS demo was A Cambridge resident has reported studiously a-political. Their campaign how he heard prostitutes whipping universities.” to “keep the cap”, while worthwhile, their clients in a brothel next door. is pathetically defensive for our own The brothel, on Catherine Street, was national union. We shouldn’t be fight- one of several closed earlier this year ing on the government’s terrain. We after police raids. Neighbour Paul should be disputing the whole con- Allen was concerned about the man- Sixty Cambridge students won’t cept of charging students for their agement of the brothel, but described change the world and the overall education. We should speak out loud the prostitutes as “lovely girls” who turnout of roughly 5,000 won’t have against the commercialisation of our never caused any trouble. He even Tony Blair drawing up white papers universities and the creation of a served them home-cooked pasta in the morning. Yet what we did was “degree marketplace” where you between clients. After the closure, to mark a debate that is far from study to increase your future earning Allen had to put up signs saying that being as settled as the government potential, not for love of your subject. the brothel was no longer in business might pretend. Maybe then we’ll convince some of to stop hopeful clients ringing his I talked to students over the week Jo Trigg our fellow students that there really doorbell. leading up to the march. It became is a cause worth fighting for. A Cambridge Education Not For Sale campaigner at the protest NUS

varsity.co.uk/news | 03.11.06 3

Chief News editors: Joe Gosden and Jamie Munk Newsdesk Tel: 01223 353 422 Email: [email protected] Caffeinated Cambridge: totally addicted to drink »In light of recent Cambridge-led research, Varsity takes a look at tea and coffee culture in the University longer working hours and increase The Varsity survey revealed that on RICHARD CURLING & socialising amongst colleagues. He average Cambridge students cannot TOM PARRY-JONES pointed out that there are “clearly a last longer than three hours without lot of similarities” between office and having to take a break for a beverage, Two universities may have reopened university life. “But in some ways I with some only able to last for 45 min- the age-old debate as to whether tea or think being a student is often more utes. The majority surveyed consume coffee is the best antidote to hard stressful than being an employee, in their chosen beverage for the purposes work. In a British Coffee Association that you don’t have the framework of of staying awake and enjoying a few (BCA) press release of October 29 Dr everyone turning up at 9am and going minutes of social interaction. Most peo- Brendan Burchell, a senior lecturer in home at 5pm. You have to structure ple enjoyed going out for coffee, as Social and Political Sciences, encour- the work yourself.” opposed to staying in their rooms, fur- aged employees to take more “rest ther highlighting the desire for social periods at work, such as coffee interaction as necessary for relaxation. breaks”. This apparently contradicts Favorite Cambridge haunts were research from University College revealed to be Indigo, on St Edward's London (UCL) released on September Passage, the King's Coffee Shop, 30 which concluded that tea was a more Savino's next to Emma and Clowns on effective beverage for relieving stress. King Street. Yet such social necessities In an attempt to resolve this age old come at a price, with some students debate, Varsity undertook its own £10 spending over £20 a week on their bev- research into the drinking habits of the average erages. On average, around £10 was Cambridge's notoriously overworked sunk into the dregs of the Cambridge students. In a remarkable discovery it weekly spend on coffee shops per student each week. was found that 49 per cent of students But Burchell, a “very committed cof- preferred tea and 51 per cent pre- tea and coffee in fee drinker”, told Varsity “I’m not ferred coffee. going to tell anyone whether they Burchell believes Cambridge should be drinking coffee instead of that structured tea.” A BCA spokesperson, however, breaks should be drew attention to the caffeine found in Taking a quick break from the essay over a cup of coffee JOE GOSDEN encouraged in coffee, which can “have positive effects the workplace on an individual's concentration, so aid- so on. Secondly, it gives you confi- to reduce the ing better performance”. dence and a feeling that the world is So what’s in your mug? physical and Support for tea-drinking benign, so it increases self-respect mental effects of Cantabrigians came from Professor and regard. Thirdly, it increases con- Coffee Alan Macfarlane, a leading social centration and memory retention, Caffeine: 65-100mg in 240ml (instant) Dr Brendan anthropologist at King’s College. His experts estimate by about 15-20 per 80-135mg in 240ml (brewed) Burchell 3 book Green Gold: The Empire of Tea cent. Fourthly, it improves your mus- Methylpyridinium: helps prevent the average details the history of the drink. cle efficiency. And finally, I like the cancer Glowing testimonials from students taste of it.” In what could be con- Tea number of who he has converted to the beverage strued as an attack on the BCA, he Caffeine: up to 60mg in 240ml serving can be found on his facebook appreci- added “I don’t know of any [similar] Theophylline: a powerful stimulant hours spent in ation group. Macfarlane explained good medical effects of coffee… so I Theanine: linked with relaxation, the benefits of tea-drinking. “One is think that tea is better for you”. this also boosts the immune system the library that it is very good for your health, it’s At a national level tea is a more pop- Catechins: antioxidants found in known to be effective against various ular drink than coffee. It is estimated white and green teas between breaks medical conditions: cancers, heart dis- that an individual will drink 80,000 eases, most waterborne diseases, and cups in a lifetime. Caius superhall carnage What does a commercial »Vomit and excrement on toilet floor

cerned about this”, said Katherine lawyer do all day? JOHN WALKER Faulkner, a second-year student. “There are worries that senior staff Gonville and Caius Student Union have decided to cancel these events (GCSU) has been fined £100 in in the future, which would be a real cleaning charges after a superhall shame. It seems bad to fine GCSU last week ended in disgrace. The for this.” dinner, which took place last Thursday, went as planned for the majority of guests, but staff were “I’m not at all Careers Presentation, 6th November, forced to fine the GCSU after vomit and faeces were found on the floor of worried about a Cambridge Garden Moat House Hotel, 6.30pm the mens’ toilet. In an unconnected incident last smear on GCSU’s week, two Caius students were What does a lawyer do on a deal? Or on a daily basis? How do you work fined £80 for letting off a fire extin- reputation” with other lawyers? When do you start to meet clients? And how will guisher; in this case the students your career pan out? You can find out answers to all these questions and admitted to the prank. Since the superhall, GCSU have sent an email many others at our presentation. Either turn up on the day or confirm to Caius students asking the culprit your attendance by emailing [email protected] to reimburse them the £100. So far no one has come forward to admit Garnett was disappointed that Keep an eye on our website for other events that could be happening on your campus, you’ll find a diary the foul-up. GCSU had been fined, but remained President of GCSU, Tor Garnett, upbeat about such events as a of events plus blogs from trainees by clicking on LinkNow. categorically denied that the waste whole. “Our ents are always incredi- found on the toilet floor was a result bly successful,” she said, adding in of the superhall. “The mess was left an unfortunate turn of phrase that What do you need to know? before the hall took place”, she said, she was “not at all worried about a www.linklaters.com/careers/ukgrads “we don’t know who it was”. smear on GCSU’s reputation”. Concerns have been raised over Caius Senior Tutor Dr John Ford the possible ramifications of the declined to comment in any way on event. “People are definitely con- the incident. varsity.co.uk/news | 03.11.06 5

Tel: 01223 353 422 Newsdesk Email: [email protected] Jesus fresher assaulted after bop »Normal college disciplinary procedures deemed insufficient for assailant

college life” for some time, and that NEWS REPORTER this affair has “served only to provide concrete evidence that he is now On the night of Saturday 28 October moving into the territory of the writ- a fresher at Jesus College was ten laws”. Jesus JCR President Mark assaulted while returning from the Fletcher told Varsity “a mob mental- college’s Rocky Horror Halloween ity will not be accepted at Jesus”, con- King’s College bop. A college porter witnessed the firming that “the investigation has assault and the involved parties were the full support of the JCR”. Jesus KCSU electioneering referred to the Dean for disciplinary Dean Dr Adam Tooze and the Head action. At the time of going to press Porter both refused to comment on hits cyberspace the restrictions to be imposed on the the incident. assailant remained undecided. The campaigns for this year’s KCSU Varsity was informed that the events Exec positions have seen a marked were being treated as “extremely “a mob departure from the incessant flyering serious”, so much so that the normal and mini-march days of old. A concert- system of fines and punishments had mentality will ed facebook campaign has been been deemed inadequate. The matter launched by the would-be student rad- will be referred to “a higher authori- not be accepted icals in support of their bids for power. ty” although the assaulted Jesuan has Groups such as “Amy Hoggart asked that the police not be involved. at Jesus” Listens”, in support of the petite According to sources at Jesus there brunette’s Welfare campaign, had been several antagonistic acts “Anthony For LBGT Officer” and earlier in the evening. The fresher “Seiriol for KCSU Chair” have sud- had been “violently prevented from denly been formed in recent days. The leaving the men’s toilets” by a group decline of the principled left, anyone? “including his future assailant”. Later Jesus bops recently hit the head- in the evening a “sarcastic song of Jesus students get into the gothic mood ELISA MARIA HAYASHI lines after the prohibited equestri- mock adoration” was apparently an activities of Kate Morland were heard “floating across the hockey the assault with the support and couple” at the same bop. referred to college authorities. A History Faculty pitch”. As the song finished a mem- encouragement of his friends”. An apology was apparently made subsequent investigation by ber of the group “attempted to run The second year assailant, a mem- in the college bar on Monday night Varsity on Morland’s behalf Tea Room Saved into the fresher, failed, and instead ber of the Caesarians drinking socie- and the fresher now considers the revealed that Bronze Horse’s sculp- ended up in a hedge”. The threatened ty, had allegedly been involved in a incident closed. But gossip, has tor, Barry Flanagan, was under the Hordes of peckish historians will no fresher “upped his pace significantly” “bottle-smashing” incident on “spread like wildfire” among the impression that Bronze Horse could longer be forced to make the perilous in the “direction of First Court” and Malcolm Street in the second week Jesus student body. The atmosphere be ridden by Jesus students, and trek to the Sidgwick Buttery when the the infamous Bronze Horse, before of October. Unconfirmed reports in college was described as “one of that the only restriction related to renowned Seeley Cafeteria reopens at “he was caught and knocked to the have also surfaced of his being sent disgust”, with one student suggest- the banned crossing of the First the end of November. The faculty ground”. A Jesus student told once again to the Dean after “urinat- ing that the second-year involved had Court lawn involved in reaching the reported difficulties in filling the posi- Varsity that his assailant “committed ing on a table and then on a kissing been “breaking the unwritten rules of metallic steed. tion of tea lady, but the new incumbent, Catherine Lenton, will commence toastie production soon after November 20. Start queing early for your cheesy Cambridge dominates beans on toast. the workload rankings King’s Parade nars and tutorials are taught by aca- ACAREER AT THE BAR REBECCA LESTER demics, in comparison with only 70 per Charming face of cent at old universities. graduate recruitment A new report has revealed that stu- But the authors praised Cambridge’s dents at English universities are award- supervision system, commenting “if you The birthday drinks party of two Fitz ed degrees in the same subject despite took out Oxford and Cambridge, the old Shallots was interrupted on Monday greatly varying amounts of teaching universities would look a lot worse”, an 30 by the arrival of two recruiters and study time. The survey, published assessment that was well received at from a management consultancy firm. last week by the Higher Education Cambridge. Professor Melveena Upon realising their mildly inebriated Policy Institute (HEPI), highlighted Mckendrick, Pro-Vice-Chancellor, said error in entering the private party, vast disparities in the number of hours “I am delighted to see our students' the two thirty-somethings decided The Honourable Society of the Inner worked by students at different univer- hard work and commitment reflected in the only way to make amends was for Temple sities. Cambridge dominates the tables this report. Anyone who has taught in their credit-card to fund the remain- INVITES ALL CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY for workload, with students of Physical Cambridge knows that the common der of the night. Champagne flowed, Sciences, History, Maths, Engineering, assumption that students idle away “special” shots were dispensed and STUDENTS TO ATTEND A their time is a foolish myth as far as deserts scoffed as the party continued PRESENTATION ON Cambridge is concerned.” well into the small hours, all courtesy ACAREER AT THE BAR “if you took out Discrepancies in the number of first of the moneyed arrivals. If only any- at and upper-second class degrees award- one could remember the company Oxbridge the old ed by different universities were also they’d been trying to promote the fol- Emmanuel College highlighted, raising questions of the lowing morning... On Wednesday 8th November, at 7pm universities value of degrees from English universi- ties. Bahram Bekhradnia, one of the would look a lot report’s authors, said “Some universi- The Panel will be followed by a canapés ties seem to provide a higher proportion Curry king and wine reception at which you will have worse ” of firsts and 2.1s when they don’t have a the opportunity to talk to barristers of high proportion of clever students and Bulldogs in need of a they don’t seem to work hard”. spicy muzzle varying seniority Despite investing more hours per week, a lower percentage of An evening of Tikka-Masala’d delight Cambridge Law and Maths students featuring the Churchill Bulldogs and the To reserve a place please email SPS and Law working harder than at are awarded firsts and 2.1s than stu- Trinity Hall Penguins was interupted other institutions. dents at other universities. But when the insults emanating from a less [email protected] The survey of 15,000 students Gordon Chesterman, Director of the than courteous canine, relating to the or call 020 7797 8211 for further emphasised that new universities “out- Careers Service, believes that employ- Curry King management, reached a information perform” Russell Group universities in ees value the Cambridge approach to waiter’s ears. The impudent poodle was many ways. New universities like education, particularly the supervision pinned to the wall by his throat until he Sheffield Hallam and Hull offer more and tutorial system. He said “A agreed to apologise for the slur. Varsity contact time, smaller classes and a Cambridge degree goes above the was reliably informed that the pooch higher percentage of seminars and standard routine element of a subject. was later seen slinking away over tutorials taught by academics rather As a result, employees nationally and Magdalene Bridge with his tail firmly than postgraduate students. In new internationally do target Cambridge between his legs. universities over 90 per cent of semi- over other universities”. #

for Global Banking & 1Markets

# 1for graduate opportunities

Don't miss the deadline Sunday 5th November

The deadline for applying to one of the most exciting, entrepreneurial and forward-thinking banks is fast approaching. To discover what we can offer you within Global Banking & Markets visit our graduate website and apply now:

www.rbs.com/gbmgraduates

www.rbs.com/gbmgraduates Make it happen varsity.co.uk/news | 03.11.06 7

Tel: 01223 353 422 Newsdesk Email: [email protected] Cooking up a storm in the Trinity kitchens »Housing Act 2004 implementation leaves Trinity students without their gas rings to inspect college accommodation ience will not be short-lived. While Assessments are still ongoing in New eat more meals in hall. There will be TOM WOOLFORD and demand changes where stan- those living in recently refurbished Court, but it seems very unlikely “no flexibility about when I can eat” dards fail health and safety direc- areas will have minor alterations that any gyp rooms will be able to be said fourth year Simon Morrell. Many Over 200 students in Trinity College tives. This will mean that gas rings, made immediately to ensure their converted in the student-populated more simply complain that they will will have their cooking facilities deemed unsafe for student accom- kitchens remain operable, residents of south side of Great Court. Students face ever-longer queues to eat in hall. removed as the college is forced to modation, will be removed; a process older parts of college such as Great Trinity College Students’ Union come into line with government leg- that has already begun in the college Court, Whewell’s Court, Neville’s (TCSU) informed students of the islation. The Housing Act 2004 came and is due to be completed in the Court and New Court face the possi- “the college has developing situation by email last into operation in April this year. As a next two weeks. bility of long-term, or even permanent week. In that email, Domestic Affairs result, fire officers have the power For many students, the inconven- limitations to their cooking facilities. offered no Officer Tim Dey called the removal of New regulations that state that a hobs a “significant inconvenience for kitchen must be within one floor of reduction in my students”, but stressed that “TCSU those it serves, strict stipulations over are in ongoing discussions with the the size of worktop and refrigerator room rent” college authorities to ascertain what space per person, and planning can be done to improve the situa- restrictions due to the character of tion”. The college insists that rent these listed buildings may mean that will remain unchanged, as it has many rooms now functioning as never been based on the availability kitchens can only be used as “gyp living in all these areas of the college of facilities. rooms” in the future. The college is will therefore have only a microwave TCSU added that by removing gas optimistic that some gyp rooms in with which to prepare their meals. rings from kitchens they in fact ensure Whewell’s Court will be able to be con- One angry resident of Whewell’s that students have some very basic verted into kitchens that successfully Court complained “I chose my room facilities rather than face the complete meet the new requirements, but resi- on account of the facilities it provid- closure of the rooms concerned. The dents have not yet been informed of ed,” adding “the college has offered no full implications of the new regulations when, and to what extent, their cook- reduction in my room rent”. Another will only become clear after the fire A set of endangered Trinity gas rings AMICA DALL ing facilities will be restored. bemoaned the problems of having to officers’ visit. Wheelchair access only: 8mph on the A14 Dealer found guilty of N

E A man suffering from cerebral palsy C / Parkside dope-trading T plunged the A14 into chaos last N

O Thursday as he calmly rolled his elec- M worrying factor to my mind in this A tric wheelchair along the trunk road at L MARK WOLFSON case is your view that there is no N 8mph. Rush hour traffic swerved A

C around Mr Chang-Hyun-Choi, who harm in supplying cannabis to N

U Police arrested a drug dealer selling other people”.

D operates the wheelchair using only his mouth, until the police ordered him off cannabis just a stone’s throw from Raids have increased throughout the road near Bar Hill. Parkside Police Station. Seven the country due to the nationwide The stunt was part of a campaign wraps of cannabis resin and £135 in Operation Keymer, which focuses calling for the unification of his Korean cash were confiscated from on drug factories and associated homeland. In 2000, when crossing Christopher Dyer, whilst blocks crime infrastructure. America from New York to Los amounting to 284g of cannabis with Estimates suggest that up to 60 Angeles, he was left comatose after a a street value of £557 were discov- per cent of students have tried collision with a truck. Nevertheless, ered at his house. Dyer pleaded cannabis. In a recent study carried he successfully toured the Japanese guilty at Cambridge Crown Court out by Wainwright & Pharoah, 10 archipelago in 2003 and is now in the Monday before last to possesion of per cent of Cambridge students midst of the European leg of a global methadone and to possessing claimed to use cannabis on a weekly expedition. He will travel almost cannabis with intent to supply. basis. Whether recent successful 23,000km across 31 countries. Judge Jonathan Haworth hand- Cambridge drug raids have had any Symbolically, he has chosen to end his ed Dyer a nine month prison sen- impact on these figures remains to trip in Germany to illustrate the possi- tence, telling the offender, “The be seen. bilities of unification. Jae-Hyeok Choi, who follows his close relative in a people carrier, com- mented, “Our journey through England has been very cold and the traffic is quite bad”. While in Cambridge, Mr Choi enjoyed a tour of some of the colleges with members of the CU Korean Society. Electric wheelchairs are legal on A- roads. But a police spokeswoman com- mented, “officers have spoken to Mr Choi at length… He has been strongly advised not to travel on major routes”. But given his track record, Mr Choi may not be discouraged by concern for his own safety. Cat Moss Outside Parkside Police Station, the site of the drug dealing JOE GOSDEN

The best of the rest Cross Campus from around the country Leicester lad- OUSU: breaking Cardiff search for Basketball match Fears for future mags censored law is “great fun” bare-back butlers turns nasty of Oxford tutes Outrage has erupted at Leicester fol- A OUSU report leaked to the OxStu Butlers in the Buff are currently A Warwick Thirds basketball player University reform proposals have left lowing the removal of “lads’ mags” newspaper has this week revealed the recruiting from amongst Cardiff’s was arrested this week for allegedly many in Oxford fearing for the future from the shelves of the union shop. union’s support for students breaking finest students for its silver service assaulting a member of the opposing of the tutorial system. Proposed The move, taken following complaints the law in rent negotiations. The enterprise. The waiters serve guests team during a match. The postgradu- changes to the ways that teaching from students, has prompted student report encourages JCRs to undertake attired in a classy combination of a bow ate student spent two nights in cus- resources are allocated have left many newspaper The Ripple to launch a rent strikes and occupations, both of tie, collar, cuffs and a backside-reveal- tody following the incident, in which dons fearing that tutorials will no campaign to return the unsavoury which are against college and ing apron. The lucky gents are to be the victim, an off-duty policeman, longer be financially viable, and that publications from their new home University statutes, arguing that they selected by a panel of female competi- received serious facial injuries. The they will instead gradually become under the counter. are both effective and “great fun”. tion winners and company directors. victim will be permanently scarred. non-existent. 8 varsity.co.uk/news | 03.11.06 News Feature Weighed and measured: Cambridge’s secret epidemic »Incidence of eating disorders amongst Cambridge students significantly higher than the national average

JO TRIGG & self-starvation, whilst someone with ly new”. She estimated that “less in the college pastoral system. She SARAH WILKINSON Bulimia Nervosa will eat large than ten per cent” had arisen since told Varsity that having confided in amounts of food in a short period of being at Cambridge, as the majority her tutor, several months later “she time, before vomiting it up, some- are relapsed cases. seemed to have forgotten that I was Last week, the Independent on times several times per day. This It would be tempting to conclude anorexic and asked me again. When I Sunday revealed that eating disor- behaviour can give the sufferer a that the higher occurrence of eating told her how much I weighed she ders now affect more than one in feeling of order and control, provid- disorders at Cambridge is a direct said “You’re fine. I only weighed a bit every hundred girls: 1.5 million peo- ing a structure for students amidst 1% result of the high-pressure environ- more than that when I was your ple in Britain are known sufferers. In the chaos of Cambridge terms. One of girls in Britain ment. But Parker suggested that age.”” She was referred via her GP 2000 it was estimated that 6 per cent former sufferer who spoke to Varsity there are more factors to consider. to the Addenbrooke’s to see a psy- of women studying at the University was keen to stress that eating disor- suffer from an She highlighted in particular the pre- chologist who told her that she “did- of Cambridge admitted to having an ders are “not simply about body disposition of Cambridge students n't look anorexic”, which triggered unhealthy relationship with food. In image... they are more about compul- eating disorder towards this type of problem. her to lose more weight in order to the same year, a study of female sion and the need to feel like you are “People who apply to Cambridge “earn” her label. Oxford students reported an average in control and consistently achieving might have a higher incidence of eat- Addenbrooke's has recently of 9 per cent. Dr Rebecca Park, for- something: weight loss was my ing disorders than you would find opened a 12-bed specialist in-patient merly employed as a psychiatrist at achievement”. nationally... a perfectionist personali- ward, in addition to outpatient clinics Kings’ College, Cambridge told The University Counselling ty lends itself to anorexia and bulim- for eating disorders headed by spe- Varsity that “eating disorders were Service (UCS) estimated that out of ia is characterised by very marked cialists in field Dr Sarah Beglin and the biggest issue” amongst the stu- the 1050-1100 students seen annually, negative self-thinking.” consultant Dr Jane Shapleske. The dents she encountered. an average of 6-9 per cent required Parker also expressed concern University of Oxford, which has a Eating disorders have received counselling for eating disorders, about the treatment provided in long-standing in-patient facility for extensive media attention recently, amounting to 60-100 patients per 6% Cambridge. She argued that “a lot of eating disorders, has lately expanded and a new type of eating disorder has year. Of these, 20 per cent were of female psychiatrists discharge people before their unit, Cotswold House, to accom- now been identified. “Multi-impul- anorexic, 33 per cent bulimic and 30 they come to Cambridge, believing modate up to 14 in-patients and six sive” disorder combines bingeing and per cent suffered from Binge Eating Cambridge that because of the collegiate system day patients. This unit, independent purging with other forms of self- Disorder. The remaining 17 per cent the students will be welcomed into of the city's John Radcliffe Hospital, harm including cutting, overdosing were classified as afflicted by a-typi- students are some sort of therapeutic communi- provides a holistic environment away and alcohol-abuse. Until now, the cal eating disorders, not conforming ty”. The reality is somewhat differ- from what could be considered intim- three disorders that have received to the usual diagnostic categories. reported as being ent. Whilst she acknowledged that idating and sterile hospital surround- the most coverage have been UCS counsellor Lesley Parker, who “college nurses do a lot of unseen ings. Anorexia, Bulimia and Binge-Eating. specialises in these negative relation- affected work in supporting people with eat- Oxford also has the benefit of a Anorexia Nervosa is characterised ships with food, told Varsity that ing disorders”, one sufferer suggest- research department funded by the by the restriction of food intake or “very few of these cases are absolute- ed that there were weaknesses with- Wellcome Trust, which treats less Judith Liz Michael

Between the ages of 13 and 16 is getting worse”. Judith said Cambridge graduate Liz Fraser, concentrate in supervisions, Michael was diagnosed with contributary factor to his ill- Judith was anorexic. In July, “People are more open and author of the Yummy Mummy's “When you have a serious eating an atypical eating disorder ness, explaining “I wasn't she published a book entitled receptive here than in other Survival Guide was bulimic disorder your brain cannot func- two years ago, just after grad- being fed anymore by College. Monkey Taming about her places, but quite a lot have whilst at university from 1993- tion properly. I relied on my uating from Cambridge. He I was working very hard and I experiences. Since being at had the experience them- 1996. She believes her family supervision partners to talk told Varsity “I noticed I was didn’t make time to eat, it Cambridge, she has had “one selves or are close to someone background contributed to prob- whilst I concentrated on not running out of energy and get- seemed like a chore.” He or two slip-ups”, but puts the who has”. She emphasised lems. “My dad is a professor at passing out.” She was allowed to ting depressed, and my Body added “I knew exactly what I prevalence of eating disorders that “it’s important that people Oxford and my brother studied return to Clare after passing a Mass Index (BMI) was well had to change but I couldn’t do down to the type of people talk about it. The less it’s at Cambridge. The pressure of special set of exams designed for below what it should have it”. Commenting on the preva- who study at the University talked about, the worse it will living up to academic expecta- her by the college and with the been... my GP wasn’t very lence of eating disorders in rather than the academic get, and people will forget that tions was difficult to cope with.” promise that she visit the UCS helpful: he just put me on anti- Cambridge, he told Varsity “It environment. She told Varsity those with eating Whilst managing to recover weekly. Whilst Clare depressants, which made me is down to the “it is a high-pressure environ- disorders slightly before coming to was “100 per cent more ill.” Michael attended the pressured ment, but it's also made up of are people Cambridge, she told Varsity “I supportive,” Eating Disorders clinic at environment. the kind of people who put first, not relapsed within two days. It Fraser believes Addenbrooke’s for a year, Most people pressure on themselves”, some became a way to kill time, to that “fellows and where he received regular are more adding “most of the girls are sort of escape all the worry in my head tutors do not real- individual treatment from a stressed out and very slim here”. She praised sub- and to give some kind of struc- ize that bulimia is a male specialist. He comment- like to be the best the awareness of mental group of ture to my day.” At the end of full time occupa- ed, “I didn’t expect to see a at every- health issues in Cambridge, society.” her first year she failed her tion and a seri- guy, it was great.” Michael thing.” but suggested that this may exams after missing the majority ous addic- considered removal from the only be “because the problem of her practicals and failing to tion”. college environment to be a

Is there no end to the him off” with some veracity. The gentle- enough to match your public image – tide of filth engulfing man on the receiving end of this bar- but you just really need a shag? The this university? The rage, however, was not having any of answer it seems is to crawl into bed bishop is repulsed this abuse, and expressed his indigna- with an, ahem, facially challenged, boy – enough by the sight tion by issuing forth a clear white sub- but refuse to publicly acknowledge him. of sweat so often seen stance. Unfortunately, its final destina- But then perhaps she was merely tak- So how much of a Cambridge clubber are you trickling down the tion remains uncertain. Watch your ing a leaf out of her best friend’s book on anyway? walls of a certain step down there… maintaining a socially glacial exterior. stygian pit “cellar”. Thankfully, such blatant scenes are Few people know that this social belle’s a) If there’s a sweaty dancefloor that needs filling then I’m there. But now it seems this substance may not to everyone’s sexual taste. It seems favourite past-time was prank calling – b) It’d be awfully rude not to boogie on down if the Hawks are out. not be quite as pure as meets the eye. that one prominent Cambridge socialite and that it was that, rather than her c) Cambridge clubs are so passé, but once a term to Fez is OK. Several witnesses have reported some has been driven to keep her private life “wild” parties, that nearly got her sent d) I can’t imagine leaving my Maths for an entire evening. untoward communication on the dance- very “private” recently. Staring her in down. Well, she had to talk to someone floor. It seems one young man took the face was the urgent dilemma: I suppose... Vote online at varsity.co.uk another in hand, so to speak, and “told What’s a girl to do when no one’s good Send your confessions to [email protected] varsity.co.uk/news | 03.11.06 9

severe cases, taking the pressure off UCS,” admitting that a similar Thin Commandments: the outpatient department at helpline had been run in the past but Cotswold House. A Cambridge stu- that this “had not been a success”. dangerous words of dent who has been treated in both If support is lacking, the rapid emer- advice from a pro- Oxford and Cambridge felt that gence of pro-anorexia websites and anorexia website treatment was “more accessible” in blogrings could appear a safe-haven for Oxford. She told Varsity that she sufferers. But the messages expound- waited seven months for treatment in ed by these sites often actively encour- Varsity discovers disturbing Cambridge following her initial refer- age sufferers to adopt increasingly instruction from an anorexia ral from her GP, and expressed con- dangerous habits. One site suggests cult which completely contra- cern that “some anorexics may use “Put together a pro-ana scrapbook venes any medical advice. that time as an opportunity to lose with lists of safe foods, low-cal, low-fat, weight to the point of hospitalisation”. low-carb recipes, word collages, and of 1) If you are not thin you are course, trigger pics!!!”. Whilst search not attractive. engines have managed to filter out “Those with eat- many pro-anorexia websites, blogrings 2) Being thin is more important are more difficult to target and much than being healthy. ing disorders are easier to come across accidentally. Varsity discovered that one blogring 3) You must buy clothes, cut people first, not alone, entitled “Oh, you're not fat” has your hair, take laxatives, starve some sort of 4433 members. yourself, do anything to make Although awareness of eating disor- yourself feel thinner. sub-group of ders and other mental health issues is improving, Cambridge students 4) Thou shall not eat without society” remain, as Boulding described them feeling guilty. “amongst the most pressured students in the world”. As long as there is a high 5) Thou shall not eat fattening incidence of eating disorders at foods without punishing oneself Oxbridge, there needs to be the provi- afterwards. sion to meet this. Dr Park believes that On a University level, CUSU more should be done. She told Varsity 6) Thou shall count calories and Women's Union run an Eating that “lobbying for the bettering of restrict intake accordingly. Disorders Awareness campaign. But treatment and greater awareness CUSU Women's Officer Harriet needs to come from somewhere like 7) What the scales say is the Boulding stressed that “the best pro- Oxbridge”. most important thing. vision for eating disorders is from the UCS... and I am very very keen to 8) Losing weight is good, gain- make use of that service”. She www.edauk.com ing weight is bad. explained to Varsity that the welfare www.something-fishy.org officers at CUSU were proposing to 9) You can never be too thin. set up an Eating Disorder Support Eating Disorders (EDS) helpline “akin to Linkline”, but Association helpline: 10) Being thin and not eating are Is academic pressure to blame for heightened eating disorders? that “this should not replace the ( 0845 634 1414 true signs of will power and success.

10 varsity.co.uk/comment | 03.11.06

Email: [email protected] Tel: 01223 353422 Comment editor: Lowri Jenkins Editorial 11-12 Trumpington Street, Cambridge. CB2 1QA Comment Email: [email protected]

Imogen Girls just wanna have fun Walford But not on their own

ere’s a riddle for you: all-female environment (the college sex colleges because they help girls Cambridge University won’t release official statistics). They feel “secure” isn’t doing them any The “Anti” Antidote has three of these were reshuffled via the pool, allowing favours in the long run. University is when no one else has the statistics to remain balanced; not a transitional phase between school any. Stuck? Single-sex a fact that bodes well for justifying and the workplace: it’s a worrying Last week was CUSU Anti-Racism Week. As a link to the theme, the colleges of course, and these institutions. phenomenon that girls can emerge Varsity Features section printed a series of articles revolving around Hthey propagate segregation and dis- Interacting with people from diverse from Newnham and New Hall with- issues of faith and multiculturalism. It is difficult to ignore the fact that crimination, end of story. backgrounds challenges preconcep- out having interacted with their male one of the greatest problems currently threatening social stability is It takes three female colleges to tions and makes one look at the world counterparts. And I can’t think of a the friction between different groups of belief, often exacerbated by make the university statistics up to differently. Yes, there can be religious single other working environment the individual, cultural traits these groups exhibit. With such a deli- roughly 50/50 men to women: most objections to unmarried students of where men and women remain colleges are two-thirds male. New both sexes sharing bathrooms. But entirely segregated. cately poised issue at the cusp of the nation’s future, Anti-Racism Hall may have a mixed fellowship but But where would the impetus for E

Week seemed slightly removed from the forefront of the debate. Suzi L

Newnham remains a bastion of female B change come from? One CUSU mem- Lori-Parks’ In the Blood at the ADC was a very successful and pow- O fellows: only 23% of academic staff in C ber , who shall remain anonymous, S

erful production, but a play about struggle in a predominantly black the university are women. A has admitted that CUSU recognises N

Smokescreen, or what? With the uni- O section of American society seemed, more than anything, to fit into a I the need for change. But they’re sit- F trend of white, middle class interest in the culture surrounding poor versity hitting the target of equal : ting tight and waiting for agitation N O intake of the sexes, there is little pres- I from the colleges themselves. And black communities. The production was chosen with a view towards T A

sure for predominantly male colleges R that certainly isn’t happening at the

greater inclusion, both in the ADC and in the University. Seeing an T

like Magdalene to increase the num- S moment. A vote of confidence in the ADC stage awash with faces of different race does make an important U L

ber of girls they take in. L system? Well, perhaps. Too often the I point about the potential for integration within Cambridge theatre, And this discrimination isn’t just due question is reduced down to a person- but can a portrayal of ghettoized American society have a wider posi- to a “wicked patriarchy”. Anne al level: do you like being in a girls tive effect? The kind of life depicted by In The Blood must be quite far Lonsdale, the President of New Hall’s college? And the fact that, under the removed from the experience of your average Cambridge student. justification for continuing as a single- pressure of work, it’s easier just to Fair enough, people can be educated by the play, but the route to any sex college tapped into a wealth of accept the status quo for three years new conclusions they might draw about racism in their direct sur- inverse sexism, stating “women’s abili- and “adopt” another college. But this roundings after seeing this play can only be roundabout. ty to create successful self-sufficient shouldn’t be left up to the colleges. In The Blood should be celebrated for its artistic worth, but the communities has always caused disqui- This isn’t about men and women’s question needs to be asked of it, as with Anti-Racism Week as a et”. If this was not in itself innocuous, sociological differences and it isn’t whole, whether the issue of racism has been tackled head-on. We all take out the word “women” and insert about whether girls like having clean “men”. If a President of Magdalene or bathrooms or drinking cocoa. This is know racism is wrong because it is a sentiment we have had to Peterhouse had used this argument about segregation and discrimination repeat from a young age. But racism, when it is encountered, never twenty years ago against women in Cambridge. pitches itself as being antithetically opposed to the social good. matriculating, it would have been mixed colleges contain people of both Single-sex colleges need to learn Instead, it is disguised behind fears concerning crime, jobs and the greeted with derision. It simply per- sexes and of many faiths. This is some- the old American adage “if you can’t community. The old, familiar sentence-opener “I’m not racist, but…” petuates a vision of female solidarity thing that can, and is dealt with by sin- beat ‘em, join ‘em”. In the latest encapsulates the problem that, for many people, it’s possible to feel that sees men as the “Opposition”. gle-sex floors. Tompkins Table the single-sex col- that they are on the “racism is wrong” bandwagon despite express- On the basis of an unofficial Coming to Cambridge should not leges have been ranked 23rd, 24th ing harmful, racist opinions. If racism is going to be dealt with, it can- Newnham poll two years ago, 50% of only be an intellectual but also a and 26th: it seems beating ‘em just not be through slogans and banners because any time the offence is the college didn’t choose to be in an social challenge. Shoring up single- ain’t working. flagged up, those who are guilty of it immediately disassociate them- selves from the accusation and become part of the crowd. Within this context, the validity of launching an Anti-Racism Week appears Ravi Eccentric or Eurocentric? questionable. It is not possible to set up such an easy opposition between racist and anti-racist, and the danger of any campaign that Amaratunga The loss of Sanskrit and Hindi sets out to be entirely “Anti” is that it can create a sense of pervad- ing social good that actually exludes those who most need to hear its message. A more sophisticated approach to difference, that does not drown out opposing viewpoints amidst the anti-racism chorus, is r Gordon Johnson, Britain’s economy, with the It seems obvious that there is a head of South Asian Guardian yesterday reporting a 110 wider issue at hand here, and that is required for the sake of real progress. Studies, insists that per cent increase in Indian invest- the “Eurocentricity” of the study of both Hindi and ment in the UK during 2005-6, mak- humanities at this university, an Sanskrit, contrary to ing it the third biggest overseas institution where the study of world recent news of its dis- investor after the US and Japan. history is still reductively referred The Independent Cambridge Dcontinuation as an undergraduate It seems almost unthinkable that to as “extra-European”. This also Student Newspaper since 1947 course, will still be available to the- Cambridge will casually dispose of raises the possibility of other areas Varsity has been Cambridge’s independent student newspaper since 1947, and distributes 10,000 free copies ologians. It is important to recognise the academic study of Japan or the of study being curtailed in order to to every Cambridge college and ARU weekly. Varsity is proud to be the holder of numerous student media that this effectively represents the United States, so why has South cater for the “needs” of the majority awards and a vast number of alumni now working in international media. Varsity also publishes BlueSci demise of these vitally important Asian Studies been treated in this of the students here. Which subject magazine, The Mays, and an online edition at www.varsity.co.uk. areas of study, irrespective of the is next for the chopping block? Board of Directors: Dr. Michael Franklin (Chair), Prof. Peter Robinson, Mr Tim Harris, Mr Tim Moreton, Ms Amy Goodwin (Varsoc President), Mr Tom Walters, Mr Christopher Adams, Mr Michael Derringer, Mr “official” position on the matter. It Chinese? Arabic? It is certainly diffi- Christopher Wright, Mr Joseph Braidwood, Miss Mary Bowers and Mr Jonathan Ensall. seems to me to be patently absurd “ Which subject cult to argue that either of these lan- that within hours of honouring the guages have any more direct rele- Editors Mary Bowers and Jonny Ensall [email protected] Associate Editor Was Yaqoob is next for the [email protected] Chief News Editors Joseph Gosden and Jamie Munk [email protected] Prime Minister of India, Manmohan vance to the world of today than Features Associate Editor Natalie Woolman [email protected] Arts Associate Editor Hermione Singh, with a prestigious honorary Hindi and Sanskrit, important as Buckland-Hoby [email protected] Arts and Features Visual Editor Rhiannon Adam [email protected] degree, the University felt it appro- chopping block?” they are. Interviews Editor Tess Riley [email protected] Sport Editor Bobby Friedman [email protected] Sport Associate Editor Dr Sophie Pickford [email protected] priate to axe languages so vital to a If these subject cuts are allowed Online Editor Joe Braidwood [email protected] Online Team Richard Zito, Chris Wright, Joe meaningful, scholarly understanding to happen, not only will the sphere Osborne, Henrietta Brooks, Nick Swetenham, Amy Renton and Dmitri [email protected] of the culture. history and economy of academia suffer, but Cambridge’s News Editors Joanna Trigg, Alice Whitwham and Tom Parry-Jones [email protected] News Reporters of his country. hallowed claim to “diversity” will Nikki Burton and John Walker Discuss Editor Catherine Hall [email protected] Science Editor Udayan Although I, along with many oth- manner? Is it because no one wants also fall under scrutiny. If Bhattacharya [email protected] Science Associate Editor Mico Tatalovic Food and Drink Editor Katie Craig [email protected] Restaurant Critics Martha Spurrier and Mathilda Imlah ers, would argue that the study of to study Hindi or Sanskrit? Less Cambridge is to remain a leading [email protected] Lifestyle Editors Saskia Payne and Carol Peacock [email protected] ‘foreign’ cultures is a self-enriching than Law, perhaps. But there are university, certainly within the Fashion Editors Olivia Johnson and Rosanna Falconer [email protected] Literature Editors Lucy end in itself, there will always be still those who do and should, and humanities, it must expand the non- McSherry and Andy Wimbush [email protected] Music Editors Freya Jonson Ross and Katy Wells [email protected] Visual Arts Editor Jonny Yarker [email protected] Screen Editor Olly Riley- people who say that knowledge must that is what is important. We are, European areas of study offered to Smith [email protected] Theatre Catherine Spencer Classical James Drinkwater [email protected] be justified in its utility. There is no according to informed opinion the its undergraduate students, rather Design Jessi Baker and Jonny Ensall Illustration Julien Hunt, Lettice Drake, Mary Bowers and Fiona Scoble doubt in my mind, however, that the second best university in the world, than pursuing a policy of axing sub- Production Cassell Carter, Mike Yue Yin and Georgia Argus Chief Photo Editor Amica Dall study of Hindi and Sanskrit falls into and as a result should approach aca- jects as soon as it becomes clear [email protected] Photo Editors Emily Wright and Alexandra Constantinides [email protected] both these categories. demia in a global context. Sadly, this that it will take some effort to keep Business Manager Adam Edelshain [email protected] Production and Chief Designer Michael Derringer [email protected] Technical Director Michael Derringer and Chris Wright technical- India’s main stock index, the does not seem to be the case at pres- them going. I am not suggesting [email protected] Company Secretary Patricia Dalby [email protected] Sensex, achieved its best ever finish ent. Why can we specialise in “fif- that the study of “European” sub- on Monday with the 30-share index teenth century tin mines in jects at our institution has no Varsity is published by Varsity Publications Ltd. and printed by Cambridge Newspapers Ltd. All copyright is the exclusive property of Varsity Publications Ltd. reaching in excess of 13,000 points - Cornwall” yet remain unable to importance, but there is a grave No part of this publication is to be reproduced, stored on a retrieval system or submitted in any form or by any yet another sign of India’s growing explore any aspect of a linguistically imbalance that, if not addressed, it means, without prior permission of the publisher. economic muscle. With such rapid rich 3000-year old language, unless might well come to haunt © Varsity Publications Ltd, 2006. 11-12 Trumpington St., Cambridge CB2 1QA Tel: 01223 337575 Fax: 01223 352913 economic expansion comes the we approach it from an intrinsically Cambridge University for years to onslaught of Indian expenditure in theological angle? come.

varsity.co.uk/comment | 03.11.06 11

Ethics Girl

Driving the Devil out

wo nuns, Mary and Anne, are driving down a road late at night when a vampire jumps onto the bonnet. Mary, who’s driving, says to Anne,T “Quick! Show him your cross”. Anne leans out the window and shouts, “Get off our f***ing car.” The person who wrote this joke – let’s call him Anton Krashny – was, without doubt, environmen- tally conscious. Worried about air pollution from cars, Anton has penned a warning: car driving leads to attacks from scary, sharp- toothed old bats. And that’s just the nuns. What Anton is actually trying to do is not related to making people laugh. When did you last hear a joke and find it funny? Instead he is clearly trying to persuade us to use greener transport methods. Anton’s word play is subtle but it’s undoubtedly clear that he intends us to add “out” and “y” and remove “f”. No, this does not make “Get off ouring car, outy”. Instead, anyone who enjoys a ILLUSTRATION: LETTICE DRAKE postmodern dissemination of humorous effusions within the enslavement of language in con- Jacob Bard- temporary, dissociative, pre- Rosenberg Charitable mis-givings future, postcolonial, gender- intended, society, will realise the intended punch line: “Get out of Being “ethical” is not necessarily the best way your f***ing car”. Why? Those who have seen David Hasselhoff’s video for his narchist Emma give, I take no political responsibili- of the system, and never about all they have in common is the fact latest single, “Jump in My Car”, Goldman once said, ty”. Donation has become the new cause - to try to solve problems but that they have charitable status. To will know that driving leads to “If I can’t dance at it, means of workable solutions. As a not to analyse or understand them. give money to RAG is not to say severe gelled hair, fake-tanned it’s not my revolu- result there is a danger that the Various economic truths under- that you have any particularly skin and a strong “past-it” aura tion”. If Cambridge ideology of political change will die. mine “ethical” beliefs, and yet strong view on any particular issue, that is never going to shift. students had their This suggestion is further to remain unchallenged. Trade is but that you feel that charities in Beyond the damages to the Asay they’d want to wear pyjamas, exist (and stagnate) as a conse- never fair; if it were then it would general are probably a good thing. libido – clearly the Hoff won’t be sit in a cage, and parade round quence of the popularity of the simply cease to exist, and yet “ethi- Giving to RAG instead of any other getting some for a while –the town in fancy dress too. Charities, “ethical”. This term is so broad that campaign then suggests a lack of Government Committee on the Amnesty International, “green”, it has ceased to mean anything. political priorities, and a belief that Medical Effects of Air Pollutants and “ethical” campaigns are big Everything from vegetarianism, to “Trade is never the importance is located in the reports that air pollution hastens news in Cambridge as many stu- “fair trade”, to disinvestment in the donation rather than its effects. It the death of up to 24,000 UK citi- dents spend lots of time collecting arms trade is included. Ok, so being fair. If it were, is understandable that many people zens a year and puts a further money and running events. These “ethical” doesn’t include intention- may just want to help solve the 24,000 in hospital. Recently, traffic campaigns often effect good short- ally killing people, but that’s about then it would problems of society, but these pollution has been linked to lung term changes, but they are almost all it’s possible to say. The “ethical” groups offer a way that whilst easy, cancer and blindness in particular. without exception lacking any kind movement allows the current inter- simply cease to is far less useful than an ideological Moreover, one in every 15 children of political critique. The type of national political and economic sys- critique. will be killed or injured by a vehi- actions associated with them tend tem to flourish. It wipes away the exist” It is ultimately impossible to cle before they reach 16. In coun- to be politically passive fund-rais- harsh edges off murder, starvation, oppose “unethical” elements of the tries where bicycles, trains and ing and awareness raising, rather poverty, and disease, without chal- system whilst remaining indifferent walking form a higher percentage than entering into productive dis- lenging the fundamental exploita- to the economic and social struc- of the transport usage, damage course. tion that underlies all of them. It tures that cause them. Yet many from private vehicles is much The popularity of these move- challenges their existence, but sug- charities seem almost fearful to reduced. ments and how they’re reported in gests that they are naturally wrong cal” beliefs rarely provide a viable criticise. We must revive and The wider negative effects of the student press implies far more rather than politically atrocious. alternative to the status quo. We reclaim use of the word “ethical”: it car pollutants are likewise shock- of a focus on those who donate than Many people in Cambridge are should congratulate students for should not imply value in itself, ing. For example, carbon dioxide those who benefit from the dona- politically motivated, but with the the results of their “ethical” rather it should present a set of from car exhaust is responsible for tions. Students whose lives are sub- major political parties tending so actions, but we must understand ideas and possibilities to agree or around 20 per cent of Britain’s sidised by the government (albeit much towards neo-liberal politics, how limited these effects really are. disagree with. Support for all of contribution to the greenhouse less and less) feel the need to people who are critical of the Amnesty is probably the most use- these organisations, especially effect. Repercussions of this are absolve themselves of a moral effects of our system are unable to ful of these campaigns, but I find it when it takes the form of giving enormous, including the termina- responsibility for societal systems become involved. It is these people hard to imagine it actually remov- money seems to encourage non- tion of the Gulf Stream, the ocean- that damage people’s lives, just as from whom serious ideological criti- ing the general problem of prison- thinking. To absolve oneself is to ic current without which Britain many members of the Victorian rul- cism would be so useful, yet there ers of conscience while world poli- refuse engagement with society, would have an average tempera- ing class did over a hundred years is currently very little. Instead tics remain so hegemonic. and it is only through such engage- ture of minus 20o, and dramatic ago. This economic absolution there is a worrying tendency to RAG, on the other hand supports ment that one can effect useful reduction in biodiversity. allows the individual to say, “If I talk only about the political effects a set of organisations so broad that change. So, Anton’s reformulated punch- line. I’ll say it again. Get out of your f***ing car. Buffy fans out there (think Right to reply beautiful Angel and his dark, moody lushness), you’ll know that vampires can be put to an end by Do you have something to say? driving a stake through their heart. By taking Anton’s message to heart, hopefully you won’t be email [email protected] driving anywhere soon. Tess Riley

12 varsity.co.uk/discuss | 03.11.06

Discuss editor: Catherine Hall Turn to page 29 or lift up Arts and Features for more discussion Discuss Email: [email protected]

» A message »Letter of the week from Milan “It feels rather smug for a Cambridge student in his ivory tower to argue that we should have fewer people at university”

Dear Sir, of hours that students put in a week three years of drunken student club both in terms of student debt and cir- to their degree, it is evident that the nights, defies the concept of higher rhosis of the liver. On reading your editorial, “A bid for ease of some courses makes them less learning, surely the original intention Yours etc., education”, it was gratifying to see worthy of a BA than others. of university. Percy Irving Nischa Pieris the issue of “the value of a degree” It seems that there is an expecta- It feels rather smug for a Darwin being brought back to the centre of tion that to achieve a good career, Cambridge student, sitting in his an increasingly narrow top-up fees university is just another box to tick ivory tower, to argue that we should Tell Varsity what’s on your debate. The current government on the CV. But this is not the case. have fewer people going to university. mind - each week, the hilst coming from seems intent on pushing as many peo- There are so many alternatives with- But, then again, somebody needs to best letter will win a London straight ple as possible through university in further education these days, and make this challenge. Otherwise, we’ll specially selected bottle of into a city such courses, without due consideration as not just in the classic case of plumb- be frittering hard-earned cash, both wine from our friends at as Milan, some to whether this is the best course of ing. To push 50 per cent into generic private and public, on something would expect not action. In light of the report pub- BA courses that seem to endear which really, in the end, is achieving Cambridge Wine to be fazed by the lished a few days ago on the amount themselves more as a chance for nothing more than a national crisis, Merchants, King’s Parade scaleW of the metropolis, which, in comparison is far less vast and easier to move around in. Yet I is clearly unfamiliar not only with the Dear Sir, alone in the course of writing about have already had one near death great Kris but also with the greater I read Alicia Spencer-Jones’ A Post the very thing that provoked their experience trying to cross a road, King Lear: “which is the justice, from Paris, rather unoriginally decry- derision! where the vehicle in question, which the thief?”, not “which is the ing the dismal state of the nation and being chased by the city police, just” (a very different thing.) Also, of course the dull antics of Yours faithfully, (who are not a bunch to mess why does the wonderfully named Cantabrigians in comparison to our Angus Abbot with) tooted its horn just in time Hermione Buckland-Hoby disparage continental counterparts, with a wry Fitzwilliam to allow me to look left in its the title of Bob Dylan’s new album as smile. Perhaps it was a tongue-in- direction (yes I had forgotten I “simplistic and mistaken” (p. 21)? It cheek stab at our grammatical inepti- Dear Sir, was on the continent). I let out a seems to me a welcome corrective to tude but it seemed rather unfortunate dramatic shriek, and jumped the idea that modernity began with to open the article with a mistake: “us Great was our shock upon discover- back. the Milennium Dome: Thomas Hardy English have no future” - surely “we ing that the University of Cambridge was writing of “the ache of mod- English have no future”? has already taken a decision in of the I have been dealt some other ernism” in 1891. I did, however, enjoy Furthermore, given their rather world’s most tense territory disputes. shocks while being here. It is Dear Sir, the embedded Dylan references scat- impartial reaction to the proposition of When we filled out our details on said that the Italian inclination tered through her column: “the times having to read the book, I suspect the Camsis, the only option for towards corruption has been In my review of Melanie Phillips’s are a-changing” (a minor misquota- “banks of disinterested students” Taiwanese nationals, was ‘Taiwan, infused from day one, and “Londonistan” (27/10, p. 24), I did not tion), “you’re a big girl now”, “direc- were in fact uninterested in the “Iliad” Province of China’. This is simply an therefore lingers in the national paraphrase one of her arguments as tion home”. She’s been among the (commonly spelt with just the one “I” outrageous claim. I would like to character. My first experience “multiculturalism is just another professors, but have they liked her I believe). know what the Varsity thinks of such of this was when I had inno- word for nothing left to lose”’ but as looks? I understand that not every typo- daring decisions by the University. cently failed to “validate” my “multiculturalism is just another graphical error can be corrected and For proof I can send a screenshot. train ticket and was threatened word for nothing left to lose”, the last Emotionally yours, doubtless some grammatical holes a 25 euro fine by the crooked four words being an allusion to Kris Andrew Souter could be poked in this letter. It just Best, conductor, which he said could Kristofferson rather than a quotation Girton seems to be a shame to prove the Bastiaan de Goei be avoided if I gave him 5 euros from Melanie Phillips. Your subeditor French right on any occasion, let Judge Business School instead to validate it on the spot. Left torn between the injustice of being forced to pay a fine I didn’t deserve, and the arguably worse injustice of Way Back When: Varsity Archives nourishing and therefore play- ing an active role in a system of »November 30th, 1963: One Long Scream - The Beatles come to Cambridge corruption, I pulled out all the crowd. As bodies brushed past the guitars and Freudian symbols to stops. I went on in English, curtain, he urged: “ That’s Paul. cover my confusion to the girl next to feigning a complete incapacity That’ll be Ringo.” And then, almost me. She closes her mouth, gulps at to understand a word he said, surprisingly they were there - to stay me, and continues to scream - telling him I was British and for half an hour if the audience didn’t through her ears I imagine. our system was different, that I throw things. That’s what happened After ices and the interval, tension was a poor student living in in Carlisle. mounts even higher. St John squalor, even shedding some They played their numbers against Ambulance people move in for the tears to prove my innocence. Of a solid wall of shriek. Girls waving kill. Girls are shrieking, writhing, and course, his fraudulent self-inter- programmes like maddened flinging themselves about. “They’re est was far stronger than his metronomes pleaded for recognition. so gorgeous”, my neighbour sobs and sense of compassion or my abili- Only the National Anthem could end moans through her choc bar. “Mass ty to coerce it, so he got his it all. hysteria. Sieg Heil and all that,” I way, leaving my purse 5 euros The police and fire hoses were mutter ironically. lighter and my conscience 5 waiting in the street. But drizzle And now the Beatles themselves. tonnes heavier. dampened the hysteria. Find myself panting so loudly I can For the record, the Red Cross hardly hear them. “Emotive music” Feeling cheated by my demor- treated three girls for mild hysteria, and other phrases flash through my alising experience, I feel I more and supplied another, temporarily mind in a last minute bid for proper than make up for it every day by deafened, with ear-plugs. intellectual non-participation. Hear indulging in the culture of the scream - its me I think. The aperitivo, more popularly called Confessions of a Beatle Girtonian in the row in front of me “happy hour” here in Milan Lover looks round in scornful superiority. where the brilliant tradition was For a critical appraisal of he perform- “John! Paul, oh Paul!”Back outside invented. Buying a drink in most ance at the Regal Cinema on Tuesday cars, policemen, fans and Hearties bars from 6-9pm allows you to night, Page 3 turned to the reactions from the nearby pubs are jammed enjoy a light pre-dinner snack if of an undergraduate. This is an together. Some undergraduate next you are a classy Milanese with extract from her diary: to me suggests an atomic bomb, disposable income, or on the “ Was sick in the afternoon. Query: “and then there’d be no more young other hand, to greedily devour over-excited anticipation or dyspep- people in the town for five years, the delicious free buffet laid out sia? Surely latter. and no more policemen for ten”. and turn it into dinner itself if Beatles arrived in Cambridge in a Everyone was looking for the you are a shameless, starving black Maria, apparently. Cannot think Beatles: could they get to the student. In fact, if all the injus- hey sang “Money”. And good, but the audience barely why they did not walk straight in. So University Arms hotel in safety? tices and misfortunes in the tickets were touted for a clapped. But when anyone mentioned many Beatles haircuts and jackets “Wo ist dein Beatle?” says a world could be brought into fiver each on the steps of one of their names, the screams start- around I’m sure they never would be German student from the Bell relief by good food and fancy the ‘Regal’. Before they ed. noticed... school. Says Pittman John Bell, cocktails, Milan would be the appeared on stage, there With three minutes to go, the com- On with the show. Felt slightly leaping out of his MG: “I want to city of redemption. Twere others - some very pere really started to whip up the giddy at the music. Made joke about touch the seat they sit on.”

Features

&ArtsFriday November 3rd 2006 | Issue 645

The North

Features Arts Theatre Reviews » Money » Northern » The Varsity » Borat’s new management: music and the archives reveal film reviewed how to get rich working class some famous and we launch in Cambridge stereotype faces our exclusive competion P 14-15 P 20-21 P 23 P 25

14 varsity.co.uk/features | 03.11.06 Features Front Money E

Matters K A R D

M I T

Y B

N O I T A R T S U L L I s e r u t a e F

varsity.co.uk/features | 03.11.06 15

Imogen Walford investigates the flow of money around Cambridge to find out who’s pinching out of whose pocket Q A

tudents and money. Ha. Hearing University. Instead they work on a personal holiday, but the margin for about the perilous state of your strictly non-profit, you-earn-what-you- individual incompetence is pretty wide. Sfriends’ bank balances, it seems need basis. CUSU has to raise five Take the ball committees, for example. & the old stereotype that students just times as much as they get from JCRs Freshers, you won’t have come across can’t balance the books dies hard. Let’s through events. And even the Treasurer this phenomenon yet, but take it on be honest, most of us can’t even man- of the Union’s job, which at least super- trust: the only thing people will bitch age the simple equation that student ficially sounds like a licence to spend, more about in Lent term than having loan minus a night in Cindies minus turns out to be fundraising and yet the “right” ticket is the committee cute dress in Topshop equals bankrupt- behind it. If the President is sensible, cy. And yet large sums of money are Let’s be honest, great. If they get it into their heads to entrusted yearly into the hands of stu- » have a power trip, you have a problem. dents themselves. As you hand over most of us can’t even And giving someone a huge amount of your £95 Union subscription, £6 theatre cash and telling them to throw a party ticket, or £3 Ents entrance fee, have manage the simple can be a pretty bad move, as the result- you never wondered whether the stu- equation that student ing deficit sometimes proves. In 2003, Tess Riley talks to Stelios dent you’re handing it to is actually any the King’s Event managed to lose good with money? And how much loan minus a night in £16,000 which, with an annual budget about life, work, and his money these guys are actually sitting of around £40,000, is quite a miscalcula- belief that cheap air travel on? Cindies minus cute tion. Well, with a bit of digging, the budg- dress in Topshop It also doesn’t take much digging to might have prevented the ets can be found. The big boys - the find people annoyed with the money Grad Union, CUSU, the Union - all equals bankruptcy systems in place. Bureaucratic inepti- Middle East conflict release theirs on the Internet; if you tude scores pretty highly. On approach- ever get bored of facebook-ing, take a more fundraising. Ali Al-Ansari stresses ing one producer, it emerged that the The “easy” name covers everything look. Other treasurers happily give out that he’s raised over £20,000 in the last ADC had repaid them in October for a from pizzas to toiletries. How far do figures. Adam Lenson produces a figure year for the society. Ents committees production in early February. And, sur- you envision the brand extending? of £20,000 for the ADC. Clare Ents gets and drama societies live a frankly prise surprise, the smaller the society, Into any consumer-facing business which back quickly with the figure of £5- hand-to-mouth existence, ploughing the more inefficient the whole thing meets our brand values. Drilling for oil, 6,000. But not everyone is so keen to any profits back into the next event. becomes. Don’t be surprised to see although possibly very profitable, is out divulge. For instance, the treasurer at And when it’s up to you to try and something along the lines of “chase as it's a business-to-business enterprise. Jazz at John’s sends a helpful email – make ends meet, putting your hand money” on the “To Do” lists of most peo- Funeral homes are out too – if I tried to but no numbers. anywhere near the cookie jar seems as ple working on a paid-back-from-receipt add value by reducing the price I don't With these numbers, visions of a car- sensible as shooting off your own foot. basis for a while after the event is over. think anyone would buy more than one! toon treasurer diving into pots of But then that turns out to be a pretty The closer you look, the more the money are quickly fading. Mark tricky feat anyway. Behind every stu- position of “Treasurer” seems less for Do you think the brand is all-encom- Ferguson, President of CUSU, is at dent with control of the cash appears the power-hungry and more an accoun- passing to the point of removing indi- pains to point out how broke our union the wary eye of a senior treasurer – a tant’s wet dream. But at the end of the viduality from the market? is in comparison to others. The yearly non-student whose entire purpose is to day, as long as they can add two and I think all that we are doing is increas- turnover for CUSU is around £400,000, keep you out of trouble. You’d have to two, the system sort of carries itself. So ing competition which keeps prices lower but “Leeds University Students Union work pretty hard to fleece money out of maybe the person who left school a year for consumers. Look how the price of (a comparable institution in terms of anyone in all this. ago controlling a few thousand should- flights has come down over the past 11 student population, and Russell Group So, can we all breathe a big sigh of n’t scare us too much. After all, it’s only years since easyJet started. status) has a turnover of £8.2 million.” relief that Cambridge student finances a matter of months before they can go Suddenly £400,000 feels quite small. are so watertight? Well, yes and no. It’s and work for the Treasury. Which Aviation is the fastest-growing It quickly emerges that none of these pretty unlikely that anyone’s going to should probably scare us a whole lot source of greenhouse gases and societies gets any money from the be able to divert a society’s funds into a more. according to Friends of the Earth, climate change is the greatest envi- ronmental threat. What is your TeNTs promoter and recent Cambridge graduate response? I care about the environment and we can Simon Calder comments on the realities of student enterprise all do something. Rather than penalising low-cost airlines by charging a flat-rate “That’s the future” said the soundman “alternative” night currently couldn’t be establishing an unprecedented bar- environmental tax, it is better to concen- at Buffalo Bar last Tuesday, inspecting easier: even Ballare spawned “I Predict sales incentive discount with The Fez trate first on areas where there is a my sketch of Bo-Peep during their a Party”. However, such nights soon Club. Meanwhile, despite manic face- “greener alternative”. For example, peo- sound-check for an ArtRocker club become homogeneous when book-ing, old-fashioned flyering ple should be asking themselves, “Can I night. With cameras now increasingly powered by avarice alone. is our most effective public- drive a smaller car?” banned from gig venues, he imagines a Hence TeNTs’ steering ity method. I alone There is no alternative to taking a sudden increase in demand for court- clear of corporate devote most nights to plane on most journeys from Great room-style sketches of rock concerts. If funding in favour of the club circuit before Britain. Sure, you can go from London to this engineer thus imagines me far promotional deals coming home, not to Paris by train, but when I go home to more Dragon’s Den than I am, I simi- with local busi- sleep but to design Athens to see my parents, there is no larly misconstrue Paul ArtRocker (mag- nesses, like more flyers, before I alternative but to fly. Flying brings peo- azine editor/promoter). Paul has always Dogfish. Another resume my day job. ple together. For instance, one and a half relied on hawkish business partners to anti-corporate Is it worth it? million Britons now live in France. control his unbridled enthusiasm. The measure is the Along with question Flying makes the world a safer place. I ArtRocker franchise’s success is signifi- effort that’s gone of whether shutter- bet there would be less conflict between cant; in a world dominated by get-rich- into TeNTs’ aesthet- speed gig-illustrating “the West” and the Middle East if there quick philosophies, a willingness to ic, with all posters and will take off, that’s for was much cheaper air travel between the spend time and money on something flyers designed by the future to reveal. Two regions. one loves regardless of the (hopefully myself. things are certain however; finite) time it takes to generate money, Setting up club nights (hiring firstly, it’s not worth throwing What is the biggest lesson that life is inspiring. drum-kits, PA etc.) costs money. Thus yourself into such entrepreneurialism has taught you so far? Take an example close to both Paul’s arranging good deals with venues is unless you absolutely love every syner- If it seems too good to be true it probably is. heart and my own: indie music. Indie essential. TeNTs were only able to gistic process involved, and secondly, I being the new pop, starting up an afford Deaf Stereo for “Obstacle 1” by wouldn’t change it for the world. 16 varsity.co.uk/features | 03.11.06 Science UNDER THE LABCOAT Popular Science

Aaran Sohan Singh Since the success of A Brief History of Time, On Space Travel science writing has regularly found its way into pace travel: the very words con- jure images of a rarefied realm Sexclusive to men in bulky white the bestsellers’ lists. Udayan Bhattacharya spacesuits, of astronauts releasing M&Ms that float eerily and Neil considers the rise of the genre Armstrong hopping on the moon. This area of science has long been held as accessible only to governments and wenty years ago the term been greater. Penguin, one of the research. Their genuine love and pas- technocrats. But the human imagina- “Popular Science” might have world’s leading publishing houses, in sion for their subject shows in their tion has never ceased to be fascinated Tbeen considered an oxymoron their first half results have mentioned writing and it is this passion that by that realm, with sci-fi TV series amongst the general public. If you science as one of the “most outstanding attracts the millions of readers to their and astronauts returning with spell- grew up in the 70’s or 80’s and had contributors” to their strong books. Their genuine interest in binding accounts of their trips. As bestseller performance this addressing Joe Bloggs and educating John Glenn, the oldest man in space, year. Borders say they are con- people about their work reflects a gen- put it: “I just wish everybody could » There is no need stantly having to accommodate eral attempt by the scientific communi- experience this. The view is so hard to the ever growing volume of pop- ty to communicate and spread aware- describe. It’s moving, it’s emotional.” to hide from friends ular science publications every ness outside the academic bubble.Of Thus began the public’s fascination while lingering in the year. According to the American course the revenues and the royalty with the thought of space travel, the Physical Society, five per cent of money no doubt aid that feeling of people to whom this had previously popular science the total effort of every Physics spreading awareness and embracing been unavailable. In 2004 the Ansari section of Borders department should be devoted to the ordinary non-scientists. Science X-Prize was announced, for the first popularisation. writing, like any other form of writing, private manned spacecraft. In October anymore One plausible explanation for has huge commercial incentives and if of the same year Burt Rutan’s this recent fascination you are good you could SpaceShipOne claimed that prize and Frontiers of Science in your comic of the general popula- make fortunes, especially rocketed into the history books. Since collection, chances are you had few tion with popular science with the favourable appetite then, more and more people have friends who were as geeky as you. It’s could be the internet. It of people for popular science climbed onto the space travel band- interesting how fashion trends in read- would not be an unfair corre- these days. The sheer wagon; billionaires everywhere, from ing have taken a complete turn and lation to make between the breadth of subjects under American Dennis Tito to Iranian-born names like Simon Singh, Stephen advent of the World Wide the umbrella of popular sci- Anousheh Ansari. The most recent Hawking and Richard Dawkins have Web and the rise in populari- ence means that writers mogul to join the space rush is one of graced coffee tables and cupboards ty of science writing. Dr. never run out of things to Bill Gates’ former buddies at across the board. There is no need to Adrian Hunt, a social anthro- write about and there is Microsoft, Charles Simonyi; a man hide from friends while lingering in the pologist, says “Popular always a wide variety of who helped develop the software that popular science section of Borders any- Science, in a slight contrast topics for people to read. allowed this article to be written. He more and it is perhaps even “cool” to to general fiction, requires a The impact of popular claims that he just “might be the first have a mild interest in science issues. certain level of previous science has been so huge nerd in space” when he takes a Ever since A Brief History of Time in knowledge of the history and over the past decade and a Russian Soyuz flight to the the early 90s, science writing has been recent developments in the particular half that even the more traditional seri- International Space Station in March touching new zeniths. What has caused field. The wide availability of informa- ous science publications like Nature 2007. this sudden downpour of popular sci- tion and the easy exchange of ideas and Scientific American are making Capitalising on this burgeoning ence literature and why is it so thanks to the internet have cer- their content more accessible to the public interest in space tourism, pri- popular? tainly aided the general awareness general public. This not only makes vate companies like AERA Jonathan Baker, a recent PhD of science issues amongst the pop- good commercial sense but reflects a Corporation and Richard Branson’s graduate who is currently working ulation and its impact on popular universal shift in attitude where people Virgin Galactic have announced plans on the draft of his book on time science writing definitely cannot are willing to read light scientific mate- to send paying passengers into space travel through string theory says be discounted.” This, coupled with rial. Pseudoscience (as it was once as early as next year. Virgin Galactic “people are interested, and it’s the ever increasing influence sci- called) has now become widespread in has acquired licensing rights to Burt great to let people outside academ- ence and technology is having on popular culture, especially in teenage Rutan’s technology and is engineering ic circles know about your work - our daily lives, means that flying groups, which is always an encouraging the successor to Rutan’s famous this is the best time to do it. fortunes of popular science writ- sign. The audience for popular science flight, called SpaceShipTwo. Booking Previously scientists have not had ers can only continue on an has never been greater and the future on the first Virgin Galactic spaceflight the opportunity or the market to upward trajectory. hasn’t looked rosier. The message is has begun, and a blow-by-blow let the common man know about What’s more remarkable is that loud and clear – science is no longer account of the experience is available their work”. It is indeed true; the most of the writers are also the best in passé and is, instead, very much in the on their website. appetite for science literature has never their field of study, engaged in top-end mainstream reading culture. The current pricetag for a seat on a spaceflight is $200,000. Not exactly affordable for the general public, but space tourism companies predict that prices will fall with technical BLUESCI HEADLINES advances. As space travel opens up to the public, one has to wonder how the » Neanderthals Weren't a » The Brain Tackles » Experimenting on common man’s worldview will change: Flash in the Pan Grammar Giant Extinct Woodlice seeing the world below you, without A study published in Nature last week has How do our brains tell the difference Before the dinosaurs, trilobites roamed the the man-made boundaries drawn in, shed some light on just how long our between a noun and a verb? Not how oceans. They are now extinct, but looking at the source of everything it ancestors shared the world with you might think, according to research Professor Richard Fortey has been "trying means to be human, one wonders if Neanderthal men, suggesting that they from the Department of Experimental to bring them back to life", or at least work man will be as territorial and combat- survived in Europe until much more Psychology. out how they lived. ive in the future as he has been in recently than was previously thought. the past.

varsity.co.uk/features | 03.11.06 17

Susan Greenfield Zoe Organ picks the brains of Baroness Susan Greenfield: world famous neuroscientist, life peer, and the first woman to become Director of the Royal Institution of Great Britain

You started your career as a classicist they enjoy putting themselves in situations with their lives. But many are depressed Considering the political and ethical and then specialised in psychology. where they lose their minds, as the phrase because they are unfulfilled and lacking a elements of your work, the next ques- What took you from classics to the “blow my mind” suggests. People crave sense of identity. I think much of this is due tion might be controversial. Is there a brain and how do they inform one abandonment of the self and appear to be to the suppression of the creative force. great difference in the chemical make- another? seeking it more and more. The kind of ques- Making something, suddenly seeing a con- up of brains from different parts of the In Classics, the idea of the individual ver- tions you face as a neuroscientist deal with nection that no-one else has seen, is one of world? sus determinism is key and features highly why this is happening. the most self-affirming feelings. No, the wonderful thing is that we are all in the work I do now. For example, there born as “citizens of the world”. Between are three generations of Tragedians: in Do you think the pace of life many Do you think you could speculate in babies there is no huge difference. But Aeschlyus, people are pawns in the game, people lead today will affect mental evolutionary terms about where the within the first six months there will be cracking under the pressure of the health? brain might go next? cultural changes. Especially regarding lan- inevitable victory of fate; in Sophocles, the Yes, certainly. The WHO predicts that by This is a gloomy answer, but screen culture guage. A Japanese baby, for instance, will individual interacts with the fates; in the end of the century the most common ill- and the way technology focuses us around be able to distinguish between “r” and “l” Euripides, the internalisation of Fate occurs ness will be depression. One in four suffers sounds, sensations and experiences is going sounds at birth, but within the first six and this takes characters into extraordi- from depression at the moment. I think this to effect the cognitive function. We are months they have lost this. nary states of mind. Chemical studies of is because this is the first era when, en going to become trapped in the here and the brain throw up the same sort of ques- masse, we have so much time on our hands. now, to become quick and compulsive. This Tony Blair gave you a life peerage in tions these ideas raise, such as how far we My mother dodged bombs in the war; my is a cultural phenomenon translating itself the House of Lords. Are there any par- are a product of our chemical makeup. grandmother worried about how to feed her onto the brain. ticularly prominent political aspects family. They spent their time just surviving to your work? In Brain Drugs for the Future you dis- without wondering about things. Everyone Does Alzheimer’s affect the subcon- Cannabis is a main concern. People simply cuss the suggestion that there might now has the time to think about what they scious - can people with Alzheimer’s don’t realise how precious our brains are be a peptide in charge of every emo- are doing here. I don’t think we will settle dream? and the effect that these drugs can have on tion. Is our personality and sense of until we have found the answers. Alzheimer’s is a little like brain develop- them. How can we claim to regulate “self” just a chemical balance? ment going backwards. It is like the connec- cannabis? Tell me what is a safe dose! No. The various peptides and the chemicals It is well-known that you are against tions being dismantled. As a child, you There is no safe dose. How dare we legis- we take move around the self. The very the over-prescription of antidepres- come to understand the world more and its late to people who don’t understand what word “ecstasy” means to lose yourself, liter- sants. Do you think depression is a relation to yourself. With Alzheimer’s it is they are doing? ally to stand outside of your self. This question of finding the purpose in life? the other way around. The relationship chemical reaction can happen through It is easy to be crass regarding depression, I between the subconscious and conscious intense emotion. When people take Ecstasy don’t want to just tell everyone to get on does not change. opportunity

Want to find out what Investment Banking is all about?

Citigroup invites students from any discipline who are interested in Summer Internships to participate in Cambridge Day on Campus on Wednesday 15th November 2006 at the Crowne Plaza Hotel Downing Street.

Citigroup Day on Campus is designed to give you the Time Event opportunity to learn more about our 2007 Summer 09.30 - 1 1.00 Interviewing & Assessment Internships and the daily activities across our business Centre Workshop areas, within Citigroup Corporate and Investment Banking. 11.00 - 13.00 Capital Markets Case Study Detailed below is the timetable of the day: 14.00 - 16.00 Investment Banking please note you can come along for one or all Case Study of the sessions. 16.00 - 18.00 Trading Game To sign up for the Citigroup Day on Campus, please e-mail [email protected] stating The spaces are allocated on a first-come-first-served basis. Cambridge Day on Campus in the subject box, clearly indicating which session(s) you would like to attend.

We look forward to meeting you! Citigroup Graduate Recruitment Team Careers Service events

For undergraduates and postgraduates of all degree disciplines. All years welcome ...... try to come to both days. Autumn Careers Event Wednesday 8th November, 1.00 – 6.00pm Emphasis on Science, Technology & IT

ALSTOM ŠAPT Š ARM Š AVEVA Solutions Š AWE Bank of England Š Barclays Capital ŠBetfair Š Bloomberg Š BP Š Bristows Š BT Cambridge Technology Group Š CB&I UK Limited Š CHP Consulting Š Citigroup Š Codian Š Corus Š CSR Data Connection Limited Š dstl ŠDeloitte Š Detica Š Dorset Software Services EADS Astrium Š Ensoft Faber Maunsell Š Gill Jennings & Every GKN Š Government Communications Headquarters Š Govt IT Profession - Technology in Business Fast Stream ICI Š Imperial College London Š Interfleet Technology Jagex Š John Lewis Partnership (IT) Š Johnson Matthey Š Lloyds TSB Merck Sharp & Dohme Š Microsoft Š Morgan Stanley ŠMX Telecom NDS Š Network Rail ŠNorwich Union Insurance Group Šnpower Ocado Limited ŠPi Group ŠProcter & Gamble Red Gate Software Ltd Š Reuters Limited Š Roke Manor Research ŠRolls-Royce Schlumberger ŠSiemens plc ŠSoftwire Teach First Š Tessella Support Services Š The Actuarial Profession Š Transport for London ŠTTP Group Walsh Associates Š Wood Group ŠyouDevise Thursday 9th November, 1.00 – 6.00pm Emphasis on Business & Management

Accenture Š Aldi Š Army Š Barclays Capital Š Buck Consultants Cancer Research UK Š Centrica Š C I P F A Š Citadel Investment Group College of Law Š Constellation Energy Commodities Group Š Coty data2impact Š Deloitte ŠDetica Explore Learning Š Financial Services Authority Š Govt IT Profession - Technology in Business Fast Stream Š GradsEast Š HM Revenue and Customs Š InBev Š Institute of Chartered Accountants of England & Wales KPMG Š Lloyds TSB Group plc Š Lovells Maersk Š Marks and Spencer Š Merck Sharp & Dohme Š Microsoft Š Mitchells and Butlers Š Moody’s KMV NHS Management Trainee Scheme Š Norwich Union Insurance Group Philips Š Police Service Š PricewaterhouseCoopers Š Procter & Gamble Š Punter Southall Royal Air Force Š Royal Navy Tanaka Business School Š Teach First Š Tesco Stores ŠTravers Smith Š Transport for London UnileverŠyouDevise...... and more UNIVERSITY CENTRE GRANTA PLACE, MILL LANE, CAMBRIDGE

Please bring your University id card with you to this event. Entry is restricted to current University of Cambridge students and recent alumni. We will ask you for your student crs id (eg abc123) to record attendance levels from different years and courses. Cumulative, depersonalised data will allow us to improve the shape and content of our future events. Your personal data will not be passed to anyone outside the University. www.careers.cam.ac.uk

20 varsity.co.uk/arts |03.11.06 varsity.co.uk/arts | 03.11.06 21 Arts Front Sam Blatherwick takes a look at Sheffield’s musical heritage…

It was in the early 80’s that Sheffield’s Bleep’n’Bass scene (LFO, Nightmares on music came to a climax. The sudden avail- Wax), and eventually became one of the ability of cheap electronic equipment (pre- most important electronic labels in the viously only within the financial reaches of world. Meanwhile on the pop front, Pulp the most pompously progtastic bands), cou- eventually broke into the charts with their MIXTAPE pled with a publicly-funded youth theatre gritty, semi-fantastical social commentary Welcome To programme called Meatwhistle, spawned and struck a chord with a Britpop crowd such grotesquely-named bands as Musical who found them more authentic than Blur Vomit and The Dead Daughters and and more stimulating than brought together performers of the Oasis. With a perfect future. Emerging grasp of their own style from these theatrical they painted a fond but roots came the con- often unfavourable por- trasting styles of indus- trait of the city they had trial music (Cabaret emerged from: “every- Voltaire, Clock DVA), one on Park Hill came which reflected the in unison at 4.13am The North bleakness of the city, and and the whole block new pop (ABC, Human ndes fell down”. ng Blo League, Heaven 17) which The Lo Ten years later and lead singer fought against it. Both Jarvis Cocker seems to have become an Backwards, dirty, and miserable or progressive, styles were heavily electronic, but that was unofficial cultural leader. The current wave as far as the similarity went. Industrial - of Sheffield bands such as The Long the more challenging medium - focused on Blondes and The Arctic Monkeys made fresh and enlightening. Jonny Ensall considers the roughness of electronic sound, whereas their first naive steps in the footprints of ABC and The Human League chose to stay Pulp, before breaking away to forge prom- the cultural significance of the North clean, releasing only shimmering pop ising beginnings with the help of huge records. The Human League originally sang media support. They are joined by mercu- songs of a sci-fi persuasion, but when they ry-nominated Richard Hawley and he exact location of “The North” is progress, the “North”, as a place, can’t creates a wealth of intelligent feeling, but recruited two female singers they broke 65daysofstatic, the latter who are more a fact much disputed amongst seem to escape its obsession with the whose feelings are kept locked up by his from the geek stereotype that burdened so closely linked with artists from Warp and TCambridge students. It can range banal. The new raft of musical talent ineloquence, hence he must play a brass many electronic bands and hit the big time the industrial period. Warp Records is still from anywhere above Nottingham to that’s been floated into the mainstream instrument or take up ballet to release it. with “Don’t You Want Me”. based in Sheffield, representing the elec- anywhere above Camden. In fact, for still construct their lyrics out of the detri- It’s a stereotype pandered to by northern Towards the end of the decade Warp tronic culture there, but have taken to most, the North needn’t really exist in tus of Northern living – those who’ve writers such as Jon Godber, Willy Russell Records was formed in Sheffield, initially to releasing indie records to supplement any specific geographical or even tempo- picked up the song-writing torch from and Alan Bennet. This is not only untrue put out records from Yorkshire’s breadth in their output. ral location. Not only is Hull equivalent Morrissey and Jarvis Cocker don’t want (Northern people are as dull as everyone to Huddersfield in most people’s estima- to deviate from talking about pints and else) but it panders to the patronising tions but it’s widely assumed that in both motorways just yet. There is a definite fantasy, shared by middle class people, places hot water is a luxury known only preoccupation with slightly tawdry that a lack of intellect or vocabulary to few, fathers return home at sunset, aspects of life that helps Northern cul- can somehow contribute to a state of …whilst Mike Ansbro their faces covered inch think with coal ture to continue self-defining as a miser- emotional wealth, as if always acting dust and ten-year-old girls are still forced on your feelings without really speak- explores the Leeds scene into hazardous employment, cleaning There is a definite ing about them or thinking them industrial weaving looms while having to » through is like investing in an As much as it hurts to say it, Leeds does started sowing the seeds of a real communi- dodge the hammers of Luddites. preoccupation with emotional bank. This has led to have good reason to be thankful for the ty of bands, like-minded in ideals but indi- This is, of course, a parody; a scene the popular misconception that Kaiser Chiefs. Arguably, their recent suc- vidual in style. From this came ¡Forward, reminiscent of what many of you chaps the slightly tawdry Northern people are dying to cess has almost single-handedly re-estab- Russia! and guitarist Whiskas’ record label, might joke about whilst you’re waiting aspects of life that express themselves artistically, or lished Leeds on the musical map. Take a Dance to the Radio, whose two compilation for a horse you killed playing polo to be are secret geniuses just waiting walk through the city centre and you could albums offer a real flavour of the current replaced. The North is not a backwards, helps Northern culture for something to release their be forgiven for thinking that cream of the Leeds crop. smoke-clogged, crime-ridden anachro- potential. It’s time to accept everyone wants to look and Live, ¡Forward, Russia! are nism. In fact, cities like Leeds and to continue self- that this is not the case. The sound like the Kaiser chiefs, but incredible and their national recog- Manchester have a cosmopolitan streak defining as a bit North is as great, as shitty, as dig a little deeper and something nition has come as no surprise. The that would make Guildford envious. pretentious and as diversely far more exciting is going on. band has used its platform to cham- They’re diverse, interesting places, with miserable different as everywhere Since the likes of Gang of pion other Leeds bands: label-mates vibrant cultural scenes. Out on the else. If anything, the Four and the Wedding Present Yes Boss offer an antidote to the moors, up and down the valleys, middle able place. But out of misery, and out of secret to the recent emerged from the city, Leeds proliferation of indie bands with s class people attempt to build inappropri- scrutiny of the little things that would spate of musical suc- has been all but ignored by their astute, amusing and aggressive Sh ately trendy houses. Growing student otherwise seem inconsequential, there cess is a grounding in the music industry. And it’s ut Your Eyes hip-hop; Shut Your Eyes and You’ll populations in post-industrial towns have can sometimes arise an understanding the rich musical her- no bad thing. Away from the Burst Into Flames provide a barrage spawned trendy bars and art house cine- that surpasses wordiness and high art… itage of Manchester, limelight, bands in Leeds have never really of frenzied dance-punk; and both are bril- mas; in short the North is slowly being or so the theory goes. The Smiths can Leeds and felt pressure to conform to any particular liant. t transformed from an angry, desolate capture the most important moments in Sheffield, uncom- or characteristic sound, unlike their coun- Other Leeds bands worth getting excited place to be just as dull as the rest of mid- life perfectly without ever trying to pre- plicated by any terparts in other northern cities like about include This Et Al (between punk and dle England (except with a slightly more tend that pure love is anything more wider considera- Liverpool and Manchester. There has also post-rock), Duels (Blur meets Pulp in the sickly and patronising streak brought than a drunken evening or a name tions of a what a been no pressure on bands to sign con- 21st century), The Sunshine Underground about by the influx of people who think scratched on your arm with a fountain Northern band tracts before they’re ready, so when the (dance dance dance), Dead Disco (a sassier

r the dales are “rustic”). There are still pen or not really caring that you might should be. A sound records finally do hit the shops, they don’t Girls Aloud with synths), The Cribs men in caps who’ll mutter things to you suddenly be smashed to pieces in a hor- informed, above have the half-baked sound of potential not (Wakefield is almost Leeds) and Sky Larkin N on the bus about the problems with rific road accident. However, a lot of the all, by the dross I yet fulfilled. (girls can play guitars) to name but a few. Y

“darkies”, but racism like this, that keeps material generated by Northern song- and mundanities, E The buzz about music in the city has been Leedsmusicscene.net is a fantastic resource U Y

the BNP in business, is so much the writers, playwrights and film-makers as well as the E growing for the last five years or so. Out of which offers listings, discussion, reviews and K I

product of fear of change it becomes hard tries to apply the same thinking in a lot excitements that M the ashes of a number of broken bands who information on over 1,000 bands in the

Y B

not to feel sorry for those people who more unsuccessful way. continues to be had minor success promoting gigs at region. It provides a comprehensive guide N O

sidle up to you in public places to com- The awful “Northern” stereotype still relevant, and I Joseph’s Well (one of the most well-known to music in Leeds and is a great starting T A

plain about the density of brown faces. crops up in many different situations; that important, to all R venues in Leeds) came Transmission. They point for anyone wishing to find out more. T S

Yet, amongst all this ostensible of the working man whose life experience of us. U took over gig promotion at the Vine and Go on, you know you want to. A U L I 22 varsity.co.uk/arts | 03.11.06 Interview Dixie Chassay The London socialite and Casting Director for the Harry Potter films talks about the true meaning of talent with Emily Stokes

It is almost impossible to walk down herself sitting in her kitchen with her Portobello Road, past the vegetable sellers mother. “She had a really thick Northern and the Travel Bookshop, without imagin- Irish accent, and then, when she started ing yourself as the protagonist of a certain reading the script, she suddenly spoke in Working Title film. All you can do is hope- this cut glass, clipped, nineteen-thirties fully look out for an actor to bump into. In English accent. It was just…”, she searches fact, you’re quite likely to bump into a star for the right expression, “pure talent. You in Notting Hill – living, perhaps, in a small can’t learn that.” but stylish flat above a shop, or eating I had always wondered whether you can tapas in a Portugese cafe. Dixie Chassay is learn to act and, if not, whether at the centre of the film industry in her Cambridge graduates who are “natural” role as casting director for films such as actors really do need to go to drama school. Harry Potter and Atonement and she lives Cambridge students hear about the suc- the Notting Hill life with her boyfriend, cesses of graduates constantly – the Emma actor Tom Hollander. She first spotted him Thompson crew, Rachel Weisz, and more on his bicycle in the area, but then they recently Rebecca Hall and Dan Stevens. finally met – as all Brit flick characters Most of them seem to have found their feet should – at a wedding. quickly, but it’s also clear that there are Dixie Chassay’s life would transfer nicely many graduates who long to be actors but onto the silver screen. Her parents ran the can’t find any work; some wait in endless famous Groucho Club in London and have suspense for their agents to find them a showbiz friends in Hollywood and LA. David Hockney has painted her portrait and she was in Tatler’s “Top 100 most » Three out of a billion invited” with Tom Hollander. Her ex- people become boyfriend, James Blunt, wrote a song about her called “You’re Beautiful”. moviestars, and being Propping the front-door open with her foot, a moviestar hasn’t got clasping a miniscule roll-up cigarette in her fingers and rifling through a handbag anything to do with for her keys, she reminds me of Audrey Hepburn’s Holly Golightly; at one moment acting frantic, at the next perfectly composed and girlishly concentrated. She’s a bit puzzled part, others seem to be waiting to be “spot- as to why I want to meet her, “I mean, I’m ted” – by a casting director, perhaps. not famous, yet.” She looks at me with a But Dixie Chassay is clear in her advice rather suspicious expression, and asks me to young actors. “Go to drama school, and if I want to be an actress, and looks dis- be prepared to do theatre for two to five cretely relieved when I shake my head. years. England doesn’t have a film indus- She gets a lot of young actors wanting to try, but it does have theatre.” She takes meet her. Tom Hollander as an example (she often Dixie Chassay tells me that she can spot uses him as an example and always looks potential from a line-up of actors. Hers is a bit embarrassed afterwards); he went to a special kind of talent; casting directors Cambridge and did theatre before he ever are the only Heads of Department that made it into film. She tells me a story don’t get Oscars or awards, but she knows about a recent read-through of his for a that her job is as creative in its own way film, Inkheart, in which he had given a as directing. She had never heard of very strong performance, but one that was agents or casting directors until her first perhaps too strong, too interpretive; the year after school when she went to work part went to Andy Serkis (known for his on Saturday Night Live in New York, role as Gollum), “don’t act in auditions, and where she made friends with much older never learn your material too well. Show comedians like Chris Farley and then vis- that you can take direction. The director ited them in L.A. during her reading and casting director will see your poten- weeks while at Bristol University. She tial”. eventually started working for Jina Jay, This is both reassuring and worryingly the most successful casting director in mystical; she is sure to spot talent, but not Britain, who became a star in her own everyone can get the lead. What is clear is right by trawling the country for the per- that Dixie Chassay has a genuine respect fect Billy Elliot and Harry Potter. for people who really want to act. Dixie Dixie Chassay too gained press attention Chassay’s dream might be to spot the next when she trawled every girls’ boarding Keira Knightley, but her advice to young school in the country to find the girl to play actors is firm and has a real integrity. Briony Tallis alongside Keira Knightley for “Know the difference between being a Joe Wright’s adaptation of Ian McEwan’s moviestar and an actor. Three out of a bil- Atonement. When they had a shortlist of lion people become moviestars, and being a three nice posh English girls, she received moviestar hasn’t got anything to do with a DVD in the post. It was from Saoirse An eye for talent, but also eye-catching herself - James Blunt’s ubiquitous hit acting.” And with that, she looks at her Ronan, an eleven year old, who had filmed “You’re Beautiful” was inspired by Ms Chassay watch, gasps, and has to dash.

varsity.co.uk/arts | 03.11.06 23

THE ARTS The Good, COLUMN

the Bad Rob Petit and Lydia Bell In response to “Blue Movies”

“Where is it all going wrong?” poses and the author Jannes Adamson, fingering univer- sity filmmaking society Cinecam as poten- tial culprit in student film’s failure to gar- ner (inter)national credits or extend its influence anywhere beyond Cambridge. Forgotten For a start, this isn’t strictly true; films made by Cinecam members have recently been screened at the Rotterdam International Film Festival and the Akbank Film Festival, while the annual Cinecam Festival consistently attracts high profile judges such as Guardian film critic Peter Bradshaw. But, perhaps more pertinently, such a comparison misses the point. Societies like Cinecam are here to this hair is definitely ignite an interest in filmmaking, not to look, he’s churn out hit after hit. worth watching There is no prerequisite of experience or famous. knowledge for joining Cinecam and mak- well if it isn’t Judy ing a film and no penalty if the film doesn’t So’s he! turn out quite as hoped! Some films achieve an impressive quality while others, it is true, remain unfinished – but even in a few familiar » Societies like names of Cinecam are here to Footlights ignite an interest in fame filmmaking, not to churn out hit after hit

the latter case, if people feel that they have learnt something, then surely Cinecam has achieved its objective. The best way to learn filmmaking is to go out Crumbling, yellowed and smelly: I refer not to and do it and that is exactly what we help the aged ADC luvvies of yesteryear but rather people to do. to these ancient Varsity pages that they grace. Jannes remarks that “the committee A few hours spent absorbed in the Varsity itself couldn’t think of any success stories archives yielded some heartening as well as when pushed”. Just for the record, hilarious finds – there’s a strange pleasure, not Cinecam would like to state that we don’t as simple as straightforward Schadenfreude, in feel we were approached, let alone pushed. seeing and reading about the great and the It also seems strangely biased to comment good when they were a little less great, not on lack of big-time alumni success stories quite as good, and had much sillier hair.. They but to omit to mention that Cinecam has may be Dames and Lords and Channel 4 dar- only properly existed for three years. This lings now, but, comfortingly, they were once just notwithstanding, many members have had students. Then, as now, these fallible student summer experience in the film industry, actors and directors were judged, misjudged, with jobs ranging from runners on film overhyped and overlooked by their equally falli- sets in London and New York to Assistant ble student journalists. Sam Mendes’s bafflingly and not such a Producer for new channel MTV Flux. unequivocal audition announcement “All must familiar name The society has grown rapidly over the Audition”, smacks of the student director awk- last few years, going from strength to wardly seeking to convey conviction and “all” strength as desktop editing and DV cam- presumably made for quite a few auditionees but eras have become progressively more maybe old flame Rachel Weisz was among them. accessible and affordable. This growth is “Everyone is inexperienced” says the once something to be proud of, especially in the hotly-tipped Emily O’Connor, to whom a gushing shadow of the theatre scene here at entire page is devoted. O Emily O’Connor, once Cambridge, which has been established for hailed as Cambridge’s finest actress, it seems you hundreds of years and is still the best way remained inexperienced. Getting it right though, for actors and writers to be seen by one reviewer opines of fresh-faced Mel Giedroyc – agents. But times are changing: we are “I am sure we will see more of her in the future”. seeing the emergence of a new type of We also saw quite a lot more of Judy Dench (pic- filmmaking right now and this is a very tured above) and despite their “unoriginal materi- exciting time to be involved. al”, Emma Thompson, Rory McGragh, Clive Anderson and chums. 24 varsity.co.uk/arts | 03.11.06

Compliance or Complaisance? James Drinkwater investigates the popularity and modernist hypocrisy surrounding Shostakovich

Not without a hint of envy has poet Detractors of Shostakovich have their composer’s demotic language. A helpful the Fifth Symphony (with its deliciously Geoffrey Hill, formerly of Emmanuel own difficult line to toe. Undoubtedly they parallel is Benjamin Britten, who enjoyed ironic final movement), and certain College, written eloquently about music see the too-easily gratifying nature of his a mutually-respectful friendship with tableaux of War and Peace. The harmonic “composing her own sphere”. Yet for compositions, particularly those of his mid- Shostakovich from the time of their first idiom is more highly wrought, more anniversary composer Dmitri Shostakovich dle period, as having compromised the meeting in 1960 at the London première of volatile perhaps, but less contingent upon (1906-75), the possibilities for an unre- strength of his musical arguments. the famous (though wearying) first Cello those equivocating, often apologetic stricted play of artistic ideas were few and Thinking of the concertos and symphonies Concerto. In Britten he found someone dichotomies and dualities one finds as far between within his own sphere of oper- in particular (the latter variously subtitled equally willing to contribute socially use- recurring hinges in Shostakovich (and ation – the Eastern bloc. “Leningrad”, “The Year 1905”, “The Year ful and widely performable music which find their unfortunate apotheosis in The extent of Shostakovich’s acquies- 1917”), the material is claimed to be too (Anglican service music, music for broad- the DSCH motif, and throughout the cence, both active and passive, alleged and rough-hewn, crassly-structured, sensation- cast), and committed to revising the Eighth String Quartet). substantiated, with the Soviet regime has al (both in its terrorising and its heroicis- national idiom, though not distorting it But what might be wrong with certain been a topic of debate since the time when ing), even functional. Moreover, against the beyond recognition, or beyond the point of compositional predilections? The cult of he was willing to denounce compatriot back-drop of West-European avant-garde emotional effectiveness. Both rejected seri- continual innovation, leading to alienation, Mstislav Rostropovich’s aggressive defence modernism, and indeed, somewhat para- alism outright, thoroughgoing or other- is perhaps the greater oppressor of compo- of author Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn upon his doxically, under the still-pervasive influ- wise. Yet there is considerable divergence. sitional creativity in this post-Romantic receipt of the Nobel Prize for Literature in ence of Adorno’s Marxist philosophy, If Shostakovich broods quite cinematically era of music. And the avant-garde is 1970. Just as strong has been the hunt for Shostakovich’s working between the centre over scenes of national strife or honour, arguably more subject to fetishes and gim- posthumous readings of political subver- and edges of that “compositional arcadia” - Britten, not least in his operas Peter mickry than their more conservative sion in his works, notably the Fifth tonality - is taken as a simple methodologi- Grimes and Death in Venice, agonizes over cousins – witness the jumping on political Symphony. However, a political method of cal offence by the cultural intelligentsia. social pressures exerted on the interiority bandwagons by Cage and anti-establish- appraisal is now being replaced with a The University Professor of Music, of peculiar individuals. But a macroscopic ment minimalists of the 60s (rug-concerts more practically critical approach, asking Robin Holloway, whose new collection of perspective is surely unavoidable in a and all). Indeed, it may have required the basic question of whether Shostakovich musical essays has become a veritable totalitarian state. greater courage for Shostakovich not to was aesthetically and technically a good bible for many a Cambridge muso, is keen That other Soviet, Sergei Prokofiev have given up on his country and its peo- composer. It is the new antagonism to avoid any “emotional blackmail” by (1891-1953) offers another useful compari- ple, in spite of the Communist regime, and between those who can and those who can- Shostakovich’s oppressed circumstances. son. It may be found that although one to have continued enjoying composing not swallow the actual popularity of this Supporters are no doubt fearful of sub- enjoys fewer works of Prokofiev, one actual- music, and giving others similar enjoy- composer which proves most interesting as scribing to a mere humanitarian cause ly enjoys them much more than those of ment, right until his death – enjoyment a measure of the current state of cultural (and an historical one at that), but they Shostakovich, particularly large-scale that was otherwise rather scarce in Russia politics. see no problem or contradiction in the works such as the Third Piano Concerto, during his tortured lifetime.

varsity.co.uk/arts | 03.11.06 25 Reviews Borat! #### VIEW FROM Dir: Larry Charles THE GODS

“A word of warning”, says the needs no embellishment. George W. Bush drink the is a charming man who could usher as we walk in. “If any- The sublime culture clash blood of every man, woman very easily be “Americanised”, one is easily offended, I sug- that director Larry Charles and child in Iraq” to the Borat enters with his freshly- gest you get the hell out of sets up reveals all that is cheering crowd’s delight? laid shit in a napkin, followed here.” right and wrong with America Cohen may be brilliant in his by the prostitute he has Sure enough, Borat gleeful- and its people, who range guise, but the true stars of the ordered. The movie is weakest Jeff James ly offends. From the moment from the polite to the absurd, film are the clueless Yanks he when the natural reactions Sacha Baron Cohen’s faux- veteran feminists to hardcore ensnares with shocking ease and improvisations are On Race-blind Casting reporter leaves his decrepit evangelists, all viewed along the way as they reveal scrapped for clearly scripted Kazakhstan village in a through the eyes of an inno- their prejudices and miscon- material that plays like an In this week’s stomp-stravagant pro- horse-drawn Ford, to the cent, albeit anti-Semitic and ceptions. inferior Road Trip. The neces- duction of In the Blood, as part of Anti- moment he returns from the misogynistic outsider. The The range of humour in sity to form a plot out of essen- Racism Week, director Lucy Beynon has “US and As”, where he has essence of America’s values Borat, from edgy satire to tially plotless material proved self-consciously brought together a cast been sent by his government are pierced by Borat’s hapless physical comedy (a naked to be the biggest flaw in the of students who are new to Cambridge to make an educational film antics – where has the ‘have- wrestling fight springs to Ali G film, but thankfully the drama. For a text that examines non- (a mission he swiftly ditches a-nice-day’ etiquette gone mind, complete with an occasionally clunky script white lives, Beynon has encouraged in order to track down Pamela when people shout abuse at unwelcome “scrotum on fore- doesn’t obscure what Cohen non-white students to audition, hoping Anderson and marry her), this Borat when his pet chicken head” shot) is as wide as does best – getting up noses. to correct what has been perceived as a mockumentary keeps you escapes from his bag on the Borat’s doltish grin, and deliv- “Please, you watch! Right white bias in theatre. guiltily laughing and groaning subway? Is that some violent ered with perfect timing. Just now.” The lack of ethnic diversity on the simultaneously. U.S. patriotism we spy at the as the high-class host of a chic Olly Riley-Smith Cambridge stage is not necessarily the For those who can take rodeo as Borat hollers “may dinner party remarks that he fault of anyone here: it’s a question of their comedy with a heavy social malaise stretching back for years. pinch of salt, there is plenty to Nevertheless, it’s something we have to amuse, and far more than the be aware of and avoid worsening. All crude, racial variety of casting should be utterly race blind. humour that people have been Yes, even Othello. Race is almost entire- quick to criticise. Yes, there is ly a social construction and I don’t real- that too – here is Borat ly mind if audiences have difficulty sus- reporting on the “Running of pending disbelief over supposed the Jew”, where Kazaks are race/realism issues. Theatre is a chased by green-faced, huge- supremely non-realist medium: there headed monsters that lay are a load of people standing on some “Jew eggs” to be jubilantly wooden platforms pretending to be peo- stamped on by children. There ple they’re not. It’s pernicious for a is the friendly neighbourhood director to decide on the ethnicity of a rapist, who our hero cheekily person they’re casting before auditions - advises to “stick to humans”. the job should go to the best actor. Although Cohen’s portrait of Directors may talk about needing to Kazakhstan is clearly fabri- find the actor who looks right, but when cated, some awful part of us it comes to skin colour these concerns wants to believe in it; but far can quickly become absurd. Coming funnier is the country that back from Stratford the other week, I overheard a white actress in Henry VI complaining about the colour of her onstage baby. She was understudying a black actress and the plastic baby had Red Road #### Online been black. She had demanded a white baby for the performances when she Dir: Andrea Arnold this week had the part. This kind of “realism” is unnecessary and unhelpful. The dynas- » Take a look tic concerns of the play were not con- Red Road is the first film to compelled to manoeuvre herself The use of CCTV as a key at the Varsity fused by the House of Lancaster being come out of the “Advance Party” towards a confrontation without theme is sympathetically done, portrayed by both white and black project, a concept of Sigma and knowing exactly where it may avoiding the “Big Brother is website at actors any more than other incongruous Lars Von Trier’s Zentropa, lead. Her motives appear at watching you” overly-dramatic combinations of families. I know Rob which offered three directors and pessimistic argument that varsity.co.uk, Cummings and Bex Pitt aren’t identical the same list of seven charac- » A stark but society is losing its humanity. for the great twins, but it didn’t matter in Twelfth ters and a set of “rules” with Instead, those behind the cam- Night. In a part like Othello or Hester, which they were to create some- carefully observed eras guide us towards and giveaway - you the actor needs to convey an aloof oth- thing unique. Within these thriller reveal the everyday quirks and erness in the first case and a ballsy for- bounds, Arnold has produced a eccentricities life offers, giving could win titude in the latter: skin colour is irrele- film that beautifully explores once murderous and seductive, insight into both the darker and Borat table- vant, just as it should be in any selec- the nature of grief, revenge and and at times it seems as though warmer sides of the world, and tion. Othello is a hard part, and a quick forgiveness in an unforgivingly Jackie herself has lost her way, its brutal realities. Dickie’s fan- tennis sets brain and a virtuosity for verse are the grim setting. neglecting her other responsibil- tastic performance, from the and even your issues. Equally, one should be able to Arnold’s stark but carefully ities as she becomes increasing- execution of Jackie’s plan to the cast an excellent black actor as, say, observed thriller focuses on ly preoccupied. final atonement, shocks and very own, Hamlet without it being a political deci- Jackie (Kate Dickie), who works Red Road’s urban setting intrigues. Her character’s clois- sion. So enough of “black actor as a CCTV operator in Glasgow brings the film its marked tered existence amongst the infamous required” on the actors’ list: such and also a kind of omniscient bleakness and the apartment flickering screens and darkened green Borat requests suggest that other parts are guardian angel to the small sec- blocks, high-rising monoliths annexes of the control station, white-only. In this most otherworldly of tion of the city she casts her eye that flank the road itself, almost teamed with long, wordless swimsuit (no, mediums the peculiar prejudices of over. When Jackie one day become characters in them- scenes, highlights all that is many should be forgotten: racial differ- observes Clyde (Tony Curran), a selves, dominating the imagery intriguing about the “art of really) ence is a troubled concept, and we man whom she has clearly been and representing a world that watching”. should actively work to ignore its dic- affected by in the past, she is Jackie must bravely enter into. Marie Keyworth tates. 26 varsity.co.uk/arts | 03.11.06 Reviews

Brahms and Beethoven #### Lily Allen ### CU Chamber Orchestra The Junction R E

It was a good decision to programme the sym- intensity in their piano range could better have D I E

phony before the interval in this concert. Not so acknowledged the continuously shifting harmon- N H C

much because Brahms’ Third Symphony closes ic tensions (with less loose bowing near the fin- S E

in a mood of tranquil recollection (leading neatly gerboard perhaps). One concedes that there are D U A

into the quiet chatter of interval drinks), but unusually frequent indications of leggiero, sotto L because the performance of Beethoven’s Violin and mezza voce in the score, though none of C Concerto really came off as the more integrated these is synonymous with reticence, even if one ensemble-piece, and resoundingly closed the suspects that in the event such reservations were evening. more induced by conductor than performer. Conductor Nicholas Daniel’s handling of the With reduced wind forces for the Beethoven, Brahms with chamber forces (the violins each the balance and unity of the orchestra was great- eight-strong) was certainly expressive, though ly increased. There was sensitivity from all this too often simply equated with expansive- departments, thoughtful variation of motifs ness. What might be called a woodwind mentali- according to context (not least the repeated five- ty was the dominating influence of the first three note head-motif), and, as ever, beautiful wood- movements: melodies were more self-contained wind phrasing (as with the ravishing lift at the events, and contributions from the flues and ends of their upward runs). Priya Mitchell, the reeds tended most to apostrophize. (Daniel is bet- professional soloist, so well served, was complete- ter known as an international oboist.) In fact, ly compelling. Her specialities are the thrilling Brahms has already built in metrical elongation suspense of her quiet passages, and her poetic to the score (compound duple to triple, six in a feel for ambiguity within Beethoven’s seemingly bar divided into three then two), and his notated circuitous sequential, scale and arpeggio figura- changes of tempo are always qualified by poco tions. Coordination was excellent throughout, (little), lest the effect becomes too disorienting. and Daniel’s light touch here encouraged a lithe Rubato is to be encouraged, but the thefts must interplay between host and guest. As such, the never become criminal, however beautiful their capacity audience left harbouring few of their individual executions. own reservations as to the ability of the orches- The loss of forward direction was most appar- tra to meet the challenges of the rest of this duly ent in the Andante (certainly not a “slow” move- ambitious season’s programme. ment, as it felt), unmitigated by an occasionally dynamically-bland string section. A greater James Drinkwater I have a soft spot for Lily Allen. my little brother, on hearing Whatever you think about her “Smile” played for the ten mil- music, the girl knows how to lionth time that day on the piss people off. Carl “thinks he’s radio, remarked that Lily Allen W god” Barat, Bob “sanctimonious sounded a bit like “a female twat,” Geldof, or “overrated” Mike Skinner.” He was only Madonna – you name them, half right, but given he’s only BOB DYLAN TRIBUTE SHOW she’s probably slagged them off. young I’ll forgive him. Her ROLLING THUNDER REVISITED TOUR FROM THE USA So I wasn’t being overly hopeful lyrics do aim at Streets style in expecting some witty, or at “social realism” and the honesty FEATURING ORIGINAL BOB DYLAN BAND MEMBERS least bitchy stage banter during of nasty songs about an ex’s her Halloween set. Sadly, the penis size (“I’m gonna tell them h

live at The Junction t closest she got to mean was that you’re rubbish in bed i Sunday 5th November telling a group of uber-keen now…and that you’re small in w fans to “shut up” when they the game”) have ensured her . A g wouldn’t stop asking for “Alfie”. summertime success. & n At one point the stage banter But as this set shows, it does u Q was reduced to “this song isn’t get wearying quite rapidly, u a really relevant because it’s especially given that a “mouthy T

r about Friday yeah, and today’s s o r

f Tuesday.” So much for an acid

e A mouthy tongue. » k n

u Still the wicked witch of London girl’s n .

o London didn’t totally disap- u c

r emotional

. point – the set was energetic, e y ably supported by a large (also r t problems will only i o dressed up) band and she sang s f

r surprisingly well despite hav- go so far a a

c ing a bad throat. “Knock Em’ v i . Out” was a particular highlight, London girl’s emotional prob- n w

o despite the embarrassing “this lems” will only go so far. She r

w is for the ladies” introduction. It has none of the musical inven- t

k flagged a bit towards the end, tiveness that made the Streets w th l there being only so many songs so arresting, nor is she as o

The 30 Anniversary Tour of Bob Dylan’s 1976 Rolling Thunder o f Revue is coming to The Junction for one night! Featuring: t about being broken up with unpredictable or rousing live. It then getting revenge that one was entertaining, and the n m o

o can take. Her cover of, bizarrely, strangely composed crowd (a r SCARLET RIVERA t

f “Everybody’s Changing” and a mixture of sixteen year old girls e strangely sweet rendition of and couples in their mid-thir- y G ROB STONER a “Naïve” successfully shook it up ties) seemed to love it. Sadly s a bit, while the her encore, my soft spot didn’t stretch that d » “Alfie,” showed her at her best: far. Alright, then. WINSTON WATSTON n i e irreverent, bouncing around the L n stage, and, for this one song, Sarah Pope i

HIGHWAY 61 REVISITED e l far, far better than on record. k

th i sunday 5 november / doors 7pm / £12 (£10 adv) n One day during the summer, O The Junction on Clifton Road in Cambridge Box Office 01223 511511 highway61revisited.com M varsity.co.uk/arts | 03.11.06 27

In The Blood #### ADC

Surprisingly, there is no overt anti-racist of her hands captures perfectly the desire role in Hester, moving from attentive, but whelm the stage with noise when charac- message in Susan Lori-Parks’ play, for physical excitement lurking beneath fatigued mother at the start, to a woman ters are trying to speak, especially in the though it soon becomes obvious why it her prissy exterior, whilst the outburst falling apart before her children’s eyes. opening, but this aside the production is a has been chosen to head CUSU’s Anti- when describing her threesome is explo- The volta in her character at the very end triumph of intelligent characterization Racism Week. The primal similarities sively real. Charlie Arrowsmith plays the is startling and Anyimadu should be and moving acting. Lori-Parks once between us all, regardless of race, religion reluctant do-gooder Doctor with measure, praised for her powerful, evocative per- remarked that she “writes like jazz” and or class, pound furiously beneath the sur- but it is Kamal Hussain who makes the formance. In the final scene she gives her- in this production you can hear, even feel, face of the script; Lucy Beynon’s produc- most impact on the stage, bounding about self entirely to the character, her crazed the deep notes of the double bass resonat- tion exploits this so affectingly that you like an aroused puppy as the former love eyes illuminated under the spotlight and ing throughout. are unlikely to leave the ADC unmoved. interest, Chilli, and emoting tremendous her throated primal screams staying with An overview of the plot cannot convey pathos as Jabber, the slow, but favoured me long after the performance. Sarah Wilkinson what this play is really about, as it child. Adjoa Anyimadu has a demanding The cast needs to be careful not to over- sounds like a hackneyed framework on R E

which to hang such an innovative piece of D I E

theatre. A deeply impoverished black N H C

woman, Hester, is struggling to raise her S E

five bastard children in an area where D U A

desperation for money means that any- L thing goes. Lesbian sex, threesomes, C blowjobs on demand, all play a part in Hester’s life and this production luxuri- ates in the fusion of homo and hetero- eroticism, verging at all times on a heated Bacchic orgy. Sensuous, provocative move- ments frame the stage from the start, with girls scantly clad gyrating on scaf- folding, whilst drums throb and swell to percussive climaxes before sighing into the background. More impressively, the production conveys this poignant mes- sage: that these sexual acts are paradoxi- cally both Hester’s saving grace and her downfall, her only way to acquire money and the reason why she has none. In such a vulnerable position it seems inevitable that she will be taken advantage of, yet we are still shocked to find that everyone, including those in charge of her welfare, has a story of her exploitation to tell. Shamini Bundell, as the repressed, white, middle-class Welfare Lady, tells her story with careful timing and detailed characterization. The constant wringing

Ys ##### How To Get Everything... # Online Joanna Newsom The Ordinary Boys » Read Laura Folk singer me fascinated for all its seven- The Ordinary scene on Friends where Ross “plays” Joanna teen minutes. Like most of Boys have long keyboard to a bemused Central Perk. Seymour’s Newsom’s Newsom’s songs, it has dazzling since ceased to be “Commercial Breakdown”, for exam- voice often poetry (“life is thundering bliss- anything more ple, is billed as an “instrumental” but review of startles ful towards death, in a stam- than a vehicle for actually just sounds like the band are Chekhov’s first-time pede of his fumbling green gen- frontman in the middle of a SuperMario game. listeners. It tleness”) and ends in a duet Preston’s own One of the few tracks free from this harrowing has a caterwauling, ethereal with a male voice, throbbing peculiar brand of self-parody. It form of aural violation is ballad “I quality that is often likened to notes and a triumphant comes as little surprise, therefore, Luv U”, but there’s not even any master- a child’s. In her debut album, momentum that almost seems that this record is achingly bad. For respite here: if the title alone makes piece, Uncle The Milk-Eyed Mender, this to turn pirouettes. “Emily” is a start, it doesn’t matter how many you shudder, the song itself will have was accompanied predominant- similarly agile, and the tracks times he mentions the minimum you sticking pins in your eyes. The Vanya, at ly by harp; her songs had an hang together like a narrative, wage: given that Preston is about as record does have one saving grace in the Corpus air of simplicity amidst their as if each song is a new page in working class as a double-bill of Lady Sovereign collaboration lyrical playfulness. an illustrated fairytale. Location, Location, Location, his “Nine2five”, a song which is sort of Playroom Ys is a bigger kind of beast, This album is extraordinary, efforts to capture the everyday grind enjoyably awful – a bit like the incorporating orchestral intoxicating in its complexity of “the masses” are always going to Conservative Party Conference, or arrangements: strings, wind and ambition, full of tender- fall somewhat flat. Yet by far the Malaga. Yet that isn’t enough to and brass swell alongside the ness, exultation and longing. main problem is that the only thing change the fact that in a few hun- harp. Newsom’s voice is throati- Newsom’s strangeness may distinguishing most of these songs dred years time this is the sort of er, and, despite occasional alienate some, but I have rarely from one another is a series of thing that will be held up by our unnerving squeaks, softer. felt so completely rewarded in attempts at sonic experimentation descendants as a manifestation of the There are just five tracks, all the act of listening. which appear to be entirely reliant on bankruptcy of 21st century Western lengthy, all richly inventive. one dodgy Casio. The resulting effect culture. The longest, “Only Skin”, held Becky Varley-Winter is thus oddly reminiscent of that Liz Bradshaw 28 varsity.co.uk/listings | 03.11.06 Listings FILM THEATRE MUSIC EXHIBITIONS GOING OUT K

E Federico Fellini’s 8 1/2 Arab Strap Visit Palestine: a documen- Arts Picturehouse The Junction 2 (The Shed) tary by Katie Barlow E Thu 9 Oct, 17.00 Sat 4 Nov, 19.00, £10 Fri 3 Nov, Chetwynd Room, Fellini’s semi-autobiographical tale Flagged before, but Cambridge’s King’s College, 20.00, free

W about a troubled but worshipped music scene is as desolate as This is Cambridge University director, Guido (Marcello Mas- Greer’s sex life, and Arab Strap Palestine Society’s new weekly

E troianni) incorporates elements of are brilliant. This is also their film slot. Visit Palestine, with a his entire oeuvre - 8 1/2 films. And farewell tour, which means it’s refreshing lack of dogma,

H it makes for an incredible specta- your last chance to see the follows an Irish peace activist

T cle, full of psychedelic imagery and grumpy bastards peddle their working in a Jenin refugee art and all that stuff you guys love. idiosyncratic blend of sex, pubs camp - and more importantly, LOCK IN at the Kambar Mon Nov 6, Kambar, 21.30 - F Despite playing out like an ex- and rainy Sunday post-rock. And looks at the life of its tended ketamine dream, Fellini’s if the thought of Moffat mum- inhabitants from the 02.30, £4.

O touching sensitivity to Guido’s bling melancholically over Mid- perspective of a constantly self- Apologies for getting the date freefall will make you feel better dleton’s beautiful arrangements critical observer. It’s also free wrong. In any case, this will be about dropping his name into con- Frozen Fitzpatrick Hall, isn’t enough to drag you away and followed by an open better than queuing for 3 hours K versations to impress your godaw- Queen’s College, Tue 7 Nov - from cheese and WKDs, then it’s discussion, so if you’re an to wade through an MC Ham- mer fan’s sweat in the Fez. Also,

C ful friends. Sat 11 Nov, 19.30 already over for you. Go home, unreconstructed CUCA scrote I The BATS Freshers play: a dark crack open a beer, and look at a or an apolitical floatie you can it’s an Amnesty fundraiser, so All films showing at Arts Picturehouse you can look smug even while unless stated otherwise wall. P but uplifting drama. turn up and scowl/look vacant. you vom. Kiss Me Deadly 22.50 Uncle Vanya Corpus Flipron+Thomas Truax Anniversary Lecture on Kings are Queens, King’s, The History Boys 20.40 Playroom, 19.00 The Loft, 20.00, £6 the 1956 Hungarian Revo- 21.00-12.45, £2 Red Road 22.50 In the Blood ADC, 19.45 Blackbud lution. Keynes Hall, King’s Col- Gender-blending and hip-hop. FRI The Queen 18.30 Clare Cellars, 21.00, £4 lege, 17.00 Shut up and Dance, Union, Taxi Driver 23.00 Jazz at Johns Go socialism! Go heroic feats of a 21.00-01.00, £3 The Page Turner 21.00 John’s, 21.00, £4 now-dead left! Depressed. Indie/electro. And sloanes.

Kiss Me Deadly 22.50 Uncle Vanya Corpus Arab Strap Grand Arcade Fireworks Toxic at Queens 3 Playroom, 19.00 The Junction Shed, 19.00 Midsummer Common, 19.30 The History Boys 20.40 Queen’s, 21.00-00.45, £4 Red Road 22.50 In the Blood ADC, 19.45 Jools Holland Don’t bring fireworks, they Dance, chart & cheese, themed SAT Taxi Driver 23.00 Liberdad! (Freedom) ADC, Corn Exchange, 19.30, £28 slaughter kids. If you get after a nuclear holocaust. The Queen 18.30 22.30 Spy 51 + Plastik really pissed it might look like Boomslang The Page Turner 21.00 The Loft, 20.00, £4 the end of the world. The Junction, 22.00, £11

The History Boys 20.40 Highway 61 Revisited (Bob Figures on Fabric Sunday Service 4 Red Road 16.50 Dylan tribute act) Fitzwilliam Museum Club 22, 22.00-01.00, £3 Rebel Without A Cause The Junction, 19.00, £12 An exhibition of beautifully Heaven & Hell Theme. SUN (John ‘s) 19.00, 22.00 Raises some difficult done English 17th Century But mainly hell. Thank You For Smoking questions. Many of the needlework. Bam-boo-tv (Christ’s) 20.00, 22.30 answers will be “no”. Take that real world. Fez, 21.30, £4, Orientalise. 5 The History Boys 21.15 DDS Annual Cabaret The Feeling Sleepfaring Department of Fat Poppadaddys Red Road 16.50 Downing Hall, 21.00, £6 Corn Exchange, 19.30, SOLD Pharmacology,Tennis Court Rd, Fez, 21.00 - 02.00, £4 The Page Turner 21.00 One of Downing Dramatic OUT 20.00-21.30. Lecture on the Sci- Pleasingly generic. Like sweaty ON The Queen 14.10 Society’s biggest events. Music, The Convergence Quartet ence of Sleep. If you fell asleep tofu. M The Prestige 18.30 dancing, comedy, shagging Caius, 20.00 in here it’d be well funny. But LOCK IN at the Kambar (maybe). also: rude. Kambar, 22.00 - 02.30, £4 dnb, dubstep and dance. The Flower of My Secret Stoppard Shorts Corpus Playroom, 19.00 Scott Matthews + Emmy Stella Dina’s Compendio: A Precious* LBGT Night 6 The Crucible The Round Church, 19.00 a 13:30 daring new productin not to be missed the Great tribute to Federico Garcia Club 22, 22.00-02.00, £3 Red Road 16.50 Frozen Queen’s College, 19.30 The Junction, 19.00, £8.50 Lorca Pigeon-hole your sexuality. TUE The History Boys 21.00 See What I Wanna See ADC, 19.45 Folk rock, the blues, and the Free, 4 Nov - 3 Dec. Solo exhibi- The Queen 15.40 The Hotel in Amsterdam Queen’s College, excellent Emmy - check her tion at New Hall. Politics The Page Turner 19.00 23.00 1,2,3,4,(5)ADC, 23.00 Myspace (yeah, I know). punches art. Recommended.

The History Boys 20.40 Stoppard Shorts Corpus Playroom, 19.00 Ron Sexsmith Eve in Christian Art Melamondo 7 The Crucible The Round Church, 19.00 Kettle’s Yard, 18.30, Red Road 16.50 Frozen Queen’s College, 19.30 The Junction, 19.00, £16 Fez, 21.00-02.00, £4 The Queen 18.30 See What I Wanna See ADC, 19.45 The Blood Arm Talk by Eamon Duffy exploring International Night. Louvre! WED Romanzo Criminale 20.00 The Hotel in Amsterdam Queen’s College, The Loft, 20.00, £7 the representation of women in Rumboogie 23.00 The Rumble Strips fall and redemption. Remember Ballare, 21.00-02.00, £3 1,2,3,4,(5)ADC, 23.00 The Soul Tree, 20.00, £6 the Bible? Just like that mate. Pretty much indefensible.

Fellini’s 8 1/2 17.00 Stoppard Shorts Corpus Playroom, 19.00 Yo La Tengo Rodin: All About Eve Short Circuit II 8 The Crucible The Round Church, 19.00 La Haine (Christ’s) 22.00 Frozen Queen’s College, 19.30 The Junction, 19.00, £15 Kettle’s Yard. Read about the Kambar, 22.00-02.30, £3 Red Road 16.50 See What I Wanna See ADC, 19.45 Emma York & Galactica + pieces on display, wax lyrical 80’s night THU Dog Day Afternoon The Hotel in Amsterdam Queen’s College, Tim Arnold about the beauty and psycholog- Zane Lowe (John’s) 21.00 23.00 CB2, 20.00, £4 ical intensity of Auguste Rodin’s Fez, 21.00-02.30, £6 1,2,3,4,(5)ADC, 23.00 sculptures. Get laid. Reeking trip-hop! Bilge.

9 See What I Wanna See BOOK NOW Tue 7 Nov - Sat 11 Nov York to massive acclaim and The Futureheads £6 sell out houses, it features a The Junction ADC pulsing score that merges Mon 4 December The Cambridge University with three interwoven stories 19.00, £9

W Musical Theatre Society ranging from feudal Japan to (CUMTS) are staging the modern New York City, so it Buttock-clenchingly tight

O European Premiere of this won’t be a bunch of thesps call-and-response indie stunning musical, approved pretending to be decadent by from Sunderland perfectly N and supported by its wearing suspenders. “See timed for the end of term. composer, Michael John What I Wanna See” promises Though you might die on

K LaChiusa. It promises to to be an innovative, uplifting the way to the Junction... attract people who love and thought-provoking

O musicals, as well as musical ultimately concerned “normals” who think they with matters of faith and O don’t, but actually will. truth in a demystified world Because everyone can learn full of annoying rationalists. B to be fun. And because this Like the bastards who smoke will be great. Originally Gauloises round Sidgwick. staged only last year in New You’ll wanna see this! Etc.

varsity.co.uk/discuss | 03.11.06 29

Corrections and Cambridge Crisis: answers to your problems clarifications »The ‘real’ of ‘real’ tennis is »“Is putting a padlock around my section of the fridge acceptable?” derived not from ‘Royal’ but was used to differentiate the game from lawn tennis. Rob Fahey, though he Dear Varsity, simply rolled her eyes and walked And is putting a padlock around plays tennis for Cambridge But lately it seems like what, in away. my section of the fridge an accept- University Club is, in fact not I am encountering some difficul- my mind, was a perfectly careful able solution? English but from Tasmania. ties keeping hold of my posses- and practicable precaution to pre- The next day I found one of my sions. I had thought at the begin- vent my floormates from helping mugs upside down on the draining Yours distressed, »Varsity’s investigation into home- ning of term that it would be themselves to my stuff, has had board. What next, I ask? Is my Felicity. lessness last week reported that in enough of a deterrent to paint my the opposite effect; I caught my heat-resistant utility whisk to be June of last year 153 people declared initials on all my utensils and cut- next door neighbour the other day lost before I even had the chance themselves homeless. This in fact lery in nail varnish, and to label using my milk for her tea. When I to break it in? What of my curved should have specified that in “the all my food, with both my name politely brought her attention to slotted spatula and my high-car- three months leading to June of last and the kind of food it was. the name label on the front, she bon stainless steel can opener? year 153 people sought help from Cambridge services for the home- less”. Dear Felicity, Dear Felicity, Porter find yourself with the odd repercus- Sidney Sussex College sion. »Last week’s review of Melanie You have encountered a problem In answer to your predicament, I can Phllips’ book Londonstan was writ- that, I’m afraid, is not going to disap- only recommend that you will Dear Felicity, If none of this works for you I sug- ten by Andrew Souter. pear any time soon. Learning to live research your friends’ tastes in food gest you just join in with the general with other people is something that and buy anthing they do not like! Unfortunately you are not alone in flow of things and borrow everybody It is Varsity’s policy to amend all every body has to face at some point your distress: every year hundreds of else’s stuff. significant errors as soon as possible in their lives and it requires some Likewise, you could try to then use students are faced with the same in the digital edition on varsity.co.uk measure of ‘give’ as well as ‘take’. all of the same things your friends’ problem. Using your teaspoon to stir Kara Sheehan and in the archives. Please email any What you have to ask yourself is not own, and beat them that way, or try their coffee or “borrowing” one of Robinson College errors to [email protected] the inevitable question of ‘how bad to limit your restocking of your your Rich Tea biscuits to dunk in it. Accommodation Office noting the issue and page number(s). can this get?’ (although I must admit fridge, and cupboards on an ‘as and The Varsity mail bag Or telephone the business manager that I do fear for your Teflon non- when’ basis, buying as you need it, must be full of reports on 01223 337575 between 9:30am and stick frying pan…), but ‘why do I and washing up with their Fairy of such blatant crimi- 5pm Monday to Friday. care so much?’ Who actually is Liquid! Have you tried wearing their nality. It seems that harmed in the making of the tea with clothing, would they like it then? respect for other peo- your milk? Is it really so bad when Next time you have some ketchup, or ple’s property has fall- On varsity.co.uk someone drinks coffee out of your marmalade that belongs to you, try en the way of the mug? Of course not. Perhaps what putting curry powder, or pepper in to Dinosaurs. this week you need to do is calm down and look what is left of the jar, or bottle, and at things objectively. see instant results! You could keep some of your more precious » Joanne Harris Of course, when you introduce the Perhaps they then will not be so items in your room, author of Chocolat concept of ‘sharing’ into your floor- eager in the future to try your food- therefore ensuring mates’ mentality, you must let them stuff! Laxatives in the instant coffee? their safety from the meets Ali Pearce know that this works both ways. If On the other hand, if you are of a sticky fingers of your it’s acceptable for them to use your large figure perhaps, and need to lose floormates. This may milk in their tea, then it’s acceptable weight, then this is not be totally practical » Road to for you to use their butter spread on the perfect time...stop buying food, for some of your more your toast, or drink their orange and be slim in no time! perishable fridge items recovery: Rachel juice in the morning. Maybe this will though. Threatening change their attitude, maybe you’ll Perhaps the answer is also not to signs may deter some Cooper talks to all end up going hungry, but maybe have so many designer of the more feint Grace Bowman you’ll all become better friends – and items of this sort, i.e., high carbon hearted, but I am T N better floormates – because of this slotted spoons, or a heat resistant afraid this will not U H about her struggle increased sense of shared responsi- utility whisk. Just a bog-standard work on some of the S E L bility. spoon would do, then the Magpies on more persistent U with anorexia J

your floor would not have anything offenders. I do not : N O James Baggaley to hone in to. Try it! recommend lacing I T

A » Enter the great Technician at the ADC Theatre anything with poison, R T

Yours sympathetically as although this may S U

L Borat giveaway L

C.R. Maxted be effective, you may I Varsity.co.uk: Games 27. Fan heard “Mr. Bilk not heavy”, per- Varsity crossword no. 456 haps (7) Poll Results 28. What’s drawn from peptidic ulcer 12345678 and inverted is clear (5) 29. Artist’s dream state to mark time (9) We asked: So how much of an Concise essay-blagger are you any- Down 9 10 way? Crossword 1. Woke up with energy to snub journal- a) My account with Oxbridge ist and broadcaster (4,5) Essays is -£30k Across 2. Gain within current content (5) b) I sometimes add a few lines 1. Thief paid somehow for little spar- 3. German secretly makes famous 11 12 to a Sparknotes printout row? (5,4) manoeuvre (8) c) It's not plagiarising if you 6. Playing cards up whose beanstalk? (5) 4. New affiliate in IRS conspirators (8) 10 memorize it 9. Identities abbreviated after abbrevi- 5. Forage first! French gold is in French d) I wouldn't dare blag an ated ensemble flowers (7) wood (6) 13 14 15 15 essay 10. Oliver set about equation, started 6+21. Excited cop reads John Polish- again (7) born novelist (6,6) 13 16 17 11+25. Dame Vera follows Harris, after 7. Abstracts communication openings to hesitating for swashbuckling actor (5,5) write to reverse aid (9) 19 19 20 6% 12. Insult a lord, perhaps, and vanish? 8. Therefore, stick up for Rev. Awdry’s (a) 10% (9) isle (5) 22 21 (b) 13. Intense, difficult infrastructure (8) 14. Wayward, wayward chair getting 15. Some had amnestied his apples? (4) around afterthought with overdose (9) 23 24 53% 19. In one appropriate tide (4) 16. New England state air conditioning (d) 20. Director who animates mere saki, is top of the bill (4,5) 19 29% apparently (8) 17. Deny CD by mail tampering (8) (c) 23. Rickety start following one who only 18. Baron’s tenant goes in France twice 26 27 goes diagonally for his post? (9) — very original (8) 24. Caine’s famous role — that is, after 22. Crow heard to gnaw apparently 22 Garnett (5) Swedish coins (6) 26. Hard work in some bone makes 21. See 6. 28 29 Go to varsity.co.uk for games Celtic folk instrument (7) 23. Babble weirdly in this tower? (5) solution and to vote in our poll 30 varsity.co.uk/lifestyle | 03.11.06

Lifestyle editors: Saskia Payne and Carol Peacock Lifestyle Email: [email protected] Paris Syndrome » Izzy De Rosario explains how, for some tourists, shopping can lead to psychosis I have yet to meet a single person France, the majority living in Paris, dromes appears to be recognising who doesn’t raise their eyebrows in so the twenty or so cases annually of one’s own expectations. According to surprise when I say that on a recent Paris Syndrome are apparently giv- Dr Moshe Kalian, a district psychia- T visit to Paris, the Parisians were ing the French tourist board little N trist in Jerusalem, victims of U almost affable. Even the shop assis- cause for concern. Nevertheless, H Jerusalem Syndrome seek out a sense S E tants. Even if you spent the summer depression catalysed by gallic disdain L of the city’s spirituality and manage to U earning a pittance in Dorothy now has its own label. According to J meet their own heightened expecta- Y Perkins, you must recognise that gen- Yousef Mahmoudia, a psychologist at B tions. However, victims of Paris N O erally shop assistants make shopping the Hotel-Dieu hospital, “A third of I Syndrome expect to encounter (for T A harder than it needs to be. Not so in patients get better immediately, a R example) helpful shop assistants and T S

Paris. In comparison to the perverse- third suffer relapses and the rest have U are barely acknowledged. Their L L ly unhelpful kind that seems only to psychoses”. One victim believed that I depression is for the most part exist in and around the M25, Parisian she was being attacked by brought about by the overwhelming shop assistants don’t pay much atten- microwaves. sense of feeling let down. tion to the customer. In England To some extent “Paris Syndrome” One psychologist told Le Journal there is a tendency to either watch is caused by the sense of alienation du Dimanche that for these sufferers, the customer like they are a shoplifter that is experienced when you do not “When the idea they have of the coun- or to tell the customer that whatever understand the culture and way of try meets the reality of what they dis- they try on suits them. Comparatively, life, but this is something that most of cover it can provoke a crisis”. bonjour and au revoir is more than us experience at one time or another Essentially this sense is another form enough customer service. without it driving us to believe that of alienation – of feeling that reality Yet the stereotype of the French, we are Louis XIV. Furthermore, in does not meet your expectations and particularly in their behaviour all fairness, Paris is not the only city that you are thus alienated from the towards foreigners, has been rein- to induce psychoses in those suscepti- external world. On a day-to-day basis, forced to some extent in the past ble to mental disorder. Jerusalem the only real solution is to remember week, with the papers carrying the Syndrome is caused when visitors are that there will inevitably be a differ- story on Paris Syndrome. This is a overwhelmed by their perception of ence between how life is and how you form of depression that is triggered the spirituality of the city, to the expect life to be. And also, to remem- by the frosty demeanour of the extent that in the most severe cases, ber that life is sometimes going to be Parisians towards visitors to their fair sufferers have become convinced that better than you imagined. Like when capital, and it predominantly affects they are figures from the Bible and I went to Paris and even liked the female Japanese tourists. Now, there Jewish Scripture. shop assistants. are some 28,000 Japanese residents in The definitive aspect of both syn-

*RRJOH LV ORRNLQJ IRU VWXGHQWV ZLWK JUHDW DVSLUDWLRQV

,I \RXłYH HYHU LPDJLQHG EHLQJ DEOH WR XVH \RXU WDOHQW HGXFDWLRQ DQG VNLOOV WR EHQHğW PLOOLRQV RI SHRSOH DURXQG WKH ZRUOG *RRJOH PLJKW EH WKH SODFH IRU \RX :KHWKHU \RX UH VHDUFKLQJ IRU D IXOOWLPH MRE RU DQ LQWHUQVKLS ZH KDYH RSSRUWXQLWLHV IRU WKH EULJKWHVW PLQGV LQ DOO DUHDV RI RXU EXVLQHVV LQFOXGLQJ 3URGXFW 0DUNHWLQJ 3URGXFW 0DQDJHPHQW DQG $GYHUWLVLQJ 6DOHV

2QH RI RXU JRDOV LV WR FUHDWH WKH PRVW LQVSLULQJ ZRUN HQYLURQPHQW RQ WKH SODQHW ŋ D SODFH ZKHUH \RX FDQ GUHDP ELJ DQG PDNH WKLQJV KDSSHQ ,I \RXłG OLNH WR EH D SDUW RI WKDW WKHQ RXU RQFDPSXV SUHVHQWDWLRQ LV D IDQWDVWLF RSSRUWXQLW\ IRU \RX WR JDLQ DQ LQVLJKW LQWR RXU FRPSDQ\ WR PHHW ZLWK HPSOR\HHV DQG WR DVN DQ\ TXHVWLRQV WKDW \RX ZRXOG OLNH DQVZHUHG

2QFDPSXV SUHVHQWDWLRQ 7KH 'HEDWLQJ &KDPEHU &DPEULGJH 8QLRQ %XLOGLQJ 7XHVGD\ WK 1RYHPEHU  DW SP

ŕ &RS\ULJKW  $OO ULJKWV UHVHUYHG *RRJOH DQG WKH *RRJOH ORJR DUH UHJLVWHUHG WUDGHPDUNV RI *RRJOH ,QF

varsity.co.uk/lifestyle | 03.11.06 31

Food and Drink editor: Katie Craig Food and Drink Email: [email protected]

THE RESTAURANT Local Produce COLUMN » Benjamin Barford-Marks boycotts the supermarkets and goes local for a week. He even tries to milk the King’s College cows Martha and Mathilda The Green Man Having been living in Cambridge for Cambridgeshire, let alone the rest of one normal drinks sheep’s milk. It is assorted vegetables, all doused in several weeks now, I have been ques- England, however I was assured of rancid. However, I used it for the local ketchup. ##### tioning whether college hall really is its localness, and promptly bought it, raspberry pancakes, which turned After a week of local goodness, I the only way to eat. So I decided to along with three types of local bread out well, but it most definitely soured believe that there is much to be said Grantchester is a very lovely place experiment; I would live for a week on which to eat it. In terms of drink, the pumpkin soup that I made, which for local food (especially the market to go. Rolling fields, an escape from on local food – produce grown or apple juice was essentially all there tasted mainly of parsnips anyway. apples), however, moderation is prob- the city, those sumptuous cream reared in Cambridgeshire. With the was. Boring? Oh no, there were at The rest of what I ate consisted ably wise, since what cannot be found teas at The Orchard. Not so at exception of one King’s formal hall, least eight different types of this mainly of various fried combinations in the market is expensive, and I night. It’s hard to find the way in beer and seasonings, everything I ate splendid drink, of which I bought of egg, bacon (from the market on would not wish sheep’s milk on any- the dark and Mathilda fell in and for the next week would be local. some of the mighty braeburn, a little Wednesdays and Saturdays), and one. out of the river all the way there. Contrary to popular Cambridge of “Howgate Wonder”, and some But at last we made it to the eigh- tradition, Monday was the first day of Worcester. Delicious. By this point I teenth century Green Man pub, (on my week. I left my room, not having had banished my hunger with a free the right of the path - in daylight made plans for breakfast. Heading for local sandwich (yes free), some apples you can’t miss it), and snuggled into the market, empty stomached, and and a pear from the shop, and my the cosy, beamed interior. The seeing only lush exotic fare, my modest food budget had long been atmosphere in this pub is inviting; it hunger grew by the minute. As I forgotten in the rush to buy things feels a world away from Cambridge walked among the stalls, I felt rather like “taste of history – local pear (and in the dark, it is), and the gas- religious as I eyed up the mountains sauce”. On the way home, I found a tro-style has not compromised its of luscious produce that was literally local cheese shop near Trinity, where cosy, traditional feel. For sunnier, forbidden fruit. I asked around, and I was sold two types of local cheese; long gone summer days, there’s found that the local produce consisted “baa”, and “bleat”. even a beer garden. mainly of apples and root vegetables. That evening, I was determined to We began with a much needed bot- The chances of a good breakfast were transform my motley ingredients into tle of red Claudeval (£9) which had not good, but just as I resigned food. I made a parsnip, tomato, and a warm, rich body and spicy nose myself to an early lunch of parsnips cheese omelette – It was a feast of that was lovely with our food. The and celery, I learned of a shop where local proportions; having delicious food menu here is extensive, offer- the local produce consisted of more implications for my culinary guinea than rabbit food. Having bought a pigs. I followed this the next day with cheap collection of parsnips, carrots, a dinner of sausages, broccoli and » The eggs, broccoli, tomatoes, apples, rasp- eggs, and some real tomato ketchup berries and a pumpkin, I left the mar- from the urban farm store. Since I atmosphere in ket. had flour, raspberries and eggs, I The Urban Farm Shop is about five decided to make pancakes, but I had this pub is inviting; minutes walk past the Grafton centre, no local milk. Since the store was a it feels a world on a residential street full of local good 20 minutes away, I decided to people who presumably would need make use of resources closer to home. away from good local fare to sustain themselves The animals in King’s field, that – I was encouraged. The shop mainly everyone refers to as cows seemed Cambridge consists of small quantities of over- like a good local option, so I went to priced preserves and small fish. porter’s lodge to find out about their However, after explaining my posi- milk. I left with a feeling of mild dis- ing hearty classics like cottage pie tion to the owner, I was treated to a appointment and acute embarrass- as well as more delicate salads and tour of the shop, whereupon I discov- ment, having learned that they were quiches. There are a host of specials ered several surprising things. I man- in fact bulls. It must have been the too, including a Thai spicy chicken aged to obtain some local flour, local fact that they all have feminine burger and a marlin steak with sausages, and local blueberry jam, French names like Cecile that led me pesto mash and asparagus (ranging which I thought a little suspect, con- astray. So I had to make do with from £8 to £15). To start, we tucked sidering the notable absence of blue- frozen sheep’s milk from the Urban into a platter of warm fresh bread, berries from the flora of Farm Store. There is a reason that no Fresh produce in Market Square AMICA DALL accompanied by a bowl of marinat- ed olives. For the generously por- tioned mains, Mathilda plumped for the bangers and mash (£8.95) which were a treat; thick and juicy MODERN MANNERS MAKETH THE MAN sausages bursting with fresh herbs, and a creamy mash (mostly eaten by Martha) offset by succulent Going Out mannered lady or gentleman really • To be friends with everyone is to your relationship is one to be doubt- squash cubes, all drenched in a should make sure that they have be incredibly limited socially. Just ed and that would make them feel thick, tasty gravy. Martha sampled • Bouncers, like pets, just need to familiarised themselves with at least think of all the other relationship uncomfortable. the venison burger special (£8.95), know who is in control. Speak to the basic steps of the main dances. options you’re ignoring. Here are a accompanied by good-quality ched- them with a stern voice, stating These are, of course, the waltz, the few to get you going: mortal ene- • The number of kisses at the end of dar, a nicely dressed salad and a exactly what you want them to do. tango (Argentine), the Saturday mies, stalkers, acolytes, unrequited a text message is an exact scientific mountain of yummy skinny fries. If they disobey you, ignore them, but Night Fever arm points, Michael loves, adopted siblings, staff. The indication of how your relationship is This too was delectable; the meat if they follow your command, reward Jackson’s moonwalk and that booty list is endless. going. Follow these guidelines to full of flavour and perfectly cooked. them with a small treat. shakin’ thing that Beyoncé and Sean the letter (literally). Amongst such tempting sweet- Paul were doing back in 2003. Relationships No Kisses: Relationship terminated meats as chocolate fondant with • Drink buying is an enormously “x”: Will break up with you on fresh fruits of the forest, and apple complicated business, which can be The Social Ladder • If you are in a relationship, Tuesday. and rhubarb crumble with custard expensive if done incorrectly. In it is extremely important “xx”: Friendship not love. Sorry. (all desserts are £4.95), we decided order to pace yourselves, suggest • Maintaining friendships with that every passing person “xxx”: Standard amount of on Crème Brulee for pudding. This that you should drink water between everyone doing your subject at your is made aware of your kisses. You’re dating a dullard. was a fitting (or fattening) end to alcohol rounds. Then make sure that college is arduous, time-consuming connection. At par- “xxxx”: You’re dating a neurotic such a nice meal; the thick, burnt it’s you that buys the round when and impractical. Instead focus on a ties, make sure that freak. Ditch immediately. sugar topcoat was perfectly crackly everyone’s drinking tap water. few key figures in the group. Use you spend at least 95 “x34ddwxxxu5”: Lover sat on and the crème itself was light, Works like a charm and your friends such factors as attractiveness, per cent of your time mobile phone. sweet and speckled with real vanil- will be pleased that you’re trying to wealth and number of friends on in a passionate Frederick Way la. Yum. Needless to say, we made save them from a hangover. Facebook as qualifiers for your selec- embrace. Otherwise, it home, and, despite serious discus- tion. Spend all your time with this the single person sit- Next week: Traditions sions about taxis, found that the • On the dance-floor, dignity, ele- A-group, shunning all others. ting next to you river is not so cold when you’ve a gance and poise are key. The well- might think that belly full of fine wine and good food.

32 varsity.co.uk/fashion | 03.11.06

Fashion editors: Olivia Johnson and Rosanna Falconer Fashion Email: [email protected]

Right: Benj Ohad Lucy Antonia wears Seidler... Minyo... Jacket, £30. Skirt, £120. Confronting the world with determi- Lucy is using the fashion show as an Dress, £40. nation after a life-changing experi- opportunity to take her experience All made to ence. With Nina Simone’s “Suzanne” in costume design one step further. measure as its soundtrack, this is the look of She has been putting together cos- and avail- Benj’s slick, beautiful collection: the tumes for Cambridge theatre pro- able to past still casts its shadow on the ductions since the beginning of her order from “Suzanne” figure as off-kilter zips, first year and has always had a cre- Benj Ohad shapes and patchwork stand out ative, eclectic approach when collat- Seidler, against sleek tailoring. ing them. Her love of clothing bos22 Benj is inspired by the arts and derives from the joy of combining crafts movement, and in giving a elements of contrasting density, human quality to his clothes, favour- opacity and transparency into a ing hand embroidery in an age where beautiful composition. She views machines have come to dominate. But the collection as an excellent way to what really comes across in his collec- explore the ideas and obsessions tion is its wearability. This is not that she has been harbouring for abstract art but rather clothes with a some time, but are not necessarily relaxed fit and easiness about them. suited to the stage. He designs with his friends in mind On November 10th, you will wit- and his working relationship with ness a collection centred around Miriam Foster is therefore key: as sculptural form and material at its stylist for his collection at Cambridge purest. Lucy has chosen a truly Catwalk, she is able to give an outside original pair of styles as its basis: perspective and a woman’s reaction to Regency and dancewear. This con- his clothes. trast may not sound a natural cou- Having interned with Anna Sui, pling but both show the importance Bottega Veneta and Roland Mouret, of proportion and an awareness of as well as being highly commended in the body shape. These elements are the Vogue Talent Contest this year, sorely missing in fashion today, par- Benj has much experience in the fash- ticularly menswear, so expect to see ion industry, reflected in his skilful tai- an innovative collection at loring and variety of looks. Cambridge Catwalk.

Styled by Olivia Johnson and THE SHOW Rosanna Falconer Punk-rocker gigs… Stand-up comedy… to the catwalk alongside ambitious, Examinations… All things you might beautiful newcomers. The show promis- Photographed associate with the Corn Exchange. es to be striking, from Boudoir Femme’s by Debbie However, on November 10th the red dramatic coats to The Tailor’s Cat spec- Scanlan at carpet goes down and the catwalk goes tacular dresses… and you must support Newnham up as Cambridge gears up for its Benj and Lucy’s much anticipated runs, College Fashion Show. as they boldly experiment with struc- ture and tailoring. Modelled by Town and gown come together as fash- Rosanna, ionable local businesses, especially those Proceeds from ticket sales will provide Matt, Georgie, of vintage cool, show off their fabulous seriously ill young people with all those Antonia, Tom, garments. Two of Cambridge home comforts we take for granted. It John and University’s own students will also add promises to be a fantastic evening, and Flora to the glamour by putting their exciting with such a worthy aim, why resist? creations on the catwalk. All the pro- What’s more, with Judi Dench and oth- All clothes by ceeds will be dedicated to the Teenage ers as patrons of the Trust, rumours Benj Ohad- Cancer Trust which is hoping to estab- abound about a celebrity influx… Seidler lish a unit specifically for gravely ill teenagers at Addenbrookes’ Hospital. Olivia Johnson

The event gives us a great chance to wit- Cambridge Catwalk ness the zing of Cambridge’s fashion cre- November 10th at 7.30pm ativity. The atmosphere will be buzzing, The Corn Exchange as glamorous professional models take Box Office 01223 357851

varsity.co.uk/fashion | 03.11.06 33 Cambridge Catwalk » Town and gown come together at the Corn Exchange on November 10th for a fashion show in aid of the Teenage Cancer Trust. Varsity profiles the two Cambridge students participating and showcases their collections CRA International A leading international business consultancy

What we do. We help multinational companies and government organisations make strategic decisions and improve their performance. How we work. We combine industry expertise, rigorous analysis and creativity. Who we are. We are a thousand people worldwide who take pride in our work and foster a friendly and informal environment. We are seeking high calibre graduates for our rapidly expanding London office.

Company presentation Wednesday 8 November, 6.30pm

• Q&A Upper Hall & Henry Cavendish Rooms • Drinks & Food Peterhouse Cambridge CB2 1RD Sign–up email: [email protected]

www.crai.com THE AMERICAS EUROPE AND THE MIDDLE EAST ASIA PACIFIC

Graduate Opportunities From c.£20,000 Near Reading, Berkshire

Assurance Manufacturing Business and Finance Materials Science Chemical Engineering Maths Chemistry Mechanical Engineering Civil Engineering Metallurgy Computer Science Physics Construction Production Engineering Electrical Engineering Safety Radiological Protection Electronic Engineering Structural Engineering Environmental Systems Engineering

The fact that you’ve started reading this says something about the kind of person you are. Where other people say “I see”, you say “show me more”. Your thirst for knowledge takes you to places that other people don’t even know about. And the Atomic Weapons Establishment could be one of them. As the nation’s largest high-tech research, development and production facility, with sole responsibility for maintaining the UK’s nuclear deterrent, AWE is an organisation like no other. There will be an opportunity to meet us in Cambridge for an informal presentation and refreshments on Monday 13th November, 7.00pm in Queens Building, Emmanuel College. Please register your interest by emailing [email protected] www.awe.co.uk

Atomic Weapons Establishment Editor Varsity are looking for a new editor for the Lent term. Could you take control? Info and application forms: [email protected] Deadline: November 8th, 5pm Think you could be part of the Varsity team? Varsity are opening applications for section editors, photographers, production managers and the online team. Email [email protected] for application forms. Smart Innovation...

… requires exceptional people

We support top executives across many different industries, including: „ Automotive, Defence, Engineering & Manufacturing „ Chemicals, Energy & Utilities „ Healthcare, Pharmaceuticals & Biotechnology „ Telecommunications, Information, Media & Electronic

To find out more about our opportunities, join us at our presentation evening. Refreshments will be available.

Evening Presentation open to all Evening Presentation at Chemical Engineering Department, Wednesday 15 November Cambridge University Arrive at 6.00pm for a 6.30pm start (Lecture Theatre, New Museum site, Pembroke Street) The Old Combination Room, Christ’s College, Cambridge Monday 20 November Arrive at 6.00pm for a 6.30pm start

Places are limited! You must book to confirm your place. Please contact Melissa Course at [email protected]

www.adl.com

N 12.10 1 T S GOODYEAR A S D 23.40 *18.30(Not ( Sat/Sun Only)*13.10(NotSun)*15.40 5.30 18.2021.00Fri/SatLate23.30 HE E UP TEP AW III (NFT) Daily13.5016.5020.00 NATURE SCENES OFASEXUAL LITTLE CHILDREN 20.30 21.30Fri/SatLate22.4523.45 1 O ( 18.40 Fri/SatLate23.50 NATION OFKAZAKHSTAN MAKE BENEFITGLORIOUS INGS OFAMERICAFOR BORAT: CULTURAL LEARN- aily 12.40(NotSat/Sun)15.2017.50(Not g 15) (1h45)(NFT)Daily10.00(Sat/Sun 4.00 15.0016.0017.0018.0019.00 o nly) 11.00(Sat/SunOnly)12.0013.00 r a DEVIL b o f o t n ( o o 18) (2h10)(NFT)Daily12.30 ( n k e PG) (2h05)(NFT)Daily*10.40 Tues) *21.10Fri/SatLate W c n (15) (1h55)(NFT)Daily d e EARS PRADA o n o w (12a) (2h20)(NFT)Daily t h dtr OBx69 abr,OX16 6EB Banbury, POBox 699, The Editor, Send sampleswithsynopsisandCVto: Good rewards for therightmaterial. andlivelyStories must beshort withimmediateappeal. mediapublisherseeksauthorsfor teenagefiction. New for teenagers? Can youwrite r e o e s n • 0 c c 8 i a n 7 (15) (2h35) m 1 e b ( 2 PG) (2h10) m r i 2 d a 4 g 0 e l 2 i k 4 0 e [email protected] poetry to: short storiesand open. Sendyour Mays 15arenow Submissions forthe o 1 10.10 12.00 2 THE GRUDGE2 T T BARNYARD Box Office fordetails. t after 7pmunlessaccompaniedbyanadult.*Audiodescrip- ( HOODWINKED C OPEN SEASON T Tuesday 12thNovember*18.30 ( D L M S 1 1 2 r [email protected] sections oftext translating small Top pricespaidfor Fluent Italian? ion isavailableontheseperformances–pleaseaskatthe NFT) =nofreetickets.Childrenunder12arenotpermitted 2h05) Sunday10thNovember*13.10 1.30(Sat Only)14.1016.30 2.50 ate 23.00 0.30 2.40 2.30 HE HE LASTKISS EHSOYBOYS HE HISTORY ubtitled screening: LICK aily 14.4017.1019.50(Not Thurs) on/Tues) 20.20(NotMon/Tues) Fri/Sat Friday 3NovtoThurs9 o n DEPARTED l i n ( 12A) (2h10)Sat/SunOnly10.20 e a (U) (1h40)Sat/SunOnly t w (U) (1h40)Sat/SunOnly (PG) (1h50)(NFT)Daily w ( ( (15) (2h05)Fri/SatLate 18) (2h50)Daily20.50 15) (2h05)Fri/SatLate w S . TEP m ( 15) (2h10)(NFT) y v U u P e . ( c PG) o m

Advertise on this page

from just £20!E-mail [email protected] mail: [email protected]. Graduation Yearbook. Please e- the UniversityofCambridge subeditors andthedesign teamof Applications arenowopen for 38 varsity.co.uk/sport | 03.11.06

Sports editor: Bobby Friedman Sportsdesk Tel: 01223 353 422 Email: [email protected] Smashing Blues trounce Warwick II »Cambridge’s tennis players win 10-0 to start this season’s BUSA campaign in emphatic style

ILAN FEDER

Cambridge 10 Warwick 2 0

Wednesday saw the men’s Blues ten- nis team launch their entry into the BUSA league with an emphatic 10-0 drubbing of Warwick University’s 2nd team, leaving Cambridge full of confidence for the year ahead. The tone for the match, being played on indoor carpet at the Next Generation Club in Cambridge, was set early on by the Cambridge num- ber two doubles pairing of Ben Cole and Milosz Gudzowski, the latter making his debut. BUSA matches begin with both the doubles pairs playing a ‘pro-set’, playing the first to eight games, followed by a round of four, best-of-three-set, singles matches with two points awarded for each singles rubber and one point for each doubles. The pair showed no mercy against their Warwick counterparts in run- ning out 8-0 winners in less than half an hour. With Cole’s big serves as destructive as ever, and Gudzowski re-painting the lines with his trade- mark crisp returns, the Warwick pairing were made to look out of their depth. Meanwhile, on the other court, the top Blues pair of Jonathan Tassel and captain Tim Murray were making similarly light work of their match, securing a couple of early breaks of serve before easing to vic- Cambridge’s greater strength and skill was obvious as they powered past their opponents with almost embarrassing ease SOPHIE PICKFORD tory 8-2. After two such comprehensive their first sets 6-2 and 6-1 respective- ticed by the opposition, with the Cole really showed his class in hur- demonstrated his full array of results, confidence was high in the ly, new recruit Gudzowski was walk- Warwick number two commenting, rying through his second set 6-0, to strokes on the way to a more than Cambridge camp as they entered the ing onto court for his first competi- “I just didn’t know what to do make it another Cambridge win. Jon comfortable 6-2 6-2 win, to wrap up singles round. Cole and Murray, play- tive singles match in Cambridge against him…every time I hit it to Tassell was still to play in his singles proceedings. ing at numbers 3 and 4 respectively, colours. Playing at number two, the his backhand he hit a winner.” match, which was, by now, another After such an impressive victory were first up. Both players looked Yale graduate made a slightly nerv- Murray was next to finish, winning dead rubber. Even so, the the Blues must be keenly awaiting comfortable from the start, with ous start, which saw him yield the his second set with similar ease to Cambridge number one was in no their upcoming trips to Northampton Murray breaking serve twice en first game. But his forceful baseline the first, and in doing so secured the mood to surrender his staggering and Bedford. With the entire top six route to winning the first 3 games style of play was soon in full flow and match for the Blues as they obtained unbeaten singles record, which he from last year’s victorious Varsity without dropping a point, and Cole was simply too high-quality for his an unassailable 6-0 lead. His fore- has held since making his debut for team still studying in Cambridge, demonstrating his highly impressive Warwick counterpart to deal with. A hand, which has recently been re- the Blues one year ago. On this ocas- coupled with the arrival of power game, with a barrage of unre- comprehensive 6-1 6-2 victory for the modelled under the tutelage of Blues sion he was, perhaps, not quite at the Gudzowski and some promising turnable serves and forehands. American rounded off a memorable coach, Nick Brown, was particularly top of his game, but even so his Freshers, such a target is well with- As the duo were busy wrapping up debut. His ability did not go unno- effective in bringing about the win. undoubted quality was evident. He in the Blues squad’s capabilities. Rugby blues go so close Golfers halve with Saffron Walden

CONTINUED FROM BACK PAGE out of reach with a spectacular indi- match so that it was all square with one defence forced a hasty pass, which vidual effort. Fed the ball on his own JAMES RANGER hole to play. A sneaky putt from her failed to find anybody out wide. It was 10 metre line, he took advantage of opponent on the 18th consigned Taylor only a brief respite for the Blues as a the smallest of gaps, and with blister- Last weekend saw the Ladies to lose on the last, but she showed good minute later a trademark long pass ing pace ran fifty metres to score in University Golf Team start off their potential for the rest of the season. from Cipriani sent Doherty clear. The the corner. The try was converted in season in good form by halving in their Jo Reeve played next; a re-match of centre found Bishay in support, and the last minutes of ordinary time, to first match against local side Saffron her game last year. Having lost 7/6 last the winger went over near the corner. take the final score to 29-13. Walden. Despite the constant rain that time around, Reeve seemed deter- Another fine kick by Cipriani restored In terms of skill, strength, and com- accompanied them for the duration of mined to avoid a repeat. After winning Wasps’ four point lead. mitment, the Blues were at least the back nine, the team performed well, the first hole with a birdie, the match In the next twenty minutes, fast, equal to this Wasps side. The superi- helped by the addition of a new coach settled into a pattern of halved holes, end to end play tired the Blues and or stamina and fitness of a profession- this year. with Reeve just hanging on, eventually gave the advantage to the profession- al outfit, and the standout perform- Off first was Elaine Evans, the vice- winning 1-up on the 18th. als. A fly hack put Cambridge on the ances of Cipriani and centre Doherty, captain from Catz, playing against Finally Jill Hamilton from Lucy back foot, and some fumblings allowed allowed what was an extremely tense Saffron Walden’s captain from last year. Cavendish started out. Returning to Wasps to scoop up the ball and spread and close game to be lost by the Blues She was followed onto the course by golf after a long break, she needed just it wide to centre Doherty, who dived in the final quarter. The score-line Jenny Heathcoate from New Hall. Both a half to secure an overall Cambridge over in the corner, although Cipriani does not reflect the fact that the lead of these matches proved to be tough win. But she was outplayed by her did not convert. Tempers flared in changed hands five times, and the battles, and they both ended in halved opponent from Saffron Walden, losing the final quarter as two fights broke game showed an impressive variety of results. her rubber by the 14th hole, and the out simultaneously on either side of wide and tight play from both teams. Next up was Kirsty Wybar, and, match was halved overall. the pitch, resulting in both number To put this match into proper perspec- despite playing the course for the first The team played well in a promising twos being sent to the sin bin as a tive, a week ago the same Wasps XV time, she managed a fantastic win in 5/4. start to the season, setting a prece- punishment. took on the Oxford Blues and won, Fresher Katie Taylor was off the tee dence to be carried forward to the Shortly after, Cipriani put the game emphatically, 54-0. next, and she fought hard in a tough Varsity match in March.

varsity.co.uk/sport | 03.11.06 39

Tel: 01223 353 422 Sportsdesk Email: [email protected] Blues shoot down Oxford

The third quarter started off well ers’ accuracy was starting to waver. Oxford 29 for Cambridge, with an immediate By the end of the third quarter, Cambridge 32 turnover of the Oxford centre. The Cambridge was three goals up and Cambridge attack, the same trio as quite obviously physically and men- last year, consisted of Folley, as well tally on top of the game. as Rebecca Gwilliam and Kate The brief team talk before the final OLIVER SAIMAN Yateman-Smith. Between them, quarter seemed to fire up the Gwilliam and Folley were able to pen- Cambridge team even more, and they The Cambridge University Netball etrate the Oxford defence and feed came back onto court with renewed Blues headed onto court last shooter Yateman-Smith with some purpose. Having shown good levels of Wednesday for a league match with a lovely passes. The attack, it seemed, fitness throughout the match, Harriet difference; they were taking on benefited from the previous season’s McGrath continued to work hard in Oxford University. And the Blues play together, and managed to move the centre. She was defending and recorded a tense victory to set them- the ball round the attacking third intercepting, as well as bringing the selves up perfectly for this season’s patiently and effectively. Their efforts ball up the court and feeding well into Varsity match. were justly rewarded, as the Light the circle, and this was key to Despite their narrow defeat in Blues scored a spurt of well-deserved Cambridge’s firm resistance in the Varsity last year, the Cambridge goals. final minutes. team was confident with its ability Oxford’s defenders were becoming Despite a nerve-wracking moment and potential for this year, having visibly disillusioned by Cambridge’s when the score went back to evens, it been well prepared by Captain Sian play. The keeper, usually able to dom- always seemed likely that Cambridge Folley. The match started well for inate the circle due to her height would triumph. The Light Blues soon Cambridge, with strong, fast play in The netballers lost out in last year’s Varsity match against Oxford advantage and long arms, was finding went ahead again, and Oxford had no the centre court allowing the ball to In the second quarter, defensive allowed Cambridge to bring the ball it extremely difficult to make inter- reply. When the final whistle blew it easily find its way into the circle. duo Sarah Warren and Kerry down the court quickly and smoothly. ceptions, often due to the excellent was 29-32, with Cambridge recording The Oxford and Cambridge teams Bloxham fought hard to pressurise, When the ball found its way to the positioning and movement of the a well-fought and morale-boosting win. seemed well matched, both boasting intimidate and intercept in the circle, attackers, Cambridge was able to con- Cambridge shooter. Meanwhile, strong defenders and tall shooters. By leaving the Oxford attackers vert possession into goals. As the half- defensive play of the highest order Cambridge University Netball Club’s the end of the first quarter the Dark unnerved and agitated. This, com- time whistle sounded it was back to from Warren and Bloxham in the first cocktail party takes place this Blues were 8-6 up, but it was obvious bined with excellent defensive backup evens - the score a meagre 15-15 - half of the court caused Oxford to take Saturday 4th November at Downing. that in such a tightly fought match a from Harriet McGrath in the centre showing the standards of play to be off their starting shooter. Due to Tickets are priced £10 and are avail- two goal lead counted for little. and Rachael Smith on the wing, high on both sides. increased pressure the Oxford attack- able from any member of the squad

Joe Powell Rowing pains: It’s Queens’ Ergs & Oscar Gamblers Brodkin Unanimous

“Money won is twice as sweet as expect us to buy your pressies. the world, boasting a 36-0 record money earned”. Fast Eddie Felson Each week we will give you three with 24 knockouts. However, we in The Color of Money said it best. main tips; “The Bank Job”, “The Long think the crafty Baldomir has got While every leaflet, counsellor, ther- Shot” and “The Porters’ Tip”. Betfair what it takes to last the distance, apist or parent will advise against have provided us with a starting bank fresh from an exceptionally gritty gambling, or, as we like to call it, of £200, a portion of which we will use display against Arturo Gatti. “investment in knowledge”, we may each week, with any profits at the end Mayweather to win on points at 1.55 gamble guilt-free for two of term being donated to charity. “The is a very solid prospect, and turns a reasons: first, with a Bank Job’” is our most confident tip tenner into just over £15. concoction of disci- and, whilst it won’t net you a fortune, “The Porters’ Tip” is Desert pline, gut instinct and this is the bet to keep your bank roll Quest in the 3.55 at Wincanton on intelligence, it is cer- ticking over nicely. “The Long Shot” Saturday, which you can watch via tainly possible to will be a bit more of a risky punt, but terrestrial TV on Channel 4. From make money; and, sec- the rewards will be the stable of champion trainer Paul ond, the wager far greater when Nicholls, this one sauntered home at involved will invariably our betting radar Ascot the other day carrying top add to the excitement of is in tune. Finally, weight, never coming out of second any sporting event, be it “The Porters’ gear. He has already been backed The Boat Race, Varsity Tip” will come for the Champion Hurdle at rugby, the Champions’ from the chaps Cheltenham next March. Whether League or even curling at who look after he’s up to that class just yet is an the Olympics. our safety and, open question, but he should take So welcome to Varsity’s now, hopefully care of his Wincanton rivals at the newest addition, our pockets too. weekend. A £5 bet should pay nicely. “Gamblers Unanimous”, a Our “Long Shot” We’ll be back next week to tell you weekly betting column spon- this week comes from Old how we did and to give you some sored by Betfair.com. We are not Trafford, where Manchester United more betting tips. here to encourage, but to advise; to host Portsmouth this Saturday at warn against the classic mistakes 3pm. Having made a record start to This week’s top tips we all make with dollar signs in our this year’s title race, Harry eyes and a figure of James Bond by Redknapp’s men demand respect The Bank Job the Blackjack table in our minds. from the current league leaders. We Baldomir vs Mayweather. “What in the name of Austin envisage a tight first half with the Mayweather win on points. Powers do you know then?” we hear on-form Rooney to make the differ- Stake: £10 you cry. Neither of us is proud to say ence in the second. “Draw first half, that we’ve spent more hours in the Man Utd second half” at 4.8 is a The Long Shot bookies than in the lecture theatre. juicy price. We recommend a £5 Man Utd vs Portsmouth. Draw at But we hope that the sacrifices stake on Betfair, which will yield a half time, United win at full time. we’ve made in preparing for many a total return of 24 big ones. Lovely Stake: £5 four o’clock supervision with one jubbly! eye on the 2.10 at Newbury will pay Saturday night is fight night. The Porters’ Tip dividends for our readers. So, when Floyd “Pretty Boy” Mayweather is Desert Quest in the 3.55 at that 20-1 shot romps home, we’ll be challenged by the Argentine, Carlos Wincanton on Saturday. waiting by the bar in Cindies Baldomir, for the WBC world wel- Stake: £5 expecting a drink or two. But when terweight title. Mayweather has

Christmas is cancelled due to an earned the reputation for being the EMILY WRIGHT upset at the Abbey Stadium, don’t best “pound for pound” fighter in Queens’ men and Jesus women bench-pulled to victory

SPORT | 03.11.06 Tennis Netball varsity.co.uk/sport Men triumph 10-0 Oxford showdown [email protected] page 38 page 39

CAPTAIN’S CORNER Blues stung by London Wasps Men’s Squash »Thrilling rugby match sees an unlucky Cambridge side lose out TOM MARRIOTT

Cambridge 13 Wasps A 29

In one of the most exciting games played at the Grange Road ground in recent years, the Blues fought hard against a strong Wasps XV, and at times looked capable of stealing the win. In the end the inherent stamina MATT AUSTIN of a professional rugby team was the only thing separating the two teams in How long have you been playing? this fast and expansive game. I started playing at school when I Make no mistake about it, nominally was 8. Luckily, my school had a an “A” team, this Wasps XV would squash club in its grounds, so I was not have looked out of place in the coached from a young age. My dad Premiership. In a line-up boasting used to play a bit as well, although Irish flanker Jonny O’Connor, return- he gave up playing when I beat him ing from injury, eager to reclaim his aged 12. first team place, as well as Simon How did you start in Cambridge? Amor at scrum half, the real star was After not playing at senior school, I Daniel Cipriani in the number ten started playing a lot again in my shirt. Cipriani, still only 19, but gap year to keep fit. I was really already hotly tipped as the future for enjoying squash again, so I signed England at outside half, dominated the game in every respect. In what SOPHIE PICKFORD up for trials at the societies fair and Cambridge went ahead in the second half but the Wasps proved too strong for the Blues Shaun Edwards, Wasps’ coach, has it went on from there. described as “his best game in a Wasps make the score 3-0. The Blues rallied far out to bring the score to 10-6 in well, but the touch judges ruled that How good is the team? shirt”, Cipriani was playing in a differ- well and were awarded a penalty far Wasps’ favour. the kick was not good, and the sides We've got a very strong group of ent league to all those around him, into Wasps’ half. Jonny Ufton con- This was to remain the scoreline ended the half with the scores players this year. Our No.1, Harry including, to their detriment at times, verted well to bring the Blues level. until the half-time whistle, with the unchanged. Leitch, is ranked 2 in Scotland, and those on his own team. Particularly in Good forward pressure saw the Blues Blues holding up well in the face of The Blues returned to the pitch our No.2, Jamie Douglas, was a jun- the second half, his sharp running, win another penalty, after a specula- some strong play by the backs. Much after half time aggressive and hungry, ior British champion. Thanks to lightning pace and mercurial handling tive drop goal attempt, during a peri- of the pressure was orchestrated by and within a minute of play they had players of this quality, our excellent allowed Wasps to take the advantage od of played advantage, which fell Cipriani, who came close to putting snatched back the lead. Outside cen- coach Richard Loke and the gener- as the Blues tired. wide. Ufton followed by converting a centre David Doherty over, with a tre Joe Ansbro, playing committed ous support we get from EMB, The Cambridge team fielded per- difficult kick to take the Blues ahead neat pass that was deemed to have and impressive rugby, punched a per- we're looking for our 10th straight haps their strongest possible line-up, 6-3. gone forward. A scrappy ten minutes fect line through the Wasps backs, in a Varsity win. We’re probably one of and played some outstanding rugby at In the first fifteen minutes it looked followed, in which the boxing gloves wonderfully worked move to put the best four UK universities. times, giving us a tantalising glimpse like the Blues were to have the better came out in the first of the evening’s down for a try under the posts. Ufton What’s the greatest moment in of things to come over the course of of the Wasps pack. However, the three fights, but the Blues held on to converted comfortably to take the your squash career? the season. Wasps kicked off, but, hav- Wasps’ tight five dominated the ensu- deny Wasps any further points. Blues 13-10 ahead. Winning Varsity in my first year. ing failed to reach the ten metres, play ing period of play and, through a series As the half came to a close, Ross But, unfortunately for the Blues, We played at the incredible RAC returned for a scrum. After exchang- of rucks and driving mauls, pushed the Blake, playing at scrum half, made a this lead was short lived. From the Club on Pall Mall, which used to ing a number of nervous end-to-end Blues right back to their own line. A superb break up the left flank and a restart, Wasps had a kickable penalty hold the British Open, squash’s kicks, the Blues appeared to be capi- neatly worked lineout, followed by a number of great offloads saw the inside the Cambridge twenty two, but most prestigious tournament. I won talising on some strong forward play. driving maul, saw Rob Webber score Blues come close to scoring again. chose to go for the corner. After anoth- my match, and we won 4-1 overall But Wasps broke into their half and for Wasps in the far corner, taking Cambridge continued to attack the er powerful drive took play up to the in front of a huge crowd and in an won a penalty, which Cipriani duly back the lead in the 21st minute. line effectively and were awarded a Cambridge line, the ball was moved amazing atmosphere. This year's converted on the four minute mark, to Cipriani kicked a fine conversion from penalty for their efforts. Ufton kicked CONTINUED ON PAGE 38 match is on February 17 and is well worth watching. What’s your best piece of advice? The When playing, keep it simple, be Week In patient and don’t lose your head. Weather FRI SAT SUN MON TUE WED THUR

Re-arrange the letters by rotating the Hitori Sudoku Kakuro discs to create six separate six-letter Shade in the squares so that no number occurs more than once The object is to insert the numbers in the boxes to satisfy only one Fill the grid so that each run of squares adds up to the total in per row or column. Shaded squares may not be horizontally or condition: each row, column and 3x3 box must contain the digits the box above or to the left. Use only numbers 1-9, and never words leading in to the centre. Email vertically adjacent. Unshaded squares must form a single 1 through 9 exactly once. use a number more than once per run (a number may reoccur continuous area. in the same row in a separate run). your answer to: [email protected]

1 6 8 9 N 6 1 5 2 3 2 4 14 21 4 7 5 2 1 3 12 A 5 3 4 1 3 6 4 X

8 9 7 6 A 14 L R A A O 7 4 2 4 5 1 6 COMPETITION L N 5 1 2 4 24 14 S A I I A I 3 2 7 5 7 7 4 6 4 1 7 3 7 Y 16 Win a pair of tickets to the Arts A Picturehouse. O N

24 4 D D A 2 4 9 6 Tickets available T 2 1 6 3 4 1 5 W U 4 S C to use Monday to E P 7 8 4 2 14 Thursday at any C V

3 5 7 2 1 4 7 R e e e r r r point in the o o o o o o 9 5 3 8 O M M M Michaelmas term. h h h t t t 26 e e e r r r a a a 6 6 1 6 2 4 3 M © Adam Edelshain G G G 3 7 6 5 © © ©

Now here's something more for you to think about. Graduate careers in Consulting. More at accenture.com/ukgraduates