Grin Transcript The Comedy Unit - BBC Manchester Over 250 writers and performers attended the launch night of the Northern BBC Comedy Unit on 30th October 2003 at Jongleurs in Manchester. The following is the transcript of an informal master-class given by Kenton Allen, BBC Editor of Comedy ; Graham Linehan, Writer of Father Ted, Black Books, Big Train ; Susan Nickson, writer of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps ; and Fred Barron, the creator of My Family. ‘Grin’ Transcript: K = Kenton G = Graham S = Susan F = Fred K Your day to day job is writing comedy. How do you actually go about it? G When I work with Arthur, we get together at around 12, we read papers for about 5 hours and then we write for an hour … and then we play computer golf. That’s basically it. Actually that’s not quite true. Arthur’s always had a real work ethic, so when I’m working with him I’m at my most productive. We work for 4 or 5 hours every day. K But do you have a routine when you’re on your own? G Yes. I do the day I just described, except for real. K Without the writing? G With the writing. But, but very little writing. I just do just enough so that I won’t feel guilty. And then I play computer golf! K And Susan, do you have computer golf? S I don’t have computer golf. I have “This Morning”, when it used to be with “Richard and Judy”. That was a great ‘putter offer’. Now, I like Terry and Gaby! Watching those shows are my way of putting things off. It’s the nature of writing, that you procrastinate and procrastinate until it gets to 4 o’clock and…and then it’s tea time. K And does that happen with a team-written show? F Yes. There’s just a lot more of us doing it. The way I work is, I panic. I put things off as long as I can because basically, we all know we’re funny and writing is just making choices. G I don’t know I’m funny… K But Fred, you say you know you’re funny – I’m not sure Graham and Susan know that they’re funny. That’s a very confident American thing to say. F You write to prove you’re funny. That’s the reason you write. Grin Transcript G Every time you hand something in you’re asking – ‘Am I funny?’ And then they tick the box. G I don’t think I could do this if I thought it was only for other people. F Why should it depend on them? You know you’re funny. G No I, I think I’m strange. I don’t think I’m funny. K Let’s get back to basics. How did you all get your first break writing TV comedy? F Luck plays a huge part and anybody who says it’s just hard work is lying. You need the hard work to get there. I was a journalist and I’d take the piss out of everything. The reason I started writing films is because I’d never seen a film script! I sat down to write a play. It was like ‘Shakespeare did this – f***!’ so I couldn’t do that. So I wrote a screen play. At the time I was a journalist and I was covering a festival. K What sort of journalist were you? F Bad! I wrote about The Arts, and anything that would pay. K You were a journalist as well, Graham, weren’t you? G Yes. I was writing in Ireland for a music magazine and then I came over to England to write for another music magazine. And because they would only let me interview bands like Inspiral Carpets, who I thought were OK … S They’re from Manchester! G They are from Manchester. But let’s face it. They were just OK. I think I just saw someone down there that might be in them! But after a while, I got frustrated ‘cos I wasn’t allowed to write about the bands I really cared about. So I asked Arthur to come over and he had a few ideas. We started writing sketches and sending them in to “Smith and Jones”. K Uninvited? G Yes. Here’s Tip One of the evening. When you look at the credits of a show and there’s lots of people, you should probably write to the producer of that show. When we saw the credits on “Smith and Jones” we thought ‘loads of people write for that – we’ll write for that.’ S Would that only work for a sketch show? G I don’t know. I’d never send a sitcom script in of a show that already existed. Would you? K That happens more in America doesn’t it? F The way it would work in the States is you’d write a spec script of a show that does exist, to show that you can do it. I think it’s good to prove you can write somebody else’s show, to prove you have the Grin Transcript ear, you have a sense of structure and you can tell a story. I’m hoping that there will be more opportunities to get into the system without just saying ‘I have to create my own show and I’ll stand or fall on this thing.’ K Susan, you entered the Lloyd’s Bank Film Challenge didn’t you? S Yes, that’s where it started off. I think competitions are the best way in to any sort of writing. The BBC run loads of competitions. K But how old were you when you won the competition? S 14. K How old are you now? S 25. K So you’re a bit of a child prodigy? S No, I don’t think so. K But where did that desire to write comedy at the age of 14 come from? S I’m pretty sure it’s true of everyone on this panel that when you start to write something, even if you try and make it into a drama, it’s going to end up a comedy, ‘cos that’s what comes spilling out of your brain onto the page. F When I was joking earlier, saying that we all know we’re funny - I do think it’s important that you know that you’ve got something, otherwise why bother? When I started out, I wrote a 4-paragraph film review that I sent into an underground newspaper and I got back a 3-page single-spaced letter back from the editor saying why I should never, ever write again. And I came away thinking ‘Wow! He responded’. You’ve got to absolutely believe that you’ve got something worth saying. I know it’s essential that other people like it for us to make a living. But if you don’t feel that sense of yourself you’re gonna be screwed from the start. ‘Cos then you’re gonna be always trying to catch up with ‘what they might want’ and that’s the worst place to be. K When you’re writing a comedy series, where do you start? G I try to coalesce all the things that are interesting me at the time and see what types of people best represent those things. And then once I’ve found those people, I try to give them names and see if they’ll start talking. K Can you tell us what you’re writing about at the moment? Grin Transcript G I.T. It’s the people in every building who fix computers. I’ve written one script, but I don’t know if it’s working. It may take another 6 months before it starts working. I just realised that things like texting, emails and stuff like that are affecting people’s lives in very strong ways. And I didn’t see millions of shows that were reflecting that, so I thought that might be a good thing to write a show about. So that’s what it’s about … I bet you someone in the audience is thinking ‘But I’m writing things about IT!’ What I’d say to that it’s probably completely different, and I wouldn’t worry about it. I’d keep writing it anyway. K But are you starting with the world of IT, or starting with characters? G I had a bunch of ideas that seemed very technological or computer based. I mentioned something to my wife about computer geeks and stuff and she actually suggested I could call it “The IT Crowd” and I thought ‘That’s a brilliant title!’ So I’ve actually just completely ignored everything else, because I want to keep that title. So at the moment, that’s why it’s about IT people, who I know nothing about. And I really do have to do some research. But I’m just basing it on my ignorance of the whole world. K Where do you start? It’s Monday morning – 10 … or 4 o’clock in the afternoon. You’ve got a blank screen. F It never starts at the screen. It always starts with walking around. I’ll draw from everything - the people I see or things that I hear; I look at a lot of people on buses.