Common BDSM Terms Wisdom - Okay, this is not strictly a BDSM term, and it’s out of alphabetical order. It’s here, because ​ ​ ​ it’s the most important thing you need to know about the world of BDSM . Wisdom is knowing what is safe and what is not. Wisdom, is admitting you don’t know how to safely do an activity and making sure that you learn the pleasures and risks before you try. Wisdom is knowing who is safe and who is not. Whatever you choose from this menu of activities, consider your emotional and physical limitations and those of your partner. Which leads us to. Consent - As a noun = permission, approval, agreement or compliance. As a verb = to permit, approve ​ comply or yield. Doing anything to another person requires their consent, including taking away their consent. (See Power Exchange and Negotiation) ​ ​ ​ ​ It should be noted that no list, no matter how exhaustive, is ever all inclusive or complete. Language and kink activities are often changing within the kink/BDSM world. We encourage everyone to keep learning, keep asking questions and most important keep safe. Age Play - Role play where participants act out age disparity, for example parent/child student/teacher or ​ get enjoyment from acting as if they were either younger or older than they really are. Animal/Pet Play - Games in which one or more partners, usually the bottom, takes on the role of an ​ animal. Most common is probably a dog, or cat although horses are also popular. The 'animal' may imitate animal behavior, wear items such as collars, ears, tails, leads, bridles and so on, or carry out tasks associated with animal behavior. BDSM - Acronym for bondage, domination, submission or sadism, and masochism ​ Biting - From nibbling to chomping, can be used for sensation ​ Blindfolds - Play which involves temporarily blocking the submissive's sense of sight. The other senses ​ can become heightened when the ability to see is removed. Blindfolds come in many forms from expensive leather (full-head type) to found items like handkerchiefs, scarves, or bandages. Safety Note: Do not make the blindfold too tight as to put pressure on the eyeballs. Although some people take blindfolding in stride, it can have unpredictable psychological effects and be extremely frightening for some people. Breath Control - Refers to play involving control of or restriction of air and / or oxygen to the brain. ​ Methods include strangling, which is compression of the neck/throat area to prevent the flow of oxygen to the brain, suffocation which involves reducing the level of oxygen available to breathe; and hanging where the body is suspended by the neck (remember, all these games are extremely dangerous to play, either alone or with a partner). Bondage -The restriction of a person's bodily movements using fastenings of various types or textures. ​ Reasons for bondage can include art (see Shibari), restriction, punishment, reward, and restraint, ​ ​ www.pleasureevolution.com Asheville, NC * (828) 348-4925 Commonly used means include rope, cuffs, chains, zip ties, scarves. Bottom - The person receiving sensation, usually being directed by the Top during a scene. ​ ​ ​ Caning - Spanking with a long thin implement made of wood, bamboo, plastic etc. Technique ranges ​ from light and sensual, to percussive to heavy. Care should be used, as the welts from heavy caning are slow to rise, and blood can be accidentally drawn if not in constant monitoring. Chastity- The act of sexual abstinence. Forced chastity involves banning or physically preventing one ​ (male or female) from achieving orgasm or any form of genital stimulation. Can be a means of domination over one's submissive or a pledge to one’s dominant. Can be enforced with a lockable device. Cock & Ball Torture - otherwise known as CBT can include bondage, impact play, orgasm teasing and ​ denial, multiple forms of sensation play. Before attempting, education on the anatomy of the testicles would be beneficial to avoid doing irreparable harm. Cock Ring - Rubber, metal, or leather type ring used to strap around the base of the cock and balls when ​ soft. Increases blood flow to the genital area during self stimulation and sex. When released, causes minor pain during resumption of blood flow. Collar - A collar worn around the neck to indicate one's submissiveness. These can be made of leather, ​ steel, rubber, rope, etc. Domestic Service - the performance of chores and acts of service by a submissive. Can also include ​ sexually pleasing clothing (i.e., maid outfits), naked or fetish wear. Dominant, Dom or Domme - a person who derives their pleasure from being in control of another, who ​ oversees and controls (the play experience) Edge Play - Physical contact involving sharp edges such as knives, and swords. ​ Electrical Play - Popular devices include "TENS" units designed for the relief of muscle and back pain; ​ and "Violet Wands" which use a radio frequency discharge. Knowledge before playing of anatomy and safety strongly recommended. ​ ​ Exhibitionism - Getting turn on by the idea or actuality of being watched, esp in a state of undress or ​ intimate acts. Eye Contact Restrictions - Restricting one's submissive from any eye contact with the Dominant (i.e., ​ forcing submissive to look away / look down). Similar to military boot camps. Fisting (Anal / Vaginal) - Play which involves placing or attempting to place the entire hand (or even ​ both hands) in the rectum / vagina. This technique requires training to be done safely. www.pleasureevolution.com Asheville, NC * (828) 348-4925 Flame Play/ Fire Play- Play which involves the use of fire in scening. It should be noted here that using ​ any type of fire / flame during scening is quite dangerous and could result in permanent scarring / burning of the body. Use extreme care when using fire in scenes, as this is extremely dangerous. Flogger - an impact play device usually with many "tails". Can be made from almost any flexible ​ material from chain to rope, though leather is most common. Foot Worship - The practice of play involving a fetish for feet. Commonly used for domination and ​ humiliation practices (i.e., licking / cleaning of the Dominant's feet). Gags - To restrict the use of the mouth by inserting a gag, in various textures (i.e., cloth, leather, ball gag, ​ etc.). When using gags, it is important to remember that these only be worn for short periods of time. This form of play can be dangerous. Gas Mask - A mask worn on the face connected to a chemical air filter and used to protect the face and ​ lungs from toxic gases. Used mostly in breathplay. Golden Shower - Play which involves urinating on your partner. ​ Hairbrush Spanking - Play which involves the use of a hairbrush to inflict pain on the buttocks. ​ Commonly used in "naughty boy / girl" scenes for punishment. Harness - Bondage apparatus consisting of a network of straps designed to form a web over a large area ​ of the body or head. Well-known leather body harness for wearing around the upper torso. Harnesses can be constructed from a variety of materials. Some harnesses built properly are used in suspension. Hot Oils -The use of warmed oils for massaging or various other uses for erotic type play. Be careful of ​ oil temperature before applying to another's skin, test on Your own forearm first. This form of play can be dangerous. Hot Wax -Process of using hot wax in scening. The wax most commonly used are candles and can be ​ used on various parts of the body for erotic stimulation. Note: Some types of wax, beeswax for instance, have a tendency to become extremely hot during burning and should always be used carefully to prevent permanent burning / scarring of the skin. Note: not for the novice, as this form of play is extremely dangerous. Humiliation - To humiliate the submissive by requiring them to perform things they normally would not ​ do, most commonly in public (i.e., wearing revealing clothing; having sex in public; playing out puppy, boy / girl scenes, etc.). Hypnotism - To place someone in a trance-type state, and offer suggestions into certain types of ​ behavior. Safety note: This form of play is not for the novice. Ice Play - ice used on nipples or genital areas for desensitization of senses or nerves. ​ Immobilization - Any form of bondage technically immobilizes someone; however, this term is usually ​ used for extreme forms of bondage where the submissive literally cannot move a muscle. Not recommended for long periods of time, and is dangerous. www.pleasureevolution.com Asheville, NC * (828) 348-4925 Infantilism - Scening where the submissive assumes the role of a child / infant and is treated as such (i.e., ​ diaper wearing, spankings, standing in corner, etc.). Initiation Rites - A *Term* meaning the rites, ceremonies, and / or ordeals by which an individual is ​ made a member of a house or society. Example: College initiations ("hell week"). More commonly known as "beat-in" or "earning letters", such as pain slut. Interrogations - Term meaning question, systematically and formally. Commonly performed in "police ​ interrogations"; police-type scening. Commonly used for humiliation J Kidnapping - Term meaning to seize, detain, or carry away by unlawful force. Some players in the ​ BDSM scene have fantasies regarding kidnapping and may ask for a scene involving some sort of "play kidnapping". This form of play requires after care and is classified as illegal in many areas. Kneeling - To be used as a form of "respect" toward the Dominant. Making the submissive kneel when ​ the Dominant enters the room, during scening, in public, etc. A punishment form of kneeling is where the submissive is kneeling in a different position then for *offering* herself. Knife Play -Cutting the surface of the skin with sharp objects, generally a knife, for the thrill, sensation, ​ or pain.