The Art of Flogging 101 Demostration
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Kinky Checklist
Sex Gets Real invites you to... Get Your Kinky On Ready to explore some edgy, kinky play in the bedroom? This comprehensive checklist is the perfect way for you and your lover to discover fantasies you may have in common, and to help launch a more open discussion about desires and needs. Remember - our limits and desires change over time. Use this periodically to check in and try new things! Time to get sexy... sexgetsreal.com Copyright 2016, Sex Gets Real, LLC Welcome to your kinky, juicy checklist of fun. Before we begin, let's go over a few tips and guidelines to ensure you get exactly what you want out of this list. 1. Different strokes for different folks. What follows is a collection of sweet, intimate, edgy, invasive, loving, violent, and dangerous types of play. Keep an open mind, but never do anything you aren't ready to explore. 2. Do it alone, or with others. Use this list to check in with yourself. What interests you? What scares you, but sets your body on fire? Or, make a few copies, and have your lover complete one, as well. Compare notes, and see what you may have in common. 3. You determine the intensity. Honor your body. Respect your limits. This is not about harming yourself or others. This is about having fun and making sex into an adventure. If you see something like biting or flogging or hair pulling, those things can be done so lightly they almost tickle. Rape play sounds scary, but what if it's just you blindfolded and your lover wearing new cologne so they smell like a stranger? Get creative. -
Loving BDSM Checklist
Loving BDSM Checklist We wish we could list every single kinky act and fetish out there, but since almost anything can be made a little kink, it’s impossible to list everything. This, however, should be a good starting point if you’re new. How to use the checklist: ● Print as many copies as you need ● Read each activity ● Choose how you do or might want to interact with the activity: give (G), receive (R), or both (B) ● Write Y or N whether you’ve tried it or not ● Check whether like it, feel “meh” about it (neutral), or dislike it ● For things you haven’t done, write Y or N on whether you’d be willing to try it ● If you know you’re a hard no on an activity, check the hard limit box at the end. ● Use the notes section at the back to write down ideas. items not on the list, things to research, and any topics you want to discuss with your partner. Once you and your partner(s) are done, it’s time to compare notes. Talk about what you love and hate. Research anything you’re unsure about. For anything that’s new to you and you want to try together, consider this your first kinky bucket list. You don’t have to like everything your partner does in order to have kinky fun. You don’t have to be really experienced, either. BDSM and D/s are about growing as individuals and together. This is simply a tool to help you on your path. -
Kink Activity List for Date
Kink Activity List for Date A blank under Experience = Yes No Under Willingness = Yes No Notes 1. This version is intended for Bottoms & Switches with their Bottom hat on 2. ? Don't understand this item. 3. No under Willingness is a hard limit, subject to any notes 4. Flogging is defined as mild to moderate (& occasionally severe) with multi-tailed implements 5. Whipping is defined as severe usually with a single-tail or very wicked implement 6. Novices may change the Experience column heading to: Blank = No 7. For # put a number from 1 (barely tolerate) to 10 (love it!) for how much you like the activity. Experience Willingness # Notes & Nuances Blank = ? Blank = ? Including any medical concerns Anal penetration (properly prepared) - cock Anal penetration - dildo/butt plug/fingers Anal plug (public, under clothes) Animal play (sex with real animals) Arm & leg sleeves (arm/leg binders) Aromas Auctioned for charity Anilingus/rimming (oral/anal play) Beating anywhere on body (soft/moderate) Beating anywhere on body (hard) Blindfolds Being serviced sexually by other subs Being bitten Blood play (rose canes, vampire gloves, etc.) Boot worship/polishing Bondage – usually rope, other types too (light) Bondage (heavy) Bondage (multi-day) Bondage (public, under clothing) Bondage (Intricate Japanese rope) Branding (cell popping method) 1 Kink Activity List for Date A blank under Experience = Yes No Under Willingness = Yes No Experience Willingness # Notes & Nuances Blank = ? Blank = ? Including any medical concerns Branding (violet wand) Branding -
BDSM Checklist
BDSM Desires/Limitations List Below you will find a list of different BDSM activities. Take the time to go through this list and figure out where your desires lie. Also make sure you indicate where your soft limits and hard limits are. The time spent on this sheet can help to provide you with better clarification of what you need and desire in your life. It can also give a partner a reference to better understand your desires and what is on and off limits for play. Instructions: On the left hand side is each BDSM/Kinky/Fetish Activity to the right of each activity are four columns. Previous Experience: Here is your chance to list how much experience you have with the particular activity. If you have no experience you can leave the space blank for that activity. If you have experience you can list your level of experience from 1 – 10 1 – having only tried the activity one or two times 2-4 – Increasing the amount of play with that activity 5 – a moderate amount of experience or on and off experience in past training/play 6-9 - Increasing the amount of play with that activity BDSMTrainingAcademy.com 10 – having participated in the activity more times than you can remember or was a regular activity in past training/play Desire/Limits: In this column you can list the activities that you desire to have incorporated into play/training and also the activities that are off limits and that you don't want to take part in. ?: By putting a question mark beside an activity you are indicating that you do not know what this activity is and therefore can not determine interest or non-interest in the activity. -
In the Habit of Being Kinky: Practice and Resistance
IN THE HABIT OF BEING KINKY: PRACTICE AND RESISTANCE IN A BDSM COMMUNITY, TEXAS, USA By MISTY NICOLE LUMINAIS A dissertation submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY WASHINGTON STATE UNIVERSITY Department of Anthropology MAY 2012 © Copyright by MISTY NICOLE LUMINAIS, 2012 All Rights Reserved © Copyright by MISTY NICOLE LUMINAIS, 2012 All rights reserved To the Faculty of Washington State University: The members of the Committee appointed to examine the dissertation of MISTY NICOLE LUMINAIS find it satisfactory and recommend that it be accepted. ___________________________________ Nancy P. McKee, Ph.D., Chair ___________________________________ Jeffrey Ehrenreich, Ph.D. ___________________________________ Faith Lutze, Ph.D. ___________________________________ Jeannette Mageo, Ph.D. ii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I could have not completed this work without the support of the Cactus kinky community, my advisors, steadfast friends, generous employers, and my family. Members of the kinky community welcomed me with all my quirks and were patient with my incessant questions. I will always value their strength and kindness. Members of the kinky community dared me to be fully present as a complete person rather than relying on just being a researcher. They stretched my imagination and did not let my theories go uncontested. Lively debates and embodied practices forced me to consider the many paths to truth. As every anthropologist before me, I have learned about both the universality and particularity of human experience. I am amazed. For the sake of confidentiality, I cannot mention specific people or groups, but I hope they know who they are and how much this has meant to me. -
CDR's Kink Interest & Willingness Inventory
Name ___________________________ 1 CDR’s Kink Interest & Willingness Inventory Purpose: This inventory is designed to help facilitate communication between you and your partner about your kink and sexual interests, desires and curiosities as well as to gauge your willingness to try things outside your own interests if it means pleasing your partner. Directions: 1. Decide if you wish to fill this out as someone taking on the role of a dominant/top, submissive/bottom or (if the role you like to take varies) as a switch. 2. Fill out your copy of this inventory privately. Try not to rush. 3. Set a time to sit down with your partner to exchange inventories, read them and discuss. This should be outside the bedroom, like over coffee, where there is no pressure to immediately try any of the activities. Rate your interest or willingness on a scale of 0 to 3, as a hard limit or unknown: • 0 = I have no interest, but it’s not a hard limit • 1 = I have very little interest or willingness • 2 = I have some interest or willingness • 3 = I am very interested or willing • X = This is a hard limit. I am not willing to do this under any circumstances. • ? = I don’t know what this is. Definitions: “Interested In” is about your desires. It means that you would like, or think you would like, to experience this activity. “Willing To” is about experimenting with or pleasing your partner. It indicates your level of willingness to try something for your partner, regardless of your own level of interest in an activity. -
Fifty Shades of Grey: Implications for Counseling BDSM Clients
Article 13 Fifty Shades of Grey: Implications for Counseling BDSM Clients Melissa N. Freeburg and Melanie J. McNaughton Freeburg, Melissa N., Department of Counselor Education, Bridgewater State University. McNaughton, Melanie J., Department of Communication Studies, Bridgewater State University. Abstract Four primary themes regarding counseling BDSM clients are addressed: popular culture, mental health contexts and the DSM, parallels with now-defunct homosexual paraphilias, and resources for counselors. The authors present an introduction of commonly used BDSM terms based on field research and supported by a case study. Attention is given to challenges BDSM clients face, paraphilic disorder codes used to clinically define BDSM activities, and how diagnostic codes pathologize nontraditional sexuality, which can create a disjunction between counselor education and clients’ lived experiences. This disjunction is emphasized by popularizations of BDSM, such as E. L. James’ Fifty Shades trilogy, which expand social acceptance while also solidifying misrepresentations of the kink lifestyle. Keywords: BDSM, Fifty Shades, paraphilia, nontraditional sexuality, counselor education “Jason” entered into our counseling relationship with a presenting concern of adjusting to his recent separation from his wife of 15 years. He purposefully sought me out as a counselor based on a referral that identified my practice as kink-friendly. Jason admitted that during his marriage he had numerous sexual relationships with women without his wife’s knowledge. He stated that his emotional and physical connection with his wife was strong but that sex was infrequent and too “vanilla” for his liking. He perceived that she would not be open to any kinky activities. To satisfy his interest in exploring the BDSM (an overlapping abbreviation of Bondage and Discipline [BD], Dominance and Submission [DS], Sadism and Masochism [SM]) lifestyle, Jason joined several fetish-based Web sites, which is where he made contact with other women. -
Sexual Pleasure Objects, Fantasy, Variations, Soft-BDSM, ESR, Hypersexuality, Sex Addiction and Nymphomania
Crimson Publishers Review Article Wings to the Research DSM Controversies, Defining the Normal and the Paraphilia: Sexual Pleasure Objects, Fantasy, Variations, Soft-BDSM, ESR, Hypersexuality, Sex Addiction and Nymphomania ISSN: 2578-0042 Ümit Sayin H* AbstractInstitute of Forensic Sciences, İstanbul University-Cerrahpasa, Turkey In sexuality research and sex therapy, it is generally very difficult to define “the normal” and to differentiate variations, mild and harmless fantasies, sexual games and fantasy role play from paraphilia. In DSM classifications, there are still dilemmas, misinterpretations, contradictions and controversies to define paraphilias and what pathology is and what is not. There are new definitions and terminology in sexuality research, such as “Expanded Sexual Response” (ESR), “status orgasmus” “Never Ending Orgasms (Super Orgasms)”, “Deep Vaginal Erogenous Zones” (DVZ),”Sexual Pleasure Objects” (SEPOs), “Hypersexuality” “Non-genital orgasms” and “soft-non-pathological BDSM” etc. In this review novel *Corresponding author: definitions of some new notions are given and it is discussed why those sexual behaviors cannot be Ümit Sayin regarded as a pathology or paraphilia, such as “Hypersexuality” and soft-BDSM; a unified definition of H, Associate Professor, Institute of paraphilias is proposed. Sometimes, ESR women are often confused with pathological hypersexuality. Forensic Sciences, Cerrahpaşa-İstanbul, ESR is defined as: “being able to attain long lasting and/or prolonged and/or multiple and/or sustained President of Asehert-Ciseated, Director orgasms and/or status orgasmus that lasted longer and more intense than the classical orgasm patterns Submission:of SexuS Journal, Turkey defined in the literature”. Lately a research performed in United Kingdom revealed that the research team had discovered more than 500 women who were having more than 30 to 50 orgasms in one or two hours Published: June 02, 2019 (see: You Tube, “Never Ending Orgasm” documentary). -
Increasing Clinicians' Understandings of Kink
St. Catherine University SOPHIA Master of Social Work Clinical Research Papers School of Social Work 5-2013 Surrendering Safely: Increasing Clinicians’ Understandings of Kink Richard S. Laska St. Catherine University Follow this and additional works at: https://sophia.stkate.edu/msw_papers Part of the Social Work Commons Recommended Citation Laska, Richard S.. (2013). Surrendering Safely: Increasing Clinicians’ Understandings of Kink. Retrieved from Sophia, the St. Catherine University repository website: https://sophia.stkate.edu/msw_papers/222 This Clinical research paper is brought to you for free and open access by the School of Social Work at SOPHIA. It has been accepted for inclusion in Master of Social Work Clinical Research Papers by an authorized administrator of SOPHIA. For more information, please contact [email protected]. Running Head: INCREASING CLINICIANS’ UNDERSTANDINGS OF KINK Surrendering Safely: Increasing Clinicians’ Understandings of Kink by Richard S. Laska, B. A. MSW Clinical Research Paper Presented to the Faculty of the School of Social Work St Catherine University and the University of St. Thomas St. Paul, Minnesota in Partial fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of Master of Social Work Committee Members David Roseborough, Ph.D., (Chair) James Stolz, MSW Scott Jacoby, Ph.D., L.P. The Clinical Research Project is a graduation requirement for MSW students at St. Catherine University/University of St. Thomas School of Social Work in St. Paul, Minnesota and is conducted within a nine-month time frame to demonstrate facility with basic social research methods. Students must independently conceptualize a research problem, formulate a research design that is approved by a research committee and the university Institutional Review Board, implement the project, and publicly present the findings of the study. -
Kink Negotiation & Scene Planning Tools
Kink Negotiation & Scene Planning Tools ROUGH BS Pre-Scene Planning Tool ROUGH BS is a proprietary preliminary BDSM negotiation tool. The acronym stands for Restrained, Owned, Used, Given Away, Humiliated, Beaten, Serve. Its purpose is to outline the general categories of play you and your scene partners most enjoy. This can help determine overall compatibility with prospective play partners. It can also help you pinpoint which foundational elements to build your scene around. This tool is a conversation prompt. To use it, determine how much you enjoy engaging in each category of activities as either a bottom or top (the bottom would be the subject of these actions and the top would be executing them). Use a 1-10 scale with 1 being “not interested” and 10 being “YES!” Let’s say two partners score high on “Given Away.” Go further to ask clarifying questions like “what does that mean to you?” In this example, being given away could mean to another dominant you both know well for an hour of domestic service. Or it could mean to a group of five people for sexual pleasure every Tuesday. Because these categories are broad, ambiguous, and subjective, further negotiation under each is mandatory. The Yes/No/Maybe list below can help you drill down to specific activities that fall under each category for more nuanced negotiation. Kink Yes/No/Maybe List A Yes/No/Maybe list is a kink/sexual inventory checklist designed to aid in self-analysis and/or partner negotiations. You can use it several ways: ● Mark beside each YES (what you want to do), MAYBE (soft limit), or NO (hard limit) and talk through each with your partner. -
An Exploration of Transgender Individuals' Negotiation of Identity Through BDSM Practices
Minnesota State University, Mankato Cornerstone: A Collection of Scholarly and Creative Works for Minnesota State University, Mankato All Graduate Theses, Dissertations, and Other Graduate Theses, Dissertations, and Other Capstone Projects Capstone Projects 2018 Productive Paddles and Productive Power: An Exploration of Transgender Individuals' Negotiation of Identity Through BDSM Practices Riley Zahn Minnesota State University, Mankato Follow this and additional works at: https://cornerstone.lib.mnsu.edu/etds Part of the Gender and Sexuality Commons, Gender, Race, Sexuality, and Ethnicity in Communication Commons, and the Social Control, Law, Crime, and Deviance Commons Recommended Citation Zahn, R. (2018). Productive Paddles and Productive Power: An Exploration of Transgender Individuals' Negotiation of Identity Through BDSM Practices [Master’s thesis, Minnesota State University, Mankato]. Cornerstone: A Collection of Scholarly and Creative Works for Minnesota State University, Mankato. https://cornerstone.lib.mnsu.edu/etds/809/ This Thesis is brought to you for free and open access by the Graduate Theses, Dissertations, and Other Capstone Projects at Cornerstone: A Collection of Scholarly and Creative Works for Minnesota State University, Mankato. It has been accepted for inclusion in All Graduate Theses, Dissertations, and Other Capstone Projects by an authorized administrator of Cornerstone: A Collection of Scholarly and Creative Works for Minnesota State University, Mankato. Productive Paddles and Productive Power: An Exploration of Transgender Individuals’ Negotiation of Identity through BDSM Practices By Riley Zahn A Thesis Submitted in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of Masters of Arts In Communication Studies Minnesota State University, Mankato Mankato, MN April 2018 ii April 25, 2018 Productive Paddles and Productive Power: An Exploration of Transgender Individuals’ Negotiation of Identity through BDSM Practices Riley Zahn This thesis has been examined and approved by the following members of the student’s committee. -
2018 PROGRAM OUTLINE & SCHEDULE Overall
2018 PROGRAM OUTLINE & SCHEDULE Overall Purpose: The purpose of this activity is to enable the learner to define for themselves those things they find appealing, disturbing, and confusing, and to develop an understanding of how this may affect the work that they do. A significant portion of the course will be reflection and group discussion on cultural awareness and attitudes. Participants will be asked to reflect and explore for themselves how their preconceived notions and prior experiences may affect their responses to clients and to process their response to new and different activities they have not been previously exposed to. General OBjectives: 1. Define male and female sexuality and “normal sex” in order to explore our own preconceived notions as well as misconceptions prevalent in media and our environment. 2. Define the most common “dysfunctions” clinicians are likely to encounter with their patients. This session will familiarize clinicians with a variety of dysfunctions, dispel some of the myths associated with them, and help them elicit concerns from patients that may be difficult for patients to discuss. 3. Define masturbation practices and the wide range of activities and stimulation techniques people use for self-pleasure. 4. Explore familiarity and comfort level with the use of erotica/pornography. 5. Identify the wide range of sexual identities. 6. Identify more complex sexual relationships which fall outside the common monogamya based structure. This topic encompasses all sexual orientations and attractions. 7. Identify the realities of sex over 50 8. Identify challenges and resources for the physically and mentally disabled regarding sexuality and sex. 9.