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Volume 37, Number .65 .Founded 1957 II . Monday, August 1-5,1994
. z . , ( . i was a hearty, Little's promotion of commented that he "Hurrah!" Cassidy an DougLittle Receives. liked to make Little . would-have not due to civil Director but could Doug Little ReceivesAssistant of Little's. prornotion: was. a hearty "Hurrah!" Cassidy commented that he Promotion To Assistant would have liked to make Little an Assistant Director but could not due to civil Director Of University Police service guidelines. Cassidyreferred to Little as an "absolutely outstanding law enforcement officer who did a superlative D. Cole By Richard job." Special to Statesman In 1985, the Community Relations Doug Little, who has been with the Team was disbanded and Little was given 'University Police' Department for a promotion to the supervisor level and seventeen years', was promoted to the, went back on patrol. Then in 1990, current position of Assistant'Director for University Police Director, Richard Young, Community Re lations last.week reinstated the Community Relations Team During the past four years., Little has and appointed Little as the supervisor. been the supervisor of the Community Director of Conferences and Special Relations Team. According to Little, "the. Events Ann Forkin reminisced to when the goal of the Community Relations Team, Community Relations Team was recipient of the International Association reinstated. "Remembering to when Rich -of CampusLaw La Enforcement Young brought back the Community Administrators Award, is to educate the Relations Team I thought that community campuscommunity' o n such. topics as relations was extremely important and they personal safety, risk awareness, crime could not have chosen a better person than prevention including (date and' Doug to lead it," she said. "Doug has an acquaintance rape prevention, drug and aattitudeservice. of He realizes that the role for Comml many other DouDULtlee Assistant Director of University Police alcohol risk awareness, and of a Public Safety officer is one of service. community safety issues." Serviceh to the Students,staff,- faculty, Little, in; his efforts to help the administrators and guests ... Whenever I've Community Relations.Team meet this goal, needed him, he has been there." has worked with the team on such projects Little stated that his promotion was . uch assetting up neighborhood watch due to Young, who in Little's words, "has groups in, various bu'ildings on campus, given me the opportunity to jdo my ob ... giving Personal Safet and Awareness talks Rich { Young} f is ' irm believer in ..to groups of faculty , staff and students, empowering his personnel.I will never pu blications for printing all the information forgte him for this as he has been my the. University Police, Department, and mentor." -instituting programs like the University Young, in a letter to the University PoliceCampus Bike Patrol.. community, announcing Little's promotion Dean' of Students Paul Chase said, said, "Good community relations along "Doug has earned this-promotion." After with problem solving policing are critical commenting on the fact'that he had known to the success of today's law enforcement Little for sixteen years Chase stated that Little,' "has'a real talent for community outreach."' Professor of Sociology Norman Goodman, a Distinguished Teaching Professor -and former President. of the University Senate, also commen'ted on Little's understanding on community relations. "It is:good for University Police and'the University as a whole to have someone who is sensitive of the' constituency in a'policy making position within th.e University Police. He unde'rstands the., nature of the University- and the role' of Public Safety in such a university,".said Goodman. Little-joined the University Police Department as an officer in' 1-977. After -being on the force for' three years, Joe Cassidy, former Interim Director of University Police, in conjunction with Little, started. a Community Relations team. It was during this time that Little worked oin such projects as creating a Student VolunteerDorm Patroland Escort, a walk. sservices. Cassidy's reaction to hearing the news 2Little Recieves AMERICA'S FIRST SEX Grad Stud ent . - . ASSAULT HOTLINE OPENS .. : X lf Promlotion America's first-ever services donated by On The W als f0r D( nor ^^: : national0 - ...... sex abuse-- hotline SceneProductions.RAINN begins taking calls today, is being provided as a TRANSPLANT from Front Page PROMOTION from Front Page July 26th. Run by the service to survivors who agencies. In recognition of my commitment to the Washington, DC-bases either cannot reach a rape that he wants. Without the oxygen, it would be difficult importance of these programs, and their expanding role non-profit organization crisis center through a local for him to function since his lungs are- working on 12 on campus, I have reclassified the position of Supervisor RAINN (the Rape, Abuse, call, or do not know that a percent of their normal capacity. "I can't do anything I of the Community Relations'Team to Assistant Director and Incest National local center exists. want without oxygen," he said. When Kihl goes out he of Public Safety for Community Relations." Network), the hotline is Currently, more than 43 carries small tanks of liquid oxygen with him. He receives Young went on to comment on Little, "Doug has been expected to help over percent of the country's the oxygen from a nasal canister. "It looks like I'm a member of this Department'for seventeen years. During 115,000 survivors of 'sexual population is a toll call carrying a knapsack." the last several years, he has worked tirelessly on my behalf assault each year. The toll- away from a crisis center. Saturday, he went-to see The Mask and went to lunch to improve the quality of life on campus, and enhanced free number is: 1-800-656- many of these long- with "three beautiful women." One of the women is the image of our Department. His work has gained the HOPE. distance callers are being afflicted with cystic fibrosis, her mother and a woman Department both local and nationalrecognition." Slated to run around abused by someone in their whose son was the first person to survive with an artificial Little's promotion has been hailed by officers within the clock every day of the' household and therefore are heart until he received-a real one. the University Police due- to the fact that he will be the year, the RAINN hotline unlikely to utilize a service He said that Pittsburgh is not the steel-mill, grimy, onlymember of a six person management team that has automatically routes callers whose number will show unattractive place that it is made out to be. "Pittsburgh is been promoted up through the ranks at Stony Brook. The to the closest of' 341 rape up on their home phone bill. absolutely- marvelous. . . The people are incredibly director and the four other assistant'directors were crisis counseling centers The RAINN hotline marks friendly," he said. recruited from outside the University. around the country.- A the first time that survivors Kihl is also continuing his research that he began here Detective Winston Kerr of University Police, one of trained sexual assault nationwide will have free, for cancer patients. "They-are adventure games for the police officers union (Council 82) representatives, counselor then'answers the confidential access to children to play. They are doing research here (Pittsburgh), commented on Little's promotion, "It's wonderful that call and provides free 'on- counseling all day, every with the psychologist here and the social workers and it someone has moved up from the ranks into management.- the-spot counseling and day. has been coming along quite nicely," he said. Ihope that he will open new avenues of cooperation referrals. Atla-ntic recording "I have been using what I've been developing for between labor and management. He knows both sides of Funded by The artist ToriAmos, a founding cancer patients the strategy and trying to do the same thing, the fence." Atlantic Group and Warner -member of RAINN, chairs but for people that are going to get transplants." It is important to note that assistant directors and the Music Group, with the organization's advisory Kihl expressed enthusiasm and excitement when director are not officers. They are considered advertising and promotion board. Li explaining his involvement in a new experimental study. lung management. Therefore, Little will no longer be a "I will be getting a bone marrow transplant with my lieutenant and will not be in uniform. Little claims-that transplant from this donor, so that when the person dies I- this will not change the way he or the Community will get his lung and Iwill get a portion of his bone marrow Relations Team work. "I am not going to change my spots. infused into my body through IV like a regular blood The success'of the Community Relations Team is due to' transfusion," he said. In it will include "immature T-Cells, What this hopes the fact that we have been out in the publics -eye," said immature stem cells and facilitator cells. Little and he guaranteed that this would not change. to do is create chimera in my body, which will prevent suppressant drugs for Little stated, "I came' to the Department as a young me from having to be on immune body into thinking that officer. Stony Brook has always been very good to me'. I the rest of my life. It will trick my preventing rejection, met my wife Jovanna [Duval] here. She is also a member the new lung is part of my own body, life span." of the University community."' Little said his wife, who so this -isto give me a much longer about his condition works as the'Coagulation Supervisor at the University Kihl said that he is very -positive a successful Medical Center, is working on her second masters here at and seemed confident that he will have my life," he said. Stony Brook, has always been very supportive of him and operation. "I've been really enjoying one understands the his career. "One tends to enjoy life more when and grown to really Little ended by saying, "I have had the good fortune finality. I really enjoy little things to work with the most wonderful people and it has been love eating and spending time with my friends." sure, Kihl's humor isn't lacking. "I'm an honor just to be able to take part as a member of the' One thing for be a bus load of University family. It .is important that the University still waiting. I think that there -isgoing to are going to get into a community knows that the University Police Department long distance Olympic athletes that lungs. Seems to will do whatever possible to protect and-serve. We are tragic accident and I'll get one of their from somebody, it might as also part of the education process because this community me that if it is going to come best,"; he said Li belongs to all- of us.'" ' well come from the
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.1f S 0 A_ IjjI'i - w in1l' ,i- I 'i w ft:l An' -. 1 .i )I1- l1 ''N1:A PIvrA W'1 -4 i?col iC:s ClQ r. 0 1--^3 ! 2"¢H :0PECNS ;:AUcGfUST VEVERYWH ERE 'O 'i -P. L : J 0 : - : e :E : : : j 10.25" X 14" 4 Editorial-d ___a-:__ Don0't Lett ARAf Beco~me a West :Campus dM~onopolly! It's not that we have any-. lems are not corrected in a very plete semi-nutritious meal andI thing particular against ARA, timely manner, it may be that still have enough to do it again it's just that we have- noticed the cynics will prove victorious. in five hours. With ARA, most that the only consistent West First, here is what we at are happy to leave the estab- Campus food- services.not un- Statesman like about Colours lishment fully clothed. As we der their control are Colours compared to ARA. "First, no said earlier, ARA has made an and Sports Complex Conces- matter what the time of morn- effort to lower its prices - a sions. Monopolies are not good ing, noon or night, the employ- feeble effort, but an effort, -formuch of anybody, except the ees of Colours greet their cus- nonetheless. company reaping the profits. tomers with friendly smiles. Among Colors problems are It was only very recently ARA seemingly tends to not care speed of service, the microwave (when Colours.opened) thatARA how their employees treat their system of cooking? and lack of lowered some of its prices in the customers. students' ability to use their Union deli. Pressure came from If your bill comes to $3.03 meal plan. The latter of these student who were fed up with at Colours-, it is likely that the problems may work itself out- the outrageous prices and fair- cashier will check the'"tp cup" with the new universal card at-best quality of the food prod- to see if-there is -three cents to (more on that in September). ucts. Now, ARA has taken over help you out. At ARA,.it is likely -Many can also look by the mi- Stony Snacks and is expanding that you will receive six singles, crowave issue. But, if Colours its base in Roth Quad; 'and it's seven dimes, four nickels and. does not find a way -to improve becoming increasingly apparent seven' penniess. for change for a its service time, the only "way" that students have few vendor ten-dollar.bill.:- . it may find is the one Rainy options left.- At Colours, you are pretty Night House did. Fast and Before Colours opened, many - much guaranteed that you will Friendly: go hand-in-hand, predicted that it would fall-vic- receivef exactly. . . what. youu.v ordered whichever service discovers tim to the same nuismanageent and that the quality will meet that secret first is the one that problems that doomed its prede- or- exceed your expectations. will win the students' favor in cessor, Rainy Night House. Thls. .ARA reminds us -ofhigh schools- the long run. :far,-tha~t'has et happened, but- cafeterias. where -you get what As for Sports Complex-Con- Colours.is young, yet. -theygive you. cessions, 'You haven't experi- Colours has -:many advan-, Finally, what'sg best about enced Stony Brook until you've tages and only, a couple prob- Colours is that the-"average" experienced a- Stony Brook lems.. *However, if those prob- poor student can-afford a com-- Pretzel." IS I-:W III : mg . : ^ je ' ' i :* f : : : i : : ' : - - v w s - ' - s v E v S P ! w S . v P ! s s r 7 v's v XLe~tters 5- : Sl : ^ - - - I We Need Greater University Police Presence Individuality Plus: Try Being Yourselves Dear Mr. Masse: violation of campus rules or the law should If you' ve read the last' letter you've obviously assumed I have dug a social grave for myself, and be thrown off campus immediately and that's 'painstakingly obvious, especially to me. But don't get me My daughter is a recent graduate kept off until a proper hearing is conducted.' wrong, I actually asked for it. I do so'because understanding anything about a person (May 1994) of Stony-Brook University. Any outsider causing a problem should be is about as rare as a three dollar bill. Unfortunately no one has come across one since She attended the University for four years turned over to the county police- money was printed. That's a figurative phrase meaning that if understand someone, you really want to as a full-time student in the Bio-chemistry immediately. especially someone like me, you really have to-learn, you really program and also held a part-time position Each and every student, with no. have to be. patient, you really have to be compassionate as well. Unfortunately it in a campus research lab. Given the exception, should have'the right to enjoy. turns out that no one seems to be really worthy of compassion. amount of time.-she spent on campus I and pursue his or her education and campus Now-a-days it's all look at you, look at me or look at what I have and look at believe she.has a good understanding of social life without fear of crime. Notice what you don't have. I know I don't have much ih the way of what you people. as campus conditions and that is the subject 'normal people,-asyou call yourselves, must be given to all visitors and students I don't have any of those things, and frankly I of my letter. that our campus is policed and the, don't want them.. do- this 'only because I believe it's right. individuality should and I believe that Over the past four years she has told individuals rights protected. triumph over conformity. It's just too bad that there aren't enough me of numerous incidents of crime, against My. daughter will'- continue her individuals in this world, that world being this campus for now, that agAinst the conformists.' could match up individuals'and property.- Many timnes on education and position.. in the science So I say this only in behalf ofmyself, I like me, I'like what her return home she would tell me of department because she has a love of the I have, and I likealso, what I can get later. Because what I can get lateris understanding. people being attacked, threatened- and University. Both her and I share a concern The problem seems to lie, not within people of other races, because I; love them cases of vandalism. My daughter brings for her safety and everyone else's. We must regardless of their race. It seems to be my own race, which-I have'the problem with the Statesman home because she knows I not allow this'university community to The bestupart about this entire situation is I know it's my problem and.I'm the only enjoy reading about the events and-news, become as dangerous as many ofour urban one who can solve it.- Now, I may not have all of those things that you have and that at the Stony Brook campus. Some of your centers. you would want me to have in order to "'feelaccepted."' But, as you may well know, articles report 'on the campus crime individuality does rule because even though we'all are out own person there are some' situation and campus police issues dealing Sincerely, of you out there who seem to need'to haveMother people be a part of you, and that is with these events. George R. Beyer'. unhealthy. Those'of you who read this article and know me, know who you are. All Just recently my daughter told me of I can really. say is that there is no rest for the wicked. And the weak will remain weak. an attack on a young woman in the campus P.S. Perhaps background Now, I know I am a weak person, parking facility and how upset this has in the eyes of all of you, but in the eyes of my information on in-coming students maker and the things that do good by me, I am the strongest guy in the world. So I made many of the young women. on should be part of the admission inay not have your short hair'or your fancy clothes or cars past the-year 1985, but * procedure If a new student has a I have clothes onmy back see, campus. When I visit the campus to give and I can get around on my own when I have to and the my daughter aXride home or visit a staff criminal history, no- matter how. minor, only way I will lose my hair is I grow old. So on this final note I'ask all of you to do member I look around to see if there is' his admission as a student should be meone small favor. Do what you have to do within yourselves and-simply leave me alone. I don't care if yougive police. coverage.' While often:I see a car conditional based on his future conduct. me the dirty looks,-I don't even careif you give me the dirty words, just or-two I have never noticed foot patrol Faculty, students and visitors on our as long as.I am not around when you do it. And also, try being officers. campus must have freedom of movement yourselves. Believe me, take it from me, it's a lotof fun. . Consideration should be made to within the university community without Kendreace! Miller beef-up our campus police with.more foot fear. The campus police have recently -patrols in all- areas that students and the put bike patrols on campus and are to be- public frequent. ,The car patrols should ,commended for this program. The- also increase and be very visibleat all program,- along with"weeding out" the intersections with-in the0campusg trouble and- police c'ausing- individuals and added especially on the wooded walkwayS.in and visibility, will help keep the out of the grounds. Any studentcaught campus, safe. ! - in *I , *A* . * :. 1 3^Sffs?] tO w - {^C, §*., :> so »t** .^ . -_ 6 -ES-~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FF1 l I PETER GABRIEL'S Clea and PresentDanger: Well-Worth the Price of Admission --MIRROR TMAGE: - By Thomas F. Masse Director of Operations (DDO) Robert did read the novel often felt uncomfortable MARTIN PAGE Statesman Editor in Chief Ritter (Henry Czerny)., at the many storyline and character changes. Harrison Ford returns for his'second Cutter and Ritter set up the mission One subtle change occurs in the film's By Mike Kramer appearance in the role of CIA careeruman, which is headed up by a deep cover CIA opening scene. In the book, the Coast Guard Special to Statesman Jack Ryan, in Tom Clancy's Clear and field operative Mr. Clark (Dafoe). Clark cutter's commander is Red Wegener, "the Present Danger. The film, distributed by hand-picks a hard-core Latino-American oldest lieutenant-commander in the Coast In The House Of Stone And Light is the Paramount Pictures, stars Ford, Willem insertion team to infiltrate the Colombian Guard... The Man, the King of Search-and- debut album by Mercury recording artist Dafoe, Ann Archer and James Earl Jones countryside and eliminate cocaine Rescue missions." However, in the movie, Martin Page.. According to Mercury and was released on August 3. processing plants and the drug lords the character's name is changed to DEA Record's press release, ''The album is Page's The story is of Ryan, now the Deputy themselves. agent Fowler (Belita Moreno), and she spiritual odyssey; with its wide screen -scope Director of Intelligence (DDI) for the CIA, For those who h ave not read Clancy's commands the ship that locates the and its. timeless melodies tethered to tribal who lands into a situation where he could novel, the film Clear and Present Danger President's departed friends. Among other rhythms, it is at once ancient and futuristic." end up being the fall guy. His.supervisors isI ajfast-paced thriller that keeps the changes is the appearance' of Ryan in Page has one major shortcoming; he is a have received "unofficial" orders from the audience on the edge of its seats. However, situations in which-he did not appear in the Peter Gabriel wanna-be! President to begin covert operations in the movie is often difficult to follow, there book. Martin Page comes fairly close to The most aggravating change is the intentionally plagiarizing Peter Gabriel's political tone that the movie acquired unique sound and style. As I listened to somewhere down the line. "Clear and Page's "Monkey In My Dreams," I was PresentDangeris a film for the new political instantly reminded of Gabriel's "Shock The era,"9said director Phillip Noyce.- 'This is a Monkey." It is uncanny how the two songs film that asks the question, 'When is it are almost identical! Don't get me wrong, appropriate for this [the United States] the album is great, but only if one is into powerful nation to act and what form should Peter Gabriel. I'm not saying Page is the that action take?"' The film not only asks average no-talent singer, I'm saying. he is the question, but answers it as well. -areally good no-talent singer. Unfortunately, the novel does not ask -The songs are romantic, yet moody and that question and most likely would have emotional, which bring to mind images of -answered it differently. This is indicated watching rain fall against a window. The in the book just previous to the title page title track is an uplifting and almost religious in two quotes: one by Pascal and the other hymn, that tells of the quest for the path of by General Sir John Hackett. Pascal's, the righteousness within one's own "house of shorter of the two, states, "Law, without stone and light," which is the soul. :"Keeper force, is impotent." Of The Flame" is a bouncy reggae type love Outside of the incongruities of the song, however, it had a generic-type quality novel and the film, the experience is that made it uninteresting. I particularly like entirely enjoyable. The action is quick and "In My Room." The song is painful and non-stop. The performances are crisp and honest. It recalls in detail a young boy on target. Best of -all, the characters are hearing an alcoholic father abuse his mother believable. Most enjoyable are the special and vowing, "You won't hit her ever again." riaiiison r-or returns in nis roie as jacK Hyan in lorn ruancy s mnird novei-turned- effects coordinated by the father-son team silver-screen-smash, Clear and Present Danger. I also like "I Was Made For You," which of Joe and Paul Lombardi. The effects are features Phil Collins on percussion. The South America. The mission is to disable being many characters and subplots. so well designed and implemented, that the song is, as the title suggests, a romantic love the Colombian drug cartel's, particularly the Granted, it is difficult to cram a nearly-700- audience hardly realizes that it is viewing song that asks: --"What are these arms for if I one responsible for the deaths of the page novel into a two-hour film, but so many an effect and not actual footage. can't hold you through the nights?" The song President's close friends. details are left out that those not knowing Like its predecessors, The Huntfor Red is beautiful in its poetic promise of love. Ryn'splight is not helped by - in fact, the story missed out on a lot.. For instance, October and Patriot Games, Clear and Being a fan of Peter Gabriel, I-enjoyed it is'the result of -'his boss's (Jones) the significance. of a blue-colored bomb is Present Danger is as good as the genre of an The House Of Stone And Light. ailment. The-, DDI assumes the lost. In the military, blue-colored bombs are intelligence-military thriller gets. Its However, the album had no original sound responsibility of the Director, one for "practice" bombs, not live ordnance; clandestine outside-looking-in omnipotence or style that would give me the urge to run which he'has not prepared himself. He is, however, neither the bomb handlers nor the (much like the CIA itself) and frightening out and buy it. The. only urge I get is the in essence, thrown to the -lions in the pilot that delivers the weapon realize that realism is what keeps this style at the top of one to throw up. "Making this album has National Security Advisor James Cutter the bomb is real - that's covert. the best-seller and box office lists. If one is been a great adventure of self discovery," (Harris Yulin) and the CIA's Deputy .On the other hand, many illing to look past the changes made by says Page. "I've chased away some e director and the producers,Clearand demons and shed my skin...: ." Well, ] ~~~~~ resent Danger, is well-worth, whatever apparently Martin Page shed his skin and rice is charged at the box office. El Peter Gabriel emerged. - Es Studying A Headache? This is a pcrtiCl list of people who may benefit from Cliropractic Care: 1. Hard Studying Students who-get any of the following: stiff necks, headaches, low back pan, shoulder tension. 2. Athletic Students that suffer from the wear and tear of comnpetition, sports injuries, sprains and strains of the neck, low and mid back. 3. Nurses & Doctors who get injured liftng patents. 4. Secretaries & -nitswho ache call over from sitting at desks, typing and telephoning'all day long.- 5. GroKnds le. Construction Workers. Guards &Custodians, who aCs part of their jobs have to put up wit chronic pain and discomfort due to occupational injues and stress. If you are one of these people, then call our office at 751-3067 Ask DR. EISENSTEIN for an appointment for a free consultation. Student Insurance Accepted. Dr. MitchellW. Eisenstein, Chiropractor. Three Village Professional Center - 46 Route 25A I Suite # 9 East Setauket NY. 11X733 (516) 751-3067 Your He'alth Is Or Reptation L- :~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 7 ------ Put These Girts an Hold For NO} w By Joe Fraioli any of the doctors' wishes, and another all, just revolting in that they included a a waste of time and lacked creativity. Each Statesman Managing Editor 976-girl asks for speech therapy so she can lot of profanity and explicit situations. phone call was simply one of the characters do her job better over the phone. Unlike D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F. seemed to promote these calling her victim and making him or her Imagine answering the phone one day D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.'s first album, their new characteristics by stressing the album as extremely angry. In an ideal phone prank to a woman claiming to be a 976-girl who album, such as The Ballbustersor The Jerky wants to give you ten free minutes of phone Boys, the victim does not know that he or sex. Only the joke is on you when she she is being pranked they think it-is an actual finishes her routine and asks how you will call, whereas in this CD, just about every pay the $250 charge for the call. victim could tell that he or she was being This was one of the many pranks pranked. This only reflected the immaturity featured on the album, The 976-Girls - of the album and the obvious lack of time Phonephuct,the D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F. Recording put into its compilation. In fact, it was Company's second album after their debut thrown together so poorly that the word release of The Ballbusters - No Jerkin' Off. "raunchy" was misspelled on the CD cover! Like The Ballbusters, The 976-Girls is a Atlantic Records rated Phonephuctas, phone prank album in which live recordings ''Too racy and too rank to distribute!" But, of telephone conversations are recorded by good things come those who wait. The last pranksters trying to get a few laughs off of labelled track on the CD was the only one their unsuspecting victims. The album is the that actually got me to laugh. It involved first ever all-female phone prank recording, one of the females calling up a locksmith featuring four young women who consist of in tears asking-him to unlock the handcuffs the entire cast for the CD. that her boyfriend had put on her and her Phonephuctis a 15 track album lasting bed. Only the locksmith caught on that it slightly over 35 minutes. One of the was a prank when he asked her how she routines include a jealous 976-girl calling dialed the phone if she was handcuffed. All' a woman and telling her that her boyfriend in all, Phonephuctis only for those looking has been messing around. Another of the for an extremely raw and raunchy form of characters asks for a receptionist job. in a release was extremely boring and poorly "raunchy" and "hardcore." entertainment. doctor's office, adding that she will fulfill organized. The pranks were not funny at The tracks on the comedy album were The Jerky Boys Dial Up Gold Album On a sidenote, The Jerky Boys, the debut album from Select recording group, was certified as a gold record by the RIAA for U.S. sales in-excess of 500,000 units in March. The announcement was made by AWl & cpe 'Atlantic Executive Vice PresidenttGeneral &'C1@'~~~a- Manager Val Azzoli. Produced bh Johnny B. and Lou Gitano, The Jerky Boys was released one year from last March. A collection of 20 candid phone calls made by Jerky Boys Johnny B., Lou Gitano, and Kamal,'the album was an underground phenomenon for many years prior to its official release by Select, an Atlantic-distributed label. Word-of-mouth led to explosive sales for the album, which topped the national new artist charts -a first for a comedy/spoken word collection - and entered the national pop album charts for an extended stay. The Jerky Boys was 1993's biggest-selling comedy album. The Jerky Boys are currently preparing a new album expected to be released soon. They have signed a multi- movie deal with Caravan Pictures, a division of Disney Films, and are in the midst of completing their first film. E Class r gm, . M ije s Stony Brook Womnen's HELP WANTED - L. on . r ^-..:.C or - $16/hr. to start. Send Resumes Available immediately. Call in n.ounn oarviueI. 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Use of Pool, etc. W/D-A/C Tom at 632-6479. \D I .Ii,, I , I 1, I2SKR nHIllflT mR iranmnlfln Klsm- nr^tic! rr nc ttrtorrin m TA/t I ^k 11l SV Ul111 a I IV VIU3 11 I11 111/ oP Lers Change America's Past-time . .~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Dean of the Division of Athletics Views expressed in this column are those of the author only and not necessarily toward the those of The Stony Brook Statesman, its Editorial Board, its staff or its advertisers. Chance to Enter Conference, the next day. It's a really expensive harbors no hard feelings thing between changing the airlines, the NYCAC or the people that originally extra day in the hotel, feeding the voted against the Brook. "They were For the basseball fan, it's heading out to the former Patriot TV Deal, Two Stadiums players." Laskowski also said that concerned that we were going Division unlucky thirteen, ffor it has been 13 Field to engage in rootin' for the Possible says Laskowski basketball teams traveling by van in the I and that we wouldn't be there for years since the la ist Major League 'Wolves. A hot dog and a soda and winter to New England could be long," he said. "They were also Baseball (MLB) sltrike - well. . 13 1,500 howling fans is all I need every problematic. concerned about the size of our school years since the la1st one to which I week to get me through By Thomas F. Masse Statesman Editor in Chief lY&UAealllIn& L.;%ILVI III However, there are distinct and the fact that we have good paid any attentioni. Unfortunately, Thanksgiving. After having 'two applications advantages just in joining a conference, facilities." the owners and thie players haven't And, of course, on Sunday I rejected by the New York Collegiate no matter what their acronym. Laskowski likened the situation learned much sincev-then. Even more can't wait to make lunch, call up Athletic Conference (NYCAC), Stony unfortunate is thatt neither have the somefriends and tune into NBC, Fox Scheduling is much easier for.a to that of Notre Dame and the Big East. fans. and ESPN for some hard-core, bone- Brook now may have a choice of two conference-affiliated program than it "If you're struggling athletically, to At the time of the '81 strike, I crunching gridiron glory. athletic conferences to enter. The news is for an independent program. Also, add another strong team could have its was 13 years old. I was playing in I suppose eventually all the came in a series of bizarre twists over publicity-wise, affiliated programs are drawbacks. I think the Big East must the Little other major sports the last week, but no one in -the more likely to receive more frequent have considered this when they just let Leagues. I had will go on strike Division of Physical Education and coverage. With the NECC, Stony Notre Dame in. . . the Big East was four or five SCARLET AlND GRAY again, since Athletics is complaining. Brook could look forward to a lot of willing to look past that in order to get thousand I- ^- ^ basebal has set t he The NYCAC rejected Stony press, but in small papers with small another very attractive team. Maybe baseball cards. Thomas IMasse precedent and a Brook's application twice this past circulations. On Long Island, the in Division II that's not the priority, but Being from bad example; and spring. According to the Dean.of the Brook would receive limited coverage that's okay." northeastern we'll have to Division, Richard Laskowski, an (though probably more than it does Stadium Fever Massachusetts, the Red Sox were my choose another past-time - something athletic director from the New England - currently) in a paper that is nationally The New York State budget team. My favorite player was Carl like tropical forest burning or assault Collegiate Conference (NECC) read. includes $3.6 million for the Yazstremski. But then everything weapon toting., inquired Stony Brook's Director of Furthermore, there are construction of a new football/ changed. Where have you gone Joe Men's Athletics, Sam Kornhauser, if disadvantages to each conference. lacrosse/track stadium on the Stony All my "heroes" went on strike. DiMaggio? the Brook would consider the more Laskowski has noted the frequent Brook campus. Laskowski is pushing Sure, we as adults "understand" Waiting for the 'Wolves northern conference. Kornhauser- changing of athletic directors and to have the new structure built on top all of the monetary reasons behind On the brighter side of things, passed on the information to coaches that takes place in the of the current track, which is in this, but do the kids? Do the kids, many people are gearing up for Stony Laskowski who promptly called the NYCAC, something he would choose desperate need of renovation. Since who play only for the love of the Brook's upcoming fall athletic NECC Commissioner, Bill Moore. to avoid. On the other hand, the NECC the track is hardly used - Stony Brook game, realize what a bunch of schedule. The football team rolls into "I called my friend at Dowling, could be attractive to prospective has not hosted an intercollegiate track money-grubbing, uncaring training camp this week. After Robert Dranoff, because they're in athletes, even over Stony Brook. "A meet in years - it would make-sense-to degenerates their "heroes" are? posting their best-ever NCAA record NYCAC," said Laskowski. "I said, lot of students would like to get off build there than at the present football For myself, I quit playing last season and losing only seven 'I'm going to begin formal talks with Long Island. They see some of these field. Lacrosse and football will baseball after the '81 season. I sold players, this year looks like it may the NECC conference." Two days schools [in the NECC]. It would be continue to operate business as usual, all my cards for a ridiculously low be the one that puts the Brook and later, Newsday staff writer Steve their advantage to play against us," but the tracksters will need to relocate price. And I have seen only four the 'Wolves on the map. Marcus called Laskowski and Laskowski said. -"I don't know how for up to two years. MLB games since - two of them live As for the other fall sports, most informed the Dean that the NYCAC many students want to leave New But, that's just the beginning of on free tickets. The other two were fans are hoping to see the men's developed interest in the Seawolves, England to come to us at this time." some potentially good news. Suffolk World Series games, which I soccer team repeat their conference- even after the two rejections. - Laskowski is scheduled to meet Life recently reported that Suffolk winning watched because it's my job. season, the women's soccer There are a number of reasons for with the NECC directors on August 25. County legislators, led by Donald team to improve and come into their Much has changed since the each conference's interest. For the He will deliver a formal presentation BIydenburgh (R-Hauppauge), are own in Division I. The women's '81 strike. Players, umpires and NECC, adding Stony Brook means and obtain as much information as looking into building a major stadium tennis team to continue its winning referees of every major sport have adding a Long Island university and possible. He will also try to obtain the in the county. The stadium, which ,gone on strike. Many ways, and the University's cross- of us have expanding its already large recruiting results of a NYCAC mailing which is legislators hope to house a Major grown used to it; however, I feel country squad to run into the Stony base. It also means adding a school assumed to read, in essence, "Stony League Baseball franchise or a that that in itself is a very sad Brook record books. with some of the'best facilities in the Brook has the opportunity to go to National Football League team, is commentary on our society. How Did I mention the volleyball region, especially now that funding for another league. If we want them to likely to be a domed-type, possibly can a person who works nine team? I realize that the loss of a few a new stadium has been approved. For stay, we better consider it as soon as retractable., Laskowski expressed months a year and "earns? seven key players has set you back, but the NYCAC, it appears that the interest possible." When Laskowski has all the interest in finding out more. "I would figures go on strike? don't let that discourage you. Reach is more in keeping the NECC off Long information he can secure, he will like to talk to whoever it is.. . about Yeah, I've heard the argument, higher than you' ve ever tried, and the Island than in accepting the school for discuss the pros and cons with the possibility of bringing that stadium "If the owners weren't stupid enough NCAA Tournament will once again its own sake. Kornhauser, Sandy Weeden (the to Stony Brook," he said. "I think that to pay them, they wouldn't be-asking be within your grasp. As far as Stony Brook is Director of Women's Athletics) and would be a great asset." for it." Then again, if the fans A TV deal. A new stadium. A concerned, either joining either incoming University President, Laskowski said that there may be weren't stupid enough to pay $30 for conference to call home. Among Dr., conference is a plus. "There are some a ticket, the owners wouldn't pay the many others, just three more reasons Shirley Strum Kenny. Only after a chance that land by University very good schools [in the NECC], both players that much. We could argue to bleed Scarlet and Gray. meeting with them will he make a final Medical Center may be attractive for academically and athletically," said all day as to who's at fault, but what's decision. Of course, there is no such a plan. If such a plan is plausible, the point? These days not a damnt soul prays Laskowski. Many of them "are teams guarantee that both or either conference Laskowski asserts that it would be a Here's the answer: forget about And there is no faith that in basketball in Division II are very will extend an invitation, but "tremendous, tremendous boost to the baseball. Refuse to mourn the loss 'Cause there's nothing to believe in. outstanding teams." The NECC, Laskowski remains positive.- "I think University" and to the local high of the Boys of Summer. Dissolve from "Blonde Over Blue" by Billy which covers most of New England there's a very good possibility that we schools, which would likely be able to Major League Baseball and leave the Joel and now New York with the recent will have at least one to go with," he use the facility periodically. game (after all, it is just a game) to addition of SUNY at Albany, also said. "If it's only one, then I'm going SportsChannel Still Interested those who love it for the sake of the To MLB players: appears to be more stable, financially. to take that... I don't think we're going Solidifying a -position in a sport: the kids. (Sing to "Take Me Out to the As a result of their athletic success, -the to have a vote. I think it's a done deal conference will add to Stony Brook's Here is part two of the answer: Ballgame) NECC received more NCAA post- then." likelihood of finalizing a TV deal with let's change America's past-time. Take me out to the backyard. season money ($172,000) than any Laskowski said he will not submit New York SportsChannel. The Let's change it to football orU Summer just won't be the same. other Division II conference in the a formal application until the decision Division is tentatively planning to deal basketball - some sport in which we Bring me a soft drink and a paper- country. is-final. "I wasn't going to re-apply for five televised events: September can win a gold medal. back. On the other hand, the NYCAC [to the NYCAC] anymore because it 27, women's soccer versus Hofstra; In fact, let's make it football. I don't care if you ever come back! is much more convenient and less was an embarrassment to me and the October 15, football versus Norwich No where else in the world do they Now, it's root, root, rootfor the other expensive. "With NYCAC, there are University," said Laskowski. "The (Homecoming); and three spring ,play football the way we do. The sports, a lot of local schools, the furthest one understanding [with the NECC] is that lacrosse dates, including games against World League was a joke. Football 'Cause we still don't know who's to obviously is Philadelphia Textile," said if they don't want us, then we would North Carolina, Rutgers and one other is truly and purely American. blame. 'Laskowski. "Baseball to me is a never have applied. And if we go team. When it's Autumn anrd it's So, it's one. . . two . . . problem when you do series," he somewhere else, we don't embarrass "We have to get the word out," fnr a %v,,,eVnA Saturday, there's nothing like Well. . . two strikes: you're out! r-nntiniifMuniIunucu. "Vniiuu uravci trawa1 lur a weeKenu them either." said Laskowski. "This deal is going donning a couple of sweatshirts and At the old ballgame. L series, you get rained out, you stay over Finally, Laskowski said that he to throw us into the limelight." O