FIGLEAF issue #2, 2021
· news · opinions · recipes · stories · reviews · follow us on instagram @hhhsfigleaf Meet the Figleaf team Hurworth; DiscoPedersen MediaSocial Specialists: Social MediaSocial Manager: Pringle Amazing Artists: Directors:Art Krysta Smith;Quinn Williams Lawrie; Fern Pulvirenti; NinaSchafer; EdenSeedsman; Dixon-Dowd; Sean Hughes; Isabella Jones; Isabella Extraordinary Writers: Chief Sub-Editor: Features Editor: Deputy Editors Editor: Amelia Yoshida EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT Maxwell Patrick and Emmy Woods ZeynepErdogmusand LilySarzentich Cover by art Paige Diamond SOCIAL MEDIA SOCIAL TEAM Isabelle Baker Paige Diamond; Ryan Kimpton; Jasper ART DEPARTMENT Amber Szucs EDITORS Aidan Petersen Aaryash Bharadwaj; Natasha Sage Brophy; Sammy Contents
5 Features
20 Reviews
28 Comics
30 Stories
By Jasper Pringle MAGAZINE
Hi there, my name is Amelia Yoshida That’s why I urge you to step out of your and I am the editor of Hunters Hill High comfort zone and try something new. i there, my name is Amelia interests, values and creativity with the School’s studentYoshida newspaper, and I am the the editor Figleaf. schoolWhether community. that be dying your hair a crazy The objectiveof Hunters of the FigleafHill High is toSchool’s create colour or joining the debate team. It might That’s why I urge you to step out of your stories thatstudent entertain newspaper, and educate the Figleaf. the seem intimidating and scary at first but comfort zone and try something new. HThecommunity objective of of the HHHS. Figleaf We is value to create equality, honestly, you’re never gonna know if you’ll Whether that be dying your hair a crazy storiesindividuality that entertain and representation. and educate the hate it or not unless you actually try it. colour or joining the debate team. It might communityBecoming of the HHHS. editor We of valuethe Figleaf equality, had I once saw the editor role as something seem intimidating and scary at first but individualityalways been and something representation. I never Becoming thought I that I wasn’t suited for but of course, how honestly, you’re never gonna know if you’ll thehad editor the ofguts the to Figleaf do. This had year, always I finally been found would I have known that if I hadn’t even hate it or not unless you actually try it. I once somethingthe courage I never to step thought outside I had of mythe comfortguts tried it yet. So, my advice for this wintery saw the editor role as something that I wasn’t to zonedo. This and year, try something I finally found new. theAs thecourage editor, season is to go for it! The only thing suited for but of course, how would I have to I’mstep extremely outside of proud my comfort of what zone the andFigleaf try stopping you is yourself. known that if I hadn’t even tried it yet. So, somethinghas become. new. The As the Figleaf editor, is aI’m fantastic extremely my advice for this wintery season is to go for proudway ofto whatshare the your Figleaf interests, has become. values and it! The only thing stopping you is yourself. Thecreativity Figleaf iswith a fantastic the school way community. to share your EDITOR'S LETTER
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Race
In the first week of Term 2, we successfully held our 2021 Cross Country Carnival. Lily Sarzentich was at the finish line and togot some the of the finish winners' thoughts about the big race.
My opinion of the race My thoughts on the set up itself... "It's fun, when you of the track... "It was fun!" aren't feeling like you're Will Coleman, winner of dying." Lucas Manefield, the 17+ Boys race winner of the 16-year-old Boys race
My advice to future My opinion of the race racers... "Give everything itself... “I enjoyed it!” Cilla a try. If you don't try, then Williams, winner of the you don't know." Mr Law, 13-year-old Girls race participant in the 17+ Boys race
The highlight of my day was... "Getting to be the bear-y official Cross Country paw-tographer!" Hunter the HHHS Bear
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Unpacking
diet culture
Nina Schafer shines a spotlight on the dangers of diet culture. Trigger warning: This article contains senstitive information about disordered eating.
ince the early 1900s, dieting trend for centuries (who knows why), but it’s has become a normal practise completely absurd to think changing the way throughout the world. Only now, you eat will completely transform you. The people have finally begun to crack most that you get out of a diet is unneeded Sdown on the ridiculous reality of diet culture food guilt and malnourishment. The lies of and its effects on physical and mental health. ‘willpower’ and ‘holding back’ from ‘unsafe’ So just how damaging is it? foods are simply a result of people denying their bodies of what they need. The cycle of 95% of diets fail, and this just goes to show restricting food groups or calories ingested how unrealistic they are. Yet still, humanity leads to a potential cycle of bingeing and forces ‘magic milkshakes’ down their purging, which is when an individual ingests throats and cuts out entire food groups for an abnormally large amount of food in one the sake of figure. Body types have been a
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sitting, feels guilty about it, and tries to Completely trying to avoid processed foods expel the effects of the food by either isn’t a healthy idea either though, because forced vomiting or copious exercise. Is this you should be able to enjoy food without supposed to be healthier than just listening feeling guilt. to your body for what it needs when it For many women, the male gaze can needs it? Though avid dieters may avoid be a big factor in their decision to join the truth, calories are really just a way of in on diets. Female fashion trends have measuring energy, and the big stress about been dictated for centuries by how they them was only introduced to make weight will appear to the heteronormative dating loss and vanity companies more money. world, or ‘courting’ back in the day. The market wants us, the consumer, to Magazines and tabloid trash pick out ‘flaws’ feel bad about ourselves so that we buy in celebrities, which form the ideals in their products. youngsters next to the coffee table and Let's talk about different diets. For create unconscious ideals to the eyes of starters, intermittent fasting. This is women everywhere that they are defined fasting for long periods of time during by cellulite and post pregnancy bodies- a the day before eating, supposedly cutting perfectly normal part of life. No matter calories and therefore promoting weight where we tread, diet culture pokes at us. loss. This diet claims to be healthy, but But look at how ‘perfection’ changes in really it’s just restrictive eating in disguise, time. The 1920s, said streamlined and which is a behaviour associated with and petite figures; 1950s praised hourglass, which can lead to anorexia. 2000s wanted muscles; 2010 says curves and if you go as far back as ancient Greece, Next is keto, a high fat, low carb diet. trends scream CURVIER. Ths is why trends This diet is used to treat epilepsy in are essentially ridiculous and should be children, and is now highly popular among completely ignored. As long as your body adults for weight loss, which isn’t what can function like bodies are supposed to, it’s meant to be for. Carbohydrates are the there is no problem. Love yourself and go body’s main source of energy, and without, eat the last biscuit in the pack. individuals may experience constipation, lethargy and muscle cramps. This also By Nina Schafer makes it more difficult to get fibre, which is vital for long term health. Cutting out major food groups never leads to good, and these fad diets really just lead to insecurity surrounding food and body. Sure you shouldn’t overeat processed sugar and saturated fats, but you shouldn’t shun the natural fats and sugars present in complex carbs and plant based foods.
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"My big break" Zenep Erdogmus shares how she learned to stop procrastinating and seize the chance to participate in a project with the National Institute of Dramatic Arts (NIDA).
t the end of 2020, my mother in the drama company, but the audition showed me a picture from the sounded fun, so I figured I would give it a school facebook; an ad for the go. So I did. My two monologues included drama company, a collaborating the phrases ‘lung disease’, ‘is that a gun?’, projectA of both the ArtsUnit and National ‘scam a few rich idiots’ and ‘no, Riley, that Institute of Dramatic Arts (NIDA). There was is not edible’. That sentence doesn’t add a three part audition, which entailed two much to the article, but it’s important written and filmed monologues and writing to me that you know that. Anyway, I a one-page script. wrote both monologues ahead of time, however, there is a reason I claim the title I wasn’t even sure how interested I was
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‘master procrastinator’, as I completed my with a set and costumes at the location. endorsement sheet and filmed both my There, we even got our own dressing room, monologues, submitting them the day of the with a mirror and lights for each of us! In the deadline. end, we performed 8 shows over the course of 3 days. Our first show, cast interviews and Somehow, I got in. We first began our the script will all be made publicly available process at Lewisham Public School. The play by the end of 2021, and also be used as an was completely original, so my team had to educational resource. actually compose the entire thing. The target audience was 5 to 7 year olds, but with such This process; the audition, the writing, great directors and fellow actors, it was easy the acting, all of it, has been a magical to create our play, ‘Tales of the Wild Bush’. experience, and I recommend that you audition for the company next year. I know We changed our location to NIDA that I certainly will. afterwards, and wow, that was one large, intimidating building. We began working By Zeynep Erdogmus
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take two!
Fern Pulvirenti and Amelia Yoshida get the inside story on how (and why) Mr Kennedy and Mr Pickles switched from acting and banking to careers in the classroom.
hy would someone want to question. But we needed more evidence, and be a teacher? This question luckily we had a lot more teachers to pester. has been on our mind a lot. In this issue, we continue our case Last issue we began our study on the wonderful past careers of Winvestigation into this very question and the our teachers at this school. We begin with answers were varied. From family influence Mr Kennedy, the Big K, the school’s own to good will, passion to creating a better Hollywood star (basically), and his rise future, we had a pretty solid lead into our through the theatrical ranks to education.
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What was your past career? gave us a short and sweet reply. I was an actor, professionally, from 1995 to What was your past career? 2012. First career was with WESTPAC the Bank What did you want to be when you were on a cadetship. Second career was teaching younger? in Western Australia. Third career was a partnership business in mortgage broker. When I was 10 I wanted to be a cop, or Fourth Career was return to teaching whatever, because I had an action figure. When I was 15 I found bands and theatre. What did you want to be when you were I either wanted to be a musician, rockstar, younger? or a Hollywood star. Theatre in its nature Professional AFL Footballer. Own my own is collaborative, you can never do it alone. business You need at least an audience member. Why did you become a teacher? I started with musicals, then when I went to university I did straight dramatic plays. The TAS teachers were the coolest teachers After university I was picked up by a street- at my school. I won an HSC award for theatre company, Chrome, and did street- woodwork theatre for eight years. After that, my wife The answer is clear to our question: Why and I moved to America, and I did a lot of Shakespeare productions. I studied clown Would Someone Want To Be A Teacher? It differs between peoples. Their own in Russia for six weeks experiences influence their road to Why did you become a teacher? teaching, but it’s pretty obvious most do it out of good will for creating a better I shouldn’t say this as a teacher, but I was a environment for teenagers to grow up in. terrible, terrible student. I failed my HSC. I only got into university because of my By Fern Pulvirenti and Amelia Yoshida audition. But once I got into university, it really clicked. I was like ohh that’s how you do research! I did lots of theatre education and also wrote a three hour clowning course. I wasn’t finding theatre as exciting anymore so, get ready for it, here’s the quote, I went from entertainment to edu- tainment. The transition to teaching from theatre was very gradual. But I enjoy education. Maybe that will change one day. After interrogating Mr Kennedy. we continued our investigation with Mr Pickles. TAS teacher extraordinaire, who
11 MAGAZINE let's talk about periods
Isabelle Baker shines a spotlight on period symptoms, products and solutions.
Common PMS (premenstrual syndrome) How long does a period last? symptoms The menstrual (period) cycle is different • Cramps (pain in your lower abdomen, for every woman although most women have back or thighs) periods that last between 3-5 days. A period lasting from anywhere for two to eight days • Bloating (when your stomach feels is also considered to be normal. The average swollen) female gets her period around age 12 but you • Breakouts (getting pimples) can get your first period between 10 and 15 years old. There is no right or wrong age for • Sore or tender breasts (pain in your a female to get her period. It is completely breasts or chest) normal to get your period earlier or later • Mood swings (when your emotions than others. change quickly or you Which products can I use? • feel upset, angry or anxious) The go-to product for your first period or • Feeling tired (or maybe I am just always even your first year of periods is the pad. tired…) There are many different kinds of pads you can buy and it may take a few tries to figure out one you like and are comfortable with.
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If you need some more advice, ask a female deal with it as best as possible.) in your household or look online yourself if Now, for tampons, change them every 4-6 you're not comfortable talking about it. The hours. It may be okay if you accidentally second product you can use is a tampon. A leave it longer but it's best not to because tampon may seem a little more advanced it can lead to infections or possibly TSS. and a bit scarier but it is just as easy to use. TSS is toxic shock syndrome and it is the It is great for swimming and for sport while complication of certain types of bacterial you're on your period. infections. This may sound a little scary but When should I change products? luckily it is quite rare. For pads, it’s best to change them every Now lastly, wearing pads or tampons 4 hours. However, if your period is quite at night! If you want to sleep through the heavy, changing it more frequently is night, wear pads. However, if you don't mind best to keep up good hygiene and prevent waking up every few hours, you can happily any bad odors. This is especially good for use tampons. Now just a heads up, leaks may playing sports at school to also prevent any occur during the night. Be prepared to wash accidental leaks. When you change, use the any clothes or sheets when you wake up. sanitary bins that are provided for you in the You’ll learn more as you go. Good luck! bathroom stalls. (I know that sometimes the By Isabelle Baker bathrooms are quite dirty but we just need to
13 MAGAZINE INSIDE yelling dolls
Take a look at "Yelling Dolls"; the brainchild of four talented Year 10 students.
e are an independent feminist influence people to recognise these matters zine that focuses primarily and take action to help end or at least reduce on the Riot Grrrl movement inequality within society. Many people from the 1990s. A zine is a blindly follow these unequal ideas that Wmini-magazine that originated from sci-fi society has ingrained into us, but Yelling lovers, but it gained popularity in the ‘60s Dolls aims to assist people in fighting against and ‘70s in the Punk scene to spread political the system. Our zine consists of music, art messages. Our zine raises awareness on and information on the movement and gender inequality issues as well as other politics. By Issy, Mila, Natasha and Cat relevant political problems. We hope to
14 MAGAZINE Submissions wanted!
Have an amazing news article; opinion piece; story; poem or artwork you'd like to have printed in the "Figleaf"? Send submissions to Ms Lake at [email protected]. edu.au. (Submissions can be printed anonymously.)
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TREAT YOURSELF: food styling and photography by fern pulvirenti and amelia yoshida and amelia yoshida fern pulvirenti food styling and photography by Mini Rice Krispy Treats
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Fern Pulvirenti and Amelia Yoshida share three delicious (and deliciously easy) ways to cook Mini Rice Krispy treats!
ough day at school, champ? We’ve MOUTH-WATERING MINT KRISP all been there. When you come Ingredients: home after a long, gruelling day at school sometimes all you want to 1 packet of marshmallows Tdo is stuff your face with sweets. Here’s our favourite after school comfort food. Easy 3 tablespoons of butter and sugary sweet, Rice Krispy treats send all 6 cups rice bubbles your worries away and land you on a sugary cloud of bliss. Best of all you can make them 1 teaspoon mint extract any flavour you want! These are our personal Half a block of white chocolate favourites and how to make them! Treat Yourself, to Mini Rice Krispy treats. Directions:
THE CLASSIC 1. In a saucepan melt the butter on low heat. Add the marshmallows and stir till well Ingredients: combined and melted. 1 packet of marshmallows 2. Add 1 teaspoon of mint extract and stir the 3 tablespoons of butter mixture. 6 cups rice bubbles 3. Take the pot off the heat and add rice bubbles to the mixture. Stir until well coated. 4. Roll the Rice Krispies into spherical Directions: shapes and let them cool. 1. In a saucepan melt the butter on low heat. 5. Temper the white chocolate by double- Add the marshmallows and stir till well boiling half of one block. combined and melted. 6. Dip the Rice Krispies into the chocolate. 2. Take the pot off the heat and add rice bubbles to the mixture. Stir until well coated. 7. Let cool on a cooling rack and enjoy! 3. Roll the Rice Krispies into spherical shapes and let them cool.
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HONEYBEE CRUNCH combined and melted. Ingredients: 2. Add ¼ cup cocoa powder and stir into the melted marshmallows. 1 packet of marshmallows 3. Take the pot off the heat and add rice 3 tablespoons of butter bubbles to the mixture. Stir until well coated. 6 cups rice bubbles 4. Roll the Rice Krispies into spherical 1/4 cup cocoa powder shapes and let them cool Half a block of milk chocolate 5. Temper the milk chocolate by double boiling half of one block. Honeycomb 6. Dip the Rice Krispies into the chocolate. 7. Crush up honeycomb pieces in a zip-lock Directions: bag and roll the Rice Krispies in the broken 1. In a saucepan melt the butter on low heat. pieces. Add the marshmallows and stir till well 8. Let cool on a cooling rack and enjoy!
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classic game review: batman: arkham series
Quinn Williams goes back to where it all began with this retrospective of the "Batman: Arkham" series.
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or over a decade the "Batman: in a church sending him away to Arkham Arkham" series has been the Asylum which links it to the next game go-to DC games for fans to in the series. A disgruntled Wayne Tech play. Over the years, the games employee (who will eventually become Fhave been constantly adapting to fit the the Riddler), Edward Nigma, creates a gaming market at the time. The first game secret lab and gets private information "Batman: Arkham Asylum" (2009) was the about gothams high society threatening to first HD DC game to be popular and thus expose all their secrets. He does this under spawned an entire series. Later in 2021, the pseudonym "Enigma". "Gotham Knights" will release but will Between Batman: Arkham Origins and sadly not follow the Arkham story. So to Batman: Arkham Asylum honour my favourite DC game series this is a look back on "Arkham". This will feature In the time between each of these some spoilers but this is the storyline of games, the Joker romances Dr. Harleen "Arkham". Unlike some games, all of the Quinzel who will eventually become his "Arkham" stories fit into one narrative accomplice Harley Quinn. Additionally, Dr. without alternate worlds in play. However Penelope Young experiments on the effects there was a prequel, "Arkham Origins", of venom eventually creating a new fluid: which is where we start our story: “TITAN” Batman: Arkham Origins Batman: Arkham Asylum The first "Arkham" game chronologically The second Batman game begins with Batman attempting to arrest chronologically keeps Batman in the Killercroc, a half crocodile member of his confines of Arkham Asylum after the rogues gallery. This serves as the player's Joker performed a coup, taking control of tutorial for gameplay. Once beaten the everything. As far as side plots, there aren’t GCPD (Gotham City Police Department) as many as the later games in the series. swarm over Batman and Killercroc forcing There are, however, some fun minigames the player (as Batman) to escape quickly. featuring Scarecrow who puts the player Once back at the Batcave, Alfred informs in a nightmaric trance. After freeing some him that he is currently being hunted by of the staff and defeating some other more the best hitmen money can buy. Batman minor characters, the player prepares to learns that the person who payed them to face off against Joker. When Batman wins kill him is Black Mask, another member he injects himself with an overdose of of the rogues gallery. He is then shocked Titan, making him a giant Joker monster to learn that Black Mask has been killed in which is STILL defeated by Batman. This his apartment, but through some detective result in the Joker being in a critical state work he finds a new villain: “The Joker”. as his own blood kills him After hunting down the people hunting Between Batman: Arkham Asylum and him, he has a final standoff with the Joker Batman: Arkham City
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Foreseeing his imminent demise, Joker who narrowly escapes. Finally confronting sends vials of his blood to people as blood Joker, he drinks his and offers the other to donors to make them go crazy and become Joker. But, he gets paranoid and slaps it out his successors. Hugo Strange gains funding of Batman's hands. As the Joker realises his for his project and plans to have his walls mistake, he tries to lick it up but realises up by the following year it’s futile as he dies in Batman's arms. The normally strong and silent Batman shares Batman: Arkham City a moment in which he says,“You know In this Batman outing, the player (as what’s really funny? Even after everything Bruce Wayne) wakes up inside a dark you done I was still going to help you.” room in ‘Arkham City’; an experiment The Joker's reply? “That actually is pretty by Dr. Hugo Strange allegedly to see how funny!” Throughout this, Edward Nigma criminals would act when given their finally takes on the name of the Riddler, own city. In actuality Strange's goal is to leaving puzzles and riddles for Batman and covertly kill all who opposed him to gain holding people hostage until he manages more power. Once out of the loading bay to solve them. for the criminals, Bruce suits up to locate Between Batman: Arkham City and Joker, knowing that he is up to no good. Batman: Arkham Knight Joker gets the jump on him, injecting him with his blood in an attempt to get Before the last "Arkham" game to date Batman to get the cure for him. This works Scarecrow gets a new toxin in order; and Batman sets off to find the liquid Joker’s blood starts infecting and changing from a lazarus pit to save them both from people and the Arkham Knight’s army imminent death. On his way, he finds out grows larger. about mysterious "Protocol 10" and various Batman: Arkham Knight criminals who are gaining followers and gangs such as Two Face, Penguin and of The last game in the Batman series opens course, Joker (through the work of Harley on the horrifying sight of a dead Joker in Quinn). After confronting Dr. Strange, a crematorium. By pressing the trigger taking down several gangs and stopping button, we start the flames to signify the numerous political assassinations, he finds final death of Batman's main antagonist the lazarus juice and even “befriends” Talia in the Arkham games. The main plot, Al Ghul, the daughter of Ra's Al Ghul, who however, follows Batman trying to take controls the lazarus pits. When he brings down Scarecrow who is unleashing his two vials of the fluid to Joker, Talia sees an new toxin with the power to drive people opening and attempts to kill Joker. Sadly, insane. This is revealed to be funded by the however, this was a part of his plan as the Arkham Knight who is trying to show that "Joker" that they were seeing was actually Batman is ultimately weak. This is the first an illusion of Clayface who immediately Arkham game to feature the Batmobile kills Talia and attempts to kill Batman, as a way to get around the city quickly.
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The Arkham Knight kidnaps Oracle (AKA Barbara Gordon) and, after several long fights, the Joker takes control of Batman's brain. The Arkham Knight is revealed to be the presumed dead ex-Robin Jason My rankings Todd, who joins Batman and takes on the moniker Red Hood. In this game, there 1. For number one, I am (perhaps are a large number of side quests like one surprisingly) choosing Arkham Origins. about Azrael, Man Bat and Firefly, but I think that Arkham Origins has the the main one is about the Riddler who best balance between simple plot but has captured Catwoman and is making interesting game mechanics. Batman solve riddles to free her. After the main missions are done, Batman enacts 2. Number two is Arkham Asylum the Knightfall protocol which supposedly because of its originality. kills Batman and Bruce Wayne. Since there 3. Arkham Knight for the most interesting are no known sequels on the table the game mechanics but a lacklustre story. question of whether the caped crusader and his alter ego is still alive may remain 4. Arkham City because I couldn't really unanswered. understand a lot of what was going on. Final thoughts I really do like the" Arkham" games. They 9/10 are interesting but also fun even if you By Quinn Williams don’t like batman. The predator missions have high replayability and the designs all look close to the source material. If you want to play a Batman game you could do far worse than this series.
23 MAGAZINE Resident evil 8: a generous critique
Sean Hughes faces off with the undead to bring you his brutally honest review of "Resident Evil 8".
esident Evil" has been a very odd and fans alike. (I digress, just keep that in experience for me. It contains mind.) some of my favourite games, and Anyways, Ethan is killed barely an hour some of my most hated. This new in, but he is revived by the mutamycete Rgame is no exception, and to make this a (essentially a bunch of fungus). Then Ethan challenge I will attempt to never mention explores the main house being continually the height of Lady Alcina Dimitrescu chased by Jack Baker, one of the deranged (pronounced dom-ee-tresc), the first of the residents. An evil resident you could say. four lords Ethan fights. Now. a quick plot Ethan makes it outside, explores a bit, fights synopsis of "Resident Evil 7". In "Resi 7", we Jack’s wife who has that thing (if you’ve play Ethan Winters, a bland character with a played the game you’ll know what I mean) bland personality and a bland motive. Thing and then solve some puzzles, fight Jack is, he was designed to be bland, so the player again and save Ethan’s wife. There, those could project themselves onto him. Alas, it are basically the main, important events. failed and whilst the game was good, Ethan’s Anyways, onto "Resident Evil 8". character was widely panned by both critics
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So, "Resi 8" starts with Ethan in a house, the story. a nice house. He’s with his wife Mia from Anyways, back to this section. It ends the last game, and now they have a little up being far shorter than many expected, baby who they plan on traumatising with especially given how important Dimitrescu eastern European horror stories. It’s all was in the marketing, although I think nice, Ethan tucks the baby in and then we all know why that was. The section bam! Chris Redfield comes to continue on ends very quickly if you have a deadline the Redfield bloodline by killing Ethan’s to finish the game like I did, and it felt so wife with 3 hundred kajillion RAMRODs, brief compared to Heisenberg’s factory for the anti regenerating ammo from the dlc the manufacture of his famous 99%. This with Chris from last game. This is clearly makes this segment very disappointing for a ploy to get Ethan to partner with Claire me as I really expected more of this game, Redfield, as Chris can no longer continue yet it still aims for "Resi"’s famous 10 hour the bloodline after his use of steroids playtime. The next section was still short, sterilised him. but it was my personal favourite. Ethan and his child are kidnapped House Beneviento is easily the scariest and he wakes up to the transport truck, segment of the game. I’ve long said games destroyed. Then, dazed and startled he shouldn’t make you defenseless in horror, wanders forward into the titular village of as to do so removes fear over the course "Resident Evil 8" where he meets a man of a whole game, but this section was of named Grigori. He seems in a panic and perfect length for this. Ethan arrives only then he dies and stuff happens and it’s all to start seeing visions of Mia, Ethan’s wife. really boring. Eventually, after a long trek through an Overall the initial village segment is overgrown garden, Ethan arrives at the rather bland, and presents the first issue house. Ethan enters likely after a bit of with the game. With some exceptions, exploration to see a house just filled with the game rarely feels scary, and that feels dolls. (It’s always bloody dolls.) If you play wrong considering how vulnerable you the game in an explorative fashion, you should feel as Ethan. If one approaches the likely have a look around the house prior game as one would with "Resi 4" then it’ll to going down to the basement, and all feel better, a scary game sometimes, but you’ll find is more dolls. mostly a fun story and shooter. Now Ethan heads down into the Now the second segment, the castle. basement and down here it seems fine. Here we meet the main selling point of Some bland corridors to explore, that’s the game, Lady Dimitrescu, a vampiric all, except it isn’t. Anyways, as Ethan tries 70-year-old lady who looks less than to pick this flask up the lights go off and forty. Here is one of the more frightening Ethan has none of his weapons and a areas as Dimitrescu will pursue Ethan mannequin is now on a table in front of throughout the castle, as will her three him. Now, this was pretty creepy as I have daughters who are made of bloody bees. a major fear of those bloody mannequins. Happily, this section also introduced This section is pretty simple gameplay the morbidly obese “Duke” who makes wise, you really just have to solve a few references back to "Resi 4", further proving “puzzles” in the sense that one of those that game served as an inspiration to this match the shape toys is a puzzle. game. Duke is a fun lad and majorly helps Anyways this little section with the lights Ethan progress various times throughout on ends with some brilliant atmosphere
25 MAGAZINE and scenery. Ethan enters down into a and shortest segment. It features Moreau, basement, a room made of stone to see a an idiot who somehow became a doctor and well, one straight out of The Ring. As he has an unsettling appearance. Now, I won’t slowly climbs down the ladder anticipation go much into the segment other than to say builds, what’s at the end here? What horrific it’s based around water and you can fall in. thing is going to happen? And Ethan reaches Moreau's boss fight is mainly him vomiting the bottom and there’s a key, one to turn the on you. Then you kill him and leave. I told elevator back on, and as he climbs the ladder you it’d be short. once more you hear the wails of a baby. Now we move into some better sections, Name one thing more terrifying than that. the ones concerning Heisenberg of Ethan returns to the room with the "Breaking Bad" fame. (Oh wait, wrong mannequin only to find it gone, with a trail Heisenberg, this one can move metal.) of blood leading out. Follow the trail of Anyways, Heisenberg wants to have a chat blood and at the end is a bloody horrific with Ethan, and gives him a challenge, that baby monster that will kill Ethan in one hit. being going through his stronghold filled Honestly that’s the most frightening part to with lycans. Now this is a basic section, it’s me. I’ve always loathed losing any progress mainly just constant action that for the most in a game, that’s why I don’t touch horror part you can run through. The real section that often, but let’s face it: "Resident Evil" here is after the stronghold, in Heisenberg’s ain’t horror for the most part. factory. Here, Ethan gets a face to face Anyways, the baby chases you a bit, meeting with Heisenberg. and if you hide it just kind of disappears, This was the point of the game I started disappointingly. Then you do this a bit getting excited. It felt like the developers longer, and honestly this baby thing has one would be giving the player a meaningful of the most horrific monster designs I’ve choice, unlike in "Resi 7", however. they seen in the series. It also sounds terrifying just didn’t give the player any choice. At because the baby sounds are just slightly this point, Ethan should be offered the distorted to the point that they sound chance actually join Heisenberg or go somewhat unnatural. through the game as standard. Now, it You finish the section and get to chase does make sense that Ethan wouldn’t side a doll around the house and it isn’t scary with Heisenberg considering he wants to anymore. This is one of the main issues with weaponise Rose, Ethan’s fungus child. Alas, the game; it’s far more of an action game the game offers no such choice and Ethan than horror, in stark contrast to "Resi 7" has to fight through the factory against the which was absolutely terrifying. I predicted most dangerous enemies in the game. These this ever since I saw Chris Redfield’s steroid- enemies are mainly dangerous as they’ve ridden face pop back up at the end of 7. been enhanced with metal bits and drills Capcom really needs to learn when to stop that make them look pretty silly. The only using old characters. The amazing things reason they’re really dangerous is because in "Resident Evil" have often surrounded they’ll hide their weak spot which you think characters unseen before, with exception to wouldn’t be lit up but it is. 4 which was in essence the perfect "Resident Ethan goes through the factory solving Evil" game as it did understand how camp no actual puzzles, eventually meeting the the series was. I’ll have time to rant about legendary boulder puncher, Chris Redfield. the downward turn later; time to move on. Oh did I forget to mention the main villain? Now this will be a far shorter segment I wouldn’t worry, she's actually the least than the last two because this is the worst interesting character in the game and isn’t too important. Anyways, Chris attempts
26 MAGAZINE to make Ethan continue the Redfield ends up being a pushover. She was easily bloodline with Claire, yet Ethan is far too the simplest boss to beat in the game, and stubborn and loyal to Mia, so instead he it was very disappointing as a final boss. goes and fights Heisenberg, now a mass After this fight, Ethan starts to calcify, of robot and biomass. Now, I don’t think the thing that’s happened to every other anyone will disagree when I say this is fungus person in this game. Now here is one of the cheesiest boss fights ever, as the end of Ethan Winters’ tragedy, where you pilot a mech that shoots rockets with he gives his daughter to Chris who returns a chainsaw arm against a robot man who to Mia, leaving Ethan to sacrifice himself references Chris Redfield’s famous boulder to get rid of the Megamycete, basically punching and has massive glowing weak a big fungus baby thing. And thusly, the points. Yeah it’s pretty absurd, and I think Tragedy of Ethan Winters comes to a it’s far too much. The game so far was climactic close. trying to evoke the campy spirit of older Now that the summary is done, here’s games, and of course the feeling of "Resi my opinion as a fan of "Resi". I think this 4", yet it honestly just creates an odd game was amazing, but it wasn’t what it mish mash that comes across as forced. should have been. 7 was a horror game Anyways, onto the end. through and through; this feels like a Now is the major catharsis of the game. return to formula for the series, and we all After so many trials and tribulations, remember where that formula led. Ever low-damaging weapons and theoretically since they reintroduced Chris Redfield I limited ammunition you get to play as knew the series could only get worse, and Chris “Boulder Punching” Redfield after it has. "Resi 7" was great because it was Ethan has his heart ripped out of his chest unique compared to the rest of the series, and dies. (Yeah he’s dead, but hey now you 8 just feels like a direct attempt to redo can play as one of the worst characters of 4, which whilst being the best "Resident the series. Amazing.) Anyways, here you Evil" game, was completely unique as get a fully automatic weapon, grenades, well. This game ultimately feels a bit like and several ammunition stashes, and a misstep, and based off of the epilogue all the guns tear through Lycans at any video the series is going from downhill to difficulty. The main issue is how often you an escalator straight to Hell. Eh, at least have to reload. Anyways this section is they can’t mess up "Devil May Cry"... well really just fun, because you feel powerful, hopefully they don’t. mainly as a result of playing as a steroid So, should you buy it? On a pure value ridden super agent. basis, I have to say wait for a sale. This Now there isn’t much to speak of here game is overpriced for the content it offers until the end where Chris finds Mia and in a single playthrough, so wait for either several documents, the contents of which a Steam sale or one of EB Games’ big sales I won’t disclose in this critique as they where someone will inevitably ask “Do you are irrelevant and vital to the plot of the think a sale’s going on?” to which no one entire series. Anyways here Ethan comes will be amused. Well, that’s it, maybe next back. Yeah turns out that he’s functionally time I’ll get to show an interesting indie immortal to most things after getting offed game instead of AAA tripe. at the beginning of 7, explaining how he By Sean Hughes can continually reattach his hands which have been removed several times. Here you get to fight the big bad Miranda who
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artwork by jasper pringle
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artwork by jasper pringle
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welcome home
A dream-like tale by Fern Pulvirenti and Amelia Yoshida
anie covered his ears with shaking knew was that he needed to leave urgently. hands, running away from the sound His eyes fervently looked for a place of of laughter and torment. He didn’t care refuge. Capturing his attention was the forest Jwhere he was going or what would that bordered the town. Without another happen to him if they caught him, all he thought, he felt his body sprinting into the
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thick of the woodland. His gumboots Soon after a sweet melody began to play splashed against the muddy puddles on behind him and a faint smell of apple pie the leafy foreground. Janie found himself wafted through the air. Janie turned his running further and further, even after the head towards the direction of the light out sound of pain had left his ears. All at once, of childish curiosity. A brightly lit cottage the world was tumbling around him and shone in the dark forest behind him. The his body fell flat into the wet dirt ground curtains were drawn open and the building with a thud. emitted a comforting feeling. His hands left his ears grasping onto In an act of desperation, Janie ran the foliage around him. Blood began to towards the house grabbing onto the run into his mouth from his nose. Letting doorknob with his icy, wet hands. He the iron taste settle into his mouth, Janie looked at the wooden door in front of his clenched his eyes shut. Laying in the cold face noticing a hand-carved sign. It read ground of the forest, he let himself sob “a lost soul will always find home, and into the quietness of the world around home is where the heart is.” Janie let go him. After a few minutes, his tired body of the doorknob. He raised his shaking had begun to shiver as heavy raindrops hand to the door and tapped it three times fell mercilessly from the sky gods above. before letting his hand fall down to his Realising that his orange raincoat wouldn’t side. It hadn’t taken long for the door to be enough to save him from the rain, open its warm arms. A woman greeted Janie slowly rose to his feet. Wiping his him with a loving smile. She ushered him nose clean of the blood that rested above inside and closed the door behind him. A his upper lip with his orange sleeve. With fireplace crackled in the warmly lit home dreary eyes Janie looked for refuge once and his shivering body gladly accepted again, but this time with the expectation the comforting feeling. Janie felt his body that there would be none. He stood there, giving out on him, and once again he was head downcast, letting the rain trail down tumbling downwards, but this time he his body. The rain showed no signs of was caught in a pleasant embrace. As his stopping and the longer he stood there, the conscience let him drift off to sleep, a soft more pain he felt. The drops felt like they kiss met his wet hair and a few simple were hurling down like bullets firing down words led him to dreamland. on him and him alone. “Welcome home, Janie”. In the corner of his eye, a warm light By Fern Pulvirenti and Amelia Yoshida reflected against a puddle on the ground.
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Slow burn
Zeynep Erdogmus and Krysta Smith spirit you away into a world of magic... and murder.
kay,” Onyx’s aunt began, a “Well, you did burn down a 5-story grimace already forming on her building,” her aunt shrugged. face. “Okay, so the good news is Onyx paused. That was true. But she was that your school is not pressing a second grader. Didn’t that mean they Ocharges. The bad news is that you’re officially automatically got away with this stuff? expelled, and need to transfer schools.” “But I saw this boy Matthew eat glue in Onyx blinked at her, disbelieving. “What? class, and he didn’t get in trouble. If he’s Why?” allowed to get away with that, I think I
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should be able to get away with this.” “Onyx, there’s a spare seat next to Aster. Why don’t you go sit there?” Her aunt stared at her incredulously. Aster looked up as Onyx crossed the “Anyway. I didn’t even break any rules.” room to her new seat. “You used fire magic. I’m not going to ask “Would you like to introduce yourself, you how you did that at this age, because I Onyx?” the teacher said with a smile. Onyx am mad at you.” After a moment’s thought, stayed seated, arms crossed. she added, “but remind me to ask you later.” “Not really, but thanks.” Her words were spoken in a monotone, polite but mocking. Onyx looked at her aunt as if the answer was obvious. “I didn’t use fire magic. I used Some giggles spread through the a lighter.” classroom. Onyx glared at them. The teacher would have too, had she not been Their aunt gaped at them. “How did you too busy scowling at Onyx. get a lighter?” Their teacher was clearly not a fan of Onyx shrugged. “It really wasn’t my fault. Onyx. Was it because she hadn’t introduced The teachers don’t lock the staffroom, and herself? Or was it because she really had Mr Duracak keeps his bag there. He had killed everyone? a lighter in his bag for whatever reason? A pack of white sticks too, and those were “What are you looking at?” Onyx filled with these-” sneered. Aster realised that while thinking, she had begun to stare at the new student. Onyx’s aunt interrupted her. “Okay, yeah, that’s enough. You never cease to amaze What did she say? What was the right and terrify me.” thing to say in this situation? “Uhh…” Aster started. Should she ask her how many Her aunt walked away, and Onyx walked people she’s killed? Should she tell her to her room to do 7 year old things. about the excursion their class had gone --- on to Imberia two weeks ago? A new student had started at Aster’s “I like your hair.” Aster said, surprising school. Onyx. They seemed ordinary herself. She wasn’t going to say that, but enough. All Aster knew about them were it confused Onyx enough to allow Aster some rumours, spread through the grade to quietly continue her work. The student as if through a grapevine. Some were appeared taken aback, their demeanour believable, like Onyx transferring because changing from cynical to confused and their family had moved. Some were shy. not, like Onyx murdering everyone and “What? Oh- I- Thanks? I guess?” burning down her school. Aster didn’t look up from her work. The teacher seemed glum with the Onyx did. A few times, actually, glancing addition to their class. Aster couldn’t at the girl every few minutes with varied blame her. Their class of twenty-seven was expressions, ranging from suspicion to chaotic enough without anyone new.
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admiration to intrigue. you should know better.” --- “I’ll listen to you,” Onyx frowned, “when you say something of value.” Recess came at last. The class stampeded out of the room to enjoy their few minutes Their teacher rolled her eyes. “This is why of freedom. Aster noticed that Onyx hung you were expelled, Onyx. You need to start back, probably trying to avoid being crushed listening, or you’ll get nowhere in life.” Onyx by the throng of students pushing past each raised an eyebrow, slightly confused. “That’s other to get to the door. not why I was expelled.” “Onyx. Could you please stay behind?” the “In your file it said you were expelled for teacher asked. Aster watched as Onyx turned misbehaviour. What else could that mean?” from the door and walked to the teacher’s Onyx paused, “That I may have, possibly, desk. After some internal debating, Aster perhaps, feasibly… burned down a decided to wait outside the room, listening building?” in. When Onyx exited the room, Aster asked, “Onyx,” her teacher began, “I understand eyes large with fascination, “Did you really that things may have been different at your burn down a building?” old school, you are part of our school now. It may be hard to adjust, but here it’s important “No, why would you think that?” Onyx that you do as the teacher says. So next time pointed an accusing finger at her. “Were you I ask you to do anything, from quieting down listening?” to introducing yourself, please do so.” “I wanted to know why you came to this “Yeah, that’s how things worked at my school. It's a terrible school, by the way. Go old school too. I think the whole ‘submit to ahead and burn this one, too. I'll help.” authority’ thing is pretty standard for all schools.” Onyx grinned, mischievous glint in her eyes. “Do you know where the staffroom is?” The teacher ignored their remark. “So, if By Zeynep Erdogmus and Krysta Smith things worked the same at your old school,
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Touch me Midas, immortalise my beauty in gold. Cry for me when my voice turns cold. When my outer shell hardens, Tell me, how can my sins be pardoned?
Will you kneel before me when the gods decide I am like them, I should stand by their side. If the world befalls to tragedy Will I be the one you see as “sanctuary”?
When the world revolves around me Why should you stand free? “Touch me Midas” is what they say As their hope begins to fail and fray
A hopeless plea to set me free My insecurities Trapped by gold Touch me Midas, stop my heart from growing cold.
A narcissist's lullaby
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