Goodbye Career, Hello Success by Randy Komisar

Reprint r00207 MARCH–APRIL 2000

Reprint Number

CLAYTON M. CHRISTENSEN Meeting the Challenge of Disruptive Change R00202 AND MICHAEL OVERDORF

DANIEL GOLEMAN Leadership That Gets Results R00204

JUAN ENRIQUEZ Transforming Life, Transforming Business: R00203 AND RAY A. GOLDBERG The Life-Science Revolution

AKSHAY R. RAO, MARK E. BERGEN, How to Fight a Price War R00208 AND SCOTT DAVIS

BRIAN J. HALL What You Need to Know About Stock Options R00205

CHRISTOPHER A. BARTLETT Going Global: Lessons from Late Movers R00201 AND SUMANTRA GHOSHAL

HERMINIA IBARRA Making Partner: A Mentor’s Guide to the R00206 Psychological Journey

FORETHOUGHT A CONVERSATION WITH JONATHAN SEELIG Goodbye, B-School F00201 VIJAY VISHWANATH AND DAVID HARDING The Starbucks Effect F00202 ERIK VAN HECK The Cutting Edge in Auctions F00203 MARCEL CORSTJENS AND MARIE CARPENTER From Managing Pills to Managing Brands F00204 PETER ROSSI, PHIL DELURGIO, AND DAVID KANTOR Making Sense of Scanner Data F00205

SUZY WETLAUFER HBR CASE STUDY When Everything Isn’t Half Enough R00211

INDRAJIT SINHA THINKING ABOUT... Cost Transparency: The Net’s Real Threat to Prices and Brands R00210

DAWN LEPORE; JACK ROCKHART; PERSPECTIVES MICHAEL J. EARL; TOM THOMAS; AND Are CIOs Obsolete? R00212 PETER McATEER AND JEFFREY ELTON

RANDY KOMISAR FIRST PERSON Goodbye Career, Hello Success R00207

EILEEN C. SHAPIRO BOOKS IN REVIEW Managing in the Cappuccino Economy R00209 PHOTOGRAPHY BY JAMIE TANAKA BY JAMIE PHOTOGRAPHY

If you want to land the job of your dreams–even if you want to become a CEO–rid yourself of raw ambition. Avoid promotions that make perfect sense. Accept work based on friendship alone. Trust your gut. Then watch what happens: prosperity of the heart, soul, and– yes– the wallet.

Goodbye Career, Hello Success by Randy Komisar

y conventional standards, my résumé is a disaster. B Eleven companies in 25 years, not to mention a crazy quilt of jobs: community development manager, music promoter, corporate lawyer, CFO at a technology start-up, and chief executive at a video game company, just to name a few. I zigged, then I zagged, then I zigged some more. By my résumé alone, no one should hire me. Except that these days, plenty of companies would. And they do. At last, my “noncareer” career makes perfect sense –to them and to me. Right now, I’m a “virtual CEO.” That’s a job title that was cooked up for my business card two years ago to describe my latest incarnation. I work with ﬂesh-and-blood CEOs, mainly of Silicon Valley start-ups, to set strategy, raise money, and put a dynamic organization together very quickly. I work with ﬁve or six companies at a time, and I’m paid largely with equity. That way, everyone can be sure that I’m earning my keep. So far, being a virtual CEO has been a blast –fun, exciting, interesting. Everything you could want in a job. But how did I get here? By not having a career. Now, that wasn’t intentional. Like every other ambitious, Ivy League–educated baby boomer, I set out to have a career. I longed to impress friends, relatives, and former roommates with my titles and authority. I craved the chance to march up a corporate ladder –any corporate ladder at all. And I tried, I really did. But I just couldn’t. My whole life, I have been con- stitutionally unable to play the career game by its rules. So I ended up following another route: taking jobs that, one after another, made me happy. Jobs that sparked my passion. What a lucky accident that was. While it was in full throttle, my career made no sense looking through the windshield of the car. In fact, for many years, I couldn’t fully explain my professional path to anyone, especially not my family. But today, looking in the rearview mirror, my career makes enormous sense. After all, it ultimately landed me in my perfect job. Sometimes I feel as if I couldn’t have become a virtual CEO any other way.

harvard business review March–April 2000 5 FIRST PERSON • Goodbye Career, Hello Success

I’m not going to argue that a “ca- and personal. I realized that one per- I got into Brown University. After reer” like mine is for everyone. It’s son went to work, and one person that, I figured, all I needed was a not, especially with its emotional came home and laughed or cried great job, and I would be on my way and financial ups and downs – and about how work felt. So, only one to career fame and fortune. its unnerving lack of a safety net. But person had to make decisions about But there was one distinct impedi- a passion-driven career does have which jobs to take and which jobs to ment to my plan, and it was buried some major virtues that perhaps leave. There couldn’t be a distinc- in my genes. My father was not what make it a good choice for more peo- tion anymore between my career you would call a career man. He ple than suspect it themselves. First, and my happiness, or my career and never seemed to be at the same job very long. He owned a restaurant, a used-car lot, a gas station. He was Like every other ambitious, Ivy League–educated an independent sales rep for paint, lighting fixtures, and jewelry. He baby boomer, I set out to have a career. I tried, started many little ventures, met I really did. But I just couldn’t. early success, got tired of each, and left them to wither. Between those endeavors, he would sell anything it’s never dull. Scary, yes. Confound- my identity. They are all pieces of he could get his hands on: water pu- ing, often. But boring, never. You’re one life –my life. rifiers, burglar alarms, even Niger- always learning about yourself, other When you lump together career ian dried fish. people, business, and the world, and goals and personal goals to get life, My father was also, let’s say, an that feels terrific. It feels meaning- you are certain to find at first that avid gambler. The casinos thought ful. Second, a passion-driven career day-to-day existence is more confus- enough of him to regularly fly him is good for the companies you work ing. It’s definitely easier to compart- into their clutches, and when he for because you’re there for the love mentalize, to do whatever it takes wasn’t in Las Vegas or Atlantic City, of the work. You can feel some satis- to get the money at work and make he would find a good game of poker faction from giving your all to an or- excuses later to your family and in town. Risk taking was in his ganization. Third, a passion-driven friends. “After all, it’s only business. blood. Now, I realize that it is also in career, with all its fluidity and flex- I’m not really like that,” you say. But mine – although it has played itself ibility, actually happens to make over time, I’ve also discovered that out in very different ways. I like to supreme sense in the ever-changing when you stop distinguishing be- gamble, but not with money. I like landscape of the new economy. Con- tween work life and personal life, to gamble with ideas, as many at a ventional careers require that you you stop caring about a lot of things time as is humanly possible. I like put one foot in front of the other, that used to seem so important – to pour energy into them and see if steady as you go. First you get one like the title on your business card. they’ll ignite. kind of experience, then you get an- At the beginning, that feels fright- Even though I entered Brown with other. Inch by inch, you march for- ening –and humbling, too. But it also dreams of a high-powered career in ward. The noncareer career doesn’t feels authentic. Better yet, it feels something – anything – the school involve much marching. Instead, sustainable. I’m 45 now, and I feel as itself did little to send me on my way. when opportunity calls, you leap. if, finally, I don’t have to survive I mean that as a compliment. With And when opportunity dries up, you solely on adrenaline, speed, and agil- few required courses, the opportu- move on. You also tango, roll around ity. I can just follow one passion – nity to invent your own majors, and in the mud, and jump for joy. It all one job – to the next and call it life. a pass-fail option throughout, Brown depends on where you have taken left me to navigate my own educa- yourself. Father’s Footsteps tion. I quickly realized that other But the best thing about a career My career started out just as it was students were my best teachers. I fell like mine is that it isn’t a career at all. supposed to. I was a young over- into an eclectic group of free thinkers It’s a life. Several years ago, just when achiever. I grew up in a comfortable who, after a day of classes, sat around I thought my job history couldn’t get suburb of Rochester, New York, into the wee hours discussing their any more unconventional, it dawned where I excelled in school and par- passions: union organizing, human on me that I had to stop separating ticipated in all the right extracur- rights, theater, writing, music, film- Randy Komisar into two boxes: work ricular activities. Right on schedule, making. By graduation, I had been exposed to dozens of ideas and occu- Randy Komisar is a “virtual CEO” based in Portola Valley, California, where pations, any one of which could have taken me a lifetime to pursue. I was he helps incubate and guide start-ups. He is the author of The Monk and the intrigued by them all. I was an economics major, and, for Riddle: The Education of a Silicon Valley Entrepreneur, which will be pub- a while, I considered a career in the field but wasn’t exactly sure what lished by Harvard Business School Press in May. that would entail. I was on the verge

6 harvard business review March–April 2000 Goodbye Career, Hello Success • FIRST PERSON of dedicating my senior year to earn- The city hall gig was fascinating, stand.) The law, on the other hand, ing a master’s degree in economics but it didn’t fulfill my passion for was something that I needed to when at the last minute I became ex- business –for making deals. Not that crack; it appeared to me that lawyers cited by something old, literature, I knew that deal making was one were the real movers and shakers. and something new, computers. For- of my passions at the time. (Who They were the wise consiglieres get the master’s degree, I decided. used the word “deal” in 1976?) I soon at the mayor’s office, the fixers for There were other interesting worlds found a second job to fill my nights the Banzini Brothers, the real-estate out there to investigate. and weekends. I attached myself to developers in the community devel- Upon my graduation in 1976, I the Banzini Brothers, a small opera- opment program, and the agents for had no idea what to do next. I ap- tion that staged rock concerts and the stars. Many of them impressed plied to Harvard Business School, other performances in the area be- me with their structured, deductive which had the good sense to reject tween Boston and New York. In thinking. All I needed was a good me. I then applied to big banks and short order, I learned that there actu- dose of that, and my career would be advertising agencies, mostly in New ally were jobs where people made on its way. York. I didn’t know a thing about money while thoroughly enjoying At Harvard Law School, I threw either type of business, but from themselves. You have to remember, myself into my studies. But even 10,000 feet they looked interesting. these were the days of sex, drugs, with my eyes fixed on the prize, I felt Chemical Bank took the bait and and rock and roll. out of step. My peers roamed the called me in for interviews. But offi- Crazy as it may sound, my two campus in Brooks Brothers suits, cials there quickly realized what jobs didn’t satisfy me completely. scoring interviews at prestigious soon became clear to me as well: I had an idea that teaching might be law firms. I couldn’t bring myself to I was not a banker. The ad agencies an interesting career direction. So, join the fray. The summer after my saved themselves the trouble and in this same period, I became an first year, I successfully avoided the didn’t respond to me at all. economics instructor at Johnson & huge salaries of private practice and I thought IBM might be interested Wales College, a small liberal arts found a work-study job in the San in me because I had taken a computer school in Providence. There, I taught Francisco district attorney’s office, course in my senior year and was one evening class per term, mainly prosecuting white-collar crime. My well versed in punch cards – quite an to returning Vietnam veterans. second summer, I deviated from the unusual skill at the time for some- I kept at these three parallel “ca- norm again and worked at the Fed- one other than an engineer. I applied reers” for much of two years, and eral Trade Commission. at the company’s Providence, Rhode along the way I picked up knowledge During the school year, I made Island, office and took some kind that still guides me today. I learned ends meet with a work-study stint of personality tests in the morning about the byzantine politics of gov- at MassPIRG, Ralph Nader’s public- before my afternoon interviews. ernment organizations. I discovered interest research group in Massachu- When I returned from lunch, the re- what a roller coaster the entertain- setts. The job injected a shot of pas- sults were in, and they politely, but ment business could be and realized sion into my otherwise sterile law firmly, informed me that an inter- that our cultural heroes view would not be necessary. My could have childlike egos high-powered career wasn’t off to a and one-dimensional per- As far as I could tell, real promising start, but I wasn’t wor- sonalities. And at Johnson & ried. I just needed to find the right Wales, I saw that credentials careers involved a great jumping-off point, I figured, and the could be bestowed for a price. Still, race would begin. the polygamous nature of my pro- deal of pain and angst. Then, one summer day, long after fessional life just didn’t feel right. I most Brown students were off to knew none of my current jobs was school existence. And that gave me their jobs as White House interns or going to pan out into the “big” career an idea: I could piece together the astronauts in training, I spotted a I had dreamed of. Plus, I wasn’t suf- high-powered career I had dreamed small notice on a bulletin board in fering, and as far as I could tell from about by working a dry, prestigious the placement office. It advertised my college friends who had landed job during the day and by nurturing a a job in the planning department jobs with Fortune 500 companies rich, satisfying life of public-interest of the Providence Mayor’s Office of and the like, real careers involved a work – or whatever else excited me Community Development. One in- great deal of pain and angst. at the time – at night. Not perfect, I terview later, I was smitten with the I decided I had to get serious. reasoned, but close. prospect of working to improve In 1978, I applied to Harvard Law My what-if scenario made even the city. I would be doing some eco- School, convinced that my business more sense when Ronald Reagan nomic analysis, working with a nice intuition would substitute for an was elected president. My law group, and helping poor people get MBA. (Little did I know that the sum school adviser pulled me aside soon a fair break with housing. Plus, the total of my business experience at afterward. “The money that funds pay was okay, and the job came with the time actually amounted to the public-interest law firms is going a desk. I took it. equivalent of running a lemonade to dry up,” he warned. “You might harvard business review March–April 2000 7 FIRST PERSON • Goodbye Career, Hello Success

want to take a job with a big-time and bet on, big ideas. If you bet right, was just basking in the glow of the law firm for a few years, learn the you could win big – no matter your deal’s celebrities. In the end, it was ropes, build a résumé, and then get age, title, or years of experience. too distant. back into it.” I agreed that sounded My new environment felt exactly I remember the night the Pixar like a good plan. right, but I still had that messy ca- deal closed. There was a party in It was a boom time for private law reer question to work out. Sure, a the firm’s fanciest conference room. firms, and they needed Harvard bright young person could get ahead Champagne flowed, people laughed grads – even oddballs like me. I in Silicon Valley – but what about and congratulated one another. But joined one of the biggest old-line a bright young lawyer? I wasn’t opti- while the clients joked and cavorted, firms in Boston, Gaston Snow and mistic. More important, I wasn’t I was elsewhere – in the document Ely Bartlett, as a litigation associate. even sure that I wanted to continue room down the hall, to be exact – Little did I understand then that the being a lawyer at all, stuck in an of- making sure the deal’s i’s were dot- fice, doing the dreary ted and the t’s crossed. As I looked paperwork of a legal at the party through glass walls, I It was a boom time for private law specialist while, outside, stewed. I wanted to be in their room firms, and they needed Harvard intellectual fireworks were writing the script, not in another exploding. room filing it. grads–even oddballs like me. Right from the beginning, If I had had an inkling about my my clients at the Palo Alto office true self, I might have moved on I joined one of the biggest of Gaston Snow were mostly young right then. Instead, I just persisted in software programmers. They weren’t a state of confusion. I told myself I old-line firms in Boston. astute businesspeople by and large, had found an area of law in which but they had talent, and they were I was skilled. I liked my coworkers. I practice of law was transforming inventing the future in their garages. was making more money than from a profession for generalists to From my days managing rock musi- I needed. But I couldn’t deny that I a business for specialists. Litigation cians, I had a good sense of how to was unhappy. I was marching along meant wading through piles and relate to programmers. I knew what to someone else’s drummer. boxes and cabinets of documents. made them tick – their love of cre- Again, my plan was to stick it out, Creativity was reserved for twisting ative work and their uneasiness with but it just so happened that counsel precedents and looking for loop- commerce – and how I could help for one of the other parties in the holes. My 9-to-5 law school drudgery them build success from their ideas. Pixar deal noticed my work and rec- became an 8-to-8 sweatshop, six We were a good match. ommended me to Apple, which was days a week. So much for my rich But Gaston Snow was struggling. looking for in-house counsel. Even and satisfying after-hours life of vol- Within a couple of years, I jumped though I had no intention of taking unteer work. ship to another firm, San Francisco- the job – if anything, I wanted Apple I was unhappy at Gaston Snow, based Farella Braun & Martel. The as a client for my firm –I went on the but not enough to be looking for partners there valued their personal interview. After all, I was a Harvard a new job. I was suffering suffi- and intellectual freedom; they often lawyer, and I had been taught well ciently –I figured I had to be on the changed specialties when they be- that the high art of law took place in right track. Just stick it out for a few came bored, even at the expense of private firms. In-house practice was more years. But then love inter- the bottom line. Perhaps I had found for attorneys who couldn’t hack it. vened. My wife-to-be, Debra, was a high-powered, prestigious law firm The problem was, the people at Ap- graduating from Harvard Business where I fit in, I told myself. ple were infectious with creativity. School and was heading to Palo I had the good fortune in my first They believed they were changing Alto, California, to work at Hewlett- year to land a big client and a big the world, not just selling computers Packard. Gaston had an office just deal. George Lucas was selling Pixar, and surely not just researching case down the street in Silicon Valley. then a high-end graphics hardware law. Unexpectedly, my resistance to I maneuvered for a job there, got it, business, to Steve Jobs, who had working in-house started to melt and off we went. recently left Apple. By that time, I away. How bad could it be? had transformed myself from a liti- Very, according to my colleagues at Adventures in the Valley gator into a “technology lawyer,” Farella. When I told them about my It was 1983. All that I knew about which is another way of saying I offer from Apple, they were aghast. Silicon Valley came from a Time was a jack-of-all-trades who could How could I jettison such a prom- cover story about Apple Computer. define, protect, and trade in intellec- ising career? I would never be able But as soon as I arrived, I realized tual property. I had worked my way to get back on the high road, they I had landed in a place where impor- into a hot specialty. warned. I was settling for mediocrity. tant things were happening. Silicon In the midst of the Pixar deal, I If I just stuck with private practice, Valley was a haven for independent warmed to the idea that I had finally they argued, all the bounty of being thinkers. Better yet, it was a place found a kind of law I could practice. a prestigious partner would eventu- where people liked to come up with, But looking back now, I realized I ally be mine.

8 harvard business review March–April 2000 Goodbye Career, Hello Success • FIRST PERSON

The next day, completely at a loss, would be to free Apple from its de- ing your passion, of obeying your I rode my bicycle mile after mile pendence on Microsoft software. gut. Bit by little bit, I was letting go through the golden hills of Marin I knew Bill only by reputation. He of the notion of a linear, logical ca- County. I have always been an avid was called “The Coach,” ostensibly reer path. rider and do some of my best think- because he had been a coach of the The new company was called ing in the saddle. But 75 miles later, Columbia University football team, Claris Corporation, and it opened up I had no better idea of what to do. but really because he was known to for me a universe of experiences. I The answer came to me first thing be an ardent mentor to his direct re- kept my legal role as some basis for the next morning. I walked into the ports. He had a no-nonsense style – credibility on the management team, office and, in a glance, saw my fu- tough and tireless but warmhearted, but I grabbed every other function or ture. There, lining Farella’s hallway, too. I decided working for him might job that wasn’t taken or promised. I were the offices of the associates, not be a bad idea. secured a facility, set up the compen- then the junior partners, followed When I finally got to meet with sation and benefits plans, and nego- by the senior partners, crowned at Bill, he was on the run, as usual. He tiated the separation agreement with the end by the managing partner. pulled me into a dark conference Apple. I bought companies, like File- Nothing about the tidy scene ex- room, and, without turning on the Maker, that became mainstays of cited me. In fact, it made me groan. lights, gave me the three-minute the business. I bought products, like I yearned for the energy that Apple pitch. He was going to build a world- ClarisWorks and AppleWorks GS, was offering me. I quit that week. class software company focused on that made us a full-fledged software the Macintosh and using the prod- player. I helped strategize and struc- In Apple’s Core ucts that Apple was making. The ture our international operations In 1986, Apple was on a tear. The new company would have its own and offices. And as secretary to the Macintosh was going strong, and the culture, compensation, and infra- board, I learned how that critical company was ripe with opportuni- structure, and within three years body works. ties. Officially, I was a lawyer work- he expected to take the company Best of all, I got to work closely ing in the firm’s small but efficient public. Was I in? with Bill, and that taught me the im- legal department. But with encour- Three minutes in the dark, and portance of attaching yourself to agement from my boss – and Apple’s this guy wanted me to make a life- great people, great teachers. Before, senior managers – I dove into deal changing career decision. He hadn’t I had focused on jobs and opportu- making. discussed my title, salary, or even nities. Now, watching Bill in action With every deal, with every day, my role. With only a moment’s hes- every day, I realized that it mattered I learned more. I learned about the itation, the word came out of my just as much – more, even – to find a high-tech industry. I learned how mouth. “Yes.” talented, experienced mentor who large organizations think, make deci- “Great. You’re the first co- is willing to invest the time and ef- sions, and operate. I had never been founder,” said Bill, his voice trailing fort to develop you as a person and exposed to a corporation’s internal off as he took off down the hall. a businessman. Not that working machinations before, and I was se- “Let’s get moving.” with Bill was always easy. In fact, nior enough in the company – even- Intellectually, I knew what I had we often clashed at the beginning. tually becoming senior counsel for done was insane. But I was enam- After all, I was still a lawyer at heart. half the business –that I was exposed ored with the idea of joining a start- I wanted things to be buttoned to it all. up. And, I asked myself, if nothing down, methodical, and tightly struc- But the fun was over almost as careful or planned had ever worked tured. But Bill always put people quickly as it had started. A year after in my career before, why start now? first. When I wanted to talk about I joined, Apple decided to reorganize its internal legal function to reduce Intellectually, I knew what I had done was costs. I could stay, but I’d be back to practicing law. No way. I had been insane. But I was enamored with the bitten by the business bug. For the first time in my career, I decided idea of joining a start-up. I would actually go in search of new work. I’d change directions. That I would just have to get used to feel- deals, he counseled me to think about was okay. ing uneasy. relationships. When I wanted to fo- But before I could start sending But what a great move I had cus on the bottom line, Bill urged me out résumés, I got a tip: within days, made – in fact, it was one of the best to think about individuals. He should Apple would announce the spin-off of my life. First, I learned more about have fired me a hundred times. In- of its software applications group. business in the three years that fol- stead, he invested countless hours It would be run by Bill Campbell, lowed than most people learn in 20. into making me realize – slowly but then Apple’s executive vice president Second, I found a lifelong friend and surely –the error of my ways. of sales and marketing. (Campbell is mentor in Bill. Third, and as impor- Bill showed me the power of lead- now chairman of Intuit.) Its mission tant, I learned the virtue of follow- ership. I often wonder, if I had fol- harvard business review March–April 2000 9 FIRST PERSON • Goodbye Career, Hello Success

lowed the career path ahead of me from Bill Campbell, who had be- start of the second year, I couldn’t at Farella Braun & Martel, or even as come CEO of GO Corporation. At see how we could continue to raise an in-house lawyer at Apple, would the time, GO was full of hype, talent, these huge sums of money. We had I have ever seen that light? Maybe – and money. It was going to revolu- to sell, which we did in 1993. but perhaps not for a dozen more tionize the PC business by introduc- At GO, despite all its difficulties, years. There are just not that many ing the first pen-based computer. Bill had groomed me to be a CEO by exceptional leaders around –particu- Did I want to come along for the giving me a diverse set of manage- larly not in the legal field, where ride? Bill asked. ment responsibilities. But the fact most firms are loose confederacies of This time I paused long enough to was, I no longer had the compelling individual contributors. But when I ask what my position would be. Bill drive to be a big gun. At age 39, I was struck by how little time was left for the rest of my life. I was al- I would now rise through the corporate ranks in ways sprinting, always on deadline, always in the critical path, subsist- one of the technology era’s most dynamic ing on adrenaline and caffeine. I had companies, right? Wrong. no time for reading, cooking, travel- ing, music, and art, and little time for my steadfast wife and lovable took that leap of faith to follow Bill, thought for a second, then said CFO. hounds. If you looked in the bank, I dove, too, into one of life’s most I was shocked. I had a rudimentary I was well off. But I still felt poor, important lessons. People will de- understanding of FASB and GAAP, incomplete. liver the impossible if you inspire but I had no accounting or systems From my vantage point today, I them. And inspiration is a subtle experience. When I asked Bill to ex- see that my exit from GO was the art – a mix of empathy, respect, and plain himself, he told me he was beginning of my slow realization that love. You can only learn it from a looking for a partner – someone to life cannot be compartmentalized. master. make deals and help manage inter- I was working like a madman but Bill was and still is a master. Under nal operations while he drove the spending very little time on things his leadership, Claris grew in three company externally. I would be able that mattered to me. In society, we years to a profitable global company, to hire all the expertise I needed. call obsessive-compulsive behavior with nearly $90 million in revenues What he wanted was my broad ex- a disorder. People take medication and more than 700 employees. We perience, my deal-making ability, to combat it. But when we demon- decided to go public in 1990. Gold- and my friendship. “You’ve got it,” strate obsessive-compulsive behav- man Sachs worked with us to pre- I told him. ior about work and making money, pare the offering. But in the process, This time, my gut steered me into it is considered completely normal, Apple realized that to be successful a tidal wave of stress. Within days at a “sacred hunger,” and is amply re- as an independent company, Claris GO, I realized we had six weeks of warded. I was a case in point, and would have to sell Windows prod- cash left. Six weeks! And this was somewhere deep inside me, I was ucts as well. Apple panicked and in the high-tech venture-capital de- starting to ask, “What is wrong with exercised its option to buy back pression of 1991, not the euphoric this picture?” Claris at a premium. At first, mem- Internet capital markets of 1999. We No happy ending – not yet. My bers of the top team were overjoyed scrambled. First, we decided to exit musings about life and work – and with the news; we were all going to the hardware business and mimic balance – came to an abrupt halt be wealthy. But in a matter of days, Microsoft. I spent a harried weekend with a call from a headhunter. He those feelings were mixed with sad- learning to run a spreadsheet, grab- wanted to know if I would be inter- ness. We realized that we would never bing every Microsoft 10K and 10Q ested in meeting with LucasArts work together again – the magic was form I could get my hands on, and Entertainment, the digital products over, and it was priceless. modeling GO’s software business all division of George Lucas’s empire. In the aftermath of the sale, Apple the way down to the product level. LucasArts made games and “edutain- offered me a sizable raise and promo- We also decided to sell GO’s hard- ment” products. Finally, I thought, tion to stay on at Claris in a business ware business to a new venture with here’s my chance to take that next role. That was good news, I reasoned. AT&T – for exactly $10 million. We step up the ladder and be the CEO It proved I had established a career closed in the nick of time, and I that I had been groomed to be. My path in the high-tech industry. I hoped that my fund-raising days life could wait. could now rise through the corpo- were over. I donned an ill-fitting, out-of- rate ranks in one of the most visible They weren’t. GO’s product was fashion suit from my lawyer days and dynamic companies of the new delayed, and we needed a truckload and interviewed with the hiring technology era. A career at last. more money just a few months later. committee. On paper, I did not meet Wrong. I just could not stay on a Eventually, we raised $75 million, their specifications at all: not a game career path to save my life. As I but we never managed to ship a com- aficionado, no real P&L experience, weighed the Apple offer, I got a call mercially viable product. From the no background in the entertainment

10 harvard business review March–April 2000 Goodbye Career, Hello Success • FIRST PERSON business. Still, they invited me to the board blocked any acquisitions to say yes to any one of the head- meet with George Lucas at his Sky- that I suggested. hunters calling me about CEO posi- Walker Ranch a few days later. We When a headhunter from Crystal tions in the Internet ventures that had a highly spirited exchange about Dynamics called about the CEO job were springing up like California the future of the gaming and enter- at the three-year-old video game poppies in April. Again, the answer tainment industries, two topics I company in Silicon Valley, I was was no. found fascinating despite my rela- ready to listen. I would have lots of Finally, after incessant years of go, tive naiveté. I left the session not independence, I was promised, plus go, go, I wanted to pause. I wanted to knowing Lucas’s predilections to- a higher salary than at LucasArts, figure out what I wanted to be. With- ward me, but a few days later, the job and more stock, too. As an added out actually realizing it, I had given was mine to refuse. I grabbed it. bonus, Crystal was a mere 15 min- up on the idea of a career. What was LucasArts presented a very differ- utes from my home rather than the a career anyway? I had had a lot of ent challenge than Claris or GO. For 75-minute commute each way to fascinating jobs; I had built a life to be proud of. It was time to let go of the notion of climbing and just ac- My musings about life and work – and balance – cept the fact that I was on a long and winding journey. Where I went next came to an abrupt halt with a call from was entirely my choice. a headhunter. So I was free to decide my next step. Did that make me feel great? No – I was scared witless. For the one thing, I had no mentor. George LucasArts. This would be my most first time in ages, I had no identity. controlled the company, and the logical career move yet – CEO to No company to attach to my name board was much more of a kitchen CEO, game business to game busi- at parties. No title to bring with me cabinet than an independent-minded ness, back in the Valley, and a raise when I left the house. I dreaded group of advisers. Entertainment to boot. meeting new people and having to was also a new industry for me, and It turned out to be the worst career explain myself without a flimsy the aggressive, equity-based ap- move I ever made. Production sched- two-by-three inch card stating that proach to building businesses that ules that had been set before I ar- I was “President” or “CEO.” I learned in Silicon Valley was at rived were ridiculously tight; we Months of thinking went by. My odds with the cautious, cash-flow couldn’t hit them. Crystal’s board terror ebbed and flowed, mostly mentality of the film business. The was unwieldy – a nine-person collec- flowed. I wondered if I was going to LucasArts culture was insular, and tion of founders, venture capitalists, fritter away the rest of my life con- I had an uphill battle establishing ex-Crystal CEOs, and industry part- sidering my alternatives. I wondered myself in it. ners. But the biggest problem was if I should go back to the manual Still, I loved the people at Lucas- that I had no passion for the busi- labor that had made me so happy Arts, the highly creative writers, an- ness. I wanted to transform Crystal during my part-time jobs in high imators, musicians, artists, and pro- into a creative leader in cinematic school and college. Maybe I could be grammers. There was a buzz about digital entertainment, more like a chef, I thought. At least then I’d the place that kept me electrified. LucasArts. Given the exigencies of have medical benefits again. I’d have We made bold moves, restructuring the marketplace, however, the smart a job title. our distribution system and install- move was to shrink it into a niche Then, one day, I got a call from my ing our own sales force. We experi- video-game maker. One year after I old friend Steve Perlman. The CEO mented with CD-ROMs and entered arrived, I resigned. of WebTV at the time, Steve was a into a strategic partnership with highly charismatic visionary who Nintendo. It was a lot of change for Time Out had never run a company before. I the conservative businesspeople at It was 1996. I was 42. And I was in was already on WebTV’s board, but LucasArts, but it worked. In less than free fall. After all, I hadn’t left Crys- Steve asked me if I’d do more – if two years, sales more than tripled tal with a gold star on my forehead. I would support him day-to-day as and profits soared even faster. I was I’d bailed out after posting a less than he built his company. The role we liking this CEO thing. admirable performance. Who would agreed on was supposed to be part- But there was a dark side. George want me? What next? time and temporary. I’d be an adviser, was focused on the Star Wars movies One option was to commit myself a mentor, or something like that. that were in the works. The com- full time to serving on boards. I was We’d figure it out as we went. pany was doing so well that, despite already sitting on a handful, and I As it ended up, I loved the work. I his initial promises, it looked un- could easily ramp up. But that idea got to spend all my time doing the likely that LucasArts would go pub- didn’t excite me. I didn’t want to go 20% of the CEO role that was truly lic or be spun off; in other words, I out to pasture, not yet. My career exciting to me – strategizing, build- would never have the autonomy wasn’t over – I wasn’t even sure it ing relationships, making deals, and I craved. And much to my chagrin, had begun. The other option was mentoring teams. And I didn’t have harvard business review March–April 2000 11 FIRST PERSON • Goodbye Career, Hello Success

to get near the 80% of the role that I couple of months a year. I call my like rewards for the life that I’ve re- found so tedious and draining – the life “integrated.” I don’t have a job, made. They reflect who I am, not tactical stuff. Six months in, I decided I have work that weaves in and out what others say I should be. Once I loved the work so much that I of my life as I guide it. you have an inkling about what should do more of it. I could be a vir- In arriving at my noncareer career, truly makes you happy, it becomes tual CEO for a portfolio of compa- two major issues have become clear a lot easier to reprioritize and spend nies –if I could find takers. for me. First, I have had to learn to your most precious asset – time – on I did. Since I put out my shingle as live with a murky business identity. the qualitative experiences that ful- a virtual CEO, I have had the oppor- Few people get what I mean when I fill you. And that’s more satisfying tunity to look at hundreds of new say “virtual CEO,” but that’s part of than squandering time on mean- Don’t let a career drive you, let passion drive your life. That may not get you up any ladder, but it will make your trip down a long and winding road more interesting.

businesses. I choose my jobs based the price I pay for my choices. There ingless work just so you can acquire on one thing – call it the thump fac- is no “handle” that excuses people the redundant artifacts of material tor. If an entrepreneur and his plan from actually getting to know me – success. make my heart pound, I sign on. So Randy Komisar, the person, not the far, I’ve worked with an Internet title – if they want to work with me. When all is said and done, perhaps I chat community, a digital anima- Second, I have come to see that liv- am not really in a great position to tion studio, an on-line party-supply ing modestly must be a deliberate give career advice given the fact that store, a personalized television com- choice in this time and place – it’s I haven’t had one. But for what it’s pany, a Web promotions service, a like a discipline. Here in Silicon Val- worth, here’s a final bit anyway: If small-business applications service ley, we live among centamillionaires you can do anything setting out, or provider, a nationwide on-line info- and billionaires. There is intense along the way –because it’s never too mediary for child and elder care ser- pressure to keep up – to live very late to start again – figure out who vices, a broadband and broadcast TV large. But part of letting go of career you are. What do you love to do? news syndicator, a Web-based cus- chasing is also letting go of status. How do you want to live? Then, tomer-satisfaction business, an Inter- That, too, can be a shock to the sys- don’t let a career drive you, let pas- net invitations service, and a stream- tem at first, but it quickly begins sion drive your life. That may not ing-audio audience measurement to feel fantastic – utterly liberating. get you up any ladder, but it will and targeting company. Some of the Today, my comfortable lifestyle is make your trip down a long and ventures have taken off, others have dictated by what I need to be happy, winding road more interesting. And floundered, but all of them have cap- not what society prescribes as the in the end, if it makes you feel bet- tured my heart and imagination. In trappings of success. I don’t have a ter, go ahead and call it a career. It return, I’ve poured myself into each big, fancy house. I drive a used mo- doesn’t matter. A career is what you of them. torcycle; it was a great deal. When I make it. What, then, of that life I wanted – eat out, which I do a lot, I favor eth- with cooking, reading, and the like? nic restaurants over Chez Panisse. I Reprint r00207 I do a lot more of those things now. travel economy, not first class. None To place an order, call 1-800-988-0886. In fact, I try to travel for pleasure a of these feel like sacrifices. They feel

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