The Reluctant Famulus 107

November/December 2015 Thomas D. Sadler, Editor/Publisher, etc. 305 Gill Branch Road, Owenton, KY 40359 Phone: 502-484-3766 E-mail: [email protected]

Contents

Introduction, Editor 3 Rat Stew, Gene Stewart 8, His Name Was Lulu, Sheryl Birkhead 11 Children of the Flood Alfred D. Byrd 13 New Ancient Earthlings, Gayle Perry 18 The Crotchety Critic, Michaele Jordan 25 A bit of fatuousness, Editor 26 The Guts Of Starship Troopers, Robin Bright 27 Letters 33 Dark Matter, Editor 44 Pyramids, Editor 45 Conclusion, Editor 45

Artwork/Photos Sheryl Birkhead Front cover, Back cover Brad Foster 12, 43, 45 Teddy Harvia 10, 32, 41 A. B. Kynock 35, 39 Spore 33, 37 The Reluctant Famulus is a product of Strange Dwarf Publications. Some of the comments expressed herein are solely those of the Editor/Publisher and do not necessarily reflect the thoughts of any sane, rational persons who know what they are doing and have carefully thought out beforehand what they wanted to say. Material not written or produced by the Editor/Publisher is printed by permission of the various writers and artists and is copyright by them and remains their sole prop- erty and reverts to them after publication. TRF maybe obtained for The Usual but, in return for written material and artwork, postage costs, The Meaning of Life, and Editorial Whim.

2 The Reluctant Famulus

Introduction: A State of Puzzlement (Well, maybe not.) What’d I do wrong? The responses to the last the last one of my harping on typos. After all, fan- issue was a bit smaller than usual. There was one zines are notorious for containing typos. Which, comment from Taral Wayne which wasn’t actu- in spite of my diligence, will definitely occur in ally a loc; a loc, from Sheryl Birkhead, locs from this issue—as seems inevitable. I’m slightly em- Jerry Kaufman, Alexis Gilliland, and Kim barrassed to admit it but I finally discovered that Neidigh and Milt Stevens, Lloyd Penney, Brad the word processing program I use the most has Foster, John Purcell, and Dave Rowe. That’s it. I an automatic underline feature that flags misspell- haven’t heard anything from Al Byrd who usually ings as I type away, as do the three other word sends a loc. Neither has Joe Major who is having processors I have and the MS Publisher program. various problems of his own. Other than that, it’s So that might—no guarantees—drastically de- copacetic so far. crease the number of typos. I’ll probably still I must admit that all you folks—and espe- find a way to commit them. Unfortunately, that cially those of you who aren’t retired—are busy won’t do much good when it come to including with real world activities and obligations that the same articles in an issue. can’t be ignored. That’s understandable. In all But wait. Here’s an idea. Maybe if I kill off honesty I can’t really complain and I’m being my typo obsession, drive a stake through its heart greedy for expecting more. Shame on me. and bury it by a crossroads at midnight perform- Take a deep breath and calm yourself down. ing strange, arcane and obscure rituals from an- There. The usual stalwarts provided me with their cient incunabula and reciting archaic enchant- thoughts and that’s greatly appreciated. ments to insure success. Maybe I can finally get it Fortunately, I have a Rat Stew column, The out of my system and concentrate on everything second part of Al Byrd’s Children of the Flood, but typos. another NEA, the latest installment of Michaele Although I might develop some other obses- Jordan’s Crotchety Critic, an article by Sheryl sion. I hope not. That probably wouldn’t be any Birkhead, plus some odds and ends which might better in the end. be of some interest to somebody. Back to the first sentence of the preceding Let’s leave that subject and move on to more paragraph and the matter of “A new Spaceship” important matters—whatever they may be. appearing twice in TRF 107, of which I was Such as my latest screw-up (Something I quickly notified. No excuses. It happened and seem to be good at whether I like it or not.) and what’s done is done. For some strange reason, presenting the article on the new kind of space- even though I keep committing typos and other craft twice. mistakes for readers to find and point out, the I’m beginning to wonder if maybe 27 years of Earth continues its course around the Sun and life publishing TRF are enough and it’s time to retire goes on as always. The GOP will continue trying the fanzine after the 27th anniversary in Decem- to self-destruct (which now seems natural for ber. But then I’ve been known to threaten to stop them), especially since the Speaker of the House publishing The Reluctant Famulus only to turn will be retiring from the post and his office at the around and produce another issue anyway. So end of October. People’s lives will go on nor- I’ve shown I can’t keep a promise—at least in mally and the nitpickers (thankfully a small num- regard to TRF. ber) are still able to nitpick as usual and chortle For whatever it’s worth I plan this issue to be with glee—or something. So, to those who will

3 nitpick, go ahead and have your laugh. I realize something out of a cheap horror movie about now that those errors and the responses to them loathsome, strange looking humans doing nasty, are really very minor matters, and should be eas- distasteful things to hapless travelers. I think I’d ily forgotten. better quit with this thread before I start having We all have our own better, truer pleasures: a nightmares involving all the above in some way. beautiful sunrise or sunset, a newborn baby, the Some observations from unknown sources: happy look on a child’s face, a pet dog or cat, a “America’s a great country. It allows people painting or sculpture by an old master or a con- to believe whatever they want no matter how stu- temporary one, a good book, one’s spouse, good pid, crazy or ignorant it may be.” Anonymous friends, the awesome scenery in America, and on “It’s too bad they’re allowed to breed.” and on. (And fanzines, maybe?) Those are posi- Anonymous tive pleasures and welcome ones. It’s too bad “Even worse, some of them get elected to there seem to be others which aren’t in the same Congress.” Anonymous category. *Which we’re not likely to see unless we’re But humans do have their dark sides. Unfortu- underwater where they live. Or Sponge Bob nately. Among those, many people possess a cer- square pants. tain irrational obsession unintentionally caused There are conspiracy theories and then there by our “Founding Fathers” when they conceived Are CONSPIRACY THEORIES. and wrote the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, and According to certain sources, this particular the subsequent 10 (with more having been added theory, which, believe it or not, somehow in- over the years) amendments, one of them being volves President Obama, works like this. In Mon- the Second Amendment in particular. It’s amazing tana there are plans to move all the people out of how many ways that has been interpreted every the inter-mountain west to make way for a grizzly which way to reflect personal viewpoints and jus- bear corridor (which stretches from the Yellow- tify their need to own weaponry of all kinds. Now stone to Yukon ecosystem). Included are UN sol- I’ll drop that subject like a red hot hunk of steel. diers amassed but hidden in Glacier and Yellow- NASA says there’s good evidence of [salt] stone National Parks, from other countries includ- water on Mars. On the other hand, according to ing Croatia, Wales, and who knows where else. extremist Rightwinger Rush Limbaugh, it’s a There are tunnels under the mountains between conspiracy hoax created by NASA. As for signs Glacier and Thompson Falls, Montana, which, of life, that’ll have to wait for who knows how theorists think is where train cars are being stored long. That is, if we’ll be able to recognize it when that “people” have seen that have shackles in we see it. Other kinds of life wouldn’t necessarily them and guillotines. This is where President walk upright on two legs like us humans. After Obama is involved. He had allegedly ordered the all, just to name a few, snakes are life forms. So purchase of 30,000 guillotines. They’re the trains are snails and slugs, starfish* (or Sea stars since westerners are supposedly going to be piled into they’re not actually fish), seals and walruses, when the time comes to move them out to make amoebas, paramecia and even slime molds. Can way for the endangered grizzly bear. It looks as if you picture a human-sized amoeba or parame- we’re not dealing with just plain old evil or ordi- cium and ones with human-level intelligence? nary nutjobs here, we’re dealing with some sort Then there are Republicans, entirely different of severe mental illness. This is in addition to creatures pretending to be intelligent. Oops. That President Obama’s alleged diabolical plot to turn wasn’t a nice thing to write. Naughty me. America into a Muslim country. Here’s hoping Speaking of which, someone—I don’t know you sleep well after read the preceding. who—observed that congressman Trey Gowdy On to something a bit less scary. Some more looks like the result of serious inbreeding or a pareidolia Mars photos. Thank goodness for all failed eugenics experiment or a sport (definition those photos transmitted by the Mars rover. I 6: (biology) an organism that has characteristics hope they keep coming for a long time. They’re resulting from chromosomal alteration.). Or worth looking at even if what people think they

4 see really isn’t what they really see.

Yeah. Riiight. Not like the kind I’m used to seeing. Some people sure have strange eyesight and perception. Or else have been indulging in illicit It kinda sorta looks like a man’s head at least. drugs.

Just below the “h” in helmet is the alleged hel- Now here’s a goody—my foot! It looks to me met. It does kind of look like one I guess. If you more like a partly finished Twinkie somebody tilt your head to one side and squint your eyes. discarded. Darned litterers

I thought Stonehenge looked a lot different from That’s supposed to resemble an elephant’s head. is claimed to be on Mars. That looks more like Not to me. Maybe the profile of some critter with some kind of skin infection instead of a place an- a big snout and a tiny eye. Or just an odd rock cient people went to worship formation

5 Planet Hunters, a program that asked “citizen scientists” to examine light patterns emitted by the stars, from the comfort of their own homes. In 2011, several citizen scientists noted one particular star as “interesting” and “bizarre.” It was emitting a light pattern that looked stranger than any of the others Kepler was watching. The light pattern suggests there is a large mass of matter circling the star in a tight formation. That would be expected if the star were young. But this unusual star isn’t young. Experts According to claims, the donut-shaped (more like say that if it were, it would be surrounded by dust a Bismarck roll) object mysteriously appeared in that would give off extra infrared light. Appar- a before and after shot as noted on the picture. ently here doesn’t seem to be an excess of infra- That seems kinda shady to me. But why spoil their red light around this star. The star appears to be fun? That’s enough for now. mature one. But here’s this mass of objects circling it. It’s a mass big enough to block a substantial number The Most Mysterious Star of photons which would have otherwise been in Our Galaxy captured by the Kepler Space Telescope. If nature had deposited this material around the star, it Astronomers have spotted a distant star with a must have done so recently. Otherwise, it would strange mass of objects whirling around it. Scien- be gone by now. Gravity would have merged it tists who are searching for extraterrestrial civili- together, or it would have been sucked into the zations are working to get a closer look. star and swallowed, after a brief fiery splash. There are two constellations hovering above So the wild claim has been made that, “It the Milky Way in the Northern hemisphere’s looked like the kind of thing you might expect an sky—Cygnus the swan and Lyra, the harp.” alien civilization to build.” Between these constellations is an unusual A number of scenarios have been put forth star, invisible to the naked eye, but not to the Ke- that might explain the pattern: instrument defects, pler Space Telescope. The Kepler Space Tele- the shrapnel from an asteroid belt pileup, an im- scope has been looking at it since 2009. pact of planetary scale, like the one that created Tabetha Boyajian at Yale said, “We’d never our moon. seen anything like this star. It was really weird. The paper finds each explanation lacking ex- We thought it might be bad data or movement on cept for one. If another star had passed through the spacecraft, but everything checked out.” the unusual star’s system, it could have pulled a Kepler was looking at more than 150,000 sea of comets inward. If there were enough of stars, simultaneously and for tiny dips in the light them, the comets could have made the dimming emitted by this star. These dips are often shadows pattern. cast by transiting planets. Especially when they But it would be an extraordinary coincidence, repeat, periodically, as expected if they were if that happened so recently, only a few millennia caused by orbiting objects. before humans developed the technology to loft a The Kepler Space Telescope collected a great telescope into space. That’s a narrow band of deal of light from all of those stars it monitored. time, cosmically speaking. But there was so much light that Kepler’s science And yet, the explanation has to be rare or co- team couldn’t process it all with algorithms. They incidental. After all, this light pattern doesn’t needed the human eye and our cognition, which show up anywhere else, across 150,000 stars. We is unsurpassed in certain sorts of pattern recogni- know that something strange is going on out tion. Kepler’s astronomers decided to found there.

6 SETI researchers have long suggested that we in a pattern similar to the outbreak of an epi- might be able to detect distant extraterrestrial demic.” civilizations, by looking for enormous techno- Scientists haven’t yet figured out whether life logical artifacts orbiting other stars. Jason Wright is capable of surviving the extreme conditions an astronomer from Penn State University and his found in space and spreading to other stars—a co-authors say the unusual star’s light pattern is controversial theory known as panspermia. consistent with a “swarm of mega-structures,” However, astrophysicists at the Harvard- perhaps stellar-light collectors, technology de- Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics believe that signed to catch energy from the star. if panspermia is possible, life would spread out in When Wright was shown the data, he was a characteristic pattern. fascinated by how crazy it looked, “Aliens should Henry Lin, the lead author of new research always be the very last hypothesis you consider, that has been accepted for publication in The As- but this looked like something you would expect trophysical Journal Letters, compared the phe- an alien civilization to build.” nomenon to the outbreak of an epidemic. Boyajian, with Wright and Andrew Siemion, “If there’s a virus, you have a good idea that the Director of the SETI Research Center at the one of your neighbors will have a virus too,” he University of California, Berkeley are writing up told Smithsonian Magazine. “If the Earth is seed- a proposal. They want to point a massive radio ing life, or vice versa, there’s a good chance im- dish at the unusual star to see if it emits radio mediate neighbors will also have signs of waves at frequencies associated with technologi- life.”Scientists haven’t yet figured out whether cal activity. If they see a sizable amount of radio life is capable of surviving the extreme conditions waves, they’ll follow up with the Very Large Ar- found in space and spreading to other stars—a ray (VLA) in New Mexico. It may be able to say controversial theory known as panspermia. whether the radio waves were emitted by a tech- The research suggests that there are two ways nological source, like those carried out into the intelligent life can spread across the universe. The universe from Earth’s network of radio stations. first option is for living things to travel intention- If everything goes well, the first observation ally. The second is through a natural process in would take place in January, with the follow-up which comets and asteroids serve as transfer ve- coming next fall. If things go really well, the fol- hicles for biological matter. (Some scientists below-up could happen sooner. Wright said, “If we lieve that meteors are responsible for bringing the saw something exciting, we could ask the director first primordial life to Earth.) for special allotted time on the VLA, In that case, If the “seeds” of one living planet reach a hab- we’d be asking to go on right away.” itable planet orbiting a neighboring star, accord- There you have it. There are some researchers ing to the paper, they can take root. Over time, who feel confident that they may have found the result of this process would be a series of life- solid proof of a highly advanced civilization way bearing oases dotting the galactic landscape. out there in space. A civilization using “a swarm “In a sense, the Milky Way galaxy would be- of megastructures.” of some sort but with no hint come infected# with pockets of life,” Avi Loeb, as to what the structures look like. Gigantic mir- the other author of the paper, said in a press re- rors? Really high-powered neon signs saying, lease. “Here we are! Over here!”? Or an array of dish Lin and Loeb note in their paper that even if antennas each a thousand feet in diameter? There. Earth is the only inhabited planet right now, inter- Maybe, possibly, potentially something of some stellar travel by humans may one day lead to sort. Or not. Only wishful thinking. colonization of the galaxy. Here’s a different view of Panspermia “The question that awaits is whether primitive life has already spread efficiently, or whether it New Research Explains How Life Could Spread will have to wait for ‘intelligent’ life to make the To Other Galaxies voyage,” they write. # Does that mean we humans are infections? “Life could spread from host star to host star

7 Rat Stew, by Gene Stewart “Where’d You Go? — Disappearances in National Parks”

“Exorcisms proceed into barbarity from an order. untenable set of superstitions. Indefensible prac- A family, visiting Yosemite, is hiking along a tice, same as circumcision.” wide, well-traveled trail along with hundreds of / Dr. Kyler, in discussion others. They encounter groups coming the other way, pass slower people, or are passed by faster We fear what we don’t understand, and we set people at regular intervals, but it’s not so aside what we fear because out-of-sight is out-of- crowded as to make it unpleasant. Yosemite is, mind. We deny ghosts consistently enough and after all, a popular, beautiful place. they become Caspar, friendly and harmless. This family is a father, mother, and a toddler. Been reading about mysterious disappear- The toddler keeps running a few yards ahead, ances in National and State parks lately; intrigu- then turning to smile and laugh, only to dodge ing, even fascinating, details. A guest on the radio away as his parents get there again. It’s a game show COAST TO COAST AM, heard online, and he’s not out of their sight, except once, when snagged my interest; a retired San José, CA his scampering takes him around a bend. The fa- homicide detective, David Paulides, had noticed ther increases pace to get him back in sight, only patterns extending to other instances of disap- to find the child gone. pearance in other National Parks when he’d A momentary blink of surprise, a search that looked into a case in Yosemite. becomes more frantic, and soon others are search- Seeking records, he asked the National Parks ing, too. Rangers are called. Professional rescue Service and was rebuffed, which surprised him. crews are called in, including helicopters He put in a FOIA request. It would cost $34,000, equipped with infra-red, drones similarly he was told. He knew this was bullshit but, for equipped, dogs for following scent, and so on. laughs, and to document their stonewalling, asked Remember, this is a toddler. Can’t have gone far. for all pertinent or related records. They cited a The possibility of a cougar or bear attack are fee of nearly 3 million dollars. quickly eliminated; no blood, no spoor. Someone Obviously, open public records are not so grabbing the child? Possible, but given the ter- open or publicly available. rain, they’d soon have found at least the body. Why so serious? He learned that hinky re- A few hours later, the boy’s body is found by sponses is the norm from higher-ups, and off-the- hikers unaware of the search. The body is bare- record puzzlement and simmering frustration ex- footed, wearing only a shirt, covered in light ists among the boots on the ground. This despite scratches, dead amidst rocks above the tree-line hundreds, possibly thousands, of people going in in an area miles away, across three ridge lines and but not coming out each year. With no one track- through dense valleys with raging rivers. No ing or consolidating data, it’s difficult to put reli- cause of death is determined. able numbers on the situation. Keeping things He was too young, too small to have traversed blurred allows some to deny there is a situation, that terrain, which is so rugged even experienced too; convenient ignorance is bureaucracy’s mountaineers expressed doubt of being able to watchword, along with the strategic surveillance cover that kind of ground, let alone as a toddler in and tactical HR slaughters. bare feet. As to a helicopter being used, they An example of what we’re talking about is in would have seen it, as all aircraft searching were

8 coordinated and none was heard at the time of his mutilations and crop formations, there is much disappearance, nor during the initial search hours more here than skeptics so breezily dismiss with a before things escalated. wave of their why-bother lack of research. What It is baffling. it may be remains unknown, and, so far, unguess- able, unless you’re deeply into fringe and Fortean In another case a man with two friends was flings of fluff. camping and had his dog along. The dog dashed out of camp after a squirrel and the guy, already Paulides has published four or five books so barefoot because he was changing out of wet far dealing with these disappearances. In them socks, ran to corral the dog. His friends laugh un- one can find his research, his personal account of til, a few minutes later, there is neither sight nor his own searches, and accounts of people going sound of the man or the dog. Calling out elicits missing in inexplicable circumstances. Some are no response. They begin searching and find noth- found dead, many are never seen again, and a rare ing. few are recovered. They alert rangers, and a professional search Those survivors of the experience say either ensues. Days of searching, scouring an ever- very strange things or have no clue at all what widening circle, turns up nothing until, several happened to them, or how they get to where they days after the disappearance, on a path well- are eventually found. searched many times, on a log dropped across the Incidentally, if you’re interested in reading path, they find the man’s clothes, neatly folded. his books, buy them through his website, where No one knows what this means. they are priced in normal ranges. At Amazon they are jacked up unconscionably by third-party He is never seen again. profiteers who should be boycotted if not banned In another case, a missing child’s clothes are entirely. found folded neatly on a rock at 8000 feet in alti- My advice would be to dig up some of the tude. Once again, he’d begun in a valley, in the fascinating interviews he did on COAST TO trees, but his effects had been found above the COAST AM, available on You Tube. That’ll ei- tree line, at altitude. He was too young to have ther whet your interest or dullen you to the point done it, most agreed; it was a dangerous climb to of moving on to the next thing. reach the clothes, requiring rope and experience. He had no pitons or rope or experience, no cram- We readers of fiction, matters little what type, pons, no geologist or climber’s hammer. will be able to think of any number of wild-eyed notions to account for various details, of course, Most people, when lost in mountains, go but what’s needed is an empirical, rational expla- downhill. It is easier and makes more sense. nation for what’s happening with alarming fre- Paulides noted that this pattern featured people quency and regularity in National Parks and other apparently going steeply upslope. It made no wild areas, and maybe in cities, too — Paulides sense, along with so many other small details. has yet to examine the statistics and details in ur- He thinks, among other things, the NPS is ban areas, although increasing numbers of people keeping quiet the number and regularity of disap- urge him to do so — an explanation based on fact pearances so as not to panic people from visiting and rooted in on-site examinations of evidence. the parks. He also follows the evidence, which so Anecdotal evidence goes only so far, and wit- far leads him nowhere solid. Because of this he is nesses are notoriously unreliable. Everyone lies willing to hear out hair-brained theories such as pretty much constantly, even to themselves, so interdimensional UFO-spawned bigfoot ghosts or sorting truth from fantasy, confabulation, and Lemurians or what have you, hoping for at least a conflation is a matter of focusing past stories and sliver of insight, a thread to follow, some spark- on evidence, then interpreting that evidence in a ing of connections at random. manner consonant with physics and consistent The more one digs into these, the weirder with the experiences of those involved. It can be they get, and the more troubling. As with cattle 9 done, as Paulides knows from his police work. He you enter wilderness. Always let others know knows how it should be done, too; follow the evi- when, where, and how. Tell them when and dence, let it lead you, and always seek context. where to expect you and to start a search if you’re He gives no conclusions yet. Insufficient evi- not at the appointed spot at the arranged time. dence. What we have is often contradictory, baf- He states that no one who did those things has fling, and seemingly misleading. There seems an vanished, so far. Or so far as he’s been able to intelligence behind it, but only if the patterns find out. Still, they are good solid things to do in hold. So far, they have withstood every test he’s order to stay on the safe side of this compelling, made on them, as he patiently adds to his con- of still low-grade, mystery. firmed observations. /// “Demons are exorcised either directly, through Why the NPS and FBI are so hostile toward the prattle of banishment by true believers, the sharing what is by law public information may dupes of the religion scam, or indirectly, by ig- seem to be a provocative hint at conspiracy but noring them outright, or by turning them into remember, idiots are often obstinate. Incompe- charming little nothings. The Krampus into the tence rules. There is no such thing as “the govern- Grinch is a good example of such a transforma- ment”, only separate fiefdoms, lone martinets, tion, or the banshee into Tinkerbell.” and drudges stamping and filing. One right /  winger in the mix can suffice to destroy an entire well-funded, enthusiastically-backed program. When asked about how many people vanished from Yosemite in an average year, or how many had done so in the past decade, the NPS official responded that it did not keep such records. “Then how do you know when to call in profes- sionals, or whether a certain area might be too dangerous to have open to the public?” They answered, “We rely on institutional memory.” Paulides pointed out that the average worker in NPS lasts under 7 years. This got no reply. It’s obvious that the obstinance displayed is at least in part entrenched in supreme indifference and ossified ignorance. When he confronted the FBI about why they would not share records he knows they have, an agent sneered, “You’ll never find out what we know, so drop it, forget it if you know what’s good for you.” Well, uh, no. That’s not how it works. Not yet. Not until the GOP consolidation-of-power coup happens on TV, at any rate. Keep in mind, Paulides is not stirring up trou- Cthulhu for president! ble. He is systematically looking into a situation that appears to present a clear and present danger Because . . . Why not? to anyone visiting a National or State Park or other wilderness area. He advises to carry a Think about all the other choices weapon, sufficient supplies, and a GPS with extra batteries, along with a cellular phone, every time

10 His Name Was Lulu by Sheryl Birkhead

Oops. Let me explain the title. The SPCA any obvious abdominal masses, which in a cat took in cat named Lulu from the county shelter. would most likely be lymphoma. Unfortunately his name was Lulu, so that got I arranged the referral and planned on changed very quickly. Being a dapper tuxedo, the meeting the foster with Sean at the referral prac- foster re-named him Sean Connery. The first tice at 11 a.m. the Thursday before Memorial name was to haunt the organization since there Day. I really hate traffic congestion and this was had been two Lulus at the shelter—both tuxedos going to be nasty! and caged next to each other—one male and one Bright and early on my way. female. Sean’s records are consistently of questionable use—weight seems wrong, microchip Three miles from my destination I came number is wrong and sex on his rabies certificate back to driving reality with a jolt. I was boxed in is wrong. by fast moving trucks. It was raining. The dashboard brake light was on as well as the check So, the foster hoped that a nice name engine light. I was in the left hand lane and had to change would be a self-fulfilling prophecy. The make a turn. Put on the turn signal and— information on him said he was somewhere be- whoops—it was like trying to turn a tank. I tween 4-8 years old. When the foster brought in lightly tapped the brakes (hoping madly that other two recent shelter releases, one 12- 13 years old drivers could see it and having no real idea if and one 4-8 years old. I guessed wrong. He they—lights and brakes—were working). I had looked that old. that mighty butterflies feeling and persisted in My first glimpse of him had ADR in neon letting the car slow down on its own in case the lights over his head—Ain’t Doin’ Right. That brakes really were not working. Okay. Slide happened to be exactly the way the foster de- slowly and gently around the turn, straighten out scribed him, something very wrong but what? and ignore anyone else. Just keep on moving. Fast forward six months. I had hoped all he Sometime around this point I felt I had needed was the quiet of a home and good vittles stopped breathing (like that was going to help) to gain a few pounds and stop looking so un- and just kept moving. I kept the car in the lane kempt and scrawny. Not going to happen. He did and hoped (since I was actually doing the speed gain 2 pounds but still looked miserable. The fos- limit I was slowing down traffic but—tough) no- ter said he was really a happy and friendly cat, body was going to cut in front of me as I was just looked awful. worried about how much was going to be re- I found several things on the physical quired to actually stop, other than an impact of exam that concerned me and we set out to deter- course. mine if any of them was contributing to his ADR I pulled into the parking lot and just sat status. All simple lab work looked almost okay, there. I turned the engine off. I turned the engine certainly nothing to account for such an abnormal back on. The warning lights came back on. Drat! condition. I had the foster set up an appointment I had hoped they would miraculously self-heal. I with a dentist to see if the minor issues I could turned the engine back off again and sat taking actually see were reflecting much worse pathol- deep breaths for a few minutes. I have all my old ogy below the gum-line. In the meantime, we de- repair bills, so I pulled the file out and found the cided to have an ultrasound done to see if he had Subaru dealership number, dragged out my emer-

11 gency cell phone and called. bration! YES! Go for it. I have plastic! Sit a lot A new representative answered and I tried more.\ to explain what was happening. I said that all I It is now four months later. I have been pretty really wanted to know was, with the symptoms I good to my word. I took the ranked list of needed was describing, was the car actually safe to drive? repairs and each time that coupon for $40 off has He asked how far. I guesstimated 6 miles. He arrived, I have gotten work done. There are only countered ( I felt as if we were in a bidding war) two items left and most of the charged bills have with, do you feel safe? I snapped back, “No! but been covered. The next visit to be routinely that is not what I am asking you. I’ll see you one scheduled will include a complete look with an- bout of terror and raise you driving against traffic other list of things that need doing. I can hope it to get to you. There was a slight pause and he will be a non-existent list, but who am I kidding? said he thought it might be (well maybe, but Last visit for the car was irritating in that the maybe not) safe to slowly and carefully drive that laptop ac adapter refused to work with any of the distance. Oh yeah—against traffic, the holiday plugs in the waiting area so it was lost time even drivers trying to get out of town early were going though I came prepared. to love that! Sean, at his last checkup, had actually lost Being a professional, I told him that as soon more weight. Ironically, he looked better and just as the diagnostics were done I would do my best felt better all over, so the therapy for chronic pan- to get there. creatitis seems to be working. I’d be happier if he Fast forward ( for those interested, Sean was would pork up a bit but I’ll settle for appearing cleared of possible lymphoma). I was right in happier and acting healthier. Now, if only the car thinking the problem was in/around his digestive would . . . tract and the results were consistent with chronic pancreatitis. Quickly went over it with the foster, making sure she was aware that diabetes was very possible if this could not be managed, said my goodbyes and went back out into the rain to lunch hour traffic and a slow but steady crawl toward the repair shop. I ignored the honking and nasty looks and stuck to very slow and steady. Once back at the Subaru garage I just flagged down a rep with Mike on his name tag, babbled a bit, then went in to the waiting area to sit. I have learned the hard way that Subarus (or at least mine) are better repaired at the dealership and that (those) was (were) expensive fixes compared to routine (cheaper) repairs done locally. But, I usually have some warning and take the laptop and reading material. This was a complete surprise and all I could do was just sit there and sit and sit . . . I had planned on a routine visit in about two weeks. So much for that idea. Well, there was good news and bad news. The work to get me back on the road would be about $450, but they had also located four other items that really needed attention soon. My imagination had lead me to a bill of thousands (not going to happen). So a mere $450 was cause for cele-

12 CHILDREN OF THE FLOOD: The Coming Space , by Alfred D. Byrd

In this series’ first article, I began to look at a conspiracy buff, I’d write about that agency, but underground cities as a solution to population I’m here to write about underground cities. There growth worsened by loss of habitable land are dozens of examples of these, but your eyes, through the oceans’ rise due to global warming. dear reader, would glaze before I mentioned them Living underground lets us humans use the sur- all, so let me pick out for you four examples illus- face for farming or nature preserves, and space trating the history and scope of underground cit- below the surface for all of our other activities. ies and suggesting what may be done with such Living underground saves energy used on the sur- cities of the future. face to heat and cool structures exposed to atmospheric changes. Living underground shields us from inclement weather. Last, living underground let us replace space lost to the seas’ expansion. What’s not to like about living underground but all of the things that skeptics of living underground don’t like? At the article’s end, I mentioned that underground cities already exist and have long existed If you doubt me, Google “underground cities” and see just how many there are or have been. Underground cities’ construction has been driven by many motivations, all of which will go on ap- plying in a world of global warming and rising Derinkuyu seas. Defense from hostile fellow humans, shelter Your tour of space and time starts in the cen- from inclement climates, convenient means of tral highlands of what’s now Turkey. That region, linking and traveling between surface structures, classically known as Cappadocia, lies over vast, storage in an environment of constant tempera- deep beds of soft volcanic rock ideal for tunnel- ture and humidity—all of these have sent builders ing. Early Cappadocians called Phrygians began down the rabbit hole. Let’s not forget that under- digging houses in suitable outcrops of the vol- ground farming is a growing concern. I’d even canic rock around 700 B. C. E.; then the Phry- say that it’s mushrooming were I not committing gians’ successors began to build true underground the unpardonable pun. cities that would go on being inhabited until just Underground cities, as defined by one crite- after World War One, when first the Ottomans rion or another, exist on all of the earth’s five in- and then the Young Turks forced troglodytes to habited continents. Wait, I’m forgetting Antarc- surface. (Yes, Skeptic, if you move underground, tica, which has an underground city at the South unkind persons will call you a Trog.) These cities, Pole! Is a secret international agency already pre- growing more complex with time, held, besides paring for West Antarctica’s settlement? If I were 13 living quarters, facilities such as wine and oil inkuyu was only intermittently used while the presses, stables, cellars, and storage chambers. Ottoman Empire was religiously tolerant. From These cities were used mainly as refuges 1909 to 1923, however, Cappadocian Greeks (kataphugia, ‘under-fleeing-land,’ the Greeks again fled to Derinkuyu during resurgent Islam- called them) in times of social instability or war- ism in the late Ottoman Empire, during World fare, but, as these were frequent and prolonged in War One, and during a wave of religious persecu- Cappadocia (the Middle East was violent long tion by the Young Turks. Kamel Ataturk won, the before 1948, sad to say), these cities were used Cappadocian Greeks lost, and Derinkuyu is now a often. In time, networks of tunnels often several tourist spot. miles long connected them. One underground What would you see if you went there? Much, city, Gaziemir, a stop on the Silk Road, even had as the place is seventy yards deep and runs for an underground caravanserai where both camel- miles. That it was made for long-term living ap- eers and camels lodged in comfort. pears in cafeterias for the inhabitants, chapels, a I heard you say, “Hilton in a hole,” Skeptic! large, barrel-vaulted chamber used as a religious “Yeah, yeah,” you say, “Turkey had underground school, and, deepest underground of all, a cross- cities, but what’s this Derinkuyu of yours?” shaped church. A vertical staircase and a ventila- I’m glad of your asking me that question, tion shaft doubling as a well are remarkable fea- Skeptic, as Derinkuyu is the largest and most tures of the city. Its entrances could be sealed off elaborate of the Cappadocian cities. (I say, “is,” at need, likely frequent, by massive round stones because, though it’s just now uninhabited, it’s as running in channels. ready to receive refugees as it ever was.) In its What lessons from Derinkuyu might apply to heyday, Derinkuyu was a full-service city where underground cities of our future? First, that suffi- as many as 20,000 inhabitants lived, worked, and cient need can drive humans to make and sustain worshiped without seeing daylight. them. Second, that they don’t need advanced lev- Like many other things in the Middle East, els of technology. Third, that they can meet their Derinkuyu was born in religious warfare. During inhabitants’ cultural needs. the Arab invasion of the Byzantine Empire that Fourth, I suppose, is that they can and may started in 780 C. E. under the Abbasid Caliphate even have to maintain a relationship with the sur- of Baghdad (Haroun al-Rashid and his kin) and face. The Cappadocian Greeks could do much in lasted until 1180, Greek Orthodox Christians ex- Derinkuyu, but lacked means to grow crops or panded earlier Phrygian digs into a sprawling five raise livestock underground, as we might do now. -level complex linked to other underground cities. Derinkuyu had to get its food from grain stored Cappadocian Greeks kept using the refuge after before the refuge was inhabited, from clandestine Alp Arslan had greased the Byzantines in the Bat- trade with the surface, or from furtive forays to tle of Manzikert, when the Turks moved in to farm, forage, or raid on a landscape run by the stay. (Why am I suddenly thinking of Prince Val- city’s foe. Our future underground cities will be iant?) For the next few centuries, during the Otto- closer to being self sufficient than Derinkuyu man-Byzantine wars and the Mongol invasion of was, as, for them, underground farming will be a Cappadocia under Timur the Lame, Derinkuyu reality. was almost continuously inhabited. After Con- They’ll also have electric lighting, air condi- stantinople fell to Mehmet the Conqueror (and I tioning, running water and sewage, and a host of do understand that it’s nobody’s business but the other modern amenities, as we’ll see next. Turks’ that they now call the city Istanbul), Der-

14 against it. If arty and bombers couldn’t have sof- tened up the line, grunts and tanks would likely have been cannon fodder against it. Of course, for the line to be held, infantry and artillerists had to hold it. Hence, an underground city. Most of the troops that would have held the line in a renewed war with Germany were reserv- ists living in Alsace-Lorraine and active-duty troops stationed in surface barracks behind the line. Even in peacetime, however, several battalions of troops manned the line. In wartime, thousands of additional troops would have joined The Maginot Line them in it. Troops there enjoyed quarters better, some of them said, than anything that they Before I can get a word out, Skeptic cries out, could’ve afforded in Paris. “Hey, didn’t you talk of that in the first article?” In the Maginot Line, the French built a fully I did, Skeptic, but there’s much more to be functional underground city integrating state-of- said of the Maginot Line than I said there. the art technology. Hardened bunkers held sev- Like Derinkuyu, the Maginot Line arose from eral habitable levels made comfortable by recent inter-human conflict, in this case militant nation- inventions such as air conditioning and electric alism that rove the earth during World War One lighting. Each of these bunkers held spacious dor- and is sadly still not extinct. Longing to avoid a mitories and cafeterias, rec rooms, cinemas, hos- second enormity of the loss of life in the late pitals, and storerooms for all that soldiers would war’s trenches, the French chose in the 1930’s to need to endure a long siege. Each bunker had its invest massive resources in an impregnable bar- own self-contained power station and ventilation rier to keep the Germans out of the motherland in system. Bunkers could be sealed from the outside the future. After all, defense always gives you an world, not by stone doors as Derinkuyu had been, advantage in dice rolls, and breastworks form a but by atmospheric overpressure to exclude poi- multiplier for that advantage. Just think of the son gas. advantage that the Maginot Line would give you! The bunkers, either petits ouvrages for com- Yeah, it would’ve given the French that ad- panies of 100 or 200 soldiers, or grands ouvrages vantage if only they’d run the line on along their for battalions of 500 or regiments of 1,000, were Luxembourgeois and Belgian border to La Man- linked by a complete, hardened telephone system, che, as the French unaccountably call the English by a network of underground narrow-gauge rail- Channel. In World War Two, as I said in the first roads (read “subways”), and by an elaborate sys- article, the line became a boondoggle for the tem of water purification, distribution, and sew- French when the Germans sidestepped it through age. Yes, if you have the military’s budget, you the Ardennes. In any case, for this article, I fea- can build a pharaonic wonder. ture the Maginot Line, not as a military fortifica- The Maginot Line was largely abandoned by tion, but as a model underground city. the French after DeGaulle chose La Force de In its time, the Maginot Line was an engineer- Frappe. Why does this make me think of a cap- ing marvel, impervious to any artillery or aerial puccino garnished with a mushroom cloud? Any- bombardment that the Germans could’ve thrown way, as the line’s French engineers built like the

15 pharaohs for all of time, the line is intact. Parts of RÉSO, also called Ville Souterraine, grew it are in use, as I mentioned in the first article, as rather than was planned, but is no less impressive cellars for French wine, but the whole of it could for its (shall we say?) organic nature. The net- easily be refitted to house Children of the Flood, work began with an underground mall built in the if it comes. I think that they’d prefer it to Der- early 60’s and swelled when the city, hoping to inkuyu. dazzle the world with Expo 67 (hence, the Mont- What lesson does the Maginot Line hold for real Expos, baseball fans), built its subway sys- future underground cities? A simple one: that the tem, the Metro. Six stations of this formed a com- city be built with state-of-art engineering integrat- plex with a major hotel and an office tower, inter ing all systems needed for citizens’ survival and alia, and an outlying station formed a complex comfort. (“Simple to say, but not to do,” Skeptic with the city’s stock exchange. The city encour- mutters.) We’ll see that lesson at work in our next aged the complexes’ growth by granting entrepre- underground city. neurs leases to build commercial complexes above Metro stations. In time, the construction of an underground pedestrian concourse linked the growing complexes into a single complex that has just kept growing with the addition to it of hotels, office towers, and shopping malls. RÉSO’s heart is a network of tunnels, but these, through air conditioning and lighting, are reportedly (sorry, folks, I haven’t made it yet to Montreal) as comfortable as any of the interior living space above them is, and are at any rate more comfortable than being outdoors in a Cana- dian winter is. RÉSO lets locals and visitors walk RÉSO through the city in shirt-sleeved comfort when the temperature outdoors may be the same in Fahren- On to Canada, where winters make the ones heit and Celsius. (As Arthur C. Clarke, I believe, that I faced at Michigan State University look like once wrote, “Water has frozen out of the air, but balmy spring days. In Canada, climate has driven not carbon dioxide.” You’ll correct me if I mis- locals to build vast enclosed complexes com- quoted him, won’t you, Skeptic?) The pedestrian posed of tunnels, underground and aboveground tunnels aren’t mere passageways, but places of buildings, and skywalks. For many Canadians, business, as many of them are lined with shops the future is today. and restaurants enlivened with artwork. Visitors Many Canadian cities have villes interieures, to Montreal, I’ve read, sometimes can’t tell as Francophones like to call these complexes, but whether they’re underground or on the surface. the largest of them—indeed, the world’s largest The underworld is linked to this by skylights and —is in Montreal. Called RÉSO (the acronym re- by more than a hundred and twenty publicly- calls the French reseau, ‘network’), it comprises accessible entrances. These should keep security over twenty miles of tunnels linking much of guards from turning downtown Montreal into a downtown and outlying areas into what’s in ef- police state, shouldn’t they, Skeptic? fect one giant building, which is almost an arcol- ogy and could with tweaking become one.

16 “So what? No one actually lives full time in Many of Coober Pedy’s other residents prefer RÉSO, and we’re facing global warming, not an to live underground in three-room dugouts. With Ice Age, if you haven’t heard the news.” sealant on their rock walls to reduce dust, dugouts give the residents a year-round constant tempera- Good points, Skeptic. Soon, I’ll take you to a ture needing no air-conditioning when tempera- place that will answer both of your objections. tures reach 40C (add sixty-four to get the tem- Let me first, however, list lessons that RÉSO perature in Fahrenheit, mate) outdoors on sum- holds for future underground cities. First, in a mer afternoons. The same imperative has moved modern world, a workable underground city cen- the city’s residents to build an underground shop- ters on public transportation. Second, wise city ping complex, the centerpiece of which is a jew- planners strive to make underground cities spa- elry shop selling opals, and a pair of underground churches. Shades of Derinkuyu! One of the cious, attractive, and livable. Third, an under- churches is, strange to say in town of less than ground city needs to be fully integrated with the two thousand persons in Australia’s outback, Ser- surface world. bian Orthodox. I can only imagine how hard life Now, let me take you to where our fellow hu- was in Serbia when, in the early 1900’s, a congre- mans live underground to beat the heat. gation’s worth of Serbians left the cool green hills of their earth for the setting of Mad Max Beyond Coober Pedy Thunderdome. I’m not being facetious here (though maybe in other places), dear reader. When you watch that movie, you’ll see Coober Pedy. I wonder whether one could really raise hogs underground there to generate renewable fuel, or whether Mad Max’s scatological response to Auntie Entity aptly describes Master-Blaster’s underworld en- terprise. Yes, it would be wonderful for an underground city to be self-sufficient in energy, would- n’t it? What other lesson can we learn about underground cities from Coober Pedy? Mainly this: that, if opal miners can beat the heat by burrow- We go now to Australia’s Outback, where ing underground in Coober Pedy, underground resolute miners have made Coober Pedy “the opal cities can help the rest of us humans beat global capital of the world.” Here, by South Australia’s warming. laws, reminiscent of the Wild West’s, each mine The Coming Space must be claimed and worked by an individual Now that I’ve discussed the need for under- miner. Rather than face the Outback’s rigors, ground cites and shown you four models for many of the miners have chosen to live in their them, it’s time for me to show you a future under- mines. From a miner’s bed, a miner can dig opals at one moment, eat or watch TV the next, and ground city — sleep the moment after that. Civilized, wouldn’t Oops, I’ve run out of space for this ish! you say? I wonder whether, in Red Mars, Arkady Someday, then, if all goes well, I’ll take you to a Bogdanov was thinking of Coober Pedy’s miners kataphugia based on the principles that I’ve enu- when he proposed that living space in Mars’s first merated in the first two articles of Children of the habitat, Underhill, merge work, recreation, and Flood. rest.

24 The Crotchety Critic Michaele Jordan

Seveneves by slowly but relentlessly in exquisite detail. I suspect his research ex- Neal Stephenson tended all the way to grad student All the time I was reading Neal theses on astrophysics, so thor- Stephenson’s S e v e n e v e s oughly has he explored how such a (HarperCollins Publishers, 2015, thing could happen, what the conse- NY), I was making mental notes on quences—immediate, short term and what I might say about it in this re- long term—could be, and what pos- view. My thoughts ran something sible responses humanity could con- like this: trive to such a situation. We’ve all read books and seen movies about the end of the world. The human responses all read as Seveneves presents us with a new truthfully as the science. There are twist. The very first line (and so not those who would say that disaster really a spoiler) reads, “The moon brings out the best in people, as they blew up without warning, and for no rise to the occasion. There are those apparent reason.” who would say it brings out our worst, as people scramble for survival at any cost. And because we’ve all read books and seen Stephenson includes both options, plus multiple movies about the end of the world, we breathe a variations in between. And, of course, a really little sigh of relief that it’s ‘only’ the moon that large scale disaster always brings out the politi- blew up. So do all the main characters. The book cians. spends the first twenty-five pages introducing the This authenticity, scientific and psychologi- primary cast, many of whom are associated (at cal, makes this book one of the darkest, scariest least politically) with NASA or the International things I have ever read. Space Station. Scientists, news-casters and politi- That’s what I would have said as I ap- cians alike call for calm, and work on presenting proached the end of Part Two. The book is ar- the public with a non-threatening spin. The re- ranged in three parts. Part One flows smoothly maining pieces of the moon, still bobbing in the into Part Two. Part Two culminates in an am- sky like a bunch of balloons, are given cutesy biguous, thought provoking scene that arises names. Not until Chapter Three does the book, its naturally out of the story so far with a grimly nu- characters or the reader begin to assess possible anced inevitability. I read it, paused on the last repercussions. word and heaved that slow sigh of satisfaction that follows the last page of a really good book. It But there are repercussions, dire repercus- ought to have been the end. Except it wasn’t. sions. Most apocalyptic novels give you a big Part Three does not flow smoothly out of Part smash bang, and then move on to the human con- Two. It takes place at a great distance from Part dition or whatever remains thereof. Not Stephen- Two, and as such it needs a great deal of new ex- son's. From the beginning, his story remains fo- position. Coming as it did, just after a moment cused on the destruction of the moon and its that felt like the end, reading it was a lot more ramifications, and is made compelling by his re- work than the original exposition had been. Al- fusal to look away. The catastrophe unfolds though it contained a great deal of exciting tech-

25 nology, it still felt like a slog. It took 150 pages to That wasn’t my takeaway, but I see his point.) get back to anything like a story. Why am I talking about the point of Blind- Nor was the new story arc anywhere near as sight? Because it went beyond dark and scary. It enveloping as that of the previous two parts. designated our whole culture, our history, our as- (Okay, fair is fair. It’s hard to top the upcoming pirations and all our personal identities as mean- end of the world.) Despite the above-mentioned ingless. This is not a message most science fic- exciting technology, Part Three is not as solidly tion fans want to hear. And Seveneves, at least up grounded scientifically, being less concerned with through the end of Part Two, comes very close to astrophysics and macro-scale engineering, which the same message. It doesn’t suggest that intelli- are there primarily for show, than with genetics. gence is an evolutionary cul-de-sac. It doesn’t And, while I do not accuse Mr. Stephenson of have to. It does suggest that human life itself is getting his genetics wrong, they are clearly not pretty meaningless. his strong suit. He does not wield them as deftly We all know that humanity is small potatoes or imaginatively as he did the space sciences, on a cosmic scale, but we don’t worry about that and—while I repeat, I don’t say he got them much, because we don’t routinely look at any- wrong—some of his conclusions are visibly argu- thing on the cosmic scale. Mr. Stephenson forces able. us look at the cosmic scale, and look hard. It is So are some of the developments in the story. not a comfortable viewpoint. Which is why I be- There are moments when it feels a bit contrived. lieve that HarperCollins ordered Mr. Stephenson Nor does Part Three lead to a conclusive moment to tack on a more positive take at the end. that the readers will perceive as the end, even be- I am not declining to recommend this book. It fore they turn that last page and find it blank. Part has much to offer. Neal Stephenson fans (of Three doesn’t really end. It just stops. which I am one) will not want to miss his latest I have a hunch that Part Three was an after- work. But I do issue a warning that Seveneves, thought. I can almost see Mr. Stephenson ap- although ambitious, is not his best work. There proaching his publisher with a finished manu- are serious structural flaws, and the ending— script, concluding at the end of Part Two, and be- whatever you may think of it—wanders off from ing told by HarperCollins Publishers, “No. You the beginning. But I’m not sorry I read it, and I call that an ending? Go home a write a better end- don’t think you will be either. ing.” In 2006 Blindsight (Tor Books) by Peter  Watts was nominated for a Hugo. You could ar- gue that the mere fact of the nomination proved A novel you’ll likely never see.* that somebody liked it. But I certainly couldn’t Reboot and Reset find them. Everybody I talked to hated it—and I A sort of SF novel with some questionable talked to a lot of people. I was very excited about science. The multiverse, ours and a few odd bits the Hugos that year. It was very well thought of off to one side that few people ever notice goes critically. It was well written and well thought kablooey when God gets disgusted and decides to out. But it wasn’t popular. get rid of everything and start all over again and Blindsight was dark and scary. The ending maybe get right. was bleak. The philosophical message was very Chapter One. “That’s it! I’ve had enough,” plain: our much-vaunted intelligence is an evolu- said God. “They’re dumber than a box of rocks tionary dead end. It’s like a peacock’s tail, a de- and STILL can’t get along with each over. ” He velopment that started out as useful but was snapped his fingers and—there was nothing, only blown so far put of proportion as to be almost a void. God smiled in satisfaction. “At last! Peace joke. It hasn’t given us a genuine advantage and quiet for a while. I need to take more time to since the early Neolithic or before. (My husband think over what I want to try. It’s time for a nap says I’ve missed the point—that Mr. Watts was anyway. A thousand years should be enough.” saying that consciousness itself is an illusion. * Thank your lucky stars for that.

26 The Guts Of Starship Troopers

by Robin Bright

Science fiction writer, Robert A. Heinlein for the US bombing Japan`s cities, although the (1907-88), wrote his juvenile novel for boys, fear in the post-atomic bomb age was that Earth`s Starship Troopers (1959), about spiders that lived cities would be destroyed by the Americans. Con- on a planet far away from Earth`s solar system sequently, the fate of South American, Juan amongst the stars. The novel narrates how Juan `Johnnie` Rico, is an appeal to the Earth for belief Rico, a citizen of Argentina`s Buenos Aires, be- in North America`s defense of America. How- comes a `starship trooper` fighting the spiders ever, that`s only plausible if men aren`t spider and traces his development from being a member correlates. In the Bible snakes are depicted as evil of a platoon, `Rasczak`s Roughnecks` to being correlatives, but for Heinlein the `fallen angel`, the leader of the same troop, `Rico`s Rough- Satan, and the `rebel angels` expelled from necks`. In the Hollywood film of the story, Star- heaven by God, were spiders: ship Troopers (1997), there are vivid scenes of `You will be as gods.` (Gen: 3. 5) pilots, who`re described as `mothers`, dropping In the Bible Satan is the angel, who rejected their `boys` onto the spider planets, where they God`s plan that the human host should be greater fight against the arachnids, which deploy their bio than the angelic host, and was turned into a ser- -technological warfare against the Earthmen in pent by God and left in the paradise of Eden, successive battles: where Satan tempted Eve with the `fruit of the `Anyone who clings to the historically untrue tree of the knowledge of good and evil`, that is, and thoroughly immoral doctrine that violence death, whereas God had given to Eve and the first never settles anything I would advise to conjure man, Adam, the `fruit of the tree of life`, which up the ghosts of Napoleon Bonaparte and the was immortality. Eve and Adam were expelled Duke of Wellington and let them debate it. The from Eden by God, who told Eve Redemption ghost of Hitler could referee and the jury might would occur, but Adam must labor, while Eve well be the Dodo, the Great Auk, and the Passen- would have labor pain: ger Pigeon. Violence, naked force, has settled `You shall crush the head of the serpent with more issues in history than has any other factor, your foot, although he shall bruise your heel.` and the contrary opinion is wishful thinking at its (Gen: 3. 15) worst. Breeds that forget this basic truth have al- In Christian iconography Jesus` birth from ways paid for it with their lives and their free- his mother, the Virgin Mary, is depicted as Mary doms.`1 crushing the head of the serpent, that is, Jesus un- Although there isn`t a victorious climax for contaminated by male semen is Mary`s `foot`, the men of Earth, Heinlein forges a tacit under- which accords with Jesus` association with the standing with the reader that success is achiev- Redemption, Resurrection and Ascension of able. The belief is literally forged in the sense of `woman`s seed`. As futanarian women have their `fake`, because the spiders are analogous to what own penis` semen and host wombs for the sexual Earthmen do to the Earth. The destruction of reproduction of women`s brainpower for libera- Buenos Aires reflects on the erasing of the Japa- tion from host womb slavery in parasitism to nese cities of Nagasaki and Hiroshima on August men, that is, the `serpent`s seed`, so Jesus is their 6 and 9, 1945, when the United States of America prefiguration, and is symbolized in Christianity as dropped the atomic bombs, `Little Boy` and `Fat Mary`s `foot` crushing the head of the slaver, Sa- Man`. Rico`s story isn`t couched as an apology tan.

27 In Starship Troopers the mothers dropping The civilian does not.`3 their boys onto the spider worlds are extrapola- Heinlein was criticized for depicting a Ro- tions of Jesus` mother, the Virgin Mary, deliver- man social structure that inculcated the belief ing Jesus as God`s `foot` to crush the spider, Sa- through classes on `History and Moral Philoso- tan. Because all the futanarian race of women are phy` that societal responsibility required individ- virgins without their own penis` semen, the ual sacrifice, and the conferring of citizenship `boys` and the boys` sons, that is, the fathers in through military service; `the franchise is today heaven amongst the stars in interstellar war with limited to discharged veterans`. The book was the spiders, are the mothers` `poisons` deployed rejected by publisher, Scribners, which had pub- in `biological warfare` against the arachnids` bio- lished all Heinlein`s previous juveniles since technology, because that`s what parasites do. Rocketship Galileo (1947), and G. P. Putnam's Eve`s story in the Bible is parasitological. The Sons` editor, Peter Israel, finally bought it and serpent, Satan, is a `parasitoid` creature that in- approved àdult` revisions: veigles itself into the host womb of the futanarian `Let's let the readers decide who likes it.`4 human race of women to steal their penis` semen The `drop`, in which boys and boys` sons, and emerge there from in order to devour the hu- that is, the fathers as `poisons`, fight alongside man species. In despite of the parasite`s depreda- each other as nondescripts is more in line with the tions, the civilization, culture and art women are Greek model of democracy, which institutional- perforce able to produce from their host wombs is ized homosexuality in pederasty for war and the their painful labor, which God told Eve will result spread of its contagions through host womb en- in Redemption. When the human host, Jesus, at slavement of the human race of futanarian what came to be known as the `Last Supper`, `woman`s seed`. By the late 20th century men gave `bread and wine`, as symbols of his `body had succeeded in perfecting their `biological and blood`, to his disciples, Judas betrayed him as weapon` of HIV/AIDS as an ìncurable killer dis- a `dissident` to the Empire of Rome then occupy- ease` spread by mixing blood, shit and semen in ing Jewish Palestine, because Jesus` teaching was each others` anuses in mockery of human sexual human futanarian, rather than conquest through reproduction, which is why Starship Troopers invasion by devouring `parasitoid`: depicts men fighting spiders, because spiders are `Love your neighbour as you love yourself.` analogous to the HIV/AIDS` biological warfare (Mk: 12. 31) waged by men against humanity: Jesus was offering conversion and repentance `Men cursed the God of heaven for their pains through the brain transformation of metanoia to and their sores, but refused to repent of what they the disciples, which persists as a Christian ritual had done.` (Rev: 16. 11) in the transubstantiation symbolism of the church In the siege of Troy, as related by the Greek in which the petitioner receives `bread and wine` poet Homer in his Iliad (760-10 B.C.), the Greeks from the official in the hope that acceptance of deployed a huge hollow wooden horse, which futanarian human `woman`s seed` will remove was taken into the city by the unsuspecting Tro- men`s sin of host womb enslavement of the race jans, and the Greeks emerged to enslave the hu- in parasitsm for homosexuality in pederasty and man futanarian host wombs of the women to in- war against the species of women. In Starship stitutionalize homosexuality in pederasty and Troopers Sergeant Rico meets his father, Corpo- spread their contagions of war and plague further. ral Rico, and the pair find themselves aboard the By the 21st century, the `geek` successors to the Rodger Young2 vessel waiting to `drop` on the Greeks were devising `bad machine code` they spider planet, Klendathu, and leads his platoon, called `Trojan horses` to infect computer brains `Rico`s Roughnecks`, with his father amongst the after the fashion of the HIV/AIDS` plague. The `boys`: `Trojan horse` viruses killed the computer brain À soldier accepts personal responsibility for technology that could save human labor. Com- the safety of the body politic of which he is a puter brain death would keep the human race of member, defending it, if need be, with his life. futanarian women`s host wombs enslaved in

28 blind unconscious ignorance. If the ‘geeks’ reproduce without men constitutes a threat to slowed the processors, men couldn’t appear viral men’s proselytizing the ‘Greek’ democratic to the futanarian race of ‘woman’s seed’ enabled model. A 50-50 division between ‘lesbian’ by adult ‘edutainment’ through the information women, who’re equal with homosexual men, and superhighway of the internet. Because the fu- a transvestite that, with a single male brain wear- tanarian human race of ‘woman`s seed’ is virile, ing each others’ clothes, passes for heterosexual men were lame braining the species’ progress to normality amongst those watching themselves as extinction, so the parasites could continue to en- a ‘TV’ in ‘snuff video’ histographies, is what the slave the human host for the ‘parasitoid’ wars alien vote is for: against ‘woman’s seed’, which is how men dem- ‘Mystery, Babylon the great, mother of har- onstrate their virility—as demons: lots and of the abominations of the Earth.’ (Rev: ‘I always get the shakes before a drop. I’ve 17. 5) had the injections, of course, and hypnotic prepa- Although described as ‘a woman’ in the Bi- ration, and it stands to reason that I can’t really be ble, Babylon (c. 4000 B.C.), was the capital city afraid. The ship’s psychiatrist has checked my of the male brained Persian Empire, that is, a brain waves and asked me silly questions while I Middle Eastern version of the Greek model for was asleep and he tells me that it isn’t fear, it isn’t Western democracy in which the human fu- anything important—it’s just like the trembling of tanarian race of women’s host wombs were en- an eager race horse in the starting gate. I couldn’t slaved for the spread of homosexuality in peder- say about that; I’ve never been a race horse. But asty for war against ‘woman’s seed’. The West the fact is: I’m scared silly, every time.’5 developed along Judeo-Christian lines, whereas Dropped on the planet of the spiders, Klen- the East was Moslem Islam in which the birth of dathu, Rico and his father are ‘boys’, sons of the Ishmael from the maid of Abraham’s wife, Sara, mothers, that is, ‘poisons’ waging ‘biological who was barren after the birth of Isaac, is the ba- warfare’ against their correlatives, the spiders, sis for the polygamous marriages with four wives who’re fictional extrapolations of men’s war in the East. Islam provides the basis for fu- against eight legged futanarian human sexual re- tanarian human sexual reproduction between production between women. In the misogyny of women and so an Eastern model for a democracy racist homosexuality and pederasty’s alien para- that isn’t ‘Greek’, which is Islam’s contribution site wars against ‘woman’s seed’, human sexual to religious teaching after the ‘chosen people’ of reproduction is despised as a ‘spider’ with eight the Jews’ Old Testament based on the Torah and legs, that is, futanarian women’s sexual inter- Talmud, that is, the history and law of the Jews course is an eight limbed creature ridiculed as a before Jesus’ New Testament, whose ‘law’ was ‘spider’ by the parasite that only breeds to repli- ‘love’. cate itself for more wars against the human race. In Judaism it isn’t possible to be born a Jew Although there are other varieties of human gen- unless from a woman, which means women are der, for example, women with lactating breasts as Jews. Consequently, Islam, which is based on the well as penis, but without vaginas, the term Koran (610-30 C.E.) of the Prophet Mohamed, ‘spider’ is applied by men of the ‘serpent’s seed’ and contains the stories of Abraham and Jesus, in homosexuality and pederasty’s host womb en- continues the hopes for the love of ‘woman’s slavement to human sexual reproduction, which seed’, whereas Jews and Christians are encour- isn’t theirs. aged by history and Hollywood Babylon propa- According to men’s own mass media ganda to see the people of the Middle East as ‘edutainment`, which keeps humans in censored evil, because they prefer religious dictatorships. blind unconscious ignorance of the ‘snuff movie’ Hollywood effectively prevented women from history they perpetrate upon humanity as enter- sexually reproducing with each other by estab- tainment for their big ‘homosexual’ aliens, men lishing the ‘Hays code’ (1930-67), which damned can’t sexually reproduce without women. Conse- God’s futanarian ‘woman’s seed` in favor of re- quently, the discovery that women can sexually production of the alien ‘serpent’s seed’ by keep-

29 ing humanity in blind ignorance and unconscious- they’ve paid a high price for it …’7 ness: ‘... women, in love scenes, at all times have In Islam’s Koran Jesus doesn’t die, but has at least one foot on the floor’ (in other words, no Ascension to heaven, whereas in Christianity Je- love scenes in bed).`6 sus’ Ascension to heaven illustrates Resurrection, Despite the emergence in National Socialist although as ‘woman’s seed’ Jesus’ Resurrection (Nazi) Germany in 1933 of a Christian leader, and Ascension prefigures that of women’s fu- Adolf Hitler, who pogromed the Jews, and the tanarian humanity’s capacity to raise themselves ‘rape camps’ of the Serb Christian militia during through the sexual reproduction of their own the Bosnian war (1992-5) in which a generation brainpower. Because the Christian church sees of Moslems were male brained. According to the crucifixion as Redemption, it’s Satanic, because it Bible, Jesus’ ‘will rule the nations with an iron doesn’t proselytize about ‘woman’s seed’, that is, scepter’, and is a religious dictator, but Judeo- Resurrection of futanarian women’s humanity for Christianity believes Jesus will be a Christian, the development of brainpower to ascend to the whereas Jesus was taken to the hill of Calvary planets and stars. Consequently, it’s unlikely that outside Jerusalem and nailed to a cross of wood Jesus will be a Christian, and it’s more likely that by the Romans and left there until he died. Al- he’ll be Moslem if, as Bible scholars predict, though Jesus’ disciple, Peter, became head of the there’ll be a ‘Second Coming’: church in Rome, and which eventually succeeded ‘A great sign appeared in heaven: a woman the Empire of the Romans as that of Christianity, clothed with the sun, with the moon under her it doesn`t represent Jesus’ teaching but rather the feet ... [and] an enormous red dragon ... stood in idea of Jesus as a different style of Emperor: front of the woman who was about to give birth, ‘Surely, this was the son of God.’ (Matt: 27. so that it might devour her child the moment he 54) was born.’ (Rev: 12. 5) The words spoken by the Roman guard, Because Christians don’t proselytize Longinus, as he pierced the side of Jesus with his ‘woman`s seed’ but rather torture and death as a spear represent the Roman legions’ acceptance of means to Ascension, rather than Resurrection, it’s a new Empire based on the absence of an Em- more likely that the anti-Christ will be Christian, peror. Jesus’ teaching was that a Holy Spirit and that the redeemer will be Moslem, as fu- would teach after him. Because Eve was born tanarian women’s brainpower is sexually repro- from the rib or side of the first Adam in Eden, as ducible in Islam by religious decree. Although the ‘Second Adam’ Jesus’ Holy Spirit was ex- Christianity socio-economic system isn`t unusual, pected to be the ‘Second Eve’ so Longinus` spear wage slavery is the form of torture to death uni- in his side was designed to facilitate a caesarian versally applied in capitalism, which had never birth. The Roman legions` church was based on had any serious rivals until socialist Marxism. the Holy Spirit, that is, Jesus` teaching of Communism was based on Karl Marx’s Das ‘woman’s seed’, whereas Christianity doesn’t Kapital (1867), which observed that ‘workers proselytize about women`s futanarian humanity, control the means of production’. Consequently, but only torture and death as the basis of econom- communism was a stage towards realizing ics in host womb slavery in parasitism for war. women’s control of the means of human produc- God told Eve her ‘seed’ would have ‘enmity’ tion as the human futanarian race. Capitalists with the ‘serpent’s seed’ and, kept in ephemeral were rather the host womb enslavers of the spe- host womb slavery, women can’t produce brain- cies in Satanism for war and ephemerality. power for labor saving inventions and immortal- The newborn were doomed to blind uncon- ity conferring medical science, so men are scious ignorance maintained by mass media women’s enemies: ‘edutainment’ censorship for the aliens’ ‘snuff `[W]e’ve had to think up a whole list of dirty, movie’ histography of human extinction, which nasty, dangerous jobs that will, at the very least, was why socialism was largely replaced by so- make them remember for the rest of their lives cialization in modern models of governance. So- that their citizenship is valuable to them because cialism was the principle that humans helped

30 each other to live, whereas socialization is the scepter’ against people being consumed. Robert principle developed by behavioralism, which was A. Heinlein’s Starship Troopers depicts the hu- mainly derived from psychological experiments man processor of a boys’ owner, that is, a slaver, on animals, that people should be social, which who’s a poisoner that doesn’t want the boys to effectively wasted peoples’ lives on the assump- know they’re the ‘serpent`s seed’ of a dragon. It tion that, if they’re sociable, they’re active. Or, in keeps them in blind unconscious ignorance other words, humans kept in blind unconscious through smoking, that is, murdering, futanarian ignorance wouldn`t be independent of ‘society’ ‘woman`s seed’ that might conceivably have pro- through the exercise of their minds’ capacities for duced the brainpower needed to restore human improvement, and so for the humans it bred as consciousness before it was devoured as proc- animals, ‘society’ became capitalism’s sacred essed futanaria: idol. People in host womb parasitism for the wag- ‘... an enormous red dragon ... stood in front ing of wars in homosexuality and pederasty of the woman who was about to give birth, so that wasted their lives on being sociable slaves, which it might devour her child the moment he was is what whores and whoresons are. born.’ (Rev: 12. 5) The advocate for social change during the The ‘red dragon’ is a symbol of the cigarette period known as Victorian (1837-1901) after the smoker, which is officially perceived as unpleas- reign of the English Empress, Victoria, was ant on ‘moral grounds’, because it causes death Charles Dickens, whose novel Oliver Twist through cancer. Cigarettes contain tobacco, which (1838) contained a scene in a ‘workhouse’ where is produced from the leaves of the tobacco plant. the boy, Oliver, amongst the poorest people and The ground leaves of the tobacco plant is called children who labored there, held up his bowl tim- ‘snuff’, which is the appellation given to movies idly as the food was being doled out, ‘Please, sir, or videos, and even street entertainments, I want some more.’8 Mr. Bumble is depicted as a whereby an individual is murdered for the pleas- stout, red faced individual, with a mien now ure of the audience: ‘Correct morals arise from grown redder in chokingly embarrassed apoplexy, knowing what man is not what do-gooders and ‘Oliver Twist wants some more.’ The human di- well-meaning old Aunt Nellies would like him to gestive tract is nine meters, which is too large for be.’9 The biblical ‘red dragon’ is the ‘snuff’ in- a creature that averages a height of a meter and a dustry symbolized by the lit end of the cigarette, half, and Oliver is less than that. In biotechno- which signifies oral sex, because the parasite is logical terms humans are processors, that is, the devouring humanity’s penis, and that’s what oc- brains constitute the machine, which produces curs with ‘parasitoid’ creatures, according to through invention whatever it needs to live. In parasitology, that is, the host is consumed and host womb slavery in parasitism, slavers, like experiences consumption. Consequently, ground those of the Victorian workhouse, want a large tobacco, that is, ‘snuff’, is actually the ‘moral processor. As the nine meter size of the human grounds’ on which cigarettes are perceived as im- digestive tract is too big for the appetite, desire moral, because they’re symbolic of the reality for food can produce obesity. However, while ‘snuff movie’ they represent. In short, women’s sexual desire is an aspect of orality, that is, kiss- futanarian humanity’s host womb has been taken ing and fellatio, or cunnilingus, that confuses over by a parasite that’s stolen her penis so that growing boys into associating food with sexual the human race progresses in slow consumption, reproduction, so children are processed as con- that is, cancer, because the human doesn’t want to sumables, because men like the choleric Mr. experience extinction; although the ‘parasitoid’ Bumble have too much guts, although the slaver does: wants those animal guts for the processor. ‘Don’t you know about sergeants? ... They As a starving boy, Oliver faces the danger of don’t have mothers. Just ask any trained private.’ consumption through ill health, while Jesus` birth He blew smoke towards us. ‘They reproduce by is depicted in the Bible as threatened by the de- fission ... like all bacteria.’10 vourer that doesn’t want him to ‘rule with an iron When the ‘boys’ are dropped on the arachnid

31 planet of Klendathu, they’re ‘poisons’, because Ch. 2, 1838. serpents are poisonous, that is, boys’ owners, and 9 Heinlein, Robert A. Starship Troopers, G. drag on cigarettes fully grown, which is why P. Putnam’s, 1959, Ch. 12. Starship Troopers is a ‘red dragon’ fighting spi- 10 Instructor-Corporal Bronski in Heinlein, ders. The mothers drop the poisonous serpents Robert A. Starship Troopers, G. P. Putnam’s, onto Klendathu where they engage in combat 1959, Ch. 3, p. 50 with the spiders as symbols of the futanarian human sexual reproduction of their mothers who are eight limbed during sexual intercourse. The poisonous aspect of the boys’ owners, that is, the ‘red dragon’ of the fathers’ consumption, is repre- sented by the spiders’ biotechnology and the dropped ‘boys’ themselves as representing the ‘biological weapon’ of the HIV/AIDS’ virus produced by host womb enslavement of women in homosexuality and pederasty for war by mixing blood, shit and semen in each others’ anuses during mockery of human sexual intercourse, which their futanarian mothers symbolize. Conse- quently, Heinlein’s ‘bug war’ is what men of the ‘serpent’s seed’ against ‘woman’s seed’ are; biological warfare.

1 Lt. Col. Jean V. Dubois (Ret.) and ‘History and Moral Philosophy’ student in Heinlein, Robert A. Starship Troopers, G. P. Putnam’s, 1959, Ch. 2, p. 26.

2 US Army Private Rodger Wilton Young received the posthumous Medal Of Honor after rushing a Japanese machine gun ‘nest’ on July 31, 1943. 3 Lt. Col. Jean V. Dubois (Ret.) and ‘History and Moral Philosophy’ student in Heinlein, Robert A. Starship Troopers, G. P. Putnam’s, 1959, Ch. 2, p. 25. 4 Patterson Jr., William H., Robert A. Heinlein In Dialogue With His Century: The Man Who Knew Better, Vol. 2, 1948-1988, New York, Tor, 2014, p. 173. 5 Juan Rico in Heinlein, Robert A. Starship Troopers, G. P. Putnam’s, 1959, Ch.1, p. 1 6 http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/ Main/FootPopping .

7 Fleet Sergeant Ho in Heinlein, Robert A. Starship Troopers, G. P. Putnam’s, 1959, pp. 29- 30. 8 Dickens, Charles Oliver Twist, ‘Treats Of Oliver Twist’s Growth, Education, And Board’, 32 The Readers Have Their Say Bless them All

From: Sheryl Birkhead der if there will be 25509 Jonnie Court any comment closer Gaithersburg, MD 20882 to home (but far September 11 - 2015 more informed than I Dear TRF, am!) about Hotno naledi. Man, with that Yeah, yeah, I am abysmally image and that name late and there is nothing to be (Dreadnoughtius gained by going into the myriad of schrani) it seems al- things that have conspired to go most impossible more-or-less wrong. I apologize so that such a tremen- on with the commenting. dous mass could be For whatever weird reasons, I supported and kept have #102 and #106 sitting here alive by such a with no notations as to comments slender head and being made. I will go on that prem- neck! Ah- almost the ise and, if as I go along, I find it things that fiction is made of! seems familiar (hmm) that I have commented, Agh. the Apple Rep was supposed to call me I'll apologize yet again. 30 minutes ago; getting antsy—so I'll go ahead Ah, how well I know that panicky feel- and work on this some more (have to shut eve- ing when technology has gone amuck. Usu- rything down when they call and start over so ally about then I am desperately trying to fig- they can see how things look and work) ure out how I can pay for (as an aside, this ap- (Sheesh. Yet another week has slipped plies to three of the things obliquely past.) Interesting to note what I am going to alluded to in the first paragraph!)—add to my call in ground (or perhaps at ground level?) angst both my Macs are considered “vintage” grave markers—I would have thought that the by Apple and they will not work on either of (traditional?) upright markers that we see in them. I had actually called Apple and asked if the photos of old cemeteries would have been the Pad would do anything I wanted in a non-general norm that far back. So, it is interesting to see use technology. The answer was no. So, I gave up and read the comments so plainly visible. pursuing that money sinkhole. Ned (Cuyler) Brooks—RIP. Gene Stewart’s Rat Stew in #102 reminds me I’ve, every now and then, Googled the that there are quite a few of the Bond movies I Knarley Knews and Knarley Welch to see if I have not seen. I believe there is another one due can locate any “recent” fanac. Sigh, no. I hope out soon (?), so maybe I ought to take a look at everything is fine with them all. the Netflix offerings and see about fixing that. Ah. And then next is a Ned Brook’s loc. Despite the fact that my father was from He will be greatly missed. I will look forward Kentucky and my brother and his family live to information about what will happen to all his there, pretty much all of what I read in the Byrd various collections. I hope you got in your re- pieces is news to me. Thank you. quest for some Yandros before his sudden death. I do so love Gayle Perry’s pieces!! I won- Seeing Brad’s loc remind me that I hope

33 to see some Sasquan reporting from him in as Sigh. Now I have a total of three thumb-drive, many zines as possible! along with the desktop folders and each of the Now, making the leap over to #106 sitting thumb drives is a different brand—in case that here patiently (have no idea if I am caught up or makes any difference. And now that I know (or if there are other issues hiding.) strongly suspect) that backups are being made Your editorial reminds me how lucky I am routinely of all content—oohh, forget I said that, not to be pubbing my ish. I don’t even want to don’t want to jinx things. contemplate what horrendous computer disasters In case I did not tell you, that Galaxy image might occur to my files—and I’d bet they would had an If companion and was requested to be t- all wait until I had things ready to pub and shirt images for, of course, Galaxy and If. But I then— poof. You handle the computer (mega?) never heard back and when I asked about them glitches a lot better than I would! some time later, got a “huh”? response. Luckily I had some sort of copy, not good ones, but copies. I happen to have Time Machine that is sup- I thought this would be long done and mailed- posed to automatically back up whatever com- sorry!) puter(s) that can connect to it that I list. I had, This visit to Rat Stew hits a resounding incorrectly, believed these back-ups had been chord—when I was getting my secondary school taking place for two years now and just found teaching certification we went over the stages of out—nope. I ended up losing (i.e. wiping clean) development so I know there are many who sim- anything that might have been there and starting ply say a “child” is not capable of truly under- over—but could not get the Time Machine standing—at what point do outcomes overweigh (please note that this laptop persists in making the developmental shortcomings? What happens to a “abbreviation” into Tm ) actually make the cop- child who has done some of these horrific acts as ies. That is what took three days to sort out. At he/she matures? Are they actually psychologi- this point, I think it is doing its thing—we shall cally damaged from the start or do they sud- see. Ah, I felt secure just knowing I had those denly/gradually understand what they have (non-existent!) back-ups. The thinking was that done? What I cannot figure out is why now? should either or all the sources crash and burn- Why not a slowly increasing frequency with a one only had to download the latest Time Ma- slowly lowering age? I repeat: why now? I, chine back-up into the new computer and every- naively perhaps, hope that in smaller towns thing recovered! Yeah, right—no. things are a bit better, but with technology have Would it make financial sense for you to no idea if size has no relation to insulation. print out a master copy and then actually have it Apropos of Nothing. I have been told the photocopied? Yeah, you'd have to pay per page- same thing, car is old (but kept in great shape) but the toner cost would drop dramatically (I am and damage is greater than the bluebook. Sorry. not sure if you could buy and bring your own pa- Take it or leave it. Oh yeah, been there, done per or if that would even be cheaper. I’d guess that—and didn’t know then that I had any that the copy cost is set whether you provide the choice— and if I take the bluebook, they take the paper or not). Just an idea. car. I hope the August medical test is over and Whew! And we think some male birds done now that it is September—and cleared up have ornate plumage (true a triceratops’ the stress!! adornment isn’t exactly feathers—you know Over the years I have had every single form what I mean), it looks as if it had to be a one of back-up media fail. When I bought this (used) off mistake and not any kind of survival muta- laptop, I put the locs on a thumb-drive and also in tion. folders on the desktop (and of course thought Just went onto the public library system and both were being backed up—no). Then the put a hold on The Peripheral (audio book for- thumb drive failed and, well, there went all the mat). Thank you Michaele for the recommenda- locs I had written for the previous several years. tion.

34 Just an FYI- A support- of the world where dino- ing membership for the Fin- saur remains (and those of nish Worldcon is $40 and mammoths as recently dis- they are upfront about add- covered in my former home ing that if you want print copies sent to you of their state of Michigan.) it publications (as opposed to wouldn’t be surprising if cyber copies only) they such remains were found need another $12 (If I remember correctly). Since somewhere in Kentucky.// Well long ago, when this was supposed to be the year I got a support- families could afford them, upright grave markers ing membership, I backed down, then took a look were the norm in cemeteries. These days grave at Kansas City and to be sure of (but I would markers flush with the ground are becoming have to actually write and be certain) getting paper copies the supporting membership would be prominent due mainly maintenance concerns, $50. I may have this backwards, but either way, mowing and weed control in particular// Re your trying to insure a paper copy of progress reports comment regarding Yandros—unfortunately, no. I (and as far as I can tell, that seems to be all that is had made a brief comment to him in a reply to guaranteed) along with nominating and voting one of his locs. Regretfully, I kept putting off get- rights is now at least $50. Gotta drop back and re- ting in touch with him about acquiring some. No think this yet again. it’s far too late. I have no idea who the executer Aha (last?) loc from Ned, dated June 11. A of his estate is.// I’m very lax in backing up my jolt. I imagine this will be a late comment but I most important files even after having lost stuff am really looking forward to that cover men- due to a hard drive crash. // I really, really need tioned by Brad any of his work is a pleasure to to make multiple backups and keep them in sepa- eyeball! rate safe places.// As this issue testifies, LULU Lloyd, I am closing in on being caught up was finished and published.]] with the Murdoch Mysteries episodes. Just started watching this latest season (at least I think so. Season 8 now up to episode3) slowly, but surely now that I have a consis- From: Kim Neideigh tent source! Just made an executive decision that Dear Thomas, this tardiness is out of hand and it is time The majority of typos are obvious and unim- to cut things short, get this printed, and get it portant. As a poet, however, I can tell you a typo mailed. in a poem can be devastating. Because of the (I am still working on a bit about Lulu but poem’s already condensed nature, a single typo that is a way off yet... yeah RSN!). This will be can render the whole piece incomprehensible. mailed today! We need to remember that while we have As always- thanks and . . . detected objects believed to be black holes, most of what we think we know about them is their [[You don’t have to apologize for being late. That pure speculation. And wormholes and alternate happens to many people and isn’t a sin.// That universes are science fiction. Also, could this panicky feeling regarding tech is scary but, as “Cold Spot” be the original area from which all matter radiated outward at the Big Bang? Just a I’ve realized and noted before is also absurd con- quick guess. sidering how well we got along before getting Isn’t it about time to ease up on Mickey Spil- personal computers and their software and rely- laine? Have his calumniators actually read any of ing on them so much.// Considering all the parts his novels? They’re no more violent than many

35 modern works (certainly less graphic) and they’re man presence there (colonizing would be a bit of a always entertaining. That’s more than I can say stretch) is likely to require the advance construction for the one Robert B. Parker I read. of human habitats by robots and/or remotely di- So, Harlan Ellison is virtually forgotten in rected machines, so that once the first happy hu- his own lifetime. It couldn’t happen to a more mans arrive they will have a place to take off their worthy guy. space suits and start to work. What sort of work? Yours, Kim Directing those same robots from up close and personal rather than from far off Earth. I remember [[Regarding poetry and typos . . . I guess I’m there was a picture in Colliers showing men in very lucky then because I haven’t had any in the spacesuits surveying the Martian landscape for poetry I’ve written, especially a few that won cer- some future construction project, but (for obvious tificates in poetry competitions. One of my poems reasons) no picture of men in spacesuits with shov- was even read on radio program. I wish I had a els actually building anything. NASA is now study- copy of that broadcast.//Well, as I think I noted, I ing the various forms of 3-D printers that might have read several Mickey Spillaine books though make it possible to build all sorts of complicated I can’t remember how many because it was o machinery in situ without having to ship it up from long at all. I personally didn’t think he was any Earth at many thousands of dollars per pound so better or worse than many other writers in that this crazy sci-fi idea might actually happen. genre. If I stopped reading Spillaine’s stuff it was Gene Stewart's comments on the GOP are not likely because I found other writers whose works necessarily wrong, but they do-lack nuance. The I also enjoyed. I do agree that Spillaine’s books, current GOP majorities in House and Senate are as best I can recall certainly wasn’t as violent or actually a coalition of conservatives and radicals, graphic as many current writers’ works. Heck, where the conservatives would like to govern but there was even a short-lived Mike Hammer series the radicals—dreaming the impossible dream, on TV from 1984 to 1989 that I remember watch- won’t tolerate any necessary compromises. Heed- ing. Stacey Keach played the detective. There was less of the real world those radicals, and their con- an earlier series from 1958 to1959 with Darren stituents invent their own facts to guide their ac- McGavin but I doubt I watched that one. I’ve tions. For example: In July there was an anti- read more than one of the Spenser novels, as I abortion, anti-Planned Parenthood video (which think I mentioned. As for Harlan Ellison—I can’t turned out to be doctored) that led the radicals to say for certain that he’s “virtually forgotten in propose shutting down the government unless fund- his own lifetime”. Largely forgotten possibly. I ing for Planned Parenthood was deleted, and in late remember and know who he is. I’ve read a fair September Planned Parenthood was called before amount of his work and found it worthwhile read- Congress to testify about its misdeeds. At which ing. I respectfully disagree with your closing hearing the Republicans on the committee denied the statement. We all have our personal likes and dis- Democratic request to have the video's maker ap- likes and that’s only normal. It makes life more pear, while also neglecting to obtain the full and interesting.]] unedited videos. In the course of that five hour hearing Planned Parenthood President Cecile Rich- Alexis Gilliland ards ably defended her organization, and eventually 4030 8th Street South, Chairman Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) conceded: ". . . Arlington, VA 22204 without the videos we can't have a good discussion October 5, 2015 of them." So the radicals were prepared to shut down the government without any proper discus- Dear Tom, sion of why. In that video, a woman describes a horrific scene that is not shown, but which Carly Thank you for TRF #107 with the well-executed Fiorina claimed to have watched. When fact check- Brad Foster cover evoking a zombie TV show that ers told her that the scene she described was not on shambles along in reruns seeking to eat our brains. the video, she doubled down and said it was, a lie Going to the Moon and Mars and establishing a hu-

36 pandering to the pro-lifers that ken leg, possibly resulting from an boosted her to just behind Donald epilepsy-induced fall. We also Trump in the' polls. If a lie informs know he was hastily buried be- your actions those actions will cause the wall paintings in his probably be stupid and certainly tomb had spots of mold on them, disconnected with your principles, meaning that the tomb was sealed noble or otherwise. However, while those paintings were still sometimes the truth of your. actions wet. Even so he led an Egyptian may also be unhelpful, as for in- army that held a draw against the stance when Rep. Kevin McCarthy, Hittites, and since he was buried prospectively the next Speaker of the with several chariots it is likely that House, bragged that the Benghazi he was able to drive them, though investigation—conducted intermi- in the war he probably used a nably and at great expense, was an effective parti- driver. The grave goods also included 130 walking san attack on Hillary Clinton. Now a partisan attack sticks, some of them well used, clear evidence of may not be stupid but it does need to appear non- his clubfoot. partisan, and McCarthy’s brag may have helped put What else? In my letter suggesting how AI Clinton in the White House. might undermine the human race I failed to mention Gene also says that a superficial gloss of mod- the intelligent porn toys that are surely in prospect a ern research demonstrates that the Egyptian pyra- few years hence. With such toys (robot lovers?) mids were not tombs. Well, no, the pyramids were available who needs to put up with troublesome in fact tombs, containing sarcophagi and wall paint- and demanding human beings? That should do ings to ensure the pharaoh’s safe passage into the for now. next life. The step pyramid and the bent pyramid were variations, in that the burial chamber was lo- Best wishes, cated beneath rather than within the pyramid, but all had been plundered of the treasures buried with the pharaohs. One notable exception was Tutankhamen, who became pharaoh at age nine and upon dying as [[The existence of Egyptian pyramids has created a teenager was hastily buried in an existing tomb some really strange claims as to their origins and located in an obscure comer in the Valley of the actual purposes.// That information about King Kings where it was covered with drifting sand and Tut was very interesting.// Since the present and lost to memory before it could be plundered in an- possible future don’t seem to be turning out quite tiquity. Had he lived longer our boy might not the way people expected or are expecting, articles have built a pyramid, but like other pharaohs, he about the past seem more interesting. I’d still would have had a proper burial chamber prepared prefer a more optimistic and hopeful future. It over years or decades. would be nice to have some sort of positive for- Since TRF does a lot of stuff on ancient times it ward-looking articles that would reflect SF and might be apropos to go on for a bit about Tutank- its sense of wonder.// Compared to most of what’s hamen. His father was Akhenaten, famously mar- on television these days, the Twilight Zone was ried to the charismatic and beautiful Nefertiti, but relatively mild. But ”. . . a zombie TV show . . . to his mother (established by genetic testing) was a eat out brains.” That seems rather harsh and I’d lesser wife, his father’s sister. This inbreeding was just as soon watch re-runs of The Twilight Zone then thought to keep the dynastic line pure, but it than many of the current TV series. That of reinforced all sorts of genetic problems, including course is my opinion and may not be shared by gynandromorphy (Akhenaten’s wide hips and femi- other people. There are other TV series that nine breasts) a clubfoot and a tendency to epilepsy. might fit the brain-eating zombie canard.// ”. . . a The latest autopsy on Tut’s mummified remains bit of a stretch . . .” Hell, a long stretch. Politi- suggests that he died of complications from a bro- cally it would go nowhere thanks to rabid, tight- fisted conservatives who seem intent on bringing 37 this country to a standstill or taking it backwards know they are doomed from the outset. a century or more.// For whatever it’s worth I Moving on to Alfred Boyd’s article “Children agree with you on sending robots and/or remotely of the Flood.” Most people who address this directed machines to construct habitats in ad- problem try to figure out how to deal with the vance of humans setting foot on Mars. That way same number of people in a more limited amount they could move in right away—sort of. The idea of land. There wouldn’t be a problem if you re- of 3-D printers manufacturing what’s needed duced the number of people. The apparent basis from materials already on Mars sounds like a of all our ecological problems seems to be from much better way to colonize Mars.// I’ve been having too many people on the planet. following political news on various internet sites There are two basic ways you can reduce the and have learned much of what you wrote about population. You can decrease the birthrate or in- the GOP (which doesn’t seem so Grand any- crease the death rate. The former is more sensi- more.) It seems the GOP brought much of it on ble, but the latter is more likely. You pretty much themselves when they encouraged and accepted have to control the birthrate by controlling your the Tea Party which consists of most of those own birthrate. You can control the death rate by radically conservative politicians and their sup- controlling somebody else’s death rate. Guess porters. From what I’ve read of their claims does which alternative most people will choose. show they ”. . . invent their own facts . . . ” The It should be easy to get information out of a so-called grilling of Hillary Clinton didn’t turn black hole. You simply sneak it out inside Chi- out the way Trey Gowdy wanted and also may nese fortune cookies. You probably have noticed help Clinton’s chances. Time will tell—if a larger that the contents of Chinese fortune cookies fre- number of Democratic voters get off their butts quently appear to have come from another dimen- and vote.]] sion. Yours truly, From: Milt Stevens Milt Stevens October 10, 2015 6325 Keystone St. Dear Tom, Simi Valley, CA 93063 [email protected] In the Reluctant Famulus #107, I’ll begin with Michaele Jordan’s review of Aurora by Kim Stanley Robinson. I don’t like the novel. I don’t [[”. . . read the book . . .” Is it sort of like Rag- like it a whole bunch. I don’t like it because it narok, where the giants fight in that final battle isn’t a well made novel. I also don’t like what it even though they know in advance they are des- has to say. tined to fail. Related to the novel Aurora: Thanks This book is more of an essay than a novel. to Greg Benford, I read his review of Aurora in It’s ironic that the AI in this book is trying to fig- the New York Review of Science Fiction. Now ure out how to write a narrative. I don’t think it I’ve read three differing reviews of the novel. manages it. There is a big honking deus ex ma- There’s Michaele’s, yours, and Greg Benford’s. I china sitting in the middle of this book. Those don’t know whether I’m tempted to read the novel things were literary flaws 2,000 years ago, and or not; there are many other novels I find more they still are literary flaws. interesting. But then I ploughed my way through Reality is no excuse for art. There are many David Brin’s novel Existence, a large part of examples of failed pioneering efforts from Roa- which jumps from one person’s viewpoint to an- noke to the Donner Party. However, in a literary other’s and another’s, back to the first person work, the results must come out of the actions of and repeating. It was a really complicated novel, the characters. A tragedy must have a tragic flaw. even if slightly annoying in those transitions. In In this effort, the characters are the author’s vic- one way it was sort of like a bloated Heinlein tims. They don’t seem to have any wills to resist novel because it was also interspersed with bits their fates. It’s as if they’ve read the book and and pieces of current news and things that, to

38 me—and I could be balk at this is not re- wrong—were only tenu- search.” I would like to ously related to the heart research the subject in of the story. I supposed it more depth and detail. I could be called a need a good place to start, “Sprawling epic novel”.// though - are there books With rabid Republicans that refute this hypothesis? dead set against any sort of Alfred Byrd on living un- planned parenthood programs and seeming de- derground was also pretty interesting, especially termination to insure that the population contin- on the Maginot Line. I had no idea how deep and ues to increase, decreasing the birth rate in the complex it was. U. S. seems doomed. I recently read that China So thanks for continuing to send paper copies has changed it limit of a single child in in a fam- my way. ily and raising the limit to two. With the size of Yours, Jerry China’s population even such a modest increase could make a big difference.// Oh. That explains To: J Kaufman the vague and cryptic nature of those infuriating one-liners.]] [[Surprise! I got a chuckle out of your second paragraph so it’s staying in.// In the Introduction From Jerry Kaufman I brought up the fact that Taral Wayne notified me that I had included A New Spaceship twice in 10/14/2015 TRF 107. That was something I couldn’t gloss That’s quite a remarkable cover on this is- over so I decided to get it out of the way early. // sue—kudos to Mr. Foster for his summation of Seeing Brad’s cover brought back fond memories the charms of Rod Serling’s great program. of watching the series. Compared to some of the Typo, typo, typo, nyah, nyah, nyah. Typoes TV series these days The Twilight Zone seems get mentioned a lot in the letter column, so cut mild. But that’s not a bad thing. In my personal this paragraph from my letter and consider the view there is a bit too much violence in TV series matter closed. and movies. It seems as if violence is the pre- In the photos of Mars you print on page 5, I dominant focus of human beings. It’s an obses- can’t make out the whale (although the rock in sion on the dark side of Man.// Regarding those the middle could pass for a fin), but I can see the Mars photos: you’re doing better than I. Now to lizard and the misty woman. Not even a hint of a see your score on the ones in this issue.// You thigh bone emerges from the final photo. won’t get a disagreement from me. There is a his- Gene Stewart makes a good case for reading tory of those who print any and everything they The Mystery of Edwin Drood, The Last Dickens, think will sell. Think, for example, of those Penny and the several attempts to complete the story. He Dreadfuls that were so popular and the sensa- also makes a good case for studying the history of tionalistic news articles with their wild provoca- the publishing industry. I believe that, at least at tive and sometimes misleading headlines which one time, the industry could be divided into those extend to these days and have migrated to the who put anything into print they could sell, and Internet. // Google searches sometimes leave those who considered it a gentleman’s business much to be desired and the results can be ques- that would publish only the best and would be tionable as to their accuracy. Even so, I suspect satisfied with smaller revenues. Now the gentle- it’s possible to find articles that can be trusted.// men and gentlewomen survive, if at all, in the In regard to your comments on the Dickens arti- small press. But this is an opinion I’m not pre- cle in Rat Stew and particularly concerning the pared to research. publishing industry at that time—which was also I will also agree with Gene in the letter col- Mark Twain’s time. There is at least a sentence umn when he says “a surface sweep of Google to or two pointing out that Twain had the problem

39 with some of his works when pirated editions that of continuous full-time employment, I have once would appear, many from British publishers but again been laid off. We’re in good financial others from unscrupulous American publishers. shape, so I have just dove right back into the old He filed law suits against them and also lobbied routines, and already, there’s more than a dozen Congress about improving copyright laws and resumes out there. I am pretty sure that I will be extending the length of their terms.]] back working soon. Yvonne’s job is a little shaky right now, mostly because the company she works for will soon be sold to another company, From Lloyd Penney and as many companies do and regret later, she October 16, 2015 expect Accounts Payable to be farmed out to 1706-24 Eva Rd. some company in India, or the Philippines, or Etobicoke, ON some Far Eastern city. CANADA M9C 2B2 Vale Ned Brooks…he and his various fannish Dear Thomas: publications will be much missed. I never met Thank you for issue 107 of the Famulus. And, him, but I would have like to have done, and seen thank you and Brad Foster for that amazing Twi- his house-sized collection of books and other light Zone cover. The opening of TZ used to publications. scare the hell out of me when I was a kid, and I My loc…Canada’s direction with the Trans still enjoy that great series, the original, and the Pacific Partnership will be confirmed shortly… first revival, but even some of the second revival, this coming Monday, October 19, is election day, too, and the movie. and after nine years of Republican-style govern- It’s never easy to produce a zine, given how ance, I think we have a new government coming. everyone says they can do it better, but like any We can only hope. other aspect of doing same, it’s entirely up to you Well, almost made the page, but I think well how you produce it. You’re the editor and pub- done this time around. Thanks for 107 and look- lisher. There’s also far too many who will nitpick ing forward now to 108. angrily, as if any mistakes on your part were in- Yours, Lloyd Penney. tentional, and aimed directly at them. I’ve had to To Lloyd Penney put up with these nitpickers for decades, no matter the interests I’m in. They are not worth the [[When Brad sent it to me “on spec” it took me hassle or pain. one look and there was no question that it would The mention of Mark Twain reminds me of definitely be the cover of the next issue of TRF my favorite show, Murdoch Mysteries, or The and would rank among the classic ones. I don’t Artful Detective in some areas of the US. The ninth season has started broadcasting here, and think of myself as a an especially brave person the second episode of the season had Twain as a though I did have an active imagination but The character. He was played by, none other than… Twilight Zone didn’t scare the hell out of me. It William Shatner. And before the laughing dies did fall neatly into my sense of wonder category.// down, he was actually pretty good in the role. Thank you, Lloyd, for your encouraging words. The VASIMR rocket does sound interesting, They do make more sense. I’ve been working on but I have been reading a lot of article online overcoming my being excessively upset so much about various rocket or non-rocket systems that will send man to Mars in a number of months, over typos. I hope my Introduction to this issue is rather than years. I’ve seen everything from hy- evidence of that.// Wow. Shatner as Mark Twain. perfuels to warp bubbles, and I have to wonder What blasphemy! My mind boggles at the thought how much is wishful thinking and SFnal ideas. of it. How dare he . . . Seriously, it would be in- The letter column…so many of you have teresting to see him in that role. Is it possible given me good wishes employment-wise over the Shatner used restraint in plating that character?// last handful of issues, but after nearly 17 months

40 I like the idea of spaceships that inspired to write an article about it could shorten the time it takes to for TRF. reach Mars. I fear such spacecraft If a Variable Specific Impulse Magneto-plasma Rocket can whizz are mostly wishful thinking and from the Earth to Mars in six SFnal ideas. Doggone that speed weeks, it will be going far too fast of light limit. Warp bubbles would for Mars’ gravity to pull it into or- seem to be stretching things.// Dad bit. So how does it slow down? In rat it! You’re out of work again. space no one can hear you brake Canada seems to have the same because in space you can’t brake. sort of employment problems as the U. S.. Now “The naked lady with a nice ass” in that Canada has a mostly liberal administration the movie Lifeforce (that Steve mentioned) was Mathilda May. Heck! She had a nice maybe things will improve in that regard. Re- everything and displayed it all in the movie. By garding Yvonne’s situation: that sounds much the way, Patrick Stewart was in that movie and like what happens here in the U.S.. // Ned will was supposed to have his first screen kiss with indeed by missed. I never met him in person but I May but she plays a shape-shifter and the script got to thinking that if/when I got to Georgia I’d was changed so she shifted shape and Stewart take him up on his invitation to visit him. Now ended up kissing a man. that plan has been shot.]] Sometimes you just can’t win.

From: Dave Rowe [[Well I have to take equal blame for having 8288 W Shelby State Road 44 missed that bit about the Confederate flag.//I Franklin IN 46131-92112 think I might have read somewhere—I wish I could remember where—an article explaining the Dear Tom, somewhat similar names. Possibly Civil War Times, America’s Civil War, or Civil War Moni- Re: TRF 107 tor.// Regarding the “Children’s Blizzard”: that’s

the news media for you and editorial choice as to Firstly, deeply sorry for the error in my loc where I wrote “With regard to the backlash what news receives prominent attention. It would against the stars and stripes” Of course it should have been a big deal in the Great Plains states have been stars and bars. Apologies to my dear and especially Minnesota, Montana and Ne- hosts and no offense intended. However, it is braska. It was, apparently, Canada’s fair to ask why you have two flags with nearly (unintentional) gift to the U.S.. On the East the same name? In Britain we have St. Andrew’s Coast, not so much. The Children’s Blizzard may Cross, St. George’s Cross and St. Patrick’s have been briefly mentioned but at least it was Cross, now you wouldn’t get any of those con- fused would you? mentioned. I don’t know about anyone else buy Enjoyed Brad Foster's visual ode to The Twi- even brief mentions catch my attention and pique light Zone. In fact, enjoy your continuing diver- my interest to learn more. There are several sity of covers. Online sites featuring the Children’s Blizzard in Oddly enough The Children’s Blizzard, briefly detail and the news coverage of it. There is also a mentioned on page 7, came up in some recent book about it: The Children’s Blizzard, by David correspondence with Jerry. Am surprised it's not Laskin. If my memory doesn’t go bad I may order better known, given the number of deaths and as a result weather forecasting was taken out of the a copy of the book.// Oh yes you can brake in U.S. Army's jurisdiction, it was pretty much the space. You just can’t step on a dime; it takes a Titanic of metrology. Maybe someone will be much longer distance.// Regarding Patrick Stew- 41 art: It could have been worse. She could have From: John Purcell shape-shifted into a gorilla or a lizard-like being or . . . Who knows what.]] October 24 2015 While I await the new episode of Doctor Who in half an hour on BBC America, now is as good From: Brad Foster enough a time as any to dash off a letter of comment on your most recent issue, for which I thank October 22, 2015 you. Greetings, Tom- Truth be told, this may end up being shorter than usual, but that’s only because it has been Sorry for lack of reply, things have been pil- awhile since I’ve actually read the zine; however, ing up on the desk here for a while. In the midst that length projection could easily change as I flip of crazy busy art festival season. Was away for through the pages for comment hooks. The first about ten days in Shreveport for a long show, hook happens to be your comments about your then a couple of local things with odd hours and health, which is a typical problem with fan edi- having to re-work my display set up for each one, tors from any era. I am glad your health checks plus odd stuff to work on around house more than out on the positive side, though, and that the usual. health of your computer likewise seems to be Anyway, if it helps, yours is not the only zine good. Speaking of working on fanzines, I have that has gotten here but is still sitting over at the begun preliminary work on the 35th issue of corner of the drawing board, waiting for a reply. Askance, due out around Thanksgiving this year, Since looks like will— still—be nutty a bit so if you have anything: loc, review, rant, etc. to longer, glad you wrote. Here are three fillos that send, feel free. It won’t be ready for posting or are ready to go that I hope you can use in the next printing for a month, so there’s time. issue. And, hopefully by the time that one comes Pictures from Mars are always good for out, I will be in a better position to send a decent laughs, especially when gullible people see what loc as well. they want to see on the images. To me the really Okay, back to work—still packing for this awesome thing is that we are getting these images weekend’s show. Have to go pick up U-Haul van from robots driving around on the Martian sur- tonight, load it, then play dodge-drop with some face! That alone is enough to make a scientific- big storms that will be coming into the area all tional fan gibber with glee and froth at the mouth. day Friday, which is the day have to set up my Add in the awesome images coming from much tent in the middle of a park. Ah, the joys of out- further out in our solar system—Jupiter, Callisto, door art fests! I’m almost too old for this crap! Enceladus, Pluto, Charon, etc.—and the sensa- wondah has kicked into overdrive. Except for the stay happy~ Brad political idiocy and other madness humankind is wreaking upon itself here on planet Earth, this is [[No apologies necessary. Over time I’ve learned that you very interesting time to be alive. We live in an (an pretty much everyone I know) are a bust person with a entirely new age of exploration. And best of all, lot of commitments. You have art festivals to attend, among NASA plans on getting manned missions to Mars other things, as well as submitting art to fanzines. You don’t have time to waste. That’s why I try to avoid making some time around 2030; I will be 76 then—like unreasonable requests and work within your schedules. many other fans of my generation—so the odds That’s well worth it to me because of the covers and fillos of us actually being alive to witness men and of your that come my way. Here’s hoping you get some women on Mars is a very real possibility. The break time to catch your breath and relax—and maybe plans to get back to the Moon in the early 2020’s make a few bucks along the way.]] is also exciting. Yes, this is Very Cool.

Gene Stewart’s article on Charles Dickens’

unfinished novel The Mystery of Edwin Drood

was quite enjoyable. Oddly enough, this is one of

42 the few Dickens works I have yet to read. Must tastic because they give us fans a close-up of the terrain of correct that situation. At any rate, I knew that Poe another planet which we’re not likely ever to set foot on. (Oops. Ending a sentence with a preposition. Naughty.) had briefly met Dickens on the latter’s tour of Those photos of other planets, moons and other objects are America in 1842, so the thought of them “talking equally great. By 2030 I would be 84—maybe, possibly . . . shop” makes me smile and wish an earlier version At that age, if I’m still around, I would only enjoy the mis- of me had been there to hear their conversation. sions from a long distance via transmissions from people Interesting idea that Poe’s writing method might who are actually there. I wish we could get rid of all the political idiocy and other madness humankind is wreaking have influenced Dickens writing this novel. Now on Earth. Thanks to Project Gutenberg I downloaded a PDF all we need is for someone to write a Steampunk of The Mystery of Edwin Drood and am reading it. Regard- novel featuring Poe and Dickens being a trans- ing your staking claim to the Poe-Dickens crime solving Atlantic crime-solving team. That would be a fun premise: Dang it! That means I can’t steal it. If I can keep it premise, wouldn’t it? I hereby claim it as mine. in mind I might even buy the Mathew Pearl book.// I could really emphasize with Burgess Meredith’ character in that (Note to self: research this possibility and brain- particular Twilight Zone episode.// Here’s an interesting bit storm on it.) relating to your penultimate paragraph. A couple of days or As for surviving the next apocalypse by living so (as I write this) I received an email from Greg Benford underground, as Alfred Byrd suggests, that might who sent me a PDF of his review of Aurora in The New very well be the most viable option. Then again, I York Review of Science Fiction. It was a very interesting in -depth examination of the novel by a noted scientist and really don’t want my descendants to turn into fellow SF writer.// You’d have to be very lucky to get a Morlocks. No thanks. berth on a Mars-bound spaceship.]] Now to return to the front cover: Brad Foster has outdone himself. This Twilight Zone homage is brilliantly executed and gorgeous. The “Time Enough At Last” episode, which Brad perfectly captures, is my all time favorite episode of the entire series. Kudos, Mr. Foster. Wonderful, wonderful work! Hey, I wonder if Michaela Jordan has read the review of Aurora that Gregory Benford wrote for my zine (Askance #34)? Comparing the two reviews convinces me that this is a novel worth reading, but I always feel that way about Kim Stanley Robinson’s work. He is one of the best hard science fiction writers these days, and it is heartening to read yet another positive review of the book. *sigh* Yet another title for the To Be Read bookshelf, which is groaning under the weight of the accumulated books. At least I’ll have enough reading material for the flight out to Mars.

All the best, John Purcell Qualifications to become president of the U.S.: Must be a natural born citizen, at least 35 [[You’re welcome. If I had been thinking, since I had al- years old and a resident in the country at least 14 ready seen the Dr. Who episode I could have spoiled it for years. Brains, good sense and judgment not man- you by telling you the ending. But I’m not like that.// You did pretty well for having dashed off a loc. Thanks for datory. Lack of integrity and principles a plus. that.// So far the computer, software and I are still doing The last two sentences also apply to those okay. So I’ll be able to inflict more TRFs on people.// What running for the Senate and House of Representa- people think they see in those Mars photos are good for tives. Also must be able to lie with a straight laughs or at least a chuckle or two. That’s why I included a face. few more in this issue. Pareidolia aside, the photos are fan- 43 “The type of dark matter that triggered the Blame it on dinosaurs’ demise would be distributed very dif- ferently from most of the dark matter in the uni- Dark matter. verse. The additional type of dark matter would leave the halo intact, but its very different interac- tions would make it condense into a disk right in In an interview, Physicist Lisa Randall says the middle of the Milky Way plane. This thin re- dark matter may have killed off the dinosaurs. gion could be so dense that when the solar system As anyone who is interested in astronomy passes through it, as the sun oscillates up and knows dark matter is rather elusive stuff. We down during its orbit through our galaxy, the can't see it hear it, or feel it, and we certainly can't disk’s gravitational influence would be unusually smell or taste it. Even with the world's most so- strong. phisticated scientific instruments there's no direct “Its gravitational pull could be powerful proof that the long-hypothesized form of matter enough to dislodge comets at the outer edge of exists at all—though the universe is now believed the solar system, where the sun’s competing pull to be full of the stuff. would be too weak to rein them back in. The er- Even if its existence is no longer in doubt, rant comets would then be ejected from the solar there are questions remaining about dark matter, system or, more momentously, be redirected to including what sorts of particles it's made of. hurtle toward the inner solar system, where they Along with other leading scientists, Harvard might have the potential to strike the Earth.” physicist Lisa Randall is trying to answer those If dark matter might explain the demise of the questions. Randall, has written a provocative new dinosaurs, might it also explain how life on Earth book entitled Dark Matter and the Dinosaurs. got its start? She was asked a few questions via email hoping “Stuff hitting the Earth such as comets and to shed more light on this fascinating subject. asteroids almost certainly played a role in deter- What is the connection between dark matter mining the Earth's composition and might have and the dinosaurs? even played a role in triggering life or some key “My collaborators and I suggest that dark processes that were essential to it. Most of these matter might ultimately (and indirectly) have are speculative, but they are fascinating and well been responsible for the extinction of the dino- worth pursuing.” saurs. We know that 66 million years ago, an ob- So if dark matter can send dangerous comets ject at least 10 kilometers wide plummeted to and asteroids our way, should we be worried? Earth from space and destroyed the terrestrial “Clearly, asteroids sometimes come close. dinosaurs, along with three-quarters of the other Encounters will undoubtedly occur, but their ex- species on the planet. The object might have been pected frequency and magnitude remain subjects a comet from the so-called Oort belt, a region of of debate. Whether or not something will hit and comets and debris beyond the orbit of Neptune. do damage on time scales that we should care But as to why this comet, if that’s what it was, about is not yet an entirely settled question. I per- was perturbed from its stable orbit in the Oort sonally don't think they are the greatest danger to belt, no one knows for sure. humanity. “Our proposal is that during the solar sys- “Should we worry? It’s all a matter of scale, tem’s passage through the mid-plane of our cost, our anxiety threshold, the decisions societies Milky Way galaxy, it encountered a disk of dark make about what is important, and what we think matter that dislodged the distant object, thereby we can control. Such threats are not overly press- precipitating this cataclysmic impact. In our ga- ing, even if some potential damage is possible. lactic vicinity, the bulk of the dark matter sur- Though it’s possible that an infelicitously di- rounds us in an enormous smooth and diffuse rected one could hit and wipe out a major popula- spherical halo. 44 tion center, the odds of that happening anytime in You know, it doesn’t require the foreseeable future are extremely remote. The an alien being when God is ultimate issues for society, as with all scientific with you.” and engineering efforts, are what we value, what J.G. Manning, a professor we learn, and what the ancillary benefits might of classics who studies Egyp- be.” tian history at Yale Univer- So dark matter may have aided in the extinc- sity, called Carson’s version tion of dinosaurs but we wouldn’t have to worry of events “lunatic.” “It’s a if it might happen to us. Certainly not in our fore- biblical view of the pyra- seeable future. In a million years or more, maybe mids. It just has no basis in such an event might occur. But for all we know fact.” we might be extinct for some other reason long There you have it. As before dark matter chances to have a strong effect Robert Ripley used to say, on good old Earth. Isn’t that comforting? “Believe it or not.”

The real reason for the pyramids. In Conclusion It would seem we’re all wrong about the purpose of the pyramids. You don’t believe it? Well At last we reach the end here’s the real purpose. Or at least one person’s of this issue. I hope it wasn’t theory. a dark and harrowing jour- ney. There were a few items An Internet news outlet, BuzzFeed, unearthed at least tenuously of to SFnal a video from 1998. In it, controversial Republi- interest mixed in with mat- can presidential candidate Ben Carson, a deep ters of the past and present. I thinker*, propounded an absurd theory regarding will continue striving to write Egyptian history. In a commencement address he or find and include subjects made at Andrews University he claimed the pyra- looking into the future. If mids in Egypt were used for grain storage instead anyone one has an article, of used as tombs for ancient kings and queens. review or observation about “My own personal theory is that Joseph built something that concentrates the pyramids to store grain,” Carson said, citing on SF or the future by all from the Old Testament. “Now all the archaeolo- means send it or them to me. gists think that they were made for the pharaohs’ I’ll be glad to publish them, graves. But, you know, [something to store that which provides me with a grain] would have to be something awfully big, if reason to continue with The you stop and think about it.” Reluctant Famulus. But hat Carson seemed to be referring the biblical doesn’t mean I’ll stop look- man, Joseph, who was sold into slavery in Egypt ing for or writing such things and later went advised the Egyptian pharaoh to myself. Until the next issue, store grain due to a coming famine. look to the future but don’t Carson added in the speech that he didn’t forget the past. It’s what think aliens built the pyramids, as some conspir- brought us to today and will acy theorists have stated. He stated, “And when take us to tomorrow what- you look at the way that the pyramids are made, ever it may be. with many chambers that are hermetically sealed, they’d have to be that way for various reasons.” * Yes, that was meant as sar- “And various of scientists have said, ‘well, you casm. know there were alien beings that came down and they have special knowledge and that’s how.’

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