PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT

Avoid These Technical Writing Mistakes

he average engineer in industry an outline. In the same way, a builder cannot write clear, lucid prose. who requires detailed blueprints before Here’s how to He or she may know the basics laying the first brick will write a letter T— sentence structure, grammar, without really considering the message, overcome a dozen punctuation, and exposition. However, audience, or purpose. most engineers have just a few poor Before you write, plan. Create a rough common problems, stylistic habits that mar their technical outline that spells out the contents and or- writing, making it dull and difficult to ganization of your paper or report. The including poor read. outline need not be formal. A simple list, Why do engineers write so poorly? doodles, or rough notes will do. Use organization, Many feel that writing is time consuming, whatever form suits you. unimportant, and unpleasant. Others lack By the time you finish writing, some inappropriateness confidence in their ability to communi- things in the final draft might be different cate, or simply don’t know how to get from the outline. That’s okay. The outline for the audience, started. A third group has the desire to is a tool to aid in organization, not a com- write well, but lacks the proper training. mandment etched in stone. If you want to “technicalese,” long This article discusses the 12 most change it as you go along, fine. common problems in technical writing The outline helps you divide the writ- sentences, big and provides tips on how to recognize ing project into many smaller, easy-to- words, inconsistent them and how to solve them. handle pieces. The organization of these parts depends on the type of document usage, redundancy, 1. Poor organization you’re writing. According to a survey of hundreds of In general, it’s best to stick with stan- a poorly defined engineers who have attended my writing dard formats. A laboratory report, for ex- seminars, poor organization is the number ample, includes: an abstract; table of con- topic, and one problem in engineering writing. As tents; summary; introduction; main body one technical writer points out, “If the (theory, apparatus and procedures, re- inadequate content. reader believes the content has some im- sults, and discussions); conclusions and portance to him, he can plow through a recommendations; nomenclature; refer- report even if it is dull or has lengthy sen- ences; and appendices. An operating tences and big words. But, if it’s poorly manual includes: a summary; introduc- Robert W. Bly, organized — forget it. There’s no way to tion; description of the equipment; in- The Center for Technical make sense of what is written.” structions for routine operation, trou- Communication Poor organization stems from poor bleshooting, maintenance, and emergency planning. A computer programmer who operation; and an appendix containing a would never think of writing a complex parts list, spare-parts list, drawings, fig- program without first drawing a flow ures, and manufacturer’s literature. chart would probably knock out a draft of If the format isn’t strictly defined by a user’s manual without making notes or the type of document you are writing, se-

CHEMICAL ENGINEERING PROGRESS • JUNE 1998 ©Copyright 1998 American Institute of Chemical Engineers. All rights reserved. Copying and downloading permitted with restrictions. PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT

lect the organizational scheme that technical list article might be titled questions: “What does it cost?” and best fits the material. Some common “Six Tips for Designing Wet Scrub- “How reliable is it?” Especially in formats include: bers” or “Seven Ways to Reduce Your promotional writing, know what ¥ Order based on location. An ar- Plant’s Electric Bill.” features of your product appeal to ticle on the planets of the solar sys- the specific markets. tem might begin with Mercury (the 2. Misreading the reader ¥ Level of interest. An engineer planet nearest the sun) and end with When I admit to doing some di- who has responded to your ad is more Pluto (the planet farthest out). rect-mail copywriting as part of my likely to be receptive to a sales call ¥ Order based on increasing diffi- consulting work, people turn up their than someone who the salesperson culty. Computer manuals often start noses. “I always throw that junk in calls on “cold turkey.” Is your reader with the easiest material and, as the the garbage,” they say. “Who would interested or disinterested? Friendly user masters basic principles, move ever buy something from a letter ad- or hostile? Receptive or resistant? on to more complex operations. dressed to ‘Dear Occupant’?” Understanding the reader’s state of ¥ Alphabetical order. This is a They’re right, of course. Written mind helps you tailor your message logical way to arrange a booklet on communications are most effective to meet that person’s needs. vitamins (A, B-3, B-12, C, D, E, and when they are targeted and personal. If you don’t know enough about so on ) or a directory of company Your writing should be built around your reader, there are ways to find employees. the needs, interests, and desires of the out. If you are writing an article for a ¥ Chronological order. Here you reader. trade journal, for example, get several present the facts in the order in which With most technical documents — copies of the magazine and study it they happened. History books are articles, papers, manuals, reports, before you write. If you are present- written this way, as are many case brochures — you are writing for ing a paper at a conference, look at histories, feature stories, and corpo- many readers, not an individual. Even the conference brochure to get a feel rate biographies. though we don’t know the names of for the audience who will be attend- ¥ Problem/solution. Another for- our readers, we need to develop a pic- ing your session. If you are contribut- mat appropriate to case histories and ture of who they are — their job title, ing text to product descriptions, ask many types of technical reports, the education, industry, and interests: the marketing or publications depart- problem/solution scheme begins with ¥ Job title. Engineers are interest- ment about the format in which the “Here’s what the problem was” and ed in your compressor’s reliability material will be published, how it ends with “Here’s how we solved it.” and performance, while the purchas- will be distributed, and who will be ¥ Inverted pyramid. This is the ing agent is more concerned with reading it. style used in newspapers, where the cost. A person’s job influences his lead paragraph summarizes the story perspective of your product, service, 3. Writing in “technicalese” and the following paragraphs present or idea. Are you writing for plant en- Anyone who reads technical docu- the facts in order of decreasing im- gineers? Office managers? CEOs? ments knows the danger of “techni- portance. You can use this format in Machinists? Make the tone and con- calese” — the pompous, overblown journal articles, letters, memos, and tent of your writing compatible with style that leaves your writing sound- reports. the professional interests of your ing as if it were written by a comput- ¥ Deductive order. You can start readers. er or a corporation instead of a with a generalization, then support it ¥ Education. Are your readers human being. with particulars. Scientists use this PhDs or high-school dropouts? Are “Technicalese,” by my definition, format in research papers that begin they chemical engineers? Do they un- is language more complex than the with the findings and then state the derstand computer programming, concepts it serves to communicate. supporting evidence. thermodynamics, physical chemistry, By loading up their writings with jar- ¥ Inductive order. Another ap- and the calculus of variations? Write gon, clichés, antiquated phrases, pas- proach is to begin with specific in- simply enough so that even the least sive sentences, and an excess of ad- stances, and then lead the reader to technical of your readers can under- jectives, technicians and bureaucrats the idea or general principles the in- stand what you are saying. hide behind a jumble of incompre- stances suggest. This is an excellent ¥ Industry. When engineers buy hensible memos and reports. way to approach trade journal feature a reverse-osmosis water purification To help you recognize “techni- stories. system for a chemical plant, they calese,” I’ve shown a few samples ¥ List. The article you’re now want to know every technical detail from diverse sources in Table 1. Note reading is a list article because it de- down to the last pipe, pump, fan, how the authors seem to be writing to scribes, in list form, the most com- and filter. Marine buyers, on the impress rather than to express. All of mon problems in technical writing. A other hand, have only two basic these excerpts are real.

CHEMICAL ENGINEERING PROGRESS • JUNE 1998 Table 1. Avoid “technicalese” such as this. gives you the Fog Index for the sample. The Fog Index corresponds to the years of schooling the reader needs to “Will you please advise me at your earliest convenience of the correct status of this prod- be able to read and understand the uct?” — Memo from an advertising manager sample. A score of 8 or 9 indicates “All of the bonds in the above described account having been heretofore disposed of, we high-school level; 13, a college fresh- are this day terminating same. We accordingly enclose herein check in the amount of man; 17, a college graduate. $30,050 same being your share realized therein, as per statement attached.” — Letter from Popular magazines have Fog In- a stockbroker dexes ranging from 8 to 13. Technical journals should rate no higher than 17. “This procedure enables users to document data fields described in master files that were Obviously, the higher the Fog parsed and analyzed by the program dictionary.” — Software user’s manual Index, the more difficult the writing is to read. In his book “Gene Control in the Living Cell” (Basic Books), J. A. Table 2. Use the active voice to make your V. Butler leads off with a single 79- writing more direct and vigorous. word sentence: “In this book I have at- tempted an accurate but at the same time readable account of recent work Passive Voice Active Voice on the subject of how gene controls Control of the bearing-oil supply is provided Shutoff valves control the bearing-oil operate, a large subject which is rapid- by the shutoff valves. supply. ly acquiring a central position in the Leaking of the seals is prevented by the O-rings keep the seals from leaking. biology of today and which will in- use of O-rings. evitably become even more prominent Fuel-cost savings were realized through the The installation of thermal insulation in the future, in the efforts of scientists installation of thermal insulation. cut fuel costs. of numerous different specialists to ex- plain how a single organism can con- tain cells of many different kinds de- How do you eliminate “techni- A survey by Harvard professor D. H. veloped from a common origin.” calese” from your writing? Start by Menzel indicates that in technical pa- With 17 big words, this sample has avoiding jargon. Don’t use a techni- pers, the sentences become difficult a Fog Index of 40 — equivalent to a cal term unless it communicates your to understand when they exceed 34 reading level of 28 years of college meaning precisely. Never write “mo- words in length. education! Obviously, this sentence is bile dentition” when “loose teeth” One measure of writing clarity, the way too long. Here’s a rewrite I came will do just as well. When you avoid Fog Index, takes into account sen- up with: “This book is about how jargon, your writing can be easily tence length and word length. Here’s gene controls operate — a subject of read by novices and experienced pro- how it works: growing importance in modern biolo- fessionals alike. First, determine the average sen- gy.” This gets the message across with Use contractions. Avoid clichés tence length in a short (100 to 200 a Fog Index of only 14. and antiquated phrases. Write simply. words) writing sample. To do this, di- Give your writing the Fog Index Use the active voice as much as vide the number of words in the sam- test. If you score in the upper teens or possible. In the active voice, action is ple by the number of sentences. If higher, it’s time to trim sentence expressed directly: “John performed parts of a sentence are separated by a length. Go over your text, and break the experiment.” In the passive voice, semicolon (;), count each part as a long sentences into two or more sepa- the action is indirect: “The experi- separate sentence. rate sentences. To further reduce av- ment was performed by John.” Next, calculate the number of big erage sentence length and add variety When you use the active voice, words (words with three or more syl- to your writing, you can occasionally your writing will be more direct and lables) per 100 words of sample. Do use an extremely short sentence or vigorous; your sentences, more con- not include capitalized words, combi- sentence fragments. Like this one. cise. As you can see in the samples in nations of short words (butterfly, Short sentences are easier to grasp Table 2, the passive voice seems puny moreover), or words that are three than long ones. A good guide for and stiff by comparison. syllables because of the suffixes -ed keeping sentence length under control or -es (accepted, responses). is to write sentences that can be spo- 4. Lengthy sentences Finally, add the average sentence ken aloud without losing your breath. Lengthy sentences tire the reader length to the number of big words per (Do not take a deep breath before and make your writing hard to read. 100 words and multiply by 0.4. This doing this test.)

CHEMICAL ENGINEERING PROGRESS • JUNE 1998 PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT

5. Big words 6. Writer’s block Table 3. Use short words Engineers sometimes prefer to Writer’s block isn’t just for profes- use big, important-sounding words sional writers; it can afflict engineers instead of long ones. instead of short, simple words. This and managers, too. Writer’s block is is a mistake; fancy language just the inability to start putting words on Big Word Shorter Alternative frustrates the reader. Write in plain, paper or computer, and it stems from Terminate End ordinary English and your readers anxiety and fear of writing. Utilize Use will love you for it. When technical people write, Incombustible Fireproof Table 3 lists a few big words that they’re afraid to make mistakes, and Substantiate Prove occur often in technical literature, so they edit themselves word by Eliminate Get rid of along with shorter and preferable, word, inhibiting the natural flow of substitutions. ideas and sentences. Professional Chemical engineering has a spe- writers know that writing is a process cial language all its own. Technical consisting of numerous drafts, task than taking on a large project all terms are a helpful shorthand when rewrites, deletions, and revisions. at once. This also benefits the reader. you’re communicating within the Rarely does a writer produce a per- Writing is most readable when it profession, but they may confuse fect manuscript on the first try. deals with one simple idea rather than readers who do not share your spe- Here are a few tips to help you multiple complex ideas. Your entire cial background. overcome writer’s block: paper can’t be simple or restricted to Take the word “yield,” for exam- ¥ Break the writing up into short one idea, but each section of it can. ple. To a chemical engineer, yield is sections, and write one section at a ¥ Write the easy sections first. If a measure of how much product a time. Tackling many little writing as- you can’t get a handle on the main ar- reaction produces. But, to car signments seems less formidable a gument of your report or paper, begin drivers, yield means slowing down (and stopping, if necessary) at an intersection. Table 4. Be as specific as possible in technical descriptions. Other words that have special meaning to chemical engineers but General Specific have a different definition in every- A tall spray dryer A 40-ft-tall spray dryer day use include: vacuum, pressure, Plant Petroleum refinery batch, bypass, recycle, concentra- tion, mole, purge, saturation, and Unit Evaporator catalyst. Unfavorable weather conditions Rain Use legitimate technical terms Structural degradation A leaky roof when they communicate your ideas precisely, but avoid using jargon just High performance 95% efficiency because the words sound impressive. Do not write that material is “gravi- metrically conveyed” when it is sim- Table 5. Keep it simple by using an ply dumped. informal conversational style. Technical readers are interested in detailed information — facts, fig- Formal Technical Style Informal Conversational Style ures, conclusions, and recommenda- The data provided by direct examination of We can’t tell what it is made of by tions. Do not be content to say samples under the lens of the microscope looking at it under the microscope. something is good, bad, fast, or slow are insufficient for the purpose of making a when you can say how good, how proper identification of the components of bad, how fast, or how slow. Be spe- the substance. cific whenever possible, as shown in We have found during conversations with Our customers tell us that experienced Table 4. customers that even the most experienced extruder specialists avoid extruding The key to success in technical of extruder specialists have a tendency to silicone profiles or hoses. writing is to keep it simple. Write to avoid the extrusion of silicone profiles express — not to impress. A relaxed, or hoses. conversational style can add vigor The corporation terminated the employment Joe was fired. and clarity to your work, as illustrat- of Mr. Joseph Smith. ed in Table 5.

CHEMICAL ENGINEERING PROGRESS • JUNE 1998 with something routine, such as the to do some homework, and to gather Some old-fashioned folks even section on “Apparatus” or “Proce- information on the topic at hand. use typewriters or pen and paper. dures.” This will get you started and Most engineers I know don’t do In the next step, pruning, print out help build momentum. this. When they’re writing a trade- your first draft (double-spaced, for ¥ Write abstracts, introductions, journal article, for example, their at- easy editing) and give it major and summaries last. Although they titude is, “I’m the expert here. So surgery. Take a red pen to the draft come first in the final document, it I’ll just rely on my own experience and cut all unnecessary words and doesn’t make sense to try to sum up a and know-how.” phrases. Rewrite any awkward pas- paper that hasn’t been written yet. That’s a mistake. Even though sages to make them smoother, but if ¥ Avoid grammar-book rules that you’re an expert, your knowledge you get stuck, leave it and go on; inhibit writers. One such rule says may be limited, your viewpoint lop- come back to it later. Use your word every paragraph must begin with a sided. Gathering information from processing program’s cut-and-paste topic sentence (a first sentence that other sources helps round out your feature to cut the draft apart and reor- states the central idea of the para- knowledge or, at the very least, verify ganize to fit your outline or to im- graph). By insisting on topic sentences, your own thinking. And there’s an- prove on that outline. Then, print out teachers and editors throw up a block other benefit: backing up your claims a clean draft. Repeat the pruning that prevents students and engineers with facts is a real credibility builder. step, if necessary, as many times as from putting their thoughts on paper. Once you’ve crammed a file folder you want. Professional writers don’t worry about full of reprints and clippings, take In the final stage, polish your topic sentences (or sentence diagrams notes on index cards or a computer. manuscript by checking such points as or ending a sentence with a preposi- Not only does note-taking put the key equations, units of measure, refer- tion). Neither should you. facts at your fingertips in condensed ences, grammar, spelling, and punctu- ¥ Sleep on it. Put your manuscript form, but reprocessing the research ation. Again, use the red pen and then away and come back to it the next information through your fingers and print out a fresh copy with corrections. morning — or even several days brain puts you in closer touch with later. Refreshed, you’ll be able to edit your material. 10. Inconsistent usage and rewrite effectively and easily. “A foolish consistency,” wrote 9. Stopping after Ralph Waldo Emerson, “is the hob- 7. Poorly defined topic the first draft goblin of little minds.” This may be Effective writing begins with a Once you gather facts and decide so. But, on the other hand, inconsis- clear definition of the specific topic how to organize the piece, the next tencies in technical writing will con- you want to write about. The big mis- step is to sit down and write. When fuse your readers and convince them take many engineers make is to tackle you do, keep in mind that the secret that your scientific work and reason- a topic that’s too broad. For example, to successful writing is rewriting. ing are as sloppy and unorganized as the title “Project Management” is too You don’t have to get it right on your prose. all-encompassing for a technical the first draft. The pros rarely do. E. Good technical writers strive for paper. You could write a whole book B. White, essayist and co-author of consistency in the use of numbers, on the subject. But, by narrowing the the writer’s resource book “The Ele- hyphens, units of measure, punctua- scope, say, with the title “Managing ments of Style,” was said to have tion, equations, grammar, symbols, Chemical Plant Construction Projects rewritten every piece nine times. capitalization, technical terms, and With Budgets Under $500,000,” you Maybe you don’t need nine drafts, abbreviations. get a clearer definition and a more- but you probably need more than For example, many writers are in- manageable topic. one. Use a simple three-step proce- consistent in the use of hyphens. A It’s also important to know the dure that I call SPP — Spit, Prune, common rule is: two words that form purpose of the document. You may and Polish. an adjective are hyphenated. Thus, say, “To give technical information.” When you sit down to write, just write: first-order reaction, fluidized- But, think again. Do you want the spit it out. Don’t worry about how it bed combustion, high-sulfur coal, reader to buy a product? Change sounds, or whether the grammar’s space-time continuum. methods of working? Look for the right, or if it fits your outline. Just let “The U.S. Government Printing underlying purpose beyond the mere the words flow. If you make a mis- Office Style Manual,” Strunk and transmission of facts. take, leave it. You can always go back White’s “The Elements of Style,” and and fix it later. Some engineers find it your organization’s writing manual 8. Inadequate content helpful to talk into a tape recorder or can guide you in the basics of gram- You’ve defined your topic, audi- dictate to an assistant. If you can type mar, punctuation, abbreviation and ence, and purpose. The next step is and have a personal computer, great. capitalization.

CHEMICAL ENGINEERING PROGRESS • JUNE 1998 PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT

11. Dull, wordy prose Table 6. Avoid redundancy. Table 7. Substitute simple Technical professionals are busy words for wordy phrases. people. Make your writing less time- Redundant Concise consuming for them to read by Wordy Phrase Suggested Substitute telling the whole story in the fewest Advance plan Plan possible words. Actual experience Experience During the course of During How can you make your writing Two cubic feet Two cubic In the form of As more concise? One way is to avoid in volume feet In many cases Often redundancies — a needless form of Cylindrical in shape Cylindrical In the event of If wordiness in which a modifier repeats Uniformly Homogeneous Exhibits the ability to Can an idea already contained within the homogeneous word being modified. For example, a recent trade ad de- scribed a product as a “new innova- Table 8. Use graphics effectively. tion.” Could there be such a thing as an old innovation? The ad also said Type of Visual What it Illustrates the product was “very unique.” Photograph or illustration What something looks like Unique means “one of a kind,” so it is Map Where something is located impossible for anything to be very unique. Exploded view How something is put together By now, you probably get the pic- Schematic diagram How something is organized ture. Some other redundancies that Graph How much there is (quantity); How one parameter varies have come up in technical literature as a function of another are listed in Table 6, along with the Pie chart Proportions and percentages correct way to rewrite them. Bar chart Comparisons between quantities Many technical writers are fond of overblown expressions such as “the Table A body of related data fact that,” “it is well known that,” and Mass and energy balances What goes in and what comes out “it is the purpose of this writer to show that.” These take up space, but add little to meaning or clarity. Closing thoughts it right, and you don’t really care The list in Table 7 includes some These tips should help eliminate about improving, you probably of the wordy phrases that appear fre- some of the fear and anxiety you may won’t. However, if you believe that quently in technical literature. The have about writing, as well as make the writing is important and you want to column on the right offers suggested whole task easier and more productive. improve, you will. CEP substitutes. Finally, keep in mind that success in writing — or any form of commu- 12. Poor page layout nication — is largely a matter of atti- Further Reading To enhance readability, break your tude: If you don’t think writing is im- writing up into short sections. Long, portant enough to take the time to do Blake, G., and R. Bly, “The Elements of unbroken blocks of text are stumbling Business Writing,” Macmillan, New York blocks that intimidate and bore read- (1991). R. W. BLY is the director of The Center for Blake, G., and R. Bly, “The Elements of ers. Breaking your writing up into Technical Communication (201/385-1220), a Technical Writing,” Macmillan, New short sections and short paragraphs Dumont, NJ-based consulting firm that helps York (1993). — as in this article — makes it easier engineers, managers, and other corporate Dodd, J. S., ed., “The ACS Style Guide,” employees improve their technical and business to read. American Chemical Society, Washington, writing skills. He has presented writing and Use visuals. Drawings, graphs, and communication seminars for numerous clients, DC (1986). other visuals can reinforce your text. In including Foxboro, IBM, Cardiac Pacemakers, Goldstein, N., ed., “The Associated Press fact, pictures often communicate better Metrum Instrumentation, Medical Economics, Stylebook and Libel Manual,” The Asso- than words; we remember 10% of U.S. Army, Arco Chemical, and Thoroughbred ciated Press, New York (1993). Software. He holds a BS in chemical Shertzer, M., “The Elements of Grammar,” what we read, but 30% of what we see. engineering from the Univ. of Rochester. He has Macmillan, New York (1986). Visuals can make your technical written more than 100 articles and 35 books, Vincler, J. E., and N. H. Vincler, “Engineer- communications more effective. Table including “The Elements of Technical Writing” ing Your Writing Success,” Professional (Macmillan) and “The Ultimate Unauthorized 8 summarizes the different types of Publications, Inc., Belmont, CA (1996). Star Trek Quiz Book” (HarperCollins). graphics and what they can show.

CHEMICAL ENGINEERING PROGRESS • JUNE 1998