The Essentials of Clear Storytelling in Comics

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Iowa State University Capstones, Theses and Graduate Theses and Dissertations Dissertations

2021

The essentials of clear storytelling in comics

Nan-Teng Liu Iowa State University

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This Thesis is brought to you for free and open access by the Iowa State University Capstones, Theses and Dissertations at Iowa State University Digital Repository. It has been accepted for inclusion in Graduate Theses and Dissertations by an authorized administrator of Iowa State University Digital Repository. For more information, please contact [email protected]. The essentials of clear storytelling in comics

Nan-Teng Liu

A thesis submitted to the graduate faculty

in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of

MASTER OF FINE ARTS

Major: Integrated Visual Arts

Program of Study Committee: Charles Richards, Major Professor Brent Holland David Zimmerman

The student author, whose presentation of the scholarship herein was approved by the program of study committee, is solely responsible for the content of this thesis. The Graduate College will ensure this thesis is globally accessible and will not permit alterations after a degree is conferred.

Iowa State University

Ames, Iowa

2021

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Page

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ...... iii

ABSTRACT ...... iv

CHAPTER 1. INTRODUCTION ...... 1 My Pursuit of Comics ...... 1

CHAPTER 2. RESEARCH ...... 6 Scott McCloud’s Principles of Clarity ...... 6 Choice of Moment ...... 7 Choice of Frame ...... 17 Choice of Image ...... 19 Choice of Word ...... 22 Choice of Flow ...... 29

CHAPTER 3. APPLICATION ...... 39 Application of McCloud’s Principles of Clarity in Unforgotten ...... 39

CHAPTER 4. CONCLUSION...... 49 Moving Forward ...... 49

REFERENCES ...... 51

APPENDIX A. UNFORGOTTEN ...... 55 Artist Statement ...... 55 Illustrations from Unforgotten ...... 56

APPENDIX B. HANNAH HOFFMAN’S STORY, PROCESSING THE LOSS ...... 84 iii

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

First, I would like to thank my mom, my dad, and my sister, for always being there to support me and encourage me, even though we are thousands of miles away from each other.

Your love, support, and encouragement are the strength to my creative journey at Iowa State

University.

Next, I would like to thank my committee chair, Professor Chuck Richards, and my committee members, Professor Brent Holland and Professor David Zimmerman, for your guidance and support throughout the course of this thesis.

Particularly, I would like to give my special thanks to Professor Chuck Richards. Words cannot express how grateful I am to have your guidance. You taught me a lot of knowledge, helped me become a better artist, and inspired me to chase my dream. I would not be where I am now without your support and encouragement. Thank you so much for everything you give me.

Also, I want to thank Taylor Carlson. You are like a sister to me. Thank you so much for

your inspiration, support, and encouragement.

In addition, I want to thank my friend, Hannah Hoffman, for your amazing story and

giving me the permission and opportunity to adapt it into a graphic novel.

Finally, I would like to thank my friends, colleagues, the department faculty and staff for

making my time at Iowa State University a wonderful experience. Without you, this thesis would

not have been possible.

ABSTRACT

The key to achieving a good comic is clarity of storytelling. Over the centuries, artists create in various forms, from paintings on a canvas to images behind an electronic screen. There is content behind the work that artists want to communicate with their viewers. In comics, the story is the content that the comic artist wants to deliver. Clear storytelling prevents readers from becoming confused and allows them to immerse themselves into the story, which can motivate the readers to continue their reading. This thesis analyzes the principles of clear storytelling in comics and their effects on the artwork in my thesis exhibition.

Unforgotten is a graphic novel I adapted from a short story written by Hannah Hoffman.

It is about Eli Aviant, a CEO of his dad’s company, and his twin sister, Elena. While Eli tries to save the company, Elena appears to have other motives. As the flashbacks progress, the secret about the Aviant’s family is slowly unveiled.

Scott McCloud is an American comic artist and theorist who wrote the books that provide a deeper insight about comics, such as Understanding Comics, Making Comics, and Reinventing

Comics. By examining McCloud’s Principles of Clarity from his Making Comics, such as Choice of Moment, Choice of Frame, Choice of Image, Choice of Word, and Choice of Flow,

Unforgotten implements clarity of storytelling by choosing the necessary moments, composing the panels thoughtfully, illustrating images with specificity, selecting words carefully, and guiding readers with the placement of elements on the page. My graphic novel demonstrates that these techniques help readers fully understand the story.

Making a good comic requires a series of thoughtful decisions. Becoming aware of every choice on a page and how it can lead to a clear understanding of the story is essential to the creative process in comics. The first step in becoming a successful comic artist is neither creating v cool-looking characters nor developing a unique artistic style, but in developing a compelling narrative as well as the creative skills needed to tell the story clearly. 1

CHAPTER 1. INTRODUCTION

My Pursuit of Comics

Like many others, I developed my love and passion for comics when I was little. While

reading comic books, I could forget worries or sad things that may have happened that day.

Reading comic books gave me a moment to escape from the real world and immerse myself into

a fictional world filled with interesting characters.

The first comic I read in kindergarten was not a comic book but a comic strip from

Mandarin Weekly Magazine, which featured a lot of educational information, including the

cultures of Taiwan and other countries, knowledge of different animals, folktales, and proverbs. I

enjoyed reading Mandarin Weekly Magazine a lot, especially the comic strips in it. I still remember the first comic strip was about the Chinese proverb, “Once bitten by a snake, ten years in fear of a well rope,” which implies that someone will be afraid of a similar situation after encountering a large frustration. This comic was both interesting and informative. I loved the characters in the comic because of their design – big eyes with little noses (or without noses), bigger heads with small bodies, as well as cartoonish facial expressions. To me, these features created a sense of humor and playfulness. I also loved the way the artist told the story, which was clear enough for me as a kindergarten boy to understand. Instead of telling readers the original story behind the proverb, the artist made up a story by showing what the proverb means using a humorous approach. Attracted by the character’s design and the interesting story, I became really interested in comics, and I looked forward to reading a new comic strip every week.

I did not read comic books until elementary school. Yu-Gi-Oh! and Naruto were the first two manga (Japanese comics) I read. Often, the popular manga were (and still are) produced into animated television series, even if the manga series was still ongoing. At the time, I was really 2

into the Yu-Gi-Oh! trading card game and excited to watch the newest episode of its anime

(Japanese animation) that aired on weekends. Since I was so into the storyline, I could not wait

for another week to see what would happen in the next episode. Therefore, when I went to the

bookstore, I got excited to find the newest volume of Yu-Gi-Oh! on the shelf. With my mom’s

consent, I got my very first comic book. Ever since, I purchased almost every volume of Yu-Gi-

Oh!

I was attracted to manga like Yu-Gi-Oh! and Naruto because of their interesting stories,

as well as their unique character design. They showed the growth of the characters as the story

progressed, as if I were with them in their journey. I got excited whenever there was an exciting

moment in the story, and I felt down whenever there was a sad moment. When reading manga, I

liked to imagine a different scenario for the characters, as if there was a parallel universe to the

story. For example, in Yu-Gi-Oh!, the main character, Yugi, never lost a game, but I would think

about what might happen if he lost, whom he might lose to, and how.

When I was a kid, I learned how to draw characters, such as figures, creatures, and monsters by copying and drawing them from the manga I read and the anime I watched. I

remember that I always drew my favorite characters on any unused notebooks or paper I could

find, and I would copy the character’s design and the artist’s style. After drawing hundreds and

thousands of characters from my favorite manga and anime, I thought my skills had become

good enough to create my own characters. Therefore, I tried to create my own characters and

comics that I came up with when reading the manga. However, deeply affected by the art-style of

Naruto, the characters and the story I created at that time always looked like ones from the

manga and anime that I read and watched. 3

I began studying in America during middle school and high school. Since I mostly focused on my classes, some extracurricular activities, and improving my English skills, I did not draw as much as before. However, a part of me still yearned to draw characters, to make drawings, and to do art. I tried to draw whenever I could, and I took a few art classes in high school. Even during undergraduate school when I was studying computer science, I tried to find a way to combine what I learned from animations and games. After two years studying computer science, I made the biggest decision in my life. I realized what I wanted – I wanted to become an artist. I wanted to create characters and stories that people would care about, talk about, and love.

When I transferred to the College of Design at Iowa State University and took DSN 130

(a fundamental drawing class), I met two of the most important people in my life, Professor

Chuck Richards and Taylor Carlson. Professor Richards was the instructor of the class, whereas

Taylor was the TA. They inspired me and gave me both support and encouragement to chase my

childhood dream. During my time in the College of Design, I learned many important

fundamentals, not only in art but also in comics, such as fundamental skills in drawing and value,

figure anatomy, character and scene design, and sequential narrative.

My first attempt at making comics was when I took the class, Sequential Narrative

Drawing (ARTIS 431X) with Professor Richards. I created my first short comic, The Deal. It

featured a villain I created named Lee, who tried to make a deal with the Mafia. Lee was tricked,

but he and his crew used their supernatural powers to kill the Mafia. Even though it was only a

short, nine-page comic, I had to admit that it was much more difficult than I thought. It required

a ton of work, thinking and effort from the drafting stage to revision, and then to the polishing

stage. Nonetheless, I enjoyed the process of making it. It felt like a dream come true for me when

I presented my comic to the class and displayed it in the hallway. 4

After my first attempt, I continued to make comics in Drawing IV (ARTIS 430) with

Professor Brent Holland. This time, I decided to challenge myself to create an entire chapter,

which would be at least twenty pages long. However, the second attempt was not as successful as

the first. I still remember the feedback I got during the in-progress critique when I presented my

rough draft: “the story was confusing and unclear” and “it was hard to follow.” Clearly, I underestimated the amount of work I needed to do. I almost lost confidence at that time. Maybe my rough draft was not clear enough. Maybe my story was not interesting. Or maybe I was not meant to be a comic artist after all. However, thanks to the encouragement from Taylor, who also concentrated on comics and had much more knowledge and experience, I quickly regained my confidence.

Later, under Professor Holland’s guidance, it was suggested that I make a short comic based on an existing story. At the time, I was into a popular multiplayer online game, League of

Legends, which had many interesting short stories for their characters. I decided to illustrate a comic based on one of the stories from the game, The Man with the Steel Cane by Odin Austin

Shafer. While working on this short comic, I sought help and advice from Professor Richards, who is very knowledgeable in sequential art. As I showed the finished short comic to my classmates, I got good feedback from them. This experience made me realize that there was much more about making comics that I did not know.

So, what makes my short comics, The Deal and The Man with the Steel Cane, more successful than my attempt on chapter-long comic? What are the methods or approaches I applied in my short comics? Are there any “rules” that one has to follow to create a good comic?

I have been wondering about these questions ever since, and I want to find out and learn more 5 about how to make a good comic. This has been the primary goal motivating my graduate studies. 6

CHAPTER 2. RESEARCH

Scott McCloud’s Principles of Clarity

Comics are a form of storytelling. Like every novel, comics require clarity, that is,

making readers understand the story. In this chapter, I will describe my research on the

techniques of clarity of storytelling in comics according to McCloud’s Principles of Clarity from

his book, Making Comics.

Scott McCloud is an American comic artist and theorist who wrote the books that

provided me with a deeper insight about comics, which include Understanding Comics, Making

Comics, and Reinventing Comics. He stated two goals that every storyteller wants: “We want

readers to understand what we have to tell them, and we want them to care enough to stick

around ‘til we’re done” (McCloud, Making Comics 8). To achieve the first goal, artists need to

learn and understand Principles of Clarity, in other words, how to communicate with clarity

(McCloud, Making Comics 9). Looking back on my comics that failed in the past, I can see how

they lacked clarity and confused my readers.

Are there any “rules” to create a good comic? In fact, there are no universal rules or

specific step-by-step instructions about making a comic. All comic artists have their own

processes and methods when they create comics. According to McCloud, when it comes to

clarity, there are a series of choices that comic artists need to make, and they are Choice of

Moment, Choice of Frame, Choice of Image, Choice of Word, and Choice of Flow. These five

choices are central to McCloud’s Principles of Clarity. There is no specific order in which an artist should apply these choices. Often, artists revisit these choices multiple times, jumping from

one to another (McCloud, Making Comics 37).

Choice of Moment

The first choice in McCloud’s Principles of Clarity is Choice of Moment. It is simply choosing the moments that matter to the story and leaving out the ones that do not (McCloud,

Making Comics 37). Choice of Moment is usually made during the planning stages, along with

Choice of Frame and Choice of Flow (McCloud, Making Comics 37). In fact, it is usually the very first step when making a comic.

When choosing the moments of the story, artists can have any number of moments they want to show in a scene or the story. However, “when clarity is your sole purpose, your story’s moments should be like a dot-to-dot puzzle,” and removing one moment will change the entire story (McCloud, Making Comics 14). If any moment does not move the story forward, it should be taken out. Depending on the story, artists may have to either add more panels to emphasize the characters, idea, or mood, or eliminate panels for efficiency (McCloud, Making Comics 37).

Note that in comics, the panel is used to “capture or ‘freeze’ one segment in what is in reality an uninterrupted flow of action” (Eisner 39). In other words, panels illustrate a moment in the story.

Once these moments are decided, there are six Panel-to-Panel Transitions that help connect the moments and tell the reader what is going on. Often, artists will need to utilize a combination of two or more transitions to help clarify or emphasize the action, idea, or mood that is happening in the story.

The first Panel-to-Panel Transition is Moment-to-Moment Transition. Moment-to-

Moment Transition shows “a single action portrayed in a series of moments” and is useful when the artist wants to slow down the action, increase suspense, and/or create movie-like motion

(McCloud, Making Comics 15-16). An example of Moment-to-Moment Transition can be seen in

McCloud’s graphic novel, The Sculptor, where the girl, Meg, turns around with her eyes widened

(see figure 1). In the first panel, McCloud establishes the focus in this panel, Meg, the girl who 8

David (the character in the fifth panel) chases at a party since she resembles the angel that he saw on the street earlier that day. From the second panel to the fourth, McCloud uses Moment-to-

Moment Transition to slow down Meg’s action and slowly zooms in on her face until her eyes meet with David’s.

Figure 1. An example of Moment-to-Moment Transition from Scott McCloud’s The Sculptor; Roaring Brook Press, 2015. Source: Read Comic Online, readcomiconline.to/Comic/The-Sculptor.

The second Panel-to-Panel Transition is Action-to-Action Transition. Action-to-Action

Transition shows a single subject in a series of actions, and it is efficient at moving the story forward (McCloud, Making Comics 15-16). One example of Action-to-Action Transition can be seen in Kohei Horikoshi’s My Hero Academia, where the character, All Might, comes to rescue

Izuku from the villain (see figure 2). Note that My Hero Academia is manga, so it is read from right to left. The first, fourth, fifth, and sixth panels show All Might’s action from the start to the end. Firstly, he emerges from the sewer in the first panel. Secondly, he is in the ready position in the fourth panel. Thirdly, he is in the moment of throwing a punch in the fifth panel. Finally, he creates a shock wave to blow the villain away from Izuku. These panels only show a moment per action, but they clearly demonstrate that All Might saves Izuku from the villain.

Figure 2. An example of Action-to-Action Transition from Kohei Horikoshi’s My Hero Academia; vol. 1, ch. 1, Shueisha, 2014 – present, p. 28-29. Source: VIZ, www.viz.com/shonenjump/my-hero-academia-chapter- 1/chapter/4737?action=read. 10

The third Panel-to-Panel Transition is Subject-to-Subject Transition. Subject-to-Subject

Transition shows a series of changing subjects while staying within the same scene or idea

(McCloud, Making Comics 15). According to McCloud, Subject-to-Subject Transition is efficient at moving the story forward (McCloud, Making Comics 16); it sometimes requires a greater degree of readers’ involvement (McCloud, Understanding Comics 71). In the manga,

Naruto by Masashi Kishimoto, the artist uses Subject-to-Subject Transition within the same scene (see figure 3). In the third panel, the character, the Third Hokage, spots Naruto and asks him what he is doing at his place in the middle of the night. The fourth panel shows the exterior of the Third Hokage’s house as Naruto yells, “Behold – the Ninja Centerfold.” Then, the fifth panel shows the Third Hokage passing out on the floor. The subject changes from the third to the fifth panel, but they still stay within the same scene – in the

Third Hokage’s house. This example also shows why

Subject-to-Subject Transition requires readers’ involvement.

In the fourth panel, even though it does not show what Naruto does exactly, the readers can Figure 3. An example of Subject-to-Subject Transition from Masashi Kishimoto’s Naruto; vol. 1, ch. 1, Shueisha, 1999 – 2014, p. 20. Source: infer from the name of the VIZ, www.viz.com/shonenjump/chapters/naruto?locale=en. 11 ninjutsu (literally meaning “ninja techniques”), the Ninja Centerfold, that Naruto transforms himself into a sexy woman to make the Third Hokage unconscious, the same way he did to Iruka earlier in chapter one of Naruto (see figure 4).

Figure 4. Naruto uses the Ninja Centerfold on Iruka; Kishimoto, Masashi. Naruto. Vol. 1, ch. 1, Shueisha, 1999 –

2014, p. 10. Source: VIZ, www.viz.com/shonenjump/chapters/naruto?locale=en.

The fourth Panel-to-Panel Transition is Scene-to-Scene Transition. Scene-to-Scene

Transition helps transport the reader across significant distances of time and space

(McCloud, Understanding Comics 71).

Realworlds: Wonder Woman by Glen Hanson et al. shows Scene-to-Scene Transition that

demonstrates a shift in place while the time

stays the same (see figure 5). The first three panels show Stefan Rzepetska being interviewed in a room about his attending a meeting with a communist sympathizer. The

fourth panel shows a caption box stating,

“Speak up, Mr. Rzepetska… It’s your duty as Figure 5. An example of Scene-to-Scene Transition (shift in place) from Glen Hanson et al. Realworlds: Wonder an American…” and Brenda Kelly leaving Woman; DC Comics, 2000, p. 9. Source: Read Comic Online, readcomiconline.to/Comic/Realworlds-Wonder- Hollywood by car, which transports readers Woman.

from the place where Rzepetska is being interviewed to Hollywood (suggested by the Hollywood

panel is a part of the conversation from the third panel, and the shape of smoke in the third panel

is also seen in the fourth. Both the indications imply the connection between these two panels.

Another example of Scene-to-Scene Transition can be seen in Richard McGuire’s Here, in which he shows “a single location at many different points in time” (Postema 43) (see figure

6). McGuire first establishes an undated, empty room with a window in the first panel. In the second panel, he shows a couple moving into the house, a few pieces of furniture, and the year, “1957,” at the top-left corner. In the third panel, the location and the year are the same as the second panel. Even though the year is still 1957, the time changes from day to night, and the wife has finished giving birth

(the wife was shown pregnant, and the gender of the baby was unknown Figure 6. An example of Scene-to-Scene Transition (shift in time) from Richard McGuire’s Here; 1989, p. 88. Source: Archieve.org, in the second panel). Afterward, the web.archive.org/web/20100814190317/http://www.rci.rutgers.edu/~j bass/courses/402/402_mcguire_here.htm. time changes once again as the wife holds a baby in her arms, and it is daytime outside the window, whereas the location stays the same. McGuire also uses the insets (“layouts consist of framed panels that exist within or overlap larger panels”) in the comic to “give glimpses into multiple times, sometimes giving a sense of synchronicity” (Postema 43). For example, in the last two panels in figure 6, McGuire includes the moments not only from the timeline in the previous panels, 1957, but also from the other 14

timelines like 1922, 1971, and 1999. These moments are from different timelines, but when they are shown in the same main panel, they create a unique storytelling, which is the “synchronicity”

Postema talked about. In the fourth panel, the husband asks his wife if he can get her anything. In the main panel of the fifth (1922), the woman says “What?” as if she is replying to the husband’s question in the fourth panel. Then, in the inset (1957), the wife says, “Could you bring in his bottle?”, which creates a sense that these moments are going on in the same timeline.

While Hanson’s Realworlds: Wonder Woman shows an example of Scene-to-Scene

Transition that demonstrates a shift in place, and McGuire’s Here shows an example that demonstrates a shift in time, Horikoshi’s My

Hero Academia demonstrates a shift in both place and time (see figure 7). In figure 7, the flashback occurs from the first panel to the fifth one, which takes place at Izuku’s home when he was a little kid. In Japanese manga, flashbacks are communicated by making the spaces between the panels black. In the sixth panel and the seventh one, the flashback ends, and the time shifts to the present – Izuku is now a high school student, indicated by his school uniform – and the place shifts from

Izuku’s home to a tunnel.

Figure 7. An example of Scene-to-Scene Transition (shift in both in place and time) from Kohei Horikoshi’s My Hero Academia; vol. 1, ch. 1, Shueisha, 2014 – present, p. 25. Source: VIZ, www.viz.com/shonenjump/my-hero- academia-chapter-1/chapter/4737?action=read. 15

The fifth Panel-to-Panel Transition is Aspect-to-

Aspect Transition. Aspect-to-Aspect Transition is a

“transition from one aspect of a place, idea or mood to another” (McCloud, Making Comics 15). This type of transition “suits the narrative to have time stand still and let the eye wander” and “creates a strong sense of place and mood” (McCloud, Making Comics 17). In

Act 3 of Naoki Urasawa’s Pluto (see figure 8), Urasawa uses four aspect shots to establish the next scene.

Through Aspect-to-Aspect Transition, Urasawa Figure 8. An example of Aspect-to-Aspect Transition from Naoki Urasawa’s Pluto; vol. 1, 2003 – 2009. Source: Read Graphic Novels creates a strong sense of the place that the main Online, readgraphicnovels.blogspot.com/2017/05/read- character lives in. Stan Lee and Jack Kirby’s The naoki-urasawa-pluto-graphic-novel-manga.html.

Silver Surfer shows a different use of Aspect-to-Aspect Transition (see figure 9). In figure 9, the

panels, except the center one, show the reactions of people

from one group to another when they first see the humanoid

alien, the Silver Surfer.

Figure 9. Another example of Aspect-toAspect Transition from Stan Lee and Jack Kirby’s The Silver Surfer; Simon & Schuster, 1978. Source: Read Comic Online, readcomiconline.to/Comic/The-Silver-Surfer. 16

Lastly, the sixth Panel-to-Panel Transition is Non-Sequitur Transition. Non-Sequitur transition shows “a series of seemingly nonsensical, unrelated images and/or words” (McCloud, Making

Comics 15). McCloud stated that Non-Sequitur

Transition is often used in experimental comics as a nonsense gag (McCloud, Making Comics 17). Since it may not help move the story forward, Non-

Sequitur Transition does not contribute to clarity.

Robert Crumb’s Zap Comix (see figure 10) is an example of Non-Sequitur Transition, which contains panels that do not seem to have any relationship to one another. It is rarely seen in many comics today, Figure 10. An Example of Non-Sequitur from Robert Crumb’s “Abstract Expressionist Ultra but McCloud stated that “no matter how dissimilar Super Modernistic Comic”; Zap Comix, no.1, Fantagraphics Books, 1967, p. 12. Source: Read one image may be to another, there is kind of Comic Online. readcomiconline.to/Comic/Zap- Comix. alchemy at work in the space between panels which can help us find meaning” (McCloud, Understanding Comics 73). In other words, even though the images do not seem to be related to one another, there could be a meaning or a reason behind why the artist chose them in the panels. Robert Crumb’s Zap Comix was created during the Cold

War period (1945 – 1989), when “old-fashioned legislators believed American youths were susceptible to forces of evil filtered through rock 'n' roll and comic books” (Heller, “Comics for the Youth Movement, Not for Kids”). In Crumb’s “Abstract Expressionist Ultra Super

Modernistic Comic” in Zap Comix, he shows his views of conventional life with the theme of high art. 17

An important thing that McCloud mentions in Choice of Moment is “even with rough sketches, a casual reader should now be able to ‘read’ the action clearly” (McCloud, Making

Comics 12). This was the biggest issue I had when I presented my chapter-long story to my class.

Having clear and readable sketches for the comic is an important step in Choice of Moment because it establishes clarity for the readers.

Choice of Frame

The second aspect in McCloud’s Principles of Clarity is Choice of Frame. The frame in

the comic is readers’ camera, so Choice of Frame is the stage where artists decide how to frame

the moments of the story, in other words, how to compose the image in each panel. The goals are

to “show the readers what they need to see” and “create

a sense of place, position, and focus” (McCloud,

Making Comics 37). Choice of Frame is usually made

during the planning stages, along with Choice of Flow

(McCloud, Making Comics 37).

When deciding Choice of Frame, there are Figure 11. An example of Bird’s Eye View from Boichi’s Wallman; Shueisha, 2013. many factors that the artist needs to take into

consideration, such as the camera’s angle, distance, height,

balance, and centering (McCloud, Making Comics 37).

The “camera” or the composition of the panel is important

to clarity of a story because composition can create a

certain mood or atmosphere for the scene. For example, Figure 12. An example of Worm’s Eye View both Bird’s Eye View (see figure 11) and Worm’s Eye from Kurt Busiek and Alex Ross’ Marvels; no. 2, Marvel, 1994. Source: Read Comic Online, View (see figure 12) can be used to show a scene, but readcomiconline.to/Comic/Marvels-1994. 18 they provide different moods. According to McCloud, Bird’s Eye View can “give readers access to a wealth of information about a setting and a sense of rising above it all emotionally,” whereas

Worm’s Eye View can “give weight and grandeur to objects and characters” (McCloud, Making

Comics 21).

The shape and size of frames can be used to tell the story, communicate the sound and emotions, and contribute to the atmosphere of the page as well (Eisner 45). Normally, the square panels are perceived as a normal time pace. Different sizes, shapes, and arrangement of panels not only create different impacts on the story but also help guide the reading flow. Charles

Burns’ Black Hole is an example of how panel shape communicates certain ideas (see figure 13).

In Black Hole, Burns uses wavy-lined panels to illustrate flashbacks, fantasies, and dreams

(Raney, “Review of Charles Burns Black Hole”).

Figure 13. An example of using panel shape to communicate ideas from Charles Burns’ Black Hole; no. 2,

Fantagraphics Books, 1995-2004. Source: Read Comic Online, readcomiconline.to/Comic/Black-Hole. 19

Choice of Image

Choice of Image is basically how the artist renders the images in their comic, including the characters, expressions, objects, and environments. Choice of Image is usually the very last

step in making comics after the moments, frames, text, and reading flow are all settled

(McCloud, Making Comics 37). The most important question that artists need to ask themselves

as they create images: “Will the readers get the messages?” (McCloud, Making Comics 29) Like

Barbara Postema said in her book, Narrative Structure in Comics, “…in graphic literature such

as comics, […] showing is telling” (Postema 109). Postema is currently a senior lecturer in the

School of English and Media Studies in Massey University and the author of Narrative Structure

in Comics: Making Sense of Fragments. Her main research involves comics form, theory, and

history, and narrative theory.

Specificity is the key when artists create their images in comics. Specificity helps

communicate the characters, their emotions, their world, and their story clearly to the readers.

There are many ways that help artists achieve specificity, depending on what they want to

achieve. If an artist wants to create a realistic world, it is important to know both anatomy and perspective. If an artist wants to convey a certain emotion, it can be helpful to study different facial expressions or learn symbolic expressions. If an artist wants to create a certain artistic style

for their comics, it will be beneficial to study other comic artists’ styles. Unlike movies (and even novels), there are no sounds or indications of volume when a character is speaking, so how the artists portray a character’s facial expression is going to affect how the readers perceive the message. Studying and gathering various references not only help the artist come up with a specific and unique design but also make the story clearer.

In The Dark Knight Returns, Frank Miller’s Choice of Image, specifically, his style and depiction of Batman, create different feeling for the story. Miller’s loose linework in The Dark 20

Knight Returns “gives the characters and the world around them a grimy look” (Van As, “Taking

A Look At Frank Miller’s Classic Batman: The Dark Knight Returns”). His depiction of Batman was different from the other depictions of Batman during the period; Miller’s Batman was huge with bulging muscles, whereas the others were “muscular, but in a way that was more athletic”

(Van As, “Taking A Look At Frank Miller’s Classic Batman: The Dark Knight Returns”). Some people may think that Miller’s style and depiction of Batman are ugly, but “[Miller’s] superhero figures are intentionally ugly and surreal because the world of The Dark Knight Returns is an ugly, surreal place” (Schedeen, “Between the Panels: In Defense of Frank Miller's Batman”), which fits with the dark tone of the story.

Jason Little’s Jack’s Luck Runs Out also shows how Choice of Image impacts the story.

Jack’s Luck Runs Out features three main characters, Jack, Gina, and Rex. Little decides to choose the three face cards found on standard playing cards for this character design: “The character Jack has the face of the Jack of Diamonds; his girlfriend Gina is represented by the

Queen of Diamonds, and nightclub owner and shady character Rex is the King of Spades”

(Postema 10). Throughout the story, the characters’ facial expressions never change, but Little utilizes the symbolic expressions

to communicate the characters’ expressions.

Figure 14 shows the three characters in the

car. There are bubbles around their heads

(and some are shown popped), which

indicates that the trio is drunk (Postema 9). Figure 14. An example of using symbolic expression to communicate the characters’ expressions from Jason Figure 15 shows the end of the story. Even Little’s Jack’s Luck Runs Out; Beekeeper Cartoon Amusements, 1998, p. 6. Source: Read Comic Online, readcomiconline.to/Comic/Jack-s-Luck-Runs-Out. 21

though the readers do not see the shot

being fired or Jack’s dead body, they

can infer that Rex kills Jack at the

end since “the world of the comic is Figure 15. Another example of using symbolic expression to determined by the rules of the card communicate the characters’ expressions from Jason Little’s Jack’s Luck Runs Out; Beekeeper Cartoon Amusements, 1998, p. 18. game, where the king always beats Source: Read Comic Online. readcomiconline.to/Comic/Jack-s-Luck- Runs-Out. the jack” (Postema 11). In figure 15,

Little uses symbolic expressions again. When Gina hears the gun shot coming from the room,

beads of sweat around her head show anxiousness, and the exclamation marks indicate that she is

shocked by the sound.

In Making Comics, McCloud lists four different ways to represent a character’s

expression: realism, simplification, exaggeration, and symbolism. In the example of Gina’s expression, Little uses a more abstract symbolic expression to convey anxiousness since, realistically, sweat does not float above the head. The same anxious expression can also be conveyed in another method. In Hiromu

Arakawa’s Fullmetal Alchemist (see figure

16), the Elric brothers are shocked and anxious (as well as intimidated) by their teacher, Izumi. In the third panel, it shows the Elric brothers’ sweat coming down the back of their heads, which is a simplification. On the other hand, the way Figure 16. Arakawa, Hiromu. Fullmetal Alchemist. Vol. 6, ch. 25, Square Enix, 2001-2010. Source: Fullmetal Alchemist the Elric brothers’ hair and shoulders Manga Online, full-metal-alchemist.com/manga/fullmetal- alchemist-chapter-25/. 22

“jump” is a symbolic expression, which refers to the idiom in which people “jump” when they get scared, while in figure 15, Little uses the text (exclamation marks) to express their shocked reaction.

Choice of Word

Choice of Word involves word choices that can “clearly and persuasively communicate ideas, voices and sounds in seamless combination with images” (McCloud, Making Comics, 37).

In comics, words give the characters voices, evoke feelings and sensations, add specificity to the images, compress and advance a story that the images sometimes cannot, as well as create sound effects (McCloud, Making Comics 128-129). It is important to keep the balance between words and images because the words are equally important as the images in comics. If a half of the panel is covered in words, it is a good idea to break up the text into smaller chunks, or add more moments, or simplify what the text says using fewer words, or maybe to tell just with the pictures. Otherwise, readers will feel like they are just reading text (McCloud, Making Comics

141).

McCloud writes about seven ways on how words and pictures can be used together. The first Word-Image Combination is Word-Specific, which is when “words provide all you need to know, while the pictures illustrate aspects of the scene being described” (McCloud, Making

Comics 130). It relies upon “the written word’s ability to reduce big chunks of time and information down to a few tiny words,” and it is useful when the artist wants to get into an important part of the story (McCloud, Making Comics 131). The caption boxes in Jazan Wild’s 23

Dandy are one example of Word-Specific

Combination (see figure 17). In figure 17,

the image only shows an exterior scene of

a restaurant with the silhouette of Dandy

and Scarlett, but the words provide

readers with all the information about the Figure 17. An example of Word-Specific combination from Jazan Wild’s Dandy; no. 1, comiXology (E-book), no. 1, scene – what Dandy and Scarlett talked Carnival Comics, 2018.

about, Scarlett’s reaction towards Dandy’s jokes, and Dandy’s feeling about Scarlett. Therefore,

the image in the panel is there to accompany the words and show a part of the scene.

The second Word-Image Combination is Picture-Specific, which is when “pictures provide all you need to know, while the words accentuate aspects of the scene being shown”

(McCloud, Making Comics 130). According to

McCloud, a Picture-Specific sequence can

“function without any words at all for as long as necessary,” and it can “provoke a sense of direct experience and immediacy” (McCloud, Making

Comics 134). When incorporating the text, it can evoke the sounds or provide “a character’s inner life and sensations” (McCloud, Making Comics

134). In figure 18, the first four panels of Brian

Azzarello and Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Figure 18. An example of Picture-Specific combination from Brian Azzarello and Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns: The Last Crusade; DC Returns: The Last Crusade show a sequence of Comics, 2016, p.51. Source: Read Comic Online, readcomiconline.to/Comic/The-Dark-Knight-Returns- The-Last-Crusade. 24

how Batman defeats Killer Croc. Even though there are caption boxes in the panels, the images

themselves can function without any words. The images show how Batman defeats Killer Croc

at the end, while the words in the caption boxes tell readers what is going on Batman’s mind

throughout the sequence.

The third Word-Image Combination is Duo-Specific, which is when both words and

pictures send roughly the same message (McCloud, Making Comics 130). McCloud points out

that Duo-Specific Combination can be redundant, but it is useful to ensure clarity in info-comics

or evoke the tone of a children’s book (McCloud, Making Comics 135). An example of Duo-

Specific Combination can be seen in Alan Moore’s Watchmen (see figure 19). In the first panel, the sentence says, “The photograph is in my hand,” which precisely matches with the image in the panel because it shows a close-up of the character, Doctor Manhattan, holding a picture in his hand.

Figure 19. An example of Duo-Specific combination from Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons’ Watchmen; issue no. 4,

DC Comics, 1986-1987, p. 1. Source: Read Comic Online, readcomiconline.to/Comic/Watchmen.

The fourth Word-Image Combination is

Intersecting, which is when “the words and pictures cover some of the same ground, but each one adds significant details or perspective to the scene,” and “readers can partially make sense of without the words, and partially make sense of Figure 20. An example of Intersecting from Jeff without the art” (McCloud, Making Comics 136). Smith’s Bone; no. 5, Cartoon Books, 1991 – 2004. Source: Read Comic Online, In the example of Jeff Smith’s Bone (see figure readcomiconline.to/Comic/Bone-1991

20), the two characters, Lucius Down and Phoney Bone, focus on the paper money. Lucius’ dialogue, “What’s this?”, provides the information about the character’s knowledge of the paper money – he has never seen it before – while Phoney’s dialogue, “Two eggs, pal! […] Did th’ price go up?”, implies the value of the money in Lucius’ hands. In the image, Lucius is squinting at the paper money in his hands, showing his attitude towards it, and Phoney’s hand gesture (two

fingers up) suggests the money is worth two eggs. Beauchard’s Epileptic also shows an example

of Intersecting Combination (see figure 21). The words and the

image cover the same subject – Jean-Christophe, the boy with

the glasses. The mother asks, “Jean-Christophe, are you OK?”,

which shows the mother’s concern about Jean-Christophe,

while the image shows Jean-Christophe, who is shown having

epileptic seizure. Therefore, the words and the image in the

panel “intersect.”

Figure 21. Another example of Intersecting from David Beauchard’s Epileptic, Pantheon Books, 2005. Source: Read Comic Online, readcomiconline.to/Comic/Epileptic. 26

The fifth Word-Image Combination is

Interdependent, which is when neither words nor pictures could convey an idea alone. This combination “keeps readers’ minds fully engaged because it requires them to assemble meanings out of such different parts” (McCloud, Making

Comics 130, 137). An example of Interdependent

Combination can be seen in chapter 126 of ONE Figure 22. An example of Interdepedent from ONE and Yusuke Murata’s One-Punch Man. After Flashy and Yusuke Murata’s One-Punch Man; ch. 126, Shueisha, 2009 – present, p. 19. Source: Flash (the character with long hair), Saitama (the MangaBat, read.mangabat.com/read-el14060. bald character), and a one-eyed monster successfully make it across the broken rail, Flashy Flash checks on

Saitama and asks him “What’s wrong?” Saitama replies “Nothing,” but clearly, his facial expression says something different (in the fourth panel in figure

22). The reason is because as they flew across the rail,

Saitama dropped the gold he found in the dungeon as saving the one-eyed monster (see figure 23). So, if readers only take Saitama’s words without looking at the image in the fourth panel in figure 22, they will think he is fine. However, without the words, readers will not know he is lying. Figure 23. Saitama drops the gold as saving the one-eyed monster; ONE and Yusuke Murata. One-Punch Man; ch. 126, Shueisha, 2009 – present, p.18. Source: MangaBat, read.mangabat.com/read-el14060.

The sixth Word-Image

Combination is Parallel, which is when

words have nothing to do with the pictures,

and they do not connect at all. It is useful

to create a “dense, layered texture” from

one scene to another, or to soften a

transition from one scene to another

(McCloud, Making Comics 138). Figure 24

is an example of Parallel from Koyoharu

Gotouge’s Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no

Yaiba. The words in the fourth panel are

the thoughts of the character, Tanjiro, in

which he recalls the words his grandma

said before she died – “When happiness Figure 24. An example of Parallel from Koyoharu Gotouge’s Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba; vol. 1, ch. 1, ends, there’s always the smell of blood in the Shueisha, 2016-2020. Source: VIZ, www.viz.com/shonenjump/demon-slayer-kimetsu-no- air.” However, the image in the panel shows yaiba-chapter-1/chapter/15253. mountains, which is not related to what the text says. Parallel Combination is used here to soften the transition from the scene in the third panel, where Tanjiro leaves the town, to the scene in the fifth panel, where he gets back to his home and sees his two sisters lying on the ground and covered with blood. 28

The last Word-Image Combination is

Montage, which is when “words and pictures combined pictorially” (McCloud, Making Comics

130). In Will Eisner’s A Contract with God, the way the title of the comic book is incorporated into the image in the panel – the words look like they are carved into the stone tablet – is an example of

Montage (see figure 25). Some cartoonists also Figure 25. An example of Montage from Will Eisner’s try to show captions and word balloons in a A Contract with God; DC Comics, 1978. Source: Read Comic Online, readcomiconline.to/Comic/A-Contract- pictorial sense. Sound effects and onomatopoeia with-God-1978.

(words that imitate sound produced by objects) belong to this category as well. In comics, the size, shape, and style of font are important tools to give indication about the sound, such as the volume of the sound (McCloud, Making Comics 144). Eiichiro Oda’s One Piece shows an example of how text indicates the volume of the sound (see figure 26). In the first panel of figure

26, there is a big, bold text, “ガキイン”

(“Claang”) or the sound when two metallic

objects collide with exclamation marks, which

gives readers a sense of a loud sound as Zoro’s

blade clashes with Arlong’s unbreakable nose.

Also, in the second panel, the text, “ハア”

(“haa”), is small, which indicates that Zoro is

breathing softly. Figure 26. An example of onomatopoeia in Japanese manga; Oda, Eiichiro. One Piece. Shueisha, 1997- present. Source: “how to translate xfx and/or onomatopoeia of the one piece manga.” 29

Another example of Montage can be seen in Kishimoto’s Naruto (see figure 27). In the translated version of Naruto, the word, “fsssst,” not only indicates the sound but also mimics the shape and movement of smoke, although the use of Montage in the translated version is not in the original manga. As McCloud explains, words provide readers with “a rare chance to listen with their eyes” (McCloud, Making Comics 146).

Figure 27. Another example of Montage from the English translated version of Naruto; Kishimoto, Masashi. Naruto. Shueisha, 1999 – 2014. Source: VIZ, www.viz.com/shonenjump/chapters/naruto?locale=en.

Choice of Flow

The last category in McCloud’s Principles of Clarity is Choice of Flow, which is about

guiding readers between and within panels from the beginning to the end in a clear, intentional

sequence of images and making them have a smooth reading experience (McCloud, Making

Comics 32, 34). Like Choice of Moment and Choice of Frame, Choice of Flow is also made during the planning stages (McCloud, Making Comics 37). 30

McCloud states that Choice of Flow depends on the “unwritten contract between artists and readers” (McCloud, Making Comics

32), in other words, making use of the conventional reading order of their culture. In

Western comic books, the reading order is Figure 28. Z-path reading flow (in Western culture); from left to right, and from top to bottom, Eisner, Will. Comics and Sequential Art. 1985. which is also known as “Z-path” (Cohn,

“Navigating comics”) (see figure 28). This

reading order also applies to both captions

and speech balloons (McCloud, Making

Comics 32). On the other hand, in Japanese

manga, the reading order is opposite – from

right to left, and from top to bottom, while

the text is often written and read vertically Figure 29. Z-path reading flow (in Japanese manga); Takaya, Natsuki. Fruits Basket. 1998 – 2006. Source: (Cohn, “Navigating comics”) (see figure “Visual Languages of Manga and Comics”

29).

Ideally, readers will be able to follow the page based on the conventional reading order.

However, there are no rules of the reading sequence in comics, and readers may read in any

order. That said, there are ways for artists to predict what readers will pay attention to and guide

them in the right direction. One simple way, as McCloud suggests, is to avoid having confusing

panel arrangement (McCloud, Making Comics 33). 31

An example of confusing panel arrangement that

McCloud specifically provided in Making Comics is

“Blockage” (see figure 30), which occurs “when panels

are stacked vertically next to a panel that runs the distance

of the vertical panels,” and it is often regarded as a

problematic page layout by many comic creators Figure 30. Blockage layout; Cohn, Neil. “Navigating comics: An empirical and theoretical approach to strategies of reading (Cohn, “Navigating comics”). The reason is because comic page layouts.” 2013. if the readers follow Z-path reading order in figure

30, they will read from the panel A to the panel C, leaving the panel B (which is vertically stacked below the panel A) unread, which can confuse the readers and pull them out from the story (McCloud,

Making Comics 33). Figure 31 is an example of Figure 31. An example of Blockage in comic books; Yang, Gene Luen. The Shadow Hero. First blockage layout from Gene Luen Yang’s The Second Books, 2014.

Shadow Hero.

Neil Cohn, an American cognitive scientist at the Center for Research in Language,

University of California San Diego, examined how page layouts affected the readers’ decision on

Z-path reading order. Cohn conducted two studies in 2013 and 2015. In both studies, Cohn gave the participants pages with different arrangements of empty panels and asked them to number the

panels in the order they would read them (Cohn, “Navigating comics”). In his 2013 study,

“Navigating comics: An empirical and theoretical approach to strategies of reading comic page layouts,” he includes comic page layouts like grid, blockage, separation, overlap, staggering, inset, and entry-point layouts; and in his 2015 study, “Navigating comics II: constraints on the 32 reading order of comic page layouts,” he includes single- panel, two-panels, 2x2 grid, blockage/staggering, separation, and overlap layouts (Cohn, “Navigating comics”; Cohn and

Campbell, “Navigating Figure 32. Statistics of participants’ reading order when Blockage layout is presented. Cohn, Neil, and Hannah Campbell. “Navigating comics II: Constraints comics II”). The results of on the reading order of comics page layouts.” 2015. both studies show that the participants used the Z-path less when the blockage layout (and its variations) were given. In other words, the participants read down most of the time first and were not confused by it in the way that McCloud describes (see figure 32) (Cohn, “Navigating comics”; Cohn and Campbell, “Navigating comics II”).

Salgood Sam also provided his analysis of the blockage layout on his blog, “Flow, & the Eyelines!” Salgood Sam is the pen name of

Max Douglas, who is a professional comic artist, illustrator, and art teacher. He examined an example from Drawing Words and Writing

Pictures, written by an American comic book writer and artist, Jessica Abel, in 2008 (see figure 33), where Abel created an example to Figure 33. Salgood Sam’s analysis of how readers would read Jessica Abel’s example of Blockage layout. Abel, illustrate the issue of blockage layout. Sam Jessica, and Matt Madden. Drawing Words & Writing Pictures: Making Comics: Manga, Graphic Novels, and Beyond. First Second Books, 2008.

thought that the reading flow in figure 33 does not cause reading confusion (Sam, “Flow, & the

Eyelines!”). In this example, most readers would go to the right panel instead of down due to its

in-page design, specifically, the elements within the panel (Sam, “Flow, & the Eyelines!”). First, the “beep beep” sound effects in the panel B are aligned with the word balloons in the panel A, which pull the readers to the right. Next, the radiating undulating lines in the panel B act like arrows and direct the readers from the edge of the panel A into B. Lastly, the direction the character faces and his right elbow in the panel B guides the readers from the panel B to C (Sam,

“Flow, & the Eyelines!”).

Sam went on to analyze another blockage 3 example, which is from Arkie Ring’s webcomic, Robo

Hole (see figure 34). In figure 34, Arkie Ring uses non-

rectangular panel shapes in the blockage layout. The most 1 important issue that Sam points out is that the sound effect

and the robot’s arms in the first panel subtly guide the

readers towards the 2 robot’s arm in the

third panel (Sam, Figure 34. Ring, Arkie. Robo Hole, 2015. Tapas. https://tapas.io/series/Robo-Hole. “Flow, & the

Eyelines!”). As a result, the second panel is skipped, which leads to confusion. Again, this is another example where the elements inside the panel subtly affect the reading flow. However, Sam provides a few minor adjustments on Arkie Ring’s page to resolve this issue Figure 35. Salgood Sam’s fix to Arkie Ring's Robo Hole page. Source: “Flow, & the Eyelines!” 34

(see figure 35). In the original page, the spacing in the gutters (or the empty space between the

panels) is even on the page, but in Sam’s version, he shifts the first two panels to be closer to

each other, moving the third panel closer to the fourth and the fifth. Sam grouped these panels to

direct the reader’s eye down after reading the first panel. He also moved the sound effect text in the first panel “so that it no longer leads the reader to look to the right directly at the robot’s arm in panel three, but rather helps bring them down to the second panel below” (Sam, “Flow, & the

Eyelines!”). Even though McCloud and Abel suggested that blockage layout could cause reading

confusion, in the last two examples, Sam demonstrates that the panel arrangement (like the gutter

size) and the arrangement of elements inside the panel (like sound effect text and word balloons)

can help indicate the reading flow more clearly.

As previously mentioned, not only do the arrangement of the panels impact the

reading flow, but the composition, motion, and

direction of the elements within each panel can

also direct it. Figure 36 shows an example of a

page from Mended Arrow’s graphic novel, The

Little Red Fish, where he utilizes visual cues in

the panels – specifically, the direction of his characters’ motion (in the first two panels) and their facing direction (in the last two panels), which create a diagonal line that indicates the

Figure 36. Mended Arrow’s techniques for guiding the reading flow through visual cues in the panels; Moffitt, James and Mended Arrow. The Little Red Fish, Rosarium Publishing, 2015. Source: “Panel Layout: The Golden Ratio.” 35

reading flow from one row to the next (“Panel Layout: The Golden Ratio”).

Another example is Seth’s Down the Stairs,

published in the Walrus originally along with an essay,

The Quiet Art of Cartooning (see figure 37). In the

first row of Seth’s Down the Stairs, the composition

within the panels creates a leading line (an edge that

directs readers’ eye) through the angle of the house in

the first panel, the bed sheets and the characters’ heads

in the second panel, which leads up to the level of the

character’s head in the third panel (Sam, “Flow, & the

Eyelines!”). Then, the direction of the stairs in the Figure 37. Salgood Sam’s analysis on the reading flow of Seth’s Down the Stairs; fourth and the fifth panel guides the viewers to read Walrus. 2008. Source: “Flow, & the Eyelines!” across the second row, while the angle of the desk in the eighth panel directs the viewers to the next row. Seth breaks the pattern in the ninth panel (as the character faces left instead of right) and in the eleventh panel. In my opinion, the cast shadow in the eleventh panel seems to be casting to the right, but it is not as obvious as the other indications in the comic. However, Sam thinks that by breaking the pattern, it helps bring some rhythm to the strip (Sam, “Flow, & the Eyelines!”). Seth uses the direction of the character’s action to direct the viewers from the thirteenth to the fourteenth panel, and then in the next three panels, he uses the direction of the character’s eyelines (where they are looking) and guides the viewers to the right. In the sixteenth panel, as the character looks out the window, his back guides the viewers from the fourth row to the last (Sam, “Flow, & the Eyelines!”). The direction of the character’s action is used again in the seventeenth panel. In the next two panels, Seth uses the 36

direction of the character’s hand pointing as the indication for reading flow. Lastly, Seth ends the

comic with the panel of the character walking down the stairs, which creates a leading line “that is not off the page to the right but back, into the story” (Sam, “Flow, & the Eyelines!”). In other words, his choices echo to the title of the comic.

Utilizing the direction of elements becomes essential to this special type of layout, Montage, which does not have any gutters and is “more like movement, leading the reader through space,

suggesting time” (Sam, “Flow, & the Eyelines!”).

Figure 38 shows an example of Montage layout from

Sam’s Dream Life: A Late Coming of Age, in which

he uses both the eyelines of the characters and the

placement of word balloons to indicate the reading Figure 38. Salgood Sam’s techniques for flow in the “snakes and ladders” style of moving path guidance the reading flow through the eyelines and the placement of word balloons. Sam, Salgood, Dream Life: A Late Coming of Age, (Sam, “Flow, & the Eyelines!”). 2014. Source: “Flow, & the Eyelines!”

As mentioned in the beginning of this section, the text in the word balloons is often

written vertically in manga. However, there are two traditional ways of writing in Japanese,

tategaki (literally, “vertical writing,” which is read from right to left) and yokogaki (literally,

“horizontal writing,” which is read from left to right) (Team Japanese, “Is Japanese Read from

Right to Left or Left to Right?”). “Tategaki is largely used in printed novels, newspapers, while yokogaki is largely useful in contexts where words from other languages need to be embedded” 37

(“Why are Manga Panels Read Differently than

Japanese Text?”). That said, manga can use both

vertical and horizontal text, and this gives manga a unique way to indicate the reading flow. Figure 39 is a

page from Fujiko Fujio’s Doraemon. The text in the

first panel is in yokogaki writing, so that means the readers will read the text from left to right, then top to bottom. Because of yokogaki’s reading flow, as the readers finish, they naturally move down to the second panel. Then, the text in the second panel changes to tategaki writing, so now the readers will read the text Figure 39. An example of how the styles of writing can help guide the reading flow in from top to bottom, then right to left. By the time the Japanese manga; Fujio, Fujiko. Doraemon, Shogakukan, 1970 – 1996. Source: “Why are readers reach the end of the panel, they will then move Manga Panels Read Differently than Japanese Text?” on to the third panel afterward (“Why are Manga

Panels Read Differently than Japanese Text?”).

Finally, McCloud provides a few other tips for artists to improve their Choice of Flow.

According to McCloud, readers usually focus on areas of change and relevance to the story, and the background details and repeated elements will tend to be ignored, so artists can use this advantage and “direct the eye through reader expectations and content” (McCloud, Making

Comics 35, 37). Also, like writing a paper, it is always a good idea to show both in-progress and finished work to friends, family, or people who enjoy reading comics, so that it will help the artist catch any potential confusion (McCloud, Making Comics 34). When proofreading on your own, a tip I got from Professor Richards is to read the work as if reading it for the first time. Like 38 making any art, when an artist works on a drawing or painting for too long, it is often difficult to spot problems of your own making. So, by looking at the work with a fresh eye, it helps the artist to be critical, to gain a new perspective to catch anything that is unclear to readers.

CHAPTER 3. APPLICATION

Application of McCloud’s Principles of Clarity in Unforgotten

Everyone has different ways to approach making a comic and only the artist knows what

methods and techniques work best for them. Nonetheless, McCloud’s Principles of Clarity is still the key. The principles described in the previous chapter have helped me to become more conscious about my decisions on the page and to focus on clear storytelling. In this section, I will

discuss how I have implemented these concepts in developing my graphic novel, Unforgotten

(see Appendix A, page 56).

Choice of Moment was the first thing I thought about while working on Unforgotten, which I adapted from a short story, Processing the Loss, written by my friend, Hannah Hoffman

(see Appendix B). Unlike a comic script, which is often written in a way where the text is broken

down by pages and panels, Hoffman’s story was written as a short story in prose. So, my first

step is to identify the moments that need to be

illustrated in the story. Working on the rough

sketches for every moment selected from the story, I

depicted each one in the most straightforward

manner, for example, showing them with either

mid- or close-up views and with minimal details

(see figure 40). By doing so, I could focus on

storytelling and clarity, with Choice of Moment

being my most important consideration to begin

with.

Figure 40. Rough sketch of page 6 in Unforgotten 40

After sketching out every moment from the

story, I would adjust the number of panels to improve

the clarity of my storytelling. I also checked to see if

the moments I picked were too “cinematic,” in other words, having too many Moment-to-Moment

Transitions, as one would expect in watching a film or animation. Since I love watching anime, I sometimes sketched out the panels frame by frame as seen in the anime, and figure 41 shows an example of this.

Comics are not movies or animations; there is Figure 41. Rough draft of page 8 in Unforgotten no need to depict every second. Therefore, I would

look at each panel and combine some moments together into one for greater clarity of

communication. In figure 41, I used five panels to portray the scene where Eli’s assistant (the

character with glasses) hands him the messages before

leaving the office (the first five panels in figure 41).

However, for efficiency, I combined the second and

the third panels into one panel since they show a

conversation between Eli and his assistant. I also

combined the fourth and the fifth panels because the

close-up action in the fourth panel, Eli’s assistant

closing the door, was not an important moment in the

story (see figure 42). Figure 42. Final draft of page 8 in Unforgotten

After the moments were chosen, I began to think about Choice of Frame. As mentioned

above, sketching out my comic in the most straightforward way allowed me to make sure the

story was told completely. However, it was often not the most interesting way to show it,

especially for the exciting moments and climax. If every panel in a comic was shown as a simplistic composition, it would be too dull to read. Framing is important because it can evoke a certain mood about the scene in the panel and establish important elements in the panel. So, my first consideration in making Choice of Frame was to identify the panels that contained the dramatic moments in the story and play around with their framing, changing the perspective and eye level in these panels.

Figure 43 shows the rough draft for Eli’s first

appearance in the story, which is an upright long shot.

Since this moment introduced one of the main protagonists in the story, I adjusted the composition of the panel (see figure 44). I changed the perspective of the panel by moving the eye level as if we are Figure 43. Rough draft of Eli’s first appearance on page 5 in Unforgotten looking up at Eli from the view of his assistant, which creates a clearer hierarchy between Eli and his assistant compared to the rough draft. I also tilted the angle in the panel to convey the uneasy, intense moment between the two characters and show the relationship between them.

Choice of Frame is also important for creating an

Establishing Shot, which is usually “a big, long-shot panel Figure 44. Final draft of Eli’s first appearance on page 5 in Unforgotten

at the beginning of each new scene,” because the information

and details included in the panel can tell readers a lot about the

place and the characters who live in it, as well as evoke a

certain mood about it (McCloud, Making Comics 28, 160, 161).

Figure 45 shows an Establishing Shot of Aviant Technology

Headquarters. With my use of three-point perspective, I have

created a sense of power, transcendence, and high status about

this building.

While working on the framing of the panels, I kept the

180-Degree Rule in mind. The 180-Degree Rule is often used in

the scene where two characters are talking to each other. Figure 45. Establishing shot of Aviant Technology Headquarters on page 22 in Generally, the two characters should be facing toward each Unforgotten

other in opposition. If the angle of view shifts 180

degrees to the opposite side during this conversation,

the two characters will appear to switch places,

causing confusion to readers (Schmidt 67). This is

particularly relevant for Unforgotten since the story

contained a lot of talking scenes. Page 18 of

Unforgotten shows the conversation scene between

Eli and Elena (see figure 46). In this page, I keep the characters on the same side – Eli is always shown on the left side, and Elena is always on the right – despite the changing perspectives and viewing Figure 46. Final draft of page 18 in Unforgotten 43

angles in the panels. Even though in the second panel, the viewing angle almost shifts 180

degrees, I maintain Eli’s position on the left side. As a result, in the third panel, readers know

that Elena is looking at Eli instead of someone else in the room.

When composing the frame within a panel, I always take every element into account,

such as characters, objects, environments, as well as word balloons, since images and words are

equally important in comics. When placing the text, I think about the overall composition inside

the panel. Does the speech bubble cover any important details in the panel? Or is there a better

framing that can not only communicate the emotion or idea but can also create available space to place the speech bubble? These are a few questions I ask myself as I decide my Choices of

Frame.

During the stage involving Choice of Image, I made sure to provide readers with specificity. This is accomplished by giving a clear distinction among the characters in the story

(see figure 47), including important details in the

scenes/environments (see figure 48), and gathering the

necessary references from online sources, photos, books, or

other artists’ work. As mentioned in Choice of Image in Figure 47. Unforgotten character art chapter 2, adding specificity applies to not only the

characters, places, and objects in the story but

also the style and graphic presentation in the

comic. Since Unforgotten is a mystery, thriller

comic, I researched comics that also contained

dark themes and tried to apply some aspects of Figure 48. Cityscape on page 21 in Unforgotten 44

their style in my graphic novel.

For example, at the end of the

comic, I show Eli in chiaroscuro Figure 49. Chiaroscuro style in the last panel on page 29 in Unforgotten (dramatic light and shadow) to

provide readers with an uneasy, mysterious feeling about the ending and foreshadow the next

part of the story (see figure 49).

After making decisions about Choice of Moment and finishing the initial rough sketches,

I thought about Choice of Word. My first step was to place the text (including both dialogue and

captions) into panels and check to see if the panel was text-heavy, or if the word balloons took too much space from the important elements in the panels. If they were, I would break the text

into smaller chunks, add more moments, or panels, or try to rephrase the dialogue.

For example, Eli’s original dialogue, “Oh, and you could do better? Consumer ratings on

Aviant’s phones have been dropping since before dear old Mom and Dad died. Throw in a new competitor and we’re bound to have trouble,” is too long to fit into the last panel on page 11 (see figure 50). So, I thought of three options here: increasing the size of the panel, rephrasing Eli’s dialogue, or breaking the dialogue in two by adding another moment. For efficiency and clarity of showing Eli’s dialogue,

I selected “Oh, and you could do better?” for showing Eli’s views on Elena and her comments Figure 50. Rough draft of page 11 in Unforgotten 45

about the company’s situation, and

then “Consumer ratings on Aviant’s

phones have been dropping since

before dear old Mom and Dad died”

for explaining the situation before Figure 51. Final draft of the last two panels on page 11 in Elena replies, “However you justify it, Unforgotten

Eli.” Thus, the final draft shows how I broke the original dialogue into two panels and selected “Oh, and you could do better?” for the last panel on

page 11 (the right panel in figure 51), Figure 52. Final draft of the first panel on page 12 in Unforgotten and “Our consumer ratings on phones

have been dropping since before Mom and Dad died” for the first panel on page 12 (see figure

52).

Gibbons states that “conversations in the real world don’t happen like they do in drama,”

and “some things look fine on the page but sound ridiculous when spoken” (Gibbons and Pilcher

20). In the original text of Unforgotten, some dialogue sounds weird when spoken. I asked

several people to proofread my comic to help me catch the weird dialogue as well as grammatic

errors that I missed. For instance, the dialogues, “Funny, I didn’t think you cared?” and “I didn’t

even think it was possible for stock to drop this low?” look more like a statement, so the question

mark at the end makes them ridiculous. Thus, I replaced question marks with periods. Eli’s

dialogue, “Consumer ratings on Aviant’s phones have been dropping since before dear old Mom

and Dad died,” is also weird considering how people normally speak. One reason is because Eli 46

is talking about his company, he does not need to state the company’s name, Aviant, and the

other reason is because people seldom call their parents “dear old Mom and Dad” in real life.

Thus, I simplified it as: “Our consumer ratings have been dropping since before Mom and Dad died” instead. Also, in terms of clarity, I rephrased Eli’s dialogue, “A lot of handle? Really Eli?

What’s it?” to “What was a lot to handle?”

While considering Choice of Frame, there

were two things that I thought about at the same

time, Choice of Flow and Intensity. Choice of Flow

refers to guiding the readers from panel to panel, so I

always paid attention to the direction of my

characters’ movement, the direction they are

looking, speed lines, and arrows. By utilizing these

directional cues, the readers have a clearer idea about

which panel they should proceed to next. Figure 53

shows an example of using the speech bubbles and

the direction of the characters’ poses to guide readers Figure 53. Guiding the reading flow through the elements within the panels on page 11 in Unforgotten throughout the page. In figure 53, the shape of Elena’s

body forms an arrow that leads the eye toward the word balloons in the first and the second

panels. In the second panel, Aviant Tech Stock Report is placed in a diagonal that leads to the word balloon in the second panel. In the third panel, the word balloon naturally guides readers downward to the fourth panel as they read. In the fourth panel, the direction Elena is pointing

then directs readers to the final panel on the page. 47

In figure 54, I used Blockage page layout, which

is a layout where panels are stacked vertically next to a

panel that runs the distance of the vertical panels (Cohn,

“Navigating comics”), but I guided the correct reading

flow through the placement of bubbles and composition

in the panels. In the first panel, the angle of Eli’s body

and the seat belt guides readers to the speech bubble. I

placed the speech bubble in the first panel close to the

top speech bubble in the second to guide readers to go

down instead of right. I used the same technique for the Figure 54. Guiding the reading flow through bottom speech bubble in the second panel and the one the placement of speech bubbles in a Blockage layout on page 22 in Unforgotten in the third.

Besides Choice of Flow, I also thought about Intensity when considering Choice of

Frame. Intensity refers to “visual techniques which add contrast, dynamism, graphic excitement

or a sense of urgency to a panel” (McCloud, Making Comics 45). There are many techniques that

artists use to increase Intensity in the comics, such as depth cues, various frame sizes and shapes, graphic contrast, exaggerated poses and expressions, virtuoso drawing technique, breaking the fourth wall, and diagonals (McCloud, Making Comics 46). Intensity is related to the framing of the scene as it not only makes a comic much more dynamic and exciting but also helps communicate an idea, concept, or emotion. I often considered this as I worked on Choice of

Frame. While selectively adding Intensity to my comic, I made sure that the story was still clear to readers and that these visual effects contributed to achieving clarity. 48

Here are several examples of how I applied the techniques of Intensity in Unforgotten. Page 7 shows the use of panel variation in size and shape to create a dynamic look to the page (see figure

55). In the first panel, I used a borderless panel to emphasize the moment when Eli’s assistant Figure 55. An example of borderless panel and panel variation on page 7 in Unforgotten accidentally drops the documents on the ground (see figure 55). Figure 56 emphasizes the loudness when the report and Zen garden miniature on the desk crash on the floor by having the text break the panel.

Overall, McCloud’s Principles of Clarity is just a guideline. It helped me make the best decisions about how to tell the story of Unforgotten to readers. As shown in this chapter, I achieved success in creating this Figure 56. An example of breaking the border on page 14 in Unforgotten graphic novel by choosing the necessary moments, composing panels thoughtfully, and illustrating images with specificity, as well as selecting words carefully.

CHAPTER 4. CONCLUSION

To create a comic that can be enjoyed has always been my dream. After working on comics throughout my journey at Iowa State University, I realized how much work and thought is needed to create a successful comic book. Comics are a form of storytelling. For readers to care and fall in love with a story, they need to first understand what the story is about, and this is the artists’ job. This requires a series of choices – Choice of Moment, Choice of Frame, Choice of Image, Choice of Word, and Choice of Flow – which must be made thoughtfully during the creative process. This is not a step-by-step recipe for success but a set of guidelines that help the artist achieve clear storytelling in their comics. I learned and followed Scott McCloud’s

Principles of Clarity as I created my graphic novel, Unforgotten (see Appendix A, page 56).

When making my panels, I also applied different tools and techniques from other comic artists, as well as online resources and books. With this series of thoughtful decisions, I tried to make sure that this story was clearly delivered to my readers.

Moving Forward

Finishing Unforgotten is my priority after my graduation, as I am only halfway through the story. I want to finish it not only for myself, but also for my friend, Hannah, who was willing to let me adapt her incredible story (see Appendix B). After I finish Unforgotten, I hope to publish it, either online or in print. It will be a dream come true seeing Unforgotten as a physical comic book. However, current technology is reshaping the way we consume books, so there now exists many good opportunities to publish Unforgotten in an online format.

During the creative writing classes I took, I wrote several short stories, and one of them is entitled Rose. Rose is a story about a female assassin who seeks revenge on the people who are 50

responsible for the massacre of her hometown. While this emotionless assassin goes on a

mission, she meets a family of two: Daisuke and his daughter, Yuki. She slowly discovers a

missing part in her life while spending time with them. Adapting this story for comics will be my next work and I have made several illustrations for Rose. I look forward to continuing my work on this comic once I finish Unforgotten, and I hope to publish these stories one day. Also, I am interested in working in the comics industry with a group of talented writers, editors, and colorists. I have developed my skills as a digital painter over my last several semesters, and working as a comic book cover illustrator would be a good option for me.

Besides continuing to make comics in the future, I find my passion for teaching and inspiring students who also share the same passion for becoming comic artists like me. The comic industry has changed. Comic books are no longer just something that are only read and enjoyed by kids. The demographic has expanded from kids to teens, and teens to adults. I believe there are many people out there wanting to learn how to make comics and become comic artists, just like me when I was a kid. I am thankful to my mentors, Professor Chuck Richards and

Taylor Carlson, who are both extremely passionate about comics. I hope one day I can be like them, sharing my knowledge and inspiring others to create. 51

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APPENDIX A. UNFORGOTTEN

Artist Statement

Unforgotten is a graphic novel that I adapted from a short story written by Hannah

Hoffman. It is about Eli Aviant, a CEO of his dad’s company, and his twin sister, Elena. While

Eli tries to save the company, Elena appears to have other motives. As the flashbacks progress, the secret about the Aviant’s family is slowly unveiled.

During my childhood, I fell in love with Japanese manga like Yu-Gi-Oh! and Naruto. My emotions followed along with the characters in the stories. Reading comic books gave me a moment to immerse myself into a fictional world filled with characters. I have tried to immerse my audience with my graphic novel, Unforgotten.

Comics are a form of storytelling. To immerse a reader, they need to understand it, and communicating with clarity is the key to achieve this goal. By choosing the necessary moments, composing panels thoughtfully, and utilizing images and words seamlessly, Unforgotten tells the story.

Illustrations from Unforgotten

APPENDIX B. HANNAH HOFFMAN’S STORY, PROCESSING THE LOSS

(With the permission of the author, Hannah Hoffman)

After

Eli’s assistant was tapping on his office door, and Eli was fighting the urge to send the

miniature Zen garden perched on the side of his desk flying at the window. Most people knocked

with a particular cadence, but not his assistant. Each rap on the door seemed to fall in between

the natural spaces. It made the noise hard to ignore.

Eventually, Eli rose from his desk chair and strode across the room to the door. Being

CEO of Aviant Technology had its perks, a large expanse of private office space, floor to ceiling

windows, and a six figure salary. It made the guilt that came with selling faulty cell phones to

unknowing consumers disappear. Eli swung open his office door with too much force, sending

his assistant stumbling backwards.

“Apologies, Mr. Aviant,” his assistant said, even though it was Eli’s fault.

“Noted,” Eli paused, grasping for the assistant’s name. The man had been working for

Eli for a little under two months, but Eli hadn’t taken the time to get to know him. He had bigger problems to worry about.

“Davis, sir. John Davis,” the man supplied, breaking the silence between the two of them before it could grow tense. Eli nodded, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. It was the same exchange every morning. One day, his assistant would realize Eli was never going to learn his name. “Can I come in, sir?”

Eli stepped slightly to the side, allowing the assistant to squeeze his way into the room.

The differences between Eli and his assistant were astounding. Eli was CEO of a global technology company. His assistant was an agency hire straight out of some second-rate state 85 school. Eli was well-groomed, his suit specifically tailored, and his manners impeccable. His assistant, on the other hand, wore brown shoes with black pants and had a tendency to come to work with a five o’clock shadow. It was high time the agency sent a replacement.

“Surely you came in here for a reason,” Eli groaned, moving back to his desk and sinking into the chair, leaving the assistant cowering at the door. “Well?” Eli prodded, “Budgets were due yesterday, I have lunch with a potential investor, and a board meeting at three. It better be important.”

“I have your messages from the evening and your coffee.”

“Coffee to me, messages on my desk,” Eli said curtly. He rose to grab the coffee from his assistant, but the man fumbled with the messages, sending them spilling across the floor.

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Aviant. Just give me a moment,” his assistant was stammering, hands shaking as he gathered the papers.

“Just give me the coffee,” Eli snapped. He grabbed the cup from the assistant and strolled over to the window, leaving the man on his knees. Eli took a sip, forcing himself to release the tension in his shoulders. His assistant had gathered up the papers, placing them on

Eli’s desk.

“Can I get you anything else?” the assistant’s shoulders were curled in, and he was starting to slink from the room.

“No, nothing else,” Eli replied, turning away.

“I’m so sorry, sir,” The assistant said, leaving the room. Eli heard the door swing shut behind the man and exhaled. It was going to be a long day.

“Heya baby brother.” A melodic voice rang from the door, making Eli freeze with surprise. 86

“Elena,” Eli recovered from his surprise and turned to face his sister. “You know I hate that.”

“Hate what?” Elena replied, tilting her head in confusion.

“I’m not your ‘baby brother.’ We’re twins for god's sake.”

“Whatever you say,” Elena replied unfazed, “I’ll always be seventeen minutes older.”

Eli was going to fire his assistant. The man should’ve known better than to let Elena into his office. Especially without any warning. Eli watched as Elena strode across the room and threw herself into one of the chairs in front of his desk. Eli found himself resisting the urge to throw his Zen garden across the room for the second time that morning.

Instead, he took the time to look at his sister. Same ratty band t-shirt, fishnets peaking through the holes in her ripped jeans. The two of them were close to identical, same small nose, blue eyes, and jet-black hair. Except Elena’s hair had been poorly dyed, its long red ends sticking out from under a beanie. She stood in stark contrast to his light grey suit, crisp button up, and oxfords. Neither of them had changed much.

“What’s it been, two years?” Eli asked, attempting to make conversation.

“Two years? Cut the bullshit, Eli. You and I both know we haven’t talked since the reading of the will.” Elena had lazily draped herself over the chair, idly swinging her leg.

“It was a lot to handle.” Eli fell back on his practiced response.

“It was a lot to handle? Really, Eli? What’s ‘it’? The car crash that killed our parents or the contents of their will?” Elena shot a glare at him. “You didn’t even go to the funeral.” 87

“I was processing the loss!” Eli bit back. The minute the words were out of his mouth,

Eli regretted them. His volume was too loud and his emotion too clear. Elena picked up on it too, her lips curling into a sneer at the concession.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” Elena stood up, swiping one of the open files from his desk and striding over to the window. She flipped it open and began paging through documents.

“What’re you doing here, Elena?” Eli asked. “Ran out of drug money?”

“Word on the street is you’re losing your edge,” Elena replied, purposefully ignoring his questions.

“Funny, I didn’t think you cared?”

“I care when you’re running Mom and Dad’s company to the ground.” Elena gestured to the documents in her hands. “I didn’t even think it was possible for stock to drop this low?”

“Oh, and you could do better? Consumer ratings on Aviant’s phones have been dropping since before dear old Mom and Dad died. Throw in a new competitor and we’re bound to have trouble.”

“However you justify it, Eli,” Elena said, “But both of us know that the company was doing just fine until you took over. Sometimes all it takes is one bad egg.”

Eli snatched the papers out of her hands, taking the offensive. “Really Elena? Like you could do better? Did you finally get tired of hanging out in the crack den? Going to take a swing at running a business? With what degree? What experience? You know, you actually have to be sober to hold a job? This isn’t Wolf of Wall Street.” 88

Eli gulped down air, the sheer contrast of the silence making him realize he had been

shouting. Elena shook her head, bringing her hands together achingly slow, applauding him.

“Beautiful,” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “You really saw right through

me, figured out my plot.” Her face was twisted in a psychotic grin. “I want to take over the

company.” She rolled her eyes. “You and I both know why I can’t do that.”

“Elena, don’t be like that,” Eli said.

“Are you alright, sir?” The assistant was back in Eli’s office, tentatively surveying the scene.

“What did I say about knocking?” Eli roared, glaring at the man.

“I’m sorry, sir. I thought I heard you yelling,” the assistant replied. Eli rolled his eyes, and Elena started to cackle. The noise made Eli’s skin crawl.

“Oh, Eli was yelling,” Elena taunted, “He’s completely losing it.”

“Get out. Now,” Eli hissed, “Both of you,” he added with a pointed glance at Elena. His assistant looked at him confused, but turned and left the room. Elena shouldered her bag, but instead of leaving, stepped into Eli’s personal space.

She kissed him on the cheek, then whispered in his ear, “You better hope the meeting this afternoon goes in your favor, baby brother.” With a smirk, she turned and stalked from the room, the thud of her combat boots fading as she disappeared down the hall.

Eli closed the door with too much force, making the picture on the wall shake and fall to the ground. His parents smiled out from under the broken pieces of glass, but Eli left it where it was. The assistant could clean it up. 89

Eli collapsed into his chair behind his desk, running his hands through his hair. Of course

Elena resurfaced now. Her specialty was failure. Leave it to her to stand witness to the end of the family company.

The real trouble was that she was right. Aviant Technology was on a decline, had been for the better part of the year. People just weren’t buying Aviant phones any more. Newer companies were putting out a better product, and Aviant couldn’t keep up. Eli had a sneaking suspicion the purpose of the board meeting today wasn’t just to address the declining stock of the company. He was certain they were going to ask him to step down from his position as CEO.

The thought sent another bubble of anger through his system, and this time he couldn’t control it. He snatched up the Zen garden and sent it flying into the window. Sand went everywhere, and the scattered clack of the rocks against the window echoed like gunfire throughout the room. It almost sounded like his assistant's knocking.

Before

Eli was a bit disgusted by the yellowing stains on the old motel’s carpeting. He’d rather be anywhere else, but his parents had been dramatic and called for a reading of their will. Elena needed to be there, and Eli knew she wouldn’t get there on her own. Relapse was a bitch.

He walked to her room, pulling out the key card the smiling receptionist at the front desk had procured for him. Money hadn’t even had to change hands. Sometimes, all it took was a charming personality, sea blue eyes, and dropping the Aviant name. He slipped the key card in the slot. The lock clicked and Eli knocked on the door as he swung it open.

“Elena. They’re reading the will today.” As Eli called out, he flicked on the lights, revealing an even dingier carpet and his sister. She was naked, sprawled out on the bed. 90

“Jesus, Elena. Seriously?” He averted his eyes, grabbing a shirt hanging from a chair in

the room and throwing it at her. “Do you even know how many germs are on those beds? You’re

going to get a disease.”

“Morning, baby brother,” Elena said. Eli could hear the smile in her voice.

“It’s almost eight in the evening,” Eli responded as he examined the top of the side

table. Little piles of ash and an open carton of cigarettes. A handle of whiskey, three quarters of

the way empty. “Taking the loss of dear old Mom and Dad well, I see,” Eli said sarcastically,

turning back to face his sister. A pang of sympathy took him by surprise, Elena was worse than

he thought. She’d always been closer to their parents than Eli.

“Don’t worry about me, Eli,” Elena said, shrugging on a pair of jeans. “Just another

Tuesday night.”

“I heard you were sober for a while this time,” Eli commented.

“Two years,” Elena responded, as she took a swig from the bottle.

“At least you’ll have a good story to tell at the next AA meeting?”

“What makes you think I’m going back.” Elena replied.

“Elena,” Eli started, but couldn’t find the words to continue

“Don’t pretend to care about me, Eli,” Elena bite at him. “Sober or not, you’ve been out of the picture. You don’t get to say jack shit about my choices.”

“Dad was so proud you were working for the company,” Eli tried, but the words felt hollow.

“A little too proud,” Elena mumbled under her breath. “I was only working a low-level

management position.” 91

“What does that mean? They cared about you, Elena. It’s okay to be upset.”

“I don’t know,” Elena responded. “Dad had been saying weird things, talking about the

company and his legacy. He said something to me about taking ov-”

“Don’t worry, Elena,” Eli cut in. “You know Dad, he wasn’t always all the way there.”

“I hope you’re right,” Elena scoffed. “It doesn’t matter now, Mom and Dad are gone.”

She grabbed the bottle again.

Eli felt anger bubble under the surface. It was just like Elena, one thing went wrong and

suddenly nothing was worth it. It was a constant cycle she’d never break.

“Really Elena? Could you be sober for once? For this?”

“I’m processing the loss.” She cut back.

“Whatever.” Eli said. He’d given up trying to save Elena long time ago.

Eli stood to the side as Elena got up from the bed, swaying slightly. She moved to the

mirror and began to smear black eyeliner on her eyes.

“Elena. We can’t show up late to something like this.”

“They won’t start without us, Eli. We’re the stars of the whole fucking show.” She

slung a leather jacket across her shoulders and pushed past Eli out of the motel room.

Eli got in his car, driving the two of them to Aviant’s headquarters in the middle of the city. Elena was already hazing out, riding her buzz. The silence was uncomfortable, and Eli kept fiddling with the radio. By the time the two of them made it to the large conference room at the top of the building, Eli was relieved to put some distance between the two of them. 92

“Here are the Aviant children now,” the executor drawled as they walked in, “I’m so sorry for your loss. Thanks for coming tonight.” All the eyes in the room turned to Eli and Elena.

Eli felt color rise to his checks, he looked to Elena but she was already moving to sit down.

“Thank you,” Eli responded for the both of them. The executor began to read and Eli surveyed the people around the table. A few he recognized from the party his father had thrown for Eli after his graduation. Others he recognized from upper management branches. Eli had started working at Aviant as soon as he graduated, upholding the family name.

Eli half-listened to the executor as he watched Elena doze off. He fought the urge to do the same. Eli already knew what would come of the reading. He and Elena would be named the sole beneficiaries of their parent’s estate. Eli also expected to be named acting CEO. He and

Elena had just as much right to the position, but he knew Elena wasn’t an acceptable choice to lead the company. Sure, his parents had trusted her with a low level position when she’d gotten sober, but they must’ve realized she’d relapse one day. Her ‘high-risk lifestyle’ wasn’t conducive to the responsibilities of the company.

Still, they would probably leave her with a position on the board. After all, Aviant was a family business, regardless of how many times you dragged the family name through the mud.

Eli forced himself to focus on the executor’s words, “To our children, Eli Aviant and

Elena Aviant, we leave the company we established.” Eli sent a quick kick to Elena’s shin under the table and she woke with a start.

“Pay attention,” he mouthed, the executor continuing as if everything was perfectly normal.

“As acting CEO of Aviant Technology, we name our eldest, Elena Aviant.” 93

There was a roaring in his ears and Eli felt as if the floor was rushing towards him. He couldn’t move, couldn’t think. There had to be a mistake. Elena would ruin the company.

Everyone knew that.

“You’ve got to be shitting me,” Elena interrupted, the shock on her face mirroring his own.

“Excuse me,” The executor’s jaw dropped, glancing to some of the older members in the room.

“There’s got to be some kind of mistake.” She swayed to her feet, plucking the document from the executor’s hands. Her eyes scanned the paper, her mouth forming the words as she read. She looked at Eli, “CEO. What the actual fuck?”

Eli rose to his feet, his initial shock leveling. He forced his face into a neutral expression,

“Do you mind if I look?” The calmness of his voice surprised even him, and Elena wordlessly handed the papers over.

Eli read aloud, using his own voice to keep him steady. “Our daughter’s journey with sobriety and her subsequent work in the company give us faith that she will be able to navigate the changing future of Aviant Technology. Her leadership and communication skills will ensure the success of our brand. Both of us see her as the best choice for the job.”

With the words, Elena began laughing, a hysterical cackle that echoed throughout the room.

“Sobriety my ass.” She slammed her chair back and stormed out of the room, flask in hand.

Eli’s vision was going spotty. Neither the executor or his sister had lied. Elena had been named CEO. A stab of betrayal ricocheted through his body. What were his parents thinking? 94

They’d checked Elena into rehab two years ago, but they had to have known she would relapse.

And even if they hadn’t, how did they expect her to run a company? Eli was the responsible one.

He was the one who had gone to school for business management. He’s the one who’d always worked at Aviant. Eli was the right choice. The only choice.

His eyes continued to scan the paper, looking for his name. He found it, at the bottom of the document. Eli Aviant. He’d been named CFO and advisor to his sister. He felt his anger burn red in his eyes, embarrassment tinging the edges. Before he could make a scene, he remembered his place. He was still upper management in the company, and wouldn’t thrown a temper tantrum and lose his birthright over some mistake. Eli was the smart one. The calm one. He’d fix this.

“I apologize, it must be the grief,” he gestured to the door. “She just needs some time. If you’d excuse me, I need to go see to my sister.” Eli didn’t listen for a response. He was already out of the room.

After

“Sir, the board meeting is starting in five minutes.” Eli’s assistant was back. The sound of his voice made Eli see red. He imagined pushing his assistant from the room, blowing off the board meeting and speeding away from the city.

“Thank you,” Eli said instead. He pushed himself up from his desk, gathered his papers and walked out to the hall. As he passed his assistant’s desk he noticed a box on top, full of the chotchkies. The agency must’ve replaced him, finally found Eli a new assistant. Of course it would happen just as Aviant was going to replace him. 95

“Hey, at least they can’t take your share of the profits.” Elena materialized, falling into step with him. “They might even offer you a seat on the board.” Her eyes lit up with the taunt.

“Ha ha,” Eli mocked, glancing over at her. “I see you couldn’t be bothered to change?”

“I’m not the one trying to impress everyone. You better hope that twelve hundred dollar suit convinces them of your value.”

“Right. I get it. I’ll take the fall, and then what? You’ll swoop in and save the company, just like Mom and Dad always wanted?” The venom in Eli’s words surprised him.

“Really Eli? You know I never wanted this. You’re getting us confused. It’s all you wanted. And now it’s your mess. You ruined Mom and Dad’s company. Not me. You.”

Her intensity surprised him, and Eli was grateful they had made it to the front doors of the conference room. He pushed open the doors, throwing his shoulders back as he strode over to the head seat at the table, projecting an air of confidence for what would probably be the last time. Elena filed in behind him, sliding into a spot at the foot, right next to his pesky assistant.

Eli was surprised to see the man, but didn’t mull on it, there were bigger things at stake.

“Thank you for joining us, Eli,” Danielle Hayes greated him.

“It’s my pleasure, Danielle.” Eli coated his smile in sugar, sliding into his chair. She had once been a friend of his father’s. What was the saying? Kill them with kindness.

“I won’t waste any of our time,” Hayes said, “As you all know, Aviant Technology isn’t the successful enterprise it once was. If something doesn’t change soon were going to take huge losses.”

“I completely understand,” Eli replied to the woman civilly. “You know I would support a productive change.” 96

“Productive change?” Elena pipped in, uninvited. “Don’t forget, this is all your fault, baby brother.” Eli felt his stomach drop. She was embarrassing him in front of the entire board.

Of course she’d side against him with the investors. Of course she’d want him to make a fool out of himself.

“We’re glad you support the idea of a change.” Hayes smiled back at Eli, ignoring

Elena completely. “We want you on board with our next procedures.”

“The procedures of firing you,” Elena interrupted again. She was dangerously close to causing a scene.

Eli followed Hayes’ lead and ignored her, “What would the procedures entail?” Eli asked, feigning ignorance of the Board’s plot to excommunicate him.

“We’re looking at adding some new perspective to the team,” Hayes said.

“A new position?” Eli asked.

“In a way, yes,” Hayes replied. “We’re aiming to bring in someone new. Someone who will help propel this company into the next decade. But in order for that to happen, we’re going to make some slight changes to your position.”

“My position?” Eli asked.

“How polite they are,” Elena scoffed from the end of the table. She pushed her chair out a bit and swung her clunky boots onto the table. “The politics of entrepreneurs. You’d never know they were forcing you out.”

“Don’t say that,” Eli hissed at Elena, breaking his cool facade for a moment. The other board members looked at him in confusion, pulling Eli back into the moment. He was being fired. 97

“You want me to step down as CEO?” Surprise came easily to his voice. He had seen

this coming, but a part of him never truly thought they’d take his company away from him.

“No, no, Mr. Aviant,” Hayes’ voice was placating, but her face showed concern,“We

don’t want you to step down, we want you to take an advising role in the company. Your insight

and support has always been invaluable to us.”

“I see,” Eli said slowly, “And there's nothing I can do about this?”

“Of course there isn’t,” Elena jumped in, “You’re out Eli. You just weren’t good

enough. Everything you worked for was pointless.”

“Lay off Elena! The grownups are talking,” Eli spit the words at Elena, losing his cool for a moment. The other board members were looking at him with a mixture of surprise and confusion.

“Oh?” Elena replied. “The only reason ‘the grownups’ are letting you be a part of this conversation is because they need your name to support the company. They need the kid of the

Aviant couple on board. Not Eli Aviant, CEO.”

“Jesus Christ, Elena! Are you high? You can’t just say that sort of thing in front of everyone.”

“Eli” Hayes was looking at Eli affronted. “Calm down. What’s going on?”

“He’s been like this all day,” Eli’s assistant piped in. Eli silenced the man with a glare.

“I’m not high,” Elena retorted, ignoring Hayes. “I’ve been sober since the will reading,

Eli. You know that. I’m sober because of you, remember” 98

“Shut up, Elena,” Eli was done with her. He hadn’t seen her since the will reading. He didn’t help her get sober. It was some sort of plot. She was playing him, in front of the whole board. Why?

“It’s you,” He said to Elena, everything clicking, “Is this who you’re bringing in?” Eli continued, directing his question at Hayes. “Is this the new perspective? My sister?”

“Eli, please,” Hayes voice was colored with fear. “What are you talking about?”

“I’ve been sober for five years,” Elena said to Eli. She swung her feet down and made her way to the front of the room. “I’ve learned from my mistakes. I’m going to be a more capable CEO than you ever were. I know it. Mom and Dad knew it.”

“Bullshit,” Eli said in response to his sister, then turned to Hayes. “My sister was lying if she told you she’s sober,” He took a step closer to Hayes, gesturing wildly. “She doesn’t even have a college degree. She’s conning you. She must need drug money or something.” He spit the words, control gone.

“Eli,” Hayes exclaimed, “You can’t talk about your sister like that.” Her eyes widened, she even went as far as to cross herself. Eli caught sight of one of the other advisors in the room.

He had his phone out, recording the entire interaction. So much for not causing a scene.

“Yeah, why would you say such horrible things about me?” Elena slipped around him, pouting. She settled herself into his chair at the head of the table.

“I can’t believe you believe her,” Eli shouted. So much for kindness. “Talk about professionalism! Bringing my sister and I into the same board meeting, firing me and then replacing me with her?” He slammed his hand across the table, sending paper flying onto the 99

ground. His assistant was slowly backing towards the wall, the other board members following

suit. One woman was laughing nervously, glancing around the room panicked.

“Eli,” Hayes speaking slowly, as if he were a wild animal about to lash out, “Your sister

is dead, Eli. Elena isn’t here.”

“Ha. Funny,” Eli said, his empty laugh echoing through the room, “You guys are sick.

What kind of joke is this? She’s right here.” He grabbed both arms of the chair Elena was sitting

in, and pushed the chair into the wall. It spiraled out, sending Elena smashing into the wall. Her

head connected with the wall, the thud resonating through the room. The noise brought Eli back

into reality. Everyone was watching him fearfully, disregarding his sister. He looked down at

Elena, taking in the blood dripping from a cut above her eye.

“Am I really here, baby brother?”

Before

“Elena! Elena, stop! Hey!” Eli ran from the will reading, following her down the hallway, back into his father’s office.

“I didn't want this, Eli,” Elena said. She stood at the front of the room, the large portraits of their parents hanging behind her, watching the two of them. “I was trying to tell you earlier,

Dad was talking crazy, going on about making me CEO, but I don’t want it, Eli. Believe me I don’t.” Elena was slurring her words.

“Wait, you knew about this?” Eli didn’t think he could be surprised again, but he forgot

Elena was always a wild card.

“I didn’t think he’d changed the will. I told him not to, Eli. You have to believe me.” 100

“I don’t even know what to think,” Eli said. Cold anger took over, giving him the objective control he needed.

“I need some air,” Elena said, pushing past her brother to the veranda doors that lead out to the balcony of his father’s office. Eli glanced over his shoulder, the pictures of his parent’s hanging over him. He spat at it in disgust before turning and following his sister. So much for family.

Elena was slumped over the railing, flask back in her hand. At the sound of his footsteps,

Elena raised her hand, offering Eli the flask. He accepted, downing the dregs.

“What were they planning?” Eli asked.

“Planning?” Elena sat up, looking at Eli with confusion. “They weren’t planning anything. Don’t make this something it’s not.”

“Was it all some big joke? Watch me waste my life studying and working for something

I’d never get?”

“What are you talking about?” Elena straightened up, leveling herself with Eli.

“They were mocking me. And you knew.” Eli’s calmness surprised even him. The only thing that betrayed the waves of anger rolling through his body was the slight shaking of his hands.

“I didn’t know. Not really.” Elena looked at him uneasily.

“But you did, you said it yourself. You tried to warn me. You’re the only one standing between me and what I want.” 101

“Eli, listen to yourself. You sound ridiculous.” Elena tried to leave, her eyes darting to

the door. “I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.” Before she could go, Eli grabbed her arm,

digging his fingers in, “Eli! Stop! That hurts!” Elena was pulling away, clawing at his arm.

“They never cared about me. They weren’t going to give me anything. Everything I’ve

worked for was a lie.” His hands tightened around her arm.

“Eli stop.” His sister was crying, trying to yank her arm from his grasp.

“And you helped them.” The words rushed over him with such finality, Eli knew they were the truth. “You took this all away from me.”

An eerie calm spread over his body. Eli felt as though he was watching from the side.

Elena had stole his birthright, his legacy. She wouldn’t get away with this. He slammed his sister up against the railing.

“Eli, please stop. You’re scaring me.” Elena was sobbing now. It was all for show. A show Eli wasn’t buying anymore.

“Don’t worry, Elena. You don’t have to be scared.” He taunted as he brought his hands around her neck, tightening them. He was only going to scare her. Show her he was worthy of being the head of Aviant. The pride of their parents. She really started to fight, clawing at his eyes, kicking him. Eli felt a sense of satisfaction at her fear. He had control. Finally.

“We’re all going to get what we deserve, big sister.” She was struggling for breath, blue eyes pleading with him.

“Eli. Please,” Elena gasped. He didn’t hear her. It didn’t matter. He watched as her face turned white. She stopped kicking at him and brought her hands to his, clawing at them. Trying to pry them off. 102

“You get what you’ve been flirting with for years,” Eli said. “No one will question your

absence. People will believe you committed suicide. The grief combined with new responsibility

was too much. I’ll tell them I tried to stop you, but I was too late.”

“Eli,” The words rasped from the back of Elena’s throat. Her face was purple, and Eli

could feel the strength behind her attacks fading.

“And I’ll get what I earned,” Eli hissed as his sister’s body went limp, “I won’t let you

take anything else away from me. This is my company.”

After

“You’re here. Elena’s here,” Eli stumbled across his words, taking in his sisters form in the chair, the fearful eyes of the board members, “You’re not dead. I can see you.”

He directed the words at his sister, but even as he watched Elena’s face, he

remembered how her limp body felt in his arms. He’d fought so hard to regain control, to release

her.

“She’s not here, Eli,” Hayes said, “Elena’s dead. She committed suicide before

your parent’s funeral.” Eli felt his anger rise again. How dare Hayes look at him as if he was the

one causing the scene, as if Elena was blameless in the situation. Hayes had the audacity to look

scared. “Mr. Davis, if you’d see everyone out,”

“Of course,” Davis said, already ushering other board members from the room. They

were whispering to each other, fear in their eyes.

“Look how scared they are,” Elena said, standing, “Scared of you. Crazy Eli Aviant. I

died before the funeral. Don’t you remember? It was your fault.” 103

“No, no, no,” Eli was muttering to himself, clawing his hands through his hair, “I

wouldn’t do that to you, Elena. I loved you. I wanted to protect you.”

“Protect me?” Elena was talking at him. Her eyes flashed, and suddenly Eli

remembered. Tying the knots, hanging the rope from the rafters, covering his tracks. “You killed me, Eli.”

“No,” Eli didn’t know what to say. If she was dead, she couldn’t be standing in front of him. It didn’t make sense, but memories were rushing to the surface. Cornering his sister after the will reading, the rush of anger that brought his hands around her neck. It couldn’t be true. He wouldn’t have done it. He and Elena weren’t close, but he loved her. He wouldn’t kill her.

Hayes’ voice echoed from the back of the board room, but the words didn’t register.

Elena was laughing, her face contorting into a twisted smile. When she kicked back her head, he could see bruises on her neck.

The nauseous feeling in his stomach grew. He could feel her neck in his hands.

The way his fingers had crushed into it. The lies he told to cover everything up. He’d regained his control to late. The realization crashed over him. He killed her.

“Was is worth it? Was Aviant worth it?” Elena was accusatory, every trace of laughter gone from her voice.

“Elena, I’m sorry. You have to believe me, I didn’t mean to.” Eli was pleading, hand on her forearm.

“To what? Kill me? If you didn’t mean to, then what are you apologizing for?” The twinkle was back in Elena’s eye. This time it wasn’t playful. It was malicious. 104

“I didn’t mean to. I swear I didn’t mean to.” Tears were streaming down his face, snot mixing with the salt. It was all too much. “I already lost you, Don’t take this company away from me too.”

“I didn’t mean to! I didn’t mean to!” Elena said, mocking him, “What didn’t you mean?

You didn’t mean to follow me out of that meeting?” Elena pressed, advancing towards Eli, a murderous look in her eyes, “You didn’t mean to ignore me when I tried to explain that I didn’t want the company? Or you didn’t mean to strangle me? Stage my body to make it look like suicide? Tell me, Eli, if you didn’t mean that, what did you mean?” Her voice was cruel, bringing the sting of reality.

Eli kept backing away from her, startled when he slammed into the wall behind him. She was bringing it all back. The fear, the panic. The realization of what he did, of what he’d kept hidden for the past five years.

“I didn’t want to, but no one could know,” Eli tried to defend himself, “I had to keep running the company. I had to prove to Mom and Dad that I could do it.”

Eli sounded pathetic, even to himself. His heart was racing and Elena was up in his face.

Her hands wrapped around his neck, and Eli fought back a wave of fear. She wasn’t there. She was a delusion. She couldn’t hurt him. But if she was an illusion, why could he feel her hands tightening around his neck.

“What did you prove?” she asked, tilting her head to the side, “That you could run the company to the ground? Just like Mom and Dad thought? The only thing you proved was that I would’ve been a better choice.” Her hands grasped his neck tighter, and Eli gasped for breath.

There were black spots on the edge of his vision. It wasn’t possible. 105

“You’re a delusion! You can’t do this!” His voice was ragged, the pressure on his vocal

chords unbearable. “You’re dead! I killed you!”

“Exactly, baby brother,” Elena smiled, “You killed me. You lost control for one moment and it cost you everything: our parents, the company, me.” Elena didn’t relinquish her grasp. The darkness spread as her fingers constricted around his throat, hatred in his sister’s eyes.

“At least now everyone will see you for who you really are, a fraud.”

“I’m going to have to ask you to come with me,” A large security officer had his hand

firmly grasped on Eli’s arm. Elena let go of Eli’s throat, a devilish grin on her face.

“It’s fine, sir.” Eli said, trying to regain any decorum he had. Elena wasn’t going to ruin

his life again. “I can see myself out.”

“Why don’t I come with you,” the security guard said, forcibly guiding him from the

room.

“Bye bye, baby brother,” Elena laughed, skipping behind the two of them as Eli was

escorted from the building. They passed Eli’s office, and he caught sight of his assistant through

the window, unloading his box of supplies onto Eli’s own desk.

“Look who's the new CEO!” Elena exclaimed. “Who would’ve expected, Aviant

Technology no longer in the hands of the Aviant family. Instead, it passes to the assistant.” Eli

clenched his fists, trying to reign in his anger. “What was his name again, Eli?” Elena laughed,

the sound following the twins out of the building and into the street.