Freely Adapted from the Classic Stage Comedy by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and William Gillette

Freely adapted from the classic stage comedy by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and William Gillette

By Tim Kelly

Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that a royalty must be paid for every performance, whether or not admission is charged. All inquiries regarding rights— including but not limited to amateur, professional, radio broadcast, television, cable, motion picture, live streaming, public reading, and translation into a foreign language—should be addressed to Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., PO Box 4267, Englewood, CO 80155. No performance, broadcast, reading, or presentation of any kind in whole or in part may be given without permission from Pioneer Drama Service. These rights are fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America and of all countries covered by the Universal Copyright Convention or with which the United States has reciprocal copyright relations, including Canada, Mexico, Australia, and all nations of the United Kingdom.

ONE SCRIPT PER CAST MEMBER MUST BE PURCHASED FOR PRODUCTION RIGHTS. PHOTOCOPYING, REPRODUCING, OR DISTRIBUTING ALL OR ANY PART OF THIS BOOK WITHOUT PERMISSION IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN BY LAW.

On all programs, printing, and advertising, the following information must appear: 1. The full title: Sherlock Holmes 2. Writing credit: By Tim Kelly 3. Publication notice: “Produced by special arrangement with Pioneer Drama Service, Denver, Colorado” SHERLOCK HOLMES

By TIM KELLY CAST OF CHARACTERS # of lines NEWSBOY ONE ...... a hard-working lad 16 NEWSBOY TWO ...... another 13 FORMAN ...... an unusual butler 20 MADGE LARRABEE ...... up to no good 74 JAMES LARRABEE ...... can’t be trusted 86 TERESA ...... a maid who keeps her ears open 26 SID PRINCE ...... a natty safecracker 62 SHERLOCK HOLMES ...... ’nuff said 220 ALICE FAULKNER ...... a damsel in distress 82 MRS. BASSICK ...... gives women’s rights a bad name 46 GINGER ...... the less said the better 26 PEPPER ...... no friend to law and order 21 FLOWER WOMAN ...... a not-so-pretty thief 16 ELEGANT LADY ...... the rich must pay 2 GENTLEMAN ...... no friend of suffragettes 5 DETECTIVE ...... curse of the criminal class 6 (can also play Inspector Lestrade) PROFESSOR MORIARTY ...... the Napoleon of Crime. Beware! 88 JOAN ...... Moriarty’s secretary, no scruples 16 MATCHGIRL ...... she’ll burn London down 5 DR. WATSON ...... Holmes’ colleague, good sort 97 MRS. HUDSON ...... steak-and-kidney pie is her 21 specialty LADY EDWINA ...... snobbery in Baker Street 25 PRINCE CARL ...... needs help 17 LESTRADE ...... a police bade in Watson’s side 9 GERTIE ...... a real gasser 12 SINGER ...... London’s own n/a MAGGIE BASKERVILLE ...... Sherlock her last hope 10 CABBIE ...... 4 LONDONERS ...... no place like Holmes (can be added if desired)

ii 51 RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT For Preview Only SET DESIGN - ACT TWO/SCENE TWO SYNOPSIS Place: London Time: 1890s ACT ONE Scene One: Drawing room at the Larrabees. Evening. Scene Two: Professor Moriarty’s underground office. Day. Scene Three: Sherlock Holmes’ flat, 221 B Baker Street. Evening. ACT TWO Scene One: An abandoned warehouse. Midnight. Scene Two: Sherlock Holmes’ flat. Morning. ABOUT YOUR PROGRAM Audiences enjoy reading an interesting program, so keep the description of the character: NEWSBOY ONE ...... a hard-working lad NEWSBOY TWO ...... another FORMAN ...... an unusual butler MADGE LARRABEE ...... up to no good Etc. Extend it to a brief description of each scene. For example:

ACT ONE Scene One: Drawing Room At The Larrabees Villains aplenty! Sweet Alice in danger. Enter the clever safecracker. Where there’s smoke, there’s Sherlock Holmes. On to the Napoleon of Crime! Scene Two: Professor Moriarty’s Underground Office Disposing of the unwanted! The evil Mrs. Bassick. More flapjaw about secret letters. The plot boils over. The super sleuth bows to that crafty professor… or meets his doom! Scene Three: Sherlock Holmes’ Flat Good old Watson. Royalty visits. Alice in doubt. Danger on the wind. Lestrade gets the message. Holmes in peril Moriarty’s challenge. To the death!

50 iii RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT For Preview Only ACT TWO SET DESIGN - ACT TWO/SCENE ONE Scene One: An Abandoned Warehouse Larrabee on edge. Alice plots a dangerous game. Gashouse Gertie on the job. The flatfoot overplays his hand. The bomb ticks. Tibetan Meditation saves the day. Scene Two: Sherlock Holmes’ Flat Fake patient for Dr. Watson. A damsel in distress hounded by a doggie. The end of Moriarty. Holmes in disgrace. Love conquers all. Holmes on the scent. Grand curtain call finale. Add some amusing notes to the program. Some examples:

All fresh scenery. Ladies will kindly remove their hats during the performance. Owing to the great length of the play, there will be no farce! Children in arms not admitted. Management not responsible for any uncouth ticket-holder sitting next to you. It will be necessary to close the curtain between act one and act two. Feel free to appreciate our tasteful costuming. Please do not spit out your chewing gum. Swallow it. Applause at suitable moments encouraged.

iv 49 For Preview Only SET DESIGN - ACT ONE SHERLOCK HOLMES

ACT ONE Scene One

1 SETTING: The simple setting depicts three areas in the city of London, simultaneously, viz., the Larrabee Drawing Room, Sherlock Holmes. Apartment, and the hideout of the villainous Professor Moriarty. The Larrabee Drawing Room is STAGE RIGHT, consisting of a chair with 5 pillow, and side table facing out to the audience. There’s a small table covered with a floor-length cloth DOWN RIGHT. ENTRANCE into other parts of the house is DOWN RIGHT, behind the cloth-covered table. UP RIGHT EXIT supposedly leads into a hallway with the front door beyond. STAGE LEFT is the underground office of Professor Moriarty, 10 represented by a table and chair, with a blackboard to the RIGHT. DOWN LEFT is a bench. The main portion of the stage is occupied by Sherlock Holmes’ apartment. RIGHT there is a desk and chair, with a client’s chair in front of the desk. LEFT there is a table covered with scientific-looking 15 odds and ends: test tubes, bottles, books, etc. There is an ottoman or small chair below this table, somewhat to the CENTER of the room. UP CENTER is a fireplace. ENTRANCE from outside is UP RIGHT, EXIT into other parts of the apartment UP LEFT. The stage space between the Larrabee’s drawing room and the 20 apartment of Holmes becomes a London alley (ALLEY A), while the stage space between Holmes’ apartment and the office of Moriarty becomes ALLEY B. The FORESTAGE, or apron, becomes a London street, as does the UPSTAGE area running behind the three settings. 25 (NOTE: For added suggestions on staging and stage chart, see PRODUCTION NOTES.) The curtain is open when the audience enters, the stage is dimly lighted. AT RISE: The stage darkens. LIGHTS come UP on the FORESTAGE as NEWSBOY ONE ENTERS the street RIGHT, holding up a newspaper 30 for sale. NEWSBOY ONE: Get your paper here! Read all about it! Another murder in Whitechapel! Police suspect Jack the Ripper! NEWSBOY TWO: (ENTERS LEFT, holds up paper, yells into audience.) Another member of the criminal element found floating in the 35 Thames! Police suspect gang war! Read all about it!

48 1 For Preview Only 1 NEWSBOY ONE: London plagued by robberies, kidnapping and tainted Packet of letters (LARRABEE) kippers! Read all about it! Rope and gag, weapon of some sort (MRS. BASSICK) NEWSBOY TWO: Police suspect evil genius at work! Valuable jewels Wallet with paper money, handcuffs, fake letters (HOLMES) stolen from Tower of London! Pistol (SID) 5 NEWSBOY ONE: Royal wedding for Prince of Bohemia! Read all about it! Read all about it! Buggy whip (CABBIE/MORIARTY) FORMAN: (Butler for the LARRABEES, ENTERS drawing room from UP Handbag with real letters (ALICE) RIGHT, walks to the edge of the room by ALLEY A, pantomimes the COSTUMES opening of a window. Calls to NEWSBOY ONE.) Here, lad, let’s have Except for costumes clearly indicated in the text for plot purposes, 10 a paper over here. the costuming follows standard melodrama requirements. The period, NEWSBOY ONE: Yes, sir. Right away, Governor. (Moves to the to be precise, is the 1890s, but all that’s vital is that the female “window.” FORMAN takes a coin from his pocket, hands it over, roles have long dresses or skirts, hats, etc. Nice touch is achieved if gets paper. NEWSBOY TWO goes up ALLEY B.) PRINCE CARL can have some sort of uniform jacket with a few medals. NEWSBOY TWO: Evening news! Evening news! Who stole the 15 jewels from the Tower of London? Read all about the baffling SOUND EFFECTS mystery! (EXITS.) Bolting, chaining, locking and unlocking of MORIARTY’S door, violin NEWSBOY ONE: (EXITS up ALLEY A.) London gripped by outbreak of music (Practical from OFFSTAGE), telephone ring, tick-tick-tick of crime and violence! Read all about it! (VOICE trailing off.) Another timebomb (Optional), explosion. murder in Whitechapel… London plagued by robberies… Royal ABOUT THE PRODUCTION 20 wedding for Prince of Bohemia! (FORMAN stands at the “window” reading the front page. MADGE LARRABEE ENTERS DOWN RIGHT.) Keep it moving. There should be no “dead spots.” One scene flows MADGE: Forman, what are you doing at the window? into another. In ACT ONE, director may wish to light only that section of FORMAN: The paper ma’am. the stage wherein a scene is being played (LARRABEE’S, MORIARTY’S, HOLMES’), keeping the unused portion of the stage in shadows. MADGE: You may read the paper below stairs when I’m done with it, 25 not before. In ACT TWO, the warehouse is played full-stage, as is HOLMES’ FORMAN: (Steps behind chair.) Oh, but there’s something here that apartment. LARRABEE’S DRAWING ROOM and MORIARTY’S OFFICE will interest you. are struck at intermission. MADGE: Let me see that. (Takes paper from him, scans front page.) A great effect can be had by cutting a groundrow of London out of “Murder in Whitechapel… gang war… jewels stolen from the plywood or heavy cardboard, placing it at the back of the stage and 30 Tower of London?” lighting it from behind, thus giving the audience what looks like a view FORMAN: The article about the Royal wedding. Second column. of the London skyline in the distance. MADGE: (Reads.) “Royal Wedding for Prince of Bohemia.” (Angrily.) Extras can be used as Londoners, street vendors, etc. Undoubtedly, you’ve heard my husband and I discuss certain private matters in regard to the prince. 35 FORMAN: I know my place. MADGE: Do you? You’d better give up any idea of blackmail, otherwise I shall inform Scotland Yard that I have a wanted forger in my employ. FORMAN: Please, Mrs. Larrabee, I told you that in the strictest 40 of confidence.

2 47 RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT For Preview Only PRODUCTION NOTES 1 MADGE: It was because of your criminal past that I hired you. I needed someone who could keep his mouth shut. STAGE PROPERTIES, ACT ONE FORMAN: Blackmail? Nothing was further from my mind. LARRABEE DRAWING ROOM: Chair with pillow containing packet of MADGE: I trust so. For your sake. letters, side table, small table with floor-length cloth, small safe 5 FORMAN: The parlor maid wishes to give notice. under table. MADGE: (Surprised.) I pay her well. MORIARTY’S OFFICE: Table, chair, telephone device, blackboard with FORMAN: Certain “things” in the house distress poor Teresa piece of chalk, small bench. MADGE: I’ll speak to the girl. HOLMES’ FLAT: Desk, chair, writing material, client’s chair, test tubes, books, scientific apparatus on table, ottoman or small FORMAN: Yes, ma’am. (EXITS DOWN RIGHT.) chair, fireplace. 10 MADGE: (Reads “wedding” article quickly, almost desperately.) “His Royal Highness Prince Carl van Stalburg of Bohemia Will wed Her HAND PROPS, ACT ONE Royal Highness Princess Alexandria Romanov of Russia…” (She’s Newspapers (NEWSBOY ONE, TWO) interrupted by ENTRANCE of her husband UP RIGHT.) Coin, small tray and card (FORMAN) LARRABEE: I found Sid. He’ll be along in a moment. Satchel with small hammer (SID) 15 MADGE: Read this. (Holds out paper, sits. He moves down, takes paper.) Second column. Magnifying glass , violin, notepad, pencil (HOLMES) LARRABEE: (Checks article.) Hmmmmm. So he’s going to marry a Pipe (LARRABEE) Romanov, is he? Drum (PEPPER) MADGE: That’s good for us. The better the title, the higher the stakes. Wooden crate or box (GINGER) 20 LARRABEE: Not unless we get those letters. Flowers (FLOWER WOMAN) MADGE: We’ll get them. Never you worry. (TERESA, a young maid, Wallet with paper money (GENTLEMAN) ENTERS DOWN RIGHT. LARRABEE moves UPSTAGE.) Necklace (ELEGANT LADY) TERESA: Forman said you wanted to see me, Mrs. Larrabee. Badge and whistle (DETECTIVE) MADGE: What’s this nonsense about you wanting to give notice? Pad, pencil (JOAN) 25 TERESA: (Hesitates.) I don’t l like the way you treat your friend. Pocketbook containing jewelry, wallets (MRS. BASSICK) MADGE: (Smiles warmly.) You misunderstand, Teresa. She’s ill. Not right in the head. Eyeglass, revolver (MORIARTY) LARRABEE: (Still reading the article.) If we’re harsh with her, it’s only Medical bag, pen, pad (WATSON) because we’re thinking of her own good. Matches (MATCHGIRL) 30 TERESA: You mean she’s… demented? STAGE PROPERTIES, ACT TWO MADGE: Quite. WAREHOUSE: Crates, barrels, boxes, some rope, table, safety lantern, TERESA: That does make a difference. two chairs. MADGE: Run along now and let’s hear no more talk of your giving notice. HOLMES’ FLAT: Add crate or heavy chest. TERESA: Yes, ma’am. (Curtsies, EXITS DOWN RIGHT.) 35 LARRABEE: She’s a silly thing. Might be wise to let her go. HAND PROPS, ACT TWO MADGE: Never. We have to keep up appearances. Playing cards (GINGER) SID: (From OFF, UP RIGHT.) Sid Prince here! Shopping bag with bomb device (GERTIE) LARRABEE: (Turns.) In the drawing room, Sid. Whistle (MORIARTY)

46 3 RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT For Preview Only 1 SID: (A disreputable type, ENTERS UP RIGHT. He carries a satchel.) I let 1 ALICE: You knew the letters you purchased from Larrabee were counterfeit. meself in. The door was locked and I couldn’t resist the temptation HOLMES: Yes. to pick it. What’s the game? ALICE: When you told me of this important business meeting you MADGE: (Points to cloth-covered table DOWN RIGHT.) There. (SID knew I would come here. 5 comes to RIGHT of the table, drops to one knee and lifts back the 5 HOLMES: I hoped you would. cloth to reveal a safe. LARRABEE moves LEFT of chair.) There’s a ALICE: You knew I could never allow you to be disgraced. Miss Alice Faulkner staying with us. HOLMES: I am an excellent trickster, Miss Faulkner. Before you say LARRABEE: A guest you might say. another thing, I detect a hint of romance in your voice. MADGE: We met her a few weeks ago. She was despondent. We gained ALICE: Your powers of observation are remarkable. 10 her friendship. Seems her sister, poor thing, drowned herself. 10 HOLMES: If ever I had time for romance, if ever my heart could reach SID: Tsk, tsk. out to another… LARRABEE: She loved a man who could never marry a commoner. ALICE: (Steps toward him.) Don’t stop. SID: A titled gentleman, eh? HOLMES: (Steps toward her.) Alice… MADGE: A prince. ALICE: Sherlock… 15 SID: (Grins.) Like me. 15 HOLMES: Alice… (They’re about to melt into each other’s arms when… MADGE: Nothing like you. saved by the bell… MAGGIE hurries IN from UP RIGHT.) LARRABEE: He wrote letters to the unfortunate girl. Letters that could MAGGIE: Oh, Mr. Holmes, do forgive me. (ALICE and HOLMES move apart.) cause considerable embarrassment if they fell into the wrong hands. HOLMES: You are? SID: (Crafty.) He wants the letters back, eh? MAGGIE: Maggie Baskerville. My brother is Sir Henry Baskerville. 20 LARRABEE: We’re dealing with an insurance company now. They’re 20 HOLMES: Niece and nephew of the murdered Sir Charles Baskerville? acting as go-between for the prince. MAGGIE: Yes. SID: And them letters is in here, right? HOLMES: I know the case. MADGE: When Alice first came here, she trusted us. When she began to have doubts, she ordered the lock changed on our MAGGIE: Only this morning my brother received a letter warning that 25 safe… When we found out, we couldn’t frighten or starve her he will die at the fangs of a gigantic ghost hound. into opening the thing. 25 ALICE: Not more letters?! SID: (Wiggles his fingers.) Sid Prince and his magic fingers. I will have HOLMES: Downstairs, Miss Baskerville. I’ll follow. There’s not a it open in a jiffy. (Opens satchel, takes out small hammer, taps moment to lose. about the dial, grins.) I could do it blindfolded. MAGGIE: Oh, thank you. Thank you! (Runs OFF UP RIGHT.) 30 MADGE: (Impatient.) Never mind congratulating yourself, just HOLMES: Goodbye, Alice. Think of me as one of the stately homes do the job. (Stands. SID fools with the combination, building 30 of England. Fascinating to visit, impossible to live with. (Hurries suspense, then…) OFF UP RIGHT, calling.) Watson! Come along, Watson, the SID: Voila! (Flings open the safe door.) game’s afoot! MADGE/LARRABEE: Empty! ALICE: (Blows a kiss after him.) I shall never forget you… Sherlock Holmes. 35 SID: Empty? (Looks into safe.) Bless me! Not even a speck of dust. CURTAIN She’s fooled you again. END OF PLAY MADGE: She’ll pay for it. (To LARRABEE.) Get her! LARRABEE: I’ll twist the truth out of her. (EXITS DOWN RIGHT.) SID: (Stands.) Look here, Madge. I don’t go for no rough stuff. 40 MADGE: You think I’ve come this close to a fortune to let it slip away?

4 45 For Preview Only 1 HOLMES: Moriarty’s won. I’m ruined. (Moves to table, dejected, turns 1 SID: Sounds to me like the girl’s too clever for you. his back.) MADGE: She’ll talk. LADY EDWINA: Surely this doesn’t mean you may not recover the FORMAN: (ENTERS DOWN RIGHT with a small silver tray.) Beg pardon, real letters? Mrs. Larrabee. 5 HOLMES: I’m afraid it does. 5 MADGE: Yes? LADY EDWINA: (Disgusted.) The Prince put such trust in you. FORMAN: I encountered a gentleman in the garden. He’s gone around PRINCE CARL: The insurance people told me I could count on you. to the front. (HOLMES lowers his head in shame.) MADGE: What gentleman? LADY EDWINA: Do you have any idea what this will do to international FORMAN: (Steps to MADGE.) His card. 10 affairs? (HOLMES nods, weary.) 10 MADGE: (Takes card, reads.) don’t know the gentleman. PRINCE CARL: This will be a slap in the face of your reputation. SID: Who’s the bloke? HOLMES: (Nods.) I am ruined… ruined… MADGE: (Looks again.) “Sherlock Holmes.” ALICE: (Slowly, she stands, takes packet of real letters from her SID: (Startled.) I’m getting out of here. handbag.) You are not ruined. MADGE: What’s the matter? 15 HOLMES: (Turns, sees ALICE holding out letters for him. HOLMES 15 SID: Don’t you know who he is? crosses, takes them, stares longingly at ALICE.) Your Highness, I notified you by messenger that the letters would be in your hands MADGE: Probably a representative from the insurance company. within this hour. (Steps to PRINCE CARL, hands him real packet. SID: He’s a private investigator! I don’t want to see him. He put me Quickly, PRINCE CARL opens packet, scans some of the contents.) behind bars two years ago. He’s a devil, that Holmes. (Sound of 20 WATSON: Well, well? someone knocking on door, UP RIGHT.) It’s him! LADY EDWINA: (Tense.) Carl, are they genuine? 20 MADGE: Keep calm. We don’t have anything to worry about. (Scream from ALICE, OFFSTAGE.) PRINCE CARL: (Relieved.) Yes, quite genuine. Your reputation is secure, Mr. Holmes. SID: I’ll hide. (Hurries OFF DOWN RIGHT.) LADY EDWINA: But what of those other letters? The forgeries? FORMAN: Shall I admit the gentleman? 25 WATSON: Holmes’ methods are unorthodox. MADGE: Of course. Find out what he wants. (More knocking.) I’ll be 25 upstairs. (EXITS DOWN RIGHT. FORMAN goes to answer the door, LADY EDWINA: (Confused.) If you say so, Dr. Watson. But I really steps OFF UP RIGHT.) don’t understand. FORMAN: (From OFF RIGHT.) Please come in to the drawing room, sir. PRINCE CARL: What matters is that we have the real letters. HOLMES: (From OFF.) Thank you. (A moment passes, FORMAN RETURNS.) LADY EDWINA: True. FORMAN: Won’t you sit down, sir. 30 WATSON: I’m sure you’ll appreciate the strain Mr. Holmes has been under. 30 HOLMES: (Follows FORMAN into the room—an angular young man, super intelligent, clever, shrewd.) Thank you. (Gives the room a fast LADY EDWINA: Naturally. (To HOLMES.) I shall inform the insurance check, sits.) firm our complete satisfaction. FORMAN: Whom did you wish to see, sir? HOLMES: You’re too kind. HOLMES: Take my card to Miss Alice Faulkner, please. 35 PRINCE CARL: (Clicks his heels.) You have been invaluable. (HOLMES nods. PRINCE CARL clicks his heels to ALICE.) 35 FORMAN: (Moves behind safe.) Miss Faulkner doesn’t see anyone. She’s not welI. In very poor health. WATSON: I’ll show you out. (Motions UP RIGHT, LADY EDWINA EXITS first, followed by PRINCE CARL and WATSON. ALICE and HOLMES HOLMES: I prefer to hear that from Miss Faulkner. stare at each other.) FORMAN: As you wish, Mr. Holmes. (Starts to EXIT, observes the open safe, carefully covers it with the tablecloth. HOLMES pretends not

44 5 For Preview Only 1 to notice. FORMAN EXITS. Fast, HOLMES zooms from the chair, 1 HOLMES: May she always do so. (To LESTRADE.) Have you apprehended tosses back the cloth, plucks a magnifying glass from some pocket, Madge Larrabee? examines the dial.) LESTRADE: Yes… and her husband, too. HOLMES: Hmmmmm. Fresh fingerprints, not more than a few moments HOLMES: Splendid. (To MORIARTY.) I shall not only have the pleasure 5 cold. Particles of coal dust clinging to the dial. 5 of testifying against your men, but against you as well. Take him TERESA: (ENTERS DOWN RIGHT.) Good heavens! Who are you? away, Lestrade. HOLMES: (Stands.) No need for alarm. My name is Holmes. MORIARTY: (Allows himself to be escorted by LESTRADE and FORMAN. Sherlock Holmes. Before he EXITS, he turns back.) I curse you. TERESA: (Impressed.) Not the Sherlock Holmes, the famous HOLMES: I, Professor, return the “compliment”. (MORIARTY growls. 10 young detective? 10 As the trio EXITS UP RIGHT, LADY EDWINA and PRINCE CARL can be HOLMES: Actually, I’m a consulting detective. I assist the police with seen ENTERING. They pause, look after the police and MORIARTY.) their more difficult cases. (Points to safe.) Who’s been at this safe? ALICE: What will they do to him? TERESA: How should I know, Mr. Holmes? HOLMES: The gallows, I trust. (LADY EDWINA and PRINCE CARL HOLMES: There’s only one man in London who rooms in a hotel favored ENTER.) You received my message. Excellent. 15 by coalmen who is also a master at safecracking. Sid Prince! 15 PRINCE CARL: Who were those men? TERESA: Sid Prince? Never heard of him. HOLMES: Two were reasonably respectable citizens. The evil-looking HOLMES: Nevertheless, I suspect he’s somewhere about. Please one is a minor criminal. fetch him. WATSON: Minor? It was Professor Moriarty himself. TERESA: (Utterly bewildered by the deduction of the detective. Curtsies.) LADY EDWINA: We have more serious matters to discuss. 20 I’ll try, sir. 20 WATSON: (Mumbles.) More serious than Moriarty? HOLMES: Try the front. He’s probably watching the house. HOLMES: Please sit down, Lady Edwina. TERESA: Yes, sir. (EXITS UP RIGHT. HOLMES covers the safe. Sound of LADY EDWINA: I prefer to stand. coughing from OFF. HOLMES listens, moves toward chair. MADGE PRINCE CARL: (Moves to ottoman.) Could we get on with it? (Sits.) ENTERS DOWN RIGHT, impersonating Alice.) HOLMES: At once. (ALICE sits in client’s chair.) 25 MADGE: (Stands by safe, coughs.) Mr. Holmes? 25 LADY EDWINA: Do you or do you not have the letters? HOLMES: You are Miss Alice Faulkner? HOLMES: I have them. At a cost of one thousand pounds. (Takes MADGE: I’m in poor health, Mr. Holmes. packet from some pocket, hands them to PRINCE CARL. LADY HOLMES: You are Miss Faulkner? EDWINA steps to the ottoman.) MADGE: I’m in poor health, Mr. Holmes. Please be brief. PRINCE CARL: (Tears open packet, reads one or two of the letters, 30 HOLMES: Miss Faulkner, you have been dealing with a reputable 30 stands, enraged.) What are you up to, Mr. Holmes? insurance firm regarding “certain” letters. LADY EDWINA: What’s wrong, Carl? MADGE: That is my business, Mr. Holmes. (Coughs again.) PRINCE CARL: These are not the letters. HOLMES: Incorrect. It is my business. The insurance firm has engaged LADY EDWINA: What! my services. PRINCE CARL: They’re forgeries. Cleverly done, but forgeries nevertheless. 35 MADGE: You wish me to set a price? (Coughs again.) 35 LADY EDWINA: Are you certain? HOLMES: I wish to speak with Miss Alice Faulkner. PRINCE CARL: Mr. Holmes, in spite of your supposed cleverness, MADGE: And so you are. they have tricked you! HOLMES: (Points.) Do not try my patience, Madge Larrabee. (She LADY EDWINA: (To HOLMES.) You have disappointed Queen Victoria. reacts.) I know you and your husband are keeping Miss Faulkner a

6 43 RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT For Preview Only 1 HOLMES: Ah, there you are, my good man. I wish to go to 106 Harley 1 prisoner in this house, and unless you produce her at once, I shall Lane and then to Victoria Station. (Puts on jacket.) You’ll have inform the police. I happen to know the authorities in France are trouble with that chest. It’s heavy. most anxious to learn of your whereabouts. CABBIE: (Moves to chest, grunts.) I can manage. (Tries to lift it, realizes MADGE: (Frowns, steps DOWN RIGHT, calls OFF.) James! James, 5 it’s too heavy.) 5 bring her in here. Hurry! (Faces HOLMES.) You’re a clever man, WATSON: Now, my dear, about these dizzy spells. Sherlock Holmes. ALICE: They give me no relief. HOLMES: Clever? I am not clever, Madge. I am brilliant, and the WATSON: When did you first notice this condition? sooner the criminal class realizes this, the sooner London will sleep in peace. (LARRABEE ENTERS with a struggling ALICE. She’s ALICE: A fortnight ago. (As ALICE and WATSON talk they steal side 10 lovely, young, but fiery underneath it all.) 10 glances at the CABBIE. CABBIE gets down on his knees, tries to turn the chest on its side.) ALICE: Let me go, you beast! HOLMES: Can I give you a hand? MADGE: (Indicates the chair.) Over there with her. CABBIE: Might help. LARRABEE: (Shoves ALICE into chair. Sees HOLMES.) Who’s he? HOLMES: (Crosses to chest, back to audience, kneels down.) Perhaps MADGE: Sherlock Holmes. A detective. He’s working for the insurance 15 people. (LARRABEE slips a hand into a pocket, moves toward MADGE.) 15 I ought to unload some of the contents. I don’t want anything to break in transit. HOLMES: (Moves to LEFT of ALICE.) Don’t reach for your pistol, CABBIE: I know my job… what’s this? Mind what you’re doing… stop… Larrabee. It would be a foolish gesture. HOLMES: Too late. I’ve got you. (CABBIE rises, steps back. HOLMES LARRABEE: Pistol? (Takes out a pipe.) I was reaching for my pipe. stands, moves LEFT of chest. Alarmed, ALICE stands.) HOLMES: (Grabs ALICE’S wrist.) You’ve been mistreating this poor girl. 20 20 ALICE: What’s happening? (While HOLMES was pretending to help the There are marks on her wrist. CABBIE, he managed to slip on a pair of handcuffs.) Mr. Holmes, MADGE: I wouldn’t tell him anything, if I was you, Alice. All he wants why have you put handcuffs on the cabman? is your precious letters. HOLMES: Cabman? No, Miss Faulkner! (Steps to CABBIE.) I give you HOLMES: Do you wish to lodge a complaint against these people? the author of all the evil that has transpired… Professor Moriarty! ALICE: I will handle this matter in my own way. 25 (Whips off hat and wig, revealing none other than… MORIARTY.) 25 HOLMES: I implore you, Miss Faulkner. If you release the contents of ALICE: (Wavering.) I may swoon. your letters, there’s no telling what damage you will cause. WATSON: (Stands, moves to her.) Steady. I’m here, my dear. ALICE: What do I care for damage? I’m only interested in one HOLMES: (Calls UP RIGHT.) Now is the time, Lestrade! thing… money! LESTRADE: (From OFF, UP RIGHT.) Coming, Mr. Holmes! HOLMES: The insurance people will pay you a fair price. 30 HOLMES: Sorry you didn’t have the opportunity to finish me off. 30 ALICE: I am not interested in a fair price. You may tell your employers MORIARTY: That makes two of us. the letters will cost them thousands and thousands of pounds. HOLMES: I doubt if I would ever have reached Victoria Station. HOLMES: May I see the letters? MORIARTY: So do I. (HOLMES reaches into MORIARTY’S pocket, pulls LARRABEE: You’ll have to find them first. out a revolver, puts it on table. LESTRADE and FORMAN hurry IN TERESA: (Races IN from UP RIGHT.) Quick! There’s a fire below stairs! 35 UP RIGHT.) 35 Smoke coming out of the kitchen window. LESTRADE: Went like clockwork, eh, Holmes? (He and FORMAN move MADGE: Fire? to MORIARTY.) LARRABEE: Where the devil’s Forman? HOLMES: Here’s your man. (To MORIARTY.) Oh, permit me to introduce MADGE: Don’t let it spread! (MADGE, LARRABEE and TERESA dash the Larrabee’s butler, Professor. He is one of my agents. OUT DOWN RIGHT, ALICE stands hugging the pillow from the chair.) 40 FORMAN: London will sleep easy tonight thanks to you, Mr. Holmes. 40 ALICE: Why don’t you help them?

42 7 RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT For Preview Only 1 HOLMES: Because I have the matter under control. When a woman 1 HOLMES: Do hurry, Mrs. Hudson. thinks her house is on fire, her instinct is to rush to the thing MRS. HUDSON: Yes, sir, Right away, sir. (Hurries OUT UP RIGHT.) which she values most. A married woman grabs at her baby… WATSON: 106 Harley Lane? Why, that’s the address of the insurance an unmarried one reaches for her jewelry or, in this case, letters! firm that hired you. 5 (Grabs pillow, rips it open, retrieves a packet of letters. ALICE 5 HOLMES: Correct. collapses into the chair.) WATSON: You’re going there with everyone coming here? ALICE: I am undone! HOLMES: Correct again. (Sees chest.) Hello, what’s that? HOLMES: My only wish is to help you. You are in the clutches of two villainous criminals. WATSON: Some medical supplies I had delivered. 10 ALICE: You’re clever. HOLMES: (Crosses to chest, kneels down, pulls it out.) Might do. 10 It’s heavy. HOLMES: Brilliant. WATSON: Might do for what? ALICE: You have the letters. You’ve won. HOLMES: Do stop asking so many questions and give a hand. HOLMES: I have the letters, true. But I have not won. (MADGE and LARRABEE RETURN, stand DOWN RIGHT.) WATSON: (Helps with chest. They position it CENTER STAGE.) You’re going to leave it there? 15 MADGE: Only a grease fire. 15 HOLMES: (Listens.) Curious. LARRABEE: Forman started it. Tipped over a pot of lard. (MADGE and LARRABEE freeze as they see the letters in HOLMES’ hand.) WATSON: What? HOLMES: I cannot take these letters, Miss Faulkner, unless you turn HOLMES: That’s he’s here so soon. them over voluntarily. WATSON: Who? 20 LARRABEE: Why not? HOLMES: (Listens again.) No, those are not the footsteps. HOLMES: That would be stealing. 20 (Sniffs.) Jasmine. ALICE: (Stands.) You cannot have the letters. ALICE: (ENTERS UP RIGHT.) Pray forgive me for coming here against your instructions. HOLMES: In that case… (Holds them for a moment, returns the packet to ALICE.) HOLMES: You are a woman of strong will, Miss Faulkner. 25 MADGE: (To HOLMES.) You’re mad. ALICE: You wouldn’t allow me to thank you last evening. HOLMES: I’m not happy with Miss Faulkner’s decision, if that’s 25 HOLMES: I expect no thanks. But I told you I had an important what you mean. (To ALICE.) I would advise you to leave this business meeting here at this hour. (Listens.) Shhh. house at once. ALICE: What is it? ALICE: (Looks to MADGE and LARRABEE.) I am not afraid of them WATSON: Shhh! 30 any longer, Mr. Holmes. If they attempt to seize these letters I ALICE: Shhh? shall destroy them. (MADGE and LARRABEE gasp.) Tear them into 30 HOLMES: Miss Faulkner, quickly… play a patient. Keep your back to shreds, eat them, burn them, but destroy them I shall. (They gasp the visitor. again.) There is no profit in ashes. ALICE: (Looks around.) What visitor? HOLMES: You are a remarkable young woman, Miss Faulkner. HOLMES: Watson, I rely on you. 35 ALICE: I shall go to my room. (Crosses RIGHT, speaks to MADGE and WATSON: Hurry, my dear, Hurry. (Waves her into the client’s chair. Sits LARRABEE.) Stand aside. (They do. ALICE EXITS DOWN RIGHT.) 35 behind the desk. HOLMES quickly takes off his jacket and begins to HOLMES: I trust you will not take this matter lightly. If any harm should brush it in an attempt to appear casual. CABBIE ENTERS UP RIGHT, come to Miss Faulkner, I shall hold the two of you personally wearing a long coat with the collar turned up, a hat and a stringy responsible. Be warned. (They stiffen.) No need to show me to the wig. He carries a buggy whip.) 40 door. I’ll find my own way out.(EXITS UP RIGHT as both MADGE and CABBIE: (Gruff voice.) Cab? LARRABEE give out a low hiss.)

8 41 For Preview Only 1 hound? What next? (HOLMES ENTERS UP LEFT, guardedly.) 1 LARRABEE: (Crosses, sits in chair.) Just when everything was going Holmes, what the devil! so well. HOLMES: (Goes UP RIGHT, looks OFF.) We’re alone? MADGE: What are we going to do? WATSON: (Looks about.) Of course we’re alone. What are you doing SID: (Sticks his head IN DOWN RIGHT.) All clear? 5 coming in that way? 5 MADGE: Not with that Sherlock Holmes on to us. HOLMES: I wanted to make certain Moriarty saw me. SID: (Steps IN.) What about the letters? WATSON: Then why didn’t you come in the front way? MADGE: Holmes didn’t get them. HOLMES: There must be a certain mystery regarding my return to LARRABEE: We ought to go upstairs and take the letters by force. Baker Street. You see, he means to kill me. MADGE: What good would that do with Holmes on the scent? Besides, 10 WATSON: You mean… in here? 10 you heard her. She’ll destroy them and not a penny for our trouble. HOLMES: He missed his chance in the Plumstead Marshes. SID: If Holmes is on the case and you need help, there’s one man WATSON: Were you mixed up in that? you’ve got to see. HOLMES: (Moves DOWNSTAGE.) In a fashion. (Quick.) Any unusual LARRABEE: Who? visitors this morning? SID: Moriarty. 15 WATSON: Some poor girl complaining about a dog. 15 MADGE: Moriarty? HOLMES: Dog? SID: Professor Moriarty. The Napoleon of Crime. He hates Sherlock WATSON: And a patient who called herself Lillian Gibbs but looked Holmes with a ripe passion. He’ll get them letters for you and stop suspiciously like the description you gave me of Madge Larrabee. that snooper in his tracks. HOLMES: Excellent! Undoubtedly here to see if I was in hiding. The MADGE: Sounds good. 20 knot draws tighter. (Moves UP RIGHT, calls OFF.) Mrs. Hudson! 20 SID: (Moves UPSTAGE.) What are we waiting for? WATSON: What about the letter business? LARRABEE: Where to? HOLMES: I have sent word for Lady Edwina and Prince Carl to meet SID: Where else? To the Professor’s! (EXITS UP RIGHT, MADGE and me here within the hour. LARRABEE exchange a wondering look. Can Professor Moriarty WATSON: With Moriarty on the prowl? really help? It’s worth a try. LARRABEE stands.) 25 HOLMES: What better time? 25 LARRABEE: Come on. (He and MADGE follow after SID.) MRS. HUDSON: (Runs IN UP RIGHT.) Mr. Holmes, I didn’t hear you CURTAIN come in. ACT ONE HOLMES: That is what you may expect to hear when I do not wish to Street Scene Interlude One be heard. 30 MRS. HUDSON: Huh? LIGHTS FADE on the Larrabee drawing room and come UP on the HOLMES: Be so kind as to fetch the cabbie on the corner. FORESTAGE. Sound of drum being banged rhythmically and OFFSTAGE MRS. HUDSON: Cabs don’t wait on the corner, Mr. Holmes. Not VOICES chanting “Votes for Women, Votes for Women, Give Women enough business for them. the Vote!” HOLMES: I believe you’ll find one there this morning. Inform the cabbie 30 Three Suffragettes (BASSICK, GINGER, PEPPER) ENTER from RIGHT. 35 you have a tenant who wishes to go to the following address… PEPPER has the drum. They march ACROSS to DOWNSTAGE CENTER. 106 Harley Lane. GINGER carries a wooden box. MRS. HUDSON: Who’s going out? SUFFRAGETTES: Votes for women! Votes for women! Give women HOLMES: I am. the vote! MRS. HUDSON: But you just came in. 35 FLOWER WOMAN: (With flowers, comes down ALLEY B from OFF.) Buy a flower. Only a penny. Who wants one?

40 9 For Preview Only 1 SUFFRAGETTES: Votes for women! Votes for women! Give women the 1 MADGE: (Takes prescription.) Miss Gibbs, Doctor. Miss Lillian Gibbs. vote! (GINGER puts down the wooden box, BASSICK stands on it, Thank you for your time, although I am sorry to discover Mr. prepares to deliver speech. SID, MADGE and LARRABEE cross the Holmes isn’t home. UPSTAGE AREA behind the settings, and EXIT LEFT.) WATSON: (Pouts.) I get a lot of patients who come here hoping to 5 BASSICK: Citizens of London, the time has come for women to take 5 see him. their rightful place in the scheme of things! (GINGER applauds, MADGE: Just a glimpse is all I wanted. I wouldn’t dream of intruding PEPPER bangs the drum. FLOWER WOMAN moves down to LEFT on his privacy. Sure he’s not here? of BASSICK, listens.) For too long have men ruled the universe WATSON: My dear young woman, I’ve already told you that Holmes is with no thought of sharing power with their wives, sweethearts, not here. I am not in the habit of lying. 10 sisters, daughters, mothers and mothers-in-laws! (More applause. 10 MADGE: I didn’t mean to appear rude. ELEGANT LADY and GENTLEMAN ENTER LEFT, stand, listen.) Is this right? Is this fair? Is this noble? MRS. HUDSON: (ENTERS UP RIGHT.) It’s a Miss Baskerville, Dr. Watson. SUFFRAGETTES: No, no! WATSON: (Tries to recall the name.) Baskerville, Baskerville? FLOWER WOMAN: Sometimes, maybe. MRS. HUDSON: (Calls OFF UP RIGHT.) This way. 15 SUFFRAGETTES: Quiet! MADGE: I won’t take any more of your time. (MAGGIE BASKERVILLE, 15 a pretty teenage girl ENTERS UP RIGHT. MADGE nods to her as FLOWER WOMAN: I thought you asked for me opinion. (To she EXITS.) ELEGANT LADY.) Buy a flower, dearie. Only a penny. (ELEGANT LADY nods. GENTLEMAN takes out his wallet, hands FLOWER WATSON: (To MRS. HUDSON.) Silly creature that Miss Gibbs. Not a WOMAN a bill. She hands ELEGANT LADY a bud. BASSICK thing the matter with her. 20 speaks through this pantomime.) MRS. HUDSON: Do sit down, Miss. (She indicates the client’s chair.) BASSICK: I say the time has come for suffragettes to march on 20 WATSON: What seems to be the trouble? the House of Lords, the Commons, the Admiralty, and all other MAGGIE: (Moves to desk.) I’m desperate for help. You must tell me bastions of male supremacy. when Sherlock Holmes will return. SUFFRAGETTES: Hear, hear! Good show! Bravo! (GENTLEMAN WATSON: I have no idea. What’s the trouble? Perhaps I can assist. 25 has started to return his wallet to his back pocket, only FLOWER MAGGIE: My uncle was recently killed by… a gigantic ghost hound. WOMAN has moved behind him and instead of the wallet going into 25 WATSON: What! his pocket, it goes into the FLOWER WOMAN’S hand.) MRS. HUDSON: A ghost hound, did you say? BASSICK: We’ll chain ourselves to the gates of Government House. We’ll demand that Queen Victoria declare a national holiday to MAGGIE: On the moors outside the manor house. The villagers say 30 commemorate the injustices done to women by unequal laws and it’s the family curse… The Hound of the Baskervilles! unjust men! If all else fails… we’ll refuse to serve teal MRS. HUDSON: Good gracious! Doesn’t sound like a proper English SUFFRAGETTES: Hear, hear! Good show! Right-o! Bravo! (PEPPER 30 ghost at all. bangs the drum. While ELEGANT LADY has been listening, MAGGIE: My brother, Sir Henry, is next in line for the inheritance. I FLOWER WOMAN has delicately removed the necklace from must speak with Sherlock Holmes. (Breaks into tears. WATSON 35 around her throat.) moves to her. Puts his arm around her shoulder.) GENTLEMAN: What rubbish. You women ought to be locked up. WATSON: There, there. SUFFRAGETTES: Boo, boo! 35 MAGGIE: My brother will be the next to die, I know it. I’m so frightened. DETECTIVE: (ENTERS RIGHT.) What’s the trouble here? MRS. HUDSON: (Steps to her, motherly.) Come along with me, child. GENTLEMAN: It’s these infernal suffragettes making a nuisance of Nice cuppa hot tea by my kitchen fire will do you wonders. 40 themselves in the public street. WATSON: Excellent idea. (MRS. HUDSON guides MAGGIE OUT.) When DETECTIVE: (Opens jacket to display a badge to SUFFRAGETTES.) Well, you’ve had your tea, perhaps Holmes will return. (MAGGIE’S sobs it’s the police you’re talking to now. Move along, move along. 40 can still be heard as she goes OFF.) Poor child. Gigantic ghost

10 39 RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT For Preview Only 1 The SINGER is performing for Londoners, some of whom have followed 1 SUFFRAGETTES: (Disappointed.) Oooooooooow! her in LEFT and OTHERS who ENTER RIGHT, e.g., NEWSBOYS, DETECTIVE: Move along, I say. No trouble, no trouble. (FLOWER GENTLEMEN, ELEGANT LADY, TERESA, DETECTIVE, FLOWER WOMAN, WOMAN holds up the wallet and necklace for SUFFRAGETTES to MATCHGIRL, EXTRAS. see. PEPPER bangs the drum, moves LEFT. BASSICK steps down 5 Londoners get into the “spirit” of the scene, applauding, singing 5 from the box, GINGER picks it up. FLOWER WOMAN EXITS LEFT, along, etc. If the selection is brief, a second can be added. When the SUFFRAGETTES follow.) entertainment is concluded, the SINGER EXITS LEFT, followed by some SUFFRAGETTES: Votes for women! Votes for women! Give women of the crowd, while OTHERS EXIT RIGHT, leaving only the NEWSBOYS the vote! on stage. Quickly, they hold up newspapers and begin their pitch. DETECTIVE: There now, sir. Things is quiet as a summer night. 10 NEWSBOY ONE: Extra edition, extra edition! 10 (GENTLEMAN and ELEGANT LADY move CENTER.) NEWSBOY TWO: Extra edition of the Evening News! GENTLEMAN: I trust so, officer. Isn’t safe to walk in London anymore. NEWSBOY ONE: Mysterious explosion in Plumstead Marshes! DETECTIVE: Nothing to fear, sir. I’m here to protect honest citizens. Warehouse blown to bits. ELEGANT LADY: (Her hand to her throat.) Oh! NEWSBOY TWO: Police arrest fake suffragettes! Notorious Mrs. GENTLEMAN: What’s wrong?! 15 Bassick and gang of female robbers behind bars! 15 ELEGANT LADY: My necklace! Someone’s stolen my necklace! NEWSBOY ONE: Fake suffragettes admit part in heist at the Tower GENTLEMAN: (Feels for his wallet.) My wallet’s gone! of London! DETECTIVE: It must have been them suffragettes. Quick, the NEWSBOY TWO: Crime wave at an end, says Scotland Yard. next corner and get help. I’ll follow them women. (ELEGANT NEWSBOY ONE: Royal wedding plans revealed! Queen Victoria gives LADY and GENTLEMAN hurry OFF RIGHT. DETECTIVE calls after 20 her blessing! 20 SUFFRAGETTES.) Stop thief! Stop thief! (Takes out a whistle, NEWSBOY TWO: Russia and Austria sign long-term peace pact! sounds the alarm as he runs OFF LEFT. LIGHTS FADE to BLACK.) NEWSBOY ONE: More military buildup in Europe! END OF STREET SCENE INTERLUDE ONE NEWSBOY TWO: Munitions stocks rise! Millions invested in bombs, ACT ONE bullets and cannons! Scene Two 25 NEWSBOY ONE: (EXITS RIGHT.) Extra edition, extra edition! NEWSBOY TWO: (EXITS LEFT.) Police arrest fake suffragettes! SETTING: The underground office of Professor Moriarty. Mysterious explosion in Plumstead Marshes! (LIGHTS FADE AT RISE: MORIARTY stands at the blackboard which is covered with to BLACK.) mathematical and chemical equations: E=MC2, R-CHO, NaOH, etc. END OF STREET SCENE INTERLUDE THREE 25 He is a crafty creature, as brilliant as Holmes, but wicked, sinister. His secretary JOAN, sits on the bench with, pad and pencil. From time to ACT TWO time, as MORIARTY gives an order, he works on some problem at the Scene Two blackboard with a piece of chalk. SETTING: Sherlock Holmes’ Flat. Morning. MORIARTY: I understand our contact in the Tottenham area has been 30 holding out on us again. 30 AT RISE: WATSON is seated behind the desk writing out a prescription. MADGE LARRABEE pretending to be a patient, is seated in the client’s JOAN: His collections from your “Protective Society” have fallen off chair. A heavy chest or crate is by the table. by two percent. WATSON: I’ve written out a prescription. It should help your MORIARTY: I suspect that two percent has ended up in our contact’s headaches, Miss… uh… I didn’t quite catch the name. (Holds pocket. I think we can dispense with his future services. Arrange 35 for his body to be found in a mail sack somewhere in the north 35 prescription out.) of Scotland. JOAN: (Makes a note.) Yes, Professor.

38 11 RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT For Preview Only 1 MORIARTY: What about the informant who was working undercover 1 ALICE: Meditation! You haven’t time. (HOLMES takes a deep breath, with Scotland Yard on the jewel heist? drops his head softly chanting “Om-Om-Om.”) Hurry, oh, hurry. JOAN: Disposed of in the usual manner. There’ll be no trace. Please, Mr. Holmes. MORIARTY: As usual. HOLMES: Om-Om-Om. (NOTE: Remember that the rope has been tied 5 so loosely at the wrists that it’s no problem to slip out of the bind.) 5 JOAN: One of the dockworkers in your employ was overheard mentioning that he was a close friend of “Professor Moriarty.” ALICE: (Looks at bomb.) Ninety seconds! MORIARTY: Professor Moriarty has no friend, and Professor Moriarty HOLMES: Om-Om-Om. is the friend of no one. Have him attended to. ALICE: Hurry! JOAN: Yes, sir. HOLMES: Om-Om-Om. 10 MORIARTY: See that his disappearance is noticed. Have it spoken of. 10 ALICE: Too late! Have the workers on the docks wonder whatever became of their HOLMES: (Springs from the chair, freed from the rope.) Never! mate. What they conjure in their imagination will be far worse than ALICE: (Great sigh of relief.) Thank heavens. the truth. (Chuckles.) HOLMES: (Fast, he unties the rope around his ankles. Moves to ALICE JOAN: You’re a master of psychology, Professor. and begins to free her hands and feet.) It’s all in the inhalation. 15 MORIARTY: Anything else? 15 Proper breathing is a great boon to mankind. It’s a pity so few men JOAN: Three of your men come up for trial on Thursday next. and women know how to breathe properly. (ALICE, nervous, studies MORIARTY: Ah, yes. Thanks to young Sherlock Holmes. the bomb.) That and concentration, of course. JOAN: He’ll be the Crown’s star witness. ALICE: Do you think you could hurry along, Mr. Holmes? MORIARTY: (Moves behind desk.) Holmes has interfered with my HOLMES: Meditation never fails. 20 plans once too often. I do not wish him to testify. 20 ALICE: I will have to try it some time, but not now. JOAN: Will you deal with him in the usual way? HOLMES: You’re a brave young woman, Miss Faulkner. MORIARTY: You surprise me, my dear Joan. Sherlock Holmes is not ALICE: At the moment, I’m a frightened young woman. (She’s free, a usual human being. Therefore, he cannot be dealt with in the leaps up.) We must escape. usual manner. (Telephone device rings on desk, MORIARTY picks HOLMES: (Gestures graciously.) After you, Miss Faulkner. 25 up receiver.) Commence. (Listens, puts down the receiver.) It’s 25 ALICE: (Hurries OFF, UP RIGHT.) There are only seconds left. Mrs. Bassick. Admit her. (JOAN stands, EXITS LEFT, above bench. HOLMES: (Checks timing device.) Forty-one to be precise. (LIGHTS MORIARTY sits behind the desk, his arms spread wide like a giant FADE to BLACK as HOLMES strides leisurely OFF UP RIGHT. BOMB spider. Sound of door being unbolted OFFSTAGE, locks, chains, etc.) explodes with brief FLASH of colored lights.) JOAN: The Professor will see you, Mrs. Bassick. (BASSICK ENTERS. CURTAIN 30 Sound of Door being bolted, chained, etc.) MORIARTY: Report. ACT TWO BASSICK: A respectable haul from various suffragette meetings held Street Scene Interlude Three throughout the city. AT RISE: Loud sound of music as the LIGHTS come UP on FORESTAGE MORIARTY: Clarify “respectable.” (BASSICK takes a fistful of jewelry 30 and a STREET SINGER ENTERS LEFT, singing. 35 from her pocketbook, along with wallets, and dumps them atop the desk.) Not as good as our haul from the Tower of London. NOTE: The actual selection is left to the individual production, but it BASSICK: Ah, Professor, a Tower of London job comes along once in should be lively, exciting, entertaining. If an accordion player or other a lifetime. musician can be worked in, so much the better. MORIARTY: Perhaps next time I can arrange to steal the “Tower.” 40 (Chuckles cruelly. JOAN returns, sits.) Anyone out there?

12 37 For Preview Only 1 LARRABEE: (Smirks.) The great detective. BIown to bits in the 1 JOAN: Sid Prince. Plumstead Marshes. (EXITS.) Ha, ha, ha. (NOTE: An excellent MORIARTY: Who? touch, if it can be managed, is to have the sound of the BOMB JOAN: Sid Prince, the safecracker. You used him to open the vault at ticking gradually louder and louder as the scene progresses.) the stock exchange. 5 ALICE: Who is this Professor they speak of? 5 MORIARTY: I recall. HOLMES: The most evil man in London. I suspect, Miss Faulkner, he BASSICK: Any assignment for this evening, Professor? wishes the marriage to take place. That is why he has taken an MORIARTY: I’ll get word to you. It may be that I shall require your interest in the letters. “special talents.” ALICE: I don’t understand. (Looks at bomb.) Four minutes. BASSICK: (Curious.) Oh? 10 HOLMES: If the marriage takes place, he can then produce the 10 MORIARTY: It will depend on how my conversation with a certain letters proving that Prince Carl married under a cloud. That he private investigator concludes. (Quick.) No trouble with the police? employed deception. BASSICK: My suffragettes are well trained, Professor. Whenever it ALICE: Go on. looks as if the jig is up, we stage a minor riot. When it’s over, the HOLMES: This affront to the honor of the Russian Royal Family will onlookers have been relieved of their wallets, baubles and beads. 15 demand satisfaction. 15 MORIARTY: If I had used you for previous assignments, three of my ALICE: Satisfaction? best men wouldn’t be standing in the dock with Sherlock Holmes HOLMES: War. breathing down their necks. (Holds up some jewelry, examines it.) ALICE: War! (Looks at bomb.) Three minutes. BASSICK: If women get the vote, it will be the end of our masquerade. HOLMES: The Professor would then be in a position of unbelievable MORIARTY: I do not intend to see so valuable a gang as our 20 power, since he controls the munitions cartel. That is the scheme. 20 suffragettes lose their cover. To this end I am working diligently to Count on it. see that women do not receive the vote. ALICE: Incredible. BASSICK: I understand. HOLMES: Miss Faulkner, your poor sister met her demise not as you MORIARTY: (To JOAN.) Admit Sid. (JOAN EXITS.) You’ll get your cut in believe, but at the hands of a hired assassin. the usual manner. 25 ALICE: Can I believe that? (Looks at bomb.) Two-and-a-half minutes. 25 BASSICK: Always a pleasure talking with you, Professor. (EXITS, HOLMES: I know Moriarty’s methods. MORIARTY studies the jewelry with the aid of an eyeglass, or ALICE: Although we will soon be going out together, I feel I hardly magnifying glass. Sound of door being unbolted, unchained, etc. know you. You are here, doomed, because of me. I cannot help SID ENTERS. Sound of door being secured again.) but feel responsible. SID: Remember me, Professor? 30 HOLMES: These things happen. 30 MORIARTY: You left traces of coal dust on the vault at the stock exchange. ALICE: If only you had stayed out of the case. SID: I did? HOLMES: When Moriarty is involved, matters demand my presence. MORIARTY: What do you want? (Looks at bomb.) Two minutes. SID: I come across something that might interest you. ALICE: Then this is… goodbye. MORIARTY: Commence. 35 HOLMES: Nonsense. I shall free myself from these bonds and survive… 35 SID: Seems this couple ALICE: How? MORIARTY: Names. HOLMES: In Tibet, I studied the thought concentration of the holy SID: Madge and James Larrabee. monks. They had the amazing power to shrink their hands through MORIARTY: They’re wanted by the French police. intense meditation. SID: Blimey, Professor, is there anything you don’t know?

36 13 For Preview Only 1 MORIARTY: I don’t know what you’ve come across that might 1 BASSICK: Give us any trouble, Mr. Holmes, and the girl goes first. interest me. (They push ALICE into the chair at the side of the table, remove SID: They met a young woman who has letters that would put the the gag.) Prince of Bohemia in a very awkward way. ALICE: They can’t be trusted, Mr. Holmes. 5 MORIARTY: (Interested.) The Prince of Bohemia? (Quick.) Where are 5 VILLAINS: (Laugh. Mimicking ALICE’S voice.) Can’t be trusted, Mr. Holmes. the Larrabees? HOLMES: I recognize the lot. Mrs. Bassick and her gang of counterfeit SID: (Nods LEFT.) Waitin’. suffragettes, Sid Prince and the destructive Gashouse Gertie. MORIARTY: (Erupts from behind the desk, moves to SID, grabs him by LARRABEE: (To BASSICK.) What are you waiting for? Tie him up. (MRS. the neck, begins to throttle him.) You brought them here! Here to BASSICK nods to GINGER who, with SID’S help, moves HOLMES to 10 my secret underground office! 10 the other chair which is placed at the other side of the table. Rope SID: (Choking.) Ugh, ugh. I vouch for the Larrabees. is produced from the top of some crate. SID and GINGER proceed MORIARTY: (Contemptuously shoves SID to the floor.) I hope you’re to tie HOLMES’ hands behind his back and his feet. [NOTE: loosely]. right, Sid Prince. Otherwise, the Thames River will have you for an PEPPER ties ALICE’S feet. Dialogue through this business.) overnight guest. Joan! (JOAN ENTERS.) Admit the Larrabees. HOLMES: It is not difficult to imagine who is at the bottom of this. 15 JOAN: Yes, Professor. (EXITS. Sound of door being unbolted, 15 LARRABEE: He knows about the Professor. unchained, etc.) BASSICK: No matter. (Steps down to HOLMES.) Anyhow, the SID: (Picks himself up, sits on bench.) I wouldn’t do nothing to harm Professor’s agent, he gave me a message for you. you, Professor Moriarty. You know that. You can trust Sid Prince. HOLMES: Indeed. MORIARTY: (Goes behind desk.) I trust no one. That is why will BASSICK: He presented his kindest compliments and wished you a 20 never be defeated. (Cautiously, MADGE and LARRABEE ENTER. 20 pleasant journey. LARRABEE stands by bench, MADGE in front of desk. Sound of ALICE: Journey? What is she talking about, Mr. Holmes? OFFSTAGE door being bolted.) What is this business you have BASSICK: A pleasant journey to the other side. with the Prince of Bohemia? GERTIE: (Dips into shopping bag and comes up with the bomb. Moves LARRABEE: I don’t know as we want to tell you. After all, this is our to table.) He had me whip up a li’l bon voyage gift. (Sets it on table.) 25 game, not yours. 25 Ain’t it pretty? MORIARTY: Is it? ALICE: (Eyes wide.) It’s a bomb! LARRABEE: I’m not even certain I want to be here. GERTIE: Oh, I hope so, dear. That’s what it’s supposed to be. MORIARTY: Silence. LARRABEE: Five minutes. LARRABEE: Here, now, I don’t like to be talked to like that. GERTIE: I’ll set the timer. (She does.) Just like boiling an egg. 30 MORIARTY: Obviously, you do not understand to whom you are speaking. 30 SID: Come on, let’s get out of here. SID: (Shaking.) Don’t anger the Professor. BASSICK: Glad to see the last of you, Mr. Sherlock Holmes. LARRABEE: I’m not afraid of him. LARRABEE: The rope’s tight? MORIARTY: You’d better be, James Larrabee. Otherwise, you won’t GINGER: They can’t twist their hands out of those knots. live another day. I have my methods. ALICE: We’re doomed. 35 MADGE: (To LARRABEE.) Careful. 35 HOLMES: Courage, Miss Faulkner. Courage. MORIARTY: (To LARRABEE.) Sit down. (LARRABEE sits, wary.) SID: You all can stay and chitchat if you want. I’m traveling. (EXITS SID: I was telling the Professor about the Prince of Bohemia. UP RIGHT.) MADGE: (To MORIARTY.) Can you help us? GERTIE: I’m with you, Sid. (Follows after him, as do GINGER, PEPPER, MORIARTY: Who is the young woman in the case? BASSICK. LARRABEE is the last. He turns.)

14 35 RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT For Preview Only 1 HOLMES: A children’s book. Get on with it. 1 MADGE: Alice Faulkner. Stubborn. Her sister died in despair over LARRABEE: (Stands, paces LEFT.) How much will you give? the prince. HOLMES: One thousand pounds. LARRABEE: But not before the prince wrote many love letters. LARRABEE: Five. MADGE: We planned to sell them to the insurance company. 5 HOLMES: (Takes out a wallet.) I have brought the sum with me. (Lays 5 LARRABEE: Everything was going fine. Then, all of a sudden-like, they out the money.) called in Sherlock Holmes. LARRABEE: I won’t take less than five, I tell you. MORIARTY: (Furious.) That name again! (Calms down.) Where are the HOLMES: My time is quite as limited as yours. One thousand pounds. letters now? If you desire to sell at this figure advise me at once. Otherwise… MADGE: Alice has them on her person. She threatens to destroy them 10 (Stands.) I shall bid you a good evening. 10 if we make a move. LARRABEE: (Moves back to table.) Will you give me two? MORIARTY: You know the contents of each letter? HOLMES: One. MADGE: Of course. LARRABEE: (Shrugs.) Ah, well, why quibble? (Takes money, counts.) MORIARTY: You could make forgeries? One thousand pounds it is. MADGE: We have in our employ an extremely clever forger. 15 HOLMES: My letters? 15 LARRABEE: Forman by name. LARRABEE: (Picks letters up, hands them to HOLMES.) Paid for MORIARTY: Holmes has seen the letters? and delivered. MADGE: Only the small packet he returned to Alice. He had no time HOLMES: (Delighted.) Now I’ve got you, Larrabee. You’ll get ten years to open the envelopes. for robbery. MORIARTY: Tie the forgeries up so that they will look exactly like the 20 LARRABEE: Robbery? 20 packet Holmes held in his hand. HOLMES: These letters. SID: But why, Professor? LARRABEE: You don’t even have a witness. MORIARTY: I have my methods. I shall want that counterfeit package HOLMES: Miss Faulkner herself. I saw her enter this warehouse. And at eleven tonight. intermingled with the odor of escaping gas is the unmistakable MADGE: It’ll be ready. 25 scent of jasmine. Where have you hidden her? (ALICE moans, 25 MORIARTY: I will also require a little assistance from you both. groans. THEY turn to the sound, HOLMES on the alert.) LARRABEE: You haven’t said anything about the business arrangements. LARRABEE: Pay no mind. It’s them water rats. MORIARTY: You’ll have an opportunity tonight to sell the counterfeit HOLMES: When you’re behind bars, the Professor will have lost one package to Holmes for a good round sum. You will take one more incompetent crook. hundred percent and I nothing. 30 LARRABEE: Think so? (Takes out whistle, gives three short blasts.) 30 MADGE: Nothing? HOLMES: A whistle? Bit theatrical, isn’t it? (SID ENTERS UP RIGHT SID: Nothing? with a drawn pistol. BASSICK and GERTIE ENTER LEFT. BASSICK, MORIARTY: (Confirms.) Nothing. too, has a weapon. GINGER and PEPPER MOVE to ALICE.) LARRABEE: (Angrily.) Nothing except the packet of real letters. LARRABEE: Now who’s got the upper hand? SID: Careful, Jimmy boy. Don’t make the Professor angry, I tell you. 35 HOLMES: (Strikes a karate pose.) I warn you… I learned uncommon 35 MORIARTY: (Icy.) You were, I believe, Mr. Larrabee, acquainted with fighting techniques in the Orient. My hands and feet are deadly. one Alf Waxman, a well-known blackmailer. SID: All talk. We’ve got him pinned down. LARRABEE: I know old Alf, sure. LARRABEE: We’ll play it safe. (Calls LEFT.) Bring out the girl. (GINGER MADGE: We all do. and PEPPER push ALICE before them, MOVE toward table.) MORIARTY: (Smiles like a cobra.) Seen him around lately?

34 15 End of Script Sample PRODUCTION NOTES 1 MADGE: It was because of your criminal past that I hired you. I needed someone who could keep his mouth shut. STAGE PROPERTIES, ACT ONE FORMAN: Blackmail? Nothing was further from my mind. LARRABEE DRAWING ROOM: Chair with pillow containing packet of MADGE: I trust so. For your sake. letters, side table, small table with floor-length cloth, small safe 5 FORMAN: The parlor maid wishes to give notice. under table. MADGE: (Surprised.) I pay her well. MORIARTY’S OFFICE: Table, chair, telephone device, blackboard with FORMAN: Certain “things” in the house distress poor Teresa piece of chalk, small bench. MADGE: I’ll speak to the girl. HOLMES’ FLAT: Desk, chair, writing material, client’s chair, test tubes, books, scientific apparatus on table, ottoman or small FORMAN: Yes, ma’am. (EXITS DOWN RIGHT.) chair, fireplace. 10 MADGE: (Reads “wedding” article quickly, almost desperately.) “His Royal Highness Prince Carl van Stalburg of Bohemia Will wed Her HAND PROPS, ACT ONE Royal Highness Princess Alexandria Romanov of Russia…” (She’s Newspapers (NEWSBOY ONE, TWO) interrupted by ENTRANCE of her husband UP RIGHT.) Coin, small tray and card (FORMAN) LARRABEE: I found Sid. He’ll be along in a moment. Satchel with small hammer (SID) 15 MADGE: Read this. (Holds out paper, sits. He moves down, takes paper.) Second column. Magnifying glass , violin, notepad, pencil (HOLMES) LARRABEE: (Checks article.) Hmmmmm. So he’s going to marry a Pipe (LARRABEE) Romanov, is he? Drum (PEPPER) MADGE: That’s good for us. The better the title, the higher the stakes. Wooden crate or box (GINGER) 20 LARRABEE: Not unless we get those letters. Flowers (FLOWER WOMAN) MADGE: We’ll get them. Never you worry. (TERESA, a young maid, Wallet with paper money (GENTLEMAN) ENTERS DOWN RIGHT. LARRABEE moves UPSTAGE.) Necklace (ELEGANT LADY) TERESA: Forman said you wanted to see me, Mrs. Larrabee. Badge and whistle (DETECTIVE) MADGE: What’s this nonsense about you wanting to give notice? Pad, pencil (JOAN) 25 TERESA: (Hesitates.) I don’t l like the way you treat your friend. Pocketbook containing jewelry, wallets (MRS. BASSICK) MADGE: (Smiles warmly.) You misunderstand, Teresa. She’s ill. Not right in the head. Eyeglass, revolver (MORIARTY) LARRABEE: (Still reading the article.) If we’re harsh with her, it’s only Medical bag, pen, pad (WATSON) because we’re thinking of her own good. Matches (MATCHGIRL) 30 TERESA: You mean she’s… demented? STAGE PROPERTIES, ACT TWO MADGE: Quite. WAREHOUSE: Crates, barrels, boxes, some rope, table, safety lantern, TERESA: That does make a difference. two chairs. MADGE: Run along now and let’s hear no more talk of your giving notice. HOLMES’ FLAT: Add crate or heavy chest. TERESA: Yes, ma’am. (Curtsies, EXITS DOWN RIGHT.) 35 LARRABEE: She’s a silly thing. Might be wise to let her go. HAND PROPS, ACT TWO MADGE: Never. We have to keep up appearances. Playing cards (GINGER) SID: (From OFF, UP RIGHT.) Sid Prince here! Shopping bag with bomb device (GERTIE) LARRABEE: (Turns.) In the drawing room, Sid. Whistle (MORIARTY)

46 3 RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT 1 NEWSBOY ONE: London plagued by robberies, kidnapping and tainted Packet of letters (LARRABEE) kippers! Read all about it! Rope and gag, weapon of some sort (MRS. BASSICK) NEWSBOY TWO: Police suspect evil genius at work! Valuable jewels Wallet with paper money, handcuffs, fake letters (HOLMES) stolen from Tower of London! Pistol (SID) 5 NEWSBOY ONE: Royal wedding for Prince of Bohemia! Read all about it! Read all about it! Buggy whip (CABBIE/MORIARTY) FORMAN: (Butler for the LARRABEES, ENTERS drawing room from UP Handbag with real letters (ALICE) RIGHT, walks to the edge of the room by ALLEY A, pantomimes the COSTUMES opening of a window. Calls to NEWSBOY ONE.) Here, lad, let’s have Except for costumes clearly indicated in the text for plot purposes, 10 a paper over here. the costuming follows standard melodrama requirements. The period, NEWSBOY ONE: Yes, sir. Right away, Governor. (Moves to the to be precise, is the 1890s, but all that’s vital is that the female “window.” FORMAN takes a coin from his pocket, hands it over, roles have long dresses or skirts, hats, etc. Nice touch is achieved if gets paper. NEWSBOY TWO goes up ALLEY B.) PRINCE CARL can have some sort of uniform jacket with a few medals. NEWSBOY TWO: Evening news! Evening news! Who stole the 15 jewels from the Tower of London? Read all about the baffling SOUND EFFECTS mystery! (EXITS.) Bolting, chaining, locking and unlocking of MORIARTY’S door, violin NEWSBOY ONE: (EXITS up ALLEY A.) London gripped by outbreak of music (Practical from OFFSTAGE), telephone ring, tick-tick-tick of crime and violence! Read all about it! (VOICE trailing off.) Another timebomb (Optional), explosion. murder in Whitechapel… London plagued by robberies… Royal ABOUT THE PRODUCTION 20 wedding for Prince of Bohemia! (FORMAN stands at the “window” reading the front page. MADGE LARRABEE ENTERS DOWN RIGHT.) Keep it moving. There should be no “dead spots.” One scene flows MADGE: Forman, what are you doing at the window? into another. In ACT ONE, director may wish to light only that section of FORMAN: The paper ma’am. the stage wherein a scene is being played (LARRABEE’S, MORIARTY’S, HOLMES’), keeping the unused portion of the stage in shadows. MADGE: You may read the paper below stairs when I’m done with it, 25 not before. In ACT TWO, the warehouse is played full-stage, as is HOLMES’ FORMAN: (Steps behind chair.) Oh, but there’s something here that apartment. LARRABEE’S DRAWING ROOM and MORIARTY’S OFFICE will interest you. are struck at intermission. MADGE: Let me see that. (Takes paper from him, scans front page.) A great effect can be had by cutting a groundrow of London out of “Murder in Whitechapel… gang war… jewels stolen from the plywood or heavy cardboard, placing it at the back of the stage and 30 Tower of London?” lighting it from behind, thus giving the audience what looks like a view FORMAN: The article about the Royal wedding. Second column. of the London skyline in the distance. MADGE: (Reads.) “Royal Wedding for Prince of Bohemia.” (Angrily.) Extras can be used as Londoners, street vendors, etc. Undoubtedly, you’ve heard my husband and I discuss certain private matters in regard to the prince. 35 FORMAN: I know my place. MADGE: Do you? You’d better give up any idea of blackmail, otherwise I shall inform Scotland Yard that I have a wanted forger in my employ. FORMAN: Please, Mrs. Larrabee, I told you that in the strictest 40 of confidence.

2 47 RIGHTS MUST BE PURCHASED BEFORE REPRODUCING THIS SCRIPT SET DESIGN - ACT ONE SHERLOCK HOLMES

ACT ONE Scene One

48 1 ACT TWO SET DESIGN - ACT TWO/SCENE ONE Scene One: An Abandoned Warehouse Larrabee on edge. Alice plots a dangerous game. Gashouse Gertie on the job. The flatfoot overplays his hand. The bomb ticks. Tibetan Meditation saves the day. Scene Two: Sherlock Holmes’ Flat Fake patient for Dr. Watson. A damsel in distress hounded by a doggie. The end of Moriarty. Holmes in disgrace. Love conquers all. Holmes on the scent. Grand curtain call finale. Add some amusing notes to the program. Some examples:

iv 49 SET DESIGN - ACT TWO/SCENE TWO SYNOPSIS Place: London Time: 1890s ACT ONE Scene One: Drawing room at the Larrabees. Evening. Scene Two: Professor Moriarty’s underground office. Day. Scene Three: Sherlock Holmes’ flat, 221 B Baker Street. Evening. ACT TWO Scene One: An abandoned warehouse. Midnight. Scene Two: Sherlock Holmes’ flat. Morning. ABOUT YOUR PROGRAM Audiences enjoy reading an interesting program, so keep the description of the character: NEWSBOY ONE ...... a hard-working lad NEWSBOY TWO ...... another FORMAN ...... an unusual butler MADGE LARRABEE ...... up to no good Etc. Extend it to a brief description of each scene. For example:

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