Mishpachah Matters

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Mishpachah Matters

Issue 77.7 and 77.8 Mishpachah Matters

Adar - Nisan - Iyar 5777 The Newsletter of Bet Mishpachah, Founded in 1975 by Members of the Washington, DC, Gay Community March and April 2017 www.betmish.org New Member Shabbat Talmud After Dark—Spring Shabbaton Friday, March 3 Bet Mishpachah is excited to be Please join us for our New Member Shabbat in conjunction hosting Maggie Anton as its with our Rock N Scroll Service on Friday, March 3. A scholar-in-residence for its festive Oneg Shabbat will follow. Spring Shabbaton on April 28 and April 29, 2017. This event is Purim being cosponsored by GLOE. Saturday, March 11 Following the Shabbat service at Our topsy-turvy Purim service begins with Havdala and 8:00pm on Friday, April 28, continues with the Megillah reading. Maggie will be speaking on: (Continued on page 8) Alex Carter and Rabbi Ben Shalva lead. Following services, assorted hamentaschen and other goodies, and wine and schnapps will be served. This event will take March is Women’s History Month! place at the Van Ness East party room, 2939 Van Ness Women’s Outreach Series Street, NW a two-block walk from the Van Ness Metro Kicks Off on Friday, March 24 station. On-site parking is available. Bet Mishpachah members and friends, please join us at the EDC JCC at 6:30pm for a classic dairy/vegetarian Rabbi Green’s Spring Classes pot luck and learn. Beverages will be provided.

on Issues Facing Jews Today This gathering will be the first of a series of

Save these dates for Rabbi Laurie Green’s spring classes on intergenerational gatherings to reflect on and from the burning issues facing Jews today: March 16 and 23, and women’s movement, continuing fight for LGBT rights, May 10 and 18, 2017. Classes are held at 7:00pm at the and more over the last few decades. This is not the first Edlavitch DCJCC. time that women’s rights, health care, and choices have been at risk—and Bet Mishpachah is home to many who (Continued on page 3) have been pushing for progress for awhile. This intergenerational gathering will give us the opportunity Popular Saturday Salon Continues on Second to hear how women from our own congregation Saturdays at the Edlavitch DCJCC mobilized in the past to work for gaining and protecting equal opportunities and rights. What are today’s Saturdays, March 11 and April 8 challenges? How can we apply the past strategies to

Join the dozen or more Bet Mishpachah members and mobilize for today’s challenges? What are our next others who have been attending the popular Saturday Salon steps? Services will follow at 8:00pm. series co-sponsored by Bet Mishpachah and the Edlavitch DCJCC on the second Saturday of each month. The Salon Guest Torah Chanter starts at 12:45pm in the Community Hall following our on Saturday, March 25

Bet Mishpachah is honored to have as our special (Continued on page 3) guest a superb Torah chanter (leyner)—Nechama Masliansky—at our Shabbat morning services on Here’s an opportunity to get involved: Saturday, March 25. Bet Mishpachah will sponsor dinner for LGBT (Continued on page 2) refugees, please join us for an evening of learning and fun on Saturday, March 18 Washington DC’s Egalitarian Synagogue

When I read that congregation Rodef Shalom in Falls Embracing a Diversity Church, Virginia, had hosted a dinner for 30 newly arrived of Sexual and Gender Identities Muslim neighbors and what a grand success it had been I (Continued on page 8) Content listing can be found on page 2. Mishpachah Matters Adar - Nisan - Iyar 5777/March and April 2017 Page 2

Guest Torah Chanter Contents: (Continued from page 1) Page 3:

Nechama is a frequent leyner at Adas Israel congregation and has a beautiful Nominations for Congregational voice, in-depth knowledge of Torah text and trope (cantillation), and an Service Awards extraordinary talent as a Torah leyner. Page 4: Passover Seder Matching: An attorney for a social justice non-profit, Nechama learned how to leyn in Have We Got a Match for You! her 50s and encourages everyone with a good singing voice to learn how to Selling Your Chametz for Pesach leyn, no matter how old you are. What a Deal!

Please join us for the rare treat of hearing a true expert chant so beautifully Queen Esther Tzedakah Fund from our Sefer Torah on Saturday, March 25. As always, our Shabbat recipient DC SURJ—Standing Up morning service will start at 10:00am and, after the chanting from our historic For Racial Justice “Russian” Torah scroll, will include our usual lively discussion of the week’s Page 5-6: Torah portion (in lieu of a sermon). March and April Calendars Page 7: Services will be followed at 12:00 noon by our delicious Kiddush lunch with The Richard Krampf Memorial plenty of time to schmooze over bagels and lox, salads, fruit and dessert. Social Action Fund—Twenty-Two

Don’t miss this special opportunity to hear Torah chanting at its absolute best Years of Tzedaka by our amazingly talented guest leyner. Page 9-10: Why Is It Still a Question How To Welcome Girls? World Congress of GLBT Jews Page 10: Annual Board Meeting and Shabbaton, March 16 – 18, 2017 Welcome to our New Member March and April Birthdays and The World Congress of GLBT Jews, of which Bet Mishpachah is a founding Anniversaries member, will be hosted by JAG, of Buenos Aires, Argentina for their annual Page 11: Board Meeting and Shabbaton March 16 – 18, 2017. Events will include Thank You to Our January and picnics at Palermo Gardens and Puerto Madero, a visit to the Israeli Embassy, February Service Leaders and a Shabbat dinner. Transportation to the Israeli embassy will be provided. Mazal Tov Cost for all events is $100. Contact Barbara Goldberg, (703) 548-1086 or Thanks to Our January and [email protected], for information on nearby hotels and updated event listing. February Oneg Shabbat and Kiddush Sponsors Visit www.glbtjews.org or www.facebook.com/glbtjews to learn more about Page 12-13: the World Congress and for updates about the March Board meeting in Buenos Donations Aires. Page 13-17: Member Yartzeits Page 19: Directory

Do you want to join Bet Mishpachah?

Membership is an opportunity to develop friendships, learn, become involved in your heritage, and support the only LGBT synagogue in the Washington, DC area.

To join Bet Mishpachah as a member is easy, just visit www.betmish.org today. Questions, e-mail [email protected]. Mishpachah Matters Adar - Nisan - Iyar 5777/March and April 2017 Page 3

Popular Saturday Salon Nominations for Congregational (Continued from page 1) Service Awards Shabbat morning service (with Torah reading and discussion) and delicious Kiddush luncheon. Nominations are now being accepted for the below service awards. Please submit your nominees, with their The Salons are taught/facilitated by Rabbi JoHanna accomplishments, to Sue Silber no later than May 1, 2017 Potts, a superb teacher and discussion leader who at [email protected]. explores concepts in modern American Jewish life through relevant Jewish and other texts to make The Dace Stone Volunteer of the Year Award, named for your connection to these “big ideas” personally congregant Dace Stone (z”l), a distinguished social worker meaningful. The remaining dates and discussion and LGBT and AIDS activist, recognizes a congregational topics for this year are: member who has made outstanding contributions to Bet March 11 - Otherness Mishpachah. April 8 - Freedom & Responsibility May 13 - Covenant/Memories The Harvey Milk Chesed Award, named for LGBT activist June 10 - Justice and openly gay San Francisco City Council member assassinated in 1978, recognizes an individual, member or Rabbi Potts is the former director of the nonmember, who has made outstanding contributions to Department of Jewish Life and Learning at the the wider LGBT and Jewish communities of which Bet Jewish Federation of Greater Washington. Her Mishpachah is a part. teaching passion is to bring enjoyment to Jewish learning and to empower people to create lives of meaning through Jewish study. Previously she Rabbi Green’s Spring Classes (Continued from page 1) served as Director of Education at Temple Solel and at Temple Shalom, as Director of the Primary There will be a two-session class about “What is a Jew in School at Washington Hebrew Congregation, and st as Director of the Middle School at Gesher Jewish the 21 Century” on Thursday March 16 and Thursday Day School. In 2006, JoHanna served as co-chair March 23, 2017, and two pop up classes on bioethics with of the Conference for Alternatives in Jewish the first being “Judaism and Abortion” on Wednesday May Education (CAJE) at Duke University. She has 10, 2017, and the second “Judaism and Euthanasia” on been involved with the EDC JCC Jewish Women’s Thursday May 18, 2017.

Project and helped coordinate and lead the group’s Thursday, March 16: “Conversion Wars: What is a Jew in text study. JoHanna currently teaches at the the 21st Century?” Florence Melton School of Adult Jewish Learning, a Women’s Torah Study Group, and conducts Is conversion to Judaism about joining a people or teacher training workshops. (And she’s the sister professing a faith? Can conversion be revoked? Why are of long-time Bet Mishpachah service leader and Jews the only religion that make joining so difficult? Is past president Ruth Potts.) conversion an LGBTQ phenomenon? Has the Israeli rabbinate gone crazy? Oy the politics! From traditional We’ve invited JCC members attending the class to texts to contemporary mishagas, what does how we treat join us for our Kiddush lunch before the Saturday converts have to say about born Jews and about Jewish Salon. The EDC JCC reimburses us for their identity today? meals; lunch is free for Bet Mishpachah members and others who attend our Shabbat morning Thursday, March 23: “Belonging, Behaving, and service. Believing in American Jewish Identity: What is a Jew in the 21st Century?” You can register for the Saturday Salon on the What makes someone an American Jew? Is American EDC JCC website. The cost to the public is $20/ Jewry a unique phenomenon? Are we an ethnic group or a class; only $15 for Bet Mishpachah members. religion or something else entirely? Has America We hope you’ll join us from 10:00am to 12:00pm redefined the Jewish people? From Jewish humor and for our meaningful Shabbat morning services, feminist poetry to Talmud, sociology and the Lubavitcher Torah reading and thoughtful discussion followed Rebbe, what makes an American Jew in the 21st Century? by our Kiddush lunch on the second and fourth You are welcome attend any or all of them. Classes are Saturdays of every month and that on the second free for members. Nonmembers are requested to make a Saturdays you’ll stay for Rabbi JoHanna Potts donation of $10 per class. lively, thoughtful and informative Saturday Salon. Mishpachah Matters Adar - Nisan - Iyar 5777/March and April 2017 Page 4

Passover Seder Matching: Queen Esther Tzedakah Fund recipient Have We Got a Match for You! DC SURJ—Standing Up For Racial Justice

Looking for a place to celebrate first or second night In the spirit of giving during the Purim season, donations Pesach (Passover) Seder with other members of the Bet are now being collected for the Queen Esther Fund which Mishpachah family? We will do our best to match is donated to a local organization to be used to help those willing hosts and guests for first or second Seder. who are in need. This year the funds will be donated to DC Standing Up For Racial Justice (www.surjdc.com/). Please e-mail [email protected] and give your name, a contact phone # and state either: “Through community organizing, mobilizing, and education, SURJ moves White people to act as part of a (1) which night you’re willing to host an additional one multi-racial majority for justice with passion and or two people for Seder at your house, or accountability. SURJ provides a space to build (2) which night you’re looking to be hosted for Seder relationships, skills and political analysis to act for change.” The chapter in DC is focused on organizing Our Shad’chanit (match-maker) extraordinaire, white people to end racism/white supremacy, and more. Community Affairs Director Sue Silber, will do her best They are currently working to protect DC’s status as a to match you up. sanctuary city and organizing groups to welcome and help immigrants at airports. A Zissen Pesach —a Sweet Passover—to all! You can make donations or pledges at our Purim service Selling Your Chametz for Pesach on Saturday, March 11, which will be held at Van Ness What a Deal! East (not at the EDC JCC), you can donate online at www.betmish.org/index.php/donate or you can mail a Pesach (Passover), which begins this year with the first check to Bet Mishpachah, Dept. 0520, Washington, DC Seder on Monday night, April 10, is one of the most 20073-0520. Donations can be made now through the end important and most obserrved Jewish holidays. Its of Passover. Clearly indicate QEF on your donation. liturgical description, Z’man Cheiruteinu—Season of our Liberation, suggests an additional meaning for LGBTQ Jews, our families, friends and allies.

That metaphorical meaning is grounded in the Hebrew One example of how we fulfill this principle is by giving name for Egypt: Mitzrayim, literally the doubly-narrow clothes that we no longer wear to charity so they can be place. The Exodus from Egypt represents the “coming used by those in need, rather than just throwing them out out” of the Jewish people from the restraints of slavery when they can still be used. and the narrowness of the death-based Egyptian culture into the broad open spaces of freedom and the Biblical When applied to chametz, the principle of Bal Tash’chit suggests that we should not throw out perfectly good imperative “therefore, choose life.” food before Pesach just to rid our homes of chametz that To prepare for Pesach each year, we are bidden to free could be used after the holiday ends. our homes of all traces of chametz, which is any leavened food produced by the combination of grain and How can we resolve these competing values and water. The underlying idea was to ensure that the matza traditions? By “selling” any remaining chametz in our homes to a non-Jew so that it is not legally in our we eat during Pesach is only made from new grain possession during Pesach. (It can be “bought” back after harvested this spring, not from any grain left over from Pesach ends.) last year. According to strict interpretations, we are not even allowed to own any chametz during Pesach. Long-time Bet Mishpachah member and Darshan extraordinaire Al Munzer has graciously agreed again Due to the “risen” or “puffed up” nature of chametz, it has traditionally has been associated with egotism and this year to coordinate the sale of chametz for those who want to observe this venerable tradition. arrogance. Therefore ridding our homes of chametz before Pesach has traditionally been seen as a metaphor Please e-mail Al at [email protected] by April 4 if you for ensuring our own humility, a value that is highly would like him to sell your chametz for you before prized in Judaism. Pesach. Please make a generous tax-deductible donation to Bet Mishpachah for taking advantage of this service. As Shalom Aleichem’s character Tevye the Dairyman (from “Fiddler on the Roof”) would say, “On the other Many thanks to Al for providing this service to Bet hand....” In this case, that would refer to the Talmudic Mishpachah congregants and a Zissen Pesach—a sweet principle of Bal Tash’chit, which means we should avoid (and chametz-free) Passover to all. needlessly wasting things.

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The Richard Krampf Memorial Social Action Fund—Twenty-Two Years of Tzedaka The Richard Krampf Memorial Social Action Fund, It has been in the Jackson family since 1912. Martin created through the generous contributions and wishes Luther King Jr. was a good friend of the family and of Richard’s closest friends after his untimely death in whenever he was in town he stayed at that house, had a August 1995. Richard gave generously of his time and small desk in the back and invited other supporters of spirit to our Social Action Social Justice Committee. the struggle. For two weeks prior to the March he had We memorialize his spirit of giving through the work of asked Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel to join him there SASJ by making donations to organizations to be used to discuss strategy and add the voice of the Jewish to augment its services and contributions. people to their fight.

Annually, the SASJ Committee of Bet Mishpachah Jawana Jackson, daughter of the family and now reviews requests or nominations from local, national, custodian of the Jackson Home, is trying her best to and international non-profit organizations and awards keep the house which is on the National Register, in one local organization and one other qualified good shape and accessible to all who are interested in organization a $500 donation. the history of the civil rights movement. It is not an easy task but she and a small group of volunteers are Earlier this year our congregation, made a donation to committed to this cause. The donation from Bet the Jewish Funeral Practices Committee of Greater Mishpachah will help them keep Rabbi Heschel’s Washington to honor Bob Hausman who was retiring memory as an important participant, not only in the after 40 years of service to us and the greater March but in its conception and execution, alive. Washington area Jewish community leading the Jewish Funeral Practices Committee. This committee provides For more details, please see http:// training and assistance for Chevra Kadisha groups and www.jacksonfoundationandmuseum.com/. synagogue bereavement committees. The Committee provides education and resources, and negotiates and Donations to the Krampf Fund are encouraged to ensure supervises contracts with two funeral homes. that our congregation continues its tradition of Tzedaka and Tikkun Olam in our community and the world. The second organization to receive the Richard Krampf Your Krampf Fund donations can be made online at donation will be the Jackson Home in Selma, Alabama. http://www.betmish.org/index.php/donate. Note on the The following was written by one of our congregants donation page in the Special Fund box that you want who had the opportunity to visit the Jackson Home: your donation to go to the Krampf Fund.

Recently, I participated in a civil rights trip to Atlanta, Montgomery and Selma. Many things impressed me but nothing left as lasting an impression as Selma and

the activists from the 50s and 60s whom I met there. Of course, there had to be a movement before Dr. King came and marched with John Lewis across the Edmund-Pettus-Bridge on their way to Montgomery.

The bridge stands and is supported by funds as an important part of American history. Most other parts of Selma are falling apart and the town gives a sad and dilapidated impression. Not only is there a synagogue, temple Mishkan Israel (more than 100 years old) but another building that gives witness to the fact that the Jewish community was intricately involved in the voting rights struggle in Selma. That building is the Jackson Home. Congregational Installation Shabbat Dinner

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Here’s an opportunity to get Talmud After Dark—Spring Shabbaton involved (Continued from page 1) (Continued from page 1) “Sex Between Men in Medieval Times (aka Playing the Game) was thought that Bet Mishpachah, being the Neither a Crime nor Abnormal.” While researching Rashi’s GeLiBTe congregation in the area, could do Daughters, Maggie learned that until the Renaissance, Europeans something similar for LGBT refugees/asylum accepted that men might be sexually attracted to anyone beautiful, seekers, albeit on a smaller scale. I contacted both maidens and youths. Sexual relations between men were Center Global, the organization that supports sinful, but love between them was honored, and lusty young men LGBT asylum seekers in DC. The Center were assumed to have sex with each other. Apparently, the hosts a monthly dinner for LGBT asylum medieval society that was tolerant towards Jews and learned women seekers at the Reeves Center, on the third also tolerated Ganymedes. Saturday of every month. Bet Mishpachah is now scheduled to provide dinner on Saturday, Following the Shabbat morning service March 18. at 10:00am on Saturday, April 29, Maggie will be speaking on: “What the It is a great opportunity for them to find Talmud Actually Teaches about Sexual community and support; to share experiences; Relations.” Any Talmud student knows and to learn about the asylum process and that our Sages debate all sorts of establishing a new life here in the United subjects in great detail. So, it should States. The group meets at 5:00pm and has come as no surprise that they also some time for meet and greet and updates. discuss every aspect of sexual Then a speaker gives details on a specific relations—how, when, where, with topic, in March it will be someone from the whom—often in startlingly explicit Whitman-Walker team on mental health fashion. Maggie reveals how the implications of being a refugee. One member ancient Rabbis are progressive in many of the group will also speak to the issue from respects—and more bawdy, than one personal experience. At 6:00pm dinner and might think social time starts. The event ends at 7:30pm. I have asked that we add a short Havdala Maggie was born in Los Angeles, California, where she still resides. service to the program so that the refugees Raised in a secular, socialist household, she reached adulthood with may also learn something about us and our little knowledge of her Jewish religion. All that changed when she Jewish culture. We hope that you would like met her future husband and they both discovered Judaism as adults. to take part in this event. That was the start of a lifetime of Jewish education, synagogue involvement, and ritual observance. Bet Mishpachah will provide a meal for approximately 35 people (20-25 Asylum In 1992, Maggie joined a women’s Talmud class where to her Seeker individuals plus Center staff and us). surprise, she fell in love with Talmud, a passion that has continued We also provide plastic dishes, silverware, unabated for twenty years. Intrigued that the great Talmudic scholar cups, and drinks. Rashi had no sons, only daughters, Maggie researched the family and decided to write novels about them. Thus, the award-winning Since the Center does not have a lot of space trilogy, Rashi’s Daughters, was born, to be followed by National at the Reeves Center and has no kitchen or Jewish Book Award finalist, Rav Hisda’s Daughter: Apprentice and stove/oven, we want to bring home-cooked its sequel, Enchantress. Still studying women and Talmud, Anton food in crockpots. has lectured throughout North America and Israel about the history behind her novels. Elke will bring food for ten (10) people, Vinny has volunteered to bring dessert. We A Shabbaton Congregational dinner will be held at the Edlavitch need three to four more people who are DCJCC on Friday, April 28, at 6:30pm. The cost is $26 per person willing to cook a meal (preferably in a for members and $33 per person for non-members. Payments can be crockpot so it can stay hot) and deliver it to made via our website, www.betmishpachah.org, or by sending your the Reeves Center between 5:00 and 6:00pm. check made payable to Bet Mishpachah to Mindy Gasthalter, 1725 17th Street NW, #208, Washington, DC 20009. There will be a Will you step up to the challenge? Kiddush luncheon following the morning service on Saturday, April If you would like to contribute food to this 29. Please RSVP by Friday, April 21 to [email protected] event and/or attend the event, please contact if you plan to attend or have any dietary requests or questions.

Elke at [email protected] to discuss Arrangements will be made for the purchase of Maggie’s books. details. Thank you!

Mishpachah Matters Adar - Nisan - Iyar 5777/March and April 2017 Page 9

Why Is It Still a Question of Genesis, in which the matriarch Leah states, How To Welcome Girls? following the birth of Zevulun, “Zevedani Elohim By Rabbi Laurie Green oti zeved tov,” or “God has granted me a gift.” Often reception lasts two or three hours and Mira and I recently welcomed our daughter into the includes 200 or 300 guests. world and into the covenant (brit). Sadly, it’s complicated and confusing to figure out how to There are lots of new approaches. For example, the welcome a girl into the brit. It’s hard to know what new custom of sharing texts from the parshah the to do if you’re not Jewishly educated, and it’s hard week she was born and from the daf yomi (the for rabbis too because our learning presents more Talmud section) from the day she was born. And questions and problems than answers. As a the new custom of feet washing. committed religious person and an avid feminist devoted to a progressive, meaningful, traditional One of the biggest questions is when to hold a Judaism, what to do is complicated. covenant ceremony for a daughter? Some say the 8th day for equality. Others argue for rosh hodesh So I did some research. It turns out that Jewish or the 30th day for feminine and traditional moon ceremonies for girls existed in the middle ages. associations. Another possibility is the 15th day They are NOT NEW. because Leviticus declares one week of separation for the birth of boy and two weeks for a girl, so the Some are welcome ceremonies for babies—boys 15th day is traditional female number. Is this sexist and girls alike. The earliest such practice that we or separate but equal? know of predates the expulsion from Spain (15th century). It’s called Las Fadas and is rarely But there is ONE ANSWER I HATE—WHEN practiced today in America, though when IT’S CONVENIENT!!! celebrated it is generally by families of Turkish and Balkan heritage. It is a ceremony that was held the This answer is sexist. We rush for boys; girls can night before a baby boy’s circumcision as well as wait. How can so called Progressive Jews? How after the birth of baby girls. There’s also a can so called feminists? How can LGBTQ folks Yemenite ceremony held on Simchat Torah when a take such an attitude in this day and age. hakafah (processional) is purchased in the baby’s honor and the baby and Torah are paraded around But there is another reason I can’t tolerate the plea together. There’s an Indian ceremony that includes for convenience. It totally rejects the importance of flower blossoms. covenant. Where’s the COMMITMENT? Do we take Torah seriously or not? Judaism is not a Early German communities created a ceremony called sometimes religion. Hollekreisch, which was used to make the giving of the secular name a public event. After Shabbat lunch, the Mira and I spent countless hours creating a book of Vayikra (Leviticus) was placed in the crib. The covenant ceremony for our daughter—struggling to crib would then be lifted up and the following recited in find the right balance of traditional and German: Hollekreisch! How shall the baby be called? contemporary. I must say, it’s not easy being trans Ploni Ploni Ploni (i.e. his or her name three times). The positive but not so over the top it felt more like a custom applied to both boys and girls. political rally rather than a ritual. Some ceremonies are specifically for girls. The most famous of these is the Zeved Habat in And not surprisingly we met with criticism from Sefardic and Italian Judaism, which dates back to at relatives who were unhappy that we didn’t do it the least the 17th century. This ritual mentions seven way they wanted it done. And yes, a certain prophetesses from Talmud as role models, and relative, who moved heaven and earth to come to includes a centuries old blessing that begins “mi our son’s bris on the 8th day, was rather perturbed sheberach imoteinu,” the first known use of that that our daughter’s ceremony was not at her construction. Zeved is Aramaic for “precious gift.” convenience. The name for the ceremony derives from the book (Continued on page 10) Mishpachah Matters Adar - Nisan - Iyar 5777/March and April 2017 Page 10

Why Is It Still a Question Welcome to Our New Member! (Continued from page 9) I make no claims that Mira and I did it the right Jayme Schlenker way. There is no right way—not yet. We’re still creating it. Member Birthdays

Centuries from now, what we create now will be an March ancient tradition, and it won’t look anything like 2 JonRobert Johnson our daughter’s ceremony. It will become 5 Matt Adler something else entirely. I’m counting on it. And 12 Tom Sachs then the time will come when our customs will be 12 Charlie Stewart 14 Rick old and backwards, and future generations will 18 Richard Grossman recreate Judaism yet again. 21 Leonard 23 Lorie Friedman Being religious and feminist and gay isn’t easy. 28 Mike Greenwald I’ve been doing it for a while and many of you 28 Batya Hyman have been doing it MUCH longer. It’s 30 Davi LaBarre complicated…still…even in 2016! 31 Mark Agrast

But we needn’t reject tradition completely. April Traditional texts can provide more guidance than 2 Abbey Farkas we might think. Rabbenu Manoach of Narbone, 2 Hank Londner commenting on Mishneh Torah, grappling with a 3 Carol Stern 5 Cecilia Rothschild very different liturgical problem, had to explain a 6 Fred Mitzner brachah he thought should be forbidden. Rabbenu 7 David Schwarz Manoach said what you learn from this is a more 8 Bruce Frishman general principle—the gedolei hador (great ones of 9 Gail Tannenbaum every generation) are empowered to “invent new 10 Keith Cohen brachot for situations that arise that they understand 10 Barbara Goldberg to be unprecedented.” 11 Rachel Wolkowitz 13 Harvey Stoler The world will regularly present us with new 13 John Winterson situations, and we’ll be challenged to develop a 14 Liora Moriel Jewish response. Giving birth to a daughter is not 20 Bob Hollis 20 Sue Silber new. My charge to you all is to think long and hard 23 Jocelyn Kaplan about the language you use to describe ceremonies 24 Jeff Burka for girls. You don’t need to raise a child to 28 Mark contribute in this regard. Girls deserve more than a 29 Scott Segal naming on some Friday night when it’s convenient.

Member Anniversaries I hope that my daughter’s daughter grows up in a

Jewish community that takes both GIRLS and March COVENANT equally seriously. 1 Jeff Akman and Steven Mazzola 1 Eva Freund and Elke Martin 26 Belinda Cross and Batya Hyman

April 16 Louis Blank and Dan Yost 18 Ellen Levy and Joy Savage Mishpachah Matters Adar - Nisan - Iyar 5777/March and April 2017 Page 11

Thank You to Our January and February Thanks to Our January and February Oneg Service Leaders Shabbat and Kiddush Sponsors

Friday, January 6: Larry Neff and Rabbi Ben Shalva A sincere thank you to all the people who sponsored Friday, January 13: Rabbi Laurie Green Onegs and Kiddushes over the past decade and to all Saturday, January 14: Rabbi Laurie Green the people who shopped in support of the Onegs and Friday, January 20: Allen Armus and Alex Carter; and Kiddushes. John Kaboff—Cellist Friday, January 27: Rabbi Laurie Green and Paula If you would like to serve on a hospitality committee to Morris ensure the future of these welcoming weekly Saturday, January 28: Jeff Burka and Keith Cohen— “schmoozing” gatherings, please contact the Director of Torah discussion Administration, JonRobert Johnson at [email protected]. Friday, February 3: Allan Armus Friday, February 10: Rabbi Laurie Green and Rabbi Want to remember a loved one, celebrate a special Ben Shalva event, or just because? You can do this by sponsoring Saturday, February 11: Rabbi Laurie Green and Vinny an Oneg Shabbat or Kiddush luncheon. It’s simple and Prell; and Ellie Gordon—Torah reader pain free. Contact [email protected] or save your date Friday, February 17: Rabbi Laurie Green and Alex in the Oneg/Kiddush book available at Friday night Carter services. Friday, February 24: Paula Morris and Louis Blank Special thanks to our wonderful choir, Tach’shitim, for Can’t sponsor? Consider sending a donation of Chai singing for us during services, under the direction of Dr. ($18) or more to bring extended life to the Joel and Wayne Kemp. Murray Woldman Oneg Shabbat and Kiddush Fund, Saturday, February 25: Ruth Potts and Alex Carter established by a generous bequest from our beloved member Joel Woldman. Make donations at: http:// www.betmish.org/index.php/donate or mail to Bet Mazal Tov Mishpachah, Department 0520, Washington, DC 20073 -0520. To Barbara Lewis and Jutta Brettschneider who were featured in TAGG magazine as two of the Seven People January 14: Steven Frank and Ed Knight, celebrating Leading LGBTQ Health. the anniversary of Steve Frank’s Bar Mitzva January 20: Murray Woldman, to honor his Mother A Note from your Administrator: Lillian Woldman’s yarzeit To the outgoing Board, January 27: Past Presidents, Installation Shabbat Thank you for all your help in orienting me to Bet Mishpachah! January 28: Jeff Burka, in memory of his mother Jane Rothlein Burka and grandmother Edythe Rothlein To the new Board, Pollack, whose yarzeits were earlier this month I’m excited for all that we will accomplish together!

—Anne Buckwalter February 3: Allan Armus, celebrating the 60th anniversary of his Bar Mitzva What’s This? February 10: Sue Silber, in memory of Al Peterson, father of Sue’s spouse, June; Gene Silber, Sue’s father Scan it with a QR code reader on your smartphone and who died 24 years ago; Philip Silber, Sue’s brother, who find out! died recently. February 11: Keith Cohen, in memory of his Father, Web: www.betmish.org Maxwell Joseph Cohen Facebook: http://on.fb.me/ BetMishpachah February 24: Carol Wayman, in memory of her Twitter: twitter.com/betmish Grandmother, Rae Bernstein E-mail: [email protected] Mishpachah Matters Adar - Nisan - Iyar 5777/March and April 2017 Page 12

Donations  Roger Schechter, in memory of Corrine and Seymour Schechter We appreciate the generosity of our members and  David Schwarz, in memory of my father, Robert friends, and recognize them for their support. Schwarz Contributions may be made at any time during the year.  Charlie Stewart To make a contribution, send a check payable to Bet  Steven Weinberg Mishpachah, to Bet Mishpachah, Department  Michael White 0520,Washington, D.C. 20073-0520.  Noah Wofsy  Murray Woldman, in memory of Joel Woldman, January-February 2017 Member Donations member and my dear twin brother  Rachel Wolkowitz OPERATING FUND  Craig Ziskin  Anonymous (2)  Anonymous, in memory of Douglas Auerbach’s WOLDMAN ONEG & KIDDUSH FUND mother  Alex Carter  Anonymous, in honor of Anne Buckwalter  David Fox and Robert Margrave, in memory of Deb  Chad Appel Hyman’s brother, Mark  Douglas Auerbach  Mindy Gasthalter, for the installation Shabbat; in  Isaac Belfer honor of new board; in memory of Douglas  Joel Berelson Auerbach’s mother Barbara Auerbach; in memory of  Lawrence Berman Sue Silber’s brother  Alex Carter  Murray Woldman, in memory of Joel Woldman,  David Fox and Robert Margrave, in honor of member and my dear twin brother Barbara Brady Goldberg for her years of service  Barry Friedman RABBI’S DISCRETIONARY FUND  Jerald Goldberg, in honor of the new 2017 Board  Douglas Auerbach  Mike Goldstein  Fred Mitzner, thanking Bet Mishpachah for all their  Eileen Greenberg, in honor of the Jewels of Bet support at the death of my mother Mishpachah, Tach’shitim  Hazel BARUCH FUND  Richard Grossman  Rodney Ross, for the Monica Lobo Filho Baruch  Michael Hoffman Memorial Fund, given that we were friends when we  Batya Hyman and Belinda Cross both belonged to Temple Micah when her husband  JonRobert Johnson Bob was Rabbi  Jocelyn Kaplan, in memory of Deb Hyman’s brother and Andi Kasarsky’s sister MARK GOLDFARB MEMORIAL  Maxine Klane, in honor of the Board of Directors ACCESSIBILITY FUND  Barry Kropf  Allan Armus  Davi LaBarre  Arthur Leabman, in memory of lost friends RICHARD KRAMPF MEMORIAL SOCIAL  Barbara Lewis ACTION FUND  Diane Liff and Georgia Korn, in memory of Sue  Paula Morris and Deb Hyman Silber’s brother, Philip Silber  Carol Manheim January-February 2017 Non-Member Donations  Paula Morris and Deb Hyman, in memory of Sharon Cohen-Gordon Cohen’s mother; Deborah Potts- OPERATING FUND Ruth Potts’ mother; Mindy Gasthalter’s California  Jeffrey Adler mom; Martin Less’s sister; Jeff Burka’s  Randall Bell grandmother; Deb Hyman’s brother-Mark Hyman;  Rebecca and David Burka, in honor of Marc Barry Friedman’s Aunt Norma; Douglas Bernstein and Jeff Burka Auerbach’s mother Barbara; Andi Kasarsky’s sister  Michael Chase, in honor of Allan Armus’ Bar Mitzva Fern, Michael Resnick’s father Bernard; and Larry  Jeffrey Cohen, in honor of Bill Feldman Neff’s lost niece and nephew  Larry Cohen  Jeffrey Nakrin  Louis Cohen  Larry Neff  Eleanor Frishman  Ruth Potts (Continued on page 13)  Scott Reiter and David Vos Mishpachah Matters Adar - Nisan - Iyar 5777/March and April 2017 Page 13

Donations  Barry Sherbal (Continued from page 12)  Elizabeth Van Ness, in honor of Bet Mishpachah  Glenn Garelik members, Deb Hyman and Paula Morris  Susan Garner, Susan and Ginna are making this  Mark Weinberg, in memory of Max and Annette contribution in honor of Deb Hyman and Paula Weinberg Morris as part of their Chanuka gift for 2016  A.R. Weinstock  Wayne Kemp  Norman Schwartz, for my Parents Bella and Isadore Schwartz

Member Yartzeits

March 2017

Announced Friday, March 3 (Yartzeits observed March 3-9/Adar I 5-Adar I 12)

Helene Biscoe Kingsley Freed March 3 Grandmother of Seymour Stern Rhona LaBarre March 3 Wife of Davi LaBarre Rich Widener March 4 Friend of Louis Blank Ruth Seidman March 6 Aunt of Gail Tannenbaum Dorothy Noresky March 7 Mother of Bet Mishpachah Member Tom Chase March 7 Friend of Ruth Potts Israel Stern Adar 9 (March 7) Father of Al Stern Arnie Medvene March 8 Friend of Alex Carter Charles Most March 8 Grandfather of Morris Umansky Martin Weinstein Adar 10 (March 8) Uncle of Stuart Sotsky Dora Rodbell Silber March 9 Grandmother of Fran Sneider

Announced Friday, March 10 and Saturday, March 11 (Yartzeits observed March 10-16/Adar I 13-19)

James Olson March 10 Partner of Jerald Goldberg Joseph Gottesman March 10 Grandfather of Andi Kasarsky Abraham Most March 10 Cousin of Morris Umansky Dora Reiter March 12 Grandmother of Scott Reiter David Snaider Adar 15 (March 13) Uncle of Warren Snaider Angela Carter March 14 Aunt of Alex Carter Norbert Munzer Adar 16 (March 14) Cousin of Al Munzer Martin Gross March 15 Uncle of Mark Bessier Mannheimer Adar 17 (March 15) Mother of Barbara Goldberg Arthur Magid Adar 17 (March 15) Uncle of Carl Spatz Beatrice Blank March 16 Grandmother of Louis Blank Donald Haines March 16 Friend of Eryca Kasse Lillian Pasichow March 16 Grandmother of Heidi Pasichow (Continued on page 14) Mishpachah Matters Adar - Nisan - Iyar 5777/March and April 2017 Page 14

Member Yartzeits (Continued from page 13)

Announced Friday, March 17 (Yarzeits observed March 17-23/Adar I 20-26)

Kenneth Cross March 17 Brother of Belinda Cross Harriet Behrens March 18 Cousin of Mindy Gasthalter Lenore Arkin White Adar 20 (March 18) Mother of Michael White Roy Strassman March 19 Friend of Larry Neff Sylvia Youngman Adar 21 (March 19) Aunt of Joel Wind Mary Ford March 20 Mother of Alex Ford Jack David Neff March 20 Father of Larry Neff Philip Magid Adar 22 (March 20) Uncle of Carl Spatz David Grossman Adar 22 (March 20) Maternal Grandfather of Joe Pomper Mohr Weber March 21 Grandfather of Denise Leish Shelly Lomberg Adar 23 (March 21) Niece of Allan Armus Bertha Hecht Adar 23 (March 21) Aunt of Lorie Friedman Joseph Lehman Adar 23 (March 21) Maternal Grandfather of Michael Aaron Hoffman Seymour Pasichow March 22 Uncle of Heidi Pasichow Jack Halpern March 22 Grandfather of Roger Schechter Augusta Verdin March 22 Grandmother of Catherine Tarabochia

Announced Friday, March 24 and Saturday, March 25 (Yartzeits observed March 24-30/Adar I 27-Nisan 4)

Blanche Baar Stern March 24 Grandmother of Seymour Stern Sam Price March 24 Friend of Anne Buckwalter Samuel Spatz Adar 26 (March 24) Grandfather of Carl Spatz Dolores Jennetta March 25 Mother of Andrea Jennetta Menachem Moriel March 25 Father of Liora Moriel Stan Schwartz March 25 Friend of Larry Neff Jackie Gentry March 26 Friend of Ruth Potts and Alex Carter Esther Topkis Potts Adar 29 (March 27) Aunt of Ruth Potts Sharon Cohen March 28 Mother of Gordon Cohen Seymour Schechter March 28 Father of Roger Schechter Gustave Stern March 28 Grandfather of Seymour Stern Murray Dennis March 28 Cousin of Morris Umansky Aaron Rosenberg Nisan 1 (March 28) Maternal Grandfather of Deb Hyman Murray Eneman Nisan 1 (March 28) Grandfather of Jeffrey Berns Joseph Rheingold March 29 Grandfather of Mindy Gasthalter Harry Selbin March 29 Grandfather of Denise Leish Marie Martin March 29 Grandmother of Elke Martin Abraham Singer March 29 Grandfather of Michael Singer Henrietta W. Goldberg March 30 Mother of Jerald Goldberg Rob Madna Nisan 3 (March 30) Foster Brother of Al Munzer

(Continued on page 15) Mishpachah Matters Adar - Nisan - Iyar 5777/March and April 2017 Page 15

Member Yartzeits (Continued from page 14) April 2017

Announced Friday, March 31 (yahrzeits observed March 31-April 6/Nisan 5-11)

Jan Welch March 31 Partner of Alice Cohan and dear friend of Maxine Klane Marcia LeWinter March 31 California mom and second mother of Mindy Gasthalter Leon Jackson April 1 Devra Floyd’s partner in a professional dance company Sidney Pasichow April 1 Uncle of Heidi Pasichow Anat Levy Shmueli April 1 Cousin of Michael Singer Tom Moffett April 1 Friend of Catherine Tarabochia Seymour Bachman Nisan 5 (April 1) Father of David Bachman Rae Freeman Allman April 2 Grandmother of Beth Cohen Rona Riibner April 2 Cousin of Larry Neff Corrine Schechter April 2 Mother of Roger Schechter Rebecca Riemer Nisan 6 (April 2) Grandmother of Lorie Friedman David Magid Nisan 6 (April 2) Uncle of Carl Spatz Stephen Lee April 4 Spouse of David Schwarz Shirley Dwartz Nisan 9 (April 5) Grandmother of Paula Morris Barbara Kohn Katz April 6 Sister of Margy Kohn Joseph George Resnick Nissan 11 (April 7) Grandfather of Michael Resnick Sara Magid Patt Nissan 11 (April 7) Aunt of Carl Spatz

Announced Friday, April 7 and Saturday, March 8 (Yartzeits observed April 7-13/Nisan 12-18)

Alan Cohen April 9 Uncle of Beth Cohen Irving Goodman April 9 Father of Alan Goodman Sonya Gross April 9 Aunt of Mark Eunice Magid Spatz Nisan 13 (April 9) Mother of Carl Spatz Simon Gordon April 10 Uncle of Maxine Klane Edna Korn April 10 Mother of Georgia Korn Shirley Leish April 10 Grandmother of Denise Leish Sylvia E. Liff April 10 Mother of Diane Liff Louise Kadun Chiprut Nisan 15 (April 11) Grandmother of Beverly Nissenbaum Rebecca Sharp Nisan 15 (April 11) Grandmother of Murray Woldman Sean Sebastian April 13 Nephew of Denise Leish Arthur Dwartz Nisan 17 (April 13) Grandfather of Paula Morris Mary Madna Nisan 18 (April 14) Aunt of Al Munzer (Continued on page 16) Mishpachah Matters Adar - Nisan - Iyar 5777/March and April 2017 Page 16

Member Yartzeits (Continued from page 15)

Announced Friday, April 14 (Yarzeits observed April 14-20/Nisan 19-25)

Rumi Burnett April 14 Mentor and friend of Elke Martin Manuel Less Nisan 19 (April 15) Father of Martin Less Abe H. Goldberg April 16 Father of Jerald Goldberg Alfred Salomon April 16 Brother-in-law of Eva Freund and Elke Martin Ida Snaider Nisan 20 (April 16) Mother of Warren Snaider Elsie Freund April 17 Mother of Eva Freund, mother-in law of Elke Martin Debbi Willett April 17 Friend of Jack Hillelsohn Donna Floyd April 18 Cousin of Devra Floyd Leah M. Potts Nisan 22 (April 18) Grandmother of Ruth Potts Annie Singer April 19 Grandmother of Michael Singer Phyllis F. Scheinberg April 20 Friend and colleague of Larry Neff Morris Sobel April 20 Grandfather of Carol Stern Elizabeth Anne Hubner April 20 Friend of Morris Umansky Joseph J. Wormser April 20 Father of Lisa Schamess Bracha Apelberg Nisan 25 (April 21) Grandmother of Eytan Apelberg Chick Gordon Nisan 25 (April 21) Uncle of Warren Snaider

Announced Friday, April 21 and Saturday, March 22 (Yartzeits observed April 21-27/Nisan 26-Iyar 2)

Dolores K. Cohen April 21 Mother of Keith Cohen Glenn Neuman Rein April 21 Partner of Morris Levitt Miriam Londner April 22 Mother of Hank Londner Nikki Felch April 22 Friend of Catherine Tarabochia Nellie B. Messler April 23 Grandmother of Jon-Charles Smith Ann Friedman Nisan 27 (April 23) Mother of Barry Friedman Judith Smith April 24 Partner of Diane Citron and member CBM Jacques Carle April 24 Partner of Jack Hillelsohn Max Klane April 24 Grandfather of Maxine Klane Saul Gass April 25 Uncle of Eileen Greenberg Manya Gass April 25 Aunt of Eileen Greenberg Betty Grossman Nisan 29 (April 25) Mother of Richard Grossman Salvadore Montanino April 26 Paternal grandfather of Michael Montanino Alexander Frank April 27 Grandfather of Steven Frank Minnie Casel Lev April 27 Grandmother of Larry Neff Helen Gitelson Neff April 27 Aunt of Larry Neff Rose Mendelson Iyar 1 (April 27) Grandmother of Barry Friedman Fred Weinberg Iyar 1 (April 27) Father of Steven Weinberg Lia Horowitz Iyar 2 (April 28) Mother of Bruce Horowitz

(Continued on page 17) Mishpachah Matters Adar - Nisan - Iyar 5777/March and April 2017 Page 17

Member Yartzeits (Continued from page 16)

Announced Friday, April 28 and Saturday, March 29 (Yarzeits observed April 28-May 4/Iyar 3-9)

Martin Reiter April 28 Father of Scott Reiter Betty Saks April 29 Mother of Rabbi Bob Saks Julia Treger Kraisel Baker April 29 Mother of Leonard David Sotsky Iyar 4 (April 30) Father of Stuart Sotsky Michael Garcia May 2 Friend of Howard Stark Selma Cobden Iyar 6 (May 2) Grandmother of Jeffrey Berns Issac Fox Iyar 7 (May 3) Grandfather of David Fox Leona Cason May 4 Great aunt of Patricia Carlton N. Stanley Rosenswog May 4 Father of Sheila Hess Nathan Hyman May 4 Father of Batya Hyman Ellen Cenzer May 4 Aunt of Michael Singer Mishpachah Matters Adar - Nisan - Iyar 5777/March and April 2017 Page 18

Bet Mishpachah Communications Electronic Newsletter Subscription

This newsletter is published bimonthly by Bet Mishpachah, Do you want to receive Mishpachah Matters electronically and P.O. Box 1410, Washington, DC 20013. Articles, columns and in living color, while saving the synagogue money? Send an content should be submitted on or before the 10th of the month email to [email protected]. Include all the email prior to publication and sent to [email protected]. The addresses where you would like to receive the electronic newsletter is sent to members, donors, and various newsletter and your mailing address, as you will no longer need organizations. For a free e-mail subscription, write to the paper version. [email protected]. To advertise in our newsletter, contact [email protected]. Address, Phone, Email Changes

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Shabbat Services Email your item in the body of an email (no attachments) for ATCBM Submissions to [email protected]. Bet Mishpachah holds Shabbat services every Friday at 8:00 pm and the second and fourth Saturdays of every month at Bikur Cholim — We Care About You 10:00 am at the Edlavitch District of Columbia Jewish Community Center (EDC JCC), 16 and Q Streets, NW. Sign Become a partner in the mitzva of Bikur Cholim—visiting the Language interpretation is available by request to sick—by advising our Bikur Cholim Committee, rabbi, or [email protected] with a minimum of two weeks notice. Any president when you or a relative is hospitalized. We can stay changes to this regular schedule will appear on our website informed ONLY if we receive the information. Please email us (www.betmish.org), in the month’s printed calendar, and/or in at [email protected]. our electronic bulletin board ATCBM. Death Notices, Bereavement Services Enter the EDC JCC building on Friday nights through the Q Street door. You will be buzzed in by our shammas. Shabbat If you are in need of bereavement services or to announce a worship will be in the EDC JCC Kay Community Hall, on the death in your family, email [email protected]. right as you enter. A parking lot is available behind the EDC JCC and may be entered from Q Street. It has approximately Donations 20 spaces, including one designated for disabled drivers. To make a donation to our congregation, please send it to Bet

Mishpachah, Department 0520,Washington, D.C. 20073-0520. Parking: Additional free parking for Friday night services Or you can donate via PayPal from the “Donations” page on is available at the surface lot at the Scottish Rite Temple starting at 7:30 pm. The lot will be closed and locked and all our web site, www.betmish.org. cars must be removed by 10:30 pm. Parking is at your own To Schedule a Bet Mishpachah Event risk. The Temple is at 16th and S Streets NW; entrance to the lot is from the alley that connects 15th and 16th in the block Email the date, space needs, and number of expected attendees between R and S Streets. to [email protected].

Mishpachah Matters Staff To Sponsor an Oneg Shabbat or Kiddush Newsletter Coordinator — Amy Heffernan Design/Layout — Amy Heffernan Send an email to [email protected], with the date you’d like Proofreaders — Douglas Auerbach, Alex Carter, to sponsor, and the occasion. Mindy Gasthalter, Elke Martin, and Martin Robinson Transliteration Consultant — Scott Reiter Bet Mishpachah’s Affiliations

Bet Mishpachah is a member of: Network of Independent Jewish Communities and Havurot; Jewish Community Council of Greater Washington; World Congress of GLBT Jews: Keshet Ga’avah; Jewish Funeral Practices Committee of Greater Washington; and Celebration of the Spirit Coalition. Mishpachah Matters Adar - Nisan - Iyar 5777/March and April 2017 Page 19