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Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham FICTION the Atmosphere

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Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham FICTION the Atmosphere PAGE 10 / THE RETRIEVER APRIL 20, 1993 depths into the open realms of 1993 Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham FICTION the atmosphere. Huge blimp- like sea creatures opened their (from FICTION, page 9) jaws to ingest the thousands of roving organisms in its path. In best of a dying breed of cars human form. She was still the air soared sleek reptilian protected from this spectacle creatures, their cacophonous by her environment suit. language hovering over the Brougham offers classic good looks and lots of leg room The residue of the light crystal trees. explosion had faded now. In its On a faraway rock pillar on place existed a cosmos of this alien landscape, three of Gregory J. Cosden billions of stars. the reptilian avians squatted Retriever Staff Writer Rachael had just witnessed around a prostrated ground the birth of the universe. mammal. The mammal was a 1993 Cadillac Star clusters began to group quadruped, its limbs encased in familiar patterns. Gaseous in a thick mucus that restrained Fleetwood Brougham clouds and nebulae stretched it on its back to the horizontal By The Numbers across several parsecs of rock slab. The mammal (1 to 10 Scale) space, illuminating the void shrieked in pain, squirming with their incandescence. Bril- unsuccessfully to flee its Note: Vehicles are judged liant quasars and swirling gal- bonds. Staring patiently and numerically relative to the merits axies deposited themselves curiously at the mammal, the of other competitors in their across the vast domain. avians remained silent, their respective class, (i.e. luxury The Milky Way galaxy leathery wings folded peace- sedans to other luxury sedans, formed around her. encasing fully at their sides. minivans to other minivans, her with a belt of lights. Famil- Rachael had created her new sports cars to other sports cars, iar stars spiraled by her. existence. The scene she was etc.) accompanied by thousands of now witnessing was the pre- planets that were yet to be lude to her birth. ENGINE 7 charted or even discovered. A She would enter the strange (power, smoothness) yellow, middle-aged main new world as an avian. The TRANSMISSION 8 sequence star rotated near her, three birds that stood around (shifting competence) its planetary children sweeping the mammal were her parents, HANDLING 6 by in wondrous arcs. The blue- elements from all three neces- (responsiveness of green world of her home sary for successful conception chassis/steering) pirouetted across her field of in a ritual that she would not ERGONOMICS 9 vision. A turbulent ball of gas learn or experience until she (styling, user- plodded by, its many disciples reached physical maturity. The friendliness of interior) catching her eye. Callisto mammal was the embryo's COMFORT 10 stared at her with its gaping host. The fertilized zygote was (of seats, driving position, wound. planted within it and nurtured general refinement) Quickly the universe for several cycles in its womb RIDE 9 returned to its singularity, as it roamed the wild lands- (suspension compliance) collapsing into nothingness. cape, preying on imprudent STYLING 8 Stars and gases sped toward rodents, unaware of its fate. (exterior aesthetics) photo courtesy Cadillac Division, General Motors Corporation that point, until once again When the scene finished, UTILITY 10 Yes, it's big but the Cadillac Fleetwood is proof that good things don't just come in small packages. there was only blackness. Rachael would be an avian, (passenger space, cargo capacity) There were no longer senses bursting forth from its spent VALUE 9 in Rachael's being. There were host, speaking another lan- (overall quality, appeal) no feelings, no sounds — just guage, thinking a new set of POWERTRAIN: CHASSIS: a general awareness. She was thoughts, living out new expe- PLUSES: Cavernous cockpit, CADILLAC aware of no body, no presence riences, answering to a new traditionally excellent ergonomics, FLEETWOOD 16 valve OHVV8 Independent front of any kind. But her energy supreme comfort and quiet, classic Iron block and heads and live axle rear suspension permeated this void. She knew It was time to start again. good looks, quality materials, BROUGHAM 350 CID (5710 cc) Speed sensitive variable-assist what it was time to do. Yet she hesitated. All she had pillowy ride. recirculating-ball power steering. Rachael was not satisfied to do was let go of Rachael MINUSES: Loose steering, Front-engine, rear-wheel- with the darkness. Her mind Carter, a female of the Terran ponderous handling, powertrain drive sedan, 6-passenger, Power SAE. Vented front disc and rear created a ball of rock in the species. Then, she would be not as smooth or powerful as it 4-door steel body. .net 185 bhp @ 3800 rpm drum brakes void, a chunk of clay for her squatting in a pool of greenish should be, extra large body. Base price $33,990 Torque SAE ABS P235/70R15 Goodyear to mold. Her energy extended blood from the ruptured cavity THE BOTTOM LINE: The Price as tested . .$37,961 ....... net 300 @ 2400 rpm Eagle GA tires and wheels out. enveloping the primal of the mammal, its nostrils newly redesigned Fleetwood hits 4-speed automatic transmission planet. partaking of a new atmosphere, the mark as "King of the Highway DIMENSIONS: PERFORMANCE: Her mind carved great basins staring through its trilocular Cruisers" but could be "King of the CAPACITIES: in this world, filling them with eyes at its three parents. Road" with just a little more work, Wheelbase 121.5 in. 0 to 60 mph emerald seas. She speckled the All she had to do was let go. (and some dieting, too). Length 225.1 in. Fuel tank 23.0 gal. in 10.5 sec (est.) surface with crystal trees, rust- She clung to Rachael Carter. MARKET COMPETITORS: Width 78.0 in. Oil pan 4.0 gts. Top speed 110 (est.) colored landscapes with huge She clung to that blue-green Lincoln Town Car Weight 57.1 in. Towing weight 7000 lbs. EPA estimates pillars of rock reaching toward world of her birth, her huma- Curb weight 4418 lbs. Trunk space 20.8 cu. ft. 16 city/ 25 highway the sky. The dome of this world noid form, her experiences. t she painted violet, and placed She felt incomplete, as if a a pale white arc of rings over- major part of her life, of her very Yes, it's big, 225.1 inches big, in head. She tossed five orange existence, was missing. She fact. That number makes the 1993 moons into their orbital dance. could not conceal the pain she Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham the its large knobs and buttons make is also standard, but curiously, the smoothly enough and carries out Rachael filled the cosmos felt from her loss. All that she longest production car you can buy. you wonder why other manufactur- Fleetwood offers only drum brakes the duties of transferring the with alien constellations. She had, all that she was, existed At one point in time, say in the late ers insist on shrinking the size of in the rear. A car of this size needs engine's power to the rear wheels placed a binary star to heat her in that other realm, imaginary sixties, that was cause to boast their stereo switches when this way disc brakes at all four corners. with practiced ease, but in today's world. She added other planets or otherwise. Her parents, her because biggest also meant best. works so much better. At the rear of the car and under world of electronically-controlled to be its acquaintances. She friends, even those that But now it's the nineties — an The sparse digital gauges (only the license tag hides the fuel fill — automatics it seems a little sluggish created a galaxy to be its home, mocked her for her beliefs; all age where conspicuous consump- a speedometer and fuel gauge are a clear throwback to the days of and a bit crude. GM would do well and neighboring galaxies to be were part of her life. She was tion (of road space in this case) isn't present) can be easily seen through tailfins. Yes, it works well. But the to update the entire powertrain as its inhabitants' aspirations. not finished with her existence. always the best way to say "I've got the standard leather-wrapped steer- trunk, despite its cavernous propor- Lincoln has done with their town Her consciousness returned She was not ready to awaken money." ing wheel. Numerous warning lights tions, needs to have a lower liftover car. to the new world. The land she from her dream world, not It would be real easy to dismiss monitor the rest of the Fleetwood's — especially considering the By contrast, a sophisticated covered with a blanket of tur- ready to face reality. this new Cadillac as just another sophisticated systems. Enthusiasts advanced age of most Fleetwood standard Bosch traction control quoise vegetation, its huge She was not ready to aban- land yacht looking for a dock. But may yearn for a more complete customers. system works wonders in the snow leaves shading minuscule don Rachael Carter. to do so would be to miss the entire gauge package. On the open road, the Brougham and rain. This system closely resem- rodents as they foraged for Slowly, the scene faded. The point of this automobile and over- A standard issue GM multi- excels. Wind noise has been sub- bles the one used on Chevrolet's sustenance. Large mammals alien birth would have to wait. look all that is good with the functional turn signal/headlight stantially reduced and tire a*nd Corvette. When it senses one of the trampled the brush as they Rachael's consciousness Fleetwood.
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