THE RETRIEVER FEATURES October 11, 1994 PAGE 13 QuizShow Questions We Should Have Asked A Personal Perspective

reported that he boned up for each ER/allace Shugg show by leafing through books of Contributor general information to feed and ex- ercise his memory). And indeed, he U When Charles Van Doren rocketed did get married at about this time, B) fame and fortune on the TV quiz though not to a fan. fihow "Twenty-One" in the winter of The shock came nearly two years B356-57,1 was a doctoral student at later, when Charles told a Congres- , where he sional committee that he had been fed taught undergraduates in the college, the answers before each show. We {frequently saw his tall figure walk- watched Charles afterwards on TV, Jig the short path from Butler Library telling the reporters at length how he fij his classroom in Hamilton Hall. agonized over the decision to tell the "1 And on Sunday evenings I watched truth while driving aimlessly through with the rest of the nation as Charles, New England from town to town. isolated in a sound proof booth and Some of the public ate up this con- wearing head- ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ f e s - phones, an- m sional, swered the "Maybe we were too ready to but oth- string of ques- ers won- tions read to believe that a superior intellect d e r e d Kimi by the em- would naturally be morally su- cee, sometimes why it l^ith a frown perior, forgetting that a supe- took two ^nd a pretty rior intellect might also be years and a sub- fchow of being adept at finding reasons for do- photo by Kenji Szczerpanski / Retriever Staff stumped — p o e n a ing the wrong thing." from During UMBC's Arts in the Open last weekend, the Camerata choir performed as part of the ongoing festivities which 1'Can we come comprised an evening filled with culture and the performing arts. Held on the Fine Arts Hillside Saturday evening, it was one of the back to that Congress i many featured events during Family Day 1994. Question later, please?" And at the for him to come clean. Charles gave £nd he would come up with the right the excuse that he didn't wish to dis- Answer, followed by a boyish smile illusion the schoolchildren of Mystery, Fear, Laughs: bf relief, handkerchief pressed to his America during the post-Sputnik era brow. Egad, what suspense! of playing academic catch-up with i We graduate students had no rea- the Russians. It's All At The Creep son to doubt his integrity. After all, At Columbia University, the En- jvasn't he the son of , glish faculty called an emergency mthor of numerous books and now meeting and Charles lost his instruc- Festival learing the end of a long and distin- torship — despite some protests that guished teaching career at Columbia? his performance in the quiz show had From CREEP, Page 8 the Toxic Waste Man, and the Egyp- *Ve had heard about how Charles nothing to do with his teaching abili- tian Mummies, will have you laugh- sailed through the fearsome ordeal of ties. On the sixth floor of Philosophy ing so hard you might pee in your eryone to "get out before the spirit fhe doctor's qualifying oral exami- Hall, the picture of Charles disap- pants. reappears." The whole thing took nation, calmly answering his panel peared from its place of honor on about three minutes. A big disap- Other attractions include the pf interrogators with mini-lectures, Miss Nicolson's desk. In the West pointment. Kiddie Crypt for the littlest ones and fiven the superb Marjorie Hope End Cafe, on Broadway across from the Horror Movie Theatre that fea- the University, a French graduate stu- Out on the Monster Midway, Nicolson, chairman (she never com- tures a variety of all-time favorite dent from Dijon told me over a beer games for the little kids (and the big plained about that title) of the gradu- frightening flicks. that she and most of her countrymen kids at heart) include bungee running, ate English department and a difficult To add to the horror of it all, visi- either suspected or assumed all along velcro jumping, sumo wrestling, hu- person to fool, had a Times tors might also beware: one might run that the quiz show was fixed. Hear- man bowling, "Creepy-oke", fortune program ad taped to the front of her into Jason from Friday the 13th (ac- ing this, I felt a little foolish, like a tellers and "Dunk the Dead Guy." {lesk that showed a photo of Charles tor Kane Hodder), Linda Blair from fcmiling underneath a large caption: character in a Henry James novel, the The game not to miss is "Dunk the The Exorcist or Gunnar Hansen a.k.a. ''Charles Knows Everything!" naive American in the presence of a Dead Guy." Although this is not for "Leatherface" from The Texas ! He was America's hero of the mo- sophisticated European. the easily embarrassed, the dead guy Chainsaw Massacre. ment. Fan letters poured in, with Clearly, we should have been more will "cut down" the best of 'em. From The Festival hours are Sunday some marriage proposals. It even skeptical about Charles, if not as asking the guys if they teach their became fashionable for some school- cynical as the Europeans seemed to sons how to play with dolls, to mak- through Thursday, 7-11 p.m., and children to hit the books in order "to be. Maybe we were too ready to be- ing fun of the way you throw the Friday and Saturday 7-12 midnight. become like Charles." He reigned on lieve that a superior intellect would balls, he will undoubtedly keep you Admission for adults is $12.50 and {he quiz show for several months naturally be morally superior, forget- in stitches. includes parking and featured attrac- Until dethroned — if I remember cor- ting that a superior intellect might photo by George Rousis / Retriever Staff The haunted hayride, a spooky tions. Kids under 5 are free. rectly — by a redheaded lawyer from also be adept at finding reasons for Concentrating on his next move, this UMBC chess player takes journey through the homes of mon- Well, for the fright of your life, Brooklyn named Vivian Wax Nearing. doing the wrong thing. part in the chess tournament in which Bella Belegradek beat sters and ghouls (which only takes iook somewhere else. But, if you * Charles professed great relief that Morally speaking, Charles turned defending champion Ishan Weerakoon to become the 1994-95 you in a circle around the field) was have money to waste and need some- Jt was over at last (newspapers had out to be better than the rest of us. UMBC Chess Champion. pretty good. Scary scenes, including thing to do, try the Creep Festival. Life on the Not So Comfortable TVack From VIETNAM, Page 11 I do not claim that Hanoi has cured When I do become especially agi- me of all my ills. I still, in fact, be- tated at a situation, I try to remember Third World society. I can still pic- come annoyed at slow traffic some- the Vietnamese people and how hard ture the street that night, like an out- times, and there are still nights when they have to work all day long some- door Kmart, with all the vendors and my bed feels stiff as a board. How- times for just one meal. their children winding down from ever, since my visit to Hanoi, my frus- I believe that most Americans could just another day. Every evening that trations have definitely eased up. Now, benefit from a visit to Hanoi. We all I spend with my family, watching I can appreciate that special movie that have felt at one time or another that television together in the comfort of is on instead of my favorite show, and our problems are worse than anyone our living room, I remember how the the cap off the toothpaste dilemma has else's. The next time that feeling over- people in Hanoi spend their evenings. pretty much escaped me. comes you, think of Hanoi.

photo by Kyu Lee / Retriever Staff In it's last performance of the 1994 season, Shakespeare on Wheels performs Hamlet during Family Day's Arts in the Open.