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9-10-2009
Kenyon Collegian - September 10, 2009
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This Book is brought to you for free and open access by the College Archives at Digital Kenyon: Research, Scholarship, and Creative Exchange. It has been accepted for inclusion in The Kenyon Collegian by an authorized administrator of Digital Kenyon: Research, Scholarship, and Creative Exchange. For more information, please contact [email protected]. Established 1856 Volume CXXXVII, Number 3 www.kenyoncollegian.com The Kenyon Collegian Gambier, Ohio Thursday, September 10, 2009 8 Pages Student Injured in Car Accident Thefts Cost Bookstore $39,000 By Lindsay Means all over central Ohio ... [that thieves News Editor would] probably be able to sell some- where else,” Kohlman said. Remains in Intensive Care Unit More than $39,000 in textbooks “We’ve done several counts of By SARAH queller was stolen from the Kenyon Book- the books, but we’re still finalizing Editor-in-Chief store in approximately a week at the the exact figure,” Kohlman said. beginning of August, according to Bookstore employees were waiting Kenyon sophomore Joshua Chief Business Officer Mark Kohl- until students had finished buying Stiles, 19, of Chelsea, Mich., was man. College officials and Bookstore their textbooks before making a final struck by a car on Ohio 229 at employees are still finalizing the ex- estimate of the goods stolen. approximately 7:40 p.m. Sunday, act value of the stolen textbooks and According to President S. Geor- Sep. 6. Stiles was taken by ambu- working in col- gia Nugent, “there lance to Knox County Hospital laboration with were not signs of and then airlifted to The Ohio t h e S h e r i f f ’s Authorities are unsure a break-in,” and State University Medical Cen- office, which is of how the crime was authorities are ter in Columbus, according to mana g ing the unsure of how Trooper Todd Carpenter. Stiles investig ation, accomplished. the crime was ac- is currently in the Intensive Care a c c o r d i n g t o complished. Unit, according to Dean of Stu- Kohlman. “We don’t really know how it dents Henry Toutain, who said Before fall 2007, textbooks were happened,” Kohlman said. “We sus- Emergency Medical Services located in the Bookstore’s basement pect that it’s a group of professionals from Gambier and Mount Ver- Textbook Department. “There were who know what they’re looking for non, along with student firefight- pretty elaborate security procedures and go in and out as quickly as they ers, “responded immediately.” [there],” Nugent said. These included can.” Stiles was hit by David Ran- a coat and bag check at the door and Nugent added that the College dall of Mount Vernon. Accord- Students have signed a public get-well card for Stiles. Wesley Keyser limited hours. Although the new does not know whether the theft ing to the Mount Vernon News, organization — selling textbooks up- occurred at one time or over several Randall was traveling westbound the road facing west, according to ship Fire Department, said the stairs with the rest of the Bookstore incidents. “[The investigation] is when he hit Stiles, who broke his Carpenter. “Mr. Stiles was lying department abides by doctors’ merchandise — may have increased ongoing, but as far as I know we don’t windshield (“Kenyon Student Se- in front of the car with his face medical regulations and thus convenience, its security may have have any information yet,” she said. riously Injured,” Sep. 8, 2009). to the south,” he said. could not comment on the ac- been compromised. The thefts provoked radical “We believe [Stiles] jumped “The EMTs were there be- cident. “I can’t tell you anything The thieves focused on “high changes in the Bookstore’s security onto another car before this over fore me,” Carpenter said. “They about the run,” he said. volume, high-priced books, like measures, according to Kohlman. on Porter Road,” Carpenter said, were working on him. … He was economics textbooks, that are used see bookstore, page 3 adding that the incident is cur- injured pretty severely.” Drug involvement rently under investigation. “In looking back at the events Spammers Hijack KFS Account Mount Vernon News reported from Sunday, [the Office of Cam- “Drugs were involved,” said that Ohio 229 was closed “for pus Safety was] an instrumental Carpenter, who added that the By August steigmeyer to “blacklist Kenyon,” Griggs said, nearly two hours while troopers tool in getting Josh the help he investigation has included inter- News Editor “so even legitimate mail would get investigated the crash.” needed,” members of Stiles’ fam- views with Stiles’ friends, who blocked. ily, Greg Rebuldela ’12 and Chris- allegedly were doing drugs with Spammers used the Kenyon “We started contacting the Responding to the accident tian Martinez-Canchola ’12 said him. “Mr. Stiles got away from Film Society (KFS) Webmail ac- e-mail service providers saying that in a statement. “People left their them and wandered off and this count to send out about 100,000 we had this situation, [but] it’s now Carpenter said he was the homes that night trying to make was the result,” he said. spam messages on Monday, Aug. resolved,” Griggs said. “The first ones first officer on the scene, but that sense of what was going on and Director of Campus Safety 30. “We identified it and we deac- were the big ones, Gmail and Yahoo, the emergency squad had arrived for that, Josh is still alive.” Bob Hooper confirmed that tivated the account and changed because a lot of mail goes to those before he had. The car that hit Jack Robling ’10, the student drugs were involved in the acci- the password,” Vice President for two and so we were able to get that Stiles was on the north side of in charge at the College Town- see accident page 2 Library and Information Services resolved pretty quickly. Sometimes Ron Griggs said. “Then we had to it can take 24 to 48 hours for e-mail delete 60,000 messages in queue and providers to take Kenyon off that Library Improves Student Space that [took] some time.” blacklist. It was not until Wednes- “We’re trying to rearrange the work. “Some students really liked [the “Someone on our staff must day that we saw no messages being By August steigmeyer components of the library so that table] so we’re looking at other types have replied to a spam e-mail,” said rejected from Kenyon.” News Editor there’s more student study space,” of furniture that students might like,” Miles Purinton ’12, president of “I guess helpline could tell there Library staff planning changes Griggs said. Griggs said. KFS. were thousands and thousands of to Olin Library aim to make the “It’s not confusing to students During finals week last semester, “The way it was explained to e-mails going out from what looked building “more amenable to student now that there aren’t two periodi- the library became very crowded and me was that someone hacked into like our e-mail. I didn’t know there work,” according to Vice President cal sections to look through, now noisy, and staff was working to allevi- the account and created a bunch of was a problem until it wouldn’t let for Library and Information Services students can just go to one loca- ate this problem, according to Griggs. fake profiles, so when people got the me access the account, at which Ron Griggs. tion,” said Librarian and Technology “One thing we heard from students e-mail it looked like someone the point I found out I was hacked,” “Kenyon doesn’t have a student Consultant Julia Glynne Warga ’96. last year is that we need better designa- recipients knew when it was really Purinton said. “Helpline tried to union, and in many ways, the library Over the summer, the scientific peri- tion of what areas of the library need the hacker.” figure out how it happened. They’re ser ves many odical section was to be quiet and which parts need to be The spam messages had two still not sure. I didn’t respond to of those func- LBIS is making moved from the noisy,” Griggs said. “We’re working on effects on Webmail accounts. The any messages that looked like spam, tions,” Griggs third floor to the making the third floor a much more spam filled the e-mail queue, delay- so they think it was just a leaky said. “Students changes to “improve basement and quiet area and looking at what other ing other outgoing Kenyon e-mails. password.” do a lot of work placed on com- areas can be a little bit noisier.” Library The large outflow of spam from Ke- “We don’t know by what pro- in the library, so the environment.” pact shelving with staff is drafting a noise policy to be nyon also led other e-mail providers cess they got the password,” Griggs we are making the rest of the pe- presented to Student Council. The see spam, page 3 changes to improve the environment. riodicals. This move creates space on library wants the policy to be “livable We worked really hard on getting the the third floor that will be used for for students. If you make a policy that In this issue right kind of furniture. Some students student seating. everybody hates, then nobody will prefer comfortable chairs to study, Last year the library tried out obey it,” Griggs said. Schermer: Citizen of the Year page 4 some prefer tables, others prefer car- some new furniture, including eight- Before last year the library did rels where they can really focus, and person tables with a revolving white- not have a clear policy regarding Food Face-Off page 7 we’re trying to get the right mix.” board in the center for group study see library, page 2 News The Kenyon Collegian Thursday, September 17, 2009 Thursday, September 17, 2009 The Kenyon Collegian News Student Council AVI Updates Management, Menu Sep. 13, 2009
• At their first meeting of the year, Campus Senate members discussed ways to communicate effectively with the student body regarding the party policy, student judicial facilities, on-campus housing and the role of athletics at the College. • Student Council expressed its wish for students to understand that the College’s Good Samaritan Policy applies to situations involving drugs as well as alcohol. • Student Council discussed the new statue in the entryway to Peirce Hall. This statue was a gift from an alumnus of the College and will move to the new art building once it is complete. • All standing Student Council committees have been Students serve themselves salad. Ville lampi accepting letters of intent to join the Council. Council approved By Rowana Abbensetts but I feel like the options are kind Staff Writer of limited sometimes,” she said. many new members, but some committees, including Student Life Remillard said the AVI staff is G r e e k s : and Academic Affairs, will continue accepting letters of intent for AVI Food Systems, Kenyon’s working towards providing more dining service provider, has institut- food options for the student body. an additional week. ed a variety of changes to improve “We want to get more creative,” Post-Gocial efficiency and food quality just in he said. “Pizza every day can get • In an attempt to create a stronger connection with the time for the new term, according a little mundane.” The old Mon- From page 1 student body, Student Council is considering holding a monthly to AVI staff. golian station has been renamed “One thing the student body the International Station, and the Greek Constitution, including lunch in Peirce, providing a comment box and creating a poster has to understand is that we’ve only Vegetarian and Vegan section has its judiciary process, according with pictures of Student Council members. done this for a couple of weeks,” been expanded. The pasta section to Burton. “We have virtually no said Resident Director of AVI has become the “Fusion Section.” disciplinary control over our own • Student Council members discussed the nearly $40,000 Foodsystems Damon Remillard, Pasta is still usually served there, members, forcing us to turn to the who comes from a restaurant back- but occasionally there are new administration in most, if not all, worth of textbooks stolen from the Campus Bookstore since the ground in Chicago. The AVI staff dishes. cases,” Burton said. “This, in my academic year began. They recommended installing a security has been learning new ways to cook AVI’s changes do not end opinion, severely weakens us as an and Remillard in the servery. effective governing body. If Greek device to discourage theft. said he has seen “We have made Council could gain the means to • Greek Council passed a constitution last year but is still great progress big changes in more adequately administer its own in only a short “We want to get the dish-return members, I believe it would not only working on writing its bylaws. time. “If this is more creative. area,” Remillard improve the image of Greek Council • The Housing and Dining Committee discussed future plans where we’re at said. Last year, to its members, but to the adminis- after two weeks, Pizza every day the dish-return tration as well.” for the Morgan Apartments. It will decide which students will be imagine what it’s can get a little system was per- According to Toutain, Gocial’s going to be like petually clogged investigations into pledge violations able to live there in future years. mundane.” in two months,” with as many as are not continuing, but some issues • Sophomore Council will soon submit a proposal to improve he said. fourteen carts from last year remain. “Dean Gocial The kitchen - Damon Remillard full of dishes, he took some action [in punishing a Gund lighting. staff has un- said. This year fraternity] prior to leaving, and the • Nominations for Judicial Board will close on Friday, Sep. 18. dergone many the sorting of fraternity appealed her decision to changes. “We have a whole entire silverware and cups has made the me,” Toutain said. “I’ve been having —Marika Garland new chef team,” Remillard said. system much more efficient. “I extensive conversations since July Bryan Robinson, the new senior truly believe that we’ve achieved with members of [the] fraternity executive head chef, has experience [greater efficiency] except for and their alums … to work out some working with the food facilities maybe one period in the night,” understandings that would allow owned by Limited Brands. Ex- Remillard said. that group to be more successful in Greek Council ecutive Chef Megan Cappell has Last year’s smaller and less the future.” Sep. 14, 2009 private catering experience and has efficient coffee machines have Toutain said he hopes to focus worked with the PF Chang’s res- also been replaced. The condi- on communication with both the taurant chain. Jacob Owen, head of ments and water have been placed Greek community and the greater • Council elected Phil DiGiacomo as VP for Rush and Public AVI’s local food movement, also has inside the dining halls to prevent Kenyon student body. “If the exist- Relations and Chelsea Farco as VP for Internal Affairs. experience with Limited Brands. the long lines that plagued the ing means of communication aren’t • Council planned Greek Week, which includes making banners The new chefs are “all very servery in past years, according to effective, then how do we find other nice and they’re getting a bit more Remillard. ones?” he said. “I hope to talk to Stu- News and a pie-eating contest. Greek Week was postponed to Oct. 19. creative with the food choices,” said Remillard said he encourages dent Council about whether their [email protected] • The Day of Service is planned for Oct. 24. Joshua Samuels ’12. “I think the students who are still dissatisfied intention is to be representatives, • Greek Organizations were reminded to have a security liaison most important thing is efficiency. with AVI to let him know through [and] how does that happen if they at parties. It was reported that all parties have gone well this I think that they are really making the comment cards available at the are hearing from a very small num- strides with the different lines and AVI Web site. “When a signifi- ber of constituents?” He said there semester. new plates that are lighter. But col- cant number of students feel the may be a core group for a forum, Opinions • Council needs to review Greek Constitution and Judiciary. lege food will be college food. You same way, we make the changes,” but rather than simply announcing • Meagan Webb announced Greek student leader meetings at can’t expect it to be your mother’s he said. a forum and having a conversation [email protected] Olin Library. Attendance is required for organizations that want cooking.” “It all depends on how picky among the people who respond to Alyssa Riggins ’13 said that or not picky [you are],” Samuels that invitation, he wants to pre-as- BFC funding. when she visited colleges last year, said. “I embrace change, so bring semble a group. “That might allow • Fall rush and pledge planning was discussed because the new “I did not think that Kenyon’s food on the spicier meat. Bring on the for a critical mass of voices,” he said, Sports Constitution has no parameters. was that outstanding or memorable, softer noodles and the sweeter des- “and, again, maybe representative but it definitely wasn’t the worst. So serts. One thing that I want AVI and diverse voices to begin the con- [email protected] —Lindsay Means far I have enjoyed it, and I can find to keep in the back of their minds versation, and to that group might things that I want to eat in there, is not to be afraid of flavor.” be added [other students].” News The Kenyon Collegian Thursday, September 17, 2009 Thursday, September 17, 2009 The Kenyon Collegian News MiddleGround Resumes Arts: Relocation to Unify Department Regular Serving Schedule By emily Grenen Kenyon students. Staff Writer “MiddleGround is a great place to meet up with friends MiddleGround has returned and study,” Adrian Natale ’13 to serving food on its regular said. “It is just constantly packed school-year schedule, after being with students, professors and temporarily forced to remain on other residents of Gambier. As a its summer schedule into the first student, however, MiddleGround two weeks of the academic year. is particularly crucial for those Until last Friday, Sep. 11, the café times when Peirce gets a little closed its kitchen at 4:00 p.m. and bit tiring. MiddleGround is very served only drinks, baked goods much a part of the Kenyon cam- and soups. pus, and … students would really The reduction of regular be affected by the reduced hours. food-serving hours resulted from I am really relieved to hear that an understaffing problem that left it will be back on the normal the café unable to follow the usual schedule.” schedule (“MiddleGround Cuts “The decrease in hours of Dinner Hours,” Sep. 9, 2009). operation would have made Mid- Bexley Hall was deemed an inadequate home for the art department. file photo According to MiddleGround dleGround much less accessible owner Joel Gunderson, the prob- to students,” Anna Wilhelm ’13 they are looking forward to fully building, but it’s really not an lem has been resolved. “We’ve said. “Since it’s just my first year, From page 1 furnished buildings. effective art facility in many ways. got three more people coming on I wouldn’t have even had time to scheduling conflicts. “The new building will offer It has very old plumbing and the and we’re going to have enough get addicted.” Art history major Sara Nash a lot of opportunities in terms of classrooms can feel cramped.” bodies to make it work,” he said. Anna Krause ’12 said that ’11 works for the art history updating the technology,” Nash Nash added that Bailey “People are stepping up and tak- she rarely ate at the café but still department in the slide library, said. The slide library is currently House is “freezing all winter.” ing more hours. … I’m lucky. I noticed the effects of the time which is currently located on the working to digitize its system so In the construction of the new got [an employee] from [out of ] change. “I really only come here lower level of the library. “Art that professors will be able to access buildings, issues of safety, lighting the blue that worked out really, occasionally for coffee, so the history is based around slide all of the slides electronically. Nash and ventilation are being taken really, well.” schedule change didn’t affect me presentations, said that if the into consideration. Some students expressed very much. But it was sort of de- and there are a slide library is Although construction on concerns over the initial schedule pressing coming in after just 4:00 lot of technical relocated to the the studio art building is currently change. Gunderson said that he and nobody was around, because i s s u e s w i t h “I hope the new new building , “on pause,” art students can look was surprised by the response. it’s usually such an active part of Bailey House,” buildings will give the professors who forward to a time that they will be “It’s a small town and change is campus,” she said. w h e r e a r t Kenyon art and art still prefer the able to reap the benefits of a more not taken that well,” he said. Ian Ross ’08 said the short- history classes old-fashioned central location. “Bexley is kind Gunderson said the change ened dining schedule posed a are currently history departments m e t h o d of isolated, and a lot of people was entirely out of necessity. particular problem for him and held, she said. more attention in the o f m a n u a l would like to have their friends “This was a change that wasn’t many of the other students who Having the slide eyes of new students.” s l i d e s h o w s who don’t take art classes get a intended. We were in a shortage remained on campus during the library and the will be able to chance to appreciate their work,” and playing the hand that was summer months. “With Peirce c l a s s r o o m s c o n v e n i e n t l y Rotilie said. dealt us,” he said. not always being open, there was i n s e p a r a t e - Emma Rotilie c o m p i l e a n d “Art students do a lot of “There just aren’t that many really no place to go, and cook- b u i l d i n g s d e l i v e r t h e i r collaboration with theater dining options other than the ing was difficult in many of the c a n c r e a t e presentations and dance, and faculty often [Village Inn] and Peirce, espe- houses because we didn’t even complications for professors as under the same roof. collaborate as well, so I think that cially for those who can’t get have silverware,” said Ross, who they compile their presentations, Studio art major Emma will all be enhanced by the new into Mount Vernon, which re- said he was relieved to hear that according to Nash. Rotilie ’10 said, “I hope the new location,” Hackbardt said. ally doesn’t have much more to the summer closing time will not Both the studio art and art buildings will give the Kenyon The art history gallery offer, anyway,” Jenny Posnak ’12 be a permanent fixture. history departments have been art and art history departments building is scheduled to be said. Posnak said she often comes MiddleGround is now operat- housed for decades in buildings more attention in the eyes of completed in 18 to 24 months. to MiddleGround because she ing on its regular schedule. The that were not originally designed new students, just as Storer Hall Construction has not yet begun on believes that the café offers the café closes at midnight on Sunday to serve their particular purposes. [completed in 1999] did for the the studio art building, but space perfect studying atmosphere, through Thursdsay and 10:00 p.m. With the new buildings underway, music department.” She said has been cleared south of Sunset which makes it popular among on Friday and Saturday. students and faculty alike said Bexley Hall is “such a lovely old Cottage. Interested in joining the Collegian staff ? We are looking for experienced student journalists and enthusiastic newcomers. Get in touch with us and get involved! News Features Copy Editing [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] Opinions Arts and Entertainment Design [email protected] [email protected] print: [email protected] web: [email protected] Sports Photography Illustration [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] [email protected]
Not sure who to contact? E-mail our editors-in-chief: [email protected] or [email protected] Features The Kenyon Collegian Thursday, September 10, 2009 Thursday, September 10, 2009 The Kenyon Collegian Features Schermer Wins Citizen of the Year parade, the Village Council asks has,” Gomez said. “Dr. Schermer several years ago. He is the first mal and it made me uncomfortable. By Richard wylde for nominations from Council had a great devotion to his family, Citizen of the Year to not be a … I kind of felt that he was on his Features Editor members and anyone in the Village community and Kenyon sports resident of Gambier. way out of the College” (“Dr. Tracy Seven months after retiring of Gambier. The Village Admin- teams.” The Gambier Community Schermer Retires,” Jan. 22, 2009). from his position as College physi- istration then discusses nominees In the Fourth of July parade, Center, located on Meadow Lane There are, of course, many cian, Dr. Tracy Schermer received before Emmert makes the final local children and farmers on behind the KAC, testimonials to the Gambier Citizen of the Year decision. tractors make a small loop from has a plaque with the contrar y, award on July 4. According to “It’s not a formal committee,” the Campus Fuel gas station to the award’s re- “I have never known especially from Professor of Political Science and Emmert said. “It’s an informal Farr Hall and continue to the post cipients for the those who have Mayor of Gambier Kirk Emmert, process.” office. A mime camp located at past 25 years. anyone that would known Scherm- Schermer is notoriously humble The Village administration Kenyon over the summer also usu- Last year, the er f or many and was “surprised and thrilled” to consists of Emmert, the Clerk ally marches, and the Poet Laure- Gambier Fire pour his heart and years. receive the award. Treasurer, the Village Administra- ate for the Village of Gambier is Department col- “[His im- S c h e r m e r tor and the Tax announced. This year the Citizen lectively received soul into the com- p a c t o n th e said he was, “so Administrator. of the Year award was announced the Citizen of the community is] humbled by the “He has been a Schermer by Charles Rice, a retired Kenyon Year award and munity … as Doc priceless. There recognition,” but retired last win- professor and retired member of in 2007 it was will never ever declined to com- tenacious force in ter after serving the College Township Fire Depart- awarded to Pro- has.” be another Dr. ment further. the College for ment who has known Schermer fessor of History - Duane Gomez Schermer. We “The most modernizing the 28 years. While since he began at Kenyon. Will Scott for were all so for- important crite- most students “I was, for many years, the his work in restoring the Quarry tunate and lucky to have him in our ria [for Gambier emergency medi- knew him only leader of the College Township Fire Chapel. lives, and we didn’t even know it,” Citizen of the as the doctor Department emergency squad,” While there is high praise for Gomez said. Year] is service cal and fire depart- at the Health Rice said. “[Schermer] approached Schermer among community mem- “That he might move or work to the Village be- Center, many me to volunteer his assistance bers, the reasons for his retirement somewhere else definitely fac- yond their regu- ments throughout employees of almost as soon as he [was hired at are still unclear. tored into the decision [to honor lar job,” Emmert t h e C o l l e g e the Health Center]. He has not “It’s almost always true when Schermer as Citizen of the Year],” said. “It’s usually the county.” and community ceased to provide his professional people were let go that the em- Emmert said. “We wanted to catch some kind of members know service to the department and the ployer doesn’t say they were fired,” him while he was still here, at the volunteer work - Charles Rice him as going people of the community. … I can Emmert said. “They want to ease end of his many years of accom- or work that is above and be- vouch for the fact that he saved the employees out under the most plishments.” extraordinary and beyond what yond the call of duty. lives of students and local citizens favorable circumstances. … I don’t In an address originally pub- would be required. [The award “[Schermer] was well deserv- by responding day and night with know for sure [if he was forced to lished in the Mount Vernon News, is] not just for people doing their ing,” Head Cross Country and the emergency squad. retire], but a lot of people think Rice spoke of Schermer’s contribu- job.” Track and Field Coach Duane “He has also been a tenacious he was.” tions to Gambier: “He continues The award, in the form of a Gomez said in an e-mail. Gomez force in modernizing the emer- There were both positive and to apply his special skills to treat plaque, is presented annually at said Schermer has been a great asset gency medical and fire depart- negative reactions from students seriously ill and injured villagers Gambier’s Fourth of July Parade to the community as well as to the ments throughout the county,” when Schermer’s retirement was and students, often before the as a surprise to the recipient. Only Kenyon Cross Country andTrack Rice added. announced. ambulance appears. … He is that a few members of the community teams. Schermer lived in what is now When Schermer retired last rarest of physicians who will make and Village administration know “I have never known anyone home to the Hoehn-Saric House, winter Tess Hardcastle ’10 said: “I a house call to save your life and the winner beforehand. that would pour his heart and Office of International Education, felt that there were times when he [spray] water to save your house. He Several months before the soul into the community … as Doc until he moved to a nearby farm pushed the limits of what was nor- is Tracy W. Schermer, M.D.”
Ed Welke Sara Hirsch ’10 Claire Cameron ’11 Lewis Hyde Students Ian Curtis ’12 Professor of Creative Writing AVI Employee Fac/Staff Totals so far: Gambier Students: 8 Grillin’ Faculty: 6 Vs
In what profession is Dance Pornography Dance Never heard of her. Dance/ Twyla Tharp famous? choreography What is the smallest country in mainland Swaziland Djibouti Liberia Kenya Gambia Africa? Who was the original You should have asked drummer for the Ringo me when I was in third Dunno. Ringo Pete Best Beatles? grade. What has been the most popular show on Malcolm in the Middle Walker, Texas Ranger The Sopranos Archie Bunker American Idol television since 2004? What country has won the most World Cup Brazil Brazil Spain Australia Brazil Championships? Total Correct Two One One Zero By Susannah Gruder Arts The Kenyon Collegian Thursday, September 10, 2009 Thursday, September 10, 2009 The Kenyon Collegian Arts Chinese Stars Ensure Prof ’s Pods: Academics’ Anthems Punk Remains Dead Faculty Members Tell Us What Songs They Listen to Most by James Dennin walked into a Strand bookstore by Charlie Schneider his tastes as a listener. He said about “Chelsea Hotel No. 2” and “Hal- Staff Writer and boldly declared that the famous Staff Writer hip-hop, for example: “Since I’m a lelujah” by Leonard Cohen, from photograph of soldiers hoisting the playwright, I do think a lot about New Skin for the Old Ceremo- The Arts & Entertainment American flag atI wo Jima reminded We all know that our professors the rhythm of the words, and how ny (1974) and Various Positions Section’s facination with reviewing him of trying to have sex after too are people, but that’s easy to forget they come out of the actor’s mouth. (1984), respectively any promotional record it recieves much cocaine. The band clearly inside of the classroom. No matter So in that way, it informs my writing. continues this week with a new album tries to channel its provocative lead how funny, smart or boring they are, And in the screenplays I work on, I “For my money, [Leonard Co- from the Skyscraper Records label. singer’s energy, and though this cre- we still slip into the illusion that they put a lot of rap music in there.” With hen] is the best lyricist out there. ates more chaos than it does music, exist solely for our education. They that in mind, here, in no specific or- Seeing him in Chicago was the best The track listing for the second it cannot be condemned as boring. are people, how- live experience I’ve song of The Chinese Stars’ new The group hails from Providence, ever, and they have ever seen — play, album reads “No Car No Job” on R.I., the home of Brown University, their own peculiar concert, whatever. iTunes — a sharp change from its and its spirit is clearly suited to the interests outside of It was like a reli- listing on the band’s press Web Site, town’s Ivy League counterculture. teaching (we hope). gious experience. which reads “No Car No Blowjob.” The best song on the album is Wouldn’t it be fun Those two songs Such is the juvenile spirit that per- probably “Body,” which makes better to know a little of — I just think the vades the band’s debut album, which use of the band’s experimentation by their tastes and get lyrics are perfect. tries (and fails) to mimic both the building on itself in crescendo. The an insight into their It’s true poetry, set sound and the playful dirtiness of opening melody, played on a synth, own personal his- to music. Leonard better punk bands like Louis XIV. is strangely tuneful, and ingratiates tories? Cohen obsesses The album’s opener, “Rabbit itself through playful, unexpected Visiting As- over every word, Face,” sets the tone for the entire turns. In playing with volume rather sistant Professor of which is something album. The song is grounded in than overwhelming you with it, on Drama Ben Viccel- I identify with. And shrill, over-fuzzed guitars and a this track, the Chinese Stars make a lio ’98 is a perfect those songs are just vocalist who screams a lot more more noticeable artistic leap from candidate for my so perfectly crafted. than he sings. The music centers garage band to experimental punk investigation. He Rufus Wainwright on guitar licks and electronic loops rock. seems like a nice does a great version rather than a coherent melody, and Overall, however, the band enough guy, and of both of these the entire thing is punctuated by becomes cacophonous in its desire early reports about songs, but I have a thumping rhythm section. The to be experimental. Unlike success- his screenwriting a soft spot for the lyrics, though decent, are indeci- ful experimental artists like Neutral class range from Charlie Schneider originals.” pherable because the singer is under- Milk Hotel and Animal Collective, “great” to “really Visiting Assistant Professor of Drama Ben Viccellio. dubbed, and when coupled with the which used “noise” to accentuate great.” Currently, he is working on der, are the top five songs he’s picked “Reunited” by Wu-Tang Clan, song’s repetitiveness, this brings to their melodies, The Chinese Stars both a comedy screenplay and a from his iPod. from Wu-Tang Forever (1997) mind an under-produced garage use noise to try to cover up the fact play for the stage called Dead Letter band track. that the melodies aren’t really there. Office, which will premiere in down- “Not Dark Yet” by Bob Dylan, “The first song [‘Reunited’] “Slow Children” continues in a In addition, the bawdy lyrics are not town Chicago next summer. But from Time Out of Mind (1997) just launches you right in and I vein similar to the rest of the album deep or surreal enough to form a co- what’s he like? A top-five list, despite think it’s one of the best ever made. — repeated descending scales which, herent statement. The Chinese Stars its arbitrariness, is a great shorthand “I was always a huge Dylan fan. The thing that’s incredible about though played in rapid succession, have no Web Site, just a MySpace way to get to know someone. During the ’80s he kinda started their songs is that a lot of them are are unable to create an effective lick that lists the band’s tour dates and a Viccellio said: “You’ll see from to drop off and then that was his over five minutes long, which for and call to mind an ’80s hair metal two-word biography (one of which my list that I’m something of a comeback album. A lot of it seemed that point hip-hop songs were like, solo. The songs, by and large, all use is unprintable; the other is “you”). sentimental bastard. A lot of the to pick up right where he left off, you two-and-a-half, three minutes. The the same structure, looping atonal The effect created is ultimately simi- songs I associate with very specific know? And that song, to me, is just RZA was the producer, and the way tracks over fuzzed guitars. lar to that of those four stoners who moments in my life. I’m a big lyric so beautiful and haunting. There’s he orchestrates that album is just The band is fronted by singer sat in the back of your high school guy. I’ve noticed I tend to choose this one particular lyric in it that I incredible, especially the way he Eric Paul, who, according to the chemistry class — juvenile, profane lyrics over music.” He said that it is have outright stolen so many times started using string samples. And band’s press release for the album, and loud. very likely that writing has informed for my own writing [laughs]: ‘Be- actually, there are probably better hind every beautiful thing / There’s songs on the album, like the song been some kind of pain.’ That song, ‘Triumph’ where there’s no hook KFS Preview I can just listen to that song over and and they go and go for like six min- over and over. His writing is just so utes, but that song [‘Reunited’] just CLASSIC COMEDY WEEK incredible.” launches the album perfectly. It was like a breath of fresh air for those Friday, Sep. 11 — Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb “Microphone Techniques” by 3rd of us who didn’t like the whole Bass, from Derelicts of Dialect Puffy scene.” Dr. Strangelove is widely considered one of the best films ever made and certainly one of the best comedies (1991) ever made. This brilliant satirization of the Cold War, directed by Stanley Kubrick, has been inducted into the “Pancho and Lefty” by WillieN el- Library of Congress for its historical and cultural significance, and the American Film Institute lists it as the “I’m a big hip-hop head; I listen son and Merle Haggard, from the third best comedy ever made. Making the film especially significant is late comedy great Peter Sellers in three to hip-hop a lot, and I have since I eponymous album (1983) different, brilliant performances.I n a recent poll of the hundred top names in Hollywood, Dr. Strangelove was was like ten years old. Problem is, hip- the most common response to the question, “What is one film that every person should see at least once?” As hop today is just terrible (with the “That is a sentimental favorite if all these accolades weren’t enough, it was nominated for four Academy Awards, including Best Picture. What exception of a few groups), so I barely of mine because I grew up in the Air more could you ask for? find anything to listen to anymore. Force and we used to move around But back in my early days — ’91 or a lot. My dad was a big country ’92, a great time for hip-hop — there music fan — we would listen to Saturday, Sep. 12 — Airplane! was a group called 3rd Bass, and they Tanya Tucker and Juice Newton and had a sound like De La Soul or A Kenny Rogers, and I learned to love No classic comedy week would be complete without Airplane!, which arguably is the first film ever to Tribe Called Quest, and they were them all, but for some reason, that parody other films. The story of an ex-fighter pilot winning back his girlfriend and trying to land a plane in the as good if not better than those two. song always stuck with me. I always middle of a bout of food poisoning is solid, but what really makes this movie are the random outbursts. Most It wasn’t just about ridiculous hooks wanted to hear it over and over and notable among these are Leslie Nielsen’s now famous remark, “I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley!” Kareem like Puffy made it all about. They over again while we were driving to Abdul-Jabbar also makes a cameo. This film is the epitome of classic comedy and can almost assuredly be found are so good lyrically, especially MC the next base, and you know, it’d be a on any list of best comedies ever made — and for good reason. Serch. This song, to me, represents three-day drive. That song,I just find everything that is wonderful about it sad and beautiful. … It has kind of So come join us at the Kenyon Athletic Center Theater at 7:30 p.m. this Friday and Saturday to view these this group; it’s funny, it’s raunchy, it’s the same effect on me that N‘ ot Dark wonderful films. Screenings are open to anyone and — as always — are completely free. got an amazing sample. It was kind of Yet’ has. Haunting. Maybe I’m just an anthem for the summer of ’92 for a depressed guy — though I don’t —Miles Purinton me and my friends.” think so.” Opinions The Kenyon Collegian Thursday, September 10, 2009 Thursday, September 10, 2009 The Kenyon Collegian Opinions As H1N1 Hits Home, A Debate At Bookstore, The Kenyon Share Texts, Collegian on the Ethics of Vaccination Don’t Steal review article, there were more than 500 swine flu as a national emergency could Two weeks of classes have cases of Guillain-Barre syndrome and 25 have the same effect. passed. For those of you taking deaths associated with the 1976 vaccine. It is not much of a stretch to imagine an introductory science, math or Editors-in-Chief That is more deaths than were caused by government officials using the swine flu economics class, how often have you Sarah Friedman the swine flu itself. Needless to say, the vac- scare as a means to usurp more powers cracked open your big, heavy, expensive Sarah Queller cination program was quickly halted. from the citizenry. As H.L. Mencken textbook? How many hours have you More than 30 years have passed famously remarked, “The whole aim of spent reading through it, answering Managing Editor since that event. We hope that scientists practical politics is to keep the populace the review questions in the back of Mara Pottersmith and policymakers have realized their mis- alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led the book, following links to suggested takes and everything will go smoothly this to safety) by menacing it with an endless Web sites? If you’re like most Kenyon Lead Copy Editor by tyler stearns Irene Wilburn time around. It is not clear that this is the series of hobgoblins, all of them imagi- students — in fact, probably like most Guest Columnist case, however. Medical professionals are nary.” This becomes particularly clear college students — the answer is not News Editors Late this summer, as we were all still worried about possible side effects of during wartime. Governments use an often and not many. Lindsay Means eagerly preparing our returns to campus, the new vaccine. Britain’s Daily Mail has enemy from without to force oppressive In light of the recent August Steigmeyer the Health Center sent an e-mail titled said that up to 50 percent of family doc- measures upon the populace. One need devastating thefts at our “Student with Influenza” to the student tors in the United Kingdom may not use look no further than the Cold War, the bookstore (“Thefts Cost Features Editors body. The meaning was clear from the the vaccine on themselves. The doctors lead-up to the Iraq War and the current Bookstore $39,000,” page 1), Susannah Gruder title alone: the H1N1 influenza virus, cited inadequate testing of the vaccine and demonization of Iran and North Korea. it’s time to reevaluate the way Richard Wylde colloquially known as swine flu, had ar- a lack of concern over the flu itself. One Mandatory vaccination is not an we buy and use textbooks. rived. A student was infected. Now, what third of nurses in the United Kingdom unheard-of practice, either. Historically, First, let’s bring back some of Opinions Editor were we to do? We got the usual advice: have similar fears over the side effects many governments have adopted com- the old textbook department’s Erin Mershon “wash your hands” and “cover your face and efficacy of pulsory vaccina- most effective security when you sneeze,” etc. But real help is on the vaccine. A [Mandatory vaccina- tion programs, measures. The textbook A&E Editor the way. According to information in an survey reported most notably for section should only be open at Bob Dorff e-mail and on the College Web site, the in the British tion] denies the right children entering the beginning of each semester, H1N1 vaccine should be available to the Medical Journal school. Given the staff editorial and everyone entering should Sports Editor campus this fall. found that only of every human being near-monopoly of check any coats or bags. The Bookstore Mark Motheral This sounds all well and good, right? half of health- the public school should also require students to show Maybe not. It would be wise to stand back care workers in to the ownership of system, there are their Kenyon IDs before entering the Business Manager and look at the whole picture before suc- Hong Kong were many who are section. Ben Plotnick cumbing to hysterics. willing to get the his or her body. compulsorily Second, let’s address the In 1976, there was an outbreak of vaccine. Even in vaccinated. This problem of exorbitantly expensive Design Editors swine flu in America. As Congressman the U.S., some parents are concerned practice is absurd and slavish. It denies and underused textbooks. For majors Daniel Streicher Ron Paul, a former medical doctor, about their children receiving the swine the right of every human being to the in disciplines that require textbooks, Peyton Ward recalled this past spring: “In 1976, we flu inoculation. ownership of his or her body. In the name the case may be different. A natural had a vote on the swine flu. The govern- What will happen if vaccination of some fictitious public good or social sciences major could conceivably spend Copy Editors ment was going to inoculate everybody is not generally accepted? Many of the benefit, vaccines are made mandatory. $500 on textbooks per semester and Eve Asher, Paul Bisagni, Hillary Child, and save the world from this disaster.” healthcare professionals cited above said If we can be forced to receive chemicals ten hours per week hunched over those Elyssa Davis, Zoe Feinstein, Sasha Holston, Government involvement in a swine flu they might not get the vaccine because this into our bodies for our own good, what same books, according to biology- Monica Kriete, Adrian Natale, Nathan vaccination program was supported by strain seems to be relatively mild. Paul has else can we be coerced into doing for the and neuroscience-studying Oldach, Libby Panhorst, Elena Zarabozo Collegian the entire Congress, save two. Ron Paul noted this and added that the government sake of our own safety? editors. For the rest of us, however, Faculty Advisor and one other medical doctor cast the could be hyping the situation to gain more I say all of this in the hope that you introductory textbooks are a financial P.F. Kluge only dissenting votes. control. President Obama has declared will be more skeptical of the orthodox and chiropractic burden. The amount It turns out they both had reason that vaccination is voluntary but “highly view passed down from on high. Certain- you receive for an expensive textbook Advertising and Subscriptions to be wary of so much hype and a fast- recommended.” Some believe mandatory ly vaccines have been a boon to mankind: at the end-of-the-year book buy-back Advertisers should contact Ben tracked release of a vaccine. As Penina vaccination is not too far off. This may be look to the eradication of smallpox. But is almost negligible compared to the Plotnick for current rates and further Haber and colleagues noted in a scientific unlikely, but the government’s portrayal of it is important to remember to look not original cost — which can reach $150 information via e-mail at collegian@ kenyon.edu. All materials should be sent only at the benefits of a certain decision, even for a used textbook — so why not to Adveritsing Manager, The Kenyon Tummy Sticks by Gracie Gardner but at the costs as well. What is lost may start at the root cause and not pay the Collegian, P.O. Box 832, Gambier, OH 43022. be more than what is gained. full price in the first place? Don’t buy Yearly subscriptions to The Kenyon the textbook before class starts, and Collegian are available for $35. Checks should be made payable to The Kenyon Morgan on Milks once it does, find a buddy or two and Collegian and sent to the Business/ split the cost. The average non-major Advertising Manager. Letter to the Editor in an introductory class spends two As the eponymous designer and de- hours per week reading the textbook Office: Room 314 Peirce Tower veloper of the Morgan Apartments, I am (according to Collegian estimates), so Mailing address: The Kenyon Collegian, Student Activities Center, Gambier, OH pleased that the College has purchased the even if you’re not a fan of group study, 43022. building and is renovating it (Collegian, set up a book-sharing system. Business address: P.O. Box 832, Gambier, OH, 43022. Sep. 3, 2009). Completed in 1964, it was We commend the College E-mail address: [email protected] intended to serve junior faculty families, Bookstore for the new security Internet address: www.kenyoncollegian.com among others; thus its earliest name, “The measures it has taken since the August The opinions page is a space Ivory Towers.” My family and I lived in thefts, and in no way does the for members of the community to Collegian discuss issues relevant to the campus “Milks 10,” as you captioned the photo mean to suggest practices that will and the world at large. The opinions on page one, for almost five years. In 2007, diminish the Bookstore’s profits. expressed on this page belong only to the writer. Columns and letters to the while attending my fiftieth reunion, I was The Bookstore is an institution at editors do not reflect the opinions of appalled, upon looking in the window of Kenyon and in Gambier, and without the Collegian staff. All members of the commuity are welcome to express our old living room, to see the destruction it the College would lack what has opinions through a letter to the editor. left by former student residents. The fol- traditionally been its heart. Perhaps an The Kenyon Collegian reserves the right to edit all letters submitted for lowing year I returned as a guest lecturer official book-sharing system —maybe length and clarity. The Collegian cannot in Tom Stamp’s class where students con- something for Student Council accept anonymous or psendonymous letters. Letters must be signed by vinced me that the Milk Cartons offered to work on — would allow the individuals, not organizations, and a form of independent living unique in Bookstore to buy fewer textbooks in must be 200 words or less. Letters must also be received no later than Gambier. I felt a bit better afterward but the first place and better meet students’ the Tuesday prior to publication. The must confess I’m much happier now changing demand. We suggest these Kenyon Collegian prints as many letters as possible each week subject knowing it will be students working changes because we want to mitigate to space, interest and appropriateness. for honors who’ll enjoy that privileged the Bookstore’s potential losses Members of the editorial board reserve the right to reject any submission. “independence” in the future. while preserving the independent, The views expressed in the paper do community feel of a local institution. not necesassarily reflect the views of Kenyon College. -Architect Jim Morgan ’57 Also, bring back the castle. Opinions The Kenyon Collegian Thursday, September 10, 2009 Thursday, September 10, 2009 The Kenyon Collegian Opinions
Picky Eaters Shouldn’t Pick on Peirce FACE Long Lines Aren’t Worth the Wait OFF logistically unworkable. What in Peirce. to return dishes stretches from sandwich I haven’t even tasted you can expect from Peirce is a Of course there are times a the carousel through the atrium yet. I eat and leave, completely response, explaining whether an meal does not particularly strike and into the Great Hall. I shake frustrated. Even the fact that idea can be implemented. That my fancy. If this happened to my head. This can’t be it! Com- there’s no line at the carousel is, you can expect a response if you me very often,I would be forced pletely worked up, I consider just can’t cheer me up. air your complaint in the proper to ponder if perhaps it were my leaving my tray on the table and Once 4:00 p.m. rolls venue. The student body has own tastes that needed broaden- walking out. I wouldn’t be the around, I head off to practice. been kindly provided with com- ing, a possibility that some of the first. But I begrudgingly get in Afterwards, I hike back up the ment cards and a reply board in student body might do well to line and wait. And wait. When hill, hopeful that the lines will be by Anne kruk Peirce, which, as outlets for your consider. You are all adults; there by tina ertel I get to the carousel, I’m unable short and the tray area clean. My Guest Columnist culinary frustrations, are prefer- is no reason for the dining hall to Guest Columnist to navigate the complicated stomach grumbles after the three able to snide all-student e-mails need to provide you with burgers process of putting my silverware hours of grueling practice, and as Being picky about food was that suggest that Mommy and and fries every night because that One of the most beautiful in one bin, my empty cup in I near Peirce, I hold my breath in not tolerated in my house when I Daddy should call the College to is the only thing you will eat. If, buildings on campus, Peirce is another and my tray on the rack. nervous anticipation. But when was growing up. Pickiness was far complain on your behalf. however, I only occasionally find now bursting with all sorts of I double-check myself, nervous I walk in, I am instantly greeted worse than, say, muddy shoes on Furthermore, if you need myself wishing for something gimmicks, from the fancy light because I don’t want to drop by millions of bags and jackets the carpet, and it was only slightly something right away, ask one else to eat, that represents no controllers to the impossible-to- anything and hold up the line spilling out of the coatroom and better than an actual sin. I knew of the workers in Peirce. They failing on Peirce’s part. There understand three-tier carousel that’s gotten even longer as I’ve a line running out of the servery this in theory from a young age; at are kind, hard-working people are more than 1,600 students at for trays. And while that’s all been waiting. I smile at the AVI into the atrium. I feel like I’ve 11, I came to understand it practi- who really want to make sure our school, each with different well and good, who cares about worker, who smiles back and just collapsed — once, twice, cally, during a two-hour standoff you enjoy your meal. If you need tastes. If you have cooked for a all the exciting technology and makes the even multiple over a pile of baby carrots on my Dijon mustard, lemon juice or group even a fraction of that size gorgeous architecture if there wait some- Students are now times. I sink dinner plate. My mother washed Old Bay seasoning to do that, (say, 30 people), you know that are serious problems with the what less into a corner, the dishes, my sister watched they will find it for you —I know, it is almost impossible to satisfy organization of the servery it- horrifying. just eating what- my hunger television and I watched the baby because they have done this for everyone. self? There are lines that almost F i n a l l y ever option has the g o n e a n d carrots, hoping they would disap- me in the past. Here, my fellow students, is wrap around themselves because finished, replaced by pear or, if not, that my parents As for those who I have where the lessons your mothers they’re so long and cramped. I head to shortest line. absolute des- would give up the fight. N either heard abstractly complain that taught you come into play. If you The mess in front of the carousel class with peration. happened, and with bedtime “the food is bad,” I honestly do not do not think you will like dinner, causes at least a few slips each day. a grumpy mood in my pocket my experience isn’t on the horizon, I gave in. From know what you are talking about, try it anyway — you might be Even on the best of days, nearly — which can be pretty hard to uncommon, and this sort of then on I knew that what was partly because of your vagaries surprised. Even if you definitely every student can expect a ri- beat — and an uncomfortable thing shouldn’t happen. Peirce is on my plate was dinner, and as and partly because I have never dislike dinner, remember that diculously long line or a stumble. ache at the thought that I’ll have the only dining option available time passed I learned subsequent enjoyed food at Kenyon more good people have spent long Here’s my story. to return. to students at Kenyon, and when surprising lessons: carrots really than I have in the last two weeks. hours using good ingredients to Early in the morning I wan- I skip lunch. I’m convinced you consider that the average are good, and good for you; good While my parents did convince prepare good meals for you to der into the dining hall, already it’s just not worth the hassle. Al- Kenyon student is over-involved manners sometimes mean eating me out of my pickiness, alas, they eat. That kind of work deserves ten minutes ahead of everyone though I was desperate for some and remarkably stressed, a time- something you would rather not; still raised something of a food a better reward than our petty — here, it’s all about beating hot food, I can’t make myself go consuming and stressful dining and food is meant to serve our snob — a gourmand, I might be — if unintentional — meanness, the crowd. I enter the servery, through that again. I can’t kill my experience is the last thing we bodies, not more kindly so think twice before you com- and just as I expected, it’s fairly mood again. I’m afraid I might should have to endure. Whether (necessarily) It is almost impossible called. Re- plain aloud. There are aspects empty. I’m proud of myself. I not recover from the experience. or not you feel that the food our tastes. ally, what is of Peirce I dislike, but I dislike outsmarted everyone! I grab I decide to wait for Extendo, has improved this year, you can These to please everyone. not to love even more those who are willing my food quickly in short lines a welcome alternative to the admit that the wait to get food are all famil- about por- to be rude in the pursuit of their and so far, everything is great. I lines and crowds. As soon as I has exceeded reasonable expecta- iar lessons, learned early in life, tabella mushrooms with fresh specific tastes, especially before head toward the Great Hall and enter the serving area, however, tions by a considerable amount. but not always remembered. chopped local tomatoes and goat even attempting to go through scan the room for a seat, until my eyes start twitching. What Students are now just eating While it is true that we are adults, cheese? I would eat that under the appropriate channels. I remember that I need water. is this? I have to wait in line whatever option has the shortest free to eat what we like, at no any circumstances, at school or in Talk to the Peirce workers. Where’s the water? Oh, right. It’s for my sandwich, even during line. Even if the “action station” point were we given permission a restaurant. My greatest irritation Fill out comment cards. Join the not in the serving area anymore. I Extendo? I used to love coming is serving up a delicious recipe, — from anyone — to be rude or with the most current set of com- Housing and Dining Commit- head toward the cooler and try to later because I could actually help the expedient and convenient ungracious. I do not intend to plaints is the fact that the dining tee. When every other option set down my tray, almost upend- myself. Already on edge, I get in choice is still to get a relatively address any specific food-related hall has (finally) managed to pro- is exhausted, call or e-mail the ing it in the process, since there’s line. Ten minutes later, the AVI boring salad and a bowl of cereal. grievances in this editorial. If you vide us with what we have wanted relevant person directly, rather no room to balance anything worker kindly asks what kind Instead of shuffling around, try- do not like green beans or tofu, or for years: a variety of flavorful, than trying to raise ire through on the table. As I try to make of bread I would like. I ask for ing to find something to eat from if you wish the lines were shorter, freshly made, local foods, with the all-stu forum. And at ev- room, I feel my mood deflating. twelve grain, and although I see a line that won’t take 20 minutes those are perfectly legitimate plenty of fruits and vegetables. I ery turn, remember what your I make it to my table and enjoy a cartful of bread behind her, or more, we should be able to requests. Be reasonable, know- am more than satisfied with the mother said: be kind, polite and a comfortable meal with friends, she informs me that she doesn’t grab a delicious meal worthy ing that some requests cannot meals they have given us, and for courteous; say please and thank finally. Until, of course, I look have it. I hesitantly point to the of the beautiful servery and the be afforded and that others are that, thank you to all the workers you; and eat your vegetables. out towards the atrium. The line rye, already disappointed with a friendly people who serve us. Grab-n-Go’s Absence Leaves North Campus Hungry of chips. I would see a few people up much more time. In addition, old Gund Commons servery is sim- in their consistent deliciousness.) I knew and maybe take a few having just one place on campus ply pathetic in its emptiness, and It was the reliability, the familiar- minutes to talk with them before to get lunch without forking I find myself doubtful that vend- ity and, maybe, the bags of chips. retreating to my room to eat and over money is ing machines I doubt that anyone at Kenyon finish my work for my afternoon short-sighted It’s unlikely that the will make up would dispute the necessity of a class. Grab-n-Go’s location and on the part of for the loss of North Campus dining option, so convenience made it the perfect the College, College can cook up a Grab-n-Go. even if the administration were way to juggle academic and nutri- especially giv- t h e unable to resurrect Grab-n-Go in tional priorities so that I neither en how busy replacement that will point was nev- exactly the same form as before, failed my classes nor inadvertently P e i r c e h a s er the quality it must be aware that it is already by mara pottersmith starved myself. been lately. It of the food ; sorely missed. I’m wary of the abil- Managing Editor satisfy the Grab-n-Go As a North Campus resident couldn’t have G r a b - n - G o ity of pre-prepared food in vending It was a familiar routine: on for the second year, I was incred- been a lack of faithful among us. s a n d w i c h e s machines to make up for Grab-n- the way back to my dorm from ibly disappointed to learn over the resp onse or were accept- Go’s absence. It’s unlikely that the my morning class, I would duck summer that Grab-n-Go wouldn’t popularity; Grab-n-Go was over- able at best. (The exception to that College can cook up a replacement into Gund Commons to pick up a be coming back. Sure, there’s al- flowing with Kenyon students rule was the peanut butter and jelly that will satisfy the Grab-n-Go peanut butter and jelly sandwich, ways Peirce, but it’s considerably every time I was there last year sandwiches. Those somehow tran- faithful among us, but I’d be happy a cup of hot chocolate and a bag farther out of the way and it takes — and I was there a lot. Now the scended all rules of Kenyon food to see it prove me wrong. Upcoming Sports Picks Illustrations by Ellie Jabbour Weekend Weather Collegian he enyon ollegian
T K C S S a F u t r u n Football Volleyball i d r d d Saturday, September 12 at 1:00p.m. Saturday, September 12 at 12:30p.m. a a y a y @ Kenyon vs. University of Chicago Kenyon College Invitational PM Showers y Partly Cloudy Partly Cloudy Sports 70° / 60° 73° / 50° 78° / 53° Thursday, September 10, 2009 | Page 8 Spartans Defend Throne from Lords Field Hockey By Mark Motheral aggressively.” Sports Editor With the score 17-7, the Lords fell Falls to victim to yet another 18-yard touch- The Lords football team opened down pass by Whalen, putting them in its season on the road against the Case a precarious position once more. The Western Reserve Spartans last Saturday, Lords responded with another touch- Blue Jays Sep. 5. Last year, Case Western Reserve down of their own, however, thanks to By JAMES Asimes University spoiled Kenyon’s home opener a one-yard run across the goal line by Staff Writer by trouncing the Lords 62-27, much running back Kyle Toot ’10. Sadly, with to the chagrin of Kenyon football fans. two and a half minutes left in the second The Kenyon Ladies field hockey Although the score line of this year’s quarter, Whalen completed his fourth team traveled down to Owings Mills, MD, rematch was not as lopsided, the Lords’ touchdown pass. Despite Case’s kicker, on Saturday, Sep. 5, for the Black Eyed Su- efforts to seek retribution were futile in Sam Coffey, missing the subsequent extra san Tournament at Stevenson University. a 33-21 loss. point attempt, the Lords were still behind The Ladies faced very tough competition, In the first quarter, the Lords had no by 16 points. especially in the opening round, as Kenyon answer for the Spartans’ aerial assault, and After halftime, scoring came at a pre- was matched with the nationally-ranked also could not penetrate the Spartans’ de- mium for both teams. In the third quarter, Johns Hopkins University Blue Jays on fense. Case’s quarterback, Dan Whalen, Kenyon was shut out completely, while Saturday. Although the Ladies fought threw two touchdown passes in the first the Lords’ defense held Case Western to hard, their efforts were ultimately fruitless three minutes of play, one of them from a mere field goal. In the fourth quarter, in a 7-0 loss. 18 yards out of the end zone, while the Kenyon was faced with the daunting task The Ladies faced a daunting task Lords were left scoreless for the entirety of making up for Case’s 19-point lead. as the Blue Jays, ranked number 11 in Courtesy of Mike hermanson of the first 15 minutes. Though the Lords’ defense played its part Wide receiver Harry von Kann ’10 goes for a first down. Division III, remained undefeated, while After scoring a field goal early in in preventing the Spartans from scoring, it takes to be successful at the collegiate When asked if he had done anything to the Ladies continued to search for their the second quarter, the Spartans found Kenyon only completed one touchdown level. We need to continue to work on improve his punting over the off-season, first victory of the season. Johns Hopkins themselves with a comfortable 17-0 lead, strike in the waning moments of the playing proper technique and executing Martin said, “it’s more natural ability than unleashed a barrage of shots on goalkeeper but Kenyon did not allow Case to run game, when Hermanson threw a 17-yard at a higher percentage. Our effort was hard work.” Jenna Klein ’13 in both halves, as the Blue away with the game from there on out. touchdown completion to the Lords’ top good and we need to continue to play Next up, the Lords face the Univer- Jays jumped out to a 2-0 lead within the The Lords’ defense began to impede the receiver, Harry von Kann ’10, making the at a high effort level if we want to have sity of Chicago Maroons this Saturday, first 20 minutes and went into halftime Spartans’ offense, giving the Lords an game’s final score 33-21. success.” Sep. 12, at McBride Field at 1:00 p.m. with a three-goal lead. Johns Hopkins opportunity to close the gap. Then, with A few days after the game, Stanley Even though the team lost, a few Although Kenyon defeated Chicago last ended the first half with an 18-3 advantage eight minutes remaining before halftime, assessed his team’s performance. “We football players had breakout perfor- year, Stanley warns that matching that in shots over the Ladies. the Lords’ quarterback, Mike Herman- played very hard on defense and played mances, including, but not limited to, feat will not be easy. “U of Chicago is a While Johns Hopkins displayed its son ’10, scored an 11-yard touchdown with great emotion,” Stanley said in an Mike Papagni ’12 and Matt Martin ’12. tremendous threat. They have talent at depth, the lack of substitutes for the Ladies run, cutting Case Western’s lead down to e-mail. “We did not play technique very Papagni, a linebacker, had his first career all positions and are very athletic,” Stanley showed in the second half. Johns Hopkins 10. Lords’ Coach Ted Stanley explained well but made up for mistakes with great fumble recovery in the fourth quarter. said. “They have extra motivation because tossed an incredible 28 shots at the Ladies why his team was completely outmatched hustle and desire. Offensively, we need “It was pretty cool,” Papagni said. “It was of our victory over them last year at their in the second half, while the Ladies were until the middle of the second quarter. to be more assignment-sound and with kind of funny, too. The center botched home opener. I believe we match up very only able to put one shot on goal in the “We played slow and tentative to begin a greater sense of purpose. Case did not the snap, then, after the quarterback and well with U of Chicago. We have just as final period. The Blue Jays doubled their the game,” Stanley said. “This was the play exceptionally well either, but they running back missed the ball, it went much ability and talent. The game will lead by the 15-minute mark in the second main cause for their early lead. When are a more experienced team. I believe over the line and dropped right in front come down to who plays the hardest, half and cruised to a 7-0 victory over the we settled down and just played we were that both teams played hard but there of me.” Meanwhile, Martin had an out- which team executes their game plan Ladies squad. fine. We really didn’t make any schematic were typical first game mistakes. Our standing day of punting, averaging 43.2 efficiently and which team makes the The Blue Jays were led by Kelly changes; we just played faster and more young players … learned about the effort yards per punt after punting eight times. fewest mistakes and turnovers.” Kimmerling, who scored a pair of goals, and the duo of Andrea Vandersall and Ariana Branchini, who each added two Fiscal Gameplans in Division I Football assists for Johns Hopkins. For the Ladies, find another opponent in the Division schools benefit from these early-season and Technical State University, because Jenna Klein ’13 tallied 23 saves in the full By JAMES Asimes I Football Bowl Subdivision (FBS) to drubbings. The major FBS programs the dates conflicted with Michigan’s 70 minutes in goal. Staff Writer play in the opening weeks of the season can take in admission and concessions schedule. While Delaware State is now After a rough opening round game, Put yourself in the shoes of Jay before the conference schedule starts. from an additional home game, as well forced to pay North Carolina A&T the Ladies were back on the field against Mills, head coach of the Charleston While these games often are blowouts as easing their players into the season $100,000 in penalties for forfeiting the Delaware Valley College in the final round Southern University football team. You and act as glorified exhibition games by playing an easier opponent. The real game, the Hornets will make $550,000 of the tournament. The Ladies struck first lead a Division I Football Championship for the major FBS schools, FCS schools winners in these match-ups, however, are playing the Wolverines. Even with the against the Aggies, as forward Meredith Subdivision (FCS) team hailing from a have been more competitive as of late. the FCS schools. Coming into an open- forfeiture penalty subtracted, the Dela- Yellen ’13 put Kenyon ahead for the first university of only 3,000 students into The University of Michigan was the ing season game that few of the teams ware State will cover nearly five percent time this season, nine minutes into the first “The Swamp” in Gainesville, FL, to face most notable FBS school to fall to an from the FCS are expected even to be of its total athletic budget through play- half. It was downhill for the Ladies after the number one-ranked team in Division FCS opponent, as the FCS champion competitive in, the FCS teams gain great ing Michigan. that, as the Aggies scored with ten minutes I football. Appalachian State came into “The Big experience by playing against the best tal- The number and cost of inter- left in the first half to tie the score heading In the post-game news conference, House” in Ann Arbor and knocked ent they will likely see all season. Playing subdivision games are on the rise, and into halftime. Mills was asked about the positives of off the Wolverines, while taking home a major FBS opponent in the opening this trend doesn’t appear to be slowing. In the second half, Delaware Val- playing the Gators in the opening week $400,000 from Michigan for agreeing weeks of the season will place an FCS As long as coaches, athletic directors ley held the Ladies scoreless in the final of the season. “The scoreboard is just to play the Wolverines. team on television at least regionally, if and even star players continue to hide period en route to a 4-1 victory for the one measure of success, but being able Last week, 37 schools from the not nationally. The exposure is welcomed behind the excuses of scheduling con- Aggies. While the Ladies dropped to 0-3 to persevere and overcome obstacles is FCS traveled to FBS colleges and uni- by the FCS schools. Although both FBS flicts and such, early season match-ups to start the season, the Aggies improved important as well,” Mills said. “We’re versities. The FBS tallied a 34-3 record, and FCS head coaches and athletic direc- will continue to be the frosting on the to 3-0. Goalkeeper Klein had three saves so thankful to the University of Florida with the average margin of victory for tors often cite the above reasons for the scheduling cake for major conference in the losing effort, as Kenyon was again for giving us this opportunity to play FBS teams just a shade above 27 points continuation of these games, the stron- schools. The fact remains that the FCS outshot 14-6. Defender Sasha Grum- them.” If you translate that coach-speak, per game. gest factor is the money FCS schools schools desperately need the money man ’10 also added two defensive saves. it reads: “There are no positives to get- The Colonial Athletic Association receive. Even the smaller FBS schools earned from these games, but those FBS The Aggies had the advantage in penalty ting beaten by both the first and second accounted for two of the three wins are now paying FCS teams hundreds of schools who host on their schedule are corners, 10-4. Both Mindy Miniconzi and strings of Florida 62-3, but we expected against FBS opponents, as the CAA was thousands of dollars to visit the stadium not given a penalty when it comes to Bethany Pavlik had two goals and an assist to be beaten worse. We’re so thankful 2-1 against FBS teams last week, with the for a few hours in late summer and pos- deciding a national championship or a for Delaware Valley. to the University of Florida for the six- University of Richmond knocking off sibly even play football. Such is the case BCS bowl game berth. With so much While the Ladies have had a hellish figure pay-day to come to Gainesville the storied Duke University Blue Devils with Delaware State. The Hornets are money being given to schools for par- schedule to start the season, they look to and play.” and The College of William & Mary scheduled to play at the University of ticipating in these very elite bowl games, secure their first victory of the season this Most coaches and athletic direc- beating the University of Virginia. Michigan later this fall. Delaware State the politics of Division I college football Saturday, Sep. 12, at Wittenberg Univer- tors of major Division I programs hide The reality is that both the major was forced to forfeit a conference game seem to be swept under the rug as much sity in their second conference match-up behind the excuse that they cannot FBS schools and the opening-week FCS against North Carolina Agricultural as possible. of the year.