GREEK AMERICAN THE NATIONAL HERALD • FEBRUARY 23, 2013

WeddinSPECIAL gEDITION s

The National Herald

www.thenationalherald.com www.ekirikas.com 2 GREEK AMERICAN WEDDINGS 2013 THE NATIONAL HERALD, FEBRUARY 23, 2013

The National Herald A weekly publication of the NATIONAL HERALD, INC. (ΕΘΝΙΚΟΣ ΚΗΡΥΞ), reporting the news and addressing the issues of paramount interest to the Greek American community of the United States of America. Publisher-Editor Antonis H. Diamataris Assistant to Publisher, Advertising Veta H. Diamataris Papadopoulos Special Section Editor Sophia Stratakis Huling Production Manager Chrysoula Karametros

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Greek American Weddings 2013

In ancient Greek mythology, the goddess Hera, the wife of Zeus, was the goddess of marriage. The pomegranate was sa - cred to her. Perhaps that is why the pomegranate is frequently used in Greek wedding symbolism. photo courtesy eric hoffhines, chicago, ill. In this year’s special Weddings insert, we’re bringing you Maria-Tina Karamanlakis at work in the Scintillant Studio in San Francisco. something old (historical photos and stories), something new (trends in jewelry, ceremonial accessories, and delectable treats), and something different: a new kind of destination wedding – marrying in your grandparents’ village, with your grandparents’ customs. Ancient Methods for Modern Couples On the spiritual side, we have some excerpts from the classic “Marriage: An Orthodox Perspective” by the late revered scholar John Meyendorff. So whether you’re thinking about tying the knot, wondering Goldsmith Creates Custom Jewelry how things have changed since you have, or are already plan - ning your special day, we hope you enjoy our special issue. Inspired by Prehistoric Designs

By Sophia Stratakis Huling tribute to the Minoan civiliza - TNH Staff Writer tion that flourished between 3000-1100 B.C. “When I was eight my par - Have you ever visited a mu - ents took me to Crete and I saw seum, perhaps the Metropolitan the Minoan frescoes and the in New York or the Benaki in palace, and those illustrations Athens, marveled at the splen - stuck in my mind,” she said. dor of priceless, one-of-a-kind “When I went to New York the jewelry designed thousands of first time, I went to the Metro - years ago, and fantasized about politan and I wanted those an - wearing such a piece, especially cient rings that were in the on your wedding day? cases.” Sterling silver Maria-Tina Karamanlakis, But since she couldn’t buy pomegranate owner of Maria-Tina Minoan them, she decided to make them necklace Jewelry™ in San Francisco, Ca., herself. For more than 25 years, wondered the same thing when, Karamanlakis has been design - A wedding crown used in an Orthodox Christian wedding at the age of 8, she first visited ing and creating original, cus - ceremony. the archaeological site of Knos - tom, handcrafted jewelry. sos outside Heraklion, Crete, a She works in 22, 18, and 14

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karat gold, platinum, 24-karat cient prehistoric times, and they are losing now, as the hand - vermeil (sterling silver dipped had 1500 years of peace.” made from yiayia.” in 24 karat gold), sterling silver, Karamanlakis fondly remem - The Miami, Fla. native copper and bronze, some inlaid bers her grandmother inspiring launched her jewelry making by hand with precious or semi- her creativity as a child, taking business in 2000, to transmit precious stones. her on fabric-buying expedi - “the message of life and trans - Her style is inspired by an - tions, sewing her dresses, mak - formation and 1500 years of cient museum pieces, primarily ing beaded flowers, even sewing peace through the Minoans,” Minoan and Byzantine era gold elaborate clothes for her Barbie she said. work. doll. “My effort is to make it look With both parents of Greek She credits her grandmother like it’s ancient, but incorporate ancestry, and a name ending in with inspiring her creativity my own style. Through this jew - the typically Cretan “-akis,” she when, years later, she began elry, this is my interpretation of identified strongly with the Mi - making jewelry after working all their culture and of their beauty. noan culture from a young age. day on the computer as a That’s just something that goes After further research into graphic designer. through me, that just comes out. the Minoan civilization, she “It was like my tactile re - When I start working in gold, I learned they “were matriarchal, lease, you know, but it’s all have an idea and I know what I which means women were in about yiayia (grandmother), re - want, and it becomes its own high positions, they had the ally,” she said. “I started getting most advanced society of an - all that traditional stuff that we Continued on page 4

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Clockwise from top right, all rings in 22 karat gold: ring with central rutilated quartz stone and tiny rubies; ring with Persian turquoise and ring with encased diamond; life spiral ring with European cut antique diamond; 3-ring set, one with ruby center stone; rosebud ring with pink tourmaline stone and ring with large square pink tourmaline. 4 GREEK AMERICAN WEDDINGS 2013 THE NATIONAL HERALD, FEBRUARY 23, 2013 “How Come You Don’t Say ‘I Do’?”

By Sophia Stratakis Huling chanting, and the readings; ex - Viewpoint superficial to me at the time. standing of marriage is not con - TNH Staff Writer change rings, have crowns put “Well, they’re there, aren’t tractual. on their heads, and process they?” she said. “Thanks for a It’s sacramental, mystical. Weddings are a frequent joy - around the table. Not about to non-answer,” I thought, “the When the crowns are placed on ful community experience, not let a good needling opportunity neighborhood kids will sure the couple’s heads, the choir and only for Greek-Americans, but go to waste, they challenged me, mock me on that one.” the congregation sing, “Lord our for most cultures throughout hu - “Well then, how can they be mar - Years later, I appreciated its God, crown them with glory and man history. Growing up, all my ried without vows? How do you profound meaning. Our western honor.” The crowns symbolize family’s relatives and close know they want to be married if society is based in many ways the grace of God coming upon friends were Orthodox, so every they never say ‘I do’?” on Roman legalism. Even our the couple to unite them in a wedding I attended was a Greek I had no answer. Living in a concepts of civil and criminal way that goes beyond our hu - Orthodox ceremony. I witnessed secularized western culture, I law are heavily influenced by man reason. They’re not joined Roman Catholic, Protestant, Jew - did realize that as Greek Ortho - the Latin legal system. by their “promise” to one an - ish, or civil ceremonies only on dox we were “different” from This legal ideology extended other – which can be broken if television or in the movies. One the society around us. But I was into the western church, and one of the parties “defaults” on day, my neighborhood playmates never challenged to defend it so created the concept of marriage the agreement in any way – but and I got into a discussion about directly – and felt defeated as a contract between two peo - by their participating in the full - weddings. (We were all young when I couldn’t respond. ple. ness of God’s grace by “being girls, after all, and dreaming of So I did the only thing I And thus it is still ap - there” in the sacrament. our prince charming and the day knew. I asked my mother the proached today in western So the next time I witness an when all eyes would be on us.) same question: how do we Christian and civil marriage. Orthodox wedding, whether it’s They all knew I was Orthodox, know all those couples we’ve That’s where the vows come in. in Greek, Russian, Arabic, Ro - and they asked me about our witnessed get married in the Or - In order for a contract to be manian, Albanian, English, or “wedding vows.” “We don’t have thodox Church actually wanted binding, the parties must both anything else, I won’t wonder wedding vows,” I said, having to be married if they didn’t have agree. If they don’t both agree, about the vows. I’ll participate witnessed dozens of couples any “say” in the matter? The crowned bridal couple processes around the wedding table there is no contract. by listening, singing along – and silently listen to the prayers, the My mother’s reply seemed in the Dance of Isaiah. But the Orthodox under - just “being there.” Ancient Methods for Modern Couples

Continued from page 3 shape, giving them the ancient- and it’s something that they can looking character rarely seen hand down throughout the fam - thing, so I feel like I’m transfer - outside museums. ily,” she said. ring that Minoan spirit through She creates each piece by She has sources for rare an - me.” hand, with the same metal work tique stones over 100 years old, Karamanlakis spent 10 years skills used to hand-sculpt jew - such as a Victorian-era diamond working in broadcast television elry for thousands of years. She that she sets inside the gold spi - news and graphics at CBS, NBC, may then add diamonds, rubies, ral of one of her rings – no ABC, Fox, Telemundo, and Uni - or other precious or semi-pre - prongs needed. vision, winning six Emmy cious stones. Karamanlakis often uses a awards for her graphic design. Her wedding collection con - customer’s own stones or gold, After a layoff in 2001, how - tains some spectacular designs, as she recently did for a couple ever, she enrolled in jewelry and such as a half-inch-wide 22 who ordered a pair of wedding metal smithing classes, learning karat solid gold band embell - bands and a third, larger ring to work with a torch and further ished with tiny gold balls, dia - encrusted with a green tourma - honing her skills. With the help monds, and Persian turquoise. line for the wife to wear with and encouragement of friends But every set of wedding her wedding band. and relatives, she built a studio rings is custom made for the “She’s Asian, so she took all and launched her business. couple after a consultation, es - her mother’s old 24-karat gold Karamanlakis’ website and tablishing a price range, and the and we melted it down and online boutique unveiled last couple’s approval of her made all three rings from the fall, www.greekislandhouse. sketches. She works in a wide mom’s 24 karat gold, for the guy com, contains dozens of her variety of price ranges, begin - too,” she said. “And it was funny original creations, including a ning at about $350 for a sterling because the fiancée, she said, wedding collection, that truly silver band. Every stage of the ‘Oh no, I don’t think he [her fu - look like they were unearthed process is clearly spelled out, ture husband] cares, he just 22 karat gold from an archaeological site. and Karamanlakis updates her wants a silver band.’ When he pomegranate She uses pure 24 karat gold, customers regularly. saw that 22-karat gold he said, pendant with 21 creates her own alloy, melts it “Generally I take a deposit ‘You bet I want one of those!’” pave faceted rubies; into her crucible, and shapes it and then I keep them posted. an ancient Greek by hand into rings, bracelets, Open Floating Heart Necklace, Now with the new phones, if Maria-Tina Minoan Jewelry, symbol of fertility chains, pendants, earrings, and which was included in the they want to, I’ll sent them little San Francisco, CA, Web: and marriage. even Orthodox Christian wed - swag bags of the 2007 Female pictures of the progress of the www.greekislandhouse.com, ding wreaths (stefana). Many of Oscar Nominees for best ac - piece, which is really fun. It’s an Phone: 415-299-1442, E-mail: the pieces are hammered into tress. investment, and it’s an art piece, [email protected]

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www.mentistudio.com 1-646-302-3171 THE NATIONAL HERALD, FEBRUARY 23, 2013 GREEK AMERICAN WEDDINGS 2013 5 Old World Wedding for a New Generation in Oinoussai

Couple Returns to and friends arrived at his grand - father’s house, where he was stay - ing, to sing the age-old wedding Their Ancestral songs to him. A small local band of traditional instruments (violin, Home to Wed oud, clarinet) arrived to play the wedding syrtos (the name of an island dance) outside his door. By Sophia Stratakis Huling When Diamantis, his family, and TNH Staff Writer his friends came out, the band led the procession to Maria’s grand - Maria Laimos grew up in a father’s house, where she was suburb outside Athens. Her preparing herself with her fam - mother was born in the eastern ily. Aegean island of Chios, nine miles “That was very touching; from the Turkish coast, and her everyone was very moved, be - father on the tiny neighboring is - cause it was something different, land of Oinoussai, which is part and special,” Maria said. “They of the Chios province. Diamantis stopped outside my house, and Lemos’ parents are also de - then I came out, and my father scended from Oinoussai. Diaman - A band of musicians performs outside a groom’s house, waiting A bride and groom process toward the church for their wed - gave me to Diamantis and to his tis was born and bred in London, to accompany him to pick up his bride, according to Greek vil - ding, accompanied by their families and guests family. Everybody was very emo - where there is a sizeable Oinouss - lage tradition tional, because it was very tradi - ian expatriate community. tional, and it had not been seen Oinoussai (also called Eg - before. It was nice, because the noussa) barely registers as a dot instruments and the traditional on the Aegean seascape. There is Oinoussian music adds to the one inhabited village on the is - whole atmosphere. It was like the land, and the number of those in - party had already started, in a habitants has been steadily dimin - way. There were lots of tears and ishing in the past few generations, lots of emotions, because we live as people have sought jobs and in a time that we don’t experience livelihoods in larger cities, such that anymore.” as Chios, Athens and abroad. Its After Maria’s father gave her year-round population is about to her bridegroom, the couple 500, but it swells by the thou - walked together toward the sands in the summer. That is church, followed by everyone when its prodigal sons and else. “We walked together into daughters return to the tiny island the church, and that’s how the for their vacation, where they can sacrament began,” she remem - swim in crystalline water, breathe bered. smog-free air, and catch up with The ceremony concluded, childhood friends and relatives. everyone walked down to the Most stay in their parents’, grand - main village square, where the parents’ or great-grandparents’ St. Nicholas Church, the centerpiece of the main village of A view of the village of Oinoussai as the wedding party and glendi (celebration) was open to homes, since the homes are kept Oinoussai island, where Diamantis and Maria were married guests descended from the church to the square for the glendi, the entire village. “It was like an in families for generations. Maria at dusk open wedding, like the old days, and Diamantis were among those when the wedding would take thousands whose families vaca - back from grandson to father to go someplace else to have your place in the main square of the tioned on their ancestral home, grandfather to great-grandfather, special day, which would either village, a big party, and whoever and, as often happens, met and so it’s a very special place,” Maria be Athens or Chios for them.” was there was welcome to come fell in love during those visits. said. “To get married in a large So when Maria and Diamantis and join,” said Maria. Her mother Maria and Diamantis were a hotel in Athens didn’t mean much approached the local priest to ask remembered the rousing glendi modern, educated, cosmopolitan to us. The common thing was the him to marry them, he couldn’t lasting all night, until 5 the fol - couple with the intention to build Oinoussian heritage that we both believe his ears. lowing morning. “It moves me to their life together in a large city, had.” “The priest, dear man, said to remember it,” she said, her voice just as they had always lived. But But no one could remember us, ‘Everybody’s coming here for breaking slightly. when it came to planning their the last time the island had seen their funeral, but nobody’s com - “It’s a very grounding experi - wedding, they realized they had a wedding. Even the people who ing here to get married, so to me ence, I find, and very humbling to reach back to make it mean - lived there year-round didn’t wed it’s such a great pleasure,’” Maria as well,” Maria said. “It doesn’t ingful, to begin their married life there. “The local people would go remembered. “So for us, living in matter if you’ve made it in life, or where their roots were. to Chios to get married or to go London and Athens to actually go if you’ve left your homeland and “We both felt that Oinoussai somewhere that’s a bit more back to the island to have a wed - grown up elsewhere, or gone to was the place we came from; our glamorous for them,” Maria said. ding, for him it was quite an schools that are not Greek, as it families were from there for many “All the young people want to event.” was for Diamantis. But despite all generations, we have spent most leave the island, to go somewhere As it had happened for his that, he felt that at the end, ‘this of our summers there as children, else, because it’s quite claustro - grandfather and great-grandfa - is where I belong.’ It was a state - we had a lot of beautiful memo - phobic. Especially when you live ther, Diamanti’s wedding day be - Led by the band of musicians, a bridal party ascends the narrow ment for him, and for me, to ac - ries and friendships that went there all year round, you want to gan when his extended family paths of a village on its way to church for the ceremony. tually choose Oinoussai.” 6 GREEK AMERICAN WEDDINGS 2013 THE NATIONAL HERALD, FEBRUARY 23, 2013 3 Angel Gifts: More Than Candied Almonds in Tulle

By Sophia Stratakis Huling But she is also a trained floral pas-Rogers fits the bill. She does that’s being performed. So to me TNH Staff Writer designer and can create just more than make pretty wedding it doesn’t play the biggest role about any style of wedding favors; she knows, for example, as to how big of an event it is, Candles, wedding wreathes crown, lampada (large candles that the koufeta must always be but that it’s done in accordance and boubounieres are just a few or torches), and even baptismal packaged in an odd number. with what’s needed, what’s ap - of the Orthodox Christian wed - pin for when baby time arrives. This symbolizes that the mar - propriate, and what’s in the ding essentials Stavroula Pap - She can help with baptismal riage bond can never be split in budget.” pas-Rodgers of Huntington, N.Y. clothes, and wedding crown two, because Christ is the third The highlight of the Greek creates -- to order -- for couples cases for preserving your pre - Party in the marriage, and, as Orthodox wedding ceremony is looking for that unique touch cious memories. And she can the ceremony states, “What God the crowning of the couple with that can’t be found on a web pinch-hit as an event planner, has joined together, let no man two wreaths joined by a ribbon. catalog or in a shop carrying as - working with some of the more separate.” The stefana (wreaths or crowns) sembly-line merchandise. popular reception halls in the “God is the one that is the are traditionally purchased by A former surgical nurse, Pap - Long Island area. difference between the couple, the koumbaroi. The styles seem pas-Rogers describes herself as “I contract out all the ven - that’s why it’s never an even to be limited only by one’s imag - a “multi-tasker.” She began a dors, they all know my work, number, it’s always an odd num - ination: Pappas-Rogers has cre - business about seven years ago, they know me by first name and ber,” she said. “There are always ated crowns with silk, silver or creating boubounieres, the they know what I’m capable of,” three people in the marriage; it gold-spun thread; silver or gold small bunch of koufeta (candy- she said. “And I do everything can never be divided in two. plating, and sterling silver. covered almonds) wrapped in from soup to nuts. If I have to That’s why there’s only one God “They can come with accen - tulle or tied in delicate fabric hem a hem on a bride, I’ll do and there’s one extra (koufeto); tuations of flowers, fresh-water that are a mainstay of every it.” that’s God.” pearls, crystals, rhinestones, sil - Greek Orthodox wedding. The For the bride and groom Traditionally in Greece, the ver leafing.” Crystal comes ei - koufeta symbolize the bitterness looking for someone who can boubounieres are distributed to ther clear or champagne-col - and sweetness of the married navigate the waters of an Or - the guests outside the church by ored. “We went from the life the couple is about to enter. thodox Christian wedding, Pap - the koumbaroi (best man traditional look of the porcelain and/or maid or matron of flowers on the stefana with honor) to the guests, signifying baby’s breath with a little bit of that they have witnessed the pearling to it, to adding rhine - marriage sacrament. But in our stones within the buds of the high-octane modern American flowers of the stefana, intertwin - society, some invited guests ing crystals, freshwater pearls, don’t make it to the church. In cords, and Greco-Roman leafing order to accommodate those (metallic laurel leafing).” guests, the boubounieres have She is no stranger to floral been presented for the past sev - design, either; if you want your eral years at the reception, to - wedding candles to match your gether with a favor, or small reception centerpieces, she can boxed gift that guests find at recreate them in silk. their table. “I work in conjunction with “What I tend to do is guide a florist, but I am also trained [the brides] first to pick the gift, with fresh flowers. So when you A wedding candle design covered with silk roses and soft latex then match up a décor that discuss with me what flowers calla lilies, metallic laurel leaves, and draped with tulle. “The matches the size of the box, and you want on your lampades laurel is the Greek touch,” says Pappas-Rogers. then attaching the boubouniera (candles), you’re talking to a to the box,” she said. person who’s also a floral de - old now, and Pappas-Rogers is Rogers decorates the Epitafios Pappas-Rogers has seen signer. What my couples do is still going strong. (Funeral Bier of Christ) at her boubounieres styles span a wide send a picture of their center - “When things happen to you church, St. Paraskevi in Green - range. Some people just want piece and I knock it off in silk,” and God still doesn’t take you, lawn, N.Y. “The Epitafios is my the basic, plain tulle wrapping; she said. it’s because you have to stay; give-back,” she said. others want to elaborate with Pappas-Rogers said she’s there’s still something that 3 Angels Gifts, Huntington, monograms, Swarovski crystals, maintained friendships with needs to be done,” she said. N.Y. Phone: 631-425-2476. By broaches, and buckles. For her many of her clients. “When I Every Holy Friday, Pappas- appointment only. niece’s wedding five years ago, take part in anybody’s wedding, Pappas-Rogers put a rhinestone or anybody’s christening, we broach on her boubouniera. maintain a friendship, and it’s The guiding principle of 3 as if I’m there performing the Angels Gifts, she said, is that it’s sacrament with you,” she said. all about the sacrament, and “I enjoy what I do. This is a pas - above all, staying within the sion.” budget. While still working as a nurse “Everybody gets caught up in at Mount Sinai Hospital in New these programs that are on the York, N.Y. and pregnant with television where you get this her second child, Pappas-Rogers elaborate wedding for free. That contracted cancer. She under - does not exist,” she said. “A went a mastectomy and sacrament is a sacrament. And chemotherapy during her preg - Some of 3 Angels Gifts creations: A set of free-standing wedding if you believe what you’re doing, nancy. When her baby was born, candles, with French lace covering the body of the candles it doesn’t matter in the end if she named her Antonia Zoe dotted with Swarovski crystals, pearls and sequins, and draped you’re wearing a gold crown or (“zoe” is the Greek word for with swags of raw silk cuffed with rhinestone broaching. a tin crown. It’s the sacrament “life.”). Antonia Zoe is 12 years

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TNH Staff correlates to a time of year or Married in 1997, this was a to a movie,” he said. “The most couple who both loved jazz, es - Most couples who choose to popular song was from ‘Titanic.’ pecially the jazz of the 1920s have music at their wedding cel - Nice song, but does it really cap - and 1930s, which is danceable ebration will probably follow ture what’s going on between and tuneful compared with the the custom of the “first dance,” you?” later jazz of the 1950s and the magical moment when they ENDLESS LOVE , sung by Li - 1960s. dance their very first dance to - onel Ritchie and Diana Ross The wife in particular (as gether as man and wife. It’s a “We just felt that with Christ, wives often do) wanted some - moment that will never be re - our love is endless,” said one thing romantic. She had her peated. Choose carefully, keep - woman of the song she and her heart set on Gershwin, who has ing your own and your partner’s husband chose at their early written some of the loveliest and preferences in mind. Some like 1980s wedding. “His love is in most romantic melodies of the to make grand entrance, take our relationship; He’s the reason 20th century, and felt it reflected lessons and really put on a show we came together.” their shared love of jazz and for their guests. Others prefer MOONLIGHT SERENADE, classic songwriting. to keep it low-key (=low stress; played by the Glenn Miller Or - They considered “The Man I after all, planning a wedding chestra Love,” “Our Love is Here to can be taxing enough!). Still Here’s an option for those Stay,” “Bess, You Is My Woman others are influenced by the lat - who want an instrumental tune, Now,” (from “Porgy and Bess”) est popular ballads: for exam - one with no lyrics, and a truly but finally agreed on “Embrace - ple, in 1998 many first dances timeless classic. The reader who able You” – gentle, romantic, but used “My Heart Will Go On” chose to dance to this with her not overly dramatic. from “Titanic” (despite the fact husband in 1995 said she chose that it was a farewell to a dead it because there were no words. GREEK POPULAR BALLADS lover!) “We wanted something with - In more recent years, some We checked in with some out lyrics,” she said. “Song lyrics Greek-American couples have couples who have been married are often so hackneyed, and been known to choose romantic a few years to ask what song ballads that are popular in they chose, and why. Most of Greece today, such as “Mazi them are appropriate for those Sou” (With You) sung by Nikos with limited dancing skills, who Vertis, “Ola se Sena ta Vrika” (I don’t want the extra stress of re - Found Everything in You), sung membering dance steps on their by Giannis Ploutarchos, “Eho wedding day; but for those who Trelathei Mazi Sou” (I’ve Gone want to make it extra special, Mad With You) sung by Giorgos these choices are adaptable to Mais, and “Emeina Edo” (I real dance steps as well. Read Stayed Here) sung by Stelios on and be inspired. Rokkos. AT LAST, sung by Etta James For more advice on how to Today, it may seem like it’s choose the first song you will been done to death, but in dance to, consider these tips: 1998, it was not the popular 1. What music inspires you? chestnut it is today said one Listen to a few different songs male reader who was married and pay attention to how they that year. affect you. “My wedding song was a 2. If you choose a song with bluesy song, very heartfelt,” he lyrics, make sure you read all said. “But the song I chose was the lyrics to the song, so you are sung by a woman who went sure the words represent your through a rough patch in her feelings about your relationship. life, and it correlated to the Don’t end up with a break-up rough patch that I had had. I song like “I Will Always Love thought there was a sense of You” or “Every Breath You Take” timelessness to it.” which sounds romantic but is He went on to describe the what you wound up hearing they lose their meaning.” actually a stalking song! first time he ever slow-danced were gasps (from the guests),” That made sense to us here 3. Try “The Knot” wedding with the woman who became he said. “People started tying up at TNH. It’s a rare song that planning website for ideas. It or - his wife. He had invited her over streamers together and tossing truly captures the fullness of ganizes couples’ personalities and made dinner for her, and them at us.” what is truly personal and inti - into to seven types, which can they slow-danced to Etta James’ In 1998, he remembered, the mate between two people. An help you choose an appropriate “At Last.” most popular first-dance song instrumental tune keeps the fo - music genre that agrees with After he proposed and the was “My Heart Will Go On,” be - cus on the two of you, without your image and level of senti - couple began planning their cause the film “Titanic” was the the distraction of words and mentality. wedding, he said he told his fi - most popular movie that year. whether they actually corre - 4. Don’t just pick whatever is ancée he wanted that to be their But he doesn’t advise choosing spond to your unique experi - most popular at the moment. song. “The poor thing, she a song based on its popularity ence. Your relationship is unique; your started crying,” he remembered. during the year of your wedding EMBRACEABLE YOU , music song should be too! Choose “As soon as we came out and I “Don’t pick a song that’s go - and lyrics by George and Ira something that has some special started dancing with my wife, ing to say, ‘Oh, your wedding Gershwin significance for you. 8 GREEK AMERICAN WEDDINGS 2013 THE NATIONAL HERALD, FEBRUARY 23, 2013 “A Unique Union of Two Beings In Love”

Marriage is practiced by conceived, in Roman law, as an resent the reward which is given Christians and non-Christians agreement between two free to those who fight the good alike, by atheists, by generations parties implied a substantial so - fight to the end of their life. of human beings who never cial progress, if compared to the They are a reminder that the heard what the word “sacra - concepts prevailing in other an - Christian marriage requires the ment” means. Man is born, gets cient civilizations. It provided couple to accept the Gospel of married, begets children, and the legal framework for the total Christ and bear His Cross in or - dies. These are the laws of na - emancipation of women and der to participate in His victory ture which God established and their legal equality to men. in the age to come. blessed; but marriage particu - The Christian Church, both The scripture reading from larly is singled out by the at the time of persecution and Ephesians 5 compares the mar - Church. The very special bless - during its alliance with the Ro - riage between the man and ing which it bestows upon the man State, accepted the Roman woman to the relationship be - man and the woman who get laws regulating marriage. Even tween Christ and the Church; married is called a “sacrament” when Christianity became the and the Gospel reading from (in Greek, “mysterion,” or “mys - prevailing State religion (of the John 2 tells the story of Jesus’ tery”). Why? Roman Empire), the ancient de - attendance at a wedding, which The very notion of marriage finitions of marriage as “con - was also the site of His first pub - as a sacrament (=mystery) pre - tract” continued to be accepted lic miracle, emphasizing that by supposes that man is not only a in State laws and even in the His presence, He blesses mar - being with physiological, psy - ecclesiastical laws. The Orthodox icon of Jesus (far left) performing His first miracle at the wedding in Cana, by riage as a whole. chological, and social functions, Every Christian couple desir - turning water into wine at the request of His mother (sitting next to Him). The account is The common cup is a rem - but that he is a citizen of God’s ing to marry went through the recorded in John 2:1-11, which is read at every Orthodox wedding ceremony. nant of marriage in the early Kingdom, i.e., that his entire life formalities of civil registration, church, when couples would re - – and especially its most deci - which gave it validity in secular Some couples merely asked for as a contract in human society) quired new liturgical forms sep - ceive Holy Communion to - sive moments – involves eternal society. Then, through their joint the blessing of the bishop during and the “sacred” (marriage as a arate from the Divine Liturgy. In gether. Today it merely signifies values and God Himself. participation in the regular Sun - the liturgy, as they did before sacrament in the Kingdom of the 10th and 11th centuries, the their entry into a shared life and It is impossible to understand day liturgy, in the presence of the crowning rite was initiated. God) was partially obliterated. Church in Byzantium developed responsibility. either the New Testament doc - the entire local Christian com - In the 10th century, Byzan - The Church was forced to bless the marriage ceremony we The service ends with the trine on marriage, or the very munity, they received the tine Emperor Leo VI passed a marriages which it did not ap - know today, which is consistent practice of the Ortho - Bishop’s blessing. It was then decree that a marriage between prove, and even to grant di - actually two services: dox Church, without seeing that their civil agreement also two free citizens must be sanc - vorces. In 906, Leo Vi forced the a betrothal and a Christian marriage in the con - became “sacrament,” with eter - tioned by a Church ceremony – Church to grant him a fourth crowning. They can, text of the Eucharist (Divine nal value, transcending their separate from its former context marriage – something which the and often have been, Liturgy). earthly lives because it was also in the Liturgy -- in order to be Church, under normal circum - celebrated separately. Actually, the “eucharistic” un - “inscribed in heaven” (Tertul - considered legal. Even before stances, could not bless. derstanding of marriage clearly lian, 2nd century) and not only this decree there was a close Slaves were exempt from this BETROTHAL illustrates what is the essential in a secular registry. It became connection between Church and law – especially since the sepa - The betrothal ser - Christian claim for man – an im - an eternal union in Christ. State, but this was the first time rate crowning ceremony was an vice is the new form age of God, destined to partici - the Church was asked to deter - added expense. But in the 11th of a marriage con - pation in divine life itself. (As WEDDING mine the legal status of mar - century, Emperor Alexis I Com - tract, with its ex - St. Athanasius of Alexandria fa - AS A SEPARATE RITE riages. As a result of this new nenos made it a legal obligation change of rings as a mously put it, “God became (Editor’s note: The Orthodox social responsibility the Church for slaves as well. “pledge.” However, man, so that man may become wedding ceremony as we know received, the distinction be - The new responsibility given the rings are not God.”) Christian marriage is also it today took centuries to de - tween the “secular” (marriage to the Church by these laws re - merely a pledge of an expression of this. velop. We will attempt here to mutual faithfulness In the New Testament, a to - summarize Rev. Meyendorff’s between the couple, but as the “Dance of Isaiah,” or a proces - tally new concept of marriage account of its history and devel - prayers reflect, they are a sym - sion around the table upon is being introduced: it is directly opment, occasionally paraphras - bol of God’s faithfulness to man which the Gospel book and a dependent upon the “Good ing for clarification.) throughout history and of His Cross are placed. The priest News” of the Resurrection Beginning in the fourth cen - blessing and support to the cou - leads the couple around the which was brought by Christ. A tury, a specific solemnization of ple. It involves not only the table three times, the circle rep - Christian is called -- already in the sacrament is mentioned by bridal pair, but God Himself, resenting eternity and that their this world -- to experience new Christian writers: a rite of and is the marriage contract as life together will revolve around life, to become a citizen in the “crowning” performed during the Church understands it. Christ. The hymns sung during Kingdom; and he can do so in the Divine Liturgy. According to the procession summarize the marriage. But then marriage St. John Chrysostom (who lived CROWNING Biblical content of Christian ceases to be either a simple sat - in that period), the crowns sym - This is the section that was marriage, which is called to be isfaction of temporal natural bolize victory over “passions.” originally part of the Divine a “witness” to the Kingdom of urges, or a means for securing From a letter of St. Theodore Liturgy. The original purpose of God. Another reference to an illusory survival through pos - the Studite in the ninth century, the crowns, as St. John Chrysos - crowns is made also: “O Holy terity. It is a unique union of two we learn that the crowning was tom said back in the fourth cen - Martyrs, who have fought the beings in love, two beings who accompanied by a brief prayer tury, was as a symbol of victory good fight and have received can transcend their own human - read “before the whole people” over unregulated passions, your crowns, entreat the Lord ity and thus be united not only at the Sunday liturgy, by the which bring about corruption that He will have mercy on our “with each other” but also “in bishop or priest. This prayer is and death. The crowns also are souls.” Christ.” still part of the wedding cere - a sign of glorification; the hymn mony we use today. However, Their right hands are joined and the bridal couple holds lit that is sung as the crowns are Excerpts from “Marriage: An THE EARLY CHURCH not all Christian couples were candles to symbolize they are inviting the Light of Christ to placed is “O Lord our God, Orthodox Perspective” By Rev. AND ROMAN LAW required by the church to par - guide their lives. With their crowning complete, they drink out crown them with glory and John Meyendorff (St. Vladimir’s The fact that marriage was ticipate in this crowning rite. of the common cup, a sign of their shared life and destiny. honor.” Finally, the crowns rep - Seminary Press, 1984)

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TNH Staff ticipating in people celebrating life, celebrating their relation - We caught up with Peter ship, celebrating their love. We Stavrianidis, principal owner of have different designer collec - Venus Jewelers in Somerset, tions; I also have my own col - N.J., who is the fourth genera - lection under the name of Peter tion in his family of jewelers. Samson, which is my a.k.a., and His grandfather and great- this is a collection of original grandfather were jewelers in pieces, one of a kind. Athens, his father had a store in We’re direct importers of di - Astoria, Queens, N.Y., and amonds. I personally go over - Stavrianidis has been in Somer - seas to the diamond centers of set for 34 years. We chatted the world, where the diamonds with him about some of the lat - Diamond studs, popular wedding gifts for brides are being traded, especially in est trends and tips for dia - Antwerp, Belgium, and I select monds, engagement rings, and Q: What is the most com - or platinum. You can see today some of the finest diamonds on what to look for when making the planet. Antwerp is probably a major jewelry purchase. the biggest trading center; New Q: Let’s talk engagement York is a trading center as well. rings. Do you usually get the We definitely are connected grooms coming in alone, or the with New York, but I also go the couple together? extra mile, directly to the source It could be either/or. The to get the most value and the past few years, we’ve seen a lot best, brightest diamonds. of guys taking the initiative to We’re very well known for come in. Some of them have a Verragio designer engagement rings, with their signature detail our custom designs. People few clues; some of them come and unique scrolling accents come in, we will create an item quite prepared with pictures; just according to their taste, ac - some of them come completely cording to their dreams. We will unprepared, but I would say the create a piece that is going to majority come in pretty well be completely theirs. We have a prepared to make a purchase, portfolio, so when somebody which was not the case years comes in, we’ll sit down and ago. It seems that the guys these we’ll draw something for them days take a lot of time to do re - while they wait. People will search on the diamond. They come in and show us a picture usually come with pictures, or from a magazine, and they will a good idea of the setting. ask us to do something similar Q: How would you advise a to that. Not only will we do it, man coming in to purchase but we’ll do it for much lesser something on his own, to sur - cost. prise his fiancée? Q: There has been talk over To get as many clues as pos - the years that the reason for the sible. Especially sometimes high prices of diamonds is the when they’re close to a jewelry cartel in Africa in the mines, and store, or to a mall, if he wants that there is not a free competi - to keep it a surprise, he can ask tion. Do you have any comment her indirectly, that “if you were on that? to receive an engagement ring, That’s not the case anymore. which one would you go for,” Rainbow colored pearls for bridesmaids gifts What makes a diamond so pre - something like this. And get as cious is because first of all, it much information as possible. takes hundreds of millions of Now as far as the center stone, monly requested shape? that probably 99 percent of the years to be created in the guts the diamond, is concerned, usu - The round. It’s the most bril - engagement rings that are being of the earth, and then the min - ally they do have some kind of liant, it’s the most popular, it’s sold are in white metal. So that’s ing is a very long process, very a hint if the lady likes the round the most resistant to trends. a major change of trend. Be - labor-intensive, and finally stone, the princess cut, or the Other shapes come and go, but cause platinum was more avail - when the rough comes out, it cushion. Sometimes they just the round remains very strong able; but again, not too many takes a few very experienced make a choice, they make the always. It’s followed by the people could afford platinum, people to cut the diamond and decision if they don’t have any princess, the cushion cut, the so another alternative was white to polish it and to make it what information. Asscher cut, and the radiant cut. gold, which looks just as good, it is. It has nothing to do with Q: What categories should But the most popular is by far but it’s not as expensive. So the cartel. It has to do with the one look for in a diamond? the round. white metal became very promi - process, and that’s why the an - The shape of the diamond, Q: What kinds of trends have nent; and fine diamonds look cient Greeks named the dia - the size of the diamond, and the Diamond wedding bands you seen come and go in en - better in white gold as opposed mond “adamas” which means quality of the diamond: these gagement rings? to yellow gold. At this point, it’s “adamastos,” which in English are the three categories. The Up until the ‘70s and ‘80s, pretty much established that is “adamant,” in other words, shape would be number one. that quality. Size matters, but round brilliant, a pear shape (al - yellow gold was the primary white metal is the metal to go “unconquerable,” “invincible,” Usually number 2 and 3, it’s the the quality matters even more. though that is not that common precious metal that was used. with. because it has such power. So guy that makes the decision that But I would say the shape is these days), a princess, a cush - Come the ‘90s, the trend was to We are selling not just a all of the above contribute to he’s going to get that size and number one, whether it be a ion, an Asscher, any of those. white metals, either white gold product or a service; we are par - the value.

This traditional wedding son is sung to the bride, by her girlfriends and family, as she is dressing:

Today a wedding, today a wedding is happening In a beautiful orchard, in a beautiful orchard

Today is being parted, today is being parted The mother from the daughter, the mother from the daughter

Bridegroom, the bride, the bride you must love Do not scold her, do not scold her

Like the basil, like the basil plant in the earth You will delight in her, you will delight in her

Arise, proud, arise, proud eagle And open your wings, and open your wings

So she may fly, so the partridge may fly That you have in your arms, that you have in your arms. 10 GREEK AMERICAN WEDDINGS 2013 THE NATIONAL HERALD, FEBRUARY 23, 2013

Generations of Rural Greek Weddings

LEFT: A bride and groom in late 19th-century Macedonia ABOVE RIGHT: A bride is taken by her family to her wedding, dressed in their traditional wedding costumes. accompanied by the rest of the village, most likely 1950s. The ABOVE LEFT: A couple weds outdoors, circa 1930. By this time, bride’s gown uses more fabric than would have been available Greek bridal couples had already begun adopting the western during World War II or the Greek civil war. The style of the white Victorian wedding gowns and suits. gown and her hair also indicate the 1950 era.

The pomegranate, an ancient Greek wedding symbol of marriage and fertility, was considered sacred to the god - dess Hera, the goddess of women and marriage.

ABOVE: A village wedding, likely set in the 1960s from the clothes worn by the 3 Angels Gifts younger women and the brides’s hairstyle (parted in MADE WITH A UNIQUE TOUCH the middle). Nevertheless, EVENT PLANNING AND SPECIALTY ITEMS some remnants of the old FOR YOUR SACRAMENTS world remain. •Stefana • Lambades • Vaptistika • Ladorouxa •Boubounieres • Bridal Baskets •Shower Baskets By appointment Tel.: (631) 425-2476 - Fax: (631) 659-3471 e-mail: [email protected] Huntington, New York

RIGHT: A traditional wed - ding bed, decorated with the bride’s “dowry,” which in - cludes hand-made bed linens

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TNH Staff Writers volve some kind of chocolate. I Greek crowd, I would say more just took an order the other day, that than the wedding cake. A conversation with Regina just as an example, a wedding They have to have their Greek Katopodis, who has owned Ar - cake and a baptism together. delicacies on the table, you topolis Bakery in Astoria since They were getting married first know, platters. 2003, revealed that although and then christening their baby. Q: So you get more requests her wedding cakes are among One cake had to complement for those than for actual cakes, the most sought-after in cos - the other. We had a tasting, they among the Greeks? mopolitan New York City, the brought their mother and their Right. You get mixed mar - Greek neighborhood bakery father and everybody tasted, but riages, the bride is Greek and maintains its community roots. it came down to the bride and the groom isn’t, or the groom is And those reach all the way groom. The groom loved choco - Greek and bride isn’t, they have across the Atlantic to the late and the bride loved fruit. to have the flavors of Greece on kitchens of ordinary Greek So what we did was a chocolate each table, and they do the homemakers. Read on for a fun truffle, which is a chocolate amygdalota, the mini conversation with the colorful sponge, chocolate mousse and baklavadakia, kourambiedes, baker and café owner whose chocolate ganache, and we put diples, that type of thing. fans include the Turkish consul fresh raspberries in the mousse, Q: I know you’ve only been to New York! and we put together the taste here since 2003, but seems like Q: What’s your approach to that they both loved. But I you’ve been here forever. creating a wedding cake? would say 90 percent of my cou - A lot of people ask how long For all my wedding cakes, I ples want some sort of choco - have you been here, I say 9 sit down with the bride and late. years, and they say “That’s all?” groom. I find out their love Q: What kinds of trends have They do. But you know I think story, I find what they like, what you seen in the past couple of also what plays a role is we got they don’t like. Some grooms years? right into it, and all our recipes like to take charge of the cake, Well, the trend definitely is are not Artopolis recipes. some mother-in-laws like to a smaller wedding. Of course They’re not recipes that were take charge of the cake, some - the cake is the centerpiece, so new. These recipes have been Kourambiedes and other Greek delicacies are among the bakery’s most popular items for Greek times the bride comes in by her - whether you’re getting married taken out of people’s homes in weddings. self. The most important thing in a restaurant or a catering Greece, so like I almost feel like is that always the cake is the re - hall, it’s all the same to us. We we’re an embassy for the Greek flection of the young couple. Or take the same care and try to housewife. recipes and we just keep them. thing, and we put mastiha and koulourakia, we buy the orange old couple. I never let them make it exactly the way they Q: So the recipes that you The greatest compliment to me mahlepi in our tsourekia. In fact, nectar from Greece and put it leave unless they’re happy with want it. But I notice, instead of use are not all recipes that you is when a housewife comes in the Turkish consulate comes to in, because that’s the way the look of the cake -- and that's having a cake for 350 people, yourself have created? and says, “Oh, I was so busy this my store and buys the tsoureki. they’re made. That’s how de - how most of our customers the average now is up to 100. Oh no, they’re not. Our melo - year, I didn’t have time to make He says, “Not even in Turkey tailed we get. Our mini baklava, leave. Some do 50. You know, a makarona are from Mitilini, our my koulourakia,” and they buy can I find a tsoureki like this.” we import sheep’s milk from A while ago I had a pregnant smaller wedding. kourambiedes are Kyria Roza’s them from us. There’s not a He’s in here three times a week. Greece and then we clarify it bride, and she wanted a preg - Q: About how many of your from Volos, the rice pudding is commercial feel in here. He comes all the way to Asto - here. We change nothing. We go nant bride on the top of her bridal parties are Greek? my mother-in-law’s; everything The tsourekia recipe is from ria. to great pains to keep every - cake. It took a lot of work, but I I would say as of now, maybe has come out of somebody’s Konstantinoupoli. I think the Q:That is really a testament. thing as authentic as it possibly found one! So we try to accom - 60 percent. home. And that’s why I think recipe dates back to 1700-some - Even for our orange can be. modate everyone. Q: And do they also ask for maybe people think we’ve been Q: What are the most popu - the additional Greek delicacies, here longer than we have, be - lar flavors people ask for? like the kourambiedes…? cause not much has changed. I would say most of them in - Oh yes. In fact, among the We’ve taken these old-fashioned

For weddings or baptisms, Artopolis can provide the award-winning Hatzigiannakis koufeta, considered the best in the world. The almonds inside are covered with a thin layer of chocolate under the sugar coating. They are available in many flavors, including orange (a favorite of Greek brides), lemon, champagne, coconut, watermelon, and tiramisu, among others. The flat ones contain no almonds, but only solid Belgian chocolate. The tradition is to use only white koufeta for weddings, but Katopodis sees some brides mix in colored koufeta to match their bridal colors. “At some of the bridal shows, even the Italians come over to our booth for the Hatzigiannakis koufeta,” Katopodis said.

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© 12 GREEK AMERICAN WEDDINGS 2013 THE NATIONAL HERALD, FEBRUARY 23, 2013