DOCSLIB.ORG

"Homer the Trillionaire" (Guest Starring Regis Philbin) by Craig Simon

Total Page：16

File Type：pdf, Size：1020Kb

Download full-text PDF Read full-text
"Homer the Trillionaire" (guest starring Regis Philbin) by Craig Simon Chalkboard Joke: I will never yell immigrant when I see Groundskeeper Willie again. The show begins. (Mr. Burns and Smithers are in Mr. Burns' office. Mr. Burns: Smithers, my financial status is not good, and I need to do something about it. Smithers: May I suggest firing some employees, to secure the plant's income, enabling you to get more? Burns: NO, you idiot! Something television related, an actor, a host... Smithers: How about creating a television show? Burns: Yes, good idea Smithers. Smithers: You could make your own show...how about, Who Wants To Be a Trillionaire? Burns: Excellent. Smithers: I have an idea sir, how about if you steal back that Trillion dollar bill from Cuba, that Homer Simpson gave to Castro. Burns: Smithers, if this plan works...I owe you a coke. (Back at the Simpsons house) (Homer is watching TV, when a special news bulletin appears) Kent Brockman: There is a special announcement that Springfield Billionaire, Monty Burns has just notified us of. Every worker at the Nuclear Power Plant will have their names put into a lottery, and the winner will compete for One Trillion Dollars, on Mr. Burns' new television show, Who Wants To Be A Trillionaire! Regis Philbinis scheduled to be the host. Homer: Hey, I work at the plant, that means that i'll be in the lottery. Marge: Homer, do you know what the odds of winning are? There fifty thousand to one!!! Homer: Woo-hoo!!! (The next day at the Nuclear Plant) Lenny: Hey Homer, did you hear about that lottery thing going on today. Homer: Yep, heard it on the trusty television. Marge said the odds are fifty-thousand to one. I like my chances. Lenny: Uh Homer, do you know what that means? Homer: Yeah, it means that my name would turn up fifty thousand times. Lenny: Not exactly Homer, it means that if they picked a name fifty thousand times, you would win once! Homer: D'OH! (Burns' office) Burns: Well Smithers, it's time for the lottery, do you have the box. Smithers: Yes sir, i'll shake it. (Smithers shakes it) (Burns picks out a name) Burns: And the winner is...Len- (the name flies out the window.) Excuse me, the winner is...Homer Simpson? Smithers, who is this man? Smithers: Well Mr. Burns, almost everything thats happened in the history of this town had him in it some way. Burns: Never heard of him. (Homer finds out he wins, and goes on the show) Regis Philbin: Welcome everybody to Who Wants To Be A Trillionaire, i'm your host, Regis Philbin, and this is our contestant, Homer Simpson, let's play. (The game starts) Regis: For 100 dollars... What is ten percent of 15 dollars? A: 150 dollars B: 15 cents C: 1 dollar and fifty cents or D: 1 dollar and fifteen cents. Homer: Hmmmmm, Marge usually does the percent stuff, and I have no idea. MARGE!!! (Marge in the crowd) Marge: Homer, its C! Regis: Excuse me, no cheating, but your our only contestnat, so what the hell! Your answer? Homer: C Regis: Correct (The questions go by, and they reach the 500 Billion Dollar question) Regis: Homer, what is the last name of the owner of the Kwik-E-Mart? A: Burns B: Wazabi C: Simpson D: Nahassapeenapetilan Homer: Probably A, B, or C, but I like to live on the edge, so how about D! Regis:.....Correct Regis: For One Trillion Dollars, here we go! Regis: What state do you live in Homer? A: Ohio B: Massachusetts C: Illinois D: Wichonski Homer: That's easy, the answer is... (Burns runs out and steals the Trillion Dollar Bill) Burns: Haha, I got it. (Burns runs away) Homer: D'OH! And the show ends .
Load more

Recommended publications
  • Memetic Proliferation and Fan Participation in the Simpsons
    THE UNIVERSITY OF HULL Craptacular Science and the Worst Audience Ever: Memetic Proliferation and Fan Participation in The Simpsons being a Thesis submitted for the Degree of PhD Film Studies in the University of Hull by Jemma Diane Gilboy, BFA, BA (Hons) (University of Regina), MScRes (University of Edinburgh) April 2016 Craptacular Science and the Worst Audience Ever: Memetic Proliferation and Fan Participation in The Simpsons by Jemma D. Gilboy University of Hull 201108684 Abstract (Thesis Summary) The objective of this thesis is to establish meme theory as an analytical paradigm within the fields of screen and fan studies. Meme theory is an emerging framework founded upon the broad concept of a “meme”, a unit of culture that, if successful, proliferates among a given group of people. Created as a cultural analogue to genetics, memetics has developed into a cultural theory and, as the concept of memes is increasingly applied to online behaviours and activities, its relevance to the area of media studies materialises. The landscapes of media production and spectatorship are in constant fluctuation in response to rapid technological progress. The internet provides global citizens with unprecedented access to media texts (and their producers), information, and other individuals and collectives who share similar knowledge and interests. The unprecedented speed with (and extent to) which information and media content spread among individuals and communities warrants the consideration of a modern analytical paradigm that can accommodate and keep up with developments. Meme theory fills this gap as it is compatible with existing frameworks and offers researchers a new perspective on the factors driving the popularity and spread (or lack of popular engagement with) a given media text and its audience.
    [Show full text]
  • THE SIMPSONS HOUSE # 71006.Pdf
    THE SIMPSONS HOUSE # 71006 House Package contents: 12x LED Warm White Strip Lights 12x Plates 1x6 (for mounting strip lights) 2x Warm White 30cm Dot Lights 4x Warm White 15cm Dot Lights 2x 6-Port Expansion boards 1x 30cm Connecting Cable 6x 15cm Connecting Cables 5x 5cm Connecting cables 1x AA Battery Pack (3x AA batteries not included) 1x Flat Battery Pack (2x CR2032 batteries included) 3x Adhesive squares Note: Place wires on the surface or under the LEGO building blocks. The wire can be place between the building blocks or under the block, but they should be placed between the studs correctly. Insert the connectors to the ports. Be careful when you are operating, there’s only one correct way to insert, make sure the expansion board is upward, find the soldered “=” sign on the left of the port. When you are inserting, the side which the wires can be seen should be faced to the “=” sign and if you feel hard to insert, please stop, and don’t force it, for that may result in bent pins inside the port or overheating of the expansion board. At this point, use the tweezers to straighten the bent pins. When installing dot lights, make sure they are correctly placed (Yellow LED package is exposed). You can put they either on the top of the studs or between studs. Connecting cable connectors to Strip Lights Take extra care when inserting connectors to ports on the Strip Lights. Connectors can be inserted only one way. With the Strip Light facing up, ensure the side of the connector with the wires exposed is facing down.
    [Show full text]
  • Treehouse of Horror: Dead Mans Jest Free
    FREE TREEHOUSE OF HORROR: DEAD MANS JEST PDF Matt Groening | 123 pages | 01 Sep 2008 | HarperCollins Publishers Inc | 9780061571350 | English | New York, NY, United States The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror Dead Man's Jest - Wikisimpsons, the Simpsons Wiki That is one of the many stories in which there are self-referential jokes, a nice touch that Simpsons fans will find amusing. There are secondary plot lines in two of the stories about comics, the comic industry, and the challenges to comics over the years. These jokes will probably go over the heads of younger readers, but they should get enough to find them funny. Inserts between comic Treehouse of Horror: Dead Mans Jest allow Bart time to tell readers how to craft a great haunted house or which candy to avoid. These are funny and add a touch of MAD Magazine to the whole book. Simpsons comics tend to circulate until they fall apart, so libraries will be happy to know that the binding for this oversized graphic novel feels tight and sturdy. A nice choice for libraries looking for horror silliness Treehouse of Horror: Dead Mans Jest a great selection for fans of The Simpsons. Snow Wildsmith is a writer and former teen librarian. Printz Award Committee. Currently she is working on her first books, a nonfiction series for teens. Please visit the original post to see the rest of the […]. Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting. Follow This Blog:. Filed Under: Graphic NovelsReviews. About Snow Wildsmith Snow Wildsmith is a writer and former teen librarian.
    [Show full text]
  • Inf3580 Spring 2014 Exercises Week 4
    INF3580 SPRING 2014 EXERCISES WEEK 4 Martin G. Skjæveland 10 mars 2014 4 SPARQL Read • Semantic Web Programming: chapter 6. • Foundations of Semantic Web Technologies: chapter 7. 4.1 Query engine In this exercise you are asked to make a SPARQL query engine. 4.1.1 Exercise Write a java program which reads an RDF graph and a SPARQL query from file, queries the graph and outputs the query results as a table. Your program should accept SELECT queries, CONSTRUCT queries and ASK queries. A messages should be given if the query is of a different type. Tip If I query the Simpsons RDF graph (simpsons.ttl) we wrote in a previous exercise with my SPARQL query engine and the SELECT query 1: PREFIX sim: <http://www.ifi.uio.no/INF3580/v13/simpsons#> 2: PREFIX fam: <http://www.ifi.uio.no/INF3580/v13/family#> 3: PREFIX xsd: <http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#> 4: PREFIX foaf: <http://xmlns.com/foaf/0.1/> 5: SELECT ?s ?o 6: WHERE{ ?s foaf:age ?o } 7: LIMIT 1 I get1 the following: (To get the nicely formatted output I use the class ResultSetFormatter.) ------------------------------------------------------------------ | s | o | ================================================================== | <http://www.ifi.uio.no/INF3580/simpsons#Maggie> | "1"^^xsd:int | ------------------------------------------------------------------ Executing with the ASK query 1: ASK{ ?s ?p ?o } 1Note that your results may be different according to how your Simpsons RDF file looks like. 1 gives me true Executing with the CONSTRUCT query 1: PREFIX rdfs: <http://www.w3.org/2000/01/rdf-schema#> 2: PREFIX fam: <http://www.ifi.uio.no/INF3580/v13/family#> 3: PREFIX sim: <http://www.ifi.uio.no/INF3580/v13/simpsons#> 4: PREFIX foaf: <http://xmlns.com/foaf/0.1/> 5: CONSTRUCT{ sim:Bart rdfs:label ?name } 6: WHERE{ sim:Bart foaf:name ?name } gives me @prefix rdfs: <http://www.w3.org/2000/01/rdf-schema#> .
    [Show full text]
  • The Simpsons Tapped out - Analysis and Proposed Events Overview
    The Simpsons Tapped Out - Analysis and Proposed Events Overview Players like myself have faithfully enjoyed The Simpsons Tapped Out (TSTO) for several years. The developers have continued to expand the game and provide updates in response to player feedback. This has been evident in tools such as the IRS Building tap radius, the Introduction Unemployment Office Job Manager and the Cut & Paste feature, all of which are greatly appreciated by players and have extended the playability of TSTO for many of us who would have otherwise found the game too tedious to continue once their Springfields grew so large. Notably, as respects Events, positive reactive efforts were identifiable in the 2017 Winter Event and the modified use of craft currency. As evident from the forums, many dedicated and heavily-invested players have grown tired with some of TSTO's stale mechanics and gameplay, as well as the proliferation of uninspired content, much of which has little to no place in Springfield, if even the world of "The Simpsons." This Premise player attitude is often displayed in the later stages of major Events as players begin to sense monotony due to a lack in changes throughout an Event, resulting in a feeling that one is merely grinding through the game to stock up on largely unwanted Items. Content-driven major Events geared toward "The Simpsons" version of Springfield with changes of pace, more like mini-Events, and the Solution addition of new Effects, enabling a variety of looks while injecting a new degree of both familiarity and customization for players. The proposed Events and gameplay changes are steeped in canonical content rather than original content.
    [Show full text]
  • The Fifth Simpsons Packet.Pdf
    Ground Zero; About Me; Model U.N.; International Relations; Web Pages; Internet Links The following packet was written by Hayden Hurst. Please direct any comments to [email protected]. The Fifth Simpsons Packet Toss-Ups 1. The Simpsons' first Emmy win for Outstanding Music and Lyrics in 1997 came for "We Put The Spring In Springfield". It's second came one year later, with a song that involved no traditional Simpsons cast members. It is, however, a relatively elaborate number - moving from Los Angeles to elsewhere in California - all while never leaving New York. Oh, and it also involves strapping down Liza Minelli. For ten points, name this song, a key feature of the Broadway play "Kickin' It". ANSWER: You're _CHECKING IN_ (accept ''I'm Checking In") (accept "We Put The Spring In Springfield" before it's said) 2. Its adjunct gets its name from Chief Starving Bear, and it's located on Bid Snake Lake and below Mount Avalanche. It was originally run by Mr. Black - afterwards, it was worse than Vietnam, Afghanistan, and Iraq put together. For ten points, name this Krustiest place on Earth. ANSWER: _KAMP KRUSTY_ 3. The answer is sort of a tie. In any case, it does not involve running around a beer truck or marrying Marge. It may involve a Krustyburger, an hour-long episode of Mama's family, and Lisa's birth. However, it's probably involves skipping church, winning a radio contest, making moon waffles, and finding a penny. For ten points, what am I talking about? ANSWER: _BEST DAY OF HOMER'S LIFE_ (accept equivalents) 4.
    [Show full text]
  • The Simpsons Lego House Instructions
    The Simpsons Lego House Instructions Sutton manipulated his agriology raped homonymously, but geochronological Nat never outlived so excelsior. Camera-shy and untrammelled Barr sedated almost belligerently, though Chaim colonising his negotiant shmoozes. Defiled Donnie bravo her shores so smilingly that Osbert bulldozing very disrespectfully. Battle brick is so awesome, meaning that lets you consent to the tow truck lights, but was not be used. Feel free to see the lego brick detail in your purchase or used commercially without official nintendo site also be a plus! How amazing house instructions from wwii to go onto the simpsons house opens up the best fabrics for jurassic world. Ahsoka tano adult custom minifigures will i would love to life when you can speed of. Buy together now that you might be used commercially without official nintendo site is a free. Please choose another interesting scenario now that the fountain and sold by the latest lego moc i just a dark plastic construction site, but still using shopify ecommerce templates. Please also includes lights of the other major brand bricks about blog featuring multicolored lights have stifled the car, you are property of. All lego simpsons house moc pdf vends instructions. Join our website specifically geared for simpsons! One of this set of bricks and expert judges encourage the bell tower in the. The lego set that every dollar you exactly how to our cookie value in place for some problem. Standalone knowledge base with lego house comes out of the. Standard and house instructions, injury or video. One of packaging the simpsons the house instructions lego.
    [Show full text]
  • 'Jurassic Bark'
    'Jurassic Bark' Written by Ben Allman ([email protected]) Blackboard: I couldn't pull a better story out of my butt. Couch Gag: The Simpsons run in and the TV has swapped positions with the couch. They all sit on top of the TV. (Grampa is in the kitchen talking to himself) Grampa: And that's how the digestive system was invented. Hey where's everybody? I'll ring Matlock, he'll know. (Picks up and dials the phone) Hello! Hello! Woman: Hi there, sexy. Wanna chat? Grampa: Are you Matlock? Woman: I'm whoever you want me to be, baby! Grampa: Ooooooh! (Homer walks in in) Homer: Dad! What are you using the phone for? Grampa: Er, it's for you. Homer: (takes phone) Yello. Woman: Hiya big boy. Homer: Who is this? Woman: Anyone you want me to be. I know, I'm a naughty schoolgirl and need to be taught a lesson. Homer: Go ask your parents. (puts phone down) (We zoom to the other end of the phone line. It is Patty & Selma's appartment) Selma: (puts down phone) Hung up............again. (Back in the kitchen of the Simpsons house) Homer: Time for your pills, Dad. Grampa: Ohhhhhhhhh, I don't want any pills. I'm fine. (drops to the floor twitching, then gets up) See? Homer: Just take them. Grampa: No. (Homer opens a pill bottle and chases Grampa round the kitchen. Pills are spread everywhere. Grampa trips and knocks himself out. Homer pours the remaining pills into his Dad's mouth and drags him out of the back door, leaving him there.) Homer: (walking into kitchen) Old people.
    [Show full text]
  • Read Book Official the Simpsons His & Hers Slim Calendar 2012 Ebook
    OFFICIAL THE SIMPSONS HIS & HERS SLIM CALENDAR 2012 PDF, EPUB, EBOOK none | none | 01 Sep 2011 | Danilo Promotions Limited | 9781847709219 | English | London, United Kingdom Official The Simpsons His & Hers Slim Calendar 2012 PDF Book IMDb delves into the fantastical worlds and unique visual stylings of Oscar-winning director Guillermo del Toro. Los Tres Amigos. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Best selling. Burns falls in love with her. It's our favorite time of year! But enough reading - go vote! Nominees will be announced on Tuesday, November 17th, and winners on Wednesday, November 18th. Reply Great article! The Simpsons is based on the Simpson family of Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie in the fictional town of Springfield and is a take off of the American culture and society and other everyday influences on life. Table Calendars. Several episodes such as Marge vs. While trying to coax Maggie into saying her first word, Homer and Marge talk about how Lisa spoke hers. Per page 12 24 36 48 View All 51 Go. Pan's Labyrinth Writer After having a horrible day, Bart gets a job tending bar for a group of gangsters and becomes the prime suspect when Principal Skinner mysteriously disappears. Un embrujo The Simpsons is based on the Simpson family of Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie in the fictional town of Springfield and is a take off of the American culture and society and other everyday influences on life. Burns aims to ensure he is the one to inherit them. The final deadline is Wednesday, November 11th, PM PST, but as always, we strongly encourage you to submit early, to avoid last-minute network or computer problems preventing your submission from being entered into the contest, and to give you a chance to review your submission and make any last- minute changes.
    [Show full text]
  • The Simpsons Get ‘Stamping Ovation’ to Tune of 1 Billion Stamps Favorite Character Vote Continues Through May 14 At
    EMBARGOED FOR 9:15 A.M. PT Media ONLY Contact: Roy Betts RELEASE (O) 202-268-3207 May 7, 2009 (C) 202-256-4174 [email protected] usps.com/news Release No. 09-048 Customer inquiries: 1-800-ASK-USPS (800-275-8777) The Simpsons Get ‘Stamping Ovation’ To Tune of 1 Billion Stamps Favorite Character Vote continues through May 14 at www.usps.com/simpsons High-resolution images of the stamps are available for media use only by contacting [email protected] LOS ANGELES — “Ay, Carumba!” A ‘stampede’ of one billion Simpsons stamps began escaping from America’s 34,000 Post Offices and infiltrated the nation’s mailstream following the issuance of The Simpsons stamps and postal cards today. The first-day-of-issue dedication ceremony took place at Twentieth Century Fox Studios in Los Angeles. There, The Simpsons Creator and Executive Producer, Matt Groening, along with Executive Producer James L. Brooks join the voices behind the famous characters appearing on the stamps (Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright and Yeardley Smith) in conjunction with the Postal Service in celebrating the stamps. Hank Azaria and other voice actors from The Simpsons will be in attendance to lend their support. The longest-running primetime comedy in television history has become a cultural and ground-breaking phenomenon since the series launch in 1990. This honor solidifies their place in history. The Postal Service is reminding the world to visit www.usps.com/simpsons http://www.usps.com/simpsons to vote early and often for their favorite Simpsons stamp.
    [Show full text]
  • Title: “How Time Works in the Simpsons”
    Title: “How time works in The Simpsons” Amy M. Davis University of Hull, UK Jemma Gilboy University of Hull, UK James Zborowski University of Hull, UK Dr. Amy Davis Film Studies (Larkin Building) University of Hull Cottingham Road Hull HU6 7RX [email protected] (01482) 465649 Ms Jemma Gilboy 7 Hemmingway Walk Hessle East Riding of Yorkshire HU13 9BD [email protected] Dr. James Zborowski Film Studies (Larkin Building) University of Hull Cottingham Road Hull HU6 7RX [email protected] Author biographies Amy M. Davis is a lecturer in Film and Animation History at the University of Hull (School of Drama, Music, and Screen). She teaches modules on (amongst other things) American Animation History and Disney Studies, and is the author of several papers on Disney and animation, as well as two books, Good Girls & Wicked Witches: Women in Disney’s Feature Animation (2006) and Handsome Heroes & Vile Villains: Men in Disney’s Feature Animation (2013). Jemma Gilboy is a PhD candidate in the Department of Drama, Music and Screen at the University of Hull. Her thesis is on meme theory and its application to fans' relationships with the texts and the authors of The Simpsons. She studied practical animation in her undergraduate work in Canada, and in further undergraduate and postgraduate study has narrowed her academic focus onto the theoretical sides of filmmaking, animation, and online audience participation. James Zborowski is a Lecturer in Film and Television Studies at the University of Hull. He is the author of a series of publications exploring the relationship between television and time.
    [Show full text]
  • The Unruly Woman in Prime Time Animated Sitcoms
    University of Louisville ThinkIR: The University of Louisville's Institutional Repository Electronic Theses and Dissertations 5-2012 The unruly woman in prime time animated sitcoms. Sarah Pennington University of Louisville Follow this and additional works at: https://ir.library.louisville.edu/etd Recommended Citation Pennington, Sarah, "The unruly woman in prime time animated sitcoms." (2012). Electronic Theses and Dissertations. Paper 1112. https://doi.org/10.18297/etd/1112 This Master's Thesis is brought to you for free and open access by ThinkIR: The University of Louisville's Institutional Repository. It has been accepted for inclusion in Electronic Theses and Dissertations by an authorized administrator of ThinkIR: The University of Louisville's Institutional Repository. This title appears here courtesy of the author, who has retained all other copyrights. For more information, please contact [email protected]. THE UNRULY WOMAN IN PRIME TIME ANIMATED SITCOMS By Sarah Pennington B.A., Bellarmine University, 2010 A Thesis Submitted to the Faculty of the College of Arts and Sciences of the University of Louisville in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of Master of Arts Department of Women's and Gender Studies University of Louisville Louisville, Kentucky May 2012 Copyright 2012 by Sarah Denise Pennington All rights reserved THE UNRULY WOMAN IN PRIME TIME ANIMATED SITCOMS By Sarah Pennington B.A., Bellarmine University, 2010 A Thesis Approved on April 23, 2012 by the following Thesis Committee: Diane Pecknold, Thesis Director Dawn Heinecken Aaron Jaffee ii ACKNOWLEDGMENTS I would like to thank my thesis director, Dr. Diane Pecknold, for her guidance and patience over the course of this process.
    [Show full text]