Coming out Experiences of Non-Heterosexuals and Their Families in Japan

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Coming out Experiences of Non-Heterosexuals and Their Families in Japan Title Coming Out Experiences of Non-heterosexuals and their Families in Japan Author(s) 元山, 琴菜 Citation Issue Date Text Version ETD URL https://doi.org/10.18910/56037 DOI 10.18910/56037 rights Note Osaka University Knowledge Archive : OUKA https://ir.library.osaka-u.ac.jp/ Osaka University Coming Out Experiences of Non-heterosexuals and Their Families in Japan: Asserting Normality and Preserving Harmony by Kotona Motoyama B.A. (San Francisco State University) 2009 M.A. (University of Hawaii at Manoa) 2011 A dissertation submitted in partial satisfaction of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy in Human Sciences in the Graduate School of Human Sciences of Osaka University Advisors: Kazue Muta, Primary Daisuke Tsuji Scott North March 2016 ABSTRACT In a heteronormative and homophobic environment, coming out to one’s self and others is a challenging experience for non-heterosexuals. Specifically, coming out to their own families is considerably more difficult because family is seen as a vital part of life. Family members also face difficulties “understanding” and “accepting” the fact that one of their members is a non-heterosexual. The studies of non-heterosexual coming out and the experiences of family members have developed mainly in the field of Western psychoanalysis. Only a few examples exist in Japan. Previous research neglected cultural specificities, but nevertheless predicted that the experiences of non-heterosexuals and their families would differ in different societies with different norms and cultural values. This paper explores how the experiences of non-heterosexuals and their families were affected by Japanese cultural norms of interaction, family and gender. Interviews with 24 non- heterosexuals revealed that they had to deal with “perceived homophobia,” which was created by the expectation of “respectable Japanese selves,” in addition to heteronormativity and homophobia. Interviewing family members in 12 families with non-heterosexual members clarified the character of the struggle over “accepting” and disclosing non-heterosexual members to others as due to the fear of courtesy stigma. This stigma existed in society generally but was even stronger in the more intimate sphere called seken. Seken refers to “human relationships with people one knows,” in which Japanese need to value their sameness with others to preserve harmony and through which they gain the meaning of their existence. Thus, family members emphasized non-heterosexual members being “normal or ordinary [futsuu]” in order to “accept” non-heterosexual members and to manage courtesy stigma. In proclaiming the normality of non-heterosexual members, they recalibrated heteronormativity inside and outside the family. Insisting that having a non-heterosexual member was futsuu was used as a i strategy [“futsuu strategy”] of family preservation. They reconstructed their family including the non-heterosexual member and redefining their family as futsuu. However, this also perpetuated the force of seken and reproduced heteronormativity. In sum, the Western studies and theories were not fully able to explain the case of non- heterosexuals and their families in the Japanese context, because their experiences were highly influenced by cultural norms and values prioritizing others’ feelings regarding Japanese social order to maintain harmony within seken over individual identity and opinions. This study therefore contributes to the universal understanding about non-heterosexuals and their families. ii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I would like to thank everyone who is involved with my research. I would like to show my appreciation, especially to those who decided to participate in my interview and shared their experiences. There were some non-heterosexual participants who were still undecided about their sexuality and uncomfortable being in public as members of sexual minorities. Furthermore, there were some participants of family members who were in the middle of struggle and conflicts over “understanding” and “accepting” non-heterosexual members. I was honored to listen to their stories despite the fact that the interview made some respondents recall rough experiences with themselves, families and larger society. Moreover, I appreciate the sexual minority organizations, community and its participants for allowing me to be a participant observer. I also would like to acknowledge the help of my colleagues in constructing stronger argument and their encouragement; especially a former office-mate, Charles Nguyen, in his help on the English translation and advice. Finally, I would like to express my great appreciation to the Primary Advisor, Professor Muta, and the Secondary Advisors, Professor Tsuji and North, who have supported me with precise and critical suggestions. Without their help, I would not have been able to complete my work with confidence. iii LIST OF CONTENTS Abstract ...................................................................................................................................... i Acknowledgements ................................................................................................................ iii List of Contents ....................................................................................................................... iv List of Table .......................................................................................................................... viii List of Figure ........................................................................................................................... ix Preface: Is Japan Behind in Human Rights Compared to Western Countries? ................ 1 Research Interests ...................................................................................................................... 1 Outline of This Dissertation ....................................................................................................... 4 Chapter 1. Non-heterosexuals and Their Families in a Heteronormative and Homophobic Society ................................................................................................................ 6 1.1. Three Types of Sexualities: Physical Sexuality, Sexual Identity and Sexual Orientation .. 6 1.1.1. LGBT, Sexual Minorities and Non-heterosexuals ............................................... 7 1.2. History of Oppression against Non-heterosexual in the US and Japan .............................. 8 1.2.1. Gay Liberation in the US: The Stonewall Riot and HIV ..................................... 9 1.2.2. Homosexuality in Japan: Westernization, HIV, “Gay Boom” and OCCUR in the First Court Case ............................................................................................... 11 1.2.3. Homophobia and Heteronormativity ................................................................. 14 1.3. Construction of Homosexual Identity and the Coming Out Process ................................ 16 1.3.1. Western Psychological Perspectives: Cass’s and Coleman’s Models ................ 17 1.3.2. Experiences of Japanese Forms of Homophobia after Gaining Homosexual Identity and Coming Out ................................................................................. 19 1.4. Limitations of Existing Western Theory: The Necessity of Sociologically Looking at How to Negotiate with Heterosexual Others ................................................................... 21 1.5. The Family and Prioritizing the Mother-Child Relationship in Japan .............................. 23 1.6. Families of Non-heterosexual Members After the Coming Out in the US and Japan ...... 27 iv 1.6.1. PFLAG in the US and Families of LGBT in Japan ........................................... 28 1.6.2. Parents’ Reactions to Coming Out in the US ..................................................... 30 1.6.3. Concerns about Stigma after Children’s Disclosure in the US .......................... 31 1.6.4. Becoming the Pound Parents of an LGB Child in the US ................................. 33 1.6.5. Asians and Japanese Parents after the Disclosure .............................................. 34 Chapter 2. Strong Conformist Japanese Cultural Norms and their Effects .................... 37 2.1. “Society” and Seken: Absence of “Self” and the Uses of Harmony in Japan ................... 37 2.1.1. Appropriate Japanese Selves: Prioritizing Others’ Feelings .............................. 41 2.1.2. Air and Seken: Majority Wins ............................................................................ 46 2.2. The Mechanism of Discrimination and Stigmatization in Japan ...................................... 47 2.3. The Purpose of the Study: Why Japan? ............................................................................ 49 2.4. Research Methods: Field Research in Japan ..................................................................... 51 2.4.1. Non-heterosexual Respondents and Participant Observations in Non- heterosexual Communities in Japan, 2010....................................................... 52 2.4.2. Respondents from Families of Non-heterosexual Members and Participant Observation at Families of LGBT Since 2012 ................................................. 55 Chapter 3. Negotiating with “Perceived Homophobia”: 24 Non-heterosexuals’ Coming Out Experiences in Japan ..................................................................................................... 59 3.1. Overcoming Internalized Homophobia and Accepting Social Exclusion ........................
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