We Are All Made of Stardust Nightspots Chats with Scott Cramer of Berlin’S Stardust Thursdays

October 28, 2009 #1004

We Are All Made of Stardust Nightspots chats with Scott Cramer of Berlin’s Stardust Thursdays. inSIDE page 22 Pooch Pride at The And for some reason, Glenwood. Pamela Anderson. page 12 page 42 Night of 1,O0o Zombies 8*5)%+14:$)0#*5$)

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GETS SPOoKY 3320 N. HALSTED, CHICAGO, IL 60657 773.348.1053 WWW.SCARLETBARCHICAGO.COM

out in the stars by Charlene Lichtenstein Saturn trudges into Libra this progress. Things must change SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 23 - week after a two-year schlep so everyone is a little happier. DEC. 22) Friends can be a through Virgo. What rattles Whatever your motivation, source of pleasure or pain, our chains? What makes us the outcome will be great. Uh, depending on how much you uneasy? Focus on areas of eventually. push them. The secret of your October 28, 2009 your life where you can learn success (and peace of mind) #1004 a lesson or two and make a LEO (JULY 24 - AUG. 23) will be to worry less about the concrete change in your life. Every proud Lion loves to details and let everyone do cover Or you can just continue to roar our their opinion at any what they can and what they kvetch, I suppose. Yes, you opportunity. But now you may will. You can do that, can’t JENAE, know who you are... . find that you achieve much, you? ANDREW, much more by simply listening. SHAINA & ARIES (MARCH 21 - APRIL The next few months put you CAPRICORN (DEC. 23 - JAN. 20) Anything that has grilled on a stronger footing in your 20) Have you been carefully SCOTT your bun in a relationship will communication. And the less crafting your professional mes- photo by move to the front burner now. said, the better! sage or have you allowed www. Do you need to polish your act, yourself to be shuttled along, nestorsphotography or just apple polish? The hints VIRGO (AUG. 24 - SEPT. 23) up or down the ladder of suc- .com that you receive now will make If you have been carefully cess. Pink Caps are ambitious you smooth enough to run for counting your pennies, this will but can get too comfortable political office. Or is it oily... ? be a time of relative luxury. But with the status quo. Start the if you have been a reckless revolution. INDEX TAURUS (APRIL 21 - MAY spender, this will be a time for THAT GUY 21) Queer Bulls who dream reappraisal and redirection. AQUARIUS (JAN. 21 - FEB. 8 of enjoying a life of leisure will By the end of this fiscal cycle 19) If you are thinking of THE DJ, THE MUSIC have to wake up and smell the you could be in an enviable planning a great trip, do so AND YOU 14 office’s pot of coffee. There is position. Err, prone? with an eye to handling all DATELAND no time to sit and snooze (or the nitty details. This is also 16 to take a long lunch). There LIBRA (SEPT. 24 - OCT. 23) true for any project that has a INTERVIEW-JESSE are too many tasks to do and All eyes are upon you. Any- global or universal application. SANTANA not a lot of time to do them. thing that you try to do to grab Whatever gets you into new 18 Vacation in 2010. the spotlight could backfire. space is filled with interesting INTERVIEW-SCOTT So allow the masses to come life lessons. Oh, goodie. CRAMER GEMINI (MAY 22 - JUNE 21) to you slowly and find ways of 22 Really great parties require strengthening your foundation PISCES (FEB. 20 - MARCH THE SPREAD good planning as well as a with sturdy, serious work. Go 20) Any intimate relationship 24-25 set up and clean up crew. So mad crazy later. will have its serious moments MARRS ATTACKS! that is your role in the cosmos and life-turning events now. 30 going forward for the rest of SCORPIO (OCT. 24 - NOV. Guppies will learn a lot about INTERMISSION the year. Pink Twins often 22) You are far too stressed. what makes them tick and in 31 like to dance while others toil. Chill out and leave your wor- doing so, you can become THE DAILIES Turnabout is now fair play. ries on your doorstep. Not only an even better, more attuned 36-37 will you tune up your intuition, lover. Hey, is that even pos- WHERE MY BAR AT? 38-39 CANCER (JUNE 22 - JULY you will also start rebuilding sible?? 23) Family obligations may your quota of good karma CALENDAR Q (c) 2009 THE STARRY EYE, LLC., All Rights weigh you down but you will points. Do good gay works. Reserved. For Entertainment Purposes Only. 40-41 Lichtenstein’s blog www.thestarryeye.typepad.com FROM THE BOOTH find that you are more able to Donate your time and posses- covers everything new age. Her astrology book handle them as the months sions. Talk to the birds. HerScopes; A Guide To Astrology For Lesbians is 44 the best in tongue-in-cheek astrology.

DOWNload: www.WindyCityMediaGroup.com

PUBLISHER Tracy Baim ASSISTANT PUBLISHER Terri Klinsky Managing Editor Kirk Williamson Photography Mel Ferrand, Kat Fitzgerald, DJ Greg Haus, Kirk, Kizzy, Ryan Kolodziej, Anthony Meade, Steve Starr CAST OF CHARACTERS Andrew Davis, DJ Res-5, graysong, Michael Hampton, Joan Jett-Blakk, Charlene Lichtenstein, David J. Magdziarz, Homer Marrs, Jennifer Parello, Randy Pubert ADVERTISING REPRESENTA- TIVES Terri Klinsky, Kirk Williamson, Amy Matheny, Carlos Paret NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE RIVENDELL MEDIA 212-242-6863 DIRECTOR OF NEW MEDIA Jean Albright Office Meghan Streit

Copyright 2009 Windy City Media Group/Lambda Publications Inc. All rights reserved. Reprint by permission only. Back issues available for $3 per issue (postage included). Return postage October 28, 2009 must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials. All rights to letters, art and #1004 photos sent to Nightspots/Windy City Times will be treated as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such, subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots/Windy CityTimes. Publication of the name, photograph, or likeness of a person or organization in articles or advertising in Nightspots/Windy City Times is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such person or organization. While we encourage readers to support the advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots/Windy City Times cannot accept responsibility for advertising claims.

nightspots 5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640 773.871.7610, fax 773.871.7609 www.WindyCityMediaGroup.com We Are All Made of Stardust [email protected] Nightspots chats with Scott Cramer of Berlin’s Stardust Thursdays. inSIDE page 22 Pooch Pride at The And for some reason, Glenwood. Pamela Anderson. page 12 page 42 DOWNload: www.WindyCityMediaGroup.com Sponsors:

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that guy by Kirk Williamson As you read this, I am sequestered deep, deep in the autumn-flecked woods of Michigan (Yes, Michigan!) turning 35. I secured a quaint lakeside cottage in which to lapse into geriatric stupor. Seriously, I am NOT one of those fags that gets all twisted up by age; I have earned each and every one of these 35 years. Why, as you can see from the overwhelming amount of coverage I have put together for this issue, I may just be up to 38 or so by now.

So you will give me a pass as I reflect upon my young life and shorten this week’s column. I promise to re-emerge from my bucolic splendor bursting with insight and bon mots.

I will be back for Halloween, so if I see you, you are SO getting an embarrassing picture taken of you. I’ll never be too old for that.

[email protected]

Quick hello to my long- lost triplet Mikie, seen here out at Rumors. Oh, the stories...

Join Chicago’s very own Miss Foozie as she kicks off this year’s Halsted Halloween parade, starting at 5 p.m. Saturday, October 31. You know, on Halloween.

8 October 28, 2009 JOIN US FOR THE PRE-HOLIDAY SEASON WINE TASTING PARTY AT

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Reign Supreme: Meet Empress VI D’Vita D’Ville, with the adoring outgoing reign at Charlie’s photo by Kirk

Pooch pride on parade at the newly expanded

The Glenwood photos by Kirk

Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow at Rumors photos by Kirk

Such warm pipes with Creaoke @ Bobby Love’s photos by Kirk

12 October 28, 2009

the dj, the music and you by DJ Res-5 Wild Things: the risque music column Wow, what a two weeks it has been! Between Britney Spears dropping “3” and Rihanna releasing “Russian Roulette,” I was in, like, Super Gay Boy Heaven! HEAR no evil In case you were living under a rock, “3” is the new Britney song you’ll hate to love, but do. It’s production is very streamlined, up-tempo, and hook-driven. Even though the lyrics leave something to be desired, I found myself singing it within hours of my first couple listens (back-to- back streams because I was really on the fence after the first play through). The downside to Britney’s release is that it’s attached to yet ANOTHER greatest hits offering, which is her third of sorts, while she only has six proper albums. SPEAK no evil “Russian Roulette” is on the whole other side of the pop spectrum, and quite frankly is the better song of the two. Rihanna’s voice is questionable, we all know it. However, the nasal whine actually not only works but in some ways propels the song. It adds more of the angst and torment of a woman on the edge. It’s as though she was crying in the booth... I mean if she actually had tear ducts instead of just wires since she’s a robot (no human being can look that perfect with that many different hair cuts). Anyway, the song cuts straight away into Mi- chael Jackson-sized riffs that will stick to your ribs photos by Anthony Meade on the cold nights ahead. SEE no evil Oh, and that gunshot at the end is genius!

And now some final tidbits: Apparently Mika came out as bi-sexual or whatever, like none of us knew already. The new Michael Jackson is sparking controversy for possibly being an old song/unreleased recording from years ago. Finally, Lady Gaga is coming back to town (sans Kanye, at that) in January!

14 October 28, 2009 They like me! They really like me!

Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo!

Get your sing on in any of the great locations! MON MON TUES TUES WED Champions Joie De Vine Jackhammer F. O’Mahony’s Hideaway Nov. 2, 9:30pm-12:30am 8pm-Midnight 10pm-4am 9:30pm-12:30am 9:30 pm-1:30 am (773) 743-1797 (773) 989-6846 (773) 743-5772 (773) 549-0226 (708) 771-4459

WED WED WED THU Scot’s The Copa Holiday Club Pie Hole Oct. 28, 8pm-Midnight 9:30pm-1:30am 9:30pm-1:30am 11pm-? (773) 784-1100 (312) 642-3449 (773) 348-9600 (773) 525-8888

THU THU FRI FRI The Closet Four Farthings Bobby Love’s Velvet Rope 9:30pm-1:30am 9:30pm-1:30am 9:30pm-1:30am 9:30pm-1:30am (773) 477-8533 (773) 935-2060 (773) 525-1200 (708) 358-8840 photos by Anthony Meade FRI SAT SAT SAT Hideaway Four Farthings Christina’s Coppolino’s 10pm-2:30 am 9:30pm-1:30am 10pm-2am 10:30pm-2:30am (708) 771-4459 (773) 935-2060 (773) 463-1768 (773) 735-8647

SAT SUN SUN Bobby Love’s Hideaway Star Gaze 9pm-Midnight 9:30 pm-1:30 am Nov. 15, 8pm-Midnight (773) 525-1200 (708) 771-4459 (773) 561-7363

for booking and hiring info: 773-720-7347 or [email protected] 16 October 28, 2009 dateland by Jennifer Parello Evolution of loveEvolution of trapped infoamcubiclesand sive accents,whileweare physics principlesinimpres- fancy littlecupsanddebating days drinkingcoffee from Americans. They spendtheir peans aremoreevolvedthan by somescientiststhatEuro- rope! Ithinkit’s beenproven • GetagirlfriendfromEu- 57 relationships: like toevolveduringmynext ing isawishlistofwaysI’d Sunday mornings.So,follow- walking upright,especiallyon thumbs andIhavetrouble little useformyopposable evolved atall.Istillhave relationships, andIhaven’t I’ve beeninabout57 people. always beentobeabetter people. And mydreamhas and itmakesthembetter sons fromeachrelationship adults learnimportantles- relationship. Butfullyrealized mistakes fromrelationshipto continue tomakethesame only dysfunctionalidiots Anyway, thisshowsaidthat evolution. way togetoneisthrough and I’mprettysuretheonly always wantedtogrowatail really happybecauseI’ve relationship. This mademe evolve fromrelationshipto was abouthowpeople mustachioed fauxtherapist show thatfeaturedaportly, catch upondaytime TV. One which gavemelotsoftimeto I wasathomesicklastweek sufficient ways! robust goodhealthandself- weaker. Damnmeandmy to becaught,Ineedget predators. And sinceIwant are thefirsttobecaughtby sicker membersoftheherd tionary principle:olderand This isawellknownevolu- • Becomeolderandsicker! into me. in troubleuntilafterthey’dbit prey wouldn’trealizethey’re a luscious,enticinggirl.My by adoptingthepersonaof disguise mybitter, nastyself do theopposite.Iwould dangerous variety. Iwould tors intothinkingitisthe butterfly, thusfoolingpreda- of apoisonousspecies by takingonthecoloring butterfly masksitstastiness works: aperfectlydelectable tionary science.Here’s howit important techniqueinevolu- delicious girls! This isan • Mimictraitsofmore hard timewaitingforafork. I getsohungrythathavea the tableisset.It’s justthat hands andcaninesbefore meal and I’ll rip into it with my friend willmakemeanice in pastrelationships.Mylady utensils hasbeenaproblem My ineptitudeinusing • Learntousesimpletools! blonde, Nordictypes. and I’vealwayshadayenfor Plus, EuropeownsSweden, liners fromstupidsitcoms. waste hoursrecitingone- buy Datelandon Amazon. Hey, Iwroteabook! You can settle foratail. relationship history, I’dreally But atthispointinmysad from myhair. prepare food,andpicknits ability tonurture,gatherand based onsuchfactorsas me tochooseapropermate about. A bigbrainwillallow brains I’veheardsomuch of thosegreatbigprimate a harborseal.Iwantmeone where betweenalemurand current brainsizesome- big brains!Iwouldrankmy • Getmyselfoneofthose bystanders. tions ofunsuspecting and listeninonconversa- be abletohangfromtrees Plus, ifitwasalongtail,I’d scared, hungry, anxious. watching theirtails.Happy, what mydogsarethinkingby tail, though.Icantellexactly them. Itwouldbeeasywitha have nocapacitytoexpress have emotions,it’s justthatI girlfriends. It’s notthatIdon’t of lackingbymypast57 something I’vebeenaccused easily expressemotion, explain. IfIhadatail,could above, butIfeeltheneedto • Growatail!Imentionedthis

Wish that you could be ?

Randy Pubert: Howdy, Jesse. into whatever it wants to be right How’s life in Texas? now. It is based out of Texas but Jesse Santana: It’s fucking rainy we are taking it all over. as hell. It has been raining for weeks here. RP: Where else are you taking this tour? RP: It’s raining here also. So JS: Fort Lauderdale and Nashville. you were discovered for adult films at age 19? RP: I grew up in Nashville. Tell JS: I was in a gay.com chat room DJ Phil from the bar Play I said, and a Corbin Fisher scout found “Heyyy!” What do you look for me out. I did six scenes for him. in a model? Then I worked for Chi Chi LaRue JS: I am looking for someone that and Falcon. has an interest in filming and likes to travel. And good looking guys, RP: I just reviewed your movie of course. Jesse Santana is Bottom of the Ninth. Tell me bringing sexy back about the behind-the-scenes on RP: What do you recommend to with his Web site that one. someone starting in the biz? JS: It was a fun project. There JS: One thing to be responsible JessesBoys.com. were boys everywhere, lots of little and to have dedication. Also to be He hosts a talent baseball players. There was a lot reliable, it’s a big thing. You have management team that going on. to show up on time. brings models to events around the country. RP: You have worked for a vari- RP: Have you been to Chicago Chicagoans have their ety of companies. Do you have before? chance to get in on the a favorite experience? JS: Yes, for the Grabbys two years JS: I love the Titan men. They ago. I am excited about coming act with a contest at have always been a favorite of back. Any ideas for a Halloween Spin, 800 W Belmont mine. I was in Barn Storm and costume? Ave. The winner gains Men’s Room 3. $100 cash, a Nightspots RP: I am going to be Doctor cover shoot, and a RP: How did you get the idea to Shots, with whiskey in my modeling contract with start your own company? syringes. I am having a big Hal- JS: I wanted to do something that loween party. You should come! Jesse. would keep me busy and give JS: I want something with leather back in a positive way. I want to in it. I am going to find some give the industry a few more hot boots. boys. Well, Chicago needs to come out RP: Where do you see Jesses- and shake their moneymakers for Boys.com going in the future? Jesse and me! JS: Mostly we are doing a lot of Do you have what it takes? The club promotions with dancers right underwear contest begins at now. We are working a little bit on midnight Thursday Oct 29th. Visit management of porn stars also. spin-nightclub.com or jessesboys. It’s very new and molding itself com for more details. 18 October 28, 2009

Beltin’ it out in the OP with

Creaoke @ The Velvet Rope photos by Kirk

“Trussed” is very important in a relationship at

Touché photos by Kirk

Drawers and more at

Wild Pug photos by Kirk

20 October 28, 2009

The STARDUST team (L to R): Scott Cramer, Shaina Van Selus, STARDUST Andrew Thanos and Jenae Williams. Not pictured: Bobby Pins. Me m o r i e s photo by nestorphotography.com Nightspots recently sat down for an odd little chat with Scott Cramer, part of the team that brings you STARDUST Thursdays, a very popular party that just celebrated its first year at Berlin. Scott tells us about gem sweaters, Magic 8 balls and a DJ set by Courtney Love and Jim Morrison. Hey, we said it was an odd chat. Nightspots: To what do you DJ set by Courtney Love and Jim Leslie wasn’t very happy, I’ve heard attribute the popular success of Morrison. rumors Bones is now outfitted in a STARDUST? gem-encrusted chastity belt. Scott Cramer: We throw a party NS: STARDUST seems to be a free of gender, race, attitude and/or very hip, youth-oriented experi- NS: Tell us a little about the sexual preference. It provides out- ence. What reaction do you get upcoming Mr. Black 2033. lets for artistic expressions, through from some of the more long-time SC: Mr Black was a club in NYC. theme decorating, fashion, costume Berlin habitués? The people who DJ’d, promoted, installations, and most of all MUSIC. SC: Pretty much everyone that and owned it, turned it into a travel- It also might have something to do comes to Berlin seems to enjoy our ing party throughout NYC. Now Pa- with the fact that Shaina spends antics, some ‘long-time Berlin habi- per Magazine and Svedka teamed quite a bit of time lathering herself tués’ have told me that STARDUST up with them and they are doing in glitter and showing people a good is reminiscent of the old Berlin. And a select city tour through the US time. for any that have an issue, we just called Mr Black 2033. 2033 because have Andrew take them out back that’s what Svedka says is the year NS: What’s your process for and shoot them. that they will be the crowned vodka booking talent? Have you reached of the year. So, with that being said the point at which they come to NS: You have Leslie & the Lys they will be TRANSFORMING Berlin you first? coming in for a Halloween-themed to look like its the year 2033. They SC: For the most part Bobby Pins STARDUST. What’s it like work- told us they will be arriving at 8 a.m. brings in his Magic 8 ball, and that ing with the queen of the gem to start installing, and will spend the seems to do the trick. On the rare sweater? entire day crafting the decor! Here’s case when it says ‘check back SC: YEAH! We’re pretty excited the fine print: Thursday, November later’ I call up my drifter friend Cody about Leslie HALLoween ZOMBIES 5, Svedka Vodka and PAPER Critcheloe; he won’t ever stop bug- Part Deux, however we’re a little Magazine present: Mr. Black 2033 ging me to book his ‘band’ SSION. nervous at the same time; the last at Berlin. DJs Sammy Jo (Scissor time Leslie was in town for our Sisters) and Nita, hosted by New NS: What would be your dream New Year’s Eve party, Jenae lured York’s Ladyfag, One-Half Nelson, booking for STARDUST? Living, Bones (Leslie’s blonde bombshell Drew, Macky, and Nicky B, and dead, past, present, future... it’s backup-dancer) with a trail of gems Chicago’s Mini Shaina, Jenae, Rew, all open. into a limo she hijacked, and drove Bobby Pins, Chip, and moi—Scott SC: I’d have to say a tag team her to Stargaze. To say the least Cramer. 22 October 28, 2009

photos by Kat Fitzgerald (www.mysticimagesphotography.com) As old as STARDUST (one year old, in all actuality) at Berlin

photos by Kirk Richard gets his birthday wish at @mosphere

photos by Anthony Meade FURR brings out the strangest in folks at Cell Block

24 October 28, 2009 theSPREAD

...open wide

Photos by Kirk Horny Devil Bar Crawl stops at Roscoe’s

photos by Kirk Just missed the fuschia party at Jackhammer

25 October 28, 2009 BEYOND HELP

Meet Ambre Lake. You may not remember Ambre as the winner of the second season of everybody’s favorite morality tale Rock Of Love. After going down (allegedly) on one of rock and roll’s most-non-STD-carrying icons (sarcastical- ly), Ambre’s career has nowhere to go but up. But how to rocket into stardom in these days of internets and PR and undeserved fame? That’s a real head scratcher for most, but not Ambre.

Here is her four-point plan (as smart-assedly imagined by Nightspots) to reach the top of the bottom... or bottom of the top... or the middle of mediocrity.

1. Piggyback onto a controversial, headline- grabbing social movement, thereby making an utter mockery of the cause and setting it back 10 years.

2. Rip off a corporate slogan.

3. Show your tits in front of a Mormon com- pound. It’s of vital importance in this step to hire a professional photographer to capture the crippling gravitas of your protest... and your tits.

4. Engage a PR firm to disseminate said photograph, making sure to include a link to your personal Web site.

There. Problem solved. When you all wake up tomorrow and it’s suddenly legal to be gay, now you know who to thank. And you were listening to that Harvey Milk loser. Well, Harvey never played a wedding coordinator in Sweet Home Alabama. So there.

26 October 28, 2009

The sheer horniness of these devils is astounding at

Cocktail photos by Kirk

Where the men are men and the women are men:

Big Chicks photos by Kirk

Will you accept

The Call photos by Kizzy

28 October 28, 2009

Building My Man

Since it isn’t wise to build a Perfectly fit is something huggable men who are only castle in the sky, I’m going else my man will never be. to be tolerated if they keep to build a dream man in my Mostly this is to preserve my their internal monologues la-la-land instead. ego and prevent me from entirely internal and learn to feeling ugly by compari- play sufficiently dumb. That The catch: I will build him son. But it’s also because is to say, I will struggle with only in terms of what he’s being too fit would ruin his that more than enough for

by Homer Marrs not. personality. Instead of my both of us. obnoxious propositions that First, my man will not be we should boycott Healthy Finally, and maybe most skinny. Not at all. If he were Choice meals because they importantly, my man will skinny then his voice would should be called Healthful not be a flake. He will know be half a pitch higher than it Choice, a perfectly fit man that “dinner at 8” means needed to be and I’d confuse would be interested in pro- “dinner around 8ish,” but him for a woman. He can’t tein powders, and rates of he will certainly not start to marrs attacks be skinny because then metabolic rest, and knowing nap at 7:30 and then call he’d like to dance, and I look how many reps of squat- me at 10 to ask if I feel like stupid doing that. Worse quad thrust-ups I’d have to doing something. Because yet, he’d like to dance to do to burn off the Doritos I would say I felt like having Madonna remixes because and Phish Food ice cream I dinner at 8, and by that I regular Madonna wouldn’t be shouldn’t have been mowing would mean I expected to good enough for him. This down at midnight the night meet him around 8ish as dancing would entail wearing before. No, he cannot be we would have planned. He a glow stick around his that fit, or I might shoot him. will never think “dinner at 8” neck like a ridiculous choker means “wait until you bump and occasionally shouting, into me at a bar to apologize “Yeah, girl!” or, “Go, boy!” But my man will also not like for blowing me off that time in undirected jubilation. guns! we agreed to meet for dinner Nothing makes me puke like at 8.” undirected jubilation. He won’t be violent, or trashy, or racist, but he’ll If he thought that, I’d shoot No, my man will not be wear wife-beaters around the him for sure. But it would be skinny, but he also won’t be house to keep from being in vain, because my man will fat. Pudgy, sure, but “fat fat,” stuck-up. (It is very hard to not be human, and his chest no. He won’t be able to avoid be stuck-up in a wife-beater.) will deflect bullets. waking up three times a My man will not be stupid, week for a midnight snack of but he won’t be outwardly *James Monroe. Thank you Doritos and Ben and Jerry’s brilliant, either. He’ll be ready for playing. Phish Food ice cream, but with the answer when I get he’ll know better than to hung up on remembering Homer can be reached at finish the whole bag or pint who the president was when [email protected]. of either. Because he also Napoleon died* or other use- won’t be a hippy, and hippies less trivia that matters only live for Doritos and Ben and on Teen Jeopardy, but he will Jerry’s, even when they are not be a know-it-all. Because not stoned. know-it-alls are cold, un-

30 October 28, 2009 nightSPOTSMAFIA We’ll tell ya what ta think Special Guest: Windy City Times columnist Billy Masters

More cute flight attendants “Hot Boys.” - Billy That’s a hard choice. I’d have to say with looser morals. - Billy It’d still be “Wild Perez--that way, I’d be the cute, Lap dances. - Andrew Things.” - Andrew skinny one! - Billy In-flight dance floor and “Porn Things.” Perez--at least I can hit him. - Andrew DJ. - DJ Res-5 - Pubert Perez--you said nothing about enjo y able ? Hot flight attendants. Where did Kat go? beatings not being an option. - - Pubert She was here a Creaoke SEX (it’s a champagne, minute ago. - Kat Paris. - Pubert people! Sheesh). - Kat “Grown-up Pajamas.” Wait, so killing them both is not an Prince giving a live concert - Creaoke option? - Kat on each flight. - Kirk “Tiled Things”--it’d be Perez, so I can poison him... bastard.

Bombing sorties en route. about me remodel- H ilton or P ere z ? - DJ Res-5 - Creaoke ing bathrooms. Not an option for me or them? Either Lesbians in the cockpit, - Kirk way, I’d prefer to keep that option

gay men in the cabin. “W here the ______A re .” “In Bed By 9:30 But open. - Kirk

- Mel W ild T hings A re ,” it ’ d be called Look Out At 9:00 Both. They’d talk to each other and Things.” - Mel leave me in peace to enjoy the swanky dinner I would have never

W hat wo u ld make airline flights more afforded on my own. - Mel I f y o u starred in a remake of “W here the D eath is not an option : inner with P aris

Are you special enough? If you want to be included as a special guest in Nightspots MAFIA, send an email to [email protected] and plead your case.

photo by Anthony Meade

MAIN: Dig, if you will, ...

DETAIL: ...this picture of the door guy at Cell Block.

31 October 28, 2009 Check out this spooky photobomb to the left at

Hydrate photos by Anthony Meade

Hmmm, which one will we choose

Hideaway photos by Kirk

Hard for Bears softball at

Sidetrack photos by Anthony Meade

32 October 28, 2009

It’s because of fighters like this (at the Matthew Shepard march)... photos by Anthony Meade

...that we’re free to enjoy nights like this at

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ZUWYVcc_"Wca# b][\hgdchg night—$5 wing basket, $6 Chicken breast Charlie’s Line dance lessons at 7 p.m., country WEDNESDAY sandwich $5 chickenburger with DJ Michael B ‘til 1:30 a.m., Afterhours dance @mosphere $12 Stoli pitchers, $3 Bud Light drafts, Bobby Love’s $1 off domestic & draft, $1 Pucker with DJ LuLu 50¢ well in February Bucks $3.50 Domestics drafts & bottles, $3.50 well Circuit 1st week-Versage Productions’ female drag Berlin “Get, Get Down,” DJs Zebo and Popstatic The Call $3 Absolut cocktails, $5 Absolut Martinis/ show, 2nd week-Lipstick and Lace women’s with special guests, $1 select shots, $2 PBRs Cosmos, Miss Foozie bingo (first Thur.) hip-hop night, 3rd week-Chix Mix women’s dance Big Chicks Euchre Club 7:30 p.m., $4 Stoli Martini, Charlie’s $3 top shelf parties, Last week-Urbano hip hop party $6 Leinie Pitchers, $5 Quesadilla night (Chicken Circuit La Noche Loca w/ DJ Fast Freddy & DJ Club Krave $12 oversized Long Island, Blue or Veggie) Rock-O-Mix, Miss Ketty’s show at 10 p.m. Island, Vodka Lemonade/Cranberry Pitchers, Bobby Love’s $1 off domestic, $1 Pucker, $3 The Closet Karaoke with Creagh at 9:30 p.m. DJ Rockin’ RC Jäger shots Club Krave Latin night with DJ Saul, Corona Cocktail Go-go boys, DJ Freddie Bain, hosted Bucks $3.50 Domestics drafts & bottles, $3.50 well buckets & Tequila specials by Chicago’s very own Cher, Paula Sinclaire The Call Curtains Up Wednesdays with showtune Cocktail Go-go boys at 10 p.m., DJ Michael or Keisha Lilly, $12 Long Island pitchers, $5 videos at 9 p.m., $6 martinis/cosmos, $5 Serafini, hostess Lisa Lexus, $9 vodka cran/ Jägerbombs Jameson shots vodka lemonade pitchers, $3 Miller Lite pints, $4 Crew P.B.R. Cans $2.00, Goose Island Honkers Cell Block Open 4 p.m. w/ Giani, All import beers Wild Turkey Honey shots pints $3.50, Fish Tacos w/choice of side $9.50, (bottles & drafts) $3.50 Crew Labatt Blue bottles $3.75, Goose Island 312 4th Friday-Frat Boy Friday, w/ Hot Jock Contest Charlie’s $3 top shelf w/ Mangina & David pints $3.50, BBQ Cream Chicken Wrap w/choice at 11:30 p.m. The Closet $3 well, $1 Schnapps shots of side $8.75, VJ at 8 p.m. Encompass Karaoke, $4 24 oz. Big Boy Lites Club Krave $5 Bombs, Starfinder karaoke Encompass Drink & Drown Thursdays, $1 house Halsted’s $5 Stoli mixed & bombs, $12 Bud Light/ Cocktail Teri Yaki’s & dusTy’s Twisted Trivia! 10 wells, $1 dom. drafts, $1 wine, sponsored by Miller Lite pitchers p.m., $4 Svedka cocktails, $9 Miller Lite pitchers Miller LIte and Coors Light Hamburger Mary’s $5 Mary Fruit Punch pints & Crew Open for lunch 11:30a.m., Rolling Rock Halsted’s $5.95 Buffalo chicken wraps, all drafts $4 Leinie Bottles. ABSOLUT Juice promo! Come bottles $2.75, Blue Moon pints $3.50, Taco Salad $3.50 sample ABSOLUT made with freshly squeezed $9.25, Top Chef at 9 p.m. Hamburger Mary’s $3.50 home brew pints juices in the Rec Room Encompass All domestic bottled brews $1 Hideaway Trailer Trash Bingo w/ Cheryl, Chicago Hideaway Karaoke by Creaoke, Chicago Beef The Glenwood Grindr party: come meet local guys Beef Dancers Dancers using the Grindr app, grinder sandwiches served, Hunters Hunters Hunks 10 p.m., $2 import bottles, Hunters Video Dance Party, $2 Miller, $4 cover, 7-10 p.m. DJ Laura B DJ Dan Hydrate 1/2 price Martinis, Hy-Drag Review 9:30 Hydrate Hot Hydrate dancers, sponsored by Hydrate TPAN’s Positively Aware party 8-11 p.m. on p.m., also DJ Laura B Nightspots Magazine, DJ Phil DaBeatz, $5 Effen 2nd Friday of the month, Weekly DJs til 4 a.m., Halsted’s $5.95 chicken fajitas, $3.50 Coronas cocktails, $5 Effen bombs, $3 Bud/Bud Light no cover til midnight Hideaway Karaoke by Creaoke, Ladies party with bottles, members can win cash prize weekly InnExile Here’s the Beef male dancers 11 p.m. DJ Teri Bristol Jackhammer $2 MGD/Miller Lite/Bud/Bud Light Jackhammer Chicago Beef dancers 1-3 a.m., 4th Hunters $3.50 Smirnoff Martinis, $2 well, $1 drafts, Jeffrey Pub No cover, free entry pass to first 35 Fri.-The Flesh Hungry Dog Show, $2 import $4.50 beeer pitchers, DJ Ron G guests to be used Friday or Saturday bottles Hydrate 1/2 price Martinis, Hy-Drag Review 9:30 Mary’s Attic Carpenters Halloween, 8 p.m., $20 at Jeffrey Pub Guys All Night Out dance party, $3 p.m., also DJ Laura B the door, $3.50 home-brew pints cover Jackhammer $1 well drinks, $5 cover, DJ Oskar North End Pulse: space for Chgo’s HIV community Mary’s Attic Carpenters Halloween, 8 p.m., $20 Jeffrey Pub Game night—Bid Whist, spades, domi- to relax and meet, in the back bar, sponsored by at the door, $3.50 home-brew pints, Feel Good noes, darts, drink tickets for every winning hand TPAN, 6-10 p.m. Fridays with Rogue DJ at 9 p.m., $5 Mary’s fruit Mary’s Attic Carpenters Halloween, 8 p.m., $20 Pie Hole Karaoke with Creagh punch, $4 Leinies bottles at the door, $3.50 home-brew pints, MaryOke Roscoe’s Alternative Sounds in front bar, $2.50 Rumors Karaoke Dance Party with JBoy at 9 p.m. Miller Lite/MGD/MGD64 bottles, $6 Jägerbombs, Roscoe’s $14 Absolut pink lemonade pitchers, $6 Pie Hole All-You-Can-Shove night, $9.99 for all-you- $12 Smirnoff Raspberry Twist Tidal Wave Bacardi bombs, $3 off Martinis/Manhattans can-eat slices and a soda, Poetic Hole open mic pitchers Scarlet The First Ward Ball, $4 Well Drinks, $4 Bud poetry reading 10 p.m. Rumors Dinner and a Movie at 7 p.m., Wii bowling Light, $5 Stoli-flavored Throttle Bombs Roscoe’s You’re the Star Karaoke with Honey West league at 9 p.m. Sidetrack Showtunes 5-9 p.m., Best of Sidetrack at 10 p.m., $12 Skyy Sexx on the Beach pitchers, Scarlet Frat Night, hosted by Kevin, $5 40s of Miller 9 p.m. - 2 a.m. $2.50 Bud/Bud Light/Bud Light Lime bottles, $6 Lite, Corona and King Cobra; $5 Long Island Spin Shower contest, 1st week: Boy night; 2nd frozen cocktails, 1/2 price bottles of wine mini-pitchers week: Girl night; 3rd week: Bear night, $150 first Rumors Hard Kore Karaoke with JBoy Scot’s $4 all drafts prize, sign up by 11:30 p.m., contest at midnight, Scarlet Downtown Wednesdays, with up and com- Sidetrack Cocktail Hour videos 3 - 8 p.m.,Comedy $5 Absolut cocktails, $4 Magic Hat #9 drafts, ing DJs, $7 mini-cosmos, $4 Amstel or Heineken, Night videos 8 p.m. - 2 a.m. DJ Luis M, go-go boys, $5 Absolut cocktails, $7 $5 Stoli-flavored Throttle Bombs Spin Fierce Drag Cabaret, $5 Pink cocktails, $7 Martinis, $4 draft beer Scot’s $2 off all Cosmos Martinis, $2.50 Miller Lite/MGD bottles 3160 POP Goes the Gio! Sidetrack Cocktail Hour videos 3-8 p.m., Classic Star Gaze Cheap Booze Night — $2 well, Touché 1st week - MAFIA; 2nd week - Full Moon Sidetrack, 8 p.m.-2 am $2 domestic bottles party and contest; 3rd week - ONYX Club night, Spin What the Fuck Wednesdays, $1 well drinks, Touché Handballer Night, red/white hanky specials, Club Room open at 10 p.m. $5 cover, DJ Chris Eterno club room open Velvet Rope Karaoke with Creagh, $6 Grey Goose Star Gaze Pool Nite, $1 off imported beers Velvet Rope Half off Martinis & Margaritas, monthly Wild Pug DJ Voxbox spins ‘80s, $3 Fuller’s London Touché Sci-Fi Night, unworldly special videos and local LGBT band performances Pride pints, VJ Bobby Marley at 7 p.m. drinks with Joe at 10 p.m. Wild Pug $3 Sapporo pints, DJ Steve Henderson Uncommon Ground 4 Women Only series- four at 10 p.m. female performers showcase their talents SATURDAY Velvet Rope $6 pizza specials, $3 drafts @mosphere Hot male dancers at 10:30 p.m., DJ Wild Pug Live Game Show night, 7 p.m., $5 cover FRIDAY Timmy Loop, DJ Juno, hostess Anique goes to actors, $3 Fuller’s London Pride pints, VJ @mosphere Hot male dancers at 10:30 p.m., DJ Baton Shows 8:30 p.m., 10:30 p.m., 12:30 a.m. Bobby Marley at 7 p.m. Eric Hall Berlin Twisted w/ DJs Chester & Larissa, $5 after Baton Shows 8:30 p.m., 10:30 p.m., 12:30 a.m. 11:00 p.m. / $7 after 1 a.m. THURSDAY Berlin Cosmix: DJ Greg Haus, electro, progressive, Big Chicks Euchre Club 6 p.m., DJ and dancing 10 and alternative, $5 after 11:00 p.m. p.m., no cover @mosphere “Hot Mess” Thursdays with male danc- Big Chicks DJ and dancing 10 p.m., no cover, 1/3 Bobby Love’s Featured artist nite, trivia shots & ers, $7 Bud Light pitchers, $5 martinis lb cheeseburger $5, $3 basket of appetizers giveaways w/ DJ Tim Baton Shows 8:30 p.m., 10:30 p.m., 12:30 a.m. (zucchini, mushroom, onion rings, poppers) Bucks $10 Miller pitchers, $2 Schnapps Berlin STARDUST Thursdays, with live perfor- Bobby Love’s Karaoke w/ Creagh 9:30 p.m. - The Call $4 Absolut cocktails, $5 Jameson shots, mances and special DJs, $2 PBR, $3 Berlin 1:30 a.m. video dance party bombs, brought to you by Outdanced Bucks $10 Miller pitchers, $2 Schnapps Charlie’s Country with DJ Michael B 9 p.m.-2 a.m., Big Chicks $10 Pitchers of Blue Moon, $2.75 The Call $4 Bacardi drinks, $1 Dekuyper shots, Afterhours dance with DJ LuLu Rolling Rock, $4 Cosmos, Chicken specials dance video mix Circuit 1st week-Girlbar lesbian night, 2nd week- 36 October 28, 2009 Circuit All-Stars show, hosted by Miss Foozie, The Closet $5 Bloody Marys, buckets of beer Hideaway Join the Revolution Ladies Night with DJ Teri Bristol, 3rd week-Amigo party, with DJ Club Krave $2 drafts & $5 draft pitchers , House Jessica, Rock Band competitions for prizes Markski & Roei Rodriguez, stage performances Mama’s Bingo at 7 p.m., followed by karaoke Hunters Karaoke with DJ Glen, $2 Bud, $4 Absolut and hot dancers, 4th week-Nitro monthly theme Cocktail $1 well drinks, biscuits & booze with Paté, Martinis parties, DJs and theatrical performances dogs welcome until 8 p.m., DJ Dealer & Chris Hydrate $1 drinks all night, no cover before 10 p.m. Club Krave $6 flavored Martinis, DJ Pervy Eterno at 8 p.m., DJ Pete Augusta at 11 p.m, Jackhammer $2.50 well drinks Cocktail DIVA DJs—rotating DJs include Dhanna, go-go boys at 8 p.m. Maneuvers Karaoke Mondays w/ Miss Bobbi Miss Michaela, Tracy Tobey, Heather Doble & Crew Miller Lite pitchers $9, Beergarita/ Sangria Mary’s Attic Live soap opera “The Ville” at 8 Carla Starla, Go-go boys at 10:30 p.m. pitchers $12, Miller Chill bottles $3, Paulie’s Pot p.m., $10 Crew Shiner Bock pints $3.50, Bud Select bottles Roast sandwich w/choice of side $10.25, Open Roscoe’s You’re the Star karaoke with Honey West, $2.75, Paulie’s Pot Roast sandwich w/choice for brunch 11 a.m. ‘til 1pm. VJ Ven from 3 - 10 p.m., $12 Stoli Blakberi Lemonade pitchers, of side $10.25, Open for brunch 11:00 a.m. til 1 9:30p.m., VJ Bobby Marley 9:30 p.m. $3 off all double cocktails, $6 frozen drinks, $6 p.m., VJ Ven spinning from 6 - 10 p.m., VJ Bobby Halsted’s $6 champagne cocktails, $4 22 oz. Bud Grapebombs, $2.50 bottles of Bud/ Bud Light/ Marley 10 p.m. Lights, 12 Stoli Bloodies during brunch Bud Light Lime, 1/2 price bottles of wine Encompass Resident DJ Tiff 11 p.m. Hamburger Mary’s Mimosa Brunch served ‘til Scarlet Art Haus Mondays: still art exhibition and Halsted’s $6 champagne cocktails, $4 22 oz. Bud 3 p.m. live showcase followed by DJ Lights, 12 Stoli Bloodies during brunch Hideaway Bitch Bingo with Ginger Lee, karaoke Scot’s $3 all domestic bottles Hamburger Mary’s Mary’s Mimosa Brunch ‘til at 9 p.m. Sidetrack Cocktail Hour videos 3-8 p.m., Show- 3 p.m. Hunters Karaoke 7-11 p.m., Boys Night 11 p.m., $1 tunes, 8 p.m.-2 a.m. Hideaway Karaoke by Creaoke downstairs, Dance drafts, $4 Martinis, DJ Lawrence K Spin All-request video with VJ Bryan, $4 Jameson, party with Chicago Beef Dancers upstairs Hydrate DJ Jeannette $10 Finlandia lemonade pitchers, free pool Hunters Ascent Saturdays with DJ Laura B., $3.50 InnExile Karaoke by Mariah Productions and games Bacardi mixers, $4 cover Jackhammer $3 U-Call-It (excluding Martinis and Touché Barstool Jocks - WWF wrestling & sports at Hydrate DJ Ralphi Rosario 11 p.m. - 5 a.m. Long Islands) 8 p.m., free pizza Jackhammer Chicago Beef dancers 1-3 a.m. Jeffrey Pub Ol’ Skool dance party, no cover Velvet Rope Chicagoland Gay & Lesbian Singles Jeffrey Pub Girls All Night Out dance party, $3 Mary’s Attic MaryOke! at 9 p.m., $3 well cocktails Meet-up sponsored by OPLAGA, $4 Martini cover, show with host Indigo Blue and domestic bottles flights Man’s Country Live nude male stripper show Moda VIP El Show de Lucha Villa y Sus Estrellas, Wild Pug Chill-Ax with Justin, Joey and the sounds Maneuvers DJ Sit-n-Spin, dancing, Jello shots Noche de Chicas Latinas, $3 tequila shots of Motown, $2 Miller Lite or Bud Light pints Mary’s Attic Carpenters Halloween, 8 p.m., $20 Roscoe’s Male Call hosted by Miss Foozie at 5 at the door, $3.50 home-brew pints, Attic-tion p.m., $14 Long Island Iced Tea Pitchers, $5 Mi- Saturdays with DJ Plez & John Murges at 9 p.m., mosas, $6 Bacardi bombs, double Bloody Marys TUESDAY $2 Jello shots, $5 Slushies, no cover on special, $22 Smirnoff Bloody Mary pitchers, @mosphere $1 well and Bud Light drafts Roscoe’s No cover before 10 p.m., $5 cover after, $24 Mimosa pitchers Berlin Cheap Trix, hosted by Jay Jay, with DJ $14 Absolut Pink Lemonade pitchers, $6 Bacardi Rumors Drag show Chester, $1 well and PBR, $5 cover bombs, $5 mimosas, double Bloody Marys on Sidetrack Cocktail Hour videos 3-8 p.m., Show- Big Chicks $5.50 Golden Margaritas, $4 special tunes 4-9 p.m., best of the 60s-80s, 9 p.m.-2 a.m. Margaritas, $5 Chicken burger night, $3 Meatball Scarlet Psycho Saturday, DJ Psycho Bitch, $95 Scarlet Liquid Brunch: DJ Nick Phoenix, $12 Sandwiches (dine-in only) classic Stoli bottle service, $5 Stoli-flavored bottles of champagne, $4 Screwdrivers, $4 Bobby Love’s $2 domestic, draft and well drinks. Throttle Bombs Bloody Marys, followed later by The Brothel with Bucks $10 Miller pitchers, $2 Schnapps Sidetrack Sidetrack Classics 3 - 9 p.m., Best of DJ Veritas The Call Two-Steppin’ Tuesdays: dance lessons at Sidetrack 9 p.m. - 3 am Star Gaze All sports shown on 6 ft. projection 8 p.m., followed by video music mix at 11 p.m., Spin Dance party with DJ Riley York and go-go Spin Team trivia, 10 p.m - midnight, hosted by Deb- $3 Beam and SoCo cocktails, $4.50 Shiner beers boys, second Sat. of month is Fish Tank by bie Fox, $4 Skyy cocktails, $5 Skyy bombs, $10 Charlie’s $10 Absolut pitchers, $2 Bud/Bud Light, Dummy Corps, $10 20 oz. Bacardi fishbowls Miller Lite & High Life pitchers, Foxy’s Basement $4 Jäger & bombs, karaoke 9 p.m-1 a.m., after 3160 Join Luther & Will for Sexy Senior Saturdays, 10 p.m. - 2 a.m. hours with DJ LuLu 8 p.m. - 2 a.m. Touché Open at noon, beer bust, 50¢ Bud & Bud Club Krave $1 drafts, $4 draft pitchers, $1 well Touché Open 3 p.m., 1st week-Great Lakes Bears, Light drafts, pool tournament at 7 p.m., movie Cocktail Go-go boys at 10 p.m., DJ Timmy Loop, Weekly fetish parties @ 10 p.m. Club Room open night in club room at 10 p.m. $9 vodka cran/vodka lemonade pitchers, hosted Velvet Rope Guest DJs, $5 bombs Velvet Rope Mean Girls Brunch: $25 for unlimited by Velicity Metropolis (3rd Tues.)Foozie Gras Wild Pug Dog Day Afternoon (bring your pooch) 3-6 mimosas, buffet brunch and a show, beer bucket (last Tue.), hostess Miss Foozie, special shows p.m., DJ Oskar at 9 p.m. specials at 11 p.m., midnight and 1 a.m., special Miss Wild Pug $6 Bloody Marys, $12 Long Island pitch- Foozie pineapple drinks ers, Don’t Worry Be Happy with VJ Ven at 3 p.m. The Closet $3 well, $1 Schnapps shots SUNDAY Crew Bud pints $2.75, Bud Light Lime bottles $3, @mosphere Sabbath Strippers— hot male dancers Taco Tuesdays with $1 tacos 9 p.m., $5 Martinis, $1 well MONDAY Halsted’s $5.95 entrée salads, $4 22 oz. Bud Baton Shows 8:30 p.m., 10:30 p.m., 12:30 a.m., 2 Berlin Manic Mondays w/ DJ Adam EL, feel-good Lights, $5.50 glasses of pinot grigio or merlot for 1 admission with coupon available at www. music from all eras, $2 PBRs, $3 Heinekens Hamburger Mary’s ‘Tini-Tuesday with $3 off all thebatonshowlounge.com. Big Chicks $2 off all pitchers, $1 1/4lb burgers, $5 Mary’s specialty martinis Berlin $2 PBRs, $3 Heinekens. 1st Sunday: Veggie Burgers (dine-in only) Hideaway Stud Puppy Tuesdays with male danc- Madonnarama w/ DJ Riley, 2nd Sunday: True The Call Industry night, $2.50 well, $3 Miller ers, hosted by Cee Cee Faith ‘80s night w/ DJ Chester, 3rd Sunday: products, $4 import and microbrew bottles Hunters Retro Re-wind—$2 Miller bottles, $2 Disco Obsession, Last Sunday: Prince night w/ Charlie’s $2 well/wine/beer, $3 Bacardi, $10 Stoli Mike’s Hard Lemonade, DJ Brad DJ Samnation pitchers, line dance lessons 7 p.m., Jackhammer Karaoke with Creagh 10 p.m., $3 Big Chicks Free BBQ/inside picnic at 4:30 p.m., Circuit Mondays with Mz. Ruff-n-Stuff & the Bacardi and Finlindia (all flavors) $2.50 vodka lemonades Rocketts, DJ Stoney Moda VIP Noche de Grandes Divas, $4 flavored Bobby Love’s Open at noon with Connie The Closet $3 well, $1 Schnapps shots Martinis Bucks Sunday cookout, $10 Miller pitchers, $2 Cocktail Monday Madness with half off all drinks, Roscoe’s “Drag Race 2009” with Frida Lay, $12 Schnapps tender reX 4-9 p.m., Industri-Haus with DJ Absolut Mandrin Cosmopolitan pitchers, $6 The Call $3 Sauza Margaritas, $3 Miller products, Andrew C and bartender Peter at 9 p.m. Jägerbombs, $2.50 bottles of Miller Lite/MGD / $4 import and microbrew bottles, videos from Crew Pub quiz trivia, $50 bar tab for winning team, MGD 64 ‘60s to today $6 Ruby Red/Mango Margaritas 1/2 Price wings Scot’s $2 off all Martinis Cell Block Open 2 p.m., $1.50 pints Miller Lite six $3/twelve $4.50,1/2 priced wings 5 p.m. Sidetrack U-Video, all request night all day and night, DJs Freddie Bain and Chris ‘til close. Spin Bingo with Mercedes, 10 p.m.-1 a.m. Spinazzola Dick’s RU Crazee? Free pool Touché Hard Core Tuesdays, club room open at Charlie’s Euchre 6 p.m., karaoke 9 p.m., Resur- Halsted’s $5.95 burgers, $4 22 oz. Bud Lights 10 p.m. rection Sunday @ midnight with club classics by Hamburger Mary’s Charity HamBINGO Mary’s Wild Pug Unpugged: live acoustic showcase, DJ LuLu, $2 well and domestic bottles, $10 Long with Velicity Metropolis at 8 p.m., $5 Margaritas, 9-11:30 p.m. Islands, $1 PBR bottles $3 Bud Light Lime Velvet Rope Best of ‘60s, ‘70s, ‘80s & ‘90s music 37 October 28, 2009 WHERE MY BAR AT?

ANDERSONVILLE 18 Touché 35 Manhandler 52 Jeffrey Pub 1 @mosphere 6412 N. Clark St. 1948 N. Halsted St. 7041 S. Jeffery Blvd. 5355 N. Clark St. ToucheChicago.com 36 minibar/winebar atmospherebar.com 19 Wild Pug 3341 N. Halsted St. The Burbs 2 The Anvil 4810 N. Broadway Ave. minibarchicago.com 53 Club Krave 1137 W. Granville Ave. WorldsGreatestBar.com 37 North End 13126 S. Western Ave. 3 Big Chicks 3733 N. Halsted St. Blue Island, IL 5024 N. Sheridan Rd. BOYSTOWN NorthEndChicago.com ClubKrave.com BigChicks.com 20 3160 38 Pie Hole 54 Hideaway 4 The Call 3160 N. Clark St. 737 W. Roscoe St. 7301 W. Roosevelt Rd. 1547 W. Bryn Mawr Ave. Chicago3160.com PieHolePizzaJoint.com Forest Park, IL CattleCallChicago.com 21 Berlin 39 Roscoe’s 55 Hunters 5 Crew 954 W. Belmont Ave. 3356 N. Halsted St. 1932 E. Higgins Rd. 4804 N. Broadway Ave. BerlinChicago.com Roscoes.com Elk Grove Village, IL WorldsGreatestBar.com 22 Bobby Love’s 40 Scarlet HuntersNightclubs.com 6 Eagle 3729 N. Halsted St. 3320 N. Halsted St. 56 John L’s Place 5001 N. Clark St. BobbyLoves.com ScarletBarChicago.com 335 154th Pl. ChicagoEagle.com 23 Bucks Saloon 41 Sidetrack Calumet City, IL 7 El Gato Negro 3439 N. Halsted St. 3349 N. Halsted St. 57 Maneuvers 1461 Irving Park Rd. BucksSaloonChicago.com SidetrackChicago.com 118 E. Jefferson St. ElGatoNegroBar.com 24 Cell Block 42 Spin Joliet, IL 8 The Glenwood 3702 N. Halsted St. 800 W. Belmont Ave. JolietManeuvers.com 6962 N. Glenwood St. www.CellBlock-Chicago.com Spin-Nightclub.com 58 Moda VIP TheGlenwoodbar.com 25 Charlie’s 43 Steamworks 2409 N. Mannheim Rd. 9 Hamburger 3726 N. Broadway Ave. 3246 N. Halsted St. (bath) Franklin Park, IL Mary’s/Mary’s CharliesChicago.com SteamworksOnline.com myspace.com/modavip Attic 26 Circuit 59 Rumors 5400 N. Clark St. 3641 N. Halsted St. DOWNTOWN 2433 Desplaines Ave. HamburgerMarysChicago.com CircuitClub.com 44 The Baton North Riverside, IL 10 Jackhammer 27 The Closet 436 N. Clark St. RumorsPubOnline.com 6406 N. Clark St. 3325 N Broadway Ave. TheBatonShowLounge.com 60 Velvet Rope Jackhammer-Chicago.com 28 Cocktail 45 Second Story Bar 728 W. Lake St. 11 Joie De Vine 3359 N. Halsted St. 157 E. Ohio St. Oak Park, IL 1744 W. Balmoral Ave. CocktailBarChicago.com VelvetRopeOakPark.com 12 Man’s Country 29 FireFly Near North 5017 N. Clark St. (bath) 3335 N. Halsted St. 46 Club 2506 indiana MansCountryChicago.com FireflyOnHalsted.com 2506 N. Clybourn Ave. 61 Dick’s R U Crazee? 13 Scot’s 30 Halsted’s Bar & 47 Crobar 1221 E.150th St. 1829 W. Montrose Ave. Grill 1543 N. Kingsbury St. Hammond, IN ChicagoScotsBar.com 3441 N. Halsted St. 48 The Prop House DicksRUCrazee.com 14 SoFo HalstedsChicago.com 1675 N. Elston Ave. 62 Encompass 4923 N. Clark St. 31 Hydrate 2415 Rush St. SofoBar.com 3458 N. Halsted St. Lake Station, IN 15 Spyners HydrateChicago.com The Southside EncompassNightclub.com 4623 N. Western Ave. 32 Kit Kat 49 Club Escape Spyners.com 3700 N. Halsted St. 1530 E. 75th St. 16 Star Gaze KitKatChicago.com ClubEscapeChicago.com 5419 N. Clark St. 33 Little Jim’s 50 Escapades StarGazeChicago.com 3501 N. Halsted St. 6301 S. Harlem Ave. 17 T’s LittleJimsChicago.com 51 InnExile 5025 N. Clark St. 34 Lucky Horseshoe 5758 W. 65th St. TsBarChicago.com 3169 N. Halsted St. InnExileChicago.com

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39 October 28, 2009 Brought to you by the combined efforts of

Sunday, Oct. 25 Cocktail Teri Yaki & dusTy’s of Directors and Executive Dancers, DJs Anton, Corona Twisted Trivia: Compete to Director, tours of “Día de & Kenae Spinning Hip-Hop, Spin Celebri-T: A Classic Tea win a cash grand prize and los Muertos” exhibit. $40 House, Urban & Reggaeton, Dance with DJ Matthew Har- tickets to the Reeling 2009 individual, $75 per couple, 11 p.m., 3641 N. Halsted St., vat, 5-10 p.m., 800 W. Belmont LGBT Film Festival, 10 p.m., $25 students with valid ID or www.urbanochicago.com Ave., www.circuitmom.com 3359 N. Halsted St., www. at door for an additional $5. Who Gives a Shot? A Hal- Velvet Rope Mean Girls cocktailbarchicago.com 6 - 10 p.m., National Museum loween Extravaganza hosted Unlimited Mimosa Brunch: Sidetrack 17th Annual Night of Mexican Art, 1852 W. 19th. by Center on Halsted and 44th Come see the Biggest & of 100 Drag Queens: Equal- (Parking at Orozco School, Ward, www.the44thward.com/ Best Divas perform live while ity Illinois’ wild and wacky 1940 W. 18th.) 733-522-4570, you enjoy the best food in fundraiser featuring the talents www.projectvida.org town. 708-358-8840, www. Saturday, Oct. 31 of amateur and seasoned Spin Jesse’s Boys model search velvetropeoakpark.com B.BLYSS! Productions The performers in a hilarious revue Win a modeling contract Kiss of Halloween by OLA filled with outrageous routines, with Jesse’s Boys in this hot Productions & Swank Enter- Tuesday, Oct. 27 7-10 p.m., 3349 N. Halsted underwear contest. 11 p.m., tainment. Park Avenue, 3415 Center On Halsted World AIDS St., 773-477-7173, www. 800 W. Belmont Ave., www. N. Clark St., 877-570-6607 Day Candle Light Vigil plan- eqil.org spin-nightclub.com Berlin Halloween burlesque ning meeting, 7 p.m., 3653 N. Scot’s Scary-oke Costume Party Touché Pumpkin fisting contest, with the Pain Kurst Girls. First Halsted St. Come dressed as your favorite 6412 N. Clark St., www. show at 9:30 p.m. DJ Chester. Cocktail Foozie Gras, special character from Cabaret and touchechicago.com. 954 W. Belmont Ave., www. Foozie shows at 11 p.m., sing your guts out at the 7th berlinchicago.com midnight and 1 a.m., Foozie annual Scaryoke. Karaoke by Friday, Oct. 30 The Call Third and final of three pineapple drinks, 3359 N. Creaoke. 1842 W. Montrose Berlin Heroes, Horrors & days of costume contests. Halsted St., www.cocktailbar- Ave. 773-528-3253 Whores comedy show starring Cash prizes each night. 1547 chicago.com Touché Bobbin’ For Dick con- The Sarcastic Squad. Fol- W. Bryn Mawr Ave., www. Music Box Theatre Augusten test, 6412 N. Clark St., www. lowed by Cosmix with DJ Greg cattlecallchicago.com Burroughs reading/perfor- touchechicago.com Haus spinning electronica and Circuit Halloween Party with mance and signing for You alternative dance, 10 p.m., $2,500 in cash and prizes Better Not Cry: Stories for Thursday, Oct. 29 954 W. Belmont Ave., www. with Best Costume and Best Christmas. $10 without a Atomic Sketch Event Monthly berlinchicago.com Drag Categories. Doors open book. Sponsored by Borders art event with panel of artists The Call Second of three days of at 7 p.m. 3641 N. Halsted St., Books and Music Lakeview. creating (and selling) their costume contests. Cash prizes www.circuitclub.com Tickets $5. 3733 N. Southport work at the event, 6-10 p.m., each night. 1547 W. Bryn Club Krave Halloween Ave., 773-871-6607 evilOlive, 1551 W. Division St Mawr Ave., www.cattlecallchi- “Spooktacular” party featuring Sidetrack 17th Annual Night Berlin Leslie HALLoween: Zom- cago.com a costume contest. 13126 S. of 100 Drag Queens: Equal- bies, Part Deux STARDUST Hydrate Andrew Christian Western Ave., Blue Island, IL, ity Illinois’ wild and wacky Thursdays presents a Hal- model search and underwear www.clubkrave.com fundraiser featuring the talents loween party with Leslie and fashion show, followed by DJ Cocktail Halloween Costume of amateur and seasoned the Lys, 954 W. Belmont Ave., Laura B., 3458 N. Halsted St., Contest starts at 12:30 a.m. performers in a hilarious revue www.berlinchicago.com hydratechicago.com Entrants must register before filled with outrageous routines, The Call First of three days of Jackhammer 2nd annual After- 11 p.m. Chance to win $500 7-10 p.m., 3349 N. Halsted costume contests. Cash prizes life Halloween bash, 6406 N. in cash and prizes. 3359 N. St., 773-477-7173, www. each night. 1547 W. Bryn Clark St., www.jackhammer- Halsted St., www.cocktailbar- eqil.org Mawr Ave., www.cattlecallchi- chicago.com chicago.com Wild Pug UNPUGGED: Rock cago.com Spin I Heart Porn featuring Hideaway Halloween Bash out at the acoustic concert Hamburger Mary’s Join us Cockyboys exclusives Hugo and Costume Contest: Strut series, featuring Tari Follett, in the Rec Room for Bulls Milano and Jesse Santana, your stuff in this Halloween 9-11 p.m., 4810 N. Broadway, season opener to win a pair of hosted by Aurora Sexton, DJ costume contest with 4 www.worldsgreatestbar.com tickets to Bulls v. Nuggets Nov. Phil DaBeatz, 800 W. Belmont categories: scariest; best drag; 10. 7-10 p.m., 5400 N. Clark Ave., www.spin-nightclub.com sexiest; and best overall. 7301 Wed., Oct. 28 St., www.hamburgermaryschi- Touché Dare the Dark party, W. Roosevelt Rd., Forest Club Krave Pre-Halloween party cago.com free lights to the first 100 folks, Park, IL, 708-771-4459 with Star Finder Craig’s Scary- Project VIDA Masquerade Ball: 6412 N. Clark St., www. Hydrate Watch the Halloween oke costume party. 13126 S. The Resurrection of a Legend. touchechicago.com parade at 5 p.m., followed by Western Ave., Blue Island, IL, Live music and entertainment, URBANO Halloween Party at a Costume Contest with over www.clubkrave.com introduction of the new Board Circuit, with Sexy URBANO $1,600 in cash and prizes,

40 October 28, 2009 DJ Ralphi Rosario, 3458 N. On Sunday, November 1 at Reeling 2009 Opens this of this year’s HRC Chicago Halsted St., hydratechicago. 1 p.m., wine quaffers from year’s festival with The Big Gala with: Joe Solmonese, com around the Chicago area will Gay Musical. http://www. President of the Human Jackhammer Paranormal gather at Geja’s Café, 340 reelingfilmfestival.org Rights Campaign; Tony Halloween party, costume West Armitage Avenue, to SOFA CHICAGO 2009 Taylor, recipient of the HRC contest at midnight, $150 for test their taste buds against 800-563-SOFA (7632), www. LGBT College Student funniest, scariest and best experts and amateurs alike. sofaexpo.com Award; Rush University overall, hosted by Chanel Jackhammer Open mic with Medical Center, recipient of Exotique, 6406 N. Clark St., Amy Armstrong and Lloyd Friday, Nov. 6 the HRC Corporate Equal- www.jackhammer-chicago. Young, $7 flavored Long ity Award; Robert Gant of Hydrate Lipstick & Lyrics: com Islands, 9:30 p.m.-1 a.m., Queer As Folk; and Michelle BRING IT ON! Members Mary’s Attic Walk it off in this 6406 N. Clark St., www. Williams of Destiny’s Child, of The Chicago Gay Men’s Halloween costume contest jackhammer-chicago.com 6-10 p.m., Hyatt Regency Chorus will BRING IT ON extravaganza while enjoying Chicago, 151 E. Wacker Dr., and haul out their highest the freakishly charming Bud www.hrcchicago09.com Wed., Nov. 4 drag to take to the stage, Boyz. 11:30 p.m. 5400 N. Hydrate Hydrate Hussies BEHIV Art Therapy Reception hosted by Chicago drag Clark St., www.hamburger- turnabout drag show, doors & Exhibition: Amazing work star Madame X. 8-11 maryschicago.com open at 6 p.m., showtime for people struggling with the p.m., 3456 N. Halsted Northalsted Halloween at 7:30 p.m., $10 doantion emotional stress of an HIV+ St., 773-296-0541, www. Parade Starting at Belmont ot Chicago House includes diagnosis. 5:30-8:30 p.m., cgmc.org & Halsted, 5 p.m. www. hors d’ouerves and two Center On Halsted, 3656 N. Jackhammer The Flesh lakeviewcitizens.org/hal- complimentary drink tickets, Halsted St., www.behiv.org Hungry Dog Show features loween.asp followed by DJ Chris Cox, the Wanton Looks, The Van Scarlet Night of 1,000 Zom- 3458 N. Halsted St., hydrat- Buren Boys and Modern- bies, free zombie makeup Thursday, Nov. 5 echicago.com Day Rippers, $10, 9 p.m., 2-4 p.m., zombies move to Am. Veterans for Equal Reeling 2009 Tickets available 6406 N. Clark St., www. teh front of the line after the Rights (gay veterans) online: http://reelingfilm- fleshhungrydog.com parade, 3320 N. Halsted St., Monthly meeting, 2nd festival.tix.com, www. Mr. International Rubber www.scarletbarchicago.com floor meeting room. reelingfilmfestival.org 2010 Contest, Part 1. 6 p.m. Spin Halloween Ball with two 773-472-6469 http://www. Wild Pug The Jen and Joe at Center on Halsted, 3656 costume contests: Best Drag averchicago.org/ Show: Local musicians Jen N. Halsted. http:// www. and Best Costume, $500 The Call Bingo with Miss Thompson and Joe Rosen- mirubber.com . first prize for each, hosted Foozie, seating begins *:30 mayer will perform a lively, Reeling 2009 Tickets available by Dida Ritz, DJ Greg Haus, p.m., bingo 9-11 p.m., $3 witty mix of contemporary online: http://reelingfilm- go-go boy Hugo, 800 W. Absolut cocktails, $5 Absolut songs. 8 p.m., 4812 N. festival.tix.com, www. Belmont Ave., www.spin- martinis and cosmos, 1547 Broadway, 773-459-6775, reelingfilmfestival.org nightclub.com W. Bryn Mawr Ave., www. www.schoolstreetarts.org Reeling 2009 Tickets available Touché Treats & Tricks party, cattlecallchicago.com online: http://reelingfilm- guest DJ Hale, 6412 N. CoH’s Laughing Out Loud festival.tix.com, www. Sunday, Nov. 8 Clark St., www.touchechi- Series w/Jessica Halem reelingfilmfestival.org Reeling 2009 Tickets available cago.com Center on Halsted’s Spin Boys’ shower contest, online: http://reelingfilm- The Velvet Rope Halloween monthly comedy series, sign up by 11:30 p.m., festival.tix.com, www. costurm contest, 728 W. laughOUTloud, presents contest at midnight, $150 reelingfilmfestival.org Lake St., Oak Park, IL, www. Jessica Halem and friends first prize, hosted by Truly Roscoe’s Recording artist velvetropeoakpark.com for a night of stand-up Fabulous, 800 W. Belmont September (“Satellites,” Wild Pug Pugaween costume comedy with Jessica Halem, Ave., www.spin-nightclub. “Cry For You”) performs, contest for the best-dressed Cameron Esposito and Bill com 3356 N. Halsted St., www. dog! It’s a fundraiser for Cruz. Tickets: $20 V.I.P. SOFA CHICAGO 2009 roscoes.com PAWS. Buy a ballot and (includes prime seats and 1 800-563-SOFA (7632), www. pick your favorite. 3-6 p.m. drink ticket); $15 general ad- sofaexpo.com 4812 N. Broadway, www. mission; $10 student/senior Monday, Nov. 9 worldsgreatestbar.com discount (with valid photo Miss Heart of America ID). Advance purchase Saturday, Nov. 7 Continental Plus & Elite recommended, tickets avail- Club Krave Homecoming Pageants. Two pageants Sunday, Nov. 1 able at centeronhalsted.org. Dance. King and queen will in one as the new Miss 36th Annual Pro/Am Contest (773) 661-0763 http://www. be crowned. Get your photo Heart of America Plus and It’s the Olympics of wine centeronhalsted.org taken to remember the big Elite will be chosen. 9 p.m., tasting –an intense battle of Formerly Known As Oh!- night. 10 p.m., 13126 S. The Baton, 436 N. Clark the palettes—and the oldest Lympics!, DJs Reaganomix Western Ave., Blue Island, St., 312-644-5269, www. event of its kind in the coun- and Valentine, 9 p.m., Big IL, www.clubkrave.com stellaproductions2.com try. It’s Geja’s Café’s 36th Chicks, 5024 N. Sheridan Human Rights Campaign Annual Professional/Ama- Rd., [email protected] “Time to Shine” is the theme teur Wine tasting Contest.

Get WindyCityMediaGroup.com ChicagoPride.com online 41 October 28, 2009 Hot bodies at Hot Toddy’s burlesque at

Scarlet photos by Anthony Meade

Mummy love at Mary’s photos by Kirk

Pamela Anderson, Richie Rich and a few local luminaries illuminate the A*Muse Fashion show at Horseshoe Casino photos by Kathleen Ulm

42 October 28, 2009

Gay Scouts from Euroboy Starring Ricky Sinz and Scott Tanner from the booth by Randy Pubert & Dick Groeper Switchcraft from Channel 1 Releasing Starring Ricky Starr, Cassandra Knight and Scott Davis

Our bisexual adventure begins with Chi Chi P: When he finds out he is going to be angry. LaRue as Edweina Simplestein going to G: You won’t like him when he’s angry. school. P: He does look a little like the black Incredible JUDGING Hulk. A PORN P: This is like a John Waters film. I am G: Trick or treat, smell the cheat. interviewing Mink Stole this week, by the way. P: He gave her something good to eat. BY ITS G: Congrats! Chi Chi has the Hairspray hair. G: She just turned back into Chi Chi! COVER The teacher’s name is Miss Swallows? P: And she gave him a heart attack with her P: She has two students stay after class. telekinetic power. Pubert: For G: Teach has them sucking each other’s G: Stephen King would love this flick. Halloween we cocks. have Switch- P: She just said, “If you are bad I will be Miss Edweina returns to school to attack Miss craft! Boo! Spits today.” Swallows, with a magic paper airplane. Groeper: The G: Hilarious. Teacher and student are fighting lightning bolts over who is doing the sucking. P: This plot is getting crazy and kooky. on the cover P: What is with the guitars in the background? G: It’s “all together ooky, the Adams Family.” make this pick They should be playing “Hot for Teacher” P: In another school room the male gym frightening instead! teacher gives the female PE teacher a back already. G: The teacher has some nice apples. massage. P: I am having G: I guess she is not a lesbian after all. a big Hal- Edweina is tortured by a lesbian gym coach, P: Now the janitor is getting in on the act with loween party while two wrestling buddies go at it in the a foot massage. again this year. locker room. G: I don’t remember having a janitor like that G: The more, at my high school. the scarier. G: This movie has a good sense of humor. P: Yeah, mine looked like Oscar the Grouch! P: This was P: The blonde wrestler is hanging the brunette G: The janitor is making a mess with his jizz. originally made on the bench. Clean up in the gymnasium! for VHS in G: You mean the fake blonde? 1998. Let’s see P: I like the strategically placed towel so Edweina continues her revenge by attacking how it holds up Blondie doesn’t hurt his back. students and teachers alike. over time. G: Well, he could get splinters from that bench. P: The rattling bones is a good sound effect. P: The peroxide doesn’t seem to hinder his G: Chi Chi is funny channeling Divine. cumming ability. P: This movie was heavy on the humor and light on the sex. Edweina lights a candle and prays to the G: It was entertaining but not a must have for spirits to be pretty. people’s collections. P: Switchcraft needed to switch the script G: Look at Chi Chi’s big Band-Aid on her chin. around a little. P: That PE teacher must have really roughed her up. Pubert: Thumb down the throat. G: It has driven her to witchcraft. Groeper: Thumb down the throat. P: Carrie, eat your heart out! G: She gained a great bod and braces. Fly on your broomstick over to c1r.com to P: I guess perfection needed some help… purchase this and other hair-raising videos. G: Now she’s having sex with her stepdad. Happy Halloween, loyal readers! 44 October 28, 2009

Talk about tight ends at Cocktail photo by Kirk

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