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January 2007 Vol. 4 No. 1 Still. News from Still Mind Zendo I t C o n t i n u e s Feelings and reflections on becoming a

by Sensei Gregory Hosho Abels

There is a proverb in China: crane standing still in bright "Tradition is marrying the girl moonlight." next door." A warning about "Emptiness is my teacher" by Shodo Harada Roshi (1940--) Abbot of Sogen-ji complacency. A caution There is a proverb in our monastery Okayama, Japan. Reprinted by permission. against avoiding the country: "The apple doesn’t unknown. Receiving fall far from the tree." For me (Thanks to SMZ member Bruce Kennedy for providing this image.) Transmission from my the tree is my teacher, the teacher, Jinsen Kennedy teachers of my teacher, and I would invite local farmers Because of all my years as a Roshi, is not the satisfaction their teachers going back to over to show them the land, master teacher of acting, I of being admitted to an exclu- Koun Yamada, Taisan and I would play the student. have grown accustomed to sive club known as "The Maezumi, . I No farmer would accept my speaking with authority and Teachers of the White Plum am grateful for their genes. invitation to come into the congruity in front of numbers ." No, it is force. Genes passed not biologically, farmhouse. Each stood by his of people and capable at Force and no resistance. Like not superficially. If we want pickup. Often with the habit- absorbing what the person in the febrile experience in the to pay attention, the reach of ual foot on the fender. front of me is communicating. fingers when one holds a genes can be long and produc- Hesitant to make eye contact. However, both I and the stu- small animal and feels the life tive. I am an aficionado of He would not immediately dent must be able to see between its ribs. the work of the early-twenti- reveal the cultivation system beyond the teacher’s image It is liquifica- eth century composer and con- to me. After all, I was simply and skill. My teacher always tion. I am ductor Gustav Mahler. Of standing by his side. He had emphasized that I elicit the drenched in course, I never saw Mahler learned at his father’s side. authentic Gregory. My hope gratitude for the conduct, but I have had the Experience. Working side by is that through mutual trust aphoristic privilege of watching Leonard side. Face to face. No key, and spontaneity, my students "blood, sweat Bernstein rehearse members no secret handed on a silver and I will see each other’s and tears" of my ancestors. of the New York platter. Nothing written down. authentic self. Yet it is not That is what is real for me. Philharmonic, who were hired Daido Loori Roshi says that about me and other. It just The giggling of Joshu. by Mahler. My acting teacher, teaching is ineffable. Yes. continues. ’s glare. The Stella Adler, sat at the feet of In Zen, there is nothing to profile of at work. It Stanislavsky. Show me what teach. The teacher is as far as Gregory Hosho Abels received all burns in my gut. Dogen is original. There is no inde- can be from a salesman or car- from meeting Juching. I think of pendent reality. nival barker. Don’t seek out his teacher, Jinsen Kennedy Ananda serving Shakyamuni students. Nothing to teach. Roshi, and was installed as a as his attendant for twenty When I began to develop the Because nothing can be added Zen teacher in a ceremony on years. Imagine. The work. agricultural component of to or subtracted from the stu- December 17, 2006. The The sacrifice. The gratitude. Seven Meadows Farm, I had dent. Nothing to seek. name "Hosho" means Voice of All of it nothing but "a white no experience in such things. the Dharma. News T y p i c a l Z e n In July Andy Mayberry com- pleted a 600-hour course in Three members of the sangha, each with a particular challenge to her sitting, massage therapy. He is now write about the ways they work with what they can, and cannot, do. building a practice in chair massage with companies in New Jersey, emphasizing the therapy’s stress-relieving ben- efits. This has been a whole new career direction for Andy, My job as a news correspon- made a bow. belief is another way for my who previously worked for dent for a major TV network However, practicing on the go, mind to sabotage my sitting. If twenty years on boats and often derails the schedules, away from teachers and sang- I think of myself as a "second- ships. structures and formalities of ha, has been difficult. There’s class" member of the zendo my daily practice. I’m on call been doubt, resistance and because I am not present on After eleven-plus years 24/7 and travel frequently and judgment about the quality of Tuesday evenings, I run the risk together, Jennifer Strong unexpectedly. Hotel rooms my effort. I was deeply of not sitting as well, of slack- and Alain Mentha formally usually serve as zendo, bed- encouraged when I learned ing off. If I crave being some- became engaged over the spreads as zabutons, and pil- during the Katrina coverage where I’m not, I lose touch Labor Day weekend. They lows as zafus. The sitting is that the sangha was holding with a foundational principle of plan a simple wedding cere- done when the opportunity me in its sittings. Since then I the Way – to be OK with the mony in July 2007. comes. Sometimes it never carry it in my heart, confident reality of what is. does. This happened in 2005 that someone somewhere Amid a flurry of family devel- while sleeping in cars and liv- breathes with me, walks the Perhaps, then, distance is a hid- opments – a retirement, a ing among debris along the Way with me, along with the den blessing, an opportunity to wedding and a fourth grand- Gulf Coast covering the after- whole universe. let go of our desire to be a child in the making – Evelyne math of Hurricane Katrina. "typical" Zen student while also Marshall was awarded the Informal kin-hin or just staring And for that I bow to you all realizing there may be no such official title of teacher in the underneath my feet was the with love and gratitude. thing. Sogetsu school of ikebana. practice then at hand. -- Marisa Cespedes She has studied for nine years Still, when your teacher and with the high-ranking teacher Through a quote by poet Gary It’s easy to feel sorry for one- sangha are physically far away, Chieko Mihori, and will Snyder -- "Where we breathe sitting is different, due to what self as a long-distance student. receive a special name, proba- we bow" -- I’ve discovered is not present: your teacher’s The feeling, hand-delivered by bly the Japanese name of a that airplanes contain a mar- face, the energy of the zendo. in a special envelope, flower combined with part of velous ground for practice. But when your teacher and surfaces at various times: her teacher’s name, along with Recently I traveled to Seattle, sangha are deeply lodged in when I’m preparing to sit a diploma from Tokyo. taking off at dawn from NYC alone, yet again, in my tiny your heart, miles can be mean- and returning the following ingless. When I walk into the home zendo; when I’m figur- In September, Cynthia Brown day. A seven-hour flight each 17th Street zendo after a long ing out how to transport joined the board of The way allowed me to sit still, my absence, I am always stunned myself to the next , 200 Tricycle Foundation, which eyes hidden behind sunglasses by how lovingly I am wel- miles from where I live; when publishes Tricycle magazine. staring at the back of the seat comed by the sangha. I am I’m struggling to find time in ahead. I alternated this style of my busy schedule for phone heartened by how the "furnace" Loretta Mijares and her hus- with another: sitting of the zendo propels my prac- daisan. At these times, my band Jonathan Greenberg wel- normally as a passenger but tice forward. mind starts viewing my dis- comed their second son, adding full awareness to activ- tance as a hardship. Gabriel, on the night of ities such as eating, walking I bring that support back home November 7. Gabriel weighed through the aisle, using the with me, and on the best days, "If only I could just hop on the 8 lbs. 2 ozs., and his arrival bathroom, reading, writing. subway and be at the zendo!" I in my tiny home zendo, my sit- coincided with the also-some- After many hours of moving ting is stronger because of it. think, failing to consider that what-dramatic results of the stillness, my vision expanded maybe now and then my fel- --Carrie Abels mid-term Congressional through the window. Skies low sangha members in New elections. changing hues, clouds shaped York City have a hard time By far the greatest challenge of like snow, majestic mountain getting themselves on the sub- Zen practice as a new mother Carrie Abels plans to visit peaks, landscapes of immensi- way to 17th Street. (Please tell India in January and February. ty: pure, clear, undisturbed. has been the struggle to sit me you do!) zazen regularly, for a signifi- She will travel from New What is this? Who am I? I cant period of time, at the same Delhi down to Kerala, stop- sighed in awe, fogging the Lately, however, I have been time of day, or even, on many ping at nature reserves, glass, noticing my breath. As losing interest in seeing my days, at all. At first, I tried very Buddhist sites, and farms, and the plane descended passing long-distance membership as a hard to continue on with the hopes to write about her expe- through layers of clouds, I drawback. Adopting such a (Continued on page 3) riences. (Continued from page 2 ) both at the same time." While mothering life as practice— same zazen schedule, with these experiments and trials not only all the "easy" the minor complication of a were essential, I now realize moments, the moments of Still. baby in my lap. I suppose that I was limiting my practice sheer joy at watching these News from Still Mind Zendo this is a version of the soon- by trying to fit it into my past boundless lives unfold before to-be first-time mother who concepts of what practice was. my very eyes, but also the January 2007 Vol. 4 No.1 persuades herself that life Two and a half years later, I "tough" moments, the sleep- won’t be all that different have come to recognize a much less nights, countless meals Editor with a child. But the undeni- different practice. Two attitudes and diapers, and uncertainty Cynthia Brown able reality is that these new have been the most helpful: about parenting choices. This Design little beings have intense First, acceptance, with compas- practice has pushed my Mark Rubin demands and needs that can- sion, that at this moment in my process of awakening deeper not be scheduled or ignored. I life, I’ll sit when I can, con- and deeper, until I have come Poetry Editors Jean Gallagher had to accept that my practice stantly shifting with nap sched- to see that caring for another Gregory Abels would necessarily change. ules and available child care being completely dependent (and now a newborn!). I have on me is a great opportunity Art Editor My next strategy was to try come to trust that my great to realize non-duality, the Bruce Kennedy to make a conscious effort to need to sit will not allow me to opportunity, if I embrace it, Enso (sumi circle) meditatively engage in the "coast" or grow lax, so I have to completely and totally dis- artwork by repetitive activities that I had mostly stopped punishing integrate my sense of self, as Mayumi Ishino to do anyway, like nursing. myself if I don’t manage to sit me, parent, separate in the But I was rather self-con- every morning. world. The gift of practicing scious about it, making a Zen in challenging circum- Still Mind Zendo is a non-sectar- strong distinction between Second, a deeper appreciation stances? Zazen, childcare, ian Zen community in the of and greater commitment to zendo, home, sangha, solitary Soto/Rinzai of the White what felt like two separate Plum Asangha. It was founded activities, "meditating" and fully embodying all the sitter — no difference at all. in 1994 by its now resident "nursing," and trying to "do moments and activities of my -- Loretta Mijares teacher Sensei Janet Jiryu Abels. Still Mind Zendo is incorporated as a not-for-profit organization in the State of New York and run by a Council (the Board of THE ALTAR…WHY WE BOW Directors) made up of SMZ members. Bowing is just bowing. Ultimately, there is no meaning to it, no gain from it. Just sitting. Just walking. Just bowing. Council President: Tom Carney But in the realm of the relative, bowing at the altar has significance. Vice President: Gregory Abels For the altar is us. Secretary: Julia McEvoy Treasurer: Tom Carney Our four elements: Cynthia Brown candle: fire/energy Marisa Cespedes incense: air/breath Jean Gallagher water: liquid/life-blood Mark Rubin flowers: earth/body Ben Shelton Our buddha-nature: buddha: awaked-ness /no-self Spiritual Director: Janet Jiryu Abels Submissions for articles So when we bow, we bow to ourself. and poetry for Still. No meaning. No gain. should be sent to: No meaning. No loss. [email protected] Just bow. Just this. Just now. Complete.

Sensei Janet Jiryu Abels

Two Poems by Richard Goldberg

Saturday night outside my window: One brief horn honk Still Mind Zendo shouts, squeals, honks, laughter— thru the cool morning rain 37 W. 17th Street New York, N.Y. 10011 the raucous roar and splatter of life. reveals the world. Phone 212-414-3128 There is no noise. [email protected] www.stillmindzendo.org Still Mind Zendo Schedule Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Morning Sitting Morning Sitting Morning Sitting Morning Sitting Morning Sitting Morning Sitting Arrive 7:20 A . M . Arrive 7:20 A . M . Arrive 7:20 A . M . Arrive 7:20 A . M . Arrive 7:20 A . M . Arrive 8:45 A . M . Sitting 7:30-8:30 Sitting 7:30-8:30 Sitting 7:30-8:30 Sitting 7:30-8:30 Sitting 7:30-8:30 Sitting 9:00-11 : 0 0 Tea (optional) Evening Sitting Evening Sitting Arrive 6:40 P. M . Arrive 6:40 P. M . Sitting 7:00-9:00 Sitting 7:00-9:00

For First-Time Visitors About Becoming a Member Extended Sittings Registration for all Events to Still Mind Zendo Membership is an option for Weekend Sesshin: Please contact the zendo or Whether you are new to sitting those who have decided to February 9 - 11, 2007 visit the website for event or have a long-held practice, make a longer-term commit- –Garrison Institute information and registration. please call Still Mind Zendo at ment to their Zen practice with (212) 414-3128 prior to visit- SMZ. Further information Sesshin in the City: Zendo Location & Contact Info ing the zendo for the first time. membership can be found on April 13-15 Still Mind Zendo For first-time Zen practition- the Membership Registration –at Still Mind Zendo, NYC 37 W. 17th Street, 6th floor ers, we ask that you attend our Form available at the zendo or New York, N.Y. 10011 Introduction to Zen workshop on our website. Weekend Sesshin: Between 5th & 6th Avenues (see below). November 16 - 18, 2007 Becoming a Formal Student Telephone: (212) 414-3128. –Garrison Institute [email protected] For practitioners interested in *Introduction to Zen www.stillmindzendo.org On the 1st and 3rd Tuesday of becoming a formal student of (all day sitting): each month the zendo offers Sensei Abels please speak to January 13, 2007 newcomers an Introduction to her. Requirements: to be a cur- March 10, 2007 Zen workshop. Please visit rent member of SMZ; to have May 12, 2007 our website for details or call practiced regularly with the June 23, 2007 us for a brochure. sangha for at least one year.