HONI SOIT Issue 16 AUGUST 17th 2011 12-10pm The revue madness continues with THE ARTS REVUE OR HOW WE LEARNT TO LOVE AGAIN and, from the law faculty, THE SOCIALLY AWKWARD NETWORK opening tonight. Head to the Seymour Centre for two great shows! Arts is on til Fri, Law til Sat. Get in quick! $12-23. 7.30PM If you want to get your comedy fix off campus, WED then get down to the Comedy Store at Moore Park for a very special show, STAND UP FOR THE HOPE OF CAMBODIAN CHILDREN. Featuring P52’s own Michael Hing, as well as a host of local talent, the show will raise $$ for children in need. $25 17th 3-5PM And joining the party, THE ED REVUE, GLADIATAR.. $12- 18, also at the Seymour. Go! Enjoy! These people will one day be responsible for our kids!

7PM-9AM One of Humanitarian Week’s highlights is the annual YOUNG VINNIES SLEEP OUT. Camp out on Gadigal Green tonight and experience what homelessness can feel like. With inspiring speakers and talented musicians on hand to educate and entertain, PICK OF it’s sure to be a fulfilling night. Make some likeminded friends! THE WEEK Register at the ACCESS Desk. $5/15, dinner and b/fast provided.

• 5pm-8pm After a week of enlightenment, share the love at the Humanitarian Week WRAP UP PARTY. Bevvies, pizza, • hypnotic interactive lightshows from Punk Monk Propaganda. HUG EVERYONE is our only request. FREE.

8pm Those ironic enough to fork out over 100 nuggets for a ticket to WINTERBEATZ should don their gold Diva hoops and hi- tops to break it down with 50 Cent and G Unit, Mario, Lil Kim and FRI Fabolous at Sydney Ent Cent.

4-6PM Up for a road trip with ART at the end? Australian abstract legend FRED WILLIAMS revolutionised landscape painting from the 1950s onward, and you can wander among his works at the NGA in Canberra. $10 for students and absolutely worth the petrol money. SAT 8PM Sydney’s favourite ambient electricians, SEEKAE bring their organic electronica to The Metro. The venue is tiered, so even shorties can see. ‘Kay? BAM! $20, and they’ll throw in The Laurels and Laurence Pike. Electriffic. 20th 04 05 10:30am Where dem hoes at? They be bringin’ all the boys to the yard at the ABC GARDENING AUSTRALIA EXPO. Shovel out 17 beans and make tracks to Rosehill Gardens Racecourse. There will be blood... and bone.

FROM 8am ROCKABILLY QUIFFS! They’re... EVERYWHERE. Don a teddy boy suit, a leather jacket and a skirt of poodle and hit up the FIFTIES FAIR at Wahroonga’s Rose Seidler SUN House. $20 for students. 07

10Am Only a couple of days left to get your entries in for the PHOTOSOC PHOTO COMPETITION: the Mystery Envelope Challenge! Entrants must take a series of photos involving a balloon, pencil, toy soldier, playing card and the theme “favourite”, but that’s the only limitation. Goodies up for grabs! More info MON available from [email protected]. Entries due 26th/8. 08 1pm Tute hottie makes eye contact with you. There, fuel for the week, jerk.

6.30pm SPRING DANCE returns to the Opera House for two weeks, showcasing contemporary dance’s very best. With performances from groups and individuals such as DV8 Physical Theatre and Chunky Move, and a TUE 10 program of film and talks, the dance lover will definitely find something to satisfy. $0-35. 23rd THE LOVECHILD: DISCLAIMER ACTUAL RETRACTION Honi Soit is published by the Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney, O Kanye West Honi Soit and the SRC retract the allegations Level 1 Wentworth Building, City Road, University of Sydney, NSW, 2006. The SRC’s Ashley Olsen operation costs, space and administrative support are financed by the University of made in Honi Soit Issue 8 (4 May 2011) Sydney. The editors of Honi Soit and the SRC acknowledge the traditional owners of in the article “Sexual Harrasment in Our this land, the Gadigal people of the Eora nation. Honi Soit is written, printed, and Backyard”, and the subsequent references distributed on Aboriginal land. Honi Soit is printed under the auspices of the SRC’s How to made in the Women’s Officers report in directors of student publications: Pat Massarani, Rhys Pogonoski, Deborah White, Honi Soit Issue 9 (11 May 2011) regarding Pierce Hartigan, Alistair Stephenson and Meghan Bacheldor. All expressions are published on the basis that they are not to be regarded as the opinions of the SRC burn that an incident at Sydney University Village. unless specifically stated. The Council accepts no responsibility for the accuracy of any of the opinions or information contained within this newspaper, nor does it giant hole These articles suggested that Sydney endorse any of the advertisements and insertions. Honi Soit is printed by MPD. University Village (SUV) does not take ADVERTISING: To advertise in Honi Soit, contact Tina Kao or Amanda LeMay you’ve potential incidences and allegations of [email protected] assault and sexual assault seriously. SUV www.src.usyd.edu.au always has a strict protocol for the investigation of all matters of this nature, and this protocol THIS WEEK’S TEAM wanted. was adhered to in the full investigation QUEEN OF THE EDITORS: Neada Bulseco of the alleged incident. SUV and the Village Director took all the appropriate EDITORS: Jacqueline Breen, James Colley, and necessary steps in dealing with the Bridie Connell, Shannon Connellan, Andy 8 alleged incident, and in no way attempted Fraser, Julian Larnach, Michael Richardson, DAD JOKE OF THE WEEK: to “sweep it under the rug” as the articles Laurence Rosier Staines, Tom Walker What’s plastic-wrapped published in Honi Soit suggest. REPORTERS: Conor Bateman, Michael Koziol, Please and lives on top of a The SRC and Honi Soit retract the David Mack, Tim Scriven. cathedral? allegations made in these articles and open your apologise sincerely for any damage caused CONTRIBUTORS: David Allinson, Robin The lunchpack of Notre to the reputation of both SUV and the Bland, Scott Brownless, Ivan Cheng, Vanessa mind, Dame! Village Director, Todd Handy. Hill, Nancy Lee, Sascha Nanlohy, Phil Roser, Samantha Russo and your The SRC believes that the trivialisation of assault (including sexual assault) or CRUCIVERBALIST: Jim Fishwick gates! attempted assault in any way is not HONEY SUAVE COVER: Neada Bulseco acceptable. This retraction does not intend Are you Sci-Tech? to imply the acceptance of dealing with COMIC: Alessandro Tuniz No. Okay. I’ll be over here. sexual assault in particular in a way that is different from the way with which any other criminal matter would be dealt. 9 The first HONI SOIT revue WEEK 4 ISSUE reviews of CONTENTS 17TH AUGUST 2011 the season. LETTERS FEATURE 04 ACTUAL MAIL! 12 MICHAEL RICHARDSON gets fired up, and so should you. CAMPUS 14 05 IVAN CHENG recites “Man on lamp beat THE ARTS BIT lamb in dress.” Or something. PHIL ROSER sorts out the best Thai VANESSA HILL commences Operation 14 restaurant on King St once and for Cumbo Drop. all. Get munching. Try these JULIAN LARNACH talks about the Winter SHANNON CONNELLAN Sleepout. regurgitates all over you. balls out ANDY FRASER fixed the leak in the sink DAVID MACK is also a thing white for size! but then bugged your phone. people like. ROBIN BLAND is a little angry about Med Revue. NEWS CONOR BATEMAN is dancing SASCHA NANLOHY talks about the origin around. 07 of the world’s newest nation. NEADA BULSECO reads newspapers and tweets the Google. SPORT TIM SCRIVEN thinks that riots have a It’s getting down to Finals time and the reason, if not a purpose. 16 ball’s in the air. Which is the best code?

FARRAGO JACQUELINE BREEN has hoop dreams. 16 SCOTT BROWNLESS is bustin’ out the 08 science. SRC GRIBBLIES NANCY LEE mourns the passing of a true 17 Mr Chad can’t carry it for you but can Crizzle Aussie icon. carry YOU! NEADA BULSECO is probably getting crozzle arrested for this. DAVID ALLINSON weighs in on the cruzzle refugee debate. CRYPTONOMICON 20 The twisted imaginings of crypto SAMANTHA RUSSO on fantastic charity AIME. ALESSANDRO TUNIZ

JAMES COLLEY watches waaay too much JIM FISHWICK is a 6-letter word crossy! West Wing. meaning smart. THE PROFILES MICHAEL KOZIOL and LAURENCE 10 ROSIER-STAINES chat to Andrew Naylor and Jake Lynch, two humanitarian advocates approaching the issue from 20 different ends of the argument. If you have any ? thoughts or comments on anything in this issue of Honi Soit, please write to us at: THE EDITORIAL [email protected] Re: the smoking ban I can’t count the number of times i have There are few fragrant ciggie smoke wafting into my face questions that and sticking to my freshly shampooed hair, Hungry Hungy Hippo-crites letters can provoke more philosophical debate than whether at building entrances (where all Dear Honi, perhaps the most pertinent to the smokers like to take their breaks) or at humankind: why does man continue covered areas. and no the smoke doesn’t I support every form of hypocrisy, but to fight fellow man? It has been an ‘dissipate far too quickly’ when i can still if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s internal battle fought since time immemorial, see it. hypocrisy. In your editorial and feature on leading to death and destruction the world over, the media (Honi 1114), you railed against yet we continue to wage war against our neighbours; when i can see it and smell it, it’s cancer- the mainstream media for rushing to print our kinsmen. Humans are like any animal: selfish and causing secondhand smoke and are the on items they know mightn’t be true. I territorial. Survival of the fittest might seem an archaic smokers gonna pay for my medical bills? was intrigued, then to have seen in Honi approach to modern living but, deep down, it reigns supreme Thanks, 1113 the news that I was running for Honi across the world’s population. But why, in this civilised age editorship next year, in print a full 7 days of technology, is the infliction of pain or deprivation of basic Min Lim before I myself had decided whether I was human rights so prevalent? Put quite simply, it is because going to run. (I ultimately decided that I was humans act instinctively in order to fulfil their desires. And it is Masters of Commerce an almost wholly unified desire to live and for that life to unfold not.) to the best possible outcome, in the best possible environment. SRC journalism stumbles Also in your editorial, (Honi 1114) as part In the case of asylum seekers in this country, many Australians of a discussion about the media making believe it is their “right” to deny others the refuge they might baseless assertations to suit an agenda, find here. From a more global and humanitarian perspective, Dear Eds, refugees are our equals; they sleep, breathe, cry, laugh and was the assertion that we are not to hurt just as we do. Their children starve when they are not fed; I would like to take issue with the article “bring unwarranted generalisations... into their hearts ache for those that die. We are merely the lucky “Have lots of sex - if you want to” (Issue discussions that don’t need them.” (p. 4) who fell into this privileged existence. 15, August 10th). My concern is that the In the same editorial, we find: author spent five paragraphs expounding We are the lucky and ungrateful. The Malaysia Solution does the wonders of the humble condom before not qualify as a humanitarian response to the desperate “Let us acknowledge the fact that, politics admitting that “a scenario [they] haven’t measures asylum seekers have gone to in order to reach our aside, most people would probably be shores, at least in my books. It may not be a personal attack talked about much here is women having libertarians” (Honi 1114, p. 4) on the liberties of others, but to ignore the potential harm sex with women”. They then reveal their And in your feature last week, you ran: that may come to those processed in Malaysia is an equally generally uninformed opinion about one abhorrent act. We have been given so much, and yet our type of contraception available to women “Although nearly everyone agrees that a) willingness to share has barely matured since the sandpit. The and direct anyone seeking information to helping people in need is important and b) English riots depicted the sheer anarchy that can fall upon a “call ACON”, without providing any contact surely not anyone should be allowed to just First-World, civilised and wealthy nation. We’ve all seen the details for them. From the preceding waltz into any country they choose” (Honi YouTube footage and read the articles depicting the horror that paragraphs, it appears that the author had 1115, p. 13) unfolded, as empathy and compassion fell short of personal researched, or at least was already well- aspiration. Watching the scenes of buildings aflame and the informed about, condom usage, philosophy Now, I recognise that journalism doesn’t injured preyed upon in the streets of London, I couldn’t help and safe sex-with-a-penis habits. That have the same rigour as an academic essay. but think that this is the future. Most of the perpetrators But if these generalisations are necessary were young, like us. The destruction caused by these youths is the author had the temerity to tack on a unfathomable to us in a sense, but stems from the same origin paragraph admitting their lazy research and for proving points, then shouldn’t you have that has caused the solution to be Malaysia: we don’t give a effectively dismissing the issue is insulting some evidence to back them up? If they’re shit. Or, perhaps more importantly, we don’t take a stand. and belittling. so well-known that you don’t need to back them up, are they necessary for proving Famously, T.S. Eliot ended The Hollow Men with the line, “this I understand that this is more of a queer your point? is how the world ends: not with a bang but a whimper.” Eliot issue, but the writer had not differentiated predicted the world that we live in today; a world in which we between queer and non-queer condom If there is to be whingeing, (and whingeing remain firmly entrenched in the small circles that we know, use earlier in the article and should not there should definitely be) about standards occasionally venturing out for a brief exploration before a quick have brought it up if they were unwilling to in the media, just make sure you’re applying retreat to what, and who, we know. At this rate, we will simply discuss it. An article outlining the ins and the same standards to yourself. shuffle towards the end, whimpering all the way. But this is not outs of contraception for non-heterosexual how the world has to be. There is still an opportunity for us to Am I being petty? Absolutely. See that hand sexual activity might well appear in Queer put two feet firmly on the ground and stand in defiance against that’s feeding me? Chomp chomp chomp. those who commit atrocities across the globe. You – and I – can Honi, but it should be free to feel at home in make a world of difference and, in doing this, make the world a the pages of any issue of Honi Soit. Hugs and kisses, different - and better - place. Yours, Jim Fishwick Neada Bulseco Sara Amorosi Arts II P.S. This week is Humanitarian Week, so take action now with Treasurer the bevy of events that promote the adherence to basic human rights across the world. See our What’s On for dates and times. Sydney University Queer Revue Society Stephen Blushed Chad-tastic!

This letter came with Hey guys! Dear Editors, the headline ‘Fuck’ Just felt compelled to let you know that I found the latest General Secretary’s Stephen Sharpe’s article about visas and report to be, in comparison with the usual Dear Honi, moving overseas was brilliant! standard, refreshingly honest and clear in I would like to clear up that the message Simple & effective, but also inspiring. At age both its content and reasoning. I would from Isabelle W in this week’s Honi is not 25, I know have a fire under my ass to make however advise against such a grotesque me, in case anyone thought it was. I am an use of the UK youth mobility scheme before font for the body of the text. excellent speller and love the foul language 30!! Yours faithfully, in every edition of Honi Soit. Great job everyone! Except that other Isabelle. Way to go Honi, and thank you Stephen. Laurence Barratt-Manning Cheers Kind regards, Arts III Melanie Isabelle W Arts II 4 Arts I " Health Science Headlines HoniLeaks This just in - donuts give you cancer. Shit. ANDY FRASER investigates that leak in your kitchen, VANESSA HILL reports from Cumberland campus. and your phone. What’s happening at Cumbo? Of course purple on main campus, competing in there’s the standard prodding of lifeless Interfaculty Sport, or desperately trying With the SRC and Honi elections looming, In an effort to deliver the promise of limbs and studying copious amounts of to prove ourselves worthy of a place in tickets are being scrambled together, transparency to its members, the Union physiology out near the ol’ Rookwood the main campus’ AUG teams for the Gold partnerships made, backs stabbed and Board has set up a blog. Along with cemetery in Lidcombe, but there’s so Coast trip in September. anonymous phone threats dished. Out of getting hip-star and new-age, this blog much more than that on the agenda for the four known presidential candidates, will be used as a tool for the Board to It was decided that Cumbo would extend Semester 2 at Cumberland. one has been receiving some anonymous directly communicate the status of the the invitation to our bi-annual ESSSA warnings over the talky-phone-box. University-Union negotiations with its

Sydney Harbour cruise to EVERYONE (well, campus Us Cumbo’s came to life in the crisp Unfortunately we can’t mention their members. A promising start by the new at least all USyd peeps). From what I gather, Canberra cold of July, swaggering away name because we’ve once again been Board which was kickstarted by President it seems to be in a similar league to Law from Eastern University Games with threatened with the sue-card. Honestly, Sibella Matthews’ article on the 4th of Revue’s The Socially Awkward Network, but a heavy Ann Mitchell trophy (yeah, can everyone get over this “let’s sue August titled ‘Negotiating Commercial on a boat. Unfortunately by the time you per capita!) and a bout of sickness. Honi” bullshit? We’ve got no money to Operations’. Make sure to keep an eye read this, the cruise will be over and our After many diagnoses of bronchitis support this stuck-up, egotistical trend on this space: www.yourunionboard. hangovers still subsiding. Maybe next time. (seriously) and the reminiscence (and we’ll publish you naked). Anyway, blogspot.com. The most comforting Check out the ESSSA Facebook page for on fond memories, we think it is you’ll have to do a small amount of sentiment of the article ensures us that happy snaps and word of upcoming parties. appropriate to report that Cumberland shallow digging if you want to uncover nothing drastic will happen without You’re all totally invited. students wholeheartedly got involved the truth. Apparently skeletons have our say so. Matthews writes, “we are in everything that the University Games Now there’s that study thing happening been found in this particular SRC constitutionally obliged to take any had to offer. Particular mentions to as well. Quite a few disciplines are out candidate’s closet, misogynistic skeletons. agreement with the University to a Men and Women’s football and Rugby on practicum placement this semester, These phone calls warn to uncover the General Meeting of the Union, and 7s ‘Hardmen’ for winning gold in their so while campus is quieter, prospective dirt covering the closet that covers the approval of such an agreement would divisions. As a Cumbo Volleyballer, I health professionals are gaining hands-on skeletons if the candidate continues to require a special majority to succeed. was beaming with pride when the main experience to be the best in their field upon run in the presidential race. Therefore, the final approval of any campus girls won gold in our division. graduation. Excellent. We’ve also got a GEM arrangement with the University rests in Sharing is caring, right? information session approaching on August In other news, independent councillors the members’ hands.” have sent a letter directly to the So we thought we’d keep the sport 18 with insight into finding direction in the Vice Chancellor, Dr. Michael Spence, coming at Cumbo. Campus Rewards health industry. The Careers Centre staff “But what do I do now? I’m all riled up regarding the SRC meeting that didn’t (Cumbo Union) have thrown in a few has even been spotted onsite, providing and I can’t just sit around doing nothing.” take place last Wednesday (read Jesse Is that what I hear you saying? No? Well free yoga and pilates classes, and $1000 resume rescues and interview preparation Burrows’ talks on the meeting below). say it. SAY IT! You could always think is up for grabs in the ever-competitive workshops. The letter suggests a recall of funding about working to ensure the Federal lunchtime sport draw. Make sure to be Cumberland representatives will be making for an organisation (SRC) that doesn’t government passes a Student Services around on Tuesdays from 12-1pm. The an appearance at the University of Sydney support students but rather indulges self- and Amenities Bill. We need to guarantee oval is where it’s at. Open Day on August 27 (that’s a Saturday). righteous student politicians. A snippet: that the compulsory student contribution You’ll also catch a glimpse of us in If you’re around, please make us feel “there is a toxic and unproductive culture lands in the pockets of the student welcome on that big, bad campus you call within the council that ought not to be Unions and isn’t siphoned into the desk home. rewarded with the University’s already draws of the chancellors. SRC WAH! generous funding.” JESSE BURROWS gives her opinion on our reps.

On the 10th of August the 83rd is significant cause to believe that a Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney Students’ Representative Council deal between Labour and the Taliban failed to meet as a result of disgusting Liberals has been struck to protect political manoeuvring on the part of their own interests at the expense of the extreme factions of the Council. students and the democratic processes Want some work! Amongst attempts to illegitimately of Council. This behaviour is nothing cancel the meeting, the extremist short of appalling. factions purposefully withheld quorum Polling Booth assumedly because of the nature of Of the four known SRC Presidential two motions on notice they opposed. Candidates only Tim Matthews (current The first was a motion for a ‘closed Education Officer) was present at the Attendants campus’ during the SRC election, meeting. Phoebe Drake (NLS), James which would rightfully stop non-USyd McLean (Conservative/James Flynn students campaigning. The second Liberal) and Chad Sidler (Taliban Required was a motion to remove the General Liberals) were all absent from the Secretary Chad Sidler (not pictured), meeting. Sidler and McLean made leader of the on campus Taliban themselves incommunicado between The SRC is looking for people to Liberals for ‘gross incompetence and the hours of 6 and 7:30pm and Phoebe tardiness’. Drake, a residential college student, failed to return for the meeting after work on the polling booths for its Thirty minutes prior to the meeting’s the initial cancellation email had been commencement Donherra Walmsley, corrected. elections this year. SRC President and member of NLS (Labor Left) directed an email to The conduct of those absent Councillors If you can work on Council, cancelling the August meeting. is atrocious. They were elected to The email assumed the meeting would represent students but instead favoured Wed 21st Sept and/or Thurs 22nd Sept, not reach quorum, citing a significant political gain and personal interest and attend a training at 4pm Tues 20th Sept, number of last minute apologies over their constituency. They held up and hence should be cancelled. important Council business including we want to hear from you! However, the President does not discussion on the Base Funding Review, have the authority to cancel Council the Student Services and Amenities $29.43 per hour meetings and so, five minutes prior to Fees, the Review of the School of Social the meeting, the Council received a and Political Sciences, the cancellation There may also be an opportunity to undertake second email asking them to disregard of the SCA bus and the formation of additional work at the vote count previous correspondence and attend a Fair Trade Collective. The disregard Application forms are available from the SRC Front Office the meeting. the factions (NLS, Unity & the Taliban (Level 1 Wentworth Building). Liberals) and the absent Councillors For more info, call 9660 5222 or email [email protected]. Of the 33 Councillors only 13 were showed for their fellow Councillors, Applications close 4pm, 7th September 2011 present at any time. Not a single for the SRC and, most importantly, for councillor from NLS (Labor Left), Unity the student body is intolerable and (Labor Right, led by Todd Pinkerton) disgraceful. and the Taliban Liberals (led by Chad Sidler) attended the meeting. There Authorised by Stephen Lesslie, SRC Electoral Officer 2011. Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney: 02 9660 5222 | www.src.usyd.edu.au 5

Stockhausen in MUL.APIN, a concert in MUL.APIN, a concert Stockhausen Collective. The Volta by produced Volta Child, The Destiny’s Similar to of musicians who also consists Collective work presented We’ve solo careers. have Island, as Cockatoo as diverse in venues Rabbit Smallclub and White Goodgod and composers As integrated Gallery. about passionate are we performers, work with a 2012 new exciting forging on the currently Performance of Festival 31 the August Following board. drawing sextet string of new a slew duo concert, in September, will be presented works 5-8 will bring a season of and October , a Instrument Nothing but a Raucous straddling work of a new bold production A website and theatre. chamber opera as Beyoncé launch is also impending. Just years about ten and breathy is rhapsodic the clarinet, with years ten my Z, with Jay you. to I’ll say is what with performing, Listen. Thursday, August 18th 6pm - August 19th 9am, The Cadigal Cadigal The 9am, 19th August - 6pm and 18th drink August Food, Thursday, NON-ACCESS. ACCESS/$15 $5 Greens, provided. boxes cardboard – more importantly – company to the Sydney homeless homeless Sydney the to – company importantly – more community. having received, (and best annual event Their biggest Sleepout. is the Winter of the Year) Event the 2009 won the Sleepout provides on the 18th August, Coming up rough’. of those who ‘sleep lives the into a glimpse information course: simple a pretty follows The night then homelessness advocates sessions with leading to listening cards, of playing evening chilled a pretty bring to invited outside. You’re music and sleeping of (layers warm keep need to much you however bottle) and are clothes, sleeping bag, hot water see you as boxes cardboard with as many provided you try when in kicks real lesson, however, fit. The up woken cardboard you’re cold, get extremities sleep: your to the past, walking people sore and equally horns car by You’re sharp. suddenly gets puts you night one underneath for only it’s that Knowing thankful. and out points Chris to a bedgo home to get you in perspective: everything reality. is this some for but night, opportunity next an the you “provides Sleepout the highly that this on modestly perspective well-rounded more a accrue to issue.” misunderstood and problems the both of awareness your to raises insight the event and The tools the you who’s providing someone of solutions, the lives the in difference little a even make luck. of run bad a had just but you like Nomination forms can be downloaded from the SRC website: Nomination forms can be downloaded from Office SRC Front or picked up from www.src.usyd.edu.au, Building). (Level 1, Wentworth Nominations must also be lodged online along with your policy statement and Curriculum Vitae (optional), by close of nominations information, call 9660 5222. For more at: www.src.usyd.edu.au. Signed nomination forms and a printed copy of your online no later than 4.30pm on Wednesday nomination must be received Office 24th August, either in the locked box at the SRC Front or at the following address: (Level 1 Wentworth), NSW 2007. PO Box 794, Broadway either to the locked box Nominations which have not been delivered office or to the post office box shown above and in the SRC front submitted online by the close of nominations will not be accepted posted. of when they were regardless available on-line to elections are The Regulations of the SRC relating Office the SRC Front or from at www.src.usyd.edu.au Building). (level 1, Wentworth Authorised by Stephen Lesslie, SRC Electoral Officer 2011. Council, The University of Sydney Students’ Representative Phone: 02 9660 5222 | www.src.usyd.edu.au working hard and pushing through While perhaps ovation. a standing being in of elation that licentious, with such a breathtaking a room I hope we is something performance of spoke When Beyoncé all felt. have and pushing through hard working soared. ambition boundaries, my blessed with ample opportunity are We emails Constant within our university. are aside, there about scholarships writing and our new for open calls locally commissions Conservatorium campus- The and internationally. has a program Festival wide Verge and students by work filled with new is I know What collectives. student in: building an I am involved what courts near squash in the installation cast a mesmeric Ralphs, directing of Strindberg’s production in a new Abela and Jacob Pianist Creditors. works new four premiering I are themes aligned for us; celestial written works with seminal zodiac-inspired Crumb and Karlheinz George from Year of 4 on Year our lectures and tutorials with “peers who lack the with “peers and tutorials our lectures of a home.” security and safety causes, so immense with so many But with a problem think. is simpler than you’d do? The answer you can what was Vinnies Society Young University The Sydney into with those in need in mind, making steps created raising and also helping both the homelessness situation with the greatest with those of its existence awareness basis, the Society On a yearly chance of helping: you. homeless Sydney to help the of activities runs a plethora services: run two Brekkie they month Each community. and drink, and food which provide Patrol, and Night Van time to listen to the new or altered or altered to the new to listen time and speaks a performer that language uses. a composer music shifts of classical Perception to trend from of education regardless Beyoncé Some believe peers. being to as Child, just with Destiny’s peaked of the 20th century composers iconic those are held alone, aloft. There are the classics (old and new who love then those who aren’t recordings), of nu- solo brand on Beyoncé’s keen her performance but enjoyed feminism those who find it easier in Dreamgirls, and precursors, girl-group enjoy to Beyoncé. plain like those who just opinion of Beyoncé, of your Regardless seen have might you Alongside documenting BeyoncéVEVO. process and recording her rehearsal footage is candid there in glimpses, and scuba diving. of her tobogganing helms a Beyoncé importantly, More filled with a room party for listening the album label who give her record Nominations for the Students’ Representative Council Annual Nominations for the Students’ Representative 24th Elections for the year 2011 close at 4.30pm Wednesday August 2011. Polling will be held on the 21st and 22nd of will also take place outside the September 2011. Pre-polling Tuesday 20th Wentworth Building on SRC Offices Level 1 10 am - 3pm. All students who are of September 2011 from eligible to vote. are for attendance at lectures duly enrolled Members of the student body who have paid their affiliation eligible to nominate and be nominated, fees to Council are except National Union of Students national office bearers. of the SRC may also nominate as NUS Fulltime officebearers delegates. called for the following elections/positions Nominations are August 2011: and open 3rd (a) to the 84th SRC The election of the Representatives (33 positions) (b) of the 84th SRC of the President The election (c) for the 84th SRC The election of the Editor(s) of Honi Soit (d) The election of National Union of Students delegates for the 84th SRC (7 positions)

Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney Students’ Representative Notice of 2011 Students’ Representative Council Annual Election In Australia, young people are the age bracket most most bracket the age people are young In Australia, 32,444 are There by homelessness. affected largely Uni of 12 and 24. Sydney ages the people between out points Chris Rodrigo Vinnies President, Young be sharing could we chance that a great there’s that Homelessness is a complicated and divisive and divisive Homelessness is a complicated the that hold preconceptions issue. Some people living by it upon themselves brought homeless have the other day, Pitt Street down Walking a ‘bad life’. the and only receive change a man ask for I heard abuse substance Whilst insult “fucking druggo.” it is not of homelessness, a proportion leads to prolonged families, Splintered the major cause. health issues all mental and unemployment the ever-daunting to in a big way contribute your with a fight have ever you Did statistics. Some people run away? to and threaten parents through. followed What does home mean to you? Now don’t answer don’t answer Now you? mean to does home What bed? Is it your a minute. for think straightaway, or X-box Your family? Is it your television? Your that take it mean to would what friends? Now your on rough” “sleeping just Homelessness is not away? couch people It’s station. a train a park bench or at brazen hopping, squatting, living in a shitty place and living week-to- studio’, itself ‘a call enough to point? that reach do you But how week. Young Vinnies Sleep Out Sleep Vinnies Young JULIAN LARNACH has a look at Sydney’s hidden community. Sydney’s at has a look LARNACH JULIAN

June Twenty-Fourth. As the world As the world June Twenty-Fourth. its hands on Beyoncé’s get to clamoured Sydney the into 4, an audience settled the of Music for Conservatorium . L’Operetta of Daniel Manera’s premiere musical A shockingly expletive-filled a men take in which three morsel with a began L’Operetta hostage, sister bed of chamber ensemble fascinating the first towards sound propelling and triggering others. f-bomb is not a typical While this libretto classical’, of ‘contemporary example enough foreign was its sound world prejudice of musical a form that some audience members. strike might they rife; are ‘racists’ These musical without taking on appearance judge PROSE AND CONS PROSE IVAN CHENG explores art, CHENG explores IVAN and The Con. festivals

campus 6 " E Why the creation of News In SASCHA NANLOHY looks at the birth of a Briefs South Sudan matters. new nation out of an age old conflict. NEADA BULSECO is When South Sudan became the world’s 193rd state on secession. As the referendum came and passed, South readying the teleprompter. July 9, 2011 you could have been excused for having no Sudan briefly became the centre of the world’s attention and knowledge of a country that has rarely raised more than a as the results were announced celebrations exploded from The world stopped in shock at the atrocious cursory mention in the Australian media. But the time has Juba to Sydney where Southern Sudanese Australians made riots that caused anarchy in streets across come to stencil a new border onto your map of the world up the largest out of country voting block. England, leaving 5 dead. Read the article because the Republic of South Sudan is here, and here to below for why this happened. stay. Yet a transition to Southern independence was not smooth. Issues around oil revenues, citizenship and borders remain More trouble in Syria, with 13 anti-regime The independence of South Sudan from the nation of unresolved even after independence. In late May the protesters killed by gunfire on Friday. Thousands once again walked in defiance Sudan came after fifty years of civil war that left over 2.5 Sudanese army launched an assault on the area of Abyei of President Bashar al-Assad’s authoritarian million people, mainly civilians, dead. Sudan, formerly which is home of the Dinka Ngok, a Southern tribe, and rule, provoking national troops to respond the largest country in Africa, has been condemned to the the traditional grazing lands of the Misseriya, an Arab with arms. Mass mobilisation was organised scourge of civil war that has beset much of Africa since nomadic tribe. Following the invasion of Abyei the war primarily through Facebook group ‘Syrian decolonisation. The South is made up of Black African threatened to resume; however the South, wishing to see Revolution 2011’, which advocates that Christians or Animists from hundreds of different tribal their day of independence, did not engage. After high level citizens should only bow to God, not groups, the largest being Dinka and Nuer. The North talks, Northern forces largely withdrew and have since power-hungry politicians. Double-digit is largely, though not exclusively, made up of Arabic been replaced by a 4000 strong contingent of Ethiopian deathtolls are becoming commonplace, Muslims. When decolonisation swept the continent the peacekeepers. The Sudanese army then launched an attack with the total number of fatalities since British, who had stayed in the North and delegated power on the Nuba Mountains. The governor of Southern Kordofan, protests began reaching a confirmed 2,150. to Christian missionaries in the South, decided to keep Ahmed Haroun, who was a key architect of the first genocide The US has threatened further sanctions, urging China and India to do the same. US the country as one. In response to discrimination and in the Nuba Mountains, an administrator for Darfur and Ambassador Robert Ford challenged Syrian disenfranchisement, Southern groups rebelled and fought minister for humanitarian affairs during the genocide there, Foreign Minister Walid Muallem to take this for independence in the first Sudanese civil war that killed has led the campaign in the Nuba Mountains. He is currently outside. 500,000 people until the war was settled in 1972. under warrant for arrest by the International Criminal Court, along with President Bashir. Evidence of mass atrocities, Also ringing in the weekend was the news Why? from mass killing of civilians in summary executions to derailing of an inter-city train in Poland, which left one dead and 56 hospitalised. the destruction of villages suggest the campaigns of In 1983, after the breakdown of the peace agreement, the The first carriage of the Warsaw-Katowice Sudan Peoples Liberation Movement (SPLA) were formed extermination are not over. service flipped on its side, while another under the leadership of Dr John Garang, a Dinka. He took In the South today, while there is independence, the country three derailed to a lesser extent. The cause his small group to Ethiopia where they trained and began is at the bottom of all development indexes, little more than is still unknown. Stockhausen in MUL.APIN, a concert to wage war against the Sudanese army in the South. The two percent of the country are educated, millions of small An inquest into Mark Holcroft’s 2009 produced by The Volta Collective. SPLA did not fight for Southern Independence, rather arms drift around the country, militias and cattle raiders kill death in police custody revealed that Similar to Destiny’s Child, The Volta they fought for a New Sudan, one that was democratic, hundreds and the potential for the country to devolve into a insufficient care from Justice Health is to Collective consists of musicians who also secular and respected fundamental human rights. After failed state is high. blame. Holcroft suffered from a heart attack have solo careers. We’ve presented work several regime changes, the Islamist National Congress in the back of a police van while being transported between correction centres. in venues as diverse as Cockatoo Island, Party (the NCP) took power in 1989. The NCP (led by Omar Why does the creation of South Sudan matter? al Bashir and Hasan Al Turabi) conducted campaigns of After suffering chest pains the previous Goodgod Smallclub and White Rabbit South Sudan matters because we have an obligation as week, Holcroft sought medical attention. A Gallery. As integrated composers and genocide and other mass atrocities. These included the attempt to destroy the Nuba people (who are a mixture human beings to care and to work to prevent further prison doctor misread the test results, and performers, we are passionate about the pleas to officers from a fellow inmate of Christians and Muslims), in an attempt that formed atrocities being committed against these people. forging exciting new work with a 2012 Independence is only the start of the road that will bring during Holcroft’s attack were ignored for Festival of Performance currently on the was the prototype for the campaigns of mass killing, mass nearly an hour. Holcroft was serving a mere rape, forced displacement and scorched earth that were South Sudan out of war and into peace, development drawing board. Following the August 31 and prosperity. Rather than take our eyes off this land of seven-month sentence for drink driving and duo concert, a slew of new string sextet used in other parts of Sudan, notably the Darfur region in considered a low-risk inmate. Cue NWA. the West of the country. immense beauty in the heart of Africa we must maintain works will be presented in September, our gaze. Australia has the potential to be a great friend One Nation re-registered last week to and October 5-8 will bring a season of Four million Southerners fled the south during the war. of the South. We have a large Southern diaspora; our ensure their position in the Queensland Nothing but a Raucous Instrument, a They moved to Ethiopia, Kenya, Uganda, and Egypt and economy, which is based on agriculture and extractives, state election next year. First banana prices, bold production of a new work straddling then many found their way to Australia which has the could greatly assist the economic development of Sudan. now this. Liberal-minded monkeys are chamber opera and theatre. A website largest Sudanese population of any Western nation. In the Southern Sudanese agriculture could feed the horn of Africa, outraged. launch is also impending. Just as Beyoncé mid 1990s the conflict took on geopolitical dimensions the hydroelectric power of the Nile could light the country. Tina Fey had a baby girl. Visions of a female is rhapsodic and breathy about ten years as the US began to back the SPLA against the NCP by South Sudan matters, to the region, to the continent, to the take on the Dr Evil/Mini Me relationship with Jay Z, my ten years with the clarinet, funnelling money and arms through Uganda. The NCP world. With knowledge comes responsibility and ignorance ensued. with performing, is what I’ll say to you. leadership was dominated by fundamentalists and housed of the plight of South Sudan is no longer an excuse. The Fitness freaks and bogans in fairy costumes Listen. Osama Bin Laden for many years during the mid 1990s. question remains, what will your place be in the next fifty came out to play, as thousands stomped The SPLA were stuck in a stalemate for many years unable years of the story of the Southern Sudanese? the bitumen for City2Surf. to defeat the NCP and its many proxies. Tribal power struggles divided the movement. Those who deserted TIMOTHY SCRIVEN looks at the catalysts for catastrophe. the SPLA often became proxies of the North and were I PREDICT A RIOT! given nominal positions in Khartoum. Yet the North Let’s talk riots in England and how to people and we shall soon see disorder war, and perhaps most importantly, the was unable to win or to develop while war waged. This explain them. There’s enough shit being across the manors, palaces, mansions fact that everyone else is doing it. It’s mutually painfully stalemate gave rise to the opportunity flung around about this topic to make and McMansions of Britain. Robust especially important not to assume that Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney Nominations for the Students’ Representative Council Annual Nomination forms can be downloaded from the SRC website: for a peace agreement. From 2002, the war was scaled hate-ape blush. Think of these as some welfare in Scandnavian countries does just because people are hitting the wrong absolute ground rules for talking about not seem to have induced riots. If you targets they are not acting out of anger. Elections for the year 2011 close at 4.30pm Wednesday 24th www.src.usyd.edu.au, or picked up from SRC Front Office down and after years of painstaking negotiations the Notice of 2011 August 2011. Polling will be held on the 21st and 22nd of (Level 1, Wentworth Building). the English riots. Following these rules think A causes B in circumstance C, By the same token, don’t confuse motives September 2011. Pre-polling will also take place outside the comprehensive peace agreement, brokered by the US, was will not ensure that your explanation then you’d better be able to explain with causes; what is going through the Nominations must also be lodged online along with your policy SRC Offices Level 1 Wentworth Building on Tuesday 20th eventually signed in Naivasha, Kenya in 2005. makes any sense, but if you stick to them why A often does not seem to cause B mind of individual protestors may be quite Students’ statement and Curriculum Vitae (optional), by close of nominations of September 2011 from 10 am - 3pm. All students who are you should avoid complete stupidity. in other circumstances. different to the ultimate structural roots at: www.src.usyd.edu.au. For more information, call 9660 5222. duly enrolled for attendance at lectures are eligible to vote. How? of what’s going on. Representative Firstly I don’t want to hear explanations Thirdly, can we stop pretending that Members of the student body who have paid their affiliation Signed nomination forms and a printed copy of your online The agreement gave autonomy back to the South and a of the form “it’s happened because the the rioters are homogenous, rational Fourthly- and this is more about not being Council fees to Council are eligible to nominate and be nominated, nomination must be received no later than 4.30pm on Wednesday subjects, with precise motives and a douchebag than anything else- can we promise of a referendum on independence in 2011. In the protestors are criminals” or “it happened except National Union of Students national office bearers. 24th August, either in the locked box at the SRC Front Office because the protestors are mindless feral ideas? This applies to the left and the stop talking about the need to “control Annual Election Fulltime officebearers of the SRC may also nominate as NUS (Level 1 Wentworth), or at the following address: meantime the country was to undergo reforms designed vermin children.” Why was there such a right both. Suggesting that the rioters the underclass”. I’m not exaggerating delegates. PO Box 794, Broadway NSW 2007. to make Sudanese unity attractive. However, as the critical mass of criminals and/or ‘mindless are acting purely out of greed, or here. These are precisely the terms that Nominations are called for the following elections/positions Nominations which have not been delivered either to the locked box genocide in Darfur took the attention of the international scum’ in England, at this time, to make destructive glee, or righteous anger are being used, and not just in the baser at the tyranny of the bourgeoisie segments of the press either. Bonus points and open 3rd August 2011: in the SRC front office or to the post office box shown above and community few cared about monitoring the lack of this happen? Some commentators seem reduces both the variation among the if you stop complaining about how the submitted online by the close of nominations will not be accepted to believe that explanations, beyond (a) The election of the Representatives to the 84th SRC progress in the South. As deadline after deadline passed rioters, and the complexity of what police no longer have enough power to regardless of when they were posted. the attribution of bad character to the (33 positions) unmet, the status of Southern Sudan looked ever more protestors, are necessarily excuses and is going on their heads. Many seeds inspire ‘respect’ (read: fear) in the so The Regulations of the SRC relating to elections are available on-line certain: independence or war. As 2010 marked a year of many kinds sown in different fields called ‘underclass’ because various tactics (b) The election of the President of the 84th SRC that’s simply not true. at www.src.usyd.edu.au or from the SRC Front Office before the referendum, international attention started yield this harvest: the ubiquitous have been taken from them. Is this really Secondly, I’m astonished at the number (c) The election of the Editor(s) of Honi Soit for the 84th SRC (level 1, Wentworth Building). to switch back to the South and serious concerns of a human love of breaking things, the society you want? Outright fear and of hereditary lords in Britain who have greed, desperation, sadism, racism, control, without even what Edmund (d) The election of National Union of Students delegates for return to war were raised by advocates around the world. attributed the riots to a culture of getting a boiling desire for revenge at how Burke called “All the pleasing illusions, the 84th SRC (7 positions) Authorised by Stephen Lesslie, SRC Electoral Officer 2011. Thankfully enough international pressure created an something for nothing. If having cash, they have been treated, half-baked which made power gentle, and obedience Students’ Representative Council, The University of Sydney atmosphere where the Sudanese regime was not willing merely by virtue of being alive, creates rationalisations (like the woman liberal”, let alone actual justice and Phone: 02 9660 5222 | www.src.usyd.edu.au to risk a return to war and accepted the inevitability of riotous criminality, then I would suggest who said she was “getting back her freedom. Britain is looking at entirely the wrong taxes”), sophisticated ideas like class 7

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How to Make Thermite Make to How Johnny Soit presents presents Soit Soit Johnny Johnny SKILL O’ THE WEEK THE O’ SKILL Are you in the middle of a horrible break up and/or violent civil war? Well Well civil war? violent up and/or a horrible break in the middle of you Are high is an intensely Thermite looking for. you’re be what just may thermite or tank amoured an melting through of capable incendiary powder temperature dent a sizable to make block with enough gusto car engine whore’s cheating that make! to easy incredibly of all, it’s it. And best underneath in the concrete converting rapidly reaction, redox a considered can be reaction The thermite aluminium stable thermodynamically the much more to aluminium powder your choice of filing down by be sourced best can powder Aluminium oxide. thermite make to pegs. Then such as old tent aluminium products lightweight rust. iron and powdered mix equal parts aluminium powder need to just you Done and done! most difficult part so the energy, has a particularly high activation This reaction to do way The best thermite. to light required the heat is getting of this exercise strip as a wick, but since magnesium old magnesium a trusty lighting this is by lithium, extracted a pinch with pure in be replaced it can by, come to hard be can of ignition Another fun method of unused lithium batteries. the core from local in your (both available and glycerol permanganate mix potassium is to top of the two on the mix reaction, so just This is a self igniting pharmacist). skillz! glory of your back, and bask in the intense well stand thermite, Killing a man with your bare hands bare Killing a man with your kind of claim to everyday isn’t your I Have of Never but in a game fame, take to have would Nancy Wake Ever, 200km one. Cycling that for a swig another was contact radio reach to this type of grit thing she did. It was which this war and chutzpah for Nancy Wake renowned. was veteran 2011, but her died on the 7th August, to is something 2 legacy War World behold. and brought Zealand Born in New as a trained Wake up in Sydney, as in London and worked journalist in Paris. correspondent a European a key become on to went Wake and Resistance, in the French figure the Gestapo in escaping her prowess earned her the nickname ‘The White Wake caught. never She was Mouse’. the mountains into dropped was weapons distribute to of France of the Resistance, members to when all jeopardised but this was were devices communication radio So, in a German raid. destroyed LIFE CRITIC: NANCY WAKE LIFE CRITIC: NANCY NANCY LEE gives props to her namesake. LEE gives NANCY lectoral he e lection Regulation consider that the stated stated the that consider Regulation lection Postcode: For more informationFor more contact Authorised by Stephen Lesslie, SRC Electoral Officer 2011. Stephen Lesslie, Electoral Officer 02 9660 5222 Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney Phone: 02 9660 5222 www.src.usyd.edu.au Students’ Representative fficer must under section 20(a) of the e I require a copy of the election edition of Honi Soit: YES / NO I require State: o Signature: Please send voting papers to the following address: (please be specific. Vague or facetious reasons will not be accepted. t Vague or facetious (please be specific. justifies the issuing of a postal vote.) reason Application FormApplication VOTING POSTAL unable to elections but are If you wish to vote in the 2011 SRC 22nd 21st or Thursday vote EITHER on polling days Wednesday locations, OR on pre-polling September at any of the advertised you may apply then 20th September, day (on main campus) Tuesday for a postal vote. Fill in this form and send it to: Electoral Officer Council Sydney University Students’ Representative MUST BE RECEIVED AND Please note: postal vote applications NSW 2007. PO Box 794, Broadway of August at 4.30pm or they will IN OUR PO BOX by Friday 26th No exceptions. not be considered. a photocopy of this form. may use You Name of applicant: Number: Student Card Faculty/Year: Phone Number: ( ) Email: Mobile: postal vote for the 2010 SRC elections. I declare apply for a I hereby that I am unable to attend a polling booth on any of the polling days, for the following reason: days, OR on any of the pre-polling Postal Voting Postal SRC Elections 2011 Elections SRC Students’ Representative Council, The University of Sydney of Sydney University The Council, Representative Students’

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Stealing a car: getting that 200SX you’ve understanding andknowledge. an openmind, sit,talk but,most ofall,listen. Listening isthequickest way to build One thingwe tell ourmentors – andeven ourselves –isto go into asituation with tender issues? advice doyougiveto thosewhosimplymaynotknow how to approachthese This programhashadagreat impactonboththementors andmentees. What moment; amoment where you realise someonecan finallyseetheirpotential. strength andwillingness to take on thechallenges hefaces. Itwas areally powerful in hispersonal life, stood upinasession andspoke abouthisAboriginality, pride, One moment that stands outiswhenayear 10student, whowas having trouble What moments havestood out to youthatdemonstrate AIMEisworking? not aslidinggrade corresponding to thedarknessofyour skin. some heavy oppositionfrom peoplewho cannot understand that is ‘Aboriginality’ they don’twant to have to prove you can it.Asa‘lightbefaced skinbrother’ with Indigenous Australians may notopenlyacknowledge their‘Aboriginality’ because look oractlike ‘theimage’ they have intheirhead,they don’trealise. Also, many honest, peopleprobably doknow Indigenous Australians but,because they donot Every year group hasaboutthesame response—visn’tit?To mindblowing, be is? knew anIndigenousAustralian. About4handspoppedup.Why doyouthinkthis In mentor training,youasked aroomfullof300Sydney Universitystudents ifthey and can betoo scared to come andyarn andfindoutwhat isactuallytrue. Indigenous Australians. People have somany assumptions abouttheIndigenous, The mainchallenge isthelevel of nervousness peopleseemto have around What havebeensomechallengesfaced duringthedevelopment ofthisprogram? occur. we want to beinaposition where AIMEisnolonger neededinorder for this to onto university at thesamerate asallourotherAustralian kids.Inthelongterm In theshortterm AIMEisfocused ongetting Indigenous kidsthrough year12and What areAIME’s goals? know how muchthey get written off. I want tohelpthemfindtheir voice. As anAboriginalmanandhaving grown uponthe same streets asthesekids,I What wereyourpersonalreasonsbehindbecoming apartofAIME? progressive andrelevant. gained partnership with10universities Australia-wide, makingadifference that is mentee relationship. Sincetheprogram’s humblebeginning in2005,ithas aligns Indigenous highschoolkidswithuniversity students to buildamentor- that was founded by Sydney University graduate, JackBancroft. Theprogram it stands for Australian Indigenous Mentoring Experienceandit’s anorganisation understanding andknowledge. an openmind, sit,talk but,most ofall,listen. Listening isthequickest way to build One thingwe tell ourmentors – andeven ourselves –isto go into asituation with of humanrights.of humanrights. people andinformation, andthedefence international markets, thefree flow of increasingly globalisedsociety, theopening the most outspoken andcommitted to an yet, moderndemocratic states are also democratic onesbeingno exception. And maintained border security, withmodern ‘pragmatists’ isthat states have always this behaviour, laudedby so-called The obvious political excuse for here. with thenumberofrefugees whocome rates itwould take 20years to filltheMCG rate ofimmigration isabsurd: at current of Australia isthreatened by ourcurrent The notionthat thelivelihood andculture bigots use to reinforce theirprejudices. that over-opinionated, under-informed boats’ or‘queue jumpers’ are just slogans mandatory detention policy. ‘Stop the up indetention, inlinewithAustralia’s only peoplewhocome by boat are locked matter how theapplicant arrives. And yet, law itislegal to applyfor refugee status no ‘illegitimate’. However, underAustralian hasbecomeThe word asynonym ‘boat’ for and ingroup/outgroup antagonism. opposition of ‘desirables andundesirables’ legal obligations toward them) to thecrude asylum seekers we can handle(andour reasonable many discussionsofhow Discourse onthissubjecthasshifted from we –asacommunity –define ourselves. I meanithasbecome anissueby which a heavily politicisedissue. By ‘politicised’ The treatment ofrefugees inAustralia is Is Australia becoming agated community? LET THEMIN,PLEASE. You’ve spotted thehoodiesbutwhat isallthisAIMEruckus about? Well, You’ve spotted thehoodiesbutwhat isallthisAIMEruckus about? Well, Manager. at BenBowen, thecharity’s Sydney Project SAMANTHA RUSSO takes aimandfires away for theyear. For acountry that’s allabout people; lessthan0.14%oftheUNestimate Australia’s refugee intake was just 13,770 had more thanhalfamillion.In2009–2010, The UKhadover 250,000in2010;Germany Western countries perheadofpopulation. taking far fewer refugees thanother member oftheinternational community, Australia doesn’tdoitsbitasaresponsible those boats are coming from. increase humanitarian aidto thenations and Iran). Ifthat’s ourgoal, thenwe should (most notably SriLanka, Iraq, Afghanistan countries Australia receives refugees from political, religious, sexual andsocialinthe the injustice, conflict, andpersecution: to stop the boats, you would have to stop the boats’ -it’s afacile expression. Inorder commitments. For example, you can’t ‘stop drastically re-thinking ourpolitical andmoral humanitarian crisis.We needto start workable solution to aninternational no-man’s landsinthebattle to finda Refugee camps have become thesestrange practise. rights whilst declaringthemunworkable in cruel. Eitherthat, oritacknowledges those it’s andperversely uncivilised,unnecessary their own napkinandsilverware. That is: only to askthemwhy they didn’tbring to inviting ahomelessperson in for dinner, denying themaneducation isanalogous children (many ofthemorphans)while as therights ofthechild.Agreeing to house Human Rights inasylum seeker camps, such and reputation regarding itsobservance of important. Australia hasanabysmal record The question ofHumanRights isparticularly has never beenwhether ornotwe want history ofAustralian immigration policy I’m aconservative inso far asIthinkthe it butI’m aconservative onthisissue. What’s thesolution? Well, Ihate to say short, thebuckstops withus. about theissuewithfriendsinapub.In Twitter and Facebook, andhow we talk and time to, how we comment on party we vote for, whowe give charity a democracy that isaquestion ofwhich humanitarian stance init’s policies?In feel somuchpressure notto take a survive, sowhy doesthegovernment we’rebeing, already paying to helpthem and money to lookafter them.Thepoint and Australian families whodonate time people surviveonlybecause ofcharities either food oraccommodation. These or volunteer theirlaborinexchange for welfare, sendtheirchildren to school, status, are notallowed to work, receive in Sydney who, because oftheirlegal There are at least 70families living how we treat themashumanbeings. refugees we take though–it’s about It’s notjust aboutthequantity of similarly wealthy nations. to stay onparwiththecommitments of be more flexible, and even alittlehigher that intake numbers to Australia could are more equalthanothers. I’m saying fair-dinkum equality, itseemsthat some Twitter allows WWR to go after aglobalaudience - cool tochat with folks everywhere! I findthis gratifying!very Does WWR’s reporting transcend borders? Perhaps -many followers around the world; you thinkTwitter allows WWR nationalism? to defy As anAustralian, the insight provided by WWRinto the White Houseisunparalleled.Do customers around theworld. For one guydoingthisalone, itwas great to get anaward. Great to have somany awarded theShortyAwardfor Best JournalismonTwitter. It must be ajoy to see youridea grow thewayithas?Particularly having just been customers andto exploit any competitive advantage I can I’ll leave that to others to decide.Mygoals are to focus ontheproduct, serve my Do youfeel WWRhasstarted makinginroadschangingthe face ofjournalism? things eachday from THEM. Also, ifyou interact withpeople eachday, to, as Itry are they really “followers?” Ilearn work hard each day to keep themonmy “channel.” Twitter calls them“followers,” butjust asaTVviewer can change thechannel, Ihave to other places.Ihave to work eachday to keep them I call themcustomers because Iknow that peopleare busy &can get info from many Do youconsider yourfollowers customers orare thesetwoseparate entities? when peopleare very busy andneed info quickly Twitter forces people to get to the point and keep thingssimple. helpfulVery today Quicker thanTV, all-news radio, newspapers. Started onTwitter two years ago. impressedVery withitsimmediacy&directness. When/How didyoudecide to engagewithsocialmedia? So, obviously the immediate andsimpleconnection of Twitter hasgreatly helped this. demystify its “aura” and explain thingsquickly/simply. The goal isto bringyou to theWhite House -andthe White House to you. to Itry What doyousee asthe mantra ormaximofWest WingReport, yourgoalfor the firm? career: Wall Street. Left allthat behind to start my own mediafirm. @WestWingReport: Ispent many years at bigU.S. television networks, thenadifferent @Honi_Soit: So, asaprimer, can youtell me how West WingReport started? 140-characters at atime. with @WestWingReport to swap hashtags and discuss this medium, andgetthe theinside scoop ontwitter journalism@Honi_Soithooked up changing face of media which recently won the ShortyAward for Best JournalismonTwitter. To test out founder of@WestWingReport, aTwitter feed inside the White House press room At theforefront ofthispushfor good journalisminsocialmedia stands Paul Brandus, the ABC’s Twitter Q&A, haschanged the way the general public gets their information. those duringthe MiddleEastern Riotsto interactivity evidenced inprograms suchas Simply put, Twitter has revolutionised news. From large scale movementsas such @WestWingReport of themost divisive issuesofourtime. DAVID ALLINSONopensthegates onone tweets w/JAMES COLLEY community must come down. making Australia behave like agated political andphysical walls currently North Queensland.Thepsychological, of aridiculousgate cluttering up far commit ourselves just yet to theidea inclusive anddemocratic. Let’s not I love isunpretentious, socially of thosewords because theAustralia Australia great are exact antonyms and elitist. Thethingsthat make community: pretentious, exclusive making Australia behave like agated barriers to keep peopleoutis The erection oflegal andphysical and what ismorally laudable. This isbothinournational interest, come from, they deserve ourrespect. because irrespective ofwhere they as ourpolitical andmoral equals needs to change to consider refugees implications oftheissue.Ourthinking not just aboutthepractical orlegal were established to protect. Butit’s continue to fail the peopletheyvery Rights are tied to state power they will law adopts them.SolongasHuman they’re meaninglessunlessnational what they’re supposedto because their current state) just aren’t doing them. Furthermore, HumanRights (in always beenaboutwhere we put more peopleinthiscountry –it’s

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Associate Professor and Director of the Centre for Peace Studies, Sydney Uni Jake Lynch by MICHAEL KOZIOL

Perhaps Jake Lynch was fated to pursue peace journalism. After all, it was in the year of his birth, 1965, that the father of the discipline, Johan Galtung, wrote his seminal work with Mari Holmboe Ruge, The Structure of Foreign News. He has an instinctive feel, too, for the way in which conflicts should be approached by journalists; not as merely wars or battles, good guys versus bad guys, but as complex problems with alternative solutions. The bread and butter of peace journalism, he attests, is to get audiences to consider the value of non-violent responses to such disputes. Lynch was educated in the UK, obtaining a Diploma in Journalism from Cardiff University in 1989 and later a PhD from the City University of London. He undertook his traineeship at the BBC, which he describes as a wonderful introduction to the industry, being large and diverse enough to offer boundless opportunities for those willing to take them.

PROFILE Lynch began seeking out stories from afflicted corners of the globe and offering to report. In the late 1990s, with questions being raised about the role of media in Tony Blair’s New Labour administration, he met Galtung and became heavily involved in the advocacy of peace journalism. He began to run workshops for media practitioners and NGOs, as well as lecturing globally. In 2006 he was appointed Associate Professor and Director of the Centre for Peace and Conflict Studies at the University of Sydney. Lynch sees his transition to academia as natural and perhaps inevitable, though he remains a practising journo, and talks like one too. He is able to empathetically articulate the trials and tribulations of being a cub at the coalface, but he is strict on the responsibilities of a good correspondent. “What I must do, I believe, is to think critically about how I came to be in this place to do my journalism. How I came to meet these facts. How these facts came to meet me. And I must be aware that if I keep going to the same kinds of places, important bits of the story might be missed out. It’s my duty to find ways to put them back in again. That’s the difference between peace journalism and what I would call mainstream war journalism.” Asked about Australia’s coverage of conflict in international news, Lynch is ambivalent. He raises Dateline and SBS’ World News as examples of quality reporting, but points out that they use a lot of overseas content. In particular he references the tendency of many BBC journalists to stress the illegality of Israel’s occupation of Palestine, or the construction of Israeli settlements. That compares to a rather pervasive reluctance within mainstream Australian media, including the ABC, to do the same. Lynch also sees a much greater role for the academy in challenging accepted views and offending the powers-that-be. “My very strong view is that academia needs to be much more helpful to social movement activism than it generally is - particularly in a place like Australia at the present time.” He refers chiefly to advocating the rights of refugees, but it could just as easily be applied to debates about the current civil unrest in England. “That violence is being represented as the work of a kind of evil criminals - therefore to deal with this problem, you need to find them and lock them up. Is it a riot, or is it an uprising? The terminology depends on your perspective. What we need…is to identify the more far-reaching changes and reforms that would be necessary to stop such a thing happening again.” Any discussion among pacifists must come to assess America’s sizeable role in global conflict. Unsurprisingly, Lynch does not see the world’s hyperpower as a force for good. “We are presented every so often with explanations of why America needs to go to war,” he says. “It had to invade Vietnam to prevent the countries of South East Asia from falling like dominoes to communism. It had to invade Iraq to prevent these weapons of mass destruction. It had to invade Afghanistan to forestall the threat from international terrorism. My argument is that we could turn the telescope round the other way and say the common factor in all this is American war-making, and the internal dynamics of having an enormous military-industrial complex – more military spending than the rest of the world put together. And that’s the explanation for these wars. And in that sense, having a new man in the White House may be beside the point.” Six months in to the presidency of Barack Obama, Lynch published an op-ed in The Sydney Morning Herald, expressing his cynicism that Obama would change America’s aggressive foreign policy direction. Two years later, he believes events have subscribed to that prediction. “[Bob Woodward’s book, Obama’s Wars] gave an interesting account of the internal conflict between the White House and the Pentagon. One manifestation of it is that Obama is pressing for a timetabled- based withdrawal of troops from Afghanistan, while the Pentagon is pressing for a criteria-based withdrawal. In our corner of the globe, an active arms race is underway. America is spending billions upgrading its military facilities on Guam. It’s handing over billions of dollars of military hardware to Taiwan. It’s got its hands on large amounts of Australian money to buy F-35 fighter jets which John Faulkner told the Australian Senate were purposed to help Australia join in future Coalition operations. In other words: not to defend Australia but to join in American-led military ventures elsewhere.” Ideally, Lynch argues, a multilateral world would be better placed to deal with conflict without resorting to arms. “It’s partly because the atmosphere has been poisoned by the impression that America and allied countries use these crises to justify military adventures which are chiefly for strategic purposes. And they’re therefore interpreted as a play for world domination. I think it would more possible to approach problems Andrew Naylor by LAURENCE ROSIER STAINES Chair oftheHumanRights CouncilofAustralia, barrister &baddiebattler asylum seekers enter Australian waters, we nevertheless seemto wash ourhandsofthemandsendto aplace Ever diplomatic and even-handed, at thispoint Naylor gets theclosest to soundingsomewhat frustrated.“When nevertheless putstheir rights at risk, particularlywithMalaysia notbeing asignatory to the [1951 Refugee] Convention.” situations from whichthey are butthequestion is fleeing, whether ornot we cansanctionan agreement that rights violated,” Naylor tells me.“Admittedly it’s notquite thesameasputtingthemback into thesame to ensure that asylum seekers aren’t thrown into situations where they’re placed at riskofhaving their ‘Malaysia Solution’ for asylum seekers. “Theprimary concernhas tobe Naylor boilsdown thesituation. Of course, there are many suchhotpotatoes around at themoment, notleast ofwhichistheso-called domestic Thedecision, says publicservice. Naylor, was littlemore than “apolitical hot potato” that the HRCA condemned. ignored thisadvice,resolving to keep thechecks andbalancesofinternational humanrights away from Committee suggested that theAustralian government enactanational billofrights butthe government the government’s failure to follow therecommendations oftheBrennan Report.” In2010,theBrennan in thepipelineisto dowithhealth,butNaylor demurs whenIpursue details. “Itisafollow-on from profit, non-government organisation withan agenda solely focusedonhumanrights. One project currently Not muchhaschanged conceptually orlogistically sincethosedays—the HRCA is still aprivate, not-for- Human Rights Commissionerfor Australia—with whomhe previously worked at the Australian Law Reform Commission. where we cannot guarantee theirrights inany way. Thedifficultyiswithsimplistic messages fromthepolitical side.In the European the influx of setting, asylumseekers fromplaces like Libya to Italy, Spain,Gibraltar andsoon exemplifies how massive andcomplex therefugee problem is.” the preservation ofhumanrights.” Hisinvitation came from friendand colleagueChrisSidoti—later the As ever, though,thetrueimportofsituation gets lost amidthesound-bite-sized “The concernI politicalhave rhetoric. isthat political talk aboutpeopletrying to enter the country ‘by thequeue’—asifthere was suchathing—oversimplifies the complexity of theproblem. People have aright to seekasylum whenfleeinga country where theirrights are at risk.Itisabsurd to think that they aren’t asentitled to seekasylum as we are, to ‘jointhequeue’, asit were …thissimplistic rhetoric isthe cause of agreat dealofmisunderstanding inthecommunity.” Thetake-home message, Isuppose,would beto notlisten “at whichtimeit was just asmallgroup oflike-minded peoplewho were interested inensuring to talk radio (except asananthropological exercise) andto take every political statement onthematter—whether monosyllabic orobfuscatory—with agrain ofsalt. Throughout allthisIremain quietly impressed that theHRCA iseven athinginthiswork-a-day-world, seeing as ithaszero funding.“Whatever activities we cando are doneona voluntary basis,” Naylor explains. “We have agreat dealofdifficultyinmustering the resources toachieve toomuch…the website, too, is very Naylor speaks slowly anddeliberately. Hebecame involved intheHRCA inthemid1990s, Amen, MrNaylor. out ofdate, andit’s hard to findthetime toupdate it.” But how doeshe even findtime tochairit work where we can inthecommunity setting.” barrister to make alotofmoney,” helaughs.“Ithinkwe owe itto oneanotherto give something back,to dowork onavoluntary basis.Icertainly didn’tbecome a with hisday job? had afairly strong resolve that community work isimportant –it’s important to done somefor theAustralian HumanRights Commission.ButIguessI’ve always some humanrights work inmy practice, Idoquite abitof work for Legal Aidandhave “It’s difficult, youknow? But youdofindtime. You carve outtime for council work.Ido Australia, hecontinues to practice law asabarrister. of law.” Yes, inaddition to beingtheChairofHumanRights Councilof are somebreach ofprivacy issues,andsomecomplex andnovel questions a fellow whowas detained viathe2007Mental HealthAct,” hesays. “There appointments. “Today I’m givingadvicefor theLegalabout AidCommission, for 15minutes onaThursday afternoon inbetween other Andrew Naylor isabusy man.Icatch him

profile X N THIS IS YOUR UNIVERSITY MICHAEL RICHARDSON might write this sitting down, but won’t take this sitting down.

Blah blah blah, the Union’s dying. It’s a common how to fit out the insides. Meanwhile, two of my refrain. You’ll read it in this paper most weeks, friends are starting up a society about ukuleles, and you’ll read it in The Bull’s careful skirting of and other people in the Union are going to see anything pertaining to it every three weeks. It’s this and join it because they like ukuleles too, repeated so much it has probably lost all meaning and if it remains popular it could very well outlast to you, if it ever held any. So why do people – their own degrees. Honi included – continue to say it? Because we, It’s faintly ridiculous that this is allowed to as students, editors, and citizens would like it to happen. survive as it is now so very fucking much. ‘Get involved!’ – This pointless appeal irritates “But what does it do? And why should I care?” me. It’s a gross oversimplification of the vast These questions are eternal, and perhaps the potential the Union has to realise and create quintessential Union questions. And, to be things you think should happen. perfectly honest, a year ago I would have been unable to answer them. Nevertheless I need to We have it good at university, and it’s almost talk about what it is and does before I talk about solely due to the Union. But the University has what might happen. If you already know the been trying to take away the Union’s commercial answers, why not skip a few paragraphs until one services. It might still do. The Board Directors of them grabs your attention? Otherwise, let’s may yet negotiate a solution, but that doesn’t begin. change the fact that the Union is facing its direst straits ever. One of the problems that has people unsure of the role of the Union is that it is couched Stewart Lee once reminisced, in an interview, in language like this: ‘Hi kids! Welcome to the about watching Margaret Thatcher talk to a feature University of Sydney Union! Here at the Union we student at Cambridge in the ‘80s. She said, “What have over X amount of clubs and societies! We’re do you study?” and the student said, “Norse the best student experience in Australia! Get Literature,” and Thatcher said, “Oh – what a involved!’ It feels like corporate marketing from privilege.” It was a throwaway comment, said a child. It’s like a childhood friend dressing up in Lee, but was typical of a conservative and anti- his dad’s business suit, and the pants are too long intellectual undercurrent throughout first-world and the sleeves hang loose. politics all throughout the latter half of the 20th century (and our shiny new 21st) – and I say he’s Another problem is the general consensus that right to think it. He said (and I’m paraphrasing), an ACCESS card looks like an unwise investment, they wanted to cripple university funding and as the $100 membership hardly seems worth the produce a generation that is technically capable 15% discount on Union purchases and services. but spiritually unmotivated and mentally un- This one is closer to the root of it all, but seems invigorated. He’s right – we’ve grown up being to me a case of refusing to see the forest for the drilled on how to use Word, but I’ll be damned if trees. anyone’s ever spend even a modicum of time on The Grand, Central Problem is a misperception of how or just why we should write. what the Union, and student unionism in general, does. A good way to think about the Union is as an effectuator (borrowing a word from Jack Vance, so please bear with me). It makes things happen. In isolation, it’s a bunch of mechanisms THE FACTS that shift goods and procure services with 17 December 2010 complete prejudice in your favour as a student and member. Deputy Vice-Chancellor Professor Derrick Armstrong submits a notice for the termination of the Provision of Take me, for example (luckily I’m close to hand, Services agreement so that the USU and Uni can take a eh?). Today I bought lunch from the Union-run “blank sheet” approach to discussions. January 1, 2012 bar, drank a Union-poured Coke, rehearsed for a set as time for new agreement. Union-produced show in a room provided by the ACCESS Cards Union.The Union also provided me with a grant to The Union’s major independent source of income. fund a magazine full of stories by students, which Taking outlets from the USU’s control would leave will have a monetary return of approximately ACCESS discounts in a doubtful state as non-USU zero dollars, and it’s going to be released at the outlets are free to decide their level of discount, down Union-convened Verge Festival, attended by to none at all. Union members. During the Verge Festival ten 2012 shipping containers will be plonked along Eastern Mayan Calendar? Doomsday. Union Calendar? The Avenue and artists will be given free reign on USU’s 2010-2012 financial plan is to break even by 2012. Operating results have been improving year-to- year, as you can see with the results from… 2010 12 …which had the USU recording its first operating profit THIS ISYOURUNIVERSITY attended by you. Number ofclubs andsocieties run by theUnion and 200+ creative groups. various publications from writers, collectives and in theWorld Ultimate FrisbeeChampionships and the VinniesSociety Winter Sleepout,trips to compete International Comedy Festival, artSCA, exhibitions at helped fundunicomedians’ trips to theMelbourne Kickstart grants are upto $1000eachandhave Kickwhat? campus-enrichment opportunities.” kickstart grants, whichfund“personal development or Amount ofmoney given by theUSUin2010through Approximately $41000 vote for USUBoard, Board votes for President. along withone(count ‘em, one)president. Students Number ofstudents ontheUSUboard at any onetime, 10 Students in 2006. since theintroduction of Voluntary Student Unionism participate insomething beyond money. I thinkthat contributing to theUnionis to that placeishere? cynicism andlookingat thebottom line,surely can bucksociety’s trends towards avariciousness, institutions? Imean,surely ifthere isaplacethat Why are theseinstitutions behaving like, well, it doesn’tirkmemore, andalso‘irk’irks me. secret either. Butthisirks me,anditirks methat more andmore like abusinessevery day –no that’s nosecret. Andtheuniversity’s operating by students instead ofastudent collective – or abusinessthat just happens to begoverned revamping itselffor years to behave asabrand, We’re intheendgame. TheUnion’s been capital that comes from us. Union’s aflashinthepanofindependenceand very closeto thebottom ofthe food chain.The is beingappliedhere to theUnion. Students are lit, to tell herthat shewas luckyto bedoingit, have possiblyfelt meeting a student ofNorse else. Andthesameimpulsethat Thatcher may real andphysical way –you can’t study anything understood by studying thepast, but–inavery improvement. It’s aclichéto say thefuture is me, synonymous withself-discovery andself- University isaplaceto learn–andthat is,to – lazilyandwithoutgenuine introspection. boogeyman from 1984 would want you to behave It’s insipidandit’s how somehypothetical terrified of effort andofbeingseen to care. of your average student thesedays isitsproduct, awkwardness-worshipping partofthepersonality and again. Inalotofways, theirony-soaked, it doeslaps, andloop-de-loops every now doesn’t just runfrom thebottom to the top, This anti-education sentimentpervasive. is It that fuckingboulderover themountain. show Sisyphus how we get thingsdoneandhurl Here iswhere we make ourstand, ornowhere; new world butonceit’s gone, it’s gone for good. the ability. TheUnionisafoothold into astrange can’t just reboot it.We wouldn’t have thewillor is like falling offacliff. IftheUniondissolves, we There’s noway back,you see.Every losswe take Write Spencealetter. Hugaboard member. you can. you. It’s there for you, andyours to sculpt asbest or should.It’s you that thisisallabout.You, you, tell themwhat theUnionmeansto you. Orcould, Tell them–I’m speakingto you thereader here – ground. the Unioncan be.Don’tfight ontheirhome bureaucracy oftheunbridledopportunitythat as they are, we needto remind hisechelonsof better than we do.If we’re going to keep things Spence knows allthis.Heprobably knows it up? But whentheuniversity gets bigeyes, we give it exists asitdoes. particular confluence ofcircumstances that it economically feasible, andit’s onlydueto a like abusinessman.TheUnionshouldn’tbe to abusinessman,you’re going to get shafted dialogue, you lose. You talk like abusinessman rather, we shouldn’t.Theminute you openthat We can’t argue withthemonfinancial terms. Or sources ofrevenue you want…) from ‘Spence&Coates’ –Imean,ifit’s new is abadidea.(Incidentally I would buyajacket be opento the idea,andrealise why thetakeover Union means(orshouldmean)to us,they must of course. Ifthey donotunderstand what the ‘they were young once’butthey were students, especially want itto happen.Idon’twant to say so here we are. Butyou know, Ibet they don’t butit’sunions dotheirthing, allabitgrimnow do this.Inthepast, they’ve beenfine to let the to runtheuniversity andit’s logical for themto devil, so stop saying so.It’s theirresponsibility straight –it’s theirjob.Neitherofthemare the the university’s takeover, andlet’s get something Spence andCoates are theonesspearheading N 13 feature P s ne ARTS u T REVUE SCIENCE COMMERCEQUEER ARCHITECTURE The REVIEWMED L AW

ENGINEERING EDUCATION AND SOCIAL WORK MED REVUE: BEAUTY AND DECEASED ROBIN BLAND saw every first year med student naked. CONOR BATEMAN saw it all jiggle. Med Revue 2011: Beauty and Deceased was a mixed bag, with dizzying heights The Med Revue for 2011 was a very mixed bag of skits, songs and dancing. and nauseating lows. That ‘nauseating’ isn’t hyperbole, by the way, but Mixed in that it had some very high points and some very low points. Clocking I’ll get to that later. in at just under three hours, there was no way that the high points were going More than any revue I’ve seen, Beauty and Deceased was very plot driven. It to be sustained for any long period of time. In terms of the highs, the band focused on a zombie-themed retelling of its namesake, complete with a necrophilic for the show was amazing, with the large number of musical numbers proving Belle, rotting Beast and sexually enthusiastic Gaston. Whilst there was nothing extremely enjoyable. especially wrong with these segments, they did tend to drag on too long, or simply rely on very basic rehashes of musical numbers from Disney’s Beauty and the The ‘Fuck You’ parody was hugely entertaining, as was the rap by fed up lecturers. Beast. That said, it did have its highlights, such as the energetic opening ‘Be Our A lot of recognition too must go to the choreographers, who were able to craft Test’, focusing on a cabal of unscrupulous dermatologists, and a truly spectacular some great dance numbers, most notably a zombie-ized ‘Smooth Criminal’ and for zombie-awakening/attack dance number done to a chilling instrumental rendition being the best thing about the completely random finale. On an individual level, it of ‘Smooth Criminal’, aided in no small part by a team of wonderfully talented seems that Richard Arnold, as assistant director, part of the writing/creative team acrobats and dancers. and acting as Maurice in perhaps the best performance in the entire revue (bar Other highlights of the show included a fun rendition of the ‘Cell Block Tango’ Tarun Patel’s Gaston), deserves major kudos for his efforts. — adapted for hospitals — which was sung beautifully and supported by some great choreography. Notable mention goes to a sketch revolving around practical Despite these elements, the show did lose a lot of steam going into Act II. treatments for patients, such as a charge of static electricity to revive them, or Occasional nudity, a nice ‘Eye of the Tiger’ rendition and the first neckbomb strippers to get their heart a-thuddin’. joke of the 2011 revue season couldn’t quite make up for the abundance of underwhelming and seemingly irrelevant scenes, particularly a totally unnecessary Unfortunately, when this show tanked, it tanked hard. Lines such as “And at rendition of ‘Cell Block Tango’. A major problem seemed to be the inability to midnight, the miscarriage turned into a pumpkin!” prompted the aforementioned nausea, and songs like “The Necrosis of the Night”(about zombie masturbation, balance the Beauty and the Beast storyline with all of these random skits and dontcha know?) only highlighted the overbearing obsession with dicks that seemed songs, with the storyline not at all strong enough to hold up the show and a lot to be the theme of the night. Admittedly, this was kind of justified in the obligatory of these skits not worth the time that they were given onstage. The show needed nude sketch, which featured some nausea-averting choreography. to be shorter and better refined to really highlight some of the better elements of this revue. Overall, I suppose the best way to describe this show would be as a slightly-too-long parade of dick jokes and puns, peppered with some fantastically entertaining and well-rehearsed sketches and dances. THE TUNES INTERVIEW: REGURGITATOR SHANNON CONNELLAN throws up and throws back to the 90s. So, Regurgitator huh? Remember them? If you don’t, I’ll take five while you YouTube The opening lyric? “We’re all gonna die.” Yay! SUPER! HAPPY! FUNTIMES! Each eclectic ‘Polyester Girl’, ‘Black Bugs’ or ‘Happiness’. Huh? Yeah! Those guys! Alright, now search track waits its turn patiently, ready to pounce with the energetic earnestness and around for The Cruel Sea, Happyland and Spiderbait’s ‘Calypso’ and we’ve got ourselves a love for more and more cowbell the band has fronted since the 90s. SHFTF continues 90s throwback shindig. Regurgitator’s tendency toward a staggering sound, eclectic genre fusion and tongue- in-cheek lyrics. Over the past 15 years, Regurgitator have delivered such tastefully titled Bet you didn’t know Aussie electro-rock legends Regurgitator have released no less than tunes as ‘I Wanna Be A Nudist’, ‘Bong In My Eye’, ‘Blood and Spunk’ and ‘I Sucked a Lot of 23 singles and 7 studio albums over 15 years. They write, produce and direct their own Cock to Get Where I Am’. In an adorable change of tradition, winning tracks on the new CGI music videos. The bass player occasionally sketches. album include the whimsical acoustic jaunt and quasi-title track ‘Super Happy Funtime’. This folk-inspired tune combines campfire-worthy gee-tar and casio harpsichord Brisbane trio Regurgitator helped to define the sound of late 90s/early 2000s rock (YES!) with lyrics full of references to dolphins, magic rainbows, distant planets and a electronica in Australia. Regurgitator’s iconic album Unit released in 1997 went platinum particularly Mum-like alien. Another tune to hit rewind own is the Ramones-esque ode three times in Australia, nabbed 5 ARIA Awards (including Best Album) and came in at to ye mother, ‘Punk Mum’; a soapbox rant about an over-conservative mama, complete #10 in this year’s Triple J Hottest 100 Australian Albums Of All Time. Yeah, they’s a big with a drum line akin to Bow Wow Wow’s ‘I Want Candy’. deal yo. Unit includes “Oh I do know this song!” classics such as ‘Polyester Girl’, ‘! (The Song Formerly Known As)’ and ‘Black Bugs’. With brand new album, Super Happy Fun Bassist Ely has been plucking from the start, along with lead singer and guitarist Quan Times Friends just hitting shelves this month, Regurgitator bassist Ben Elys admits it can Yeomans. They formed the group in 1994 with former drummer Martin Lee when the be hard to ask audiences to move on from 90s nostalgia and give the new Regurgitator three Brisbane upstarts met on a public bus. Regurgitator, now drumming with sticks sound a chance. man Peter Kostic have seen their fair share of zany touring moments, including watching the sun come up with Midnight Oil at the Anti-Jabiluka Uranium mining protest in Kakadu “A lot of people have kind of given up on us post-Unit. They just kind of really hold National Park. “We have had some bizarre experiences,” says Ely. “I mean one tour we onto those albums quite dearly,” he says. “When Unit got into the Triple J Hottest 100 did in Japan we were doing these interviews with this Japanese rock magazine. They I thought, ‘wow, I haven’t even heard that record for a while.’ I listened to it, and I kind asked us to come and play on their Japanese disco club tour and all the kids that came to of thought uh, it doesn’t sound that... great,” Elys laughs. The bassist is startlingly honest the venue would all dress in identical uniforms and do synchronised dances to the songs. about the fate of the group’s new album. “The production on our new record is much That was pretty mind-blowing.” better than [Unit], but I’m thinking not many people will hear our new record…um, well maybe they will. Not as many as Unit.” After shaking the walls at our own watering hole Manning Bar on Saturday night, Regurgitator fans raised their glasses to these legends of Aussie electro-rock. The Regurgi-haters should tune in, listen up and shove it. This is the seventh studio release for Polyester Boys aren’t ready to hang up their axes just yet, with many super happy fun the trio, Super Happy Fun Times Friends is just as deliciously bizarre as the title suggests: times still very on the agenda. 14 a peculiar patchwork of short, fast, genre-spanning tunes delivered with an ironic smile. AN INTERVIEW WITH STEFAN POPESCU ADVENTURES P DIRECTOR OF THE SYDNEY UNDERGROUND FILM FESTIVAL IN FOODTOWN PHIL ROSER Thai’d and tested a Newtown staple By HANNAH RYAN Recently, friends of mine invited me to an evening of hardcore QUEER culinary criticism, a ‘Thai tasting night’. The basic premise of the If you search ‘Stefan Popescu’ on YouTube you’ll find a bunch of night: to decide once and for all which King Street Thai restaurant videos of a geriatric Romanian panpipe player. He’s cute but he’s thankfully not the Stefan Popescu I interviewed. My Popescu is reigned supreme. Unfortunately our budgets wouldn’t stretch so young and Australian, and his instrument of choice is the camera. far as to order a meal from every Thai outlet. Instead, we opted After attaining an Honours degree from our very own Sydney to sample from our four most frequented Thai places: Thai Times College of the Arts, all the while living in STUCCO, he hacked away (Nine), Thai La Ong, Thai La Ong 2 and Newtown Thai 2. From each at a PhD for four years. He came out of it with a book (Material restaurant we ordered three dishes: Pad Thai Chicken, Chicken Affects) and a feature film (Rosebery 7470), and soon co-founded Panang and Beef Pad Siew. the Sydney Underground Film Festival, now in its fifth year. Ten of us crowded into the living room eager for the Thai tasting I ask Popescu what the difference is between an ‘underground’ to commence. Most of us had light lunches to ensure maximum and a ‘normal’ film, and where the word ‘experimental’ fits in. room for the evening. We telephoned each of the restaurants and Experimental film-making, he tells me, “is about having a look at ordered our twelve dishes for delivery; carefully marking down the conventions and playing with them,” like playing with structural price and time it took to be delivered. With all three restaurants elements or physically manipulating the film. Underground, on the other hand, is more ideological. “Underground cinema has within 300 metres of the house, delivery was very prompt and its roots in transgression and subversive cinema. You may not three dishes came in at under $30 from each establishment. CONOR BATEMAN saw it all jiggle. be scratching on film but you may have someone giving oral Now for the tasting. One of the evening’s guests was not eating so sex to someone else in a particular context.” Popescu describes he took the dishes aside, assigning them code names to ensure a John Waters’ Pink Flamingos as the ultimate underground film, ending as it does with the drag queen, Divine, eating dog poo. “It blind tasting. Tastefully, they were given the names: Kurt Cobain, Amy Winehouse, Janis Joplin and Jimi Hendrix. Keeping score of transgressed boundaries,” he says – and it gave the classification the arts bit office one helluva headache. individual dishes, we ate our way through 12 in total. We ranked each dish from 1 to 4 with 4 taking the top spot. The results were But it’s not all about BJs and shit for Popescu. His festival somewhat surprising. is an ethical task. One impetus behind the festival was the conservatism he saw in Sydney. “In a weird way, it’s because we haven’t grown culturally that we can still have an underground film festival. The peak of underground was really in the seventies. CHICKEN PAD THAI If you look at Berlin or New York, the stuff that we’re calling Thai La Ong 2 was by underground here is really standard overseas. It’s because they far the worst thanks to dry have an established history over time where they developed chicken and tough noodles. these cultural tastes and pushed boundaries.” The festival is an Newtown Thai 2 followed attempt to educate. “People have to see the value in perversion closely with nothing to write home about. Thai La Ong and in what are perceived as negative moral values. It grows next up and coming in on culture. If you can expand your mind a little bit, you can open up top (due largely to their ethically to other things.” superior noodles) Thai Times (Nine). Popescu is optimistic about the power of film – “because people see it as entertainment.” But it’s not just entertainment: it’s a BEEF PAD SEE EIW political tool. “There’s a greater effect – you show a film that Again Thai La Ong 2 came in will change people’s minds about the Iraq War, that will have an last with Thai La Ong narrowly effect. You show people a film that changes people’s minds about beating it, with both featuring sexuality a little, it may actually have an effect on the Iraq War.” rather tough beef. Thai Times Popescu’s articulate and passionate explanation of the ethics of (Nine) took out second place with a delicious dish that the festival is impressive, as are the lengths he has to go to to used just too much sauce. make it all happen: selecting the program means watching up to Newtown Thai 2 took out 800 feature films in four weeks. the honours. Win. The festival’s opening night features a film called Super, starring Liv Tyler and Ellen Page. This is hardly going to be an underground film, surely? Yes, it is, counters Popescu. It may have a big budget, CHICKEN PANANG but the content is “still horrible and subversive.” Subversion and With a clear Last place was the least transgression are the only constants with underground. “All of it’s victory in two impressive dish from Thai La about adventure, cinematic adventure. It’s not about reinforcing Ong followed by Thai La Ong your romantic ideals. We’re not going to give you your rom- categories and 2. Newtown Thai 2 nabbed com, but if you want to go on a cinematic roller-coaster, we’re a close second a second place and finally, in the third it was winning out was Thai Times definitely your trip.” (Nine) with their delicious determined that Thai yet subtly playful flavour. Sydney Underground Film Festival takes place between September 8 Times (Nine) was the and 11 at the Factory Theatre in Marrickville. Tickets are pretty cheap. best affordable Thai Check out www.suff.com.au or follow SUFF_Filmfest on Twitter. restaurant within 300 metres of my friends’ house. Admittedly Thai Times (Nine) is slightly more expensive but it does ACCESS discounts and lunch specials are still just $6.50. HONI RECOMMENDS What was most surprising was the vast difference between Thai La Ong and Thai La Ong 2. If given the choice go for number one. DAVID MACK wheels, deals and investigates a box set in demand. What if I told you that hardly anybody ever saw the devotee signs up for, and set out to tell everybody I’d difference; and ultimately the journalists watching and best television show ever made? ever met about this show. reporting on a nation under attack from itself – but jostling with each other to get the scoop first. It was a show that barely won any television awards, Created by David Simon and running on HBO from featured a cast of unknowns (many of whom were not 2002-2008, The Wire has at its core the examination The fourth season, which introduces a group of young professional actors), was painfully slow and was set of the drug trade in Baltimore, following both the school boys, is particularly impressive, and is the in a third-tier city on America’s east coast. This ain’t police investigating the racket and the gangs running highest rated season of television of all time according no West Wing. In fact, Josh Lyman and friends would it. But with each of its 60 episodes, the show gradually to the review aggregator website Metacritic. It’s get their asses kicked by this lot – with a cap busted in morphs into a tale of Dickensian proportions with a heartbreakingly good. there for good measure. litany of rich characters. Ultimately, it’s nothing less than a raw, painful and unflinchingly honest portrait of Television is a medium that gets a raw deal sometimes Last year I took an American literature class in modern America. – particularly American TV – but for every Two and which the first season of The Wire was a set text. I Half Men or Big Bang Theory we’re subjected to, begrudgingly bought a copy, went home and suffered Season by season the narrative unfolds and Simon we’re treated to a Mad Men or Arrested Development. through the first few episodes which were confusing, adds more patches to his urban tapestry: the blue- What Simon created in The Wire is genuine televisual long and featured so much ghetto talk that I had to collar port workers struggling as America shifts literature: an epic novel told in five volumes, with each watch it with the subtitles on. But by episode four, manufacturing overseas; the corrupt and the idealistic episode a chapter in the tale of this broken city. This something changed, something clicked – and I was and the naïve and the self-interested and the short- isn’t Law & Order; a case won’t be solved at the end hooked. I immediately snatched up the other four sighted who make up City Hall; the students of of each episode. Instead, Wire viewers get a different seasons, devoured them over a matter of weeks and America’s broken schools, destined to lead broken kind of satisfaction: a masterpiece. began the self-appointed crusade that every Wire lives, and the few teachers who might just make a 15 S My balls are bigger than yours. Three footy fanatics weigh in on the superiority of their sport.

RUGBYBY JAMES COLLEY LEAGUE AUSSIEBY ANDY FRASER RULES If you ignore all the things that players do when they’re not on the field, Rugby I’m going to run at this in a three phase formation. We will call these three phases the League is not only the greatest football code but also one of the greatest three A’s. ‘A’ because it’s always first, ‘A’ for Australia and ‘A’ because it’s attractive. endeavours of humankind. While there is a lot of infighting between fans of the Vis-à-vis, the most credible way to judge an oval ball shaped game is Aesthetically, code, everyone universally agrees on two fundamental points: firstly, League is Athletically and A-watchability. football the way it was meant to be played and secondly, the Penrith Panthers are the greatest team in this or any other sport. There is no denying that AFL players are the sexiest players in the ball business, maybe even all the businesses. Aesthetically, they fuck up the competition. They got the League is the sexy, streamlined version of Union, cutting out all that bullshit like tone, the V shape and the singlets. When you’re dealing with an odd, unpredictable scrums that matter and those weird throw-ins. League is faster, more brutal and bouncing ball you need finesse; you need to treat it like a gentlemen and AFL players has made no indication that it considers a Waratah to be an intimidating symbol. are gentlemen. It’s a well-known fact that they could play in dapper dapper suits if they wanted to. A welcome sight compared to those rugby boys built like brick shit-houses As for physicality, while the AFL may have the NRL beaten in fitness levels in most with necks as big as my car. cases (with the odd exception, like Karmichael Hunt who recently made the jump across codes) the NRL has much greater overall strength. One-on-one, an NRL Now the reason they look so good is because these guys are fit, and they have to be. The player would crush their AFL equivalent — even if there were a strict court order size of the AFL field is almost twice the size of the rugby field and you’re not playing AFL that the NRL player was to stay well away from the other player due to multiple unless you have athleticism. Sure they can’t bench press quite as much but put these previous violent offences. guys on a field and they’ll run faster, kick longer and jump higher. This brings me to my final point. NRL’s pure dominance of New South Wales and Queensland, while lacking in other areas of Australia, indicates that this sport, above the others, has an acute We wouldn’t care to argue about these things if we didn’t care to watch them. It’s knowledge of which areas of Australia are actually important instead of wasting all about A-watchability. As a spectator, there’s nothing more exciting than a game of time on those supposed “other” states that probably don’t even exist. Except pure skill. There is a lifeless monotony in two lines of men running at each other, and Melbourne, which existed a bit until it broke the salary cap. repeating the exercise for the next 79 minutes. AFL has more skill in the player and more dimensions to the game: running, kicking, hand passing, bouncing, FLYING! Even Only the NRL has the barefaced balls to call itself a “national” league despite Wikipedia defines Rugby for what it is; a game “based on running with the ball in hand” openly including teams that are in no way Australian (NZ Warriors, Cronulla – boring. AFL is the oldest code of football in Australia, and a well-known favourite of Sharks). Not only does it transcend borders, it openly refuses to acknowledge their Samuel L. Jackson. The proof is in the pudding (and title): AFL – Aussie Rules. existence.

The NRL is the greatest sport to ever be invented that wasn’t cricket. The game is the fastest, toughest sport going. Don’t hate the game, hate the players. Rugby Union beats League because a range of sizes and strengths can play. You have Bryan Habana: the South African cheetah; Sebastian Chabel: the French Hagrid; Phil Waugh: the Australian chest with legs. In League you have two teams of Greg Inglis clones running at each other. In Union, you have the small guy helping the giant guy beat the tall guy and the guy with the arms. Rugby Union commentator Greg Crowden RUGBY UNION once said that League players are better athletes while Rugby players are better BY JULIAN LARNACH sportsmen. It’s good that I’m paying to watch them bench press and squat...wait a Some say Rugby Union is the game they play in heaven. But titles aside (because if second. I were going to be fair I’d have to quote Phil Gould’s innocuous “RUGBY LEAGUE!” Rugby Union beats the other two codes due to its international presence and appeal. and “GREATEST GAME ON TURF”), Rugby Union is simply better for three reasons: tactically more interesting, visibly more entertaining and a true global sport. Firstly, AFL does not even try to aim global (their biggest aim is moving to the Western suburbs of a team they already have a team in) and their only international focus is When William Web Ellis picked up that round ball and ran, something beautiful aimed at a mutant version of their game against Ireland. Rugby League has one and a was created. A game of fierce pitched battles and sprawling melees. It is a war, half international teams (Australia wins, New Zealand sometimes gets lucky). The World but a good kind of war where you shake hands at the end and can have a shower. Cup for Rugby features 28 teams, with at least 20 having a genuine chance of actually Rugby’s closest relative in the big picture is not League or AFL, but soccer. A game winning. of traditions as well as tactics that either annihilate or are adapted; if something isn’t working you try something different (*knowing nod to League’s run, run, run, Rugby Union is something for everyone. Whether you’re watching it to see the personal run, kick formula*). It’s a game of dual goals: help your team get a try and stop battles between tight head and loose head props, the brutal grit of the flankers, the SPORT the other team doing the same; and there is an endless variety of flick passes, flare of the outside backs or the crisp skills of the halves. At a live match you’ve got Gary Owen’s, ball-and-alls, rucking, mauling to achieve them. The joy of rugby is 30 different shows on the field at the same time, every one jockeying for their own watching a game and genuinely not knowing what’s going to happen next. individual and team goals. It genuinely cannot be beaten as a sport.

“There is a great story behind each dormant Hoops @ Kind Of hoop and they create a powerful sense of nostalgia,” says Gray. “Once I began looking, I Gallery discovered hoops everywhere, from beautiful mansions to driveways and small rustic JACQUELINE BREEN holds court. houses.” Do basketball hoops have memories? Do The art and sports worlds can often seem they look back on long, hot, summer school antithetical; their audience and practitioners holidays and sigh? Do they think about those are often trapped in silly stereotypes of skinny scorching afternoons, with small kids in old jeans or shinpads. Happily, Gray’s work shakes sneakers making three-pointers and desperate and stirs the two together, and the result is near misses, bouncing back for more after more actually really moving. until the heat breaks and the bitumen steams and the sky bruises and the rain washes the little Missed the show and looking for some more champions away? Is yours still there now, rotting courtside art action? Head along to Pot and swinging above your drive-way, watching Luck, FBi’s new culture evening at the Social. you wedge your P’s behind the number plates This week there’s a mini zine fair featuring and speed off? Does it miss you? basketball fanatics Beefknuckles. Expect paper Australian photographer Robert Gray’s mixed rings’ transition from fun to forgotten. They are strong and point guards and well laid-out lay-ups in their bag of art and sport scored points last week at simple and quietly moving. An editorial sports photographer ‘Ball Street Journal’ zine. Lee Tran Lam and Kind Of Gallery in Darlinghurst; this is definitely by trade, Gray is accustomed to catching the big moments on Lisa Lerkenfeldt are also in the house. one to watch for those who love both cricket film; his lense normally scoops up the goal or the try or the and creativity. His shots of abandoned basketball victory lap. For this show he has veered in to introspective FBi Social, Kings Cross Hotel, 6pm hoops from North America and Hawaii, to territory and spun his clicker on to muted palette. 16 Sydney city and the western suburbs explore the Guide to Living on Little Money... ASK ABE V Having not much money is not something same goes with cooking dinner and having out for council pick up. The more posh the that should make you feel ashamed. It is a breakfast at home. If you don’t know how to area the nicer the stuff. I know someone fact of life for many students. Come to the cook check out the internet, library or even who’s furnished an entire house by driving Q & A with students who SRC and talk to a caseworker about what the Union publications for some easy recipes. around the North Shore on council pick up need help and a dog who options you have to make life a bit easier. The cheapest meal of all is the one you don’t night. Lots of people build beds, cupboards, has all the answers... There are services available to everyone, pay for. By this I mean have some meals at tables and bookshelves out of milk crates. Send letters to: which can reduce your costs. Remember, SRC a friend’s or relative’s house. This can be These are quite easily found near places [email protected] advice is free to members. especially handy the day before your pay day. that sell milk (eg, take away food shops, smaller supermarkets and petrol stations). It would also be a good idea to have a budget Housing This is illegal. The crates belong to the milk plan. Write down how you’re going to spend Cheap housing is quite tricky in Sydney. The company. You shouldn’t do this as the milk Dear Abe, your money each week including putting a average rent paid by University of Sydney crate police might find you with milk crates My lecturer accused me of plagiarism last little aside for emergencies. If you need help students is $150+. Look on café noticeboards in your possession and fine you. If you do with making that plan, ask the SRC Bursary and telegraph poles for share housing ads choose to break the law, you can tie cushions semester but I didn’t really understand and Loan officer to help you or check out the or try applying for a place at STUCCO, the to them to make really comfortable little what she meant. Now a friend tells on-line planner at www. wesleymission.org. student housing cooperative (http://www. stools too. me that I need to be extra careful or I au/centres/creditline. stucco.soc.usyd.edu.au). The Redfern Legal could get kicked out of uni. I don’t really Centre have an excellent publication called Loans understand what’s happening. I didn’t Debts the Share Housing Guide. Get a copy at www. There are a few places from which you can copy anything and I don’t think I should The Wesley Mission Credit Line (ph:1800 808 rlc.org.au/sharehousing. There are a few get interest free loans. It is only a good idea have gotten into trouble in the first place. 488) can help if you have people coming after places you can contact to get emergency to get a loan when you have the intention Can you please explain this to me? you for money. They can talk to them, calm housing. Talk to an SRC caseworker for more and the ability to pay it back. The SRC offers them down and work out a better way for details. The Department of Housing have a an emergency loan (interest free) of up to Didn’t Cheat you to repay your debts. Some legal centres scheme called Rentstart. This is where they $50. The Un has a Financial Assistance Office may also be able to help with this sort of pay 50-100% of your bond. You need to that has interest free loans of up to $1500 as work. apply before you move in, be on the lease well as some bursaries (loans you don’t have Dear Didn’t Cheat, and be a low income earner. They can also to pay back). They may also know about any Food help you if you fall behind in rent. Check out scholarships you could apply for. They can be Plagiarism is something that confuses a lot The SRC and the Union offer free food from the Rentstart leaflet on the SRC website for contacted by phone on 9351 9970 or at level of students. You must reference your source time to time to promote various campaigns details. 7 of the Education building. You can check of information every single time you use it. and events. These are advertised in the Daily out their web page at http://www.usyd.edu. If you use exact words you must have quote Bull and Honi Soit. Some Union clubs also Phone au/su/fin_assist/. marks as well as the source. If you change offer a regular meal for a one-off joining fee The age of mobile phones has certainly the words around you just have to note the (eg, the Vegetarian Club). The University dawned. It is possible to buy a handset Fun The Union offers a large range of social source. If you read something in a book or also serves food at all the graduations cheaply and control the costs by using activities that you can attend that are mostly a web site that comes from another book ceremonies. It would be very naughty of you prepaid accounts. This is usually a better free. They also give away prizes at trivia or website, you need to say that you read to go there when you’re not really attending option for students sharing a house than nights and other social nights that may get it in the source that read it from the other you to the movies, see a band or even an the ceremony, so if you’re hungry and you’ve connecting a landline. If you need a landline source. If this is confusing to you go to the got no money, please do not go to these for internet connection, consider restricting opera. There are a few festivals that happen Learning Centre and ask for help. ceremonies and pretend you belong so you it to local calls only to avoid excessively high throughout the year throughout the city bills. and suburbs. Keep an eye on the local can eat their sandwiches. The University says there are 2 types of papers. Keep in mind too that the Union plagiarism – negligent (didn’t mean to do The SRC runs a food co-op on level 4 of Transport sells discounted tickets for the movies and the Wentworth Building that has lots It’s perplexing to see that public transport in some other places. Ask at the contact desks it) and deliberate (usually if you have done of very cheap food (like dried fruit, rice NSW is as expensive as it is, yet so unreliable. for details. (The Co-op Bookshop also sells it previously). The penalties can range crackers, chocolates, rice, grains, etc). To be However, it is still significantly less expensive discounted movie tickets). You could also from failing the assignment (which usually environmentally friendly you have to bring than running your own car. You can reduce try contacting small newspapers and asking means you fail the subject), through to your own container or bag for the food. If you transport costs by travelling off-peak, using them if they need you to review films or being suspended from the university for 2 volunteer to do a shift there you will even get pre-paid tickets (metro 10 bus tickets, weekly bands. semesters. a discount. train tickets) or just walking some of the way. When using public transport consider the Health This matter is a serious one, so please treat Turkish, Thai/Vietnamese, Indian and “cost” of your safety too. Sometimes it is a If you are an Australian citizen or permanent it seriously. Talk to an SRC caseworker if you vegetarian type cuisines can be quite cheap. good idea to splash out and take a taxi home. resident and on Centrelink payment or if are unsure about what to do. Ask around or look at their menus. Many you are on a low wage (less than about $315 places on King Street in Newtown offer you a Furniture per week) you may be eligible for a Health Abe discount with a student card. The food court Cheap furniture and kitchen stuff can be Care Card. This gives you reduced prices on under UniLodge on Broadway is also a good bought from op shops. The really big ones most prescription drugs (about $4), discount undergraduate students and is confidential. value place to eat. seem to have lots of really good, really cheap tickets at the movies (although it is cheaper The caseworkers are employed by the SRC stuff. Near main campus there’s the Salvo’s to buy movie money from the Union), free and are not employees of the University. This The Hare Krishna’s have a food van every big depot at St Peters often called Tempe ambulance coverage in NSW, cheap glasses means you can tell us pretty much anything afternoon outside Newtown Neighbourhood Tip. In Marrickville there’s Reverse Garbage. and frames, and access to free dental care. and we won’t dob! This is one of the many Centre. For a donation of whatever you can There are many more in the suburban areas. For details talk to an SRC caseworker. services that the SRC provides its members. afford you can have a meal with dessert. Have a look in a phone book for the listings. They will even let you take some food home Some places will actually give you things to Help SRC Help contact if you bring a container. There are some set up a house for free if you show them you To make an appointment with an SRC welfare other organisations that offer cheap meals. are in need. caseworker you can ring 9660 5222, email Phone: 9660 5222 | [email protected] SRC caseworkers have a list available for the [email protected] or drop in to the Office Hours: Mon - Fri, 9am – 5pm inner Sydney and Sydney areas. Bringing You should also keep in mind that one Darlington campus office on Tuesdays or Drop-in sessions - No appointment required food/drink from home is often a lot cheaper person’s trash is another person’s treasure. Thursdays between 1 and 3pm. This free Tuesdays & Thursdays 1-3pm than buying lunch on or off campus. The Keep an eye out for stuff that’s being put service is available to Sydney University If you are not on main campus contact SRC on: 0466 169 664

The Students’ Representative Council (SRC) Legal Service has a solicitor on campus to provide free legal advice, representation in court and referral to undergraduate students at Sydney University. We can assist you with: Appointments BIG Savings when you buy • Family law (advice only) • Consumer complaints Phone the SRC Offi ce to make an appointment 9660 5222 • Criminal law • Victims compensation Drop-in sessions your course books with us! Tuesdays & Thursdays 1pm-3pm (no need for an appointment) • Traffi c offences • Discrimination and harassment • We have textbooks for most Location • Insurance law • Tenancy law Students’ Representative Council, UniversitySydney of Sydney Uni Courses • Domestic violence • AdministrativeCheap law (government etc) Level 1 Wentworth Bldg, Uni of Sydney• We buy & sell textbooks • Employment law • University complaintsSecondhand 02 9660 5222 | www.src.usyd.edu.au according to demand • Credit & debt • Other general complaints ACN 146 653 143 • You can sell your books on consignment. Please phone us Note: The solicitor cannot advise on immigration law but can refer you to migration agents and community centres. For Family The SRC’s operational costs, space and administrativeve Law and Property Relationships Act matters we can refer you to solicitors who charge at a fair rate. support are fi nanced by the University ofbefore Sydney. bringing in your books. NEW Location! • We are open to USYD students Level 4, Wentworth Building & the public SRC HELP (Next to the International Lounge) BOOKS Hours: Mon to Fri 9am - 4.30pm Search for text books online Phone: (02) 9660 4756 on campus now! www.src.usyd.edu.au/default.php Email: [email protected] Current second-hand text books on sale now! Call 02 9660 4756 to check www.src.usyd.edu.au availability and reserve a book. 17 V Donherra Walmsley [email protected] PRESIDENT’S REPORT twitter: @srcpresident

As the SRC President, I spend a lot of Campus Infrastructure Services are in favour of recorded lectures, because time in meetings with the University, currently working on updating campus academics can, if they choose, stick to and a lot of time sending emails and maps to show all routes. the argument that recording lectures lobbying around issues important to Integrated timetable and (new) maps is actually detrimental overall to your the student body. Change generally will go up on CIS website under Security learning. happens very slowly within the Bus Service http://sydney.edu.au/ University, simply because it is such facilities/security/bus.shtml#timetab” This study has the support of the a large organisation with so many Dean of the Faculty of Arts and Social bureaucratic checks and balances, The assurance that there will be a Sciences (FASS), and policy regarding which can be frustrating both for me bus service covering these routes is the availability of lectures online within and for the student body who may feel definitely a win for students, and I FASS could be developed, depending on that campaigns have been run for years encourage everyone to make use of it. the outcomes of this study. Depending with no outcome, but this week I’ve got upon its findings, the Study also has the some wins to report. Online Lectures potential to influence University-wide policy – which is notoriously hard to do SCA Bus Don’t get too excited, I haven’t gotten – as it is approaching this issue from an the University to agree that all lectures unbiased pedagogical perspective rather It is quite difficult for students to get will be recorded and available to be than that of a subjective stakeholder. to and from the SCA campus and main streamed online just yet, but lecturers campus via public transport, which within the University – Dr Anna Boucher The study will take place in two units creates problems for students who have and Dr Lynne Chester - have made in second semester this year, with a subjects running on both campuses, the decision to conduct an empirical cohort whose lectures are not being as well as inhibiting students from study on “the effects of lecture capture recorded and made available online. a methodologically sound empirical engaging in cross-campus activities. provision on student attendance at Next year, the same courses will be study of this nature, a conclusion won’t lectures and tutorials... and student run with lectures available online. be reached until 2012 or 2013, which The University ran a trial bus service learning through their performance in The tutorial and lecture attendance, is quite a while in student terms. This in first semester, which was very unit of study assessments and through assessment performance, and a student is, however, the first empirical study successful. A number of students have their own self-perceptions of their self-assessment of learning will be of this nature being done in the social contacted me over the first three weeks learning with and without lecture administered to both cohorts and sciences so it’s pretty exciting that of this semester, concerned that the capture.” (Lecture Capture and Student results compared. Of course, students it’s being done here. One of the other bus service was not going to run in Learning; Participant Information who do not wish to participate in good things about this study is that it second semester. Statement). the self-assessed study will have the gives students taking the courses being ability to opt-out. Online lecture access used in the study an opportunity to After raising this with a number of So, the University is just doing a study, patterns will also be examined – i.e. – see how research in their discipline people within the University, including why is that such a big deal? are students listening to lectures on a works in action. It’s a great example the Vice Chancellor and the Deputy weekly basis as revision or preparation Well, currently there is no scholarship of the research enriched teaching and Vice Chancellor (Education), I have for tutorials, are they listening to all that actually examines the questions learning culture that the University is received the following information 13 in a 2-day block right before exams, outlined above. What that means is trying to create. regarding the bus service: are they listening to particular lectures that arguments around whether or which had difficult content and concepts It’s really excellent to see that rather “The decision to continue the service not lectures should be recorded and multiple times to get their heads around than just adding more voices to the was made on the 3/8/11. This was available online are subjective – with it, and so on. This information will chorus of “we don’t know what the also prompted by a need to provide a students generally (though not always) contribute to a better understanding of effects of having lectures online on service to ATP (Australian Technology arguing that having lectures available how students learn. learning are”, some academics within Park). online is beneficial for their learning and the University have stepped up and The new timetable provides 5 something that is a vital component of One of the lecturers who is conducting decided to conduct a study to find out. additional trips daily for SCA – either to 21st century learning, and lecturers often the study, Dr Anna Boucher, approached or from SCA. (though again not always) arguing that me about the SRC’s lectures online Moral of the story – you should still fill The timetabling is based on usage and having lectures recorded and available campaign, and expressed that she was out the SRC’s lectures online survey, client feedback. online means lower lecture and tutorial interested in using the information and and watch this space for updates. The current timetable was trialled attendance and an adverse impact on opinions collected in our survey as an Thursday 4/8 & Friday 5/8/11 last week learning outcomes. Unless there is a additional element in her study, which incorporating trips to Mallet Street and study that has a solid basis in evidence, is awesome. Unfortunately, because of ATP. it is very difficult to win the argument the timelines involved in conducting

Become a member of the SRC! Join in person at the SRC Office or the SRC Bookshop src Get involved! Podcast Lectures Campaign... Fair Fares! The SRC is running a campaign to get the University NUS is seeking to raise support for all students, to get more lectures recorded and available online, including local, international, part time and both preferably as podcasts. undergraduate and postgraduate students to have If you’d like to see more lectures being recorded (as a fair access to public transport through a complement to not a replacement for live lectures) help national concession card scheme. us out by filling out our survey; and if you don’t think lectures should be recorded, let us know that as well! Sign the online petition! http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/a-national- Fill in the survey NOW! student-concession-card.html 18 online: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/podcastlectures or pick up a postcard in your lecture and fill in the survey on the back V Tim Matthews and Al Cameron EDUCATION OFFICER REPORT [email protected]

This report is proudly brought to you by in recognition that USyd students will learning. They make networking, group Microsoft. always preference Apple anyway, or that study and online tuition all easier. a ‘Nintendo64 Lounge’ would have been It is our hope that they encourage You may have noticed a bit of a change a more appealing hipster hangout. academics to consider the ways that in your beloved long-hours SciTech new technology and new learning Library. The new ‘TechLounge’ (on the The TechLounge is one of a number of environments can help to provide a 21st JFR Plaza level) features couches that new study spaces being created around Century education. And, failing that, they suggest are used for “study” (read: the campus by the University. You can they are a much better place to sleep sleeping), a Tech staff member, Xbox also check out the ‘Learning Hub’ on than the dusty Fisher stack! game consoles and other funky gadgets. Level 4 of the Wentworth Building. We’re really glad that the University Buy Xbox. Similarly, in proposals for the is investing in some innovative redevelopment of Fisher Library, the student spaces on campus! We, for Microsoft has partnered with the University has shown an interest in University to design what they are instance, would be happy to settle all creating study spaces that reflect the future disputes with the University calling the “common room of the ways that students actually learn. For future.” We think it’s pretty cool. If administration through a friendly game instance study ‘pods’ (get beyond the on the University’s Xbox. only because playing Xbox at uni is a Matrix imagery in your head), which little bit retro. The shiny new space was allow groups to study together with As always, if you have any problems previously decked out with enough interactive technology services. with your subjects, lecturers or anything Microsoft logos to make Bill Gates blush else (or want to play us in FIFA), shoot (No seriously. Buy Xbox.), but these These new study spaces will encourage us an email at: education.officers@src. have recently been removed – either different and innovative modes of usyd.edu.au!

Chad Sidler GENERAL SECRETARY’S report [email protected] The Students First’s Environment Officer movement. Adam Foda and Henry Kha The other motion of interest to have Adam Foda and Ethnic Affairs Officer have been working very closely with the been debated, which unlike the Fair Henry Kha were meant to have their Fair Trade supporters to ensure their Trade motion would definitely not have motion to have a Fair Trade Collective needs are being voiced through the unanimous support, was to make the SRC established put before the SRC Council SRC. Furthermore I have spoken with elections closed campus. I have spoken Meeting last Wednesday 10th August. and lobbied a significant number of the with a lot of people that have approached 33 elected representatives and I am me about keeping the campus open, Unfortunately it was not meant to be, yet to come across anyone that is not fair and free. However, I am yet to have when, in the afternoon the meeting supportive of the establishment of a Fair anyone in favour of a closed campus put was cancelled after it became apparent Trade Collective. their argument to me. that it would not reach quorum. An attendance of at least 17 of the 33 A Fair Trade Collective would give Fair I will continue to keep you updated of the elected representatives of the SRC Trade supporters access to the essential progress of these two motions before the is required for the meeting to have knowledge, funding and assistance of Council. Hopefully by next week I will have legitimacy. While this of course was the SRC. This would be an excellent step had a supporter of a closed campus put a shame and disheartening for the in the right direction to representing their case to me so I can report back to Chad (pictured) Fair Trade supporters that had made the views of the overwhelming majority you. the effort in good faith to attend the of students. There should be another SRC elections are coming up in September meeting. Council Meeting within the next few and nominations for positions close weeks and hopefully perhaps the However this should not be interpreted next week. Make sure you are a support motion will have unanimous support. as a set back for the fair trade member of the SRC and put your nomination in to run for a position!

Avani Dias WOMENS OFFICER REPORT [email protected]

Ultra conservative media mogul Pat there is apparently Barack Obama, Kurt launch kicked off on Monday night with coming out later this semester. We Robertson once artfully said that Cobain and John Lennon. But bringing it a 5-speaker panel that accommodated will be calling for submissions soon. feminism “encourages women to leave back to the scope of Sydney University to all genders. It was a Q&A style session their husbands, kill their children, the Women’s Collective have often been with an interesting level of debate. Want to get involved in any of practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism confronted by this idea of whether our events or campaigns this Besides this weekly event, the collective and become lesbians.” Sure, if “feminist” men can actually be involved in the semester? Either drop us a line have started organisation for the is a dirty word for some women, then feminist movement and allow it to move at usydwomenscollective@gmail. Reclaim the Night rally in October this Become a member of the SRC! identifying as one can be completely forward. com or attend Women’s Collective year. This is a global protest against Join in person at the SRC Office or the SRC Bookshop horrific for some men. However, even in meetings: Every Wednesday at 1pm For this particular reason and to simply men’s sexual violence and this year will the face of a lot of ignorance about what in the Holme Women’s Room. spark debate and get the wider USYD be a non-autonomous rally. A separate feminists actually believe – equality community thinking we have started organising collective has come together between sexes which will result in equal

up a non-autonomous group that runs to coordinate this year’s event and src pay, equal education, equal access to every Monday night at 5pm in the Quad they meet at 5.30pm, Tuesday nights at resources and equal support from the Refectory. Here we will be discussing Customs House in Circular Quay. structure of society – there are many a variety of issues relating to gender men that are not afraid to wave their Keep your eyes peeled for our Growing equality with a number of different feminist flag. Amongst the famous, Strong publication that will also be speakers attending different weeks. Our 19 D CRYPToNOMiCON ACROSS! DOWN! CRYPTICCROSSWORD 1. Wonderful for a bit, to start 1. Touched fabric (4) with (3) 2. Have sex with young sheep 5. Drink the ends with a... (3) endlessly? Crazy! (6) 9, 10. …British officer studying 3. Agatha puns new flower (10) literature? (7,5) 4. Takes quiet measurements 10. See 9 (7) 11. Pulitzer mostly adjusted 5. Hot air for Louise’s friend is flower (5) about right, roughly (7) 12. Long-standing ale without 6. Central lament at end of a record (9) prayer (4) 13. Whipped cream on love 7. Rejecting needs no (7) introduction for sending out 14. Non-believer at robbery (8) (7) 8. Correct junction and road in 17. Suggest field (5) France (4) 19. Spy chief at centre of 13. Caught sport in Mr. Stewart opium ring (1) (5) 20. Drink for drunken glare (5) 15. What cup does seems to 23. Insults places where de be 8? (5,5) soldiers live? (7) 16. Rents out birds (5) 24. Commands relative in 18. Dalai Lama’s people exist in broken tins (7) giants (8) 26. A walk outside on a space 21. Suspiciously, Jamaican cadet (9) music is wrapped in twisted 28. Suspect eager to say yes cane (7) (5) 22. Detectives bend over 30. Pain ruined 100 on the container with nothing in it for streets of speech (7) London? (5) 25. Unusually phrase ‘Angel’ 31. Shut near shot (5,2) (6) 32. “Viewer,” I said (3) 26. Snakes like afterthought (4) JIM FISHWICK ran out of themes. 33. Bad actor gets no reply 27. Cone smashes without from Harem (3) repetition (4) 29. Made up cheese (4) TARGET u p r PSEUDOKU n e s r l d

RATING: You know how it is, you win some, you lose some, don’t be hard on yourself jimmy, it never helps

COMIC fun

20 Ceci n’est pas une poorly managed overfunded newspapé New wave proven better, sexier than old wave By Christophe Waltz Inter-Arts Practitioner

NEW YORK — In news that has Zhou nee-B’, an authority on in New wave. In accordance stunned lovers of the status quo what used to pass as art. “With with the New wave manifesto, and sticks in the mud the world the realization that every single both apricots and butts belong over, old art has been proven to work... God, I feel like a fraud to “certified hotties” and appear be boring, unsexy, and exactly the even using that word.” in multi-media by multi-faceted kind of thing your father would arts practitioners. “Every single thing that used to like, joining the ranks of golf, pass as art, that we used to think New wave, not to be confused three-quarter length pants and expressed the human condition, with New Wave, Nu Wave, New the other children. is completely worthless, the art v vave or old wave, has been The misunderstanding, trade has collapsed overnight.” praised by informed critics as perpetuated by intellectually the one and only future of art, a “In its place? The landscape bankrupt and financially place previously held by literally is covered with discarded lubricated old white men at every art movement ever but this landscapes, the old wave is still soirees, dinner parties and Tory- time for real. Although it takes trying to convince people their sponsored conservative book influences from the nihilism shit doesn’t stink.” launches, has rocketed countless of modernism, the anger and dull hacks to careers that “But it does stink,” added Upton, speed of futurism and the speed simply shouldn’t be. “It stinks like butts.” and anger of neo-futurism, mathematicians have reported Pieces of shit everywhere have In comparison to the butts of the that New wave is far more than realized that they’ve wasted their old wave, the butts featured in the sum of its parts. lives on a lie, experts say. New wave are sexy, toned and easily confused with the tight- Its dangling, perfectly- “The financial repercussions at skinned apricots that also feature proportioned parts, goddamn. Pictured: New wave iconograph, The Dude. hand here are on a whole new scale,” said Professor Jacques OUR FEATURE ON NEW ART CONTINUES: Mona Lisa Smile Actually Old Man Whitaker’s all along

By Jennifer Fricker, Soundscape Painter “Like a hair, or a wire, so I reached up to try to pull it off, PARIS, FRANCE — The yank it off. Then the whole Mona Lisa is the most mouth came away and the famous painting in the world. mouth that was there, this old In the legendary career of man’s mouth, started calling Leonardo Da Vinci, it stands me a snail-mouthed Bastille as his greatest achievement: a fiend.” painting that defines the life “I’m French-Canadian,” added of the greatest artist the world Dupont. page 16 has ever seen, that has captured generations under a single The smile, previously theorized enigmatic smile, mystifying to have belonged to a model, and enchanting critics, artists a high-class mistress or Da and laymen. Now, though, Vinci’s sister among many it seems that the Mona Lisa others, has finally been smile may not belong to Lisa conclusively proven to belong Giocondo (as previously to “Old Man” Whitaker (68), thought), but to skulduggery who lay concealed behind the aficionado and mill-owner painting since its creation with Basil Montgomery “Old Man” the aim of using his beguiling Whitaker. and confusing gaze to scare off patrons of the Louvre. The artwork, described by Whitaker, pictured, earned his nickname at a young Whitaker, who planned to age as a result of his remarkable old age. page 45 the French Government as expand his undetermined “the crown jewel of European mill-centric business using art”, was undergoing routine the ground he believed would high renaissance art, “But one does inspections at the Louvre when soon be vacated by the most wish for the times when the Mona the smile was discovered. visited art gallery in the world, Lisa’s smile didn’t yell racial slurs.” Pierre Dupont, a worker at the was disappointed by Dupont’s Mr. Whitaker could not be reached gallery, was the first person discovery. since the painting’s creation for comment. In a released statement to notice a slight discrepancy “It’s not that the Mona Lisa he has said that he would have gotten along “Lisa’s” hairline. has become un-beautiful, away with it, too, if it weren’t for those that it is suddenly no longer a meddling guards. “I hadn’t noticed it before, but triumph of composition and The nature of “it” remains unclear. there was the slightest wrinkle colour,” said Professor Gabriel along the upper lip of the Schendall, an officer of the page 69 painting,” said Dupont (32), Louvre and an authority on NEWS “War is old men talking and young men dying.” — Rolf Harris Sarah Palin reveals Major political parties accidentally devise Arts policies entire political By Bella Mengiary, Artistic Liaison career an extended CANBERRA — Both Prime Minister Mr Abbott was also forced to apologise Julia Gillard and Opposition Leader after leaked internal Liberal party performance art Tony Abbott were left red-faced documents revealed that the Coalition piece yesterday when the two major political actually has a shadow Arts minister in parties accidentally took time to issue Senator George Brandis. By Karen Walter, B.A. B.A. Racus policies on the Arts. “I’ve spoken with Mr Brandis,” Mr WASILLA, ALASKA – In a stunning In an embarrassing shift of attention Abbott said, “and he know realises turn of events, former Alaska from boat people and the carbon what an error it was to take his mind governor and one-time Republican tax, both the Prime Minister and Mr of the bigger, more important and Abbott were forced to apologise for Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah scarier issues facing our country like the Palin revealed to gathered media their respective “lapses in judgment” Pictured: Abbot and Gillard shortly after stumbling government-sanctioned carbon raping that her entire political career is in somehow taking the time to speak into a discussion on the funding of galleries, of small businesses.” publicly on the Australian Arts industry. secondary education in the arts and artist-run actually just an extended piece of initiatives (ARIs). Mr Abbott refused to confirm or deny performance art. “I apologise to the Australian people rumours that members of his party unreservedly for wasting valuable time in hostile crowd of talkback radio listeners, believed music education should receive Unmasking her true identity as allowing the Labor party to take its mind angry the government had lifted its more funding in schools, but was happy Misa Harokashi, a Japanese- off detention centres and issue a policy attention from more important issues to say that he did not support the NSW born, NYU modern artist based in calling for more funding for local theatres like Muslims. Government’s Ethics classes – what he Greenwich Village, Ms Harokashi and galleries,” Ms Gillard said, before a called a “real issue.” said that she devised the character of ‘Sarah Palin’ as a modernist treatise on gender and the ideology Big pile of shit actually artistic masterpiece, Critics swear of American exceptionalism. She says that Palin’s famous By Jon Schultz, Eligible B.A. Pictured: folksy banter and ‘Mama-Grizzly’ MELBOURNE, VICTORIA — A fucking A small portion of what persona were meant to signify the enormous pile of stinking, rancid junk is critics assure gallery lost inability for the human soul actually one of the most important pieces owners is actually an to connect to a higher plane of of art in a century, critics promise. installation artwork existential meaning. and not just the Art lovers assure us that the new festering remains of a installation, found in a putrid, mangled joke that stopped being heap in the middle of a forgotten corner funny months ago. of town, is in reality a complex take on CLASSIFIEDS modern society, despite its apparent CLUBS: 27 club looking for new members. first impression as a fucking hovel Initiation details given upon request, when of twisted excrement. alone.

“I know that this street art may look like CONTROVERSIAL CARTOON: Depicts The a forgotten pile of over-used sanitary Prophet Muhammad as an overweight cat. products, but it’s really quite a sublime Muhammad hates Mondays, loves lasagna. meditation on the nature of reality,” Art artiste has expressed his inner generation, crowds quickly gathered to Gallery of NSW Director Edmund Capon humanity,” Capon added, without even also swear how they too had been able LOST: Meaning, Objective Reality. If found, vowed dead seriously. cracking so much as a smile. to immediately look past the sound of please return to Post-Modernism. dead kittens that the pile of liposuction Muhammad spin-off comic sparks riots, merchandise “Once you allow your mind to get past As word spread that the fucking remnants seemed to mysteriously give LOST: One ear. If found, please call V. Van the fetid stench of rotting rat organs, gargantuan pigsty of festooned diapers off and appreciate its artistic value. Gough. But when you call, please speak up. you may come to appreciate the and vomitous week-old curried beef sophistication with which the anonymous was actually the artistic oeuvre of our FOUND: I found this big parcel at the beach. It’s fully wrapped and shape-wise... I guess it’s the exact shape of Little Bay. I’m not giving it back. I am however looking to buy stamps in bulk. 0431 477 988. OPINION The thoughts of the generation, printed by the greatest newspaper of any generation. POST-WARHOL ART: I bought way too much Just because my HSC Art Major is to do soup. You watch me eat it, it becomes art. POST-MODERNIST ART: Use two stamps with body image, doesn’t make it a cliché and express. We need our modernism RIGHT By Imogen Sandford, Loretto Kirribilli NOW!

I know what you’re thinking. All Also notice how the dominance WANTED: New colour. Something reddy- HSC art majors are basically of dark colours creates a mood pinky that I can put on a mood ring when I’m the same. Every year bunch of conducive to bouts of extended feeling hungry yet content. depression and teenage angst, wannabe teenage artists produce LIFE MODEL: available for Bat Mitzvahs, the same stock-standard works in what I feel is a genius move to 21sts, stag parties, hen parties, life painting that barely inspire. signify the harrowing experience classes, getting naked and shaking around a that is being a teenage girl. little, funerals. Well this year is different! Check themes that can only come from a out the triptych I painted of a naked My Art teacher swears that my work Riverview boy breaking up with you BACK TO THE FUTURISM: Real doctors teenage girl struggling with self- is the most-inspired in the entire and your breasts not developing as need not apply. Fast car necessary. Time doubt, called Judgment: A Series! class, and she really knows her stuff! quickly as your friends’. travel unnecessary. She graduated with a creative arts I’m also renowned at school for my You may feel as if all teenage girls are diploma from TAFE and has been photography; I’ve taken a whole bound to reproduce homogenised exhibited in places ranging from the series of black and white, over- and indistinguishable pieces of Cammeray Community Centre to LE GARTÉ saturated photos of my feet and over-emotive and moody works, but her own lounge room! Wishes to acknowledge the creative you’re yet to see how finely the dark empty park benches that I edited inspiration drawn from the following artists: paint I used around the subject’s It really irks me how people always in iPhoto. I’ve called most of eyes expresses her lack of faith in her rush to judgment over teenage them Untitled because I feel that DAVID MACK, TOM WALKER, inner spirit because of people making art and never pay attention to the titles are for artists whose work MICHAEL RICHARDSON, fun of her weight. deeper themes that are present: can’t speak for itself. NEADA BULSECO, SHANNON CONNELLAN AND JAMES COLLEY Consider your ideas stolen. Beethoven, Mozart Nickelback A Dissertation, on, Chad Kroeger an,d his Un,con,tested Ascen,sion, to the Musical Pan,theon, Part IX

By Professor Michael Sence, BA LLB Sydney DPhil PGDipTheol Oxford The works of brilliant men Utter nonsense. Consider this: the submit every song by resonate throughout the band’s existence is so unlikely Nickelback ever. Why centuries. Franz Schubert’s 998 as to be the product of cosmic else would no song compositions, each equal in chance. What if the British exceed 4:28 in length? genius though unique in form, Invasion had never occurred and Why else would no song to have kicking pool parties. will suffer not the ravages of time. the blues remained the domain venture from thirty-two-bar form Just yesterday a removalist van Olivier Messiaen’s transposition of black American artists in the – or, at worst mildly diluting took away my thousands of of birdsong to conventional ‘50s? No Nickelback. What if the the Kroegic emanation, from records and original scores from instruments and the grandiose, New Wave had never cannibalised strophic form? Why else would the musical canon – goodbye discordant strains of Des canyons the punk ethos and in turn created they never even bother to change Stravinsky! Ciao, Tchaikovsky! aux étoiles will never dull in their post-punk, and Joy Division, and the three guitar pedals they have In your place I have a CD tower adversity. Even Shostakovich’s the Cure, and Gang of Four? No been using for the sixteen years with all twenty-four in the ouevre, neutered by Stalin’s Nickelback. What if Kurt Cobain they have maintained global Nickelbackian constellation, and politburo, will take its rightful were alive today? No Nickelback. popularity? even a copy of the lost ‘U-Sleep place alongside its peers as a Motel recordings’, nabbed on Rather, the band’s position as the It’s simple. Nickelback is a collection of fractured genius, Ebay for just $4! Suckers! I love 11th bestselling music act of the perfect artwork. pushed to breaking point by this band! They’re… really good! 2000s is, to the right-thinking rampant ideologues. As, I insist, Its brilliance is so pervasive I think they’re really good! I love man, a culmination of musical the new millenium births and that it has begun to affect how I Nickelback! God, why can’t I evolution that has been brewing heaves itself onto the bloodslick speak, think, and live. At night say anything else? They’re… for thousands of years, and being birthing-ramp of the world’s in my brand-new ‘bachelor pad’, good! My… my words… failing labelled ‘mainstream’ is simply stage, demanding ready-made I am wracked with torment as I me? Can’t… express… words? its by-product. I would venture CLUBS: 27 club looking for new members. identity, so too shall Nickelback. experience Nickelback’s totally Nickelback! Nickelback are so Initiation details given upon request, when to detractors that, perhaps, they rad attitude – or ‘raditude’. I good! Ung. So good. alone. Some say that the Kroegers’ have misunderstood the thesis of have resigned my tenure, and CONTROVERSIAL CARTOON: Depicts The inimitable pop/rock stylings are, Nickelback. As a corollary, and I am just now in the process Prophet Muhammad as an overweight cat. if anything, too mainstream. supporting evidence, I would Muhammad hates Mondays, loves lasagna. of acquiring a pool in which LOST: Meaning, Objective Reality. If found, please return to Post-Modernism.

LOST: One ear. If found, please call V. Van Gough. But when you call, please speak up. We are contractually obligated to include some kind of bullshit FOUND: I found this big parcel at the beach. It’s fully wrapped and shape-wise... I guess it’s the exact shape of Little Bay. I’m not giving it back. I am however looking to buy stamps in bulk. 0431 477 988.

POST-WARHOL ART: I bought way too much soup. You watch me eat it, it becomes art.

POST-MODERNIST ART: Use two stamps and express. We need our modernism RIGHT NOW!

WANTED: New colour. Something reddy- PAINT BY NUMBERS! pinky that I can put on a mood ring when I’m with Damien “Damo feeling hungry yet content. ” Hirst! LIFE MODEL: available for Bat Mitzvahs, 21sts, stag parties, hen parties, life painting classes, getting naked and shaking around a 2 little, funerals.

BACK TO THE FUTURISM: Real doctors 2 1 need not apply. Fast car necessary. Time 1 1 travel unnecessary. 2 2

4 3 Wishes to acknowledge the creative 4 inspiration drawn from the following artists: 4 DAVID MACK, TOM WALKER, 4: Wood-panel brown! MICHAEL RICHARDSON, 3: Clean-chrome silver! 2: Formaldehyde beige!

NEADA BULSECO, SHANNON 1: Big-ass fucking shark.!

CONNELLAN AND JAMES COLLEY A: man on left is a woman a is left on man