FR IDAY, 2 ND NOVEMBER, 2018 – Keep the Cat Free – ISSUE 1703 Felix

The Student Newspaper of Imperial College London FR IDAY, 2 ND NOVEMBER, 2018 FELIX EDITORIAL CONTENTS EDITORIAL 2 This week's Felix is not thicc NEWS 3-4 jaba – Felix I can't end this without The Felix Team y D Ed COMMENT 5 oday marks the d ito thanking my incredible An r Editor-in-Chief first day in my Felix team: every single Andy Djaba POLITICS 6-7 run as Editor that one of the contributors • I've managed to who've helped get this Deputy Editor SCIENCE 8-9 Tget this part written on paper out even with one Joanna Wormald time - only because this day less to work with • TECH 10 week's edition was com- - can't say that I ever ap- News Editors piled on a Wednesday. A Joanna Wormald proached my degree with Frank Leggett MUSIC 11 bit early, I know, but it was this level of dedication but • either this or some of you I'm glad you're here to help Politics Editors ARTS 14-15 went without your weekly out! This week the paper Avirup Banerjee crosswords (and all the is shorter and is being sent Divyen Vanniasegaram BOOKS 16 other high quality articles to print on a Wednesday Juan Rubio Gorrochategui we write over here). because tomorrow I will • GAMES 17 Now some of you be at my friend Lauren's Comment Editors Aida Manzano Kharman might be wondering - why funeral. The support from Charlie Titmuss HANGMAN 20-21 is this edition of Felix a everyone around me in • bit light? A wise man once this tough time has been Science Editors INVESTMENT 22 said, "size doesn't matter". touching and overwhelm- Rosie Dutt Sometimes the best things ing and I can't thank you Eyad Abuelgasim PUZZLES 23 in life come in small all enough. Henry Alman packages. Sânziana Foia SPORTS 24 • As I'm writing this, Halloween is a good (since I do get paid to do Tech Editor Halloween ACC rages point to look back at how this), I thought it'd be wise Krithika Balaji on upstairs. Surprisingly settled into the new year to give my hot take on its Haaris Asghar not as rowdy as I was we are. Personally I'm not general direction. • expecting. Not that I'm for the whole thing, but I I must admit, it's a bit Arts Editors complaining, though if can respect the time and nice to get away from Claire Chan there were a massive fight effort people take into writing about facts for Helen Money-Kyrle that'd give me one more fashioning each costume. once and just giving my Vaishnavi Gnanananthan Felix Office • Beit Quad, Prince Consort article to fill up this issue. So far in these six opinion this week - you'd Books Editors Road issues I've overseen as think being a newspaper London, SW7 2BB JJ Cheng Editor, I've taken a com- editor, you'd get to fill • Tel: 020 79548072 “A wise man pletely new perspective of 32 pages with whatever Music Editors Email: [email protected] the Union than I had as a you're thinking: not the Simran Kukran felixonline.co.uk once said: student. It's a bit mad - it case unfortunately (bear Adrian LaMoury @feliximperial goes from being that place this in mind if any of you Henry Eshbaugh Asad Raja Printed by Mortons Media size doesn't you go to after your last are thinking of running for Group, Boston Road, • Horncastle, Lincolnshire matter” exam or when your room Felix Editor in the future). Film Editors booking falls through to Even more exciting is Registered Newspaper Mikhail Demtchenko ISSN 1040-0711 this whole almost-polit- gearing up to write for Sung Soo Moon ical system you have to my old section once again Aidan Chan Copyright (c) Felix 2017 navigate. In light of the (Music fztw); keep a look • many different articles out for that in next week's Markets Editor I've had to write on it edition. Tom Alston • Food Editors Eva Tadros Julia Dąbrowska • Felix is recruiting! Puzzles Editor Lisa Hey Lorenzo Silvestri • Sports Editor Imraj Singh Fergus Johnson • Cover Photo Joe O'Connell-Danes • Copy Editors Andrada Balmez Rhidian Thomas We want you – yes, you! We’re looking for writers, photographers, editors, illustrators, report- Shervin Sabeghi ers, computer experts and grammar nerds to join our team. No experience needed – we’ll teach Jonathan Roberts you everything you need to know. If you’re interested, send us an email on [email protected] 2 FELIX ISSUE 1703

NEWS [email protected] Unrest Over New Union Staff Food & Drink Policy

NEWS "They’re claiming that the policy is generous. Andy Djaba The discounts are 15% so, Editor-in-Chief on a £5.50 burger which we normally would have got for £3, we now get it for the price it was before Several Beit bars they increased the prices student staff havelast year." voiced concerns over Changes to staff break entitlements were also the new policy, which outlined in the policy. The st came into effect on 1 policy states: November "All staff (agency, per- manent and student) are entitled to a discounted mperial College staff meal whilst working Union's new "Staff a shift of at least 6 hours." Food & Drink This immediately Policy" has come raised concerns given that Iunder heavy criticism a standard morning shift by multiple members of runs from 11:15 am to Union bar staff. 5:00 pm, which falls 15 Staff were made aware minutes under the 6 hour of the new policy, which threshold and, thus, leaves was drawn up by Julia staff with no break and Mattingley, the Head of no food following a shift. Commercial Services, on Several staff members Monday 29th October. voiced further concerns FiveSixEight // Imperial College London The new policy, which about what they perceive policy has also been One of the Union's came into effect on 1st as unfair treatment, criticised. The policy alleged justifications for the Union has violated the that make these kinds of November and details lamenting the fact that states that workers will this is that "the kitchen Working Time Directive policies don’t discuss it a number of changes to they are no longer entitled be considered guilty of made a 40% profit margin for years, since the direc- with any of the student the rules surrounding to a free drink during theft or gross misconduct instead of 60%- that’s not tive requires a minimum staff. They don’t discuss the staff's entitlements to these morning shifts "even if they breach the policy. an acceptable difference of 11 hours between the it with the casual staff breaks and to discounted though they have to do a One Beit bars student staff and, because of that, we end of one shift and the or the supervisors or the food and drink during their 3 hour delivery, which is member explained: need to toughen up on it". start of the next. The managers and so these shifts, has proven widely a lot of heavy lifting and "On particularly busy It has also allegedly anonymous member changes just get imple- unpopular amongst the it takes up a lot of time shifts, kitchen will make been claimed that the of staff added: "if the mented without thinking Beit bars student staff. and is very intense." An surplus curly fries because reason for the lack of Union is going to go 'the about how it’s going to The aggrieved staff have anonymous Beit bars obviously everyone is margin is because "staff Working Time Directive impact us at all. No input pointed out multiple flaws student staff member coming in and ordering are basically not follow- is really important', they whatsoever. There’s been in the new policy. added, "so they do a lot in curly fries and burgers, ing the rules with food". should actually follow the a lot of upset and this is these morning shifts but, which come with curly The Union allegedly Working Time Directive just going to be a massive because it’s under 6 hours, fries. At the end of the further justifies this policy and not just the bits that kick in the teeth." “Everybody it’s not considered hard shifts, sometimes there’s by claiming “it obeys the benefit them for profit." The growing unrest work." In reality, a stipu- a box or two, not even a Working Time Directive”. A concerned student comes amongst claims hates this lation of this policy is that ridiculous amount, and One Beit bars student staff told Felix: "It underscores of alleged manipulative staff will no longer be able they’re saying that the member commented: "It some of the hypocrisy of abuse, emotional manip- policy!” to eat unless they work an kitchen aren’t allowed sets the minimum possi- discussions around the ulation and work place evening shift, which will to give that to staff; they ble break time you can set bar... should the Union bullying within the Beit then pass midnight. have to throw it in the under the Working Time have to be dragged into bars staff and following Key features of the bin. Even if the kitchen Directive. The reality is, treating its staff fairly?” a dispute surrounding policy include a 15% is closed. You can’t take on a 13 or 14 hour Sports In staff welfare paying Beit bars student discount off the full item “The entire it, it would be stealing. night, I’ll get a half hour meetings, there has staff the London Living retail price, which will It’s theft if there’s surplus break, if that! Which is been "general unrest". Wage, which is afforded subsequently see student attitude of chips and you want to the minimum amount they A member of staff com- to student bar staff at staff hit with a significant eat them... all food that can give... the fact that the mented: every other London price increase, while full the Union is isn’t eaten will have to be Union, which is notionally "There are very limited university. Last year, Ella time Union staff will see wrong!” thrown away." an organisation that cares benefits and the staff Rice (one of the student a decrease in the price of about welfare, is going generally feel unheard bar managers), started a their food. An anonymous for the bare minimum it and underappreciated. A petition on this which got Beit Bars student staff “They don't can offer its staff in terms big thing is that the people 900 signatures. Staff have member had the following The harsh and ag- of a break is dubious." It who are upstairs in the even allegedly discussed to say: gressive wording of the care about us!” should also be noted that Union and on this board taking strike action. 3 FR IDAY, 2 ND NOVEMBER, 2018 FELIX

NEWS [email protected] College declares support for increased pension contributions to settle long-running dispute

NEWS regulatory perspective. We are willing to increase Joanna Wormald our employer contri- Deputy Editor butions...to support the scheme.” Last November, the Imperial's response then-provost Professor to a pensions James Stirling said the consultation says the planned changes were “necessary” as the USS College is prepared was “not likely to be to pay more into staff sustainable”. UCU repre- pensions sentatives told Felix at the time that the College had mperial has stated acknowledged it could it is willing to in- afford to continue with crease its pension the USS but had chosen contributions as not to. Ia consultation over a According to one UCU long-running dispute member, the reaction closes. to the report has been Proposed changes to “broadly positive”. the University Superan- “We’ve said all along nuation Scheme (USS) the valuation is flawed and – the pension plan to finally someone is agree- which most lecturers in ing with us,” they said. the UK belong – sparked However, they added: strikes earlier this year. “The only snag is making The suggested move sure the recommendations would have linked the UCU members are optimistic about the recommendations but will they be implented? // Joseph O'Connell-Danes value of pensions to the performance of the stock “The College Analysis: How will costs have risen twice as assets total more than £1.5 market. Analysis suggest- the future of the USS quickly as pay. Senior billion. Other investments "We said all ed that the move could is supportive staff however are the most include £3.5 million in be funded? along the cost members up to 60% of the USS if it highly paid of any Russell the tobacco industry, £9 of their pension value. Any suggestions that Group university, averag- million in fossil fuels, valuation is Following an agreement is sustainable Imperial cannot afford to ing salaries of £280,000 £3.1 million in the arms between the University support its staff border on each. industry, and £16 million flawed; finally and College Union (UCU) from a risible given the College’s Imperial is rapidly in pharmaceuticals. and Universities UK spending habits. expanding its property The College also ben- someone is (UUK) a panel was set financial and Continuing with the portfolio (already one of efits from controversial up to review the valuation current USS plan would the largest in London) donors such as the Sackler agreeing with process that incorrectly regulatory cost Imperial no more and the College’s fixed Trust – linked to the US judged the USS to have a than 10% of its operating opioid crisis – and the us" £7.5 million deficit. perspective” surplus, which 2016-17 Atomic Weapons Estab- Released last month, figures put at almost “Any lishment. the report of the Joint £120 million. In the year Imperial has withheld 600,000 hours of teaching. Expert Panel (JEP) set prior, the College paid suggestions at least £280,000 from While many universities out five adjustments to be of the JEP are implement- £80 million into pensions striking staff. Deductions ringfenced the withheld considered in future valu- ed, which is not guaran- funds. Its profit over the that Imperial across all Russell Group money for student support ations. Chief among these teed at present.” same period was £78 cannot afford universities totaled over services or hardship funds, is a “fuller consideration Last week, the Finan- million. 10 million. More than Imperial is diverting the of the employers’ ability cial Times reported that 39 Since then, staff to support its 5,000 students, represent- money to the departments and willingness to bear finance experts had urged expenditure (i.e. the ed by legal firm Asserson, of those involved in the risk”. the USS to reject the JEP’s amount spent on salaries staff border joined a class action strikes. There have been Responding to a proposals or face “perni- and pensions) has fallen lawsuit calling for partial no guarantees that this consultation on the cious consequences”. The from 55% to 53% of on risible tuition fee refunds as will be used to benefit JEP’s findings, a College JEP defended its recom- total expenditure. Failure given College's compensation for missed students. statement said: “The mendations, saying they to keep up with the rate teaching time. Over 3,000 College is supportive of were “practical and reflect of inflation has seen the spending Imperial students signed a retaining the current... the unique, underlying average salary at Imperial petition to the same effect. USS if this is sustainable strength and longevity of fall 1.1% each year since habits” The UCU estimates that from a financial and the USS”. 2005 and London living students missed almost 4 FELIX ISSUE 1703

COMMENT [email protected] The State of the Union

Editor-in-Chief, Andy Djaba, gives his take on the state of the Union and the problematic culture at Imperial

COMMENT fallout from the “fiesta dash” event, ICURFC Andy Djaba felt aggrieved enough Editor-in-Chief to appeal the ensuing punishment. It says to me that they felt somehow few weeks ago, “hard done by” and that I wrote a News this punishment was too article about harsh. I’m not suggesting a concerning that the punishment was Aimage that emerged too lenient but, if I were showing Jarlath O’Hara, them, I would be counting the Managing Director of my lucky stars that the Imperial College London, punishment wasn’t more pictured beside a man severe. That, and the fact dressed in blackface. I was that so little of the conver- first made aware of the sation was geared towards image on 27th September the racist aspect of the If I’m honest, my initial incident, is indicative of reaction to the picture a culture of acceptance was to laugh. Not because of problematic behaviour I found anything par- that is festering in the ticularly funny or didn’t Union. appreciate the seriousness However, it’s not all of the situation but be- doom and gloom! College cause, unfortunately, this and the Union are launch- sort of problematic be- ing multiple initiatives to haviour from people that The Union faces a crucial period // Imperial College London tackle the problems with should know better has the culture at Imperial, become all too prevalant a as he sees fit. However, in this situation. Although quality and, in particular, act. including the Race feature in our daily lives. I I thought the official it is an unfortunate situa- race. In the past, College and Equality Charter and the often feel so helpless that response of the Union tion that Jarlath has found The statement from the Union have benefited Equality, Diversity and all I can do is laugh. I was and the Board of Trustees himself in and it could be the Board of Trustees from having a somewhat Inclusion Act. However present at the 5th October to the emergence of the argued that there is a con- ended with, “the Board... apolitical student body these initiatives require meeting between Jarlath, image was particularly versation to be had about have satisfied themselves and, as a result, problem- difficult and often uncom- Rob Tomkies, the Union interesting. Jill Finney, compromising historical that Jarlath has no racist atic behaviour seems to fortable conversations President, and concerned the Head of the Board images, this should not intent whatsoever”. I’m repeatedly go unchecked and open discourse about students who had seen of Trustees, began her be the Union’s primary actually keen to move the or is excused away as inequality and attitudes the image; six of whom statement on behalf of focus. It screams to me conversation away from being “tradition.” Whether at Imperial. With Black are BME students. At this the Board of Trustees by that the Union is missing Jarlath because I feel that, it be the Rugby team’s History Month drawing meeting, Jarlath was re- saying: “It is deeply unfor- the point. when discussing issues of “fiesta dash” fiasco, the to a close, now is as good peatedly urged by almost tunate that Jarlath found However, I can’t say race, too much energy is fact that, as recently as a time as ever to have everyone present to extend himself photographed in I’m surprised. From my focused on the individuals 2016, the Royal School of these conversations and the apology made to these circumstances over experience, the Union involved rather than the Mines held fresher “slave to address exactly why those present to the wider 12 years ago. Compro- often misses the point. My wider issue at hand. This is auctions” or the fact that so many BME Imperial student body through the mising historical images opinions of the Union have what I feel the Union has “The 15s”, the Women’s students feel disillusioned release of a public state- are increasingly a feature primarily been formed done with their response Tie Club, is so-called and disenfranchised with ment/ acknowledgement. of our daily lives and it by the four years I spent here and it should be because it was founded the Union. However, Jarlath declined is incumbent upon all of here as an undergraduate noted that the Union is in 2015 (in contrast, “The In the next phase of to do so and, subsequently, us to ensure we do not student, as opposed to the not in the best position 22s”, a male Tie Club, was the Union’s development there was a general air of participate or fall victim few months I’ve spent as to judge “racist intent”. founded in 1922), there we have to consider the dissatisfaction following to them.” an employee of the Union. Racism is not binary. As are far too many examples future. Otherwise the the meeting. I would argue that this Although I would say my we have seen here, having from recent memory of Union runs the risk of per- I have no qualms with response was inadequate opinions are changing, “no racist intent” and even times at which the Union petuating a culture of in- Jarlath’s refusal to issue and even bordered on tone I’ve generally had a quite committing yourself to has aligned itself with differnce which is counter a public apology; he is deaf. I think it’s particu- negative view of the equality does not preclude frankly unacceptable be- productive to their ideals well within his rights to larly telling that Jarlath is Union, especially when you from being part of or haviour. I think it is telling of inclusivity. deal with the situation being painted as a victim it comes to issues of ine- being complicit in a racist that, following the public 5 FELIX ISSUE 1703 FR IDAY, 2 ND NOVEMBER, 2018 FELIX

POLITICS [email protected] POLITICS [email protected] into being straight with cancel the 14th amend- Gritty’s Field Guide to the American Midterm funding taken from AIDS “The point ment - jus soli, or citi- treatment? Maybe we zenship from birth in the could bring back lynching, is that we’re country. This has been Elections: It’s Gonna Be Rough, Folks just this one time. looking at a well-established (and People are still sen- well-tested) law since sitive to the id-pol case very different the 1890s and has its Left Forum’s last surviving committee member and chief lockpicker gives his views on the against Trump; it’s a valid roots in being one of the argument worth listening political ones passed because of inevitable travesty that will be the outcome of the American midterms. to, and it’s gonna move the whole slavery thing. voters to the polls. landscape Obviously Trump doesn’t Then again, there [...] but if [the like the position - so, he POLITICS “Send all are some not-so-good thinks he can write an features of the election Dems] make executive order to trample angry letters that definitely don’t work the Constitution (hahaha - Gritty to comment in the Dems’s favor. For the same it doesn’t work like that). Left Forum Chair example, voting machines There’s also the editor Charlie in Texas have been mistake as in bullshit caravan story. It’s changing Beto votes to 2016, they are better as a jazz standard, Titmuss, Ted Cruz (and somewhat IMO. God, I hope this elcome one vice versa, though bound to lose gasbag implodes. and all to the please” most of the reports I’ve continuing heard suggest it’s going in 2020.” And the rest of the shitshow around 40% now - higher majority towards Ted). Republicans? Wsaga that is the American than usual, but most of Election machines are rent, do you have the time political spectacle. When the people pulling that ludicrously compromised; or energy to drive an hour Cowardly. Absolutely you last tuned in in 2016, lever foam at the mouth, Georgian infrastructure to the next city over just cowardly. Apparently the Ur-fascist narrowly so take it with a grain of isn’t even supported by to pick up your special they’ve been begging the beat out the neoliberal salt). His administration the vendor any more. Ger- voter ID (in some states, Democrats not to do any cancellation of the future, is objectively the worst in rymandering also affects not even your driver’s digging, because they and we’ve been on a wild American history. We’re House races, providing license is sufficient). This know in their hearts the ride for the last two years living a nightmare that a systemic disadvantage brings about a dispropor- Dems will pick the House as Republican majorities never seems to end (has it to Democrat voters (to tionate turnout - the few back up, and it’ll be a in Congress and a stacked really been near two years the extent that they need percentage points needed, bad time for Rohrabacher SCOTUS run rampant. Kick the assholes out 2018. // Wikimedia already?). ~55% of the popular vote in many cases, to eke an (R-CA) and anyone like In this piece, Felix Consequently, there has to take the House). election (or at least to him. They have skeletons picks apart the whys and been a massive surge in And there’s the usual improve your odds). in the closet and that Sanders cheering the wrecking of the neolibs. Blessed image. // Wikimedia whens; candidates and Governors in a handful of two years ago Cruz was Democrats on average, early voting. Early voting voter suppression efforts... Take the race for closet will be pried open. races to watch, forecasting states are up for election, thought to be presidential “538 is calling with an 80% chance of among young people is governor of Georgia - the blues, and it becomes and polling, and what this as are some locals (town material, or at least by picking up anywhere up 500% in Georgia, with What’s this about Democrat Stacey Abrams What’s next? much more difficult for The Dems will oppose critique of neoliberalism. all means down the line. selectman, or whatever - degenerates). The race a +39 seat gain between 19 and 59 seats. historic highs hit around voter suppression? is subject to the rules set Republicans to impede Trump; that much is This is not to say the Firstly - where do we nobody cares). These folks is a toss-up. Others, This will get us there. the country; turnout is by secretary of state Brian The Republicans will investigations (into, for certain. Whether or not cultural positions are bad; get this stuff, anyways? often turn into presidential like Andrew Janz (v. for Democrats Republicans, on the projected to be up 150% Voter fraud is not a Kemp. Her opponent? take the Senate. example, emoluments they’ll split like bad mayo this is only to say that the The Cook Political Report candidates, but there’s not incumbent Devin Nunes, [in the House] other hand, are expected over the 2014 midterms big deal. There were four Brian Kemp. One bus full Besides the obvious clause violations - of is another. We’re in for a political basis is incom- in very high regard, as with much interesting (at least R-CA-22) have run fairly to pick up a seat or two (mirroring the 2016 elec- cases of voter fraud in the of black seniors heading maintained control over which Trump is very, very raucous few years, folks. plete, and the cancellation Sabato’s Crystal Ball and, since Cynthia Nixon lost competitive races (though on average, in the Senate. This is tions, 50% of the 18-to-29 2016 elections. Unfortu- towards the polls was every branch of govern- guilty). of debate on these issues obligatorily, FiveThirtyE- her bid in the primaries to Nunes’s real opponent somewhat unfortunate - demographic voted, as nately, this does not stop intercepted by the police. ment, a Republican House In terms of the Dem- What’s this about the forces individuals to seek ight (and if you’re a fan Andrew Cuomo in NY). is the Fresno Bee). Un- with an 80% slim margins are always opposed to the pitiful Fox News from adopting One “exact match” ID would be a nightmare; ocrats - bellweather Dems? alternatives - like Trump. of satire, good ol’ Chapo The really spicy races fortunately, Janz doesn’t better when whippping 19.9% turnout in the 2014 the concept into their law he passed threatens it will be read as tacit primaries in MA and NY Trump’s nomination Trap House). Felix only are for the House. 35 see to be able to pull off chance of votes isn’t really a thing midterms) - a good bell- rhetoric. This is a pretext to suppress 50,000 voters. approval of the status quo, showed that the progres- Obviously the centrist was a perfect storm; the gets one issue a week, Senate seats are up, but the balance - the district picking up - but as long as the gain weather for turnout here, to carry out broad vot- Jimmy fucking Carter and McConnell, Trump, sive wing of the party position has hit the election could’ve been folks; best hunting for up- they’re mostly held by is currently forecast as is small, it’s manageable, considering anti-Trump er-suppression efforts - in stepped out of retirement & Co. will be more em- is gradually picking up bumpers. Nobody takes had if Clinton had put to-date info elsewhere. Dems, and hence there’s likely R. anywhere especially with control of sentiment is concentrated the form of stringent and to tell Kemp to resign. boldened than ever, and steam; as the districts are id-pol rhetoric without forth better ideological First up: I’m endorsing not much chance at all to The Republicans are the House. in young voters. surprisingly-early voter Kemp’s response has give even more license dyed-blue, we will greet a support for socio-eco- projects, as opposed to a straight-Dem ballot. break the majority (538: 1 their same loathsome between 19 Another factor is the registration deadlines, been to dogwhistle about to those working in bad small but growing cohort nomic programs and her bullshit appeal to They’re practically Tories in 7 chance as of writing). selves. “DON’T INTER- Will the blue wave prevalence of identity ludicrous voter ID laws, “outside agitators” - faith to prevent mean- of millennial candidates projects such as nation- realpolitik. Not exactly anyways - at least the bad However, Democrats RUPT ME, JASON!” and 59 seats.” actually come about? politics in the current and closing ballot boxes familiar to anyone who ingful investigation into - who even describe them- alized infrastructure inspirational. ones (i.e. most of them). are projected to take the Cruz snapped at a debate political climate - with in cities with majority-mi- studied the Civil Rights the wrongdoings of the selves as socialists! While banking, Medicare for all, The point is that we’re Don’t @ me, have you House (538: 6 in 7). moderator asking him The NY Times estimates There’s the regular ol’ just cause, considering nority individuals (e.g. Movement, because this present administration. the libs on top (Pelosi, expanded Social Security, looking at a very different seen the news lately? about civility in politics. (among races in districts opposition surge (folks the present administra- Dodge City, Kansas - a is how leaders would Current forecasts say this Schumer, et al) want to and free/cheaper univer- political landscape in the As always, send all How’s it been going? They’re dog-whistling not dyed in the wool) 15 content with the status tion. For example, trans town with 30,000 Latino speak about black people eventuality is unlikely, maintain their neoliberal sity tuition. Without these next few months, one angry correspondence to racists and are more de- seats that lean Dem, held quo are not as motivated rights do not matter in folks and not one single without really speaking but the prospect alone is hegemony, the narrative programs, individuals are where the Dems will have comment editor Charlie Interestingly. Candi- cidedly pro-Trump than mostly by Republicans, to vote as those who the slightest to the current polling place). about black people. So rather bleak. Additionally, is shifting, as it must; left living precarious lives; much more ground for cri- Titmuss, please (and, dates like Beto O’Rourke ever. I guess this is how and about 30 tossups - all don’t like what’s going administration. Coupled Obviously, these much so, in fact, that the the success of voter sup- running another centrist they become isolated, tiquing Trump, and much while you’re at it, get a have given candidates like a cult of personality is Republicans. There are on). Couple this with with fiery rhetoric, the efforts are kept somewhat term has its own fucking pression tactics remains neoliberal in 2020 would atomized - they begin to more power to enforce it. life). Ted Cruz (R-TX) runs for established? another 29 lean-R seats anti-Trump sentiment and current political climate is hush-hush (nobody Wikipedia article. to be seen - the Abrams- be suicide. Candidates are believe that there is no But if they make the same their money - literally. that are already R; the you have a storm on your experienced as an existen- wants to be known to act Kemp race, for example, beginning to posture for coherent policy option to mistake as in 2016, they So what’s happening O’Rourke raised lots of More macro-view plz. Dems should then have hands. tial threat to trans people. anti-democratically, after How is Trump is currently in a dead heat. the race already; Sanders rectify their woes, as none are bound to lose in 2020. anyways? dosh, and Republicans the mileage they need Remember: this is a Extend that - do you guys all), but the idea is to reacting? If the Dems take is the clear frontrunner, are seriously discussed in ended up spending more Okay; Democrats need to pick up the majority. president who hit his- remember Mike Pence as give an edge in marginal Congress, though - all with others (Biden, the upper echelons of the Any parting words? Congressional and in the state than they to pick up 23 seats for a FiveThirtyEight is calling torically-low approval the guy who wanted to cases. If you’re working Well, Trump’s new of a sudden, committee Bloomberg, Booker) political establishment. gubernatorial elections. anticipated (remember, majority in the House. a +39 seat gain for the ratings (he’s hovering at electroshock gay people two full-time jobs to make thing is promising to control will be passed to lining up. This is the standard This is bullshit. 6 7 FELIX ISSUE 1703

SCIENCE [email protected] The Trolley Problem: What Would You Choose? Would you kill one person to save five people? With the increasing popularity of self-driving cars, the famous ‘trolley problem’ has turned from a philosophical riddle into a real issue awaiting a solution.

SCIENCE online game designed by participants. However, lives of other animals; norms in an emergency. gagement is the key to the researchers. In a series the only patterns in moral sparing the lives of many Moreover, public en- building up the public’s Paula Rowińska of potential situations on decision making they people rather than a few; trust in the new technolo- Science Writer the road (mostly sudden found were geographical and preserving the lives “Preferences gy – a necessary condition break failures), they had and cultural. For example, of the young, rather than to adopt autonomous esearchers from to choose the lesser of two citizens of “eastern” older people,” is how are for sparing vehicles on a large scale. the MIT Media evils: for example, if it is countries (a term defined Edmond Awad, the lead So far “public interest in Lab’s Scalable morally more acceptable by the researchers, refer- author of the paper pub- humans over the platform surpassed Cooperation to kill a man in the car ring broadly to Asia) were lished in Nature, summa- animals, the our wildest expectations,” Rgroup have surveyed over or a woman with a child less likely to save young rised the results. reported Iyad Rahwan, 2 million citizens from crossing the street. people over the elderly The researchers might lives of many the leader of MIT Media over 200 countries about As well as about 40 than participants from use the data gathered Lab’s Scalable Cooper- morally difficult deci- million recorded choices, elsewhere. in the ‘Moral Machine’ over few, and ation group. If you also sions that autonomous scientists gathered a lot “The most emphatic project to help engineers would like to browse or vehicles might have to of demographic data global preferences in the program self-driving the young over even create possible road make. Participants played such as the age, gender, survey are for sparing the cars to operate according the old.” situations, visit http:// ‘Moral Machine’, an or education level of the lives of humans over the to particular societal moralmachine.mit.edu/. Store Glacier: storing water? Recent research from Stanford University has shed light on a phenomenon: liquid water stored in pockets within solid ice. This discovery has important implications for predicting sea level rises under climate change – rises that will impact the lives of billions of people.

SCIENCE more accurately predict meltwater from reaching how melting land-ice will the base. How the ice melts Photini Knoyle impact our planet. and where the meltwater Science Writer The researchers from flows will contribute to Stanford used ice-pene- how a glacier responds to y now, many trating radar to identify future climatic conditions, of us are aware density variations within which will impact the pre- of the 5th the Store Glacier in West dicted timeline for future Greenland. Regions of sea level rises. BIntergovernmental Panel higher density indicated Previous research on Climate Change trapped water, and higher has focused on surface (IPCC) report, which density regions correlated changes to glacial land- has attracted a storm of with glacial areas that had scapes, whilst the Stanford media attention since its recently been melting. study offers insight into publication last month. From this correlation, the more diverse glacial melt The report considers the researchers inferred that mechanisms. With around environmental conse- meltwater had trickled 40% of the global human quences of many possible into, and become trapped population living within climatic scenarios. These within fractures in the ice. 100km of coasts, the need consequences include Meltwater is known to for accurate sea level pre- global warming-induced impact glacial movement dictions has never been sea level rises, a product by flowing to the base greater. The Stanford of the thermal expansion where it contributes to study demonstrates that a of sea water and melting basal lubrication and a more in-depth approach land-ice running into the An aerial view of the Store Glacier in Northwest Greenland // Lawrence Hislop, subsequent increase in to studying and modelling seas. However, there is http://www.grida.no/resources/1947 glacial sliding. The si- land-ice melting will be much discourse over the phoning-off of meltwater required for climate sci- extent and rate of future melting land-ice. Recent complexity with land-ice mechanism has not been into pockets within the ice entists to make better pre- rises, partly due to insuf- research from Stanford melting: the phenomenon previously studied, and may modify this process, dictions of future sea level ficient knowledge of the University provides of liquid water trapped should be considered in by either delaying or rises, and help us prepare mechanisms underlying insight into a possible within glaciers. This future models to help us entirely preventing the for what the future brings. 8 8 FR IDAY, 2 ND NOVEMBER, 2018 FELIX

SCIENCE [email protected] Bombs dropped during WWII had effects even at the “edge of space”

SCIENCE between 80km and 580km above the surface of Marie Jones Earth. It is formed due to Science Writer atmospheric absorption of X-rays and ultraviolet light orld War II from the sun, and is very is widely sensitive to solar activity known such as the emission to be the of particles carrying Wmost devastating and energy, high-speed solar deadly war in the history winds and coronal mass of mankind. However, ejection. These events the study of its impacts can cause variances in An ionogram recorded in Slough at 8.30am, the morning after the Blitz began // UK Solar System Data Centre beyond Earth is very the concentration of ions recent and could play a and electrons in the ion- Research Centre in the constituent particles, de- to separate the impact intense storm on the sun. major role in improving osphere, and thus cause UK city of Slough, to creased – which lead to a of wartime raids from More accurate knowledge modern technologies. In it to become electrified. the time and dates of 152 drop in the concentration those of natural seasonal of the ionosphere and the a study published last The study shows that important Allied bombing of electrons. To describe variability.” Furthermore, effects of disturbances month, professor of astro- the bombing raids were raids over France and the process mechanisti- could thus help develop physics Chris Scott and powerful enough to Germany during the same cally, energy released by prediction models useful historian Patrick Major periodically decrease the period. They found that the shockwaves heated “Over the for our modern technolo- from the University of concentration of electrons changes in the ionosphere the ionosphere, which course of the gies. Reading reveal that the in the ionosphere, which were occurring after then enabled the electrons While the effects of shockwaves produced by could have interfered with these raids, which were to gain enough kinetic war, Allied the bombing raids on the Allied bombs dropped on the radio communications meticulously recorded by energy to escape from the ionosphere resulted in no European cities during at low frequencies during the German authorities ionosphere. forces dropped long-term consequences WWII reached the edge the conflict. and in the Royal Air Force Although temporary for the atmosphere, the of space, and temporarily The researchers mission logbooks. Its reductions in the con- more than destruction they caused weakened the ionosphere. compared daily measure- “critical frequency,” or in centration of electrons 2.75 million on the surface of Earth The ionosphere is a ments of the ionosphere other words the frequency is usually due to the sun, remain indelible marks thick band in the outer collected between 1943 of the radio waves reflect- or are caused by natural tons of TNT, in the world’s landscapes, atmosphere situated and 1945 by the Radio ed by the ionosphere’s phenomena on Earth such towns, and also in the as earthquakes, volcanic equivalent to memory of survivors. The eruptions and lightning, historian involved with “it is astonishing to see 185 Hiroshima the study, Patrick Major, how the ripples caused H-bombs.” reminds us of some of by man-made explosions their experiences, such can affect also the edge as “aircrew involved in of space,” say the authors. the Allied four-engine the raids reporting having The paper reminds us that planes could carry bombs their aircraft damaged by over the course of the four times heavier than the bomb shockwaves, war, the Allied air forces the two-engine German despite being above the dropped more than 2.75 planes, which caused recommended height” million tons of TNT – the greater disruption and or “residents under the equivalent of 185 Hiro- produced a clearer signal. bombs routinely recalling shima H-bombs – and This research may also being thrown through the that “each raid released have a significant impact air by the pressure waves the energy of at least 300 on solving present-day of air mines exploding, lightning strikes.” scientific problems. and window casements One may wonder why Understanding the effect and doors would be blown the study didn’t focus of manmade atmospher- off their hinges.” on German bombing ic disturbances could Studying the past to raids which occurred improve communications understand the present is closer to Slough, where and global positioning one message to take from the measurements were systems (GPS) technol- this pioneering work. We taken, such as the well- ogy, which rely on the should never forget “the known “London Blitz” ionosphere. For example, images of neighbourhoods which took place between airplanes had to come across Europe reduced to September 1940 and back to their base in rubble due to wartime air May 1941. As C. Scott October 2003 due to GPS raids, lasting reminder of explains, “this bombing inaccuracies, which were the destruction that can was more or less contin- caused by disruptions in be caused by man-made The bombing of Le Havre, France, on 10th September 1944 // British National Archives uous, making it difficult the ionosphere after an explosions”. 9 FELIX ISSUE 1703

TECH [email protected] Welcoming the most powerful iPad Pro yet With it’s all-screen design, Face ID, second generation Apple Pen and more, this is said to be the most advanced version of the iPad Pro

TECH cord and you sometimes weren’t sure whether it “The second- Krithika Balaji was charging or not? Well, Tech Editor the second-generation generation Apple Pencil attaches to nother iPad was the iPad Pro magnetically Apple Pencil introduced this and charges wirelessly attaches to week - the iPad while doing so. Now, Pro. It isn’t, you can also tap with the the iPad Pro Ahowever, just another iPad pencil more easily than as this is said to have the before thanks to a new magnetically biggest changes ever and touch sensor built into it. will push the functionality There is also a new Smart and charges of these devices farther Keyboard Folio with a wirelessly than ever before. streamlined design that’s This model has a adjustable for increased while doing 11-inch and 12.9-inch versatility. Liquid Retina displays to “The new iPad Pro is s o.” the edges of iPad Pro. It a huge step forward for also has an “A12X Bionic powerful, creative, mobile chip with next-generation computing... There has The new Liquid Retina The new iPad pro // wccftech Neural Engine in iPad never been a mobile display in iPad Pro is made Pro”, which outperforms device anything like the of precision-milled glass, viewing experience. matter if you are sitting and Memoji. most PC laptops. It offers new iPad Pro; it has a advanced pixel masking, Face ID, which is or standing while using The iPad Pro, Apple a new “USB-C connector, gorgeous edge-to-edge new backlight design and thought to be the “most the iPad. This is because Pencil and Smart Gigabit-class LTE, and Liquid Retina display that sub-pixel antialiasing. secure facial authentica- it takes advantage of the Keyboard Folio are up to 1TB of storage to curves into the corners… This makes it the brightest tion system in any tablet TrueDepth camera system available to order starting enable powerful new and more, all packed into and most color accurate or computer”, has been to accurately map and from the 30th of October mobile workflows”. a thinner device that has iPad display, with wide installed in the new iPad recognize the face. It also and are set to hit the Remember how you all-day battery life and color support, True Tone Pro for the first first time. can be used for Apple Pay, stores from Wednesday, had to charge the Apple is 25 percent smaller in and anti-reflective coating It is designed to work to gain access to secure November 7th. Pencil with the charging volume.” for a natural, accurate in any orientation, no apps and enable Animoji

Artificial Intelligence for Social Good Google.org, the charitable arm of tech giant Google, has launched a call for ideas to bring impact out of Artificial Intelligence

TECH organisations would not with scenarios where it applications as well where a certain distance in ad- Monday, would hope to only receive funding, but is difficult to tell how human judgement plays dressing this concern, but address these concerns, Haaris Asghar also support in imple- research in AI may be an important role. This with recent more powerful while not compromising Tech Editor menting their ideas. This used in the future. For is because of the nature machine learning tech- on Google’s commitment support would be tailored example, the military of AI as a black box niques, the inner workings to the advancement in use oogle.org is an to the organisation and have shown interest in that does something the can tend to be spun into of AI, which it sees itself arm of Google could include coaching artificial intelligence for user doesn’t necessarily a more opaque web that as having an important that aims to from Google employees autonomous weapons, in understand. Biases within would be impossible role in. As Jeff Dean, the support non- with expertise or experi- initiatives such as Project the training datasets used to decipher even with head of Google’s Brain AI Gprofits through grants and ence in AI, and credit and Maven. Facial and image may lead to implications transparent data. New division said, “It’s really contributing employee consulting from Google recognition powered by in the outputs, and this methods are being tested important for us to show volunteer hours. The $25 Cloud. AI may have applications makes use of AI in law and developed for giving what the potential for AI million pool announced A wave of ethical in surveillance. or medicine, for example, some kind of an insight to and machine learning recently aims to support ambiguity has recently While these topics are worrying to many experts end users on the workings can be, and to lead by any ideas of situations swept over Silicon Valley, relatively controversial and organisations. of these systems. example.” where AI could be realis- as Google and other tech from their very nature, AI Publishing data and The AI for Social Good tically applied. Winning giants have been faced has its doubters in other algorithms involved goes program, announced on FELIX ISSUE 1703

MUSIC [email protected] Pieces of a Man is introspective, indulgent, and inaccessible Despite lavish production, the latest effort by Mick Jenkins never really gets off the ground. Loosely narrating the fragments and facets of a person’s life, Jenkins’ jigsaw seems to be missing a piece.

MUSIC coherent message), which is nowhere near as good PIECES OF A MAN are, compared to his as his best sung tracks previous effort, extremely (see: ‘Drowning’, ‘Spread linear and uneventful. Love’). Thirty seconds into most Adding to the tedium Artist: Mick Jenkins. Label: songs, you will have heard created by a lack of Cinematic. Top Tracks: everything the instrumen- choruses or beat switch- Soft Porn; Barcelona; Plain tal is going to do; there ups, every rapped song Clothes; Smoking Song. For are no interesting beat adopts a very similar Fans Of: Joey Bada$$; J switches or compelling tone and tempo. Unlike Cole; Chance The Rapper. choruses. on his breakout mixtape 53 minutes The Water[s], which had tracks where Mick Alex Large “53 minutes of spanned various emotions Music Writer and levels of intensity, songs that all here every song adopts a have the same laid back, quietly bragga- wo years after docious style, as if he has his ambitious tone really nothing to prove. Whilst but inconsistent this fits the smooth jazz and occasion- drag” rap production and makes Tally preachy release The this album relaxing to have Healing Component, on in the background, 53 Mick Jenkins has dropped This is the primary minutes of songs that all a new album, Pieces of a issue with Pieces, and the have the same tone really Man. Four singles were reason it feels even longer drag if you’re paying released prior to the al- than its 53 minute run- attention. bum’s unveiling, but the time: a lack of compelling Perhaps most dis- best two of these were song structure. Mick still appointing of all is the inexplicably not included brings incredibly precise, lack of interesting topics on it. This is frustrating, honed flows and smart and motifs. It’s hinted as these (‘Bruce Banner’, lyricism, but the songs at occasionally that the That’s seven years bad luck // Cinematic ‘What Am I To Do’) are bore you. Halfway through central theme is that you far more compelling than the album I felt exhausted only ever see pieces of a him), b) how he brings the It really can’t be over- this isn’t what I look for any song that actually and in desperate need of person (which is intuitive truth, or c) how hard he stated just how linear and from Mick. I want songs made the cut. a standout moment that, works on his writing. But repetitive these songs are, that make me stop and Mick is known for sadly, never came. This in no song does this hard and how the complete think, interesting and intricate wordplay and is in stark contrast to his “It really can’t work and truth-bringing lack of standout moments left-field production, smooth, jazzy production, last album, where songs seem evident; despite his makes the album feel and choruses that I can which Pieces of a Man like ‘Drowning’ and ‘The be overstated brags about educating sing in the shower. The has in spades, along Healing Component’ us, I can find no solid or Healing Component was with a more organic and featured layered and just how linear profound messages in any “Smooth and a slight step down from laid-back sonic palette climactic structures, and and repetitive of these songs. This is in The Water[s], but still than found on any of his gave the album a sense stark contrast to his last undemanding contained some excellent previous work. However, of unpredictability and these songs album, where songs like tracks, whereas there what is missing from this variety. ‘Spread Love’ delivered a background isn’t a single cut on this album, which was an Whilst his previous are” sincere and brave message music” album that could stand important component of album had a few bad (sentimentality not being shoulder-to-shoulder what made his previous songs, which Pieces something you often find with Mick’s best. Whilst works great, is compel- avoids by having a con- and not particularly in modern hip-hop), or like a slog. Whilst every undeniably well produced ling song structures and sistent quality, its highs profound), but there is no ‘What Am I To Do’, a song is technically well and performed, the lack catchy, memorable hooks. outstripped anything song where Mick dives single released before this performed and produced, of a coherent theme, What is presented on this offered here. There are no into this deeply, despite album which addressed there isn’t a single one engaging song topics or new album is a set of standouts. ‘Plain Clothes’ the album title. In fact, police brutality and is far that I would pick out and catchy melodies leaves fourteen tracks (and three offers a change of pace most songs centre around more hard-hitting and play on its own; they all the album feeling hollow supposedly profound skits from the linear beats as Mick a) bragging about thought-provoking than blend together, creating and ultimately forgettable. that seem unfocused and Mick swaps his rapping how real he is (compared any song that was actually smooth and undemanding fail to combine into a for soulful singing, but it to all the fakers around included here. background music – but 11 IC Skate Soc FELIX ISSUE 1703

ARTS [email protected] Company Sondheim’s classic gets a facelift - and it’s absolutely beautiful.

ARTS

Where? Gielgud Theatre introducing a gay couple When? Till 30 Mar 2019 into the play. This works How Much? From £14.75 wonderfully, as it makes the play beautifully Ozbil Ege Dumenci inclusive without feeling Arts Writer forced. Bobbie’s three love interests are also s I walked gender-swapped, paving to my seat the way for interesting in Gielgud yet valuable commentary Theatre, the about dating, and the Amain worry I had was different dating behaviour whether swapping the gen- that is (but should not be) ders in this classic musical expected from men and would be anything more women. The couple of than an audience-grabbing David and Jenny is role- gimmick. flipped, portraying the Well, it did work. I image of a bread-winning was there, praying that wife and a stay-at-home it would add more than dad, once again, compli- advertising value to the cating the previously ste- show. reotypical picture of the The play explores roles of men and women different stages of mar- in marriages. riages from Bobbie’s Company is credited to perspective through a be one of the first “concept What do you want to get married for? // Brinkhoff Mogenburg series of vignettes. It’s musicals”. Despite not Bobbie’s (Bobby in Sond- yet absolutely tasteful. a great Bobbie, whose dream sequence, where written yesterday. heim’s original play) 35th LuPone, who previously subtle performance makes Bobbie sees flashes of The staging matches birthday, and her friends, “Thanks to undertook the role in the it clear that the show isn’t what her life would be as a the colourful posters that her “married friends”, as 2011 New York Phil- about Bobbie, but about married woman. A Bobbie adorn all of the walls, with Bobbie (Rosalie Craig) the reversal of harmonic Concert, nails love and life through her who’s pregnant. A Bobbie moving giant set pieces likes to put it, throw a the role of Joanne and eyes. She is relatable, who’s just given birth. forming rooms for the surprise party to celebrate genders, this delivers a multi-faceted and not for one second Several Bobbies-of-what- action to take place. They the occasion. All her is no longer performance. does she seem greedy or could-be fill the stage. also make way for some friends want to know the ‘Getting Married unsatisfied. This is both intimidating visual illusionism with same thing, though. When a show about Today’, a monster of a The overall cast is also and wonderful to see, as clear Alice In Wonder- is Bobbie going to get song to perform, and a great. Mel Giedroyc and it gives the most clear land references, driving married? a man with definite highlight of the Gavin Spokes, who have glimpse into Bobbie’s home the point that it’s Thanks to the reversal show, is performed skil- amazing comedic timing head than anything else in all, in fact, in Bobbie’s of genders, there is commitment fully by Jonathan Bailey and brilliant chemistry, the play. head. Speaking of which, more at stakes than just issues” who is pitch perfect, carry the roles of Sarah It is also important to Bobbie clearly stands out peer-pressure; female both vocally and with his and Harry perfectly. point out that the play in her red dress, reinforc- Bobbie’s biological clock acting. Originally written The play is directed looks incredible. The ing how different she is, is also racing throughout having a linear plot, not for a female character, it skilfully by Marianne impact of developing and how different she the play. This is no longer only is it easy to follow, is refreshing to watch a Elliott (Angels in America, technology is clear, and feels from all her friends. a show about a man with the different vignettes male character get cold War Horse, The Curious it makes a fifty year old Her married friends. commitment issues. It is connect together nicely to feet before a wedding. Incident of the Dog in the play feel fresh as if it was In summary, Company so much more. Just this feel like a cohesive piece. The lyrics are hilarious, Night-Time), who trans- not only matches the alone makes this change This is greatly helped by but Bailey’s performance forms the play from being “a fifty year expectations, but,w for worthwhile. It is not a Sondheim’s timeless com- truly elevates the song. simply through Bobbie’s the most part, massively ground-breaking change, positions, which are, at However, it is worth eyes, to being in her mind old play ... exceeds them. It is both but it makes the play feel times, absolutely genius. noting that, at times, the as she explores, examines entertaining and heart fresh. ‘Ladies Who Lunch’, number relies heavily on and compares her current fresh as if it breaking, with music to Bobbie is not the only performed masterfully by gimmicks, which make life to what could be if she die for. Pretty darn close character whose gender the iconic Patti LuPone the number even funnier, was married. was written to being perfect, Company has been changed. Amy is just the right degree but rather distracting. One particular scene is yesterday” promises to be a wonder- has now become Jamie, of resentful and bitter, Rosalie Craig makes worth mentioning here; a ful trip to the theatre. 14 FELIX ISSUE 1703

ARTS [email protected]

Hypnotic circles...?// Paolo Ceribelli Look into our paintings... you will love art // Caroline Preston En vogue: The Least Pretentious Art Fair in London Landscapes, cityscapes and concentric circles are all the rage this autumn at the Affordable Art Fair in Battersea.

ARTS the likes of Damien Hirst SOAS student you fancy. theme of circles is so which featured such eye all the way through to Stand out artists from “In general, strong this year but is candy as Bui Van Hoan’s Gautam fresh graduates from the the first group this year convinced it’s possible poignant monochrome country’s top art schools. include Jim Farrant and some more to somehow link it to Vietnamese riverscapes Kambhampati As is often the case with David Axtell’s nostalgic Brexit and leaves this as and Lieu Nguyen Huong Arts Writer something that has such a portrayals of seaside diversity in an exercise for the reader. Duong’s breathtakingly broad remit, it is really a escapes (particularly both subject Other themes from this pretty cherry blossoms. The Affordable Art Fair fair in two halves: that of good for that affordable year included lone trees, All in all, the AAF is a showcase of all of the the landscapes, cityscapes, Cornish beach house matter and cartoonish cities, and remains an excellent way best new artwork availa- riverscapes, beachscapes, you’ll be owning), Guil- various combinations of to spend a Saturday after- ble to be bought by your and seascapes that you laume Cornet’s quirky provenance all of the above. noon; particularly if you average Imperial-stu- might want to hang and colourful isometric It probably hasn’t want to learn more about dent-turned-banker that in your affordable flat cityscapes (think Habbo would escaped your attention art beyond the somewhat takes places twice a year in once you land that sweet Hotel crossed with have been that all of the artists pretentious headline Battersea Park. Although consulting gig at BCG; classic Sim City), Paul mentioned so far have pieces that win the Turner its use of the word ‘af- and that of the en vogue, Powis’s vibrant, pop-arty, appreciated” been white and Western. Prize (second group plus- fordable’ is about as apt avant-garde, ‘proper art’ impressionist landscapes In general, across the fair, plus). as the word’s application which you might alter- (perfect for a cozy kitchen had concentric circles as in art in general, some The evolution of the to the £400,000 studio nately scoff at or try to complete with a nice (Paolo Ceribelli and Chris more diversity in both art at fairs such as this is flats which overlook the seem interested by in an affordable Aga), and John Wood), origami circles the subject matter and always much more rapid park, it remains one of the attempt to impress that Hammond’s fantastic (Caroline Preston), folded the provenance of the art than at static galleries and best events in London for portrayals of London, concentric circles (Peter would have been appre- so it’s also a good way to viewing a much broader both indoors and out, that Monaghan), slightly ciated; particularly when keep up to date with the range of contemporary “Landscapes, do well to capture the off-centric circles (Geoff staring at the 10,000th cutting edge. Entry was art than you might find atmosphere and bustle of Catlow), a sculpture of cityscape of New York, £11 (student advance), hanging in the Tate or the cityscapes, the city. concentric circles on a Paris, or London. glasses of champagne to Saatchi Gallery. Firmly within the remit sphere (Dee Stanford), It was refreshing to celebrate your affordable Over a hundred delega- riverscapes, of the second group are and even a collection of arrive at the stall of purchase were £9.50, and tions from across the UK beachscapes, all those many and varied coloured circles from ArtBlue Studio from the fair will be back in and from further afield interpretations of what Damien himself. Singapore, one of the few Battersea next spring. are present at the fair, and seascapes” seemed to be this autumn’s Your author isn’t galleries from outside representing artists from key theme of circles. We entirely sure why the the Western world, 15 FELIX ISSUE 1703

BOOKS [email protected]

No names and no setting – Anna Burn’s Booker prize-winning Milkman is a “challenging” read // The Economist Man Booker Prize winner: Milkman a “challenging” read Anna Burns is the first Northern Irish writer to win the prestigious award for her Troubles-era novel Milkman.

sobriquet. There is one way a walk up Snowdon calates and things come to off, but it does not. We certainly be lost in. particularly fantastic early is challenging”, and it a head, Burns handles the are, in principle, told what There’s probably a scene in which middle is – it truly stretched the narrative deftly. the climax of the novel is way in which this, too, is sister’s maybe-boyfriend limits of my suspension of In the buildup to the on page one: Somebody intentional, but really it is accosted on charges of belief. action, we are treated to McSomebody is going just makes the novel feel possessing a bit of a car However, through this over two hundred pages to assault middle sister unsatisfying to me. I think with a flag from “over style, Burns has managed of tension-building and and her IRA stalker, the this generally sums up the water” on it. That was to make every word, characterisation. There eponymous Milkman, is my position on Milkman: when the penny finally every paragraph, every are, of course, flashes of going to die. In actuality, it’s an incredibly clever dropped for me, but I page feel overwrought action (such as the afore- the climax of Milkman novel that is overflowing might just be slow. and overthought, which mentioned scene with with literary merit, and The second thing you perfectly captures the maybe-boyfriend’s car certainly enough to justify notice is the language. outstanding tension of her bits), but these are more the Man Booker prize. The novel is almost setting. Her attention to or less glossed over by “It’s certainly However, it is also impen- entirely middle sister’s detail and the vernacular Burns as she rushes to in- etrable and occasionally a inner monologue, and the conveyed a sense of place troduce the next character worth a read touch boring. language is not what one to an extent that would or drop the next nugget of if you’re a It’s certainly worth BOOKS would expect from an 18- be unachievable by mere setting-related exposition. a read if you’re a fan year-old girl growing up description. To some extent, this fan of seeing of seeing the English Gautam in working class Belfast This comes at the cost is also part of the point. language used in new Kambhampati during The Troubles. Her of making Burns’ novel Middle sister wants a the English ways, and a book on Books Writer thoughts are bizarrely largely impenetrable. quiet life: she reads 19th Northern Irish issues prosaic, and Burns’ style Appiah said that his time century literature whilst language used getting publicity right disorientating. Her char- spent reading academic walking to avoid having in new ways” now is probably not a bad he first thing one acters are difficult to dis- papers on philosophy to interact with people, thing. But probably, for notices about tinguish from each other were good preparation. and would rather not have the vast majority of the Anna Burns’ – throughout the dialogue For the reader attempting the ‘future talk’ with may- reading public it’s just not Milkman is the all the characters speak in Milkman without such be-boyfriend. When plot features an assortment worth sitting through all Tlack of names. The closest the same oddly stilted and training, it is easy to happens to her it is always of minor side characters; that build-up for what is thing our protagonist gets long-winded manner. imagine the book being a an inconvenience, and the when you finally reach an extremely well-writ- to one is “middle sister”, Kwame Anthony tough read. There is more prose treats it as such. the bit you’re promised ten and engaging, but and the setting is only Appiah, Chair of the Man or less no plot for the first This wouldn’t matter at the start, you could ultimately disappointing, ever referred to obliquely, Booker Prize panel, called two-thirds of the novel, so much if the tension easily miss it in that haze conclusion. and its characters by it “challenging in the but when the tension es- built to a satisfying pay of action you’ll almost 16 FELIX ISSUE 1703

GAMES [email protected]

Woody contemplates the dilemma that is having a snake in his boot // Square Enix Kingdom Hearts 3: A Hands On Review One of our Felix Editors dove into Andy’s Toy Box at MCM Comic Con last weekend.

GAMES the Corporate mouse. counter). Our loveable After the Toy Story Introduced in Birth could transform into Anthony Onwuli And that’s why so many protagonists have been gang get acquainted with by Sleep, we see the claws for a range of melee Games Editor of us have been excited transformed into toys Sora, Donald and Goofy, Shotlock mechanic return. attacks and the Tangled about the new franchises and are hunting down the we set off to explore why The Shotlock feature has keyblade offered a range that we will get to visit in organisation and doing everyone has disappeared. two options, one is the of magic-based attacks. his 16-year-old Kingdom Hearts 3 which their usual job of freeing familiar magical blasts The key to drawing out franchise has a includes Toy Story, Big hearts. and the other option is to these transformations special place in Hero 6, Monsters Inc. and Upon being thrust into Gameplay and Shotlock into a flow-mo- was to build up a meter many gamers’ Frozen. this world, it’s immediate- tion attack (flow-motion above the actions menu. Thearts for a variety of I managed to get ly apparent the developers Mechanics was introduced in Dream You build up energy quite reasons. Some, for how some hands-on time with have fully recreated the Drop Distance). Now quickly, so feel free to convoluted the story has Kingdom Hearts 3’s Toy look and feel of the Toy The core aspect of back on to the point of spam your special moves. become from the original Box world at the MCM the combat of Kingdom keyblade switching; with In the final section of Kingdom Hearts, but London Comic Con last Hearts 3 is still relatively the ability to change the demo, Sora hops into many­ have come to love weekend, and here are my “We are the same as the other keyblades in real time, a toy mech and battles the franchise due to the thoughts. titles in the series. We still you have the option to other mechs. With a first crossover between the We are opened to the opened to the have Sora mixing strong change your Shotlock person camera angle, you Final Fantasy and Disney story of the Toy Box story of the and fast melee Keyblade command depending on feel as if you’re in control characters, and how they world with Woody and combos as well as using the keyblade. of an actual mech. This interact with the original Buzz fretting over the Toy Box world his magic abilities such as There are new trans- section was amazing just characters and settings disappearance of the other Blizzard and Fira. formations introduced in because of how different within the world of toys and humans, includ- with Woody An interesting this game which change it was. Kingdom Hearts. ing Andy, by mysterious mechanic which has been the way Sora moves and Kingdom Hearts 3 is Now, on the topic of creatures who have been and Buzz” introduced is that you fights within the game. looking to be an amazing Disney films, who doesn’t popping up in their world. can now swap between The different keyblades game so far. love a good Disney film? Hello Heartless, it’s time Story movie. Andy’s room three keyblades whilst in have unique transforma- It will be released From the films that you’ve to be slain (again). Enter is an exact copy from the combat without having tions which were explored on the PS4 and Xbox watched growing up, to Sora, Donald and Goofy films with the drawings to go into the menu. in the Toy Box demo. The One, apparently on 29th the films that you still (those names can only be of cowboys, his rocket With real-time weapon Toy Story keyblade trans- January 2019 (let’s hope watch now, each film has said in this order, don’t ship bed covers and watch switching, the range of forms into yo-yos and can that there’s no last minute a special place in every- believe me? Then play clock making you feel as combat options available summon tea cups to attack changes/delays). one’s heart. There’s just through any game in if you are right there in the to you has been expanded the heartless with. The something special about the franchise and keep a Toy Story world. immensely. Monsters Inc. keyblade 17

FR IDAY, 2 ND NOVEMBER, 2018 – Fake News! – ISSUE 1703 FELIX ISSUE 1703

HANGMAN [email protected] Hangman Spotted @ Imperial... Alice Ghast

HANGMAN moaning the following a currency of your choice, the DPFS for some petty rhyme: be it gold, internal organs cash, seeing as they’re Negafelix “Hubble bubble toil or, most importantly, only spending it on Editor-in-Chief and trouble, let my annual London property. beers that aren’t Stella.” salary double.” The student reaction Another student said, “I Although aware that just don’t know why she this rhyme does not match wasted all that blood on a Ghostbusters called to the original Shakespeare, “Hubble creepy message. Doesn’t Halloween ACC which replaces hubble, she know that you can get bubble with double, bubble toil and up to $350 for a bag with double, the ghostly appa- the right customer? How t this time of rition felt that quadruple trouble, let my does she think I’m paying year, the rare would stretch both the annual salary my tuition fees, SFE dried Alice Ghast university budget and the up last week and I’m 1.5 has been spot- English language too far. double” grand into my overdraft.” Ated roaming the halls Students wishing to The real question now is of Imperial. Although avoid the hostile atten- how to rid the students of famously an elusive tions of the Ghast have to this ghostly apparition this dangerous ghoul? One creature that will not found the following has mostly been one of suggestion from an active respond to meeting re- advice scrawled on the pedantry. One student member of left-forum Who you gonna call? // pngimg quests with people that wall in what appeared said, “I can’t believe that was to “increase political associate with Divest to be blood: leave out an she altered Shakespeare engagement of the student met with hoots of derision a week until the ghoul left and Left Forum, stu- offering equivalent to as a crude demand for body to counter such pay and the final conclusion as per rugby policy. dents report hearing her your yearly tuition fees in more money. Just go ask rises.” Naturally this was was to sacrifice a fresher

ARIES TAURUS GEMINI CANCER LEO VIRGO

This week you see This week you wake up This week you remember This week you’re a This week you think your This week it’s cold a vampire sucking from a vivid nightmare your parents didn’t raise bloodsucking vampire neighbour’s a witch - outside - perfect weather the blood out of your in cold sweats, only to you to be partaking in all who preys on poor her black cat is always for some Netflix and friend at a Halloween wake up realising that it’s this demonic nonsense. deprived university watching you and you’re Chill. For some reason party. Unfortunately, tyou’re still at Imperial. students. sure she keeps hexing your MCM wants to your Active Bystander ACC? Not when there’s your heating. watch ‘The Human UNMASKED! The CGCU’s vigilante heroes // Andrew Hill training didn’t quite cover This some Freddy Hallelujah-ween night Oh wait never mind; Maybe you should go Centipede’. Nah screw supernatural creatures. Krueger bullshit. vigil at chuch instead. you’re Alice Gast again. drop off her Amazon that; pack up and go. CGCU Office illuminated by new lamp Michael Edwards, who Do better, Union. packages from April. said, “It’s blindingly obvious that this was a HANGMAN range of other worthless (68lb) Bolt. Several hours reading “The Bolt is in our simply “walked straight false flag – the RCSU is memorabilia from the after the event concluded, office”, was decoded by in”. There has been no completely incapable of Negafelix Royal School of Mines the Bolt was reported codebreaking Computing official communication stealing mascots”. Not Editor-in-Chief Union (RSMU) in a raid missing to members of students in the rivalling from the CGCU on the long after, a second image to retrieve one of the the CGCU committee by CGCU office, the CGCU means of entry as of yet. was uploaded purporting The CGCU claims back CGCU’s most famed President, Andrew Hill. carried out raid on the Later on Monday night, to show the real perpetra- its rightful mascot in mascots, the Bolt. In a clear show of bravado RSMU office shortly a series of compromising tors: a diverse subset of addition to the RSMU’s Last Saturday, the from the CGCU, the Bolt after dusk on Monday images were “leaked” the CGCU committee. LIBRA SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PISCES ‘Davy Lamp’ in the CGCU hosted their had been left unattended evening. It is unknown online by the Memeperial The CGCU is yet to Annual Welcome Dinner within the Union building how the intruders gained Facebook page, continu- issue an official ransom first mascot theft of aimed at freshers and for a substantial period access to the room, but ing their six-month trend note including demands This week your glucose This week you’re Deputy This week you’re a Union This week you drink This week you see a This week you’re craving the year thirsty sharks at the of time. Unsurprisingly, one concerned Materials of not actually posting any which will lead to the safe guardian suddenly passes President (Clubs & bouncer during ACC. a Draught of Living hoard of zombies queuing brains. Fortunately, Millennium Gloucester it was then swiped by an lecturer reported seeing a memes. One photograph return of the Davy Lamp. away, without even Societies). You have to Bored, you play a game Death. The effects are in the Library café. Is the there part of the new he City and Hotel, proudly display- RSMU member, despite group of shifty students of the culprits posing as Mascot pundits speculate mentioning your name in choose between a Ouija of ‘Spot the Offensive instantaneous. apocalypse nigh?! Fusion menu - with Guilds College ing their two mascots inviolacy. dusting white forensics Royal College of Science that the CGCU may ask his will. board or CSPB. Either Costume’. You soon complimentary sweet Union (CGCU) throughout the night: the After a cryptic message powder over the door Union (RCSU) members RSMU members to drop way you’re opening up realise it might be more That’s the last time you Wait no, they’re just final chilli and hot sauce for have stolen 29kg (64lb) solid bronze from the RSMU Presi- handle. Another spectator received criticism from out and take real degrees This isn’t how you a portal to hell. Come fun to play that the other let your friends mix year students leaving your seasoning-deficient Tthe Davy Lamp and a Spanner and the 31kg dent, Marta Wolinska, remarked that the group the RCSU’s ex-President, instead. expected to get ghosted. through, departed spirit. way around. drinks at pres. after an all-nighter. zombie tastebuds . 20 21 FELIX ISSUE 1703

INVESTMENT [email protected] Dark Pools: Evil place or a market place?

INVESTMENT be similar for a Fund C independent brokerages in any stock is allowed buying 1,000,000 shares like ITG and LiquidNet. in a dark pool over a Xerxes Chong at $100.00/share, as Even the London Stock twelve month period. Investment Editor buying pressure drives up Exchange operates dark Simultaneously the share prices, resulting in a pools: Cboe Europe and trading of an individual ICIS Co-editor higher net price. Here is Turquoise Plato. stock across all dark pools where a dark pool comes Due to the large orders, is limited to 8% of the in handy for Funds B and exchanges are concerned total volume in that stock. ark pools. The C. about the volume of According to the Financial words invoke In the dark pool, trading being drawn away Times, upticks in the an atmosphere the electronic system from regular exchanges, market share of some of secrecy and matches buyers to sellers resulting in lesser fees exchanges were noted in Devil, harkening back to anonymously just like a for exchanges and lower the week following the myths of murky waters Monster-sized transactions exist in dark pools // Imgur.com stock exchange. However, activity for the wider implementation of Mifid and ancient terrors that orders are secret, as market. According to II. lurk within. Throw in millions to the lowly tens. investors. Therefore, participants do not know Thomson Reuters, over However, as with any the modern element of It is hard to match orders public knowledge of large the price and size of 45% of daily traded new rule, firms have trading and most im- of the same size and it transactions can influence transactions happening volume in Europe occurs found ways around agine clandestine deals becomes near impossible the share price of the within. Crucially for in off-exchange platforms them. An alternative less involving dubious char- as the order size increases. companies involved as the public funds, knowledge like dark pools. With regulated trading platform acters straight out of The Large orders are broken wider market scrambles of the transaction will secretive deals the public sharing numerous features Godfather. The reality is down into smaller chunks to profit alongside the only be released after is deprived of knowledge with dark pools, known as less intimidating. to be matched to sellers, institutions. the deal has happened, and are less empowered to systematic internalisers Dark pools refer and this happens over For instance, Fund B ensuring the ripple make informed investment (SI), are gaining to non-public stock days. decides to sell 1,000,000 effect from the wider decisions, which breaks popularity. Some 24 trading platforms where For example, a seller shares in Company A at market will not affect down the trust of public institutions have already shares can be traded submits a sell order of $100.00/share on a regular the transaction. If two investors. Subject to less adopted a SI status, anonymously, in which 10,000 shares in Company stock exchange. The non-public companies, reliable prices and lower including prominent details of the transaction A. Should there not be a sell order is submitted, such as private equity liquidity, it seems unfair banks, proprietary trading and parties involved are concurrent buy order for and the exchange begins firms, are involved in the for institutional investors firms and market makers not made public. They are 10,000 shares of Company to break down the sale transactions the wider to profit from a separate like Tower Research only accessible to large A, but instead ten buy into smaller chunks and market may never hear platform at the expense of Capital, Citadel Securities institutional investors orders to buy 1,000 shares find matching buyers. of the deal as they are the public. and Virtu Financial. transacting large volumes each, the larger sell order Traders and other market not required to announce The days of dark While policy makers in of shares, allowing both will be broken down into participants will notice an it. Trading fees in dark pool trading may be the EU have made clear parties to deal at desirable ten blocks of 1,000 shares. increase of sell orders for pools are also cheaper at an end with the their desire to clamp down prices. To understand dark An important Company A, arriving at than exchanges. It is introduction of the Mifid on dark pools, there is no pools better, it is important distinction with a the logical conclusion that important to note: dark II (Markets in financial intention to eliminate to understand how the stock exchange is price the ‘smart money’ have pools are not illegal, their instruments derivative) them, accepting the need modern stock exchange transparency; the total either; decided to take operators are registered regulations by the EU for institutions to transact functions. volume of shares in buy profit at the current share and regulated by financial in early 2018. Meant to without shifting the From bustling coffee and sell orders are made price or have knowledge authorities like a regular bring transparency and market price. There are shops in the 17th century, public along with the bid of negative developments stock exchange. Dark efficiency back to the exceptions for unlimited where merchants and and ask price (i.e. the and are anticipating a pools were initially used European markets, this trading in dark pools for brokers haggled, the highest price the buyers drop. They would proceed by brokerages to ease regulation seeks to drain large orders. SIs with modern stock exchange are buying or ‘bidding’ to sell the stock as well, the processing of large Europe’s dark pools and cheaper fees and lower has not veered from its for a share and the lowest placing ‘pressure’ on the orders and have grown in force transactions back standards for quote sizes main function: matching price the sellers are selling share price and causing popularity since the 1980s. into the light. Under Mifid and trade reporting will buyers and sellers. or ‘asking’ for a share are it to drop further. This Operators include banks II, dark pools face a twin fill gaps not big enough to Companies listed on the visible) creates a ripple effect, as such as Credit Suisse, cap on the amount of match the EU’s large order stock exchange have Price transparency more market participants Goldman Sachs, Citi, trading that can be done. exemption rule, but large shares being bought and can undermine the get wind of price and Morgan Stanley and Just 4% of the total trading enough to affect market sold regularly. Buyers profitability of large deals. movements and join in prices. With the UK set and sellers submit orders Participants dealing in the selling. This effect, to leave the EU the matter through a broker and an large volumes of shares combined with the large of Mifid’s enforcement electronic system matches are often institutional order being broken down, arises. Policy makers have orders to complete the investors, whose dealings results in orders being jumped into the deep end transaction. Whilst are closely monitored as filled at ever decreasing of regulating dark pools. stock exchanges have an indication of ‘smart prices, resulting in a lower a minimum order size, money’ movement. It net price for the entire known as a lot size, is assumed the people order of 1,000,000 shares. the sheer volume and helming these institutions If Fund B gets an average breadth of participants possess deep knowledge sale price of $95.00, 5% from large hedge funds of businesses and lower than intended, to individual investors valuable insights about it represents a loss of create a spectrum of order future potential, giving $5,000,000 in potential sizes: from eye-watering them an edge over smaller profits. The effect would Off-exchange platforms makes 50% of trading // FT 22 FELIX ISSUE 1703

PUZZLES [email protected]

      FUCWIT 1 Maxiane 72  2 Yeet Infection 61 SUDOKU 2 CHZYNo.1InMy<3 61 Fill all the boxes with a number between 1 4 Luncheon Pals 58 and 9. A number can only appear once in a 5 DQ 53 
row/colum, and only once in each sub-box. 5 HoneybunnySnugglepuff 53 7 Lunar Lunacy 52 8 Sudok-urself 50  
9 KBLB 44    10 Cat Ladies 39   11 Soggy Biscuit Society 36 12 The Indoor Sundial 30    22 Crosswordsolver.org 9     Send your solutions to fsudoku@imperial.   ac.uk before Wednesday midday to take    part in the leaderboard!   
    Points available Crossword 6    Gogen 3   Sudoku 3   Minesweeper 4 Shikaku 2
  Total 18

CROSSWORD Last week’s solutions

Across Down        
 7. The tiniest bit (4) 1. Essential ingredient in fish and chips (6)     8. They doubt e v e r y t h i n g (8) 2. A really big slingshot (8)     
  9. Served with cheese (8) 3. Capital of Norway (4)     10. Breakfast, lunch, or dinner (4) 4. Belonging to the Dark Ages (8)         
  
 11. Healthy soy-based ingredient, popular in Asia (4) 5. The building block of matter (4)
          12. 1966 Beatles album (8) 6. A hydrocarbon that powers cars (6)      14. Shares a border with Spain (8) 12. The murder of a king (8)  
  
        16. A bird’s cradle (4) 13. Lives in the capital (8)  18. Meat soup (4) 15. Choice (6)   
  
    
  20. Not royalty (8) 17. A chair on skis (6)       
   22. God of the Sea (8) 19. Cry (4)    23. Ahead of the trend (4) 21. Repair (4)                  
   GOGEN    
 Write letters into each circle to form the
    listed words. Letters can be linked by SHIKAKU moving between adjacent cells hori- Divide the square into rectangles, such that each rectangle  
 zontally, vertically or diagonally in any contains exactly one number. The numbers given represent    direction. You may use each letter in the the area of the containing rectangle.   alphabet only once. 

 MINESWEEPER    The number in a cell represents the number of mines adjacent to that  square (up/down, left/right, diagonal). Find and mark all of the mines to clear the board.




 



    





 

   

JUXTAPOSE PONDER BLAST




QUICK DRY GIFTS MATCH WET GUTS 

  
SHAM PALM ZIG 

23 FELIX ISSUE 1703

SPORTS [email protected] ICURFC 2nd XV’s winning streak lives on

SPORTS see that the other team quick thinking and true ball from Kirrane. Second down the touch line with a definitive try therefore actually showed up on flair on the blind-side half began just as the first pure pace and strength, denying him a meat pie Gustave RDB time after the 40-minute from scrum half Valerio half did and after a couple on his last appearance Imperial 2nd XV game last week. After meant that 2XV veteran phases it was decided to of the year. Thankfully, a quick but intense and Ifan was over the line take the 3 points to ensure “after a couple fines were awarded for serious warm-up, strong unscathed for the first the victory. After the suc- this incident. Final score motivation came for try of the game. Unfor- cessful kick on the restart, phases it was 20-7 with IC 2s 20 7 the banned players who tunately, errors in de- the ball went wide very was decided continuing their sublime Imperial V UCL wanted a last win with fence lead to a scrappy quickly, and fresh prop form despite moving up a 2nd XV 3rd XV the boys to end their try by UCL shortly af- ED (@debesh) believed to take the league in what should be season. This meant Im- ter. The boys kept their for a moment that he was a very exciting year once perial came firing in the heads up because we Rieko Ioane and tore the 3 points to again. On a more personal first 20 minutes of the knew that if we played to defence apart with a filthy note, I would like to n Wednesday, game with strong carries system we would end up step before offering the ensure the thank all the boys for the freshers dis- and a dominant scrum steam-rolling them with try to Sochi who ran the unbelievable effort in the covered the regularly shoving back our fitness and flair. perfect support line. The victory” past two games, it was a pleasure of UCL’s. Yet, it wasn’t Second try of the end of the game was very pleasure to lead you guys Otaking public transport enough to score due to game came very handy scrappy but Jespersen and I’ll be back next year to Fortress Harlington small handling errors just before half time as proved to us once again he went on to forget his with you for more flair for our second game of and lack of patience in McConkey dove over the what he’s capable of. After captain RDB on the inside and big Ws. the season. It was nice to the opposition 22s. But try line after a sick inside breaking a couple tackles for what would have been ICURFC 3rd XV’s fresher Ridge builds up an appetite

SPORTS It was our kick-off, and pearance, it was decided His aggressive and deter- under the sticks. for him! Mr Ridge had as Marco Violet-Vianello that a substitution was mined driving technique The opposition utilised certainly got himself an Will Cox lofted the ball into the required. Some may argue had surely translated onto our lack of energy after appetite for tries, so much Imperial 3rd XV air, the pressure from our that an alternative reason the rugby pitch to help running circles round so that he saw an oppor- boys was apparent. Within had caused this substi- him score an 80m try, them to earn themselves tunity to take a try from a couple of minutes, a big tution, however I beg to after picking up the ball a few tries; however, a cheeky grubber kick of hit from James King had differ. With now a less from an error of our op- this would not destroy Marco’s. 59 27 sent him into a concussed position’s. With Arnaud’s the momentum of the IC After Marco Vio- Imperial V UWL state. With one less substi- energy high at this point, boys. More tries came in let-Vianello had lost that 3rd XV 1st XV tute to support the team, “His driving he managed to “smoke from Tom Watson, and opportunity to earn that the start didn’t seem to their winger and fullback” Jack Martin-Halls with previous try, he decided look too hopeful. Then, lo technique in the last 20m, to earn the excellent assistance of to piss off the opponents and behold, some simple himself his first IC try. Ignacio Manzur. some more. With a few ednesday hands led the ball to the had surely We now had the con- Marco Violet-Vianello steps, a twirl and some was a big right-hand side of the pitch translated fidence, and this allowed had decided that he large angry UWL props, day for the giving William Ridge the us to show our skills to wanted to get himself on Marco was in the try zone. 3s in several golden opportunity of an onto the rugby the utmost. Tries from the the scoresheet. A lineout With a few converted Waspects. After a tough loss overlap to secure his first mighty 3s were flooding in in our favour gave Marco tries from UWL, the score the previous week, some try. This try set fear into pitch to help by now. Olivier Doustaly the chance to show his at full time came to 59-21 changes to the squad, and our opponents, and surely managed to use that flair by getting past the to IC. A great overall only a few substitutes, it the regret of the big warm him score an chemistry with his fellow centres and follow it with performance from the was integral that everyone up session loomed after 80m try” Frenchman Marco as they a disgraceful dink of the boys, with our man of the plays to their best form. they had discovered their executed an S-pattern off ball towards the try line match being Marco Vio- On arrival at Fortress cardio fitness was not up of the back of a scrum to where we he would meet let-Vianello. A thoroughly Harlington, we eyed to scratch. gain those last 10m past to secure that try. deserved W, and I hope up the eager opposition Shortly after, with experienced pack, as a the try line. William Ridge had that the team can carry already warming up. It some great pressure result of the previous head Once again, William decided that he wasn’t this momentum through was hard for some of their and defence, a double injuries, it was decided Ridge managed to get finished. The greedy the training sessions and larger players to not catch takedown tackle from that uncontested scrums himself another try, fresher didn’t like the into the games to make our eyes, yet this sight skipper Michael Rudman, were in play. after a dropped ball in thought of having a this a good season. feared no-one. We got and Will Cox, had caused Next up to put their our 22. This allowed smaller percentage of the into our pristine, matching a head collision for Will. name onto the scoreboard for the fresher to show total amount of tries. He IC shirts and proceeded After feeling a bit dizzy was none other than our his worth by running used an overlap to earn to warm up and prepare and allowing the bump on tame racing minibus through, stepping the 15 himself the hat-trick. But ourselves for the fixture. his head to make its ap- driver, Arnaud Tournier. and getting that ball down that still wasn’t enough

Editor’s note: ICU’s Rugby club is still under suspension within BUCs, officially all games played were conceded.

24