.3 FEE Sex- rated THE BOOKS THEY SAN PAGES 10.11 ST~JIncorporating ;art magazine DENTFebruary 23, 1996

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SENSE AND SENSIBILITY: JUICE PAGES 2.3 BOSSES IN DISGRACE AS BITTER INTERNAL FEUD WRECKS AGM Union chiefs told: You're so pathetic BY DAVID SMITH

.RED-faced Exec officers are in disgrace after wasting students' EVERY CLOUD HAS A RAINBOW LINING cash and wrecking the biggest union event of the year - all for the sake of a petty internal dispute. Union chiefs decided to call off yesterday's Annual General Meeting at LUU after a series of incidents including shouting matches. allegations of theft, officers breaking down in tears and two members of Exec almost coming to blows. Some union workers say morale has never been lower. The now exploded at a meeting this week when four members stomed out amid allegations of underhand tactics and dirty tricks. Adminismition Seeman Richard Malach claimed they had -singlehandedly &snow! the union" Exec members, whose wages are paid from student funds to the tune of over £60.000. have spent weeks in acrimonious debate over the Union's proposed new constitution. The argument centred on just two lines of text in a document of more than a thousand. due to have been discussed at the AGM. One of the controversial points - the subject of a bitter war of words - conixrned whether an Exec post should he given the title 'Administration Secretary', 'Commtmications Secretary' or 'General Secretary'. The tense atmosphere has upset some employees in the union. "Political infighting is bound to affoct the staff." one worker said. its never happened like this on such a scale." After a series of flashpoints in recent days the situation has bordered on the farcical: • Papers were allegedly stolen from the desk of Riehiml Malach just hours before the deadline for business TT'S IN THE AIR: The rare cloud phenomenon that turned heads in Leeds last Friday. Motorists stopped and crowds • Exec officers spent union funds on mass producing three gathered to admire the spectacular display of colours which is unlikely to be repeated during our lifetime. The different editions of the .4GM agenda. each containing changes of nacreous. or mother-of-pearl, clouds are caused by diffraction of the sun's light through clouds of dust and ice only a few words high in the stratosphere. Pic: Pete Cotton Words: David Adam CONTINUED ON PAGE 2 INSIDE: News 1-9. Comment 6-7, Feature 10-11. Careers 12. Travel 13, Consumer 14. Sport 16-20. Plus 16 page juice pullout magazine U: ..TY Cr Lr.:

2 t FPS STUDENT Friday February 2 A. Iwo. News Top bands join fight for education crime update Stun gun victim in housing row 23 - 2 - 96 het. sTUDEN POP hands Gene, Suede and Badlands id A MOTHER-OF-TWO waiting theinsely.es agree is ptew. It will also contain specially Carter I 'SM have pledged their Compiled by Shire Leman' to be rehoused by the council has Chnstina was the victim of it recorded tracks from The support for the Yorkshire based and Fiona McLeod been told she will have a wait of stun gun attack. as reported last IVedding Present, Omit: Campaign for Free Education. up to nine months. wetness term in Leeds Stiukra. and is still Tentacle and Bristol-based DURING the early evening of t writes Danielle Ford. Rebecca Fenought y. fighting to cope with the trauma bond The Moonflowers, who the February 17 burglars Other local and national entered a property on Christer,' Espinoza. a part- of the incident. . recently supported Portishead Manor time Law student at I_MLI Christina continues to fight musical talents are actively Drive in Headinglcy. forcing backing the appeal from on tour. currently living in Halifax and for a decent home for herself and Campaigners are idso their way into several flats on students to have a universally commuting to Leeds everyday is her family. "I'm prepared 11, seeking musicians to take part the premises:and stealing 11,11 %I.e. rnwspain free education system, The Lord. t pion a priority case on the council's make sacrifices but there are so a Summer !Stasi( Festival, various items including stereo climax of the campaign will be a in PO tier t57 housing list. but the only Leeds many oh:decks herng put in my equipment. a leather jackets fundraising CD to he released in poesibly to he held at Leeds LEEDS property was a run-down house way which are drugging me 14 carat gold ring and a Gucci 1251 III the spring on the independent University. Meanwrxxi. which the council down." watch. &NW Men Rum LATER that evening thieves Orp•ey Edits, entered a house on Regent (haat Sra•11, Pare Terrace in Hyde Park. Juan /.dust torcing a rear window. Articles Hannah I.,'.. taken from the premises Arts Mien include a hi-fft compact discs, ben Uisunn a personal organiser and a Dui 5.1.. Clare [hal Big brother fights separate compact disc player. firminst %Ow.

Soya FAker. POLICE are urging students to iumelo %Who.. be vigilant after reports of a Greg rent pick-pocket operating on adossi a Andy* Leeds University campus. On II*. Mlles the February 16 a wallet was Doha Cantata, stolen from the pocket of a Pane jacket in the Edward Boyle crime in city centre library. prompting speculation I ...h., • I ...1.1.1.r 'MEN that the thief is a student as an Itiditst tw, ,o.p3. ,3,,,,..}42GE electronic scanning system CLOSED Circuit cameras are set to revolutionise crime I Libutyts Caaapaidal prevention and detection as Leeds becomes the latest prevents non-students bum lennlrri Matte-. YEAR OF THE CHINESE DRAGON entering. The following city to have 'big brother' on its streets. Saw [dial . Monday a wallet was stolen Leeds City Council are Net 1e.1 from the side pocket of a Disess Chess providing £250.000 for the COUNCIL rucksack while the owner was tDino.Stat.•ry scheme which will initially. eating in the refectory_ MO.* Salkita provide 19 cameras aimed at INSTALLS Can rim rhteitt three key problem areas unique A SKIRMISH between Cl... It mato.. to the city centre: shoplifting, MA: Pronto CLOSED students and staff occurred Sara Telef., disorder and car park crime. outside the Pleasure Rooms Met Reporirrs Mario 'need Andy Johnston, Leeds nightclub on Tuesday night Attmc it•toct. Crime Prevention Officer said: CIRCUIT TV IN The students, who were "its a good move, the crime PSriurs ErlHary celebrating a birthday. were Our Grant you get in the city centre you CITY CENTRE chased into a nearby kebab Willem loylen wouldn't get outside the city shop after being asked to leave M., I Les the police arrested the offender centre. The obvious one is a Tequilla night at the club: bisUbru vlberninisut within a inmate - concerns over disorder, fighting outside A shop window opposite Setters Dillow possible abuse of the recorded pubs." then was smashed and police Days! salsas material have been raised by However concern has been Lailed. The Students spent a spar Miter groups such as Liberty. expressed that surveillance night in police cells on a I'- Osaa In Group spokeswoman Atiya Assissasi Spael Attlee cameras simply move criminals charge of being drunk and Paul ibehallam further afield to areas already Lockwood said: "We are not opposed to it. but in an absence disonierly. lad Awash Sam suffering from crime - such as Ala NM" the student metroland of LSb• of a law of right to privacy we feel there should be legislation lama Fdlar But the police deny this is Nan lava. an inevitable result of such that it is used for crime DEATH EXAMINED cameras. Dave Hard, Chief prevention only. If CCTV is M...1 Dada used for purposes other than Candi Hustsc. Constable of Newcastle City A POST-MORTEM Miami Command, said of the city's 16 prevention then it is an examination Oil Richard Sed Maid' camera system: "There is no i n fri ngement Sirnpson. the second year evidence of displacement. Rachel Faulkner. General student elm died in Beckett From the police point of view it Secretary at LUU said: Park peol last Wednesday Heard a good has been useful in improving "Hopefully it does reduce has resealed that he died story? Call the the environment of the city crime and if it is in a shupping from natural causes. writri centre and anything which area rather than a residential Jane Bullock. improves the city for residents area then its not such an 'The 27-year-old Dietetics and visitors we are glad to see." invasion of privacy Its a step student from I.MU featured Newsdesk Although the benefits in the in the right direction which the last week in Leak Student tight against crime are clear - executive do not see as a CULTURAL CELEBRATIONS: To celebrate Chinese New Year died from swallowing gastric 0113 I., verpoor s city centre cameras problem for civil liberties." last Sunday students at Park Lane College were treated to a juices leading to a cardiac caught a murder on camera And traditional display by a Chinese dragon troupe. Plc: Mat Shard arrhythmia. 2434127 Want to * Weather news C Weather news * Weather news advertise? You're so Contact CONTINUED FROM PAGE ONE publicity for a meeting • Officers stormed out of a supposed to happen yesterday. committee meeting atter a "It's absolutely ridiculous." Advertising ON THE HORIZON, losing a crucial vole, forcing it said Damien Tash, a member of to tic abandoned due to the lack Union Council. "The bickering 0113 of members present and infighting makes Exec look with celebrity weather forecaster • Minutes later Martin Young. hopeless and pathetic. The 2314251 Financial Secretary, was seen union has become a laughing Stevie Sunshine leaving the building in spite of stock." Or send a fax cnt protests, saying: "Fuck the Members of Exec are not Saturday: Showers, some possibly heavy and wintry. Winds fresh southwesterly. union" even attempting to defend their Max temp 7C (45F) • Tivo members of Exec came role in recent events. 'There's Fax chew to violence in the union been no general consenus or teamwork," said Rachel Sunday: Sunshine and scattered wintry showers. Winds moderate to fresh foyer as tempers reached 0113 southwest. Max temp 6C (43F) breaking point Faulkner. General Secretary- "II An emergency meeting of should not have come down to Exec on Tuesday found the personalities. The whole thing's 2467953 Outlook for the rest of the week: Further showers likely, some possibly wintry. differences had still not been a real shame." Temperatures on the cold side. settled, forcing the AGM to be The AGM has been e-mail put back a fortnight. But rescheduled for I pm on [email protected] Fe our kW* suppled by Lad, Met. Odla hundreds of pounds of students' Thursday March 7 in the Riley nab Resisall formed suitable so WO SAO 10 Premium Mewl- funds had already been spent on Smith Hall. 2 News ISEDS STI DENT hndov Febzuory 23, 1996 Chilling recipe for trouble • • 11-1M. mould • Ind dispute appear They waved a to be the consequences of a shared fridge. says a recent survey by Lee. UK's favourite fridge company. wore% Z,na Sunni Milk and margarine are the must frequently stolen items. with sausages coming in a close second. 8? per cent of students admit to stealing food from their commurial fridge, yet with 51 per cent complaining ol poor hygiene. A cunning lit per cent gun in my face have "got their own back" by spiking their flatmates food. The survey also asked HYDE PARK GUN ATTACK ancient., who they would most like to find in their fridge. DOUBLE INJURY HITS SPORT Among female students the favourite. was Brad Pitt, while TERRIFIES STUDENTS ON males cave Ulrike Johnson their top vote. Trinity and All Saints student Emma 'Teesdale agreed THEIR WAY TO UNIVERSITY with the choices. "Ooh, Brad Pitt please, minim.... tasty." When asked about the fridge AN ARMED gang of BY MARTIN ARtsuLD teenagers held two as a means of passion, four per the porters and phoned the police, cent of students admitted to sex students at gunpoint as who came to the union and against the fridge. Responding to they walked through interviewed the two second years. this statistic Kathleen Turner, an Education and Sport student said: Hyde Park. Barrel "Oh no, tux chilly you know The two second year what I mean." Leeds University students William said: "Unfortunately it was dark and I didn't see very were confronted by seven much. however the one with the young males brandishing gun was definitely Asian and I Election guns at 9.30 on Friday think i saw a round silver barrel evening. when the gun was pushed in my fever face." William Roberts, a Medical A spokesman from Mil'genii Science student, and Steven Police station said "Any students comes McBride. a Materials Science faced with a similar situation student, were walking towards should do their best to get away around the university when the incident safely and phone the police happened. immediately." A PRESIDENT has been elected to stand a second Shot year in exec for the first time William said "It was very in many years, writes Sophie surprising, this group of youngsters Hollow. just stopped as we walked past Simon Caffrey will be them, and suddenly one pointed a President of LMUSU again black pistol to my head saying. next year after the sabbatical 'Smile and take a shot'." and non-sabbatical exec The two then hesitated when one elections were held last of the gang members said "Just week. carry on walking, boys" and the Other sabbatical positions pair turned and walked away. have been scooped by Kate William went on to say: "It Woodhead as VP Education seemed unreal at the time, maybe and Campaigns. Jim Evans as because they were only kids, but VP Communcations. Darren we walked off without looking Green as VP Administration back." and Caroline Cassap as VP After arriving at the university Beckett Park. union they reported the incident to SCENE OF THE CRIME: Hyde Park In the non-sabbatical sector Darryl Kaye has been elected Chair of Union F Meetings, and Michelle Oxley as Women's Officer HOSPITAL LEAVES FRESHER A total of 980 votes were STRANDED ALONE AT NIGHT cast in the elections A FEMALE student admitted to hospital When Lucy got hack to the home of Pubs games to SERIOUS INJURY: Sean Constable wishes qualified first eiders had been on hand with suspected meningitis was later KirLstall Brewery flats she realised she released in the middle of the night had no money, or even a key. "I didn't go on Aire BROKEN cheekbones at last Wednesday. At the urne nobody wearing nothing but a dressing gown know what to do Thinking about it I two university sports There were no first thought to stop Richard, but and with no money to get home. write could have handled the situation better matches on the same day eiders at the Beckett Park a groundsman later found Juliet Urquhart and Kirsty but at the time I was so dazed that I has brought first aid site at the time, and Sean him in the changing rooms Lucy Delier. a hospitality student at didn't know what day it was." She. provision on pitches under had to rely on treatment in a dangerous condition. LMU, was rushed to the Leeds General found her way to the bar and borrowed rutle Row.. fire, writes Too: Fran. from a fellow player's The incidents have Infirmary in an ambulance at midnight some money off a friend. Then Lucy A FAVOlIRITE student pub In the first incident father who was watching angered LMUSU Sports barely able to walk and having already found a security guard to let tier into her will be hosting a radio pub international footballer and the match. Administrator Ed White, fainted. However Lucy is angry over her fiat. games tour on Monday, writes LMUSU first team player On the same afternoon who compares the 28 treatment at hospital: 'They left me in a Lucy's father was shocked and Dan idle Ford. Sean Constable was LMUSU Rugby player qualified first eiders on room for two hours and after that only disgusted with the treatment Lucy Headingley's Original Oak prevented from playing for Richard Jones was found hand at all matches in took my temperature and blood recieved. He said: "I know the NHS arc is part of a two week tour by the rest of the season after close to choking on his own Manchester with the pressure." lacking funds to pay the workers and to 963 Aire FM. sustaining concussion and a vomit in changing moms at inadequate pruvi_sion at Lucy was then given the choice of buy equipment but something is Tetley's are sponsoring the broken cheekbone last Manchester University_ LMU. waiting four hours for an ambulance or seriously wrong when educated people event which will feature week. Richard had suffered a Beckett Park health making her own way home. The stall at throw a defenseless IS-year old out on music. games and giveaways Sean was engaged in a clash of heads during the centre is a 400-yard walk the hospital phoned for a taxi and sent the street with no money. Anything plus a cash star prize (4E100 scuffle on pito.% during a match and left the pitch from the sports pitches, and the IS- year old on her way, clad in could have happened to her." for the winner of a general home match against with both a broken is staffed only from nine to nothing else but pyjamas. dressing gown Staff at WI were unavailable for knowledge and sports quiz, Loughborough Univeniry cheekbone and concussion. five. and slippers. comment, starting at 8.00 pm. 3

4 1T1-1 /14 S11 1WN I 1-ro1a.. 1 eisithuN .Z1 1,1"N• News WARNING TO HOUSE HUNTERS OVER viewpoint

Leeds Student ventures forth each week to gauge your opinions and uncover your hidden secrets... LSO housing: After this week's annual muso-bash at Olympia, we want to know what extra award should be added to the Brits?

-The bloke with the worst in the hairiest eyebrows." ` 0, -

Robert Harmer. 1st year Mechanical Engineering,

—Noss hulletified nipples North' POOR housing in Leeds is being slammed this week as the area has been revealed to be one of the worst in the North of England for student accommodation. Guy Aylward, 1st year French and Russian. A special Leeds Student fit Ituurx-cA FLs:oucuiTY, survey shows students in MIME JONES kNOPRIIA MOC/IIVADIS Leeds are paying higher rents choosing housing and not to rush in private accommodation into anything: "All too often than at other universities - students enter Into the process of getting accommodation with the nearly 1 0 more than those at idea that it will only be for a year so THE RENTS "Perforiner who looks nearby Hull. most like confa " if something goes wrong it won't be Standards of housing in the too much of a problem:. said Dahl COMPARED region arc also worse than Margetson. VP Education and elsewhere, with many students Campaigns at LMUSU. "However. complaini rig of unscrupulous they must remember that if they do Darren Leonard. '1st year Computer Science. landlords and a lack of regulations. experience problems it could well be LEEDS Choosing accommodation in the worst year of their lives." £35 average rent per week Leeds has been described as an "absolute lottery" by NUS Standard HULL - E29.50 spokesmen who have lashed out at inflated rents and illegal. contracts • MEANWHILE the poor standard MANCHESTER - E35 They are also criticising the tack of student accommodation in Leeds "Highest pile of pretentious of university-owned property in the has even caught the attention of BIRMINGHAM - £37 crap, for Blur." private sector in comparison to that local MP Keith Hampson, writes available al other universities. Seth King, SHEFFIELD - £31 As recently repotted in Leeds Choice Student, Hattlhon is concerned that a new housing law soon to be every 3 years. A spokesman for Castle Hill said Phil Saxena. 1st year Geology. Students at Hull. for example. debated in Parliament does not go He claims the extra "The people it's going to catch arc have a wide choice of cheap far enough to protect tenants from administration costs would be those letting substandard university accommodation open to unscrupulous landlords and had covered by a £20 fee. like a "huusine properties." them of the same standards as halls living conditions. MOT", which would give the 1S nu of residence. Nor are they charged Environment Secretary John landlords the right to he registered. • FINALLY some good news summer rents which students at Gummer has introduced the bill "As we charge the car owner for the offer for hard hit students ,with Leeds are frequently forced to pay. which favours five yearly MOT, why not charge the landlords Yorkshire Electricity' sponsoring a -Everyone in private for the housing licence?." he says new scheme giving grunts of up in "The most impressive 12 inspections of multi-occupancy accommodation is getting a had £600 to tenants to help them save inch." accomodation. From this inspection Student opinion is clearly behind deal at the moment because of the landlords would he registered and tougher legislation. Richard Malach. energy in their own homes. Students their lack of decent alternatives.- said Ian thus entitled to rent out their Administration Secretary at LUU with low incomes who tent Moss. VP Welfare at NUS. properties. said: "It's nice to see MPs going property from a private landlord in "Standards are very low and there is But Hampson argues that 5 years someway to ensuring a good Leeds and have electricity as their little regulation because of the is too lung and that many problems, condition of care for student tenants. main source of heating can Chien Tammy Bradbury.fst year Textile Design. limited ability of cash-starved with gas tires in particular, could Unfortunately, it doesn't go far money to pay for insulation and authorities to enforce them." save arise in between inspections, and he enough " draughtprooftng so they can Students are being urged by both suggests that inspections take place Meanwhile the major estate money in the long run and keep their union execs 10 think carefully about agents also supported the proposals. houses warm

"The awanl for the hand that isn't Oasis." Water rates to rise Students cashing in FINANCIAL pressures on students been accused of over-charging Leeds Metropolitan University the national average. With the are set to get worse after a water consumers to pay for their receives more money per student average amount of funding Claire Markweli, 1st year Geography. rates rise of 5.6 per cent was Inefficiency. than almost any other university standing at £2444. the average announced, writes George Butler. Since privatisation prices have in the country. writes Andy Ketk. LMU student gets £2868, Yorkshire Water this week risen by an average of 72 per cent. The university conies second In comparison to this, announced the price rise in the face The company defended the rise. in a national league of funding students studying up the road at Compiled by Emma Humphries of 'critical' water levels in saying it was within industry per student based on figures Leeds University have £129 less reservoirs. Photos by Willem Jaspert watchdog guidelinesilowever they released by the Higher Education than the national average spent The company has spent denied claims that emergency water Funding Council. on them. a figure of £2315 approaching £100m on transporting services might he provided on the In real terms, LMU receives The university was ssater acro“ the region and have 999 number. about £424 more per student than unavailable fur comment. 4 News I+EDS SP DENT Frmigi)( Febmwry 2 1 PNW, HIGH RENTS AND POOR CONDITIONS `E' MAY NOT BE SO GOOD NEW research on the drug Ecstasy had revealed that it can cause permanent damage In vital Club-drug organs. writes Anna Carver. Researchers at Sheffield University have carried our post- `could cause mortem examinations of seven men who died from taking Ecstasy and a related drug. Eve. long-term, These indicate that some people who take Ecstasy may suffer longstanding liver and heart damage' damage. Co-producer of the report. Dr the pnwision of quid areas and Forest said: "Ecstasy akine can air conditioning in nightclubs." cause permanent damage to vital The Council is currently body organs." consulting nightclubs in Leeds Despite this. Leeds Addiction about their proposals. It could Unit suggests that use of Ecstasy take up to a year before a decision around the city has been is reached. increasing. The move has been widely Many students have also welcomed by students. Zinc .rimed the findings would have O'Hagart a second year Leeds tile effect on their behaviour. University student said: "It is a Andy Roberts. a second year good idea. You neat water Biochemist at Leeds University whether you are on drugs or not. said. "I don't think the studies because clubs get so hot that it can have received enough publicity. cause dehydration." WISE-LIP: To avoid There's a big difference between However, Dr Forest went on housing horrors (pic, people being worried about what to warn that "Ecstasy can cause left) pay a visit to Ecstasy will do to them and abnormal thirst and make you Unipoi (main plc) and actually stopping taking h..- unable to pass dilute urine. A use a checklist when In a direct response to recent combination of both of these viewing houses (below) concerns about Ecstasy use. things can lead to catastrophe. Leeds City Council is planning to "When you go to a rave, the make the free provision of fresh best thing to do is to make sure drinking water available in all one of you does not use drugs, so Leeds nightclubs. A it they notice that someone is spokesperson for the Council drowsy or dizzy. they can get housing checklist said. "We would also like In see help," MONEY - What is the rent houses? and how does it compare to other - What are you paying for in charges included? Your' rent e.g. are - Is the landlord reputable? Is there a deposit? Voting for the main Ccernuor - What is the contract and do ou - Have yoyou been given a copy ofy it understand - Have ? it covers?paid a deposit Leeds University Union and, if so, do you - Are you jointly knew wha I liable with the other- tenants? SICCIElyr - Does the house elections - Are there five appear to be secure? -Dutside doors? lever mortice locks on all the SAFETY

-- AreAre there any repairs that have to be carried oil, fire and burglar alarms fitted? Wednesday 28 February - In the event of a fire could you escape easily? - Have all gas, e/ectric and h Icked ec and safety ap p roved?plumbing appliances be. s there any beet. Thursday 29th February mould or damp in the - Does the toilet house? flush or leak? FIEUCCSR11679 - Is rumiterthere of sufficientoccupants ?furniture for the appropr Find out more about the candidates - Is the furniture in good condition and not brukeu? Is there enough storage space? ask questions at Hustings: Tuesday 27 February, 1pm in the Riley Smith Murder reward up Clarification Hall

'ME reward for information set alight at the BR station in Leeds Student would like to leading to the capture of the LS4. She had been killed at make clear in reference to an Burley Park station murderer least ten days before and kept article On page nine of the issue on February 16. 1996. was this week increased to in cold storage before being £50011, writes Mark Phillips. dumped. that Steve Sanger-Davies Choose your candidate carefully as Police hope the reward will Weeks after the murder. resigned his post as General Leeds act as an incentive to those who there is no sign of a police Manager of may have information about breakthrough despite an arrest Metropolitan University they will be running your Union the murder, which shocked last week. Students Union contrary to any local student residents. A man was later released inference that may otherwise Deborah Wood's body was without charge. have been drawn.

6 LEEDS 5711DEN7 VnthlyTebtuary 11 IQ% Comment & Analysis u"11111111 STUDENT OPINION Mad without method had time for a bar of chocolate At last the now. a man named Mavis dastardly deeds were done and th POCALVPSE Creut - sufficient to e i'hic column has member filtered back to the chamber. extinguish any nanremts rolling up their sleeves for the blue id I-spy a been observing the of gnavitas the trial century. prepiksterous world might still have had - When the fog cleared Mere was au student politics did not hesitate to sign of Young. Nor Clement nor n identify Martin Peter the ee or for so long that the tragic HACK two of the other discipka. The few short Young as the man he pc bills .ti remaining members looked around obsessions of your average :1 11 .1'5 1,1) skeich of student ► had warned to leave the uneasily. slowly beginning to :rev der constitutional law-spotter pale union foyer during the declaring time and again in the union: "It the meeting was inquorate ancicotednage by comparison. elections. It was three-nil and Young was is right. I know it's right. and we will get ahead. Where was Young for the metal h has seen highs. though not too looking more guilty than DJ Simpson. it through here se the collective will is on constitutional talks? Had he spotted a term Matadi, meanwhile, could be seen many, and lows, often involving our side, we will win the arguments semi colon out of place in the daetuniati grinning smugly. apparently relishing members of Exec either quoting rule- because we are right." The dangers of a and gone away to make the alteration? every moment of his Exec colleague's gigani books or trying to hurl them at each remark simply elivfeidenstudt herrying:ptosingethy Were he and Malach wmeding on the downfall. This Mails are brain hats Fates office floor, their hands round etra other. Bureaucracy and petty politics because it is now well-documented that Young's solution apparently entered a new dimension o other's throats? Had he have been reassuring constants like Malach and Young are more usually the compkeed his consciousnese. granting him a metemorphosis from naive phikesuphy death and uutes. But never before best Id bosom friends. one might almost spatial, transcendental insight AMERAS in the city now has the author felt compelled to say brothers The strength of their undergraduate that mere mortals cannot centre are the latest don a sandwich board and par the affection for each other is legendary: the Malach and Young double act will go hope to understand. The weapon in the push to strtrts bearing a legend thus: "End of constitution is his bible. C the union is nigh." down alongside Marx and Engels, Simon defeat crime in Leeds. and Garfunkel. Dennis the Menace and enshrining God's Word on These moves will he This week something happened_ It had how the union should he been coming for a long time. more than Grasher. All year one has had to stand welcomed by people who feel hack in sheer wonder at the level of run: he is the Christ figure, anyone nenlieeel, but when it same it WaS sent on a divine mission under threat from crime. which devastating. Some broke down in tears, camaraderie as Young eulogises about his chum's utter incompetence while Malach even at the sac'rific'e of his includes the majority of 11..txds. other were in shell :shuck, there was the returns the favour with a glowing: "He'll public image. The parallels student population. %me of desolation that people feel at the with David kke. the Green end of the line. In the words of Richard crap on his friends, he's pulled this union If the cameras brine the benefits to pieces, he's not respected by the staff or Party member who went Matadi. Administration Secretary at batty, are alarming. their supporters claim. crime will he LULL "We hest the union to night students, he's completely incumpetent and swept from the streets in question. radii:dual and he's lucked my job up The new religion of it had begun as a minim meeting Youngimanity already has Nowever, although this change will of Union Council. Thick unread agendas. completely." a small band of 'almost guarantee a short-term drop in minutes that Malach hadn't done properly. Back in court Young was delivering an worshippers on Exec. all .Street crime. it will have no hearing lame attempts at humour by Martin impassirmed defence on his own behalf, of whom are y-meri Young. Normality. however, was soon to perhaps because one from Clement was on the king-term city-wide crime and women either he overthrown: this is election season, and the only alternative. In the best tradition of figures. and represents a considerable Itemise they have been Young was appealing against courtroom dramas we had the defendant. threat to our civil liberties if the aware that Judge Bruce Hartley was hypnotised by the new system is abused disqualification front the NUS Conference ballot earlier in the day. already reaching for his block cap. Messiah or because they II It is believed that criminals will producing a stunning display of rhetorical can't be botheted to quickly come to avoid the streets in The Financial Abair Secretary had heen convicted of heaking rules hy logic to brilliantly swing the case and argue about pi detente question, which will no doubt be the prove beyond reasonable doubt that he logic. Naturally enough, largest. mote [imminent ones rather than canvassing for votes near the ballot box_ 'Ihe jury had met for two hours and was not in rain caneeteang to the union however. there is a the dark alleyways which cnsscruss some foyer but picking up liner and so should devil with a tail and of the areas most densely populated by delivered its verdict after long and careful deliberative Twenty minutes later us be awarded a knighthood for his services two horns in this story. students. Aside from the avant:tit that to the environment and his name is the camerae may simply drive visible members said they had changed their mind and maybe Young wasn't such a bad That was the fairytale version • Young Richard Malneh. crime to pastures new, it is bard not to onaniporeni toy after all irrearmahly this commuted isn't really that good at logic. For all we So far has the ounstitutional neurosis 11110 feel that one's civil liberties are being know he might many have been innocent gone that Malach finds himself in unholy spiritual sup erbeing radiating gnesinees gradually eroded by the continuing an I Ith hour reprieve kir Young. who by then hail doubtless but the only reason he did alliance with General Secnetary Rachel from the skies above the union building? onslaught of such authoritarian measures. get off was because he Faulkner. another kitten angel who dares Nut Messiah Young. No &Isiah:Mut For those of us who believe that crime mined out the ()Id to challenge the Yarns Godhead. They was picking up his hall and going home. should be stopped at the roots and not at conspiracy theory: —The is and their supporters have resisted the There was nothing more to say en the the branches, there has been little to cheer a %With-up! People have steamroller at the cost of slanging conetitutiun, he held, because he had about over the last few years. The current set out front the beginning matches, flouts of team, money that isn't given the Wont and his VeNd was final. government, and especially the current to stitch me up in this Exec's to spend and. of course, the The resistance of Faulkner. WW1 and Home Secretary, Michael Howard, election. I tonne who they Annual Genenul Meeting. the rest of Union Council was batik. They espouse authoritarianism as if it is some are" You'd have thought The AGM, you'll understand, is quite could nor argue with what Martin Young kind of panacea for a brave new world, he was facing Joe an important thine. the coronation and cup knew to be true. reciting the need to crackdown on crime McCarthy and the final of the union's political year. That it Outmanoeuvred and sabotaged by ar every turn until the whole country committee of un-LUU should achieve. a Lmma: attendance I if Young's professional foul, Union Council starts to believe it. activities. such was the 500 members is usually pmblemmic was a men skeleton and so, according in But anyone who lives in Leeds 6 paranoia; yet it did enough. Than the people oreaniong it the rules, tacked any authority. It would certainly prefer that the problem succeed in making should spend hundreds of poundds on disintegrated at appalling speed and so, was simply not there in the first place, Young look like an publicity and multiple agendas and still with it. did the last lingering hopes ill Or rather than feeling slightly less thmatened opptessc*J minoeity. not net the meeting on is unforgivable. Annuli' General Muting. Even then, m when new prevention meanies are which at LULI is The nightmare %amen) was to be their the rubble of union civilisation. loyal implemented. Nobody believes that the (=ugh to fate, as reported elsewhere in this paper. disciple Jane Astrid Deviate Levitt not culture of enminality will miraculously automatically win the but it didn't always have to be Chair way. bring herself to condemn Martin Young evaporate from Leeds 6, lust of all the hears and minds of All die higwig,s had to do was get round divine - she too la the nom as if drawn police, who have to think long-term. just ab01.11 everyone. the Wee, agree on two tiny constitutional by a magnet_ As fix the rem. words Nu mugger, rapist. or burglar will stop Must disturbingly. clausmc and the AGM good times could seemed to fail. even for Richard Malach. plying their particular trade on account of however, it soans roll They were pawns in a grander game the some new security 03111CM, just as Young genuinely does It was supposed to happen at Union Young and his acoleatc had played with nobody simply *eldest() become a believe the farces of Council where, after the excitement of mugger. rapist, or burglar because of the devilish craft and cunning darkness are closing putting Young un trial for crime against Things all apart, the cenur cannot lack of such measures. People turn to a in on him. lie walks life of crime as a humility, members settled down to the hold) Mere anarchy is loosed upon the reaction to social about the. union like problems. especially those pertaining to more conventional business of arguing world. Thus was the numbed despair a man pueseased. his sense that the order family life, education and employment about toilet paper. All knew the immediately after. the already been eyes growing larger and colder, and talks consinution would come up eventually so worshipped by student politicians had prospects.. of eountry-wide compiracim on the pan It would he facile and pointlees to strapped into the electric chair - thus and he settled once and for all in a finally given way to a dark age of etrae, fulfilling Matadi 'e lifetime ambition - of everyone from militant feminists to the civilised manner. and no one thought sit down and talk out their pmblene rage against the Tore policies of the het Union of Jewish %dem to people who 16 yeare but libertarians across the though the latter would probably have anything of it when Young moved that had proved too much - they found they forgotten to turn on the power anyway.) don't want to live tip a tree in Newbury, hem of business to the end of the agenda. had to walk out instead, blowing their country would relay much support and Must of all he fears the evil machinations respect to any politician who has the Now it was the retrial, with Young They would still get onto it.;init f nails sacred AGM open It was self- sporting a suitably conviet-style shaved of anyone who asks if they can have a they did although having a quick lag annihilation and anarchy: a final gusto to stand against the tide ()I' look at his brand new union constitution, "toughness" and to pupae a better head and aided by demon lawyer lath) break before getting to the nifty gritty indictment of the whole Clement - fast blood to the prosecution. honed over several months of Socratic seemed like a good idea at the time process. For this was the thought-out plan to tackle crime in the dialogue., and now so damn long run_ He sat emotionlees in the dock, eves ()effect that The fags outside the meeting rum: all night of the apocalypse. staring ahead unseeing, as the court heanl he will bomb the union before allowing humanity was there. In this smoke-filled whenthe black farce letters alleging he'd committal the any interfering rat to change the small corridor of 'power' the factions were there came to an end and the heinous crime of uttering the words "NUS for all to see - year could see beyond the circus tent collapsed in SEX -RATED: Sorting the Conference" and "me" in the same The evreetaution has become an smoke, Plots were hatched, sumeeles on the clowns. censors. pages 10-11 sentence. Two-nil. Then the fiat witness, obsession for Yi lung. He has been heard exchangtxt deals struck - .sruncone even I I 6 Com' meni & Analysis LIFXDS 411.1DENT 1,ndsy iiebrurty LI, 1996

"WILL the sheep now arriving at platform nine please take note..." I'm growing tired of catching people reading brand new copies of Irvine Welsh's excellent Trainspouing, the fihn Golden oldies? of which is released today. Anyone 01 ATE But they're not. We've all been am clan 6'4", which never fails to wanting to be in the vanguard of old people. I'm CO cultural development should've read it brain-washed by images of draw gasps of admiration front the never rude to them. I shrivelled old bags). But imagine last year. If you must read it now, at smile politely when they idealised OAPs. We think of least try to hide the fact. Thora Hird, the old duffer off the reversing the situation - getting on a bus, targeting the OAP and saying: recount their tedious war Werther's Originals advert and ''O00000h aren't you old.,,-bow old stories, and never shout with Compo, Foggy and Clegg. Even are you then love' no, let me frustration when they tell me though most old people are mad, guess...you've got to be at least about the weather. But we rude and smell of piss, no-one will 100....oriocitt ....84? What does admit it. your mother feed you an?" just don't seem to click. But that was before Morris And this respect manifests mon peop e However. I've always had a Spurling came cm the scene. 67-year- itself as a divine right. to spout hard time convincing anyone old Morris appeared in court last week shite unchecked. We allow old else that OAFs aren't going to charged with lifting five gold chains people to gibber on about it from a shop in Yorkshire. This wasn't snowing more in the old days, yet be trusted - leave them alone hit ack Morris's first run-in with the law. In a despite the permanent winter they they say, they're just harmless career spanning 50 years. the one-man all had to endure. they still left old dears. crime-wave was responsible for their doors wide open all day to several jewel thefts, netting him test their crime theory. millions and enabling him to live the But you daren't open life of Riley on the Riviera. your mouth because A HURRAH for Jarsi, bk, You'd expect someone with his they would claim that Cocker, the lead reconi to he cent down for a while but nobody had ever winger of Pulp who Morris used his old age as a defence spoken to them like was arrestial for and the judge let hint walk. On the that in their whole life - rushing net stage face of it justice has nor been done before and have a heart % during Michael Spurling should have been sent down. attack right there and Jarksion's set at the -.., his past form indicating the jinni then. lints last Monday would find it almost impossible to re- Even Morris was The Hues have come offend. However. Morris has dispelled part of the myth that a long ea.) since 111,- from the public imagination the notion old people are nice. At ultra-tame Sinn Ft's that all old people are nice and for that his trial. he was % 1 would like to buy him a pint. described in the papers dehacle not so long hack. Old people command much respect as a Raffles-type character, a Jars is should he 4.,,Ingnaulatet from us young 'uns. While I have no gentleman thief, proving my fie inking a shot at Jack bit. intention of forgetting that they fought suspicion that old people can do INt! diver) "Earth Song' in the war for people like toe. I object no wrong. Was putting a dampener lin die to the way that this is used as an Old people are the scourge ot evening. Forgot Britpop, excuse for downright rudeness_ the nation. Except my gran. see more Flinlop. Whenever on a bus. I'm always because she will be reading this accosted by some garrulous blue rinse column. Jars : sorted lot: F.'s and whidi obviously Ciiminal mine Public who simply must ask me how tall I Grandee 1.

HOUSEHUNTING, I WONDER why the Editor depends on bow much you let what a nightmare! /- Go on, defend your allowed such a prejudiced Tenner winning yourself get involved. I was Like many first year Granny. Get back at that fogey- article as "Thai's and Lows" horn and brought up there letter students around this bashing Tim Gallagher. Wouldn't {Feb 16) to be published in for over 31) years, but I have time I am embarking him go two Leeds Student. fulfilment, you cannot over never attended the sex shows you love to see on the task of Walking down the streets generalise by saying that although I could do so rounds against Jarvis? finding a warm. of London, as a tourist, you Thailand is full of prostitutes whenever and as often as I comfortable house Writs to: have a wide range of choices: and sex-shows. If you walk want. for next year. Leeds Student newspaper the Changing of the Guard, just five minutes further At 18 rears of age, guys, Initially I thought Leeds University Union the Thames, Hampton Court. down the same street you there are far more PO Box 157 this would be an shopping at Harrods. or the will find S Bora village where intellectual options for you to LEEDS LS1 1Ula exciting experience sexual satisfaction of Soho. a lot of stylish tourists prefer explore in Thailand. Fax; (0113) 246 7953. and it was, for die Choosing to go to Soho is to spend their precious short Travelling with selective eyes e-mall: [email protected] first day. Now into your own personal time in Thailand to see and an open mind to the second week and preference. But you cannot appreciating the traditional interpret what you have seen looking for a house it is generalise that Britain is a Thai dishes and enjoying the would he a smarter o ay to "because we've been broken becoming unbearable. land rich with prostitutes terrific cultural shows. view the world, into four limes this month"? My lectures have gone out and sex shops. As for the prostitute issue, Renting a house to live in of the window and my a So if you went to every big city has these for the next year or so is Pafichart attention is devoted to this Thailand's Pat-Pong for unfortunate women, not only major commitment and one Piyanutch &, Lilian time-consuming task, basic biological urge Bangkok. However it that is essential as a student. Why is ti so difficult to Of course, I am not looking find a four bedroomed house for Buckingham Palace but a LAST week Leeds Student ran burglary. We already have we told the censors to get a life with a living room. shower, half-decent house would be a double page spread to codes of conduct and bans on and step asking to be wrapped central heating and in an nice. Oh well, my adventures explain the dangers in Leeds ft fascists and intolerant groups. in cotton wool. I'm organising appropriate area? This with the A-Z and my - r'ght down to how many We WII.L have tolerance it a meeting about the effects of includes not living next dour intrusion into people's homes coats were stolen this week, seems Unfortunately the result these panics. Anyone with to old age pensioners or a will continue until I find one. Every day there is another or these campaigns never helps examples of the consequences family with five young kids. 1 just wish it was easier! mugging or fascist sighting us. We have more paranoia of these restrictions should and preferably next to a pub. Anne Rawsthorne and the conclusion is always about crime, more restrictions contact me c/o RCS. LUU Also, why is it that when you (Trinity & All Saints) that we need more protection_ on what we can say and do - porters_ ask the present occupants. why they are leaving, they. This week we were told that and we still have racism. Michael Savage, Wow, I can believe you've either say "because the we needed CCTV to stop I think that it's about lime Crazy Neo-Leninist been looking for a whole landlord's dodgy" or week! You pear thing.

News , I :F DS C itair.!Nrr Friday Fuhroory 2:',. 19% 9 OFF CAMPUS HARDSHIP NIGHT IN THE BLACK CITY BOMB ALERT Hull student Chris Jordan got the shock of his life when he found t:49.000 and not the £4 he. had expected WRECKED in his bank account, He HI JON 111,011-N1'f Ic reported the find and a grateful Midland Bank A CANCELLED club night organised as a benefit spokesperson congratulated for student hardship has come under fire for Spud you hint on his honesty and awarded him the generous charging double the normal price for its tickets. sum of CI n Mit-field's Hard Times had don't like been scheduled to put on an event in LIJU's refectory, but High prices EArING d baked potato will OWN GOAL it was cancelled due to poor never he the same again tits ticket sales. Fecklebh footballer Tim blamed for dm: students atter they were Urquhart-Jones has scored The event had been organised seriously assaulted by a gang of to support the Campaign for Free seven own grads in just 11 around 14 watts. writes boron Education Fund, but ironically games, Tim attempted its club night Teduiale tickets were priced at f 14, double restore his haltered pride Leeds -University students the cost of normal Hard limes protesting that he has scored Takeshi Mealor, Jon Brumley events. One at the right and. cancellation and Paul Ashley were walking As a result only 190 of the Darren Lenmark, a first year along Vicar Lane when the THE heightened sense of had to be dealt with by. an 1800 available tickets were solid_ Law student said "I think it's a bit attack owned in the early hours IN THE DRINK danger created by the latest army disposal team, who It:data-Mica] for the organisers to of last Friday morning. IRA bombing campaign found it to he a raise alarm. Annoyed charge such a high price for an The trio were approached by Trawlerman Sean Edwards reached Leeds this week, Gary Roach, 1_1111's Publicity event designed to help relieve the gang and one of them thought he'd made the catch writes Priya Modhvadia. Police set up a wide Secretary. said he was student hardship." approached Takeshi and of his life when he netted Many students were cordon and bad to tell disappointed at the cancellation Mat Shallard. a first year demanded he hand over a baked 115 barrels of Guinness off amongst those caught up in people to stay indoors (pies of the event. and commenting on History student described the cost potato he was eating. the Cornish coast. But a city centre bomb scare on shove l_ the price said: "I think they saw as "totally unreasonable and itra FITainiry. a 2nd year unfortunately for Sean the Wednesday as they One officer said the the opportunity to make good unaffordable for the average Civil Enginneer said: "This barrels were empty. auditioned for the next public were being too money and went for it" student." bloke then hit Takeshi In the series or Blind Dale at the casual: "It's not until a Students who would Organisers Hard Times, who face and then headbuthxt him Holiday Inn hotel. bomb actually goes off in potentially have hough! tickets will he launching a new club an anti his nose just exploded." Compiled by Merlon Bird j A suspect parcel in a Leeds that people will confirmed they were put off by the Fleadrow in Leeds during The attacker then hit Jon in building opposite the hotel begin to take it seriously." the price of the event March. were unavailable fur the face•XtiOcking out some 01 continent_ his boom teak

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j Lib INDIRA DASI:GUPTA chi and ROBIN VAN I WOULD you want your getting into the wrong hands is to place sexually explicit material? Or should books and magazines cointaining explicit such publications carry age certificates? little sister reading a material on the highest shelves of their `blow by blow' account of stores. Not only is it unlikely that this Jennifer Girls' magazines are definitely the correct way to will deter curious youngsters, it is also getting much worse. I can still remember administer oral sex ? extremely unlikely retailers will take on sitting at the hack of the class room at If like thousands of other pre- board such a moral responsibility. As the age of 12, innocently giggling with Mark Goodall. an employee in the Leeds my mates at the contents of 'Just pubescent girls, your little sister branch of Waterstones confessed. The Seventeen'. But. 1 can't say I remember reads TV Hits, then ensuring that only stuff we would probably put on the the pages being overloaded with you keep your copy of Cosmo higher shelves are the hooks which are accounts of acceptable sexual dos and out of her reach is almost most likely to get nicked. not the books don'ts back then. At that age 1 still deemed to be uffen,sive." Nicky Kemp. enjoyed going to the odd pyjama party certainly a complete waste of Public Relations Officer at W H Smiths and talking about who I fancied. whet time as she is probably already agrees." Although we try to put than who had been my latest conquest ot an expert on the art of giving magazines which we think contain what my favourite sexual position was. head. unsuitable material in their appropriate Although the average teenager in the 'TV IfiL is the magazine. popular place. we can't possibly look at every I990s has a more liberal attitude toward among I 0 to II year olds, which single feature in every single magazine. sex than members of the previous recently sparked off a furore by its so there is still decision to print a detailed guidelines on a good chance how to give a blow job on its pritlem that younger pages. This led to calls for such readers are Girls are receiving signals publications to put an age certificate on being exposed their cover‘. in order to prevent children to sexually and young teenagers from reading them. explicit inaedequacy, if they are se Suddenly the impact of litenaure, which literature." had previously been overlooked, became the focus for a lot of media anention and Leeds inactive or haven't reached Mary Whitehouse happily found herself Student a new subject to get irate about. decided to put Every other Conn of an carries some the censorship least 'stage two' by the ago form of guidline to indicate the nature of issue to a the material. even some CDs now carry a debate and parental advisory sticker for songs with asked two of our resident books boffins. 11meralit.n. this should not be imam* explicit lyrics. It would appear that while Jennifer Matthews. Rooks Editor and by magazines as a green light to mike it is not alright for a child of ten to listen Robin Van den Hende a reviewer for the their contents as sexually explicit as to 'Snoop Doggy Dog' or go and watch books pages - Do you think there is a possible, 'Nine and a Half Weeks' at the cinemas need fur literary censorship? it is still alright for that same child to Robin: People who get over-excited pore over the 'More' 'position of the THE DEMI about sexually explicit features in Os fortnight' and read books like 'Mein magazines, such as the 'More"posthal Kampf. . With the law as it currently Is it acceptable for magazines like 'TV of the week' just refuse to realise bow stands, the most co nseienscious retailers Hits' and 'Just Seventeen'. which are poor sex education in this country malls can do to prevent inappropriate literature read by young girls to freely print is. These magazines are just sornethall

10 Brit Awards casino Speech Take that RIP More Kate pies I JUICE> This WEEK'S filet4,teft

top single Emma Thompson's new version of Sense and Sensibility

ecru , V Supergrass - Going isn't all just frills and spills. CLARE LISTER says,

CA Out • The new single from swallow your pride and watch without prejudice the best newcomers of 1995. "...by the lime the trumpets seen him before?'. Hugh Cirant as ad at all. after her outburst on lying bastards and dashing kick in. you will be ven if you missed Pride Edward Ferrars. Elincw's suitor, is one meeting Greg Wise (Willoughby) at ready to feel the sun and Prejudice on T\. gentlemen. With no sex and no such memorable face. Indeed his the audition: "Marianne says that on your back and failed to realise that violence, the film comes alive by bashful and awkward character seems Willoughby lifted her as if she your stomach full of Clueless was based on mocking all its characters and to come directly front his experience weighed no more than a dry leaf, and harheque. Begone winter clouds r Enurtu.and didn't believe laughing at itself. Just as Au.sten in the police cells after his encounter that's exactly what Greg did. Mahe Singles reviewed on page 6 Persuasion could be released in took the piss when wilting semi- with Divine Brown. and his public left the room. I just fell on the toss I America on the big screen, it is autobiographical novels about the redemption will supposedly be said 'It's got to be him!! mean just now time to acknowledge society she grew up in. the completed with this film. Alan look at me!'" that Austen mania is film maintains this Rickman, meanwhile, adds Alongside this faultless sweeping the land. humour as Marianne gentlemanly grace and casting stands Emma etiquette, proving that top album Bring out the swoon in the Thompson, sliding he is not as evil as into the rote of bonnets and strong anus of her Die Hard Elinor with ease horse-riding Marina - This World and Body flowing skirts, suggested. and realism. Whik Are Marion the new the romanticism knight during a But it is the the producer Joy Division ? and mocking rain storm that ladies who steal remarked it a as Or just five black- irony, settle makes Leeds the show. as if Austen had clad chancers from hack and look like a Winslet, the hake written the part grim Macclesfield watch desert. in an array id with Thompson "...this album offer, Sense With director stars. proves she in mind, her a slab of severe and Sensihihor. Ang Lee on the is. alongside acting is power rock that possibly the (The Ewan McGregor ...... ) superseded by Me emulates the dizzy hest adaptation case Wedding Banquet. for Trainaporting, screenplay. This heights of of a classic ever E.al Drink Man the face of 1996. has already been Radiohead..." made on the big Winrum), the Portraying light- acknowledged by a screen. pereepoon and headed Marianne she Golden Globe Award, MIKE MATTH•WS and the new wave of The film retells the fintrock also on page 6 depiction of human brilliantly overdoes and the film is sure to story of two sisters, relationships is certainly every emotion from receive an Oscar for Bee Elinor (Emma Thompson), spot on. He trained the east happiness and love, to life- Adapted Screenplay next who's endowed with hyperbolic with some eccentric methods, which threatening illness and despairing month, one of seven nominutions. sense, and Marianne (Kate apparently worked, such as teaching depression. Apparently famed on set including Best Picture and Best Winslet - Heavenly Creatures), Winslet Tai chi to relax and setting kw her unscripted faints, and her Supporting Actress for Winslet. top movie each actor GCSE type homework on with romantic sensibility. Both are .outburst of tears tut being awranled the Unlike Shakespeare, sure to he their character. part. Winslet encompasses all that is writhing in his grave after recent impoverished and coping with the lksperado (18) Perhaps another reason for the Marianne, and to the trained Austen adaptations of his films on the big expectations of a If you like explosions. Laura Ashley success of the film is the strength of eye this acus.s looks as if she really is screen (one must mention Tarantino's shootouts and flamenco society, amid the trials and the cast_ Every face brings an Marianne, albeit nearly 200 yms on. soon to he released Macbeth as a so much that you don't tribulations of love-sick suitors. exclamation of 'Oh gal. where have 1 Indeed it may he doubted she has to laughable example), and unlike need a plot. then this is the film for you. A Baad Assert muthefucka of a movie. Won-boo! See the film, buy the book, get averse to making fun of herself, complaining about volcanic zits, constipation and shanng the tea towel (which in this Check ma the movie top 10 on page K insecurities about her thinysomething body. Desperado is reviewed in next week 'r Juice case will have lovely flowers Nor does she appear to he a terrible snob and although she does occasionally slip into and country cottages on it.) unavoidable luvvie-isms she pays as much attention in her diary to the film crew behind GEMMA WALLACE refrained he scenes as she does to her fellow actors and top book from purchasing said item but director, Ang Lee-. One thing she excels in are pen ponraits of read Emma Thompson's on set the people surrounding her. With just a few Natterjack by Niall diaries instead ... lines she convinces you that you've known Duthie them for years; "Sometimes Alan tRicktniu0 "A feast of words, It reminds me of the ow I in Beatrix Potter's trims with a delicious he irresistible part of this attractive Squirrel Ntakin. If you took lot' many liberties and sour language which film tic-in is not the meticulously with him I'm sure he'd have your tail off ut a leaves an uncertain. not Treproduced screenplay nor the !rice.- It's a delight to find out that the stars quite enjoyable. taste. -brilliant photography but Emma live up to their public image - Hugh Grunt Challenging, but worth Thompson's diaries. Though evidently really is a loveable fop, and Alan Rickman it." written for publication and consequently really is a laconic smoothie. self-censored, they nonetheless leave you The pages are filled with anecdotes and REBECCA HOWARD on feeling that you know the 'Queen of episodes which fill up their days oa the film the new novel that has set. it's evident that Emma Thompson enjoys echoes of foyre, Golding. Swift and Luvviedom` a little better and that you the film-making process but she doesn't Barnes. see page 5 actually find her rather likeable. glamourise it. She's just as likely to write Thompson's style of writing is chatty. about the tedium of waiting around on net or Muraa.roalIzit aisT le w. trieJein immediate and has a great sense of humour. the loneliness of living in an anonymous hotel She's reassuringly down to earth and not room for weeks on end as she is to wnte about

CINEMA SPECIAL 2/3 'Ruff Stuff Costume Drama madness prevails in Hollywood - we check out what the Good, the Cads and the Luvvies have on offer this year

PO MA - Austen-mania continues, with the original version of Clueless hitting our screens in the next few months. Gwyneth 'Seven' Pullmw and Ewan —Tratnspotting' McGregor star in this tale of a matchmaker and her matchniakees. JUDE - Thomas Hardy's Jude the Obscure gets the Hollywood makeover treatment and Kate Winslet's in it. Now there's a surprise. And if that wasn't enough the increasingly ubiquitous Christopher F.ccleston (Shallow Grave. Our Friends in the North) stars as Jude. HAMLET Whoever this Shakespeare bloke is, he's got a good agent. Kenneth Branagh directs this latest version which stars, um. Kate Winslet as Ophelia. An all-star cast includes Charlton Heston. Ken Dodd and Billy Crystal. Presumably Ken won't re-write it Victor Hugo, whose Hunchback of as an urbane romantic comedy called 'When Hamlet Met Notre Dame is sure to be given big, Ophelia.' endearing. soppy eyes in the TWELFTH NIGHT - Merrie japes abound as Trevor forthcoming Disney remake, Austen Nunn adapts the festive Shakespeare comedy, with his wile will be reclining in a smiling stupor Imogen Stubbs (who makes an appearance as Lucy in as her be come Wye in die 206 Sense and Sensibihty) heading the cast. Huzzah! Who dares century. Thompson deserves a to say the acting profession is full of nepotism? I'm sure medal for this she's very talented. Ahem Not only does she manage to RESTORATION - Not to be outdone, omit the irritating authorial voice- Hugh Grunt goes back a century or two in over. as in Wharton's Age of this adaptation of Rose Tremain's novel Innocence, but she succeeds in set in King Charles 1.1's court. Sam Neill capturing Austen's famed wit. and Meg Ryan join Hugh for the period placing lines fmm the book in the romp. Big hair and pointy beards prevail - actors' mouths: If you cannot think except on Meg. hopefully. of anything appropriate to say you CUTTHROAT ISLAND - It's not will please confine your remarks to Shakespeare. it's not really a costume drama. and Kate the weather." Thompson never Winslet's not in it. But it's about pirates. and they lived in suffers from this - indeed Hugh the olden days, so it kind of counts. Perhaps. Lucie noted that Thompson had "given herself a lot of very good She also improves on Austen's irony: Elinor cuttingly remarks to Marianne while the romantic hero mounts his horse. "Good work, Marianne. You have covered The Sonnets and soon you will deal with the Romantics, and then you will have nothing else to talk about." This sharp and sardonic piece is a masterpiece. conjuring up the early 19th century with ease. Without Branagh for d istraction. Thompson effectively conveys her love for literature onto the screen, and captures Austen's comic richness at a time when she is most fashionable. Sense-ational and Sensitive.

the parties and the banter. should make the film accessible to everyone, The one thing that is missing . and quite not just Austen devotees. Thompson has played understandably so. really - is dirt. It was during up the humour of the novel and has even this period that Thompson met Greg Wise, the injected a shot of much needed passion - actor with whom she hooked up after her though you wouldn't be surprised if this was separation from Kenneth Branagh. All we get just an excuse to snug Hugh Grant. Thompson about Wise is a tantilising "Greg Wise turned herself is quite unashamed about it. "Kissing up .. full of beans and looking gorgeous. Hugh was very lovely. Glad I invented it. Can't Ruffled all our feathers a bit," while Branagh is rely on Austen for a snag. that's for sure." not mentioned at all_ However, though we'd all During filming the whole Hugh Grant/Divine love to hear that Em had a string of lovers Brown incident blows up, if you'll pardon the during her marriage or that Ken used to drink expression. Thompson is full of sympathy for methylated spirits and walk around the house him herself, but it is with a certain amount of in women's clothing, that sort of gossip would glee that she records actress Gemma Jones' be out of place in this book, which is comment, "She had very big lips, that hooker free spare pair worth £70 essentially a new take on 'The Making of the ... Bet it was a good blow job:- Film" genre made possible by both The whole package is a delight. It's Thompson's knack for writing and her obvious beautifully produced and if Thompson wasn't intelligence. so bloody nice to everyone it could even be This is where the other half of the hook, the quite a racy read. As it is she proves to be just screenplay, comes to the fore as Jane Austen's as acerbic as Austen ever was and if the latter novel was adapted by Thompson herself over a were around today Thompson could certainly period of five years in between working on give her a run for her money. other projects. She's just won a Golden Globe One thing 1 can guarantee is that in thirty for Best Adapted Screenplay for this years' time The Memoirs of Emma Thompson achievement and she's widely touted for Oscar Unbound will be absolutely unmissable. Order success. It is well deserved success too as the your copy now. script is a sparkling piece of work which

JUICE > MUSIC

OWEN GIBSON reports back from The Brits and asks: Natterjack by Niall Duthie, what's the point?.... BOOKREVIEW (Faber & Faber) £8.99

The Brit Awards. Of asking the eternal question of atterjack Duthie's second the author's hand has begun to eeling supersonic? Too course, Oasis are why CDs are so expensive novel, is an astonishing tremble." Such phrases echn with In tact thr right. Oasis deservedly god's own rock N read. Unusual, humble and the frank logic of the far-fetchea Fswept the board at the 'naoll band. the whole introspective, it is the Shearer labels himself as "alit,- annual fast of sniping and best thing since business autobiography of a "human sexttal".easting an interesting corporate backslapping that is The Beatles and reminds you natterjack", one R.T Shearer. perspective on his relationship h. nobahly of that liberal As a child. he is transposed from Macbeth, Sexuality is dealt with English a. cure for Spain to the grey dank of a Scottish the oscillation that it is, as are the The Riders cancer. but teacher in his hoarding school. There he meets other issues which comprise BOOKREVIEW do we brown slacks Macbeth who become:, his friend. Shearer's bell-jar of a life: by Tim Winton. (Picador) £5.99 really who was so his mentor and ultimately the very adoration, idolisatiiin. guilt, ithiew need desperate to he pivot of his existence. In spite of jealousy, language, death. Duthie one of "ver kids' uses Shearer in crass the Empty and alone. some the circuity trajectory of Shearer's iin Winton is that he'd say something of a he is forced to ponder fifty life, he undergoes changes ohich boundaries, and his imperative lo things like '`Oh explore contributes to the prodigy: at 35 he how well we never know year old reflect the direction of other lint T Yeah. Blur and magnificence of the book. has published his 13th each other: even those to fat -voyage" literature, such as Joyce's bloke Oasis - cool man' Portrait of the Young Man as an Duthie writes with the cleverness book and won numerous whom we are closest Admittedly. awards. The Riders. remain strangers with record Artist, and Golding's The Spire. of Julian Barnes, and the schematic 'The Baas are shonlisted for last year's unguessed secrets. Not only is the book an insight form of Graham Swift, His lumbering forward Booker Prize. and now With the into the complexity of relationships prolonged use of the natterjack into the twentieth released in paperback, is disappearance of his wife. aompany and the irnpossiblity of their toad as metaphor for Shearrea century. but at least the Australian writer's the certainties of Scully's executive to tell us so eategoritiation, it is a feast of personality, harks buck to the finest achievement to life are shaken. A sense The whole thing is in the days when Phil Collins words. It brims with a delicious wolfish character of J.C. Pawy" won everything and Sam Fox date_ of cultural isolation and So clearly an excuse for and sour language which leaves an Wolf Solent. Arguably, Duthie does Scully i6 a personal inferiority dog the record industry to get fluffed every single autocue she uncertain, not quite enjoyable. it better than all of them in all threc hardworking. good- him, plunging him into pissed on free was given, everybody knew it taste. There are facets of Shearer respects_ My one reservauon is Ito was complete bollocks. Now if, natured, if naive, Aussie self-doubt and perplexity. iampagne and to which you are forced to identify a criticism and more a caution to bloke, who would do Scully's desperate continue the self taken ever so seriously try the with, which you comfortably the reader This is challenging, but anything for his wife and odyssey is haunted by an perpetuating circle of media (who use it to sell thought were exclusive only to worth it. daughter • even renovate uncanny image, Spectral "highest grossing acts" papers), the record companies yourself. "I do not know if printers a ruined shack in the knights appear in the that it's hardly worth (who use it to sell. cr, records I \ have a special print ID indicate that Rebecca Howard middle of rural Ireland. ruins of a nearby Norman which his wife has keep, long-dead horsemen I persuaded him to buy on waiting, looking, a whim. But when Scully watching, for something. goes to meet his young in death as in life. It is a family at the airport. his ghostly reminder to let daughter Billie arrives go, to forget, to let the brit awards: alone. His wile is not on wounds heal_ The the flight. narrative closes on this Scully embarks on a note of resigned loss, of frantic journey through quiet despair, Europe to find her. never The Riders is written knowing why or for with the pace and whom she has suddenly suspense of a thriller, at "I deserted him, nor where its centre a mystery she has gone, Slowly, the which is never, can never. realization that his wife be solved. This is a uperfarce? does not want to he painful, bruising book_ found, that she is gone Greg Moore forever, dawns on him. Artist for the eight hundreth time running when hc's quite clearly gone mad and stopped making any decent records? Awards ceremonies - bunch of arse. mate. The awards for hoary old rockers David Bowie, BM Jovi and Annie Lennox revealed the true colours of the industry fat cats. Noel Gallagher hitting the nail on and the head when he called them, the artists "a bunch of tossers who think themselves (who use it to boost people like Sting and Bowie their already swollen ego's) are the cutting edge of It's telling that the only major music." Equally galling was award voted for by the public, the blatant dismissal of he who obviously anything vaguely left of centre; bellowed along weren't so Radiohead, Pulp and to after tifteen pints and concerned with having lead singers who Ittok a looking "cool". bit. well. queer don't they? managed to went to Take That Jarvis Managed to steal the maintain a healthy disrespect for the fantastic show anyhow by for the whole affair: refusing to "Back for good" disrupting the set of perform at the ceremony, But Massive the Satanic getting pissed up, Attack for best Micheal sweating like troopers dance act? Jackson (oh. and generally HELLO. Surely sorry, I forgot continuing to re-enact they didn't that he was -A Hard Day's Night` release a record the Son of for the nineties. But Get a this year +wool. God and was even a clean sweep of albums don't going to heal Brit Awards doesn't count I and the world and save you from the Ikhat Ai lin turn all the little inevitable critical 0 e Left field. The orphans into backlash; just ask pool e old Damon, who didn't even Chemical Brothers jumped up squirts in et al? Elasoca 'ninon:twat for Benetton outfits - you couldn't merit a feature in the gossip on March 18th. hest new act when they debut es en Blur being emelt) help aostotp.7 that Jarvis had columns this year: Don't look sin& came out two years ago' ignoird for the horrific crime !1..1;, ,,! .; back in anger, mate, Prince as Best International of poichicing records that can't machine gun t Illanklully. Oasis also

14 the best in music brought to you by • the garage • COCKPIT

gary Contribution: Golden tonsils and song writing aside. !us dry sense Cr humour is much underrated and will he useful in his rimy year cabana career. Golden moment: All the ballads they 've ever done. Anything when he gets to stand still. Nina likely to: Marry Elton John, duet with Maria} Carey, the From do- nut overdose.

mark Contribution: Androgynous pre- pubescent cuteness. despite a greater thrusts-per-second ratio than either Jason or Howard. Golden moment: The "Babe" single, stunning dance duet with Jason on the Party Live from Wembley video. Most likely to: Form Robson and Jerome-style duet with Robbie, become a holiday camp children's entertainer HANNAH JONES charts the rise robbie and demise of Contribution: Cheeky chaniry Take That and chap. overshadowing his true status asks, wil we as the hest all-rounder in the group. ever see their Ike Golden moment: "Everything Changes". his skin-wearing star again? forget turn in the "Sure" video, the but/cut. istory said goodbye. their pop member would drop out. so he reputation as himho puppets. became mask. Quit while you're ahead. You Most likely to: Win an Oscar, join history taxicab is waiting. recruited for a fifth. one of hard-working, talented tads who won't catch embarrassing efforts from Oasis, wind up an embittered old After almost four year of Mrs Williams from Stoke-On-Torino were prepared to play the promo game, the four leftovers peaking at No. 22. lush. h tummedented success. Take thought her was hound for but were no longer anyone's fool. Sure. What are we left with? A dignified That are calling it a day. After the tears. stardom. so she sera in young Robbie's Nigel Martin-Smith was still the boss, and adult farewell performance at this the hurt and the anger, there will come CV. He auditioned for the boys but the boys had cut some of the strings week's Brit Awards and a glorions, a period of wistful acceptance and the isuiging Jason Donovies "Nothing and were now writing, singing live tune orgy Of a Greatest Hits Jason realisation thin they were something Can Divide Us", disposable pop trivia with increasing freouratey and compilation. Add sonic squelchy disco Contribution: Dance supremo pretty damn speciaL An ID-matched fans) and Take Thai were born. inventing some of the best dancing bits remixes of the earlier sungs and there'd with thighs yr al could use to crack group which included a school- Many months of in pop. The No I singles and awards he a classic hack catalogue. walnuts leaver, vehicle !minter. and tea- pate slog followed. poured forth. The next few months may sec the Golden moment: His Pink Floyd boy made real pop music The teeny malts But what ultimately lifted Take mernorim turn sour, as the eases go to cover on the last tour and his credible again and became were quick to That above their peers was an court and the books are published, but mocking of Gary's clothes sense some oldie most pick up on incredible series of live performances. what the hell. We'll never forget where on the Everything Changes video consumate professionals the That Their innovation and energy was they came here from. compilation. of their generation. With the unmatched. Bad Boys Inc. and Worlds New Kids Apart, there pale Most likely to: Dance with Many years ago. a man with more music sense in spending so contemporaries. Madonna, write a novel. date Fay e his little finger than much time coulil only watch Dunaway. Robson and Jerome have in m their in wonder, and their whole lawram Is , G,-- native USA. gradually drill had a dream. He was they were apart -rr also TAKE THAT howard trawling round the Saturday clamming for developed 3 morning children's TV shows a young. MINIX Chi:MUSH!: , marketable pap act sharing press. Conhi ►ution: Choreography, body- promoting an ma called Damian the essential collection piercing, general butt of jokes. (remember his shameful rendition of who would put on dumb claming and Gukien moment: Sarong-wearing -The limewarn" 't His prodigy was costumes. smile sweetly and would duties an On Disc: appearing with a hunch of American show up for interviews and photo ever-emertaining MIMIC dance dynamics live at Wembley, Satisfied (Live! 1010_ - cheesehalls called New Kids On The slum an the drop of a meticulously fashion. "Never Forget" lend youths. Best to Give Good Feeling Block. The Yank sensations were rude, adjusted baseball cop. These Mane lads But you could forget the twenty minute profile of Could It Magi lazy and arrogant. -Blimey" thought paid their dues. see Robbie's Be his tortoise on the Changes Nigel Moran-Smith_ 'it vow had an act But they struck it big with a cover departure coming. Why. Can't I Wake tip With You compilation. Like this who were cheerful and of Harry Manilow's "Could It He imagine spending Pray Most likely to: Open a pet shop, actually wanted to work. just think Magic". A number of high-profile the years from Relight My Fur become a hermit. what you could achieve". Always one appearances made an older audience sit your GCSE's to Everything Changes •=111111 with an eye for a nice little earner. up and take notito. Or at least sit up and your graduation Babe Nigel began to put his idea into say "that blond one's quite good- being ogled and Love Ain't Here Anymore .4( It practice looking. I suppose." harassed and you Another Crack In My Heart Already on his hooks was a pudgy "Pray" saw the mature Take That can't blame hint Sure come together. With Gary's mist His sarcasm and vocalist and songwriter by the name of Back For Good WNW.- Gary Barlow. He was talented but a bit grown-up composition came image. f,''1°11.eonmgtetrillut Never Fart 1111111111%:. ...wave light in the charisma department. He vocals and video which were mow embarrassing How Deep Is Your Love brought in Matt Owen, an angelic stylish. confident and credible than When he left. the dogsbody in Martin-Smith's empire, ever before Theo styling became bubble hunt and two dancers. Jason Orange and exemplary front then on - gone were the balance was Howard Donald. Smith thought that, the matching baseball jackets and thrown, So this On Screen: goodbye given the contrived circumstances, embarrassing shoe fetishes of previous split could he the Everything Changes Compilation Video somettung was bound to give and one teen stars shrewdest move Homeroi is Video - Live From Manchester G-Mex The tan base grew wider, and they they've ever 15 JUICE>

performance in comparison with 1 bachelor boy still living at home, and the gossip too naive to realise the previous actors. An the hint of everyone occasionally repetitive script. Looks who's that she is together with the monotonous. els-e's jokes. Director Andrew whining voice of actress Jane Manley has linked the three Talking Heads entittedA Ludy of Montgomery, resulted in a Letters. ii Chip in the Sugar and slightly disappointing final act. It talking now A Woman of No Importance to did, however, succeed in form a coherent performance encapsulating the serious with each story acquiring elements running through the as Talking Heads significance from the others. Talking Heads series, such I 1 arrogatc l I ieaur In A Lads of Letters, Gillian isolation and sadness. Goodman as Irene Ruddock gave The audience is encouraged r those who have not a particularly powerful delivery. to interpret the stories as they encountered Alan Bennett's capturing the audience's attention wish. Each monologue is to a Fhighly original Talking and eliciting laughter at every certain extent left incomplete. Heads.. they are a series of comic moment. Despite a hesitant allowing the audience to imagine humorous yet poignant sum Michael Burgess as Graeme the fate of each character for monologues. These character Whittaker, quickly matched themselves. A thought-provoking studies typify certain dated Goodman's own Talking Head . piece which should not be British stereotypes. such as the "A Woman of No Importance" missed . nosy neighbour whose life lost some of the humour. Johanna Ferguson consists of everybody else's primarily due to a poorer & Lucy Worsley business, the 40-odd year old Super Marion Maim -111Is Wsiti awl Bs* Mow Supergrass - "Going Our really wanted to despise this. That (Pariophone I Jaime bloke' trally gets my goal with Yes! Yes! It's SUMMER! Well, okay, actually it's is poncey Bonuesque not But by the time the trumpets kirk in for the and an incessant need for all-mina lab midilk-8 of this great comeback single from A very heavy lode image changes every that months. I The Hirsute Ones you'll be ready to feet the slut thought this would shrike But, low and on your back, your stomach full of barbecue and iterent Irmo Senser - there behold. not a whiff to be sniffed at. your head full of cold lager Begone winter re-Rock". we are told a big rock influence from Maccle.sfields's near-fittest offer a clouds! Yea! Yes' Stiminer is here! ht the music peess, is the Next Big Thing. our new guitarist I Jules slab of severe power rock which emulates the dizzy heights of Oasis - "Don't Look Back In Anger" The filo pies. release for the Hodram). I'd say our infant Lodestar describes influences were Railioheach not the sad Simple Minds (Creation) Black Sabbath. King cork-rock which I'd fmred. Well, they Oasts are the benchntark of the moment but will them as just that: which is Crimson, Led try anyway. we look back on them in the same breath as the surprising, as three-quarters o Zep. AC/DC." But note. this is not a perfectly Beatles, or will we bag them into the menagerie of Lodestar used to belong t So. it's n hig metal. pasty- formed masterpiece by any means. Crap of Britpop? Whatever. they stand van - whether skateboard) krusty tedun awed youths, black t-shirt title for a start. Then there's the hand they borrow Lennon or Noddy Holder. Gary hand Senses. So is the genre kind of thing? "Well. yes. it who try too hard to cram everything Glitter or Stevie, Wonder, the boys can certainly move a deliberate attempt Rt is a black kshin thing.evou into three minute wonders. Each intro play. distance the blind from the "crusty" tug? Bai.sist Haggis could say." apes the last before rupturing tower its anthemic finale. If the elegiac and Josh Wink - "Ilynnatitin. -'96 Rends" isn't sure. And finally, what exactly is a kelestar? It's an old heart-helting ballads which close the "I don't know if the crusty wanted to n y a different (Nervous) magnetic term, for the pull album had come up sooner, this could tag did develop around Simon direction; they were goine one Five mites - ranging fmm ambient smoking sun. the North Star. Ifs have made a startling debut • there weren't really any stay but we wanted to start in grooves to full-on rushes of sound. Not as name that appealed. it's all The thunderous "Fallen Through" crusties in the audience. There out di film" uplifting or as damn near perfect us "Higher Slate me do with eh:mental fiwces." and the dynamic drum roll of "The of CI insctoustiess". but then. what is? were lots of thialt people in What. then. is this Very metal indeed and if Only Way" break from the routine the audience, so I don't think direction? "Well, the history Senser were crusty at all," A 'black t-shirt rock' is your stadium pomp, hut a wider dose to (Island/ of rock music os er the rim Lush - "Ladykillers" lot of dogs on strings might hag. and y e reset seen choose between would have helped Surky a message for any two and a half decades has Hnllernr fenones with well di epee But the split This Is Spinal lap. then , ■.kt their cause no end. bloke whoever thought he ere at been strongly British. and the with Senser was apparently can check out Leidestu Whatever, Marion have already pulling/shagging - see knee; ail your tricks and USA has only overtaken us no too stressful. "It was quite their dehut tour at the penned a classic with the name of we're laughing . recently. So we're trying to Duchess of York I ill the "Sleep" with its call to arms for the harmonious. We still see theist bring Rock hack into British because we shah the same February 29. lovelorn desperados: "If you believe hands. to recover the British Octopus - "Magazine" (Food) rehearsal peen, We just your dreams will come true, then sleep initiative. The music is Ws a honkers mess of a sound with a reasonable is all you'll ever do". MOner, eat your tune, apparently about the way teen magazines heat nut! perpetuate the popularity of shiny hay hands. I Mike Matthews agree. Teen magazines should he about A:teeing. i. not about Boyzone !Ilse Ne he wants to lethal that "Insomnia song" was velem D.O.S.E. featuring Mark E Smith- "Plug the day after his son'shitth. If Myself In" (PWLj you really enjoy listening to Most Mark E Smith records are god fun ttecause music, try listening to it without of the old codger's intriguing-ah vocel•th 1;1,11i.1111 .VOM711:e%. girli.t i TP:1(1111.11:6' your head nodding along to technique-eh. But this has a rather chunky beat I "Insomnia, insomnia song. all behind IL so chunky it could give Josh Wink a night king. can't sleep a wink.: run for his money in the ripping-off-the very once m a while an doesn't preach. Like all music "Insomnia..." is a boom bass Chemical-Brothers stakes. I hope we-ah hear album with a fresh sound Oinked up slip-slide of a track, more-alt of this-ah that becomes classic it knocks ES released which tries to on the done of the subconscious, its Join' IL drawing fmm the push back the Nutters of this where today's prohlinn.s an: most beautiful inspiration - Terrorvision - "Perseverance" throwaway, heir this morning, questioned with such a clever fatherhood. which he refers to in (Total Vegas) gone in the afternoon 'music' subliminal character that you the sleeve notes. 'Ibis is it vet A throw hack to Thin Liuy, Black Sabbath and industry. find you agree with what Speech important album for MC. I mean dare I say Nirvana rolled into an immensely This album began life with is trying to say - before you the birth of my first son Jab, the powerful Brit-rock tune Bandwagon jumping? an artist snuggling to come to know that anything is being birth of a new direction in my Moi? terms with his position on the said. mad of life. or something like Check out tunes like "If you This album is clear and The Wannadles - "How foes it feel?" that But the record company think the -systems wtekin'" or clean, tunes on a hold it down (Indolent) heard it just a year after its "Ghetto sex." But as the man tip. It's ambitious, but doesn't A definite grower and (muse alertly winner of creation, and it sounds new and says. you don't have to be feel overextended. A drug-five hook line of the week, this has a classicly Indic challenging. without sounding checking for the message, you zone of musicality Perhaps the chorus. I can't with- wall-wait for Mein to return commercial or compromised. should he letting the music reach beat thing about this album is to Leeds, this is creeping ivy and my house is There is the obvious hint of your body. mind and. hopefully. that it appeared from instinct, slowly getting covered Amsted Development. but the your soul. Impregnated to bits of tee from a marketing plan. He dynamism of the songs chosen dope is Speech's way of paying didn't know where he was Singled Out by Sarah Monk for the album plough a new his dues to the artists which going. but he still arrived with James Ramsden direction of growth for Speech moulded his style of music. It's direction. He wanLc to take in his own right a who's who ra music. which he people on a journey, so join him George Butler 'Ibis album is about die claims are people who've added on the mad-of- life-music: its pleasure of enjoying real music. seasoning to the soup of life. He gain' on. Supplied by Virgin Megastore a creation for the soul (ruin the maintains that artists such as aoul. It dues not contain Prince. Sly & The Family Seam *Nth *WI disposable plastic music; it is James Brown and George *Oral Ramis / Cod Topa music with a massage. yet Clinton have changed lives and

BOOKS pile of crap

Take two megastars, some fabbo 70s gear, mix them together in the roulette blender and hey presto, you've got Casino. ROBIN PARKER takes a look at Scorcese's latest cocktail

artirl SCOMSe's found cheating soon finds outset. leaving Scorsfte, as stunning new film themselves at the mercy of usual, to explore a biblical Casino proves that Nicky Santoro (Toe Pesci. theme: with the casino, Ave mgambling continues to be a swearing for his country as has gained a Paradise on rich source for Hollywood ever) and his peculiar brand earth. Out it proves a lot film-makers, This dine it's of torture. Despite his easier to lose than to keep. gambling-as-metaphor-for- efficiency. Ace's - and Although Somese's the- American-Dream. with Scorsese's - biggest gamble staying pretty much on Robert de Niro as Sam is Sharon Stone's Ginger. a familiar ground. this is more Ace" Rothstein. who hooker and hustler whom he than just a rehash of makes so much money for marries. As they rapidly fall Goodfeitas; in fact it'', the mob that they recruit prey to their own demons !letter. with more stylistic him as manager of the and desires - in Ginger's flourishes, uniformly Tangiers casino In Las case, a paranoiac cocaine exeellent acting (Stone is a Vegas. hell to rival that of Ray revelation!, and the jukebox Ace is a gambler who Liotta in Goodfellas -the soundtrack is not a far cry doesn't like to take chances: stage is set for tragedy. The from Mean Streets. In spite organisation is tight; from sulking descent-into-hell of the three hour running Ace and the mob's runner. opening tides appear to time, this is a riveting down to the dealers on the offer little moral exploration of greed. casino floor. everyone's: consolation, and Ace's ambition and corruption. hack covered. Anyone downfall is clear from, die Essential viewing.

PSYCHO-BABBLE FEMALE BARGAINING HUSTLING The films: The Music Of Chance; The films: The films: House Of Games; Big Deal At Dodge Indecent Proposal; Honeymoon in The Hustler,' The Colour Of City Vegas Money: White Men Can't Jump What we learn: Old buffers use their What we learn: What we learn: lottery winnings to insulate themselves Women would sleep with Robert Coming second may fill you Making a great in their own model world; a woman Redford fot a million dollars (a big with inadequacy and sel - gambling film: turns to murder after learning how to decision, that one). Men would pay doubt, but no one really wins con people; Henry Fonda snuffs it in a million dollars to sleep with Demi in the testosterone-packed Hollywood's the middle of gambling away his Moore. And Hollywood enioys world of hustling. Not even three card trick family's rtune.The moral: money can't Objectifying women_ Paul Newman. buy you happiness. kids.

authorial 'denature- older waitress Delores. jealous ..: Weighty Slain-males cook moo- craldur Celtic's youthlui charms: Loan it! A real smack %/ince.) becomes hopelessly Dantik, t) nut la: acting JLJ ! infatuated with Callie t Lis Tylera to portoty ['tithe's whinim tlw new waitress :I! his mother's hio.frieral. 'the lair:Nous I Jitter. Victors :Oates heel is his is a disc Lay: her perlormance li's Obvious - The Warehouse in the face FILM emopulsive eating: he uses food atieeests she is de%tined air ni,,,,• to comfort iy hen he than Me !,111c. feat. Jeep Beat Cohesive and cannot deal with the unrequited niagaames. One of the most Trainspalting around the tedium of Di Food Wary lose and personal tragedy that stacessiiil elements is tlw West Yorkshireilcryboase the "cooking pot" while the character's Dir. Itntes Mangold plague hint. It is a sympathetic aiiiiiisjavrie score. by Ilk depiction of the pris ate torture til- Ilitioh in Moore. but his taut stage half monologued. half aybe we could dance..„? avid I y neh meets The de eating. distal:1er. Pruitt is really. this is Ntangottl's He version of Irvine acted out their ram. At It's Obvious dancing Smiths in this debut the tat actor here thk1inually has eonstruoied a careful, Welsh's novel of experiences to each isn't an option. but an T feature from writer/director silent role. articulating measured play of' real eletraders. M other (such as fishing D the same title. adapted obligation - it's just a question of Ntangold, Victor's withdrawn world. and his slow-paced. lingering and directed by Harry for opium how fast you can finish your with its snialiaovin +cable. The preaenve. of so many of direction makes this a Gibson, was suppositories in a shit- drink so you can get on the floor gallery of sad. kat ehitiacters. Ameriea's post-gronge heartbreaking and intends sad undeniably vivid in its filled latrine or having and jerk like Steve Martin to the heartlett romanticism, and the establishment could easily have film. lull crushed hopes and portrayal of prolonged a withdrawal bender magnificent turntable pressure of well- territory unhallowed this film. hat in feet impossible desires, Search it out. hard-drug use_ What tin a bus) - manipulations of the Jeep Beat and post-grunge cast. although the they all gay e aceomplishad tame made it even better wonderfully schizoid, Collective and DJ Food film still hears a distinctiy e Deborah Harry fits in well as the James Ramsdell was that, unlike the multiple voices The Jeep Beaters played a soon-to-be-released performances - was an slamming selection of hip hop and universally lauded effective way to greats. featuring clever scratching film. it was not over- emphasise this_ It was a lively. and two live MCs (who wore enthusiastic in its Any attempt to see energetic. vibrant performance slightly thin after a While), but the attempt to such actions as the TV Nation and the audience couldn't get real treat came when DJ. Food sensationalise. product Of a more enough of it. There was only stepped up and proceeded to drive glamourise and genendised The Rocky Horror Show one dissenter. When the the crowd wild with some ultimately trivialise to which we are all The Grand suitably salacious Frank N. devastatingly heavy jungle. the effects of such prone land which we Furter told Janet that "There's Grinning faces abounded and for a drugs with trite take similar steps to he Rocky Horror Show is nothing wrong with giving while the world moved to the beat psychedetia arid eradicate) is to debase a hit wherever it goes yourself to absolute pleasure- of IS million drums and a football. bizarre bliss. the real suffering of T thanks to its die-hard a voice from the audience So good was it that I was unable Tragic monotony people who are more fans and the new generations replied "There is in Leeds!" to find out what was going on was the most lucked-up but sure-as- who become ensnared with and that says it all about Rocky upstairs for fear of missing prevalent feeling in hell funnier than most each incarnation. They're not Horror. Fur one night you're anything. like the fabulous mixing the play. and the futile of us cosy, just passive audience members. part of a larger whole, a he- in of lane's Addiction's Been hut frenetic activities insignificant losers. A they participate. dressing up, stockinged mass of unified Caught &eating near the end. Five of strong characters to lot more honest. shouting out catchphrases and timewarpers who enjoy one hours of seriously good Dis for a dispel it. embrace it, unexploitative and perfecting their pelvic thrusts. evening of safe depravity fiver, and not a whiff of house anti draw a fine generally better than Nicholas Parsons shone as before returning to normality, OMER: - la's fErvitrus is a cracking balance between the any pussy British film the Narrator. a thankless role quietly pining for the planet club_ two reactions, was a is going to be. which reknowned for the slagging it Transexual in the galaxy of powerful spectacle. will obviously suffer receives from the audience. tothat night'?" he asked. "Sale Transylvania. A treat. Ben Blench The technique of front the effects of the "What other indignities would of the Century!" quipped some Gemma Wallace setting the majority of wrong type of snow. Brad and Janet be subjected joker. the play's scenes Jim Biswell 1 7 reunion Colombia Low to 1k... prevails► ,ii Naha

Red Shoes (19481 (Sunday BBC2 IT 2.10pm)

The titular lootwear ■is worn by a hallenaa What's 01 who has the prickly task of choosing one of the two fellows • who are feuding over What's going up her. Martin Scorce_se. among other and down in the luminaries, rates this Leeds Student hot us one of the finest films ever made. and films hit parade? while it may not suit all tastes. featuring. DESPERADO (18)- going with a as it does. a lot of ba fancy footwork in the If you like explosions. ballet style. you shootouts. ridiculous violence should be patient. and 0and flamenco so much that you'll enjoy a you don't need a plot, then Robert handsome return on Rodnuez's remake of his cult hit El Manach is the film far you. A Bead your investment. Assed rnuthatucka of a movie. not altogether clear, nerdish teens (the only kind in Hollywood - must be the uiri CASINO (18)- coming up also showing... Red Heat (1988) ITV 10.00pm played by Jonathan Silverman and trumps. Andrew 'never quite made the big time O Scorsese. De Niro and Pesci More modem action tare has James Friday Belushi in the first of his mismatched McCarthy have to escort the body of create yet another powerful dead businessman Bernie around this underworld masterpiece, although cop escapades. This one sees him play a Chicago detective paired with his sunny island resort and pretend that he's this is much more than a remake of Gremlins (1984) still alive. The only thing more This is essential viewing. Russkie counterpart Pinko-fearing Goodtellas. ITV 10. pm remarkable than the fact Hollywood followed this up by teaming that given the In this darker than usual Christmas heat the corpse never starts to smell in movie. Billy (Zach Galligan) goes to bed paid 'ol boy Belushi with an alsatian a year later. Arnold Schwarzenegger plays the heat is the perfotnance given by Terry SENSE AND SENSIBILITY with a furry little thing (a 'Mogsvaia but Keiser as the eponymous dead dude. wakes up to find hideous, reptilian the Muscovite detective who insists on (PG) - a sound start. doing things his way (well he is bigger e Emma Thompson Is an monsters in his morn. A comment on the and he's the one that has the bare behind thanks to this pitfalls inherent in the dating game or a Oscar favourite scene written into his contract, so fair's Monday film. Many bonnets and flowing smart, mischievous Xmas monster movie fair). Walter Hill is the action movie skirts, with lashings of wit, Irony treat from film-fanatic director Joe Dillinger (1945) director's director, having previously and Kate Winslet. A classic. 'Matinee' Dante? To he honest you won't BBC1 12.10am The Driver, care, as this fast-paced romp veers from delivered such bullet-felts as lu Rewrroir hugs, Lawrence Tierney tic. one setpieer to another: Gremlins The Long Riders and Extreme Prejudice Joe Cabot; remarks that one character is thrilling to Snow White at the local and he doesn't let the side down here. 'as stead as Dillinger'. This line is yet HEAT (15) - still burning cinema. Phoebe Cates' hilarious 'whi I even if the formula is a little well worn. another of Quentin Tarantino's little brightly. hate Christmas' speech and the inside jokes, because Lawrence Tierney Its a battle of wills as well as O unfortunate creatures who get Sunday was the chap who played the notorious wits when screen legends De Niro microwaved and food-processed to death gangster in this 1945 crime thriller. and Pacino meet in this tense thriller. respectively, While the human Tierney himself had something of a Heat is everything you'd expect it to Weekend At Bernie's contributions are uniformly entertaining reputation about town, being picked up be - and more. Miss it not. !watch for a blink and you'll miss it (1989) on several occasions for disorderly cameo from Steven Spielberg in the BBC1 11.15pm conduct and fighting with the polio, and background of one scene) it is Chris If this feeble comedy feels more than a his life story would make an interesting CLOCKERS (18) - running 1 Walas' gremlins effects which steal the touch stilted it's probably because the movie on its own, but this tale of the out of time. movie. whole thing hangs on a stiff. The mobster shot by the cops in 1934 is a Blacks fight against each other remarkably fresh-looking cadaver of strong actiuner which all Dogs fans as well as the white population in Saturday Bernie, to be precise. For reasons that are should try and catch. Spike Lee's latest depressing vision of US society, this time concentrating on the nightmare world of the kids.

LITTLE PRINCESS (U) - a • gentle start. this week's films on to This adaptation of Frances Hodgson Bumette's novel shrts on oo the original a bit. but it's not bad it you're into heartwarming and magical 4 /3 lanet Earth was one of arc currently negotiating tales of childhood innocence. I g95's success stories. Its discounts at Levis and Burger policy of cheap entrance King for Tequila members. (rill• fees and cheap alcohol has These nights are exclusii,ely made it a mecca for students at NUS only, although the WAITING TO EXHALE (15) - both universities. The long- Saturday nights will eater expiring gently. 440 running 'Absolutely Fabulous' for a mixed crowd: At £2 Four thirtyish women. some every Monday night has entry for NUS holders, dubious and not-so-dubious men, become one of the most it's got to be one or the kids and divorce make for some fairly "MIN popular Monday nights in cheapest Saturday nights harmless entertainment in Whitney town, and the success of in town! Houston's latest movie O Tuesday's 'Tequila' means The music policy is that it has now become a generally a heady mix weekly rather than fortnightly of dance, pop. and • JUMANJI (PG) - on the event. Britpop, as well as slide. 4 It is also now being classic tunes from the Mayhem and adventure as a professionally run by the fins and 70s and SUN. A roll of the dice unleashes the Planet Earth management. who word of warning though: arcane secrets of a deadly rt Planet Earth has also boantarrie. Will star Robin Williams become the easiest place to be able to scare the monsters away? lose your friends and CLUB misplace your beer, since its super resolving dancetloor For full listings see will contribute to your ever pages 8-15. increasing sense of CALL disorientation. Don't say we didn't warn you 18

House 10 00-6.00 £5 Friday, February 23 Music Factory Bash Street - Indic Red Dwarf VI ground-breaking but the Odeon Cinema D.O.A. - Dande on BBC2 9.30pm characters, led by the Jumanji, 1.10, 3.35, Arrival, a new night of 5.55, 8.25 house. 10.00-4.00 publically rehabilitated Sense and Sensibility, Once the funniest Craig Charles, still 1.35. 4.45. 7.55 Pleasure Rooms comedy series set on a manage to rais e a laugh Desperado. 1.00. 3.30. Up Yer Ronson £7'9 space station. Lister and Part of BBC2's comedy 6.00. 8.30 10.00-4.00 the crew are now evening this is almost Lock Ness, 1.05, 3.20, entering that difficult sixth worth staying in for - after 5.45 The Cockpit series. The Jokes are all it's funnier than the Father of the Bride. 125. Brighton Beach featunng now cliched rather than queue to the Fay. 6.05 Perfume live . Dangerous Minds, 3.45. Britpoptrelro. 11 .00-4 .00_ 8.35 £5 MGM Cinema The Warehouse BBC1 BBC2 ITV y Casino 4.10, 7.40 Anything Goes • student IC" 4 I Babe 12.40. 2.25 night I Heat 4.15, 7,45 6.00 Business Breakfast. 7,00 6.00 Open University; 7.15 See 6.00 GMTV; 9.25 Wirt, Lose Or 5,00 d Tel 01% View; 6.35 Think A Little Princess 1.00, LMUSU BBC Breakfast News: 9.00 Hear Breakfast News, 7,30 Draw: 9.55 Calendar News: Tank 7.00 The Big Breakfast, 9.00 3 15, 5.45 Stomp - Indie, Grunge, Breakfast News Extra, 9.20 Can't Stingray; 8.00 F 0 T. 8.30 10.00 The Time... The Place; Saved By The Bee The New Withnail And 1 8.30 Geetar. £3.00/3.50 Cook, Won't Cook: 9.45 Kilroy: Poddington Peas, 8.35 Open 10.35 This Morning; 12.20 Class; 9.25 Blossom In Paris, 10.30 Good Morning With Anne Door; 8.40 The Record, 9.05 Calendar News, 12.30 News: 11.10 The Adventures 01 There Cottage Road Cinema And Nick; 12.00 News: Weather, Schools. 10.00 Playdays; 10.25 Weather; 12.56 Home & Away; 11.35 The Pink Panther Show; Town and Country Club 12.05 Turnabout; 12.30 Going Schools; 1.45 Words And 12.00 Gardens Without Borders; Othello. 5.40, 8.10 Love Train - 70s disco 1.25 Chain Letters; 1.55 For A Song; 1.00 News. Weather Pictures: 2.00 Poddington Peas, Coronation Street; 2.25 High 12.30 Sesame Street. 1.30 1.30 Regional News: Weather: 2.05 Open A Door: 2.10 Open Road; 2.55 Shonland Street; Can't:pentad( Green, followed by Lounge Cinema The Underground 1.40 Neighbours; 2.00 Pebble View; 2.15 Sport On Friday. 3.20 News; 325 Calendar The Herbs: 2.00 Pete Smith Armen'', 6.10. 8.30 The Cooker - Jazz, Funk. Mill; 2.40 Moon Over Miami; 3.30 3.55 News! Weather. 4.00 News; 3.30 Rosie And Jim: 3.45 Specialties. 2.15 FILM Whirlpool Soul The Littlest Pet Shop: 3.50 Look World indoor Bowls Zzzape 4.00 The Sylvester And (1949); 4.00 Backdate. 4.30 Showcase Cinema Sharp!: 4.05 The All New Popeye 6.00 The Munsters. Herman is Tweety Mysteries: 4.25 Countdown, 5.00 Island 01 Babe, Goldeneye, Faversham Show: 4.15 Julia Jekyll And convinced that a Gladiators: Train To Win; 4.55 Dreams Harriet Hyde. 4.30 The Mask television competition IS Get This; 5.10 Home And Away; 6.00 T.F.I. Friday (Aka Thank Johnny Mnemonic, Loch dance 4.55 Newsround Extra. Julie fixed until he wins free Ness, A Little Princess, 5.40 News. Weather Four It's Friday). Chns Elchingharn reports on a membership of an 5.55 Calendar, followed by Evans' new live show that is Pebble and the Penguin, Fiddlers new generation of exclusive country club. News guaranteed to change Waiting to Exhale. Lift - commercial dance intelligent robots which can 6.25 The New Avengers. 6.30 Tonight, followed by Friday nigh! viewing Jumanji, Heat, Casino. learn from each other, Steed comes up against Local Weather 7.00 Channel 4 News Bod of Roses, Planet Earth without any help from the Unicorn - one of the 7.00 Bruce Forsyth's Play 7.55 Book Choice humans. top five agents in the :_i,:-ingerous Minds, Mainstream dance. 70s Your Cards Right 8.00 Gardens Without Borders Seven. Sense and and 80s 5.10 Blue Peter world and a ruthless killer. 7.30 Coronation Street. 8.30 Brookside. Jimmy has a 5.35 Neighbours 7.15 Electric Circus Denise has returned. but change of heart and Terry Sensibility, Indian in the 6.00 News: Weather 7.30 Sounds Of The Eighties. Cupboard, Ace Ventura La Phonograpie will Kelly be able to stop decides he needs a change 6.30 Regional Magazines With performances from her taking Daniel? of career. 2, Desperado, Father of The Lizard Club - The 7.00 Gag Tag. Team captains REM, the Jesus and Mary 8.00 The Bill. The discovery of 9.00 Cybill. Cybill becomes the Bride 2 best of '60s and '70s Eddie Large and Phill Chain, Lone Justice, Echo a knife in a stolen car convinced that her daughter rock. DJ Claire provides Jupitus, are Joined by and the Bunnymen. the provides Croft with a Zoey Witt) is cursed Hyde Park Picture the tunes from 2epplin to Bobby Davro and Mark Bangles, the Cure, the potentially vital clue to a with bad luck. House Doors via Jimi Hendrix. Hurst. Pixies and the Smiths. series of vicious sexual 9.30 Rising Damp. It's only 7.30 Tomorrow's World. This 8.00 Top Gear Motorsport. lOpm-2am assaults. natural to be fascinated by Flower of my Secret, c3/E4 week's programme looks at Steve Berry reports on 8.30 Paul Merton In Galton the occult. so when 6.45, 9.00 a quick and painless new the Macau motorcycle And Simpson's... The Rigsby's new tenant claims After Dark, Morley treatment for excessive Grand Prot, and the Missing Page. Nothing is to be a mystic the whole House and Garage facial hair growth. climax to the European more infuriating than house is captivated 8.00 Just Good Friends. rallycross. reading the whole of a 10.00 Roseanne. Roseanne and Penny is slightly 8.30 Gardeners' World Ritzy 'whodunnit' novel, only to Jackie otter a lift to a young apprehensive about her 9.00 The Fast Show Steam Dance. Chart and find the last page missing. woman musician and decision to set up home 9.30 Red Dwarf VI. With the House 9.00 Catherine Cookson's reminisce about the sexist with Vince crew's supplies of water The Girl - (Part 2 of 3). male bands of their past. 8.30 A Question Of Sport. running so low that it's Stepbrother Matthew is 10.30 The Mark Thomas Charlie Parkers Circus Circus With cricket umpire 'Dickie' beginning to taste like found badly beaten, and Comedy Product. The "Release the Beast" - House and Dance Bird and lormer World Dutch lager, the gang tall the whole family's future start of a new series that upfront American dance, leathenveight champion foul of a malfunctioning comes under the spotlight takes a swing at the house, soul and funk. Barry McGuigan, Lucinda guidance beam which Yei 10.00 News: Weather kneecaps of the Green and Emlyn Hughes. drags them to a deserted Party night 10.30 Calendar News: Weather Establishment. 9.00 News: Regional News: space station. Primos II 10.40 FILM: Gremlins (1984). 11.05 The Girlie Show. Sara Cox Weather 10.00 Fist Of Fun. Including ' Hammer and Tong - and Clare Gorham 9.30 FILM: Mad Max Beyond Ian News' - more items On Christmas Eve. Billy Classic introduce a spiky, Garage and Thunderdome (1985) of interest to people Peltier receives an Amazonian, in-your-lace 11.15 FILM: By Dawn's Early called Ian, presented by unusual pet from his Light (1990). When a Ian Lewis and Ian lather. But the cute, furry show. 11.55 T.F.I. Friday nuclear missile goes astray Kellerman Followed by pet turns out not to be as over Soviet territory, war The Trouble With Men. harmless as it looks. Stars 1.00 Beavis And Butt-Head seems inevitable. Starring 10.30 Newsnight Zech Galiigan and 1.30 FILM: The Romantic Friday night Phoebe Cates. Englishwoman (1975). Powers Boothe, Rebecca 11.15 The Smell Of Reeves DeMomay, James Earl And Mortimer. Vic 12.40 Hotel Babylon Ironic comedy ot manners. Jones and Rip Tom persuades Bob to take a 1.20 American Gladiators. directed by Joseph Losey, 12.40 Sade Live In San Diego. ride on his magic carpet followed by News starring Glenda Jackson as at a glance Sade performing live at the 11.45 Later Presents Paul 2.10 Jones And Jury a woman whose infidelity Open Air Theatre in San Weller in Concert 2.35 God's Girt with Helmut Berger triggers Diego. 12.50 Weatherview 3.35 Dear Nick oft sharp marital warfare 1.40 Weather 12.55 World Indoor Bowls 4.30 Funny Business with her English novelist 1.45 Close 2.00 Close 5.00 ITV Sport Classics eesteind Michael Caine. 5.30 News 3,40 Close •-■•■■••■•■•1

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The last few weeks have Coining net i,I New projects of all sorts toner st'tirns to be your best Someone seems to be A beginning to new left you feeling flat and the shadows and re% Ming are coming out of the 'end this week as giving you the cold projects and an end to uninterested in the a hidden talent should woodwork and you seem werything is among your shoulder at the moment, out-moded ways of important things in your bring beneficial results to to be preparing much time •ay for the find tune in ages, but don't let it get to you. thought and behaviour, life. Thoughts of change your life, as other people's preparing the fine details, prepared for someene although you have been as exciting plans for the to personal circumstances comments suddenly mean Study should be back on ending hi take over your giving the wrong near future will affect are highly likely as you everything when before course again, and anyone ife, bossing you shout. impreesion to someone your We. Keep all ideas spend the next kw weeks ern+ eouldn't have cared involved in artistic 'tiling you how' to do thirop, who you need to win over. under wraps for the time analysing relationship less. You should focus on pursuits should do very which onild make you feel ilealth matters are looking being as someone is Soma matters. long term goals. well this week ntelkrtually stifled. up after a recent bad time. judging you r capabilities . LIRRA SCORN() SAGITTARII ,S C4PRICONS AQUARIUS PISCES Nay 22 Du 20 Dec 21- .10 20 M211- 20 idevireassee Sep 23 Oct 23 Ora 24 No21 1a71 -Feb 19 Career plans seem firmly You seem to be stuck in a nit Be prepared for an Wishes made during the Disappointments seem Political ideas start to rooted and on course for likely as many changes to colour your opinion of Susan Leybourne at the moment that nothing emotional upset, as autumn finally seem likely the future, although self someone shows their true to bloom into success. your usual muting Start to relevant issues this w eek. is the Pagan Chaplain at will shift, feel* that doubts are creeping in to everything is talking long colours for the first time. It Someone thinks highly of appear. Opportunities for You are moving in new The University of Leeds, upset the situation. to manifest. Thuse big idea., seems someone only wants you and is offering their travel should not he turned cliche and the next few attached to its Occult Someone is holding you need a cunning push to your company for your support but be prepared down as visits and months should we society KABAL. She can be back from making MOW the outcome you generosity - as soon as you for strings attached, as you invitations are highlighted. remarkable changes to contacted at her office at 77 mistakes, although you desire, but first you need to stop being such a pushover might only hear half a What started as a problem your character Watch out for unpaid bins coming Vicar Lane, Leeds L51 may feet somewhat over- inn.* that cycle-of you will gain financially but story. Youi love life looks turned out to be the best back to haunt you 6QA (0113) 242 3531 protected. depression. could lose a friend. thing to happen in ages. 19

Saturday, Febuary 24 f;j11.-.).11JV rJ ARK Odeon Cinema LUU Refectory Jumano, 1.10, 3.35, Ark with Carl Cox £15 . ARK has bounced back booking the bald black man 5.55. 8.25 well from last year's tragedy mountain, but expect Sense and Sensibility. Charlie Porkers to book Carl Cox (the best excitable bug-eyed ravers 1,35, 4.45, 7.55 Climax. Uplifting DJ in Britain according to anyway. Of course, it's sold Desperado, 1.00, 3.30, Garage night with DJs Mixmag AND DJ) for out long ago, but the lucky 6.00, 8.30 Matt Vinyl and Funky tonight's bash. It looks like ticket holders and more Lock Ness, 1.05, 3.20, Jazz Man the organisers are trying to 5.45 experienced blaggers among move away from the whistles Father of the Bride, Pleasure Rooms you will be in for one of 1.25. 6.05 Back to Basics 10.00- and white gloves image by Leeds' best nights out. Dangerous Minds, 3.45, 6.00, £8 8.35 Warehouse MGM Cinema Vague. 10.00-4.00. E8. BBC1 B B C2 Casino 4.10, 7.40 Big queues so get 171111 ace I Babe 12 40. 2.25 there early. I Heat 4.15, 7.45 I 6.00 Open University: Newton's 6.00 GMTV; 9.25 5.00 4-Tel On View; A Little Princess 1.00. After Dark, Morley 7.25 News-, 7.30 Iznogoud; 7.40 5.10 The Artbox Bunch: 7.55 Revolution; 6,25 Maths: Teleganticmegavision; 10.25 ft's Sesame Street; 7,05 3.15, 5.45 The Orbit. Techno and Ulysses 31: Iznogoud; 8.10 The Flintstones. Trigonometric Formulas; 6.50 Not Just Saturday: 11.30 The 7.35 Super Mario Brothers; 8.00 Withnail And I 8.30 Ambient 8.00-2.00 8.35 The Addams Family. 9.00 Organic Chemistry; 7.15 A Chart Show; 12.30 Movies, Trans World Sport; 9.00 The £1000 Live And Kicking; 12.12 Weather Question Of Balance? Leaning Games And Videos; 1.00 News: Morning Line; 10.00 Chinese Cottage Road Cinema 12.15 Grandstand: 12.20 At Work; 7.40 Science: Weather, 1.05 Calendar News: Football; 10.30 NBA; 11.00 Othello, 5.40. 8.10 Music Factory Football Focus; 12.55 Practically Speaking; 8.05 Weather Gazette Football Italia; 12.00 The Happy Uplifting House Racing From Haydock: English Whose English? 8.55 1.10 FILM: Dance Till Dawn Late Late Show: 12.30 The Great Lounge Cinema and Garage 1.10 News; 1.15 Skiing; Introduction To Psychology: Two (1989). Lighthearted Maratha Jumanji, 6.10. 8.30 1.25 Racing; 1.40 Skiing.; Research Styles; 9.20 Education comedy starring Alyssa 1.55 Racing; 2.10 World For All?; 9.45 The Chemistry Of 12.55 The Cockpit Milano and Brian Bloom. DontjAwnstaUPlarsta(1959),(ifts 2d British Indoor Bowls: 2.20 The Invisible; 10.10 Seeing 2.45 International Athletics comedy charting the Showcase Cinema The Garage. Incite, Racing; 2.45 World Through Mathematics; 1035 A (ring 01924 420622 for Rock, Triphop, Skate. 4.45 News: Sports Results: tribulations of Michael Indoor Bowls: 2.55 Tale Of Two Capitals: 11.25 Weather Craig and Anne Heywood times) 11 00-3.00. £3.5014.00 Rugby League; 3.45 Managing Organisations; 11.50 as they look for the perfect Babe, Goldeneye. 5.05 Calendar News Football Half-Times; 3.55 Forecasting The Economy 5.10 Scoreline, followed by cook-housekeeper. With Johnny Mnemonic, Loch Town and Country Rugby League; 4.40 Final 12.15 Holiday Outings. John Local Weather James Robertson Justice, Ness, A Little Princess. Pitman visits the second Club Score. 5.20 New Baywatch. Cody's Claudia Cardinale and Sid largest of Spain's Canary Pebble and the Top Banana. Relive the 5.20 News: Weather life and Olympic dreams James. 5.30 Regional News And Islands, Fuerteventura. Penguin, Waiting to Thatcher Years. That'll hang in the balance when 2.50 Channel 4 Racing From Exhale, Jumanji. Heat. be fun! 80s disco. Weather 12.20 FILM: Gone To Earth Kempton Park Simple yam about he gets the bends after a Casino, Bed of Roses, 5.35 Cartoon (1950). 5.05 Brookside Omnibus. Max 5.45 Dad's Army a girl who Ilves with her deep-water rescue Dangerous Minds, LMUSU 6.15 Barrymore. Michael linds that a misplaced 6.15 The New Adventures Of tether in the mountains in priority could have cost the Seven, Sense and The Saturday Disco Superman. Superman Shropshire. With Jennifer Barrymore presents his Sensibility. Indian in the wacky entertainment restaurant dear. Student night. promises not to use his Jones and Cyril Cusack. 6.30 Right To Reply Cupboard, Ace Ventura powers while on holiday 2.10 FILM: The Red Shoes show, in which the general public are the stars. 7.00 A Week In Politics. 2. Desperado, Father of Planet Earth with Lois but master- (1948). A magnificent fairy Vincent Hanna and tale about a young 7.15 Blind Date. More love at the Bride 2 A Touch of Class - over criminal Spencer Spencer Andrew Rawnsley present scuppers his plans ballerina tom between two fisrt sight -- I don't think, 21s. Dress with style the programme that opens Noel's House Party. With creative but possessive Including Lottery Result for a night of 7.00 a new window onto the men. Starring Anton 8.15 Beadle's Hot Shots Hyde Park Picture a Gotcha for Les Dennis. world of politics. Including sophistication. 7.50 The National Lottery Live Walbrook. 8.45 News: National Lottery House Channel 4 News and the night 4,20 Esther Update: Weather 8.05 Casualty. It's Best Of Esther. Weatheen rKingdoms Flower of my Secret, PrImos II before Ash and Laura's tests the reaction of men 9.00 An Evening With Spike 8.00 Hidden . 6.45, 9.00 Asylum, Uplifting and wedding. and Holby City is and women to the issue of Milligan. The comic First of 12 documentaries tram Hard House. 10 00- fraught with tension. women playing men's genius and former Goon around the world. John 8.55 News And Sport: sports. entertains a star-sludded 6.00 £5 . Bulmer's film, from Picturevllle Cinema Weather, Followed by 4.50 The Oprah Winfrey audience. National Lottery Update Show, Oprah and her 10.00 FILM: Red Heat (1988). A Surmaland. SW Ethiopia, Clockers. 5.30, 8.15 Ritzy looks at the Surma tribe, 9.15 The Sculptress. Four-part audience discuss more dedicated Soviet cop Serious Pleasure. 60,000 strong and almost psychological thriller in controversial topics: this arrives In Chicago, where House and Dance which Pauline Ouirke plays week's subject is. Talking unaffected by 20th-century he reluctantly teams up civilisation. Olive Martin. nicknamed With The Dead. with a foul-mouthed Underground the Sculptress for the 5.30 TOTP2 9.00 Auf Wledersehen Pet. In American detective to a rare moment of The Yardbird Suite - gruesome murder of her 6.15 World Indoor Bowls hunt for a Russian drug jazz with live music. mother and sister 7.05 News: Sport: Weather tenderness, Oz (JtmlnY dealer. Starring Arnold Nail), makes an attempt to Doors 8.00, Band at 10.05 The Nose at Ten - Best 7.20 Correspondent. Featuring Schwarzenegger and of Comic Relief. New a report from Sierra Leone save his marriage and get Saturday 9.15, DJs until 2.00. James Belushi. to know his son. E5/6 series taking a nostalgic on how the lust for 11.55 FILM: The Calendar Girl look back at the first diamonds has sparked oft 10.00 Father Ted. Last in the Murders (1984). Girls find 'Comic Relief' a brutal civil war_ current re-run series. at a Mex performance. in 1986. 8.05 Opera At The Kirov: it becomes distinctly 10.35 Eurotrash. Jean Paul House and Garage - 10.35 Match of the Day. Ruslen and Lyudmila. unhealthy to pose in the Gaultier and Antoine de DJ Marc Leaf Highlights of two key Valery Gergiev conducts monthly 'Paradise Caunes find a Belgian glance games in the FA the Kirov Opera in a Magazien' When Miss artist who uses human January and Miss LUU Harvey Milk Bar Premiership. spectacular production of faeces as his mediums February are killed, the Hallelujah - Madchester 11.40 FILM: Physical Evidence an early Russian tairytale 11.10 The White Room. Among (1989). A violent street opera. police are called in. this week's trend-setting night. Its gotta be loose Starnng Robert Culp_ fit! cop, recently expelled from 11.35 Matti Mhor. The story of tunesmiths are Iggy Pop, the force, wakes up from a songwriter Maih L35 Funny Business. Nick Cave and PJ Harvey drinking binge to find McPherson, wrongfully Featuring Charlie Chuck, Late Licence: himself accused of the imprisoned in 1520 for 2.05 Pyjama Party. followed 12.10 The Girlie Show; 1.00 The murder. Starnng Burl stealing. by ITN News Headlines Legend Of The 4 Kings; 1.55 Reynolds 12.35 Weatherviaw 3.35 War Of The Worlds Twilight Zone; 2.20 Baadasss TV; 1.15 Weather; 1.20 Close 12.40 World indoor Bowls 4.25 Cue The Music 2.50 Big Girls Blouse. 3.20 Paris: 5.20 Profile; 5.30 News 3.45 Close / -0. 1 MI DOWN 1 Worn out when three get around advertisement ban (10) R 0 S - W OR ) ■10 2 Marry a horse or rise to trouble (5) 1 NM 3 Average everything with the Spanish corresponding (8) Devised by Matt Walker 4 Dislike of canteen opus to change (3,4,3,2,3) ACROSS ii 6 Shy person is a girt growing smaller (9,6) III 6 A flame, so get off (61 1 Accessories made from tap spring (9) ill 6 From a different angle its heavenly! (5) 7 Saucy vessel' (5.4) 9 Message received. man (5) li 8 Reel around to get an eyeful (4) ill I 10 End is not applicable in an insect (9) is 12 Sorry about poetic goo ■14 Immediately Nev.r Testament is surrounded by fools 11 Sexual congress or a farmyard picnic (1,4.2.3,3) ,7 saintly (91 13 Overall is it blue or not? (8,4) II le 1 1. 1111 16 Second senior citizen gets a cake (4) is 16 Split copies up with tear flowing (8) 18 Re read postscript - Gone for a cake (8) 17 She got up (4) is ill ii 18 Gem found In Jutland is strangely damning (10) II 21 Useless tie pin I lost carelessly (5) 22 (4) 20 Rounding off I see a quiet professional XI procreating (13) lill Permit exchange 23 Comical talent shown with half a banana before birth (4-5) 13 14 24 Actor is a man (5) f10 prize for the first correct entry 25 Arrange randomly Sect ye bee bearing (5) ■handed in to our LMU ofIke n 20 IIII 26 Genuine Gold carat strangely contains Titanium then? (9) Lost week's winner: William Towty Last work's saAr606: Across. 1 Sectstve. 5 Goeces. 9 Encircle. 10 Bounce. 12 'Throw 13 Detergent 14 Catim 17 Visitor. 11 Eve. 19 Doleren, 20 9itindle. 22 Existence, 24 Alt+ 26 SPrewd 27 Artifice. 29 ReeRitt. 22 Transmit Douse: Pr-- .:--; in,_•. 7 erect it ',wester ii staves 15 Billiards 16 Tenant 19 Dresser 21 &nom 23 Error, 25 titian 20 (:f1 IIJI Hyde Park Picture House Sunday, Febuary 25 Odeon Flower of my Secret, ITV 3.55pm Jumanji, 1.10, 3.35, leg means the Premiership 6.45, 9.00 Leeds vs Birmingham side only have to keep their 5.55, 8.25 Pictureville Cinema cool and the final is theirs. Sense and Sensibility, The Underneath 6.00, Keep out of the pubs this For added entertainment, 1.35, 4.45, 7.55 Horseman On The Roof lunchtime unless you're listen lor the Birmingham Desperado, 1 MO, 330, 8.15 prepared to roar Leeds manager's four-letter 6.00, 8.30 onto Wembley. A slightly touchline Lock Ness. 1.05, 3.20, lucky comeback in the first "encouragements." 5.45 Father of the Bride, t25, 6_05 Dangerous Minds, 3BC1 BBC2 3.45, 8.35 2 Faversham COO „.„ " I C Afternoon • ambient with L 1 1 I" V I MGM Cinema DJ Moose. 7.30 Jim Henson's Animal Show: 8.15 Open University. 9.10 Jackanory: 6.00 GMTV' 8.00 Dieney Club; 10.15 5.00 4•Tel On View, 8.25 Trans World Casino 4.10. 7.40 Evening - funk with 7.55 Playdays. 8.15 Suenos - Cave Amt The Missing Finger; 9.25 Unic. 10.30 Sonfty'Matters. 1225 Van Spark 720 Take 5 With The Magic Babe 12.40, 2.25 World Spanish. 8.30 Breakfast With Phantom 2040: 9.50 Highly Sprung!: Can Cook,12.50 Calendar Nees. 1.00 Roundabout. Bush Tails, Natalie. Mx Steve Eldridge. Frost; 9.30 Season Of Change; 10.15 Grange Hill: 10.40 The Ant Arid News, 1.10 Jonathan Dantrieby, 2.00 the Eiri and Jaggy Bear.7.45 The Heat 4,15, 7.45 10.15 See Hear!, 10.45 The French Dec Show: 11.05 Short Change, FILM Karate Kid N (1986) Magic School Bus. 8.15 Hong Kong A Little Princess 1.00. Experlenc-e. 11.00 The 11th Hour: 11.30 Top Score: 11.45 Star Trek; 3_55 The Match Highlights; Coca- Phooey, 420 Stunt Dewgs, 8.55 Biker Charlie Parkers 12.00 CountryFile, 12.30 On The 12.35 Later Presents Paul Weller In Cora Cup Semi-Final, 2nd Mice From Mars. 920 The Secret 3.15. 5.45 Soul Pick 'N' Mix_ Soul, Record: 1.30 EastEnders: 2.50 Concertt, 1.30 Regional Programmes: Leg. Highlights of Lewis United World Of Ales Mack, 0.50 Earthworm Withnaii And 1 8.30 FILM: Poltyanna 11964 5.05 200 World indoor Bowie 4.20 Ski vs Berningeam City Jim 10.15 Saved By The Belt The Hip-Hop and Ragga. Cartoon; 5.10 Lifeline. 6.20 The Sunday: 4.55 Rugby Special 5.00 Robocop New Claes; 10.40 Wise Up: 11,15 Dry Dock Clothes Show: 5.45 News: 5,55 Natural World. 5.50 Calendar News And Sport NBA Raw; 12.15 Mission Impossible: 6.45 The Big Trip. Cottage Road Cinema Weather; 5.05 Regional News 6.05 News: Weather The That; 1.15 Board Stupid: 1.45 Afternoon Live Jazz 7.30 Wheeler on America. Charles 6.10 Songs 01 Praise 620 You've Been Framed) FILM' Pink String And Sealing Wax Othello, 5.40, 8.10 Wheeler traces the changes rn 11954): 3.20 From Floies loilowed By 6.45 Antiques Roadshow. 6.50 FILM: Beverly Hies Cop li Ballyklasengel_ Father American society since 1.30 11987). Called off a credit-card Hot Stuff Duchess of York Clifford and Assumpta loin President Johnson's attempt to 3.45 FILM: It Always Rains on chase in Detroit to help his old Lounge Cinema together to encourage a launch a liberal revolution in Sunday 0949). Ealing 'Sunday Service' - buddies In Los Angeles :solve Jumanji, 6,10. 8.30 reluctant bride and groom the 60s melodrama wrth Googie innovative night of the Alphabet Crimes. hard- 8.20 As Time Goes By. 820 The Money Programme. Withers as a discontented electic dub, ethnic & 8.50 News; Weather 9.00 Why Men Die Younger. The nosedcop Axel Foley a bank housewife whose marriage is Showcase Cinema 9.05 The Sculptress. first in a season at filrns and soon on the trail of an disrupted when ex-lover and psychedelia with live ile.larms dealer and his tria- Babe, Goldeneye, 9.55 Ruby Wax Meets.. Goldie exploring men's health looks at escaped convict John bands Hewn. why the British male is twice i (Brigitte Nielsen). Starring McCallum turns up Followed Johnny Mnemonic, 10.25 Heart of the Matter as likely as the (ornate to die Eddie Murphy By News Loch Ness. A Little Special. The Legacy of the before the age of 65. 8.45 True Love. 5.30 Hollyoaks Yet 9.45 ITN News: Weather Princess, Pebble and Lost Peoples. From the UN 9.40 The Male Survival Guide. A 6.00 The Persuaders! Dance night in Geneva, Joan &skewed guide to men's health. In the 10.00 Cracker. Atter a violent murder, 7.00 The Shark Shocker the Penguin. Waiting examines the plight of first at the series, James Fitz is sure the pollee are on the 8.00 Wired World to Exhale, Jumanji. refugees with an Bolarn alerts you to the danger wrong track. but tie and 8.30 My Generation: The Kinks. international parer. signs of testicular cancer. Bilborough have yet to resolve 9.00 FILM: Peter's Friends Heat, Casino, Bed of 11.15 FILM: Weekend at Bernie'e 9.50 Cricket World Cup. England v their references (1992). k.ennirrtri Branagh's Roses, Dangerous (1989). A pair of South Africa 11.00 Cryer's Crackers. tale ol six aid thence re-uniting accountants uncover 10.50 The Male Survival Guide. 11.30 FILM: Miele And Maude on New Year's Eve. With Minds. Seven, Sense evidence of fraud within their Practical guide to men's (1984). A TV chat show host Stephen Fry, Hugh Laurie. and Sensibility, Indian company, so their slimy health with paternal anriaillons finds his Imelda Staunton and Emma 11.00 FILM: The Emerald Forest in the Cupboard, Ace playboy boss rewards them turmoil when his wife and Thompson. by inviting them 10 his beach (1985). The young sari of air Ns mistress both announce that 10.55 Wanted: Butch Cassidy And American engineer is Ventura 2, Desperado, house But Bernie Is in deep they are teleran!. Starring The Sundance Kid dramatically iddnapped in the trouble. Starring Andrew Dudley Moore and Amy Irving. 12.30 Football Italia Father of the Bride 2 Amazon ralniceeel McCarthy and Jonathan Followed by News Headlines 1.25 How The Frogs Eye Sees 12.50 Weathervtew Silverman 1.40 FILM: Jai-KIshen. 1.35 World Cinema: FILM: Tarana 12.55 World Indoor Bowie 12.50 Weather 4.10 Music Video 2.00 The Learning Zone (1951). Classic Hindi trim 12.55 Close 4.15 Jotsfineler; 5.30 News 4.16 Close

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Flower of my 50:ret, 6,45, 9.00 Picarrevrwe *terns Monday, February 26 f)111:-?.1.1.1V Ckvikeni 5.30. 8 15 Odeon Cinema "In Concert" Jurrenjl, 1.10, 3.35, 555, 825 Radio 1, 9pm Seine end Sensibility, 1 35, 445. 755 Radio 1 is great between 9 and Glastonbury and Paul Weller, Desperado, 1.03, 3,30.6,00. Za aka tonight its Suede, who have Sitdard night Codealts f2 all 10 at night. there is something 8.30 of a gap to fill between the built up a reputation for being Lorin Ness, 1.05, 320, 6..45 niece DJ tlr 12. chance to en brilliant live. A good primer if Father rite Breda. 135.8.05 five drinks end peer Buy one Evening Session and the brill Dangerous Wxis. 3.45. 825 phis gel one free Mark Radcliffe. but this fills it you're sticking around through nicely. Already we've had the Easter hols to see them at MGM Cinema Fiddler's Radiohead. Oasis, Pulp at Sound City. Casino 4.10, 740 NUS student night Babe 12.40, 225 Heat 4 15. 7.45 Heresy's A Lade Princess 1.03.3.15. deep house g warp- 5,45 Withnail Aid 18.30 Planet Earth BBC1 BBC2 Ch4 4 sal, AbsoLiery Fabia MAY I I Cottage Road Cinema raft, deer promos I I Othelb, 5.40, 8.10 6.00 Business Breakfast, 7.00 6.00 Open University 7.15 See 6.00 GMTV: 9.25 Win, Luse Or 5.00 4-Tel On View; 6.35 Think Obeenratory BBC Breakfast News; 9.00 Hear Breakfast News; 7.30 Draw: 9.55 News: Weather: Tank; 7.00 The Big Breakfast: Lounge Cinema The Price is Right - et, Breakfast News Extra; 9.20 Can't Stingray: 8.00 Blue Peter. 8.30 10.00 The Time... The Place: 9.00 Fifteen To One; 9.30 Jurnanli, 6.10, 8.30 night Cook, Won't Cook: 9.45 Kilroy: Songs Of Praise, 9.05 Schools; 10.35 This Morning; 12.20 Schools. 12.00 Right To Reply, 10.30 Good Morning With Anne 10.00 Playdays; 10.25 Hatch Calendar News. 12.30 Sesame Street; 1.30 Patch House: 10.45 Schools; Wowser, 1.55 Musical Comedy Showcase Cinema Ritzy's And Nick; 11.50 Lifeline, 12-00 Weather/Blisdate: Network North: News Weather, 12.05 1.40 Storytime: 2.00 Poddington Greats Babe Goideneve, Johnny The World - studerd right 12.30 News: Weather 12.55 Turnabout: 12.30 Going For A Peas; 2.05 Open A Door: 2.10 Home And Away: 1.25 Chain 2.20 FILM: Swamp Water Mnemonic. Loch Ness, A Little One O'Clock News: Holiday Outings Bel stirs Song: 1.00 Letters: 1.55 Coronation Street; (1941). Stamng Dana Princess Petbie and the Weather. 1.30 Regional News: 2.15 FILM: Passport To Terror Cool Music From Hot Countries 2.25 Wish You Were Here...?; Andrews as a woman who Penguin. Waiting to Eichete. Weather; 1.40 Neighbours; 2.00 (1989). A tourist's dream 2.55 Shortland Street: 3.20 News becomes involved with Jurnery. Heat, Casino, Bad of Pebble Mill. 2.40 Rich Man, Poor cruise turns into a Headlines; 3.25 Calendar escaped convict (Walter LIntisivroteid nightmare Starring Lee Roses. Dan;ercus Minds, Man: 3.30 The Busy World Of NowsiBilsciale: Network North: Brennan) who is hiding out Seven. Sense and Serest/1y, Rwandan Croke* Richard Scan; 3.55 Bodge; And Remick 3.55 News: Weather 3.30 Rainbow Days: 3.40 Tots in the Okefenokee swamp Indian r1 the 0..ipbared. Ace Badger. 4.10 Chipmunks Go To 4.00 Backdate The Movies: 4.35 The Genie 4.00 Today's The Day TV, 3.50 Budgie The Little Verdure Z Desperado. Father Cockpit Helicopter. 4.05 Scooby Doo, 4.30 Countdown Coast * The Mystics From Down Under; 5.00 4.30 Ready, Steady, Cook of the Brie 2 5.00 Esther 4.15 Harry's Mad; 4.45 Art Attack 5.00 Keepers Of The Kingdom Duchess or York Newsround 5.10 Blue Peter 5.30 The Village 5.10 Home And Away. Selina 6.00 The Cosby Show. Theo Hyde Park Picture House Yuphoris 5.35 Neighbours 5.55 Turning Points and Curtis make their split faces a sudden and very 6.00 Six O'Clock News: 6.00 Space Precinct permanent dramatic lesson in reality_ Weather 6.45 Buck Rogers In The 25th 5.40 News: Weather 6.30 Hollyoaks. How many 6.30 Regional News Century. Buck undergoes 5.55 CalendartNetwork North bones could Kurt (Jeremy Magazines a mind probe to discover et 6.30 Tonight Edwards) actually break 7.00 Noel's Telly Years_ a villain from his past is 7.00 Talking Telephone parachuting" ULTRA TRAVEL Featuring the year 1975. responsible tar a device Numbers 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Watchdog which is threatening Earth_ 7.30 Coronation Street. Tricia 7.55 The Slot 8.00 EastEnders. Phil turns to 7.30 BBC Design Awards is prepared to clean up her 8.00 Screaming Reels. The Students Union Budding - University of Leeds Pat in desperation; Pauline 1996 act, but is Jack prepared to last in the series sees Nick feels guilty over a 8.00 Horizon. The increasing employ her as a cleaner, Fisher fishing for black telephone call; and threat to human 8.00 World In Action bream in Wales with Mike GREAT FARES TO THE Blossom takes Tiffany to reproduction from 8.30 Kavanagh OC. Kavanagh Thrusselt and finding out oestrogens in the task. iJohn Thaw) is told what the Chubb Study 8.30 Goodnight Sweetheart. environment. conflicting stones by a man Group actually do. Time-travelling comedy, in 8_50 The Male Survival Guide. and his girenend about the 8.30 Classic Ships. which Gary manages to James Bolam reveals the The FAR EAST murder of a nee-fascist maritime series takes a overcome his jealousy mysteries of the prostate 10.00 News: Weather enough to get jeep parts 9,00 Our Friends In The look at the romantic era of 10.30 Calendar News: Weather for Ron North- 1984: the miners' the great trade ships. Bangkok_ 193 9.00 News: Regional News: stnke dominates the 10.40 Pennine Rock With Chris 9.00 Island of Dreams: The Weather country and Mary and Bonington. A six-part Price Of Love. Dia 9.30 Panorama Tosker come into conflict series in which Britain's Garwood has now become 91 Kong 266 10.10 FILM: Bump in the Night with their policeman son. most famous mountaineer Mrs Gousetti following her (1991). When a young boy 10.10 The Travel Show savours the personalities, marriage to Mica and, with is abducted, his journalist Essential Guides. A passions, conflicts and a new baby, has to come £217 mother sets out in pursuit practical travel guide to triumphs that have placed to terms with Greek family Kilda Lumpur Starring Meredith Baxter- retreats and health spas. Yorkshire and the Ille and the traditions of Bimey, Chnstopher Reeve including the spas of Pennines at the heart of island culture. 217 and Geraldine Fitzgerald. Budapest Followed by world rock-climbing. 10.00 FILM: The Ballad of Singa Pore 11.40 Film 96 With Barry The Trouble With Men 11.10 Prisoner Cell Block H. Cable Hogue (1970). Norman. Barry Norman 10.30 Newsnight Lexie's escape plan is Western comedy starring reviews new releases, 11.15 Forever Young - HRT foiled. Jason Robards as a including 'Restoration', For Men. A focus on the 12.06 Football Extra; News prospector who finds a For information on these starring Robert Downey Jr use of testosterone as a 12.50 FILM: Panhandle Calibre spring, and exploits it as a as a doctor who enters means of helping men and other great tares 38 (1974). An ex-outlaw waterhole-stagecoach way into an arranged marriage through middle age. and his son are hired to to please King Charles II. 11.45 station. Holiday Outings. Richard deliver two cases of gold call on Ultra. 12.10 FILM: Dillinger (1945). Wilson explores Australia's 12.20 FILM: Hush, Hush Sweet to a Southern general Gangster biopic based on Northern Territory on the Charlotte (1964). during the American Civil the exploits of bank robber back of a Harley Davison Terrifying thriller starring John Dillinger. America's motorcycle_ War. Starring Keenan Bette Davis as a public enemy No 1 11.55 Weatherview Wynn and Scott Holden suspected murdereress. Starring Lawrence Tierney. 12.00 Midnight Hour With Sir 2.30 The Chart Show 2.45 The Other Americas: ALSO DAY TRIPS TO AMSTERDAM 1.20 Weather: 1.25 Close Bernard Ingham 3.25 The Story Of Steam Sins Of Our Fathers 12.30 The Learning Zone 4.10 Music Video 3A5 Temporary Close 8 MARCH - 22 MARCH ONLY £ 35. 4 15 Jobfinder; 5.30 News 4.00 Schools

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-41 Tuesday, February 27 1).1.111WIJE.1 Network First follows the recent trend Odeon Cinema 10.40pm ITV of programs like blues Jumanji, 1 10. 3.35. and two's where you the Circus-Circus 5_55, 8.25 YTV's own in house viewers are amongst the Sense and Sensibility, disco, funk., soul, acid award winning action The camera Jazz. 1.35. 4.45, 7.55 investigative never lies so they say. Desperado, 1.00, 3.30, documentary, Network but do those questioned, Music Factory 6.00, 8.30 First once again raises another tough hard Lock Ness, 1.05, 3,20, 1)Autamatic • indie the issues For debate, hitting reflection of the retro. 10.00-2.00. 5.45 but does it give answers sad state of the inner Admission £3. Drinks Father of the Bride, or more questions. This cities of Britain. £1.20 a pint, £1 bottles 1.25, 6.05 of Pits and Dangerous Minds, 3.45, £1 selected spirits. 8.35 2)Ouid in - Student MGM Cinema dance 3)Beat Street - Hip Hop Casino 4.10. 7.40 1 BBC1 BBC2 and Jungle ich4 4 Babe 12.40, 2.25 I Heat 4.15, 7.45 iry 6.00 Businesa Brolliffaet 6.00 Open Univerery. 7.15 See Hear 6.00 GMTV, 9.25 Win, Lose Or Draw; 5.00 4-Tel On View-, 6.35 Think A Little Princess 1.00, ■ Planet Earth 7.00 BBC armadas, Herr Breakfast News; 7.30 Stingray, 8.00 9.55 Calendar News: WWeather, 10.00 3.15, 5.45 9.00 Breakfast News Extra Tank; 7.00 The Big BreaktaSt, Absolutely Fabulous 11 - 9 20 Can't Cook. Won't Cook Blue Peter, 8.25 Paddington Peas; The Time...The Place; 10.35 This 9.00 Fifteen to One; 9.30 Withnail And I 8.30 8.30 Open a Door. 1E40 The Record, Morning; 12.20 Calendar News. Hangover. 9.45 Kilroy Schools. House To House, The More 10.30 Good Morning With Anne And Nick 9.05 Schools; 10.00 Playdays; 10.25 Weather, 12.30 News. Weather. 1200 12.30 Sesame Sheet; 1.30 Cottage Road Cinema Monday night-type 12.00 News: Regional News. Weather Come Outside; 10.45 Schools, 1.40 12.55 Horne And Away: 1.25 Chain mayhem. 12.05 Tumabotg Hatch Fetch House: 2.00 Paddington Letters; 1.55 Emmerdale. 2.50 Ovicle, 1.55 Waterways Othello, 5.40, 8.10 12.30 Going For A Song 1.00 Nowa, Weather Peas; 2.05 Open a Door: 210 The Vanessa. 3.20 News; 3.25 Cetera:1m 225 FILM: Greenwich Village Fiegiorte News._ Weather Andrew Nell Show: 3.00 News News. Weather; 3.30 The Magic Warehouse 1 as (1944). Lavish, light- Lounge Cinema 1.40 14,ttit= Weather, 3.05 Westminster With Nick House: 3.40 Tots TV: 3.50 Tax-Manta. hearted Fox musical Sugar Club 2.00 1 Ross; 3.55 News. Regional News 4.05 Troy Toon Adventures, 4.30 Jumanii, 6.10, 8.30 2.40 Filch Man, Poor Alan Weather. 4.00 Today's The Day: 4..30 Cone Zone. 5.00 Anenaniacs starring Don Amethe and mainstream student 3.30 Ants In Your Pants Ready, Steady, Creak. 5.00 Esther; 5.10 Home And Away. Aitse Carmen Miranda. night 3.50 Chuckle Visio 4.10 Free Willy 5.30 The Village; 5.55 Consuming makes up with Pimp, and 4.00 Backdate Showcase Cinema 4 35 Run The Ale* Passions, 6.00 Fresh Prince 01 Bei Shane finds a second rob 4.30 Countdown 5.00 Neweround Arr 5.40 News: Weather Observatory for Mantel Williams Babe, Goideneye, 5.10 Grange hilt Jordles hotting is 6.25 Heartbreak High. With 5.55 Calendar/Network North 5.00 The Time Tunnel 70s, 80s jlemontuo day out and Lucyltes e Show Johnny Mnemonic. Loch Mock. university applications due. the 6.30 Tonight Ness. A Little Princess, & 90s. 5.35 Neighbour. students try to sort out their 7.00 Er -nerd/e. Chris has an 5.50 Terrytoons Pebble and the Penguin, 6.00 News: Weather Whites ultimatum tor the Glovers. 6.00 The Avengers. A man Mex 6.30 R.gtpna Norm Weather 7.10 The Ran And Stimpy Show 7.30 Who Do You Do? Fast- with £50,000 worth of Waiting to Exhale, 7.00 He lldey 7.30 From The Edge, Reports on moving comedy. 730 Esotericism. Frank% cracking up anti diamonds in his stomach is Jumanii, Heat, Casino, 'attn. etc. with DJ Martin the arts, politics and news 8.00 The Bill, A compulsive rest Pulled:Nee close to the edge. part of this week's puzzle. Bed of Rases. Morales. Also Brazilian 6.00 Clem Orniend Street scene from dleabled reporters leads Carver and Meadows food & snacks & Samba 5.30 The Midas Itrapira. The staff at 8.00 Public Eye. Whet happens quite literally up the garden 7.00 Channel 4 News Dangerous Minds. INNIbunt Leisure Centre aro when you die and how much path. 7.55 The Slot Seven, Sense and classics before 10pm. a ted-caroet wittOfxbe bade 10Pr= does It cast? Locum Erica P, rltfss at the earl 4:0 the new sedes 9.00 Peak Practice. 8.00 Ride On. Presented by Sensibility, Indian In the 9.00 News- Weather 8.313 Food And Drink. Michael Matthews looks set to quit In Muriel Gray Faversha m 9.30 The X files Mulder Is gAttn a sacral Barry cooks Iamb burgers and her first week aher a car crash Cupboard, Ace Ventura 8.30 Brookside. Mike and retro - dance, indie & tape containing prate! about the Mediterranean kebabs leaves a gill in a come. Did 2, Desperado. Father of governmenrs clandestine invhvemeni 9.00 Whatever Happened To The Ence run the car off the road, Lindsey live in tear as II hip-hop. Mat aliens - but he rant decode Likely Lads? Thelma is stilt at 10.00 News At Ten: Weather the Bride 2 10,15 999 Intemationw Rescue. A kakcepiei Gary's behaviour becomes 5011 Iran klemastoolia girls his era at home with mother. leaving 10.30 Calendar News: Weather more and more Hyde Park Picture Charlie Parkers nek to rasexre Iwo POOPIO IrOin raging Terry to send* her husband's 10.40 Network Find. Cameras threatening welt furrowed brow. 'View the police into some of House Nasty - acid jazz, hip 11.05 MAL Maier Otandeo(10551. AA 9.30 The Man's Ward. In few Britain's most lawless areas to 9.00 The Decision. Breast . hop. offbeat and loloodetraty Western odour cancer is one of the Flower of my Secret US UMon Alder determined to axed places are men more expiore the reasons berund 6.45 9.00 revenge on the beret S Apaches who vulnerable than In hospital the crime and unrest which biggest killers of women massacred a US Cavalry poet Sewing The film highlights both the have resulted In recent riots In thi. final programme ol Charlton eleskie. Richard Herne, Jim moving and humorous 11.40 Around The House this Challenging series, a Pictureville Cinema Hutton and James Coburn moments that occur when men 12.10 FILM: The Burning Bed 1.05 Weather alien number of women within Clackers, 5.30, 8 15 10 C30.so are thrust into en 119134 Farrah Fawcett plays a environment woman who hums her sadistic opt same 10.20 The Male Survival Guide. husband in his bed. At her the bereealtstecincancedefratmesiltsy Depression trial, she recounts the and face the results. 10.30 Newenight humiliations she suffered and LVFITON FLATS AND SENTINEL TOWERS 11.15 The Larry Sanders Show. A her desperate anempt to 1020 FILM; The Legend of sceptical Larry has the task of protect herself and her Lylah Clare (1968). present . . being hest man and organising children from his beatings. Robert Aldrtch's mordant the bachelor parry. 1.55 Bushell On The Box_ The expose of Hollywood 11.45 Holiday Outings. Monty Don gregarious tabloid Tv critic moviemaking and myth- visits Tunisia's oldest and brines his lortteight views to making starring Peter largos': resort. Hemmarnai the small screen. Followed by 12.00 The Midnight Hour with News Finch and Kim Novak Lesley Riddoch 2.25 Hotel Babylon 12.45 Football Italia - 12.30 The Learning Zone 3.05 Not Fade Away Mezzanotte. Highlights at CASARS B 4.05 Jones And Jury Juventus v A C Milan Beware the Ides of March! 4.25 Jobfinder; 5.30 News 1.45 Next Stop Hollywood. The homeless Milker family try to salvage their Hotel Metropole, King Street, Leeds American dream by living in touch on the set al a sitcom. 2.20 FILM: The Last Friday 15th March 1996, 730prn till 1.00am Gentleman (1934). 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Tickets only £4.00(included in the price is one free drink) available from Lupton Laundry 6-7pm LEEDS Prizes to be won for tickets bought before IN YHA ADVENTURE SHOP, 117 121 Vicar Lane, Leeds 151 61,1 20/2/96. 0113 246 1155 www.campustravelco.ukt • .-- ,...,.,- y am • Gin..9ffi Wednesday, February 28 Odeon Cinema entertaining without Uncle Jurnanjl, 1.10. 3.35. 5.55, Warehouse How do they do that? BBC1, 8.00pm Des to show us the way. but 8.25 Columbia- 'Love to Be highly informative none the Sense and Sensibility, presents an ibithe less. Providing satisfying 1,35, 4.45, 7.55 Ever wondered how they Reunion" with Alex P answers to those niggling Desperado, 1.00, 3.30, make those crazy Tango (Space), Brandon Block little questions that we all fie 6,00, 8.30 adverts?Or how they make and Jason Bye. £4 awake at night thinking Lock Ness, 1.05. 3.20, the letters run through sticks admission with NUS. Plus about. 5,45 residents All Bennett and of rock?' thought sb.Well, Father of the Bride, 1.25, Nathan Night. e3.50 NUS( tune in to How Do They Do 6.05 U640, £4 others That?, and find out how. Dangerous Minds. 3.45, Planet Earth Admittedly far less 8.35 Kinky - Resident DJs every Wednesday Alan MGM Cinema Stevens luvdup DJ Casino 4.10. 7.40 Chuck Club 'M" EIBC2 Ch4 4 Babe 12.40, 2.25 9.00-3.00 I BBC1 Heat 4.15. 7.45 £2.50 (NUS)/£3.50 1 A Little Princess 1 00. Gin, Whisky, Vodka 60p 5.00 4-Tel On View, 6.35 Think 3.15, 5.45 shot 6.00 Business Breakfast; 7.00 6.00 Open University: 7.15 See 6.00 GMTV; 9.25 Win, Lose Or Withnail And I 8.30 Pint BitteeLager £1.50 BBC Breakfast News; 9.00 Hear Breakfast News: 7.30 Draw; 9,55 News; Weather; Tank; 7.00 The Big Breakfast; 9.00 Fifteen to One; 9.30 Cider Breakfast News Extra. 9.20 Stingray; 8.00 Run The Risk, 8.25 10.00 The Time... The Place: Selected Bottled Schools. 12.00 House To House; Cottage Road Cinema £1.20 Can't Cook, Won't Cook: 9.45 Poddington Peas; 8.30 Open a 10.35 This Morning; 12.20 Morning With 8.40 The Record. 9.05 Calendar News: Weather; 12.30 12.30 Sesame Street; 1.30 Othello, 5.40. 8.10 LMUSU City Site Kilroy, 10.30 Good Door; Anne And Nick; 12.00 News: Schools, 10.00 Playdays: 10.25 News: Weather, 12.55 Home Madeline: 1_55 Adele And The OTT - 80s 8 90$ student Weather: 12.05 Turnabout. Numbertime; 10.45 Schools, 2.00 And Away; 1.25 Chain Letters: Ponies; 2.10 Snapshots: Lounge Cinema night. 12.30 Going For A Song, 1.00 Poddington Peas; 2.05 Open a 1.55 Coronation Street; 2.25 Baroness Wamock Jumanji. 6.10, 8.30 Prirnos II News: Weather, 1.30 Regional Door; 2.10 The Andrew Neil Vanessa; 2.55 A Country 225 FILM: The Verdict (1946). In The Groove • with DJs News. Weather. 1.40 Show: 3.00 News: Weather, 3.05 Practice; 3.20 ITN News Tense thriller starring Showcase Cinema Amanda Hammond & Neighbours; 2.00 Pebble Mill: Westminster With Nick Ross: Headlines; 3.25 Calendar News; Sydney Greenstreet as a (ring 01924 420622 for Sultry Sarah. 11.00-2.00 2.40 Snowy River - The 3.55 News: Regional News: 3.30 Potamus Park: 3.40 Victorian detective, setting limes) The Pleasure Rooms McGregor Saga; 3.30 Moomm: Weather; 4.00 Today's The Day; Wizadora: 3.50 Twinkle The out to prove a man 4.30 Ready, Steady, Cook. 5.00 Babe, Goldeneye, Good Life, with DJ Kelvin 3.55 Basa; 4.10 Rivals. 4.35 Dream Being: 4.00 Garfield And innocent of murder. Out Of Tune; 5.00 Newsround The Oprah Winfrey Show; 5.40 A Johnny Mnemonic. Loch Andrews of Golden. Doors Friends: 4.20 How 2; 4.40 Delta 4.00 Backdate 5.10 Blue Peter Different Country Practice Wave Ness, A Little Princess. 9.30-2.00. Admission £5 5.35 Neighbours 6.00 Star Trek: The Next 4.30 Countdown Pebble and the Penguin, 5.10 Home and Away. Selina 5.00 Ricki Lake On the door. Drinks 6.00 News: Weather Generation. Picard and notices that some of her 5.45 Terrytoons Wailing to Exhale, promotions - £1 a pint & 6.30 Regional News Beverly are forced to lace personal items are going Jumanji. Heat, Casino, £1 pits. Magazines the deep feelings they missing. 6.00 Blossom Bed of Roses, The Courtyard 7.00 This Is Your Life have always had for each 5.40 News: Weather 625 Home Improvement Dangerous Minds, Maxi - quiz with music, 7.30 Here And Now. Sue other 5.55 Calendar/Network North 6.55 Terrytoons Seven, Sense and 7.30-11.00. Entry free. Lawiey and the team 6.45 The 0 Zone 6.30 Tonight 7.00 Channel 4 News, 7.00 Assignment. A revealing Sensibility. Indian in the Cheap flavoured vodka, present more hard-hitting 7.00 Wish You Were Here...? including at 7.30pm Cupboard, Ace Ventura investigations and up-to- insight into life in Iran, 7.30 Coronation Street. Jim Headlines and Weather bottled beer & focusing on a body of loyal the minute news features. and Liz's evening comes 7.55 The Slot 2, Desperado, Father of entertainment. Quiz starts They Do That? footsoldiers who will 8.00 How Do to an abrupt end. 8.00 Brookside. Ron prepares the Bride 2 at 9.00. Prizes from The Eamonn Holmes and sacrifice their lives to keep 8.00 Tee Off Mr Bean, Starring to say goodbye to Mike Jenny Hull find out how the ayatollahs in power. Cooker. Nightmares On Rowan Atkinson and Lindsey as they leave the new Hollywood movie, 7.45 Unspeakable Verse Wax, Ryan Forde Salon, 8.30 Beyond Belief. Sir David for Australia. Hyde Park Picture 'Toy Story', was made 8.00 Ken Horn's Hot Wok. Ken Tortoise Clothing, Vague & 8.30 Travelog. Broadcaster and without cameras. Horn visits Whitby, where Frost concludes a live House many more. investigation into the world journalist Robert Elms 8.50 Points Of View. Anne hthise cooks crab for Flower of my Secret, Mex of the paranormal in the treks to Ethiopia and 6.45, 9 00 Robinson presents rman Joe Sion and - drum & bass. viewers's opinions. his wife. company of Uri Gaiter and discovers that there are The Phono 8.55 A Party Political 8.30 University Challenge. Britain's leading psychic areas of lush landscapes Pictureville Cinema Revolution - Indleirock. Broadcast by the Labour Jeremy Paxman presides healer. Matthew Manning with wildlife In abundance Clockers, 5.30. 8.15 Party over the battle between 10.00 Party Political Broadcast 9.00 Dispatches 9.00 News: Weather Southbank and Newcastle By The Labour Party 9.45 The Long Johns. John 9.30 Silent Witness. Drama universities. 10.05 News: Weather Fortune and John Bird series about a forensic 9.00 Yes Minister. Classic 10.35 Calendar News: Weather continue their brilliantly pathologist. Dr Sam Ryan political comedy stamng 10.45 FILM: Stir Crazy (1980). innovative series of biting becomes entangled with Paul Eddinglon as Jim Two losers from New satire. the occult when she is Hacker, and Nigel York, heading for a better 10.00 ER. Lewis must choose forced to carry out a post- Hawthorne. lite in California. are between advancing her wrongly convicted of a mortem on the body of an 9.30 Under the Sun. A film career and caring for Sum bank robbery and given ex-student. following the annual while Dr Greene's wife is 120-year iail terms There 10.20 Sports night. Football pilgrimage of an old involved in a car accident. highlights include tonight's is only one way out - a jell Ethiopian couple. 11.00 Friends. Monica plans a FA Cup fifth-round 10.20 The Male Survival Guide. break. Stamng Gene cosy Thanksgiving feast in replays; while Rugby James Bolam examines Wilder and Richard Pryor, her apartment for her Union looks ahead to the causes of Impotence 12.50 God's Gift. Five more friends - but things start to Saturday's matches in the and finds out what can be men try to gyrate their Wednesday Five Nations, with done to cure the problem way into the hearts of an go badly wrong. Scotland v England and 10.30 A Party Political all-girl studio audience. 11,30 Moviewatch Ireland v Wales. Broadcast By The Labour 1.50 Dear Nick 12.05 NBA XXL 11.50 FILM: The Experts Party 2.50 FILM: The Criminal 2.05 FILM: Gambling Lady (1988) Two hip Americans 10.35 Newsnight (1960), After a daring (1934). Vintage melodrama at a glance believe that they have 11.20 Dark Secret. An robbery, a gang member starring Barbara Stanwyck been hired to open a investigation into the Is arrested and sent to who, while following in her trendy nightclub in different treatments prison but will not divulge father's footsteps as a Nebraska. But in reality. available for Impotence. where he has hidden the professional card player they have been co-opted 11.55 Weathervlew loot. Starring Stanley father, meets and marries by the Russians. Starring 12.00 The Midnight Hour With Baker millionaire Joel McCrea. John Travolta. Andrew Neil 4.30 Jobfinder 3.15 Temporary Close 1.20 Weather; 1.25 Close 12.30 The Learning Zone 5.30 News 4.00 Schools

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• dtockars. S 30.8 it rj :-).tfrk...1- Thursday, February 29 Odeon Cinema r;j1.61,i Ricki Lake is Oprah Lite, an insightful Jemmy*. 1.10.335, 5.55, 825 Somehow I seem to be in look at the shneking, paranoid Santo and Serasibility, 1.35.4 45, The Underground front of a TV every time this walruses that would seem to 7.56 Casa Latina The best in Latin toe-curlingly embarrassing make up the American nation. Desperado. 1.00. 3.30. 600. 8.30 music - sates. bowie. mambo. and pitiable show hits the And if you can bear, behind Lock Ness. 1.05. 3 20, 5.45 boos, mamba. With OJs Chico airwaves. And every week your cringeing shame in the Father of the Bede. 125. 805 Maio 6 El Stevoloco and We they wheel out a cast of knowledge that you are DilOgROOVS kinds, 5.45.835 music Free donor dims with (normally enormously fat) watching such crap, to wait till Coturistisna Tame Cumin be** suburban Americans to bitch the end, you can watch as the MGM Cinema at 800 and .bands pelage at as deep as Rikki at each other. Are they same entire audience unleashes Casino 4 10. 7.40 10-30. Admission £5101 gang every week? Who their flabby anger on the days Babe 12.411, 225 LUU Harvey MIR Bar cares? The Ricki Lake Show scapegoat. Watch and Heal 4 15. 745 State of Ite Nation - beam. A Little Princess 1,00, 3.15. 5.45 retro, class= indie Mead And I 630 WU Hervey Milk Bar Sven Vath Mth Forth Noon- Cottage Reed Cinema BBC1 Il BBC2 £6.50 Omelo, 5.40, 8 10 Pleasure Rooms I Ch4 Mile High CM; I ilTv I Lounge Cinema Primo. II 6.00 Business Breakfast; 7.00 6.00 Open University; 7.15 See 6.00 GMTV, 9.25 Win, Lose Or 5.00 4-Tel On View: 6.35 Think Jumanii. 6 10. 8.30 Delicious- with Nick Rodger., BBC Breakfast News; 9.00 Hear Breakfast News: 7.30 Draw; 9.55 Calendar News: Tank, 7.00 The Big Breakfast; Stingray; (The Yard) 10.00-200 Breakfast News Extra; 9.20 8.00 Blue Peter: 8.25 Weather, 10.00 The Time... The 9.00 Fifteen to One; 9.30 Can't Cook, Won't Cook; 9.45 Tales Of The Tooth Fairies; 8.30 Schools; 12.00 House To House: Hervey', Place. 10.35 This Morning. Kilroy; 10.30 Good Morning Open A Door; 8.40 The Record; 12.20 Calendar News: Weather; 12.30 Sesame Street, 1.30 Showcase Cinema chart sounds With Anne And Nick; 12.00 9.05 Schools; 10.00 Playdays, 12.30 News. Weather; 12.55 Hullabaloo, followed by Chigley: (mg 01924 420622 for times! Ritzy News: Regional News: 10.25 Storyhme; 10.45 Schools; Home And Away: 1.25 Chain 2.00 Augusta and The Mouse; Babe. Golcieneye, Johnny Bananas • with Radio Awe Weather 12.05 Turnabout; 2.00 Tales Of The Tooth Fairies, Letters: 1.55 Emmerdale; 2.25 2.10 Waterways Mrenvnc, Loch Ness, A Little Plerml Earth 12.30 Going For A Song; 1.00 2.05 Open a Door. 2.10 The Vanessa: 2.55 A Country 2,40 FILM: Roxie Hart (1942) Princess, Pebble end the A Kick Up The Eighties - playing News: Weather; 1.30 Regional Andrew Neil Show: 3.00 News: Practice; 3.20 ITN News 4,00 Backdate Penguin. Wean° to Exhale. everything you love to Noe. 80p a News: Weather: 1.40 Weather:; 3.05 Westminster With Headlines. 3.25 Calendar News; 4.30 Countdown Neighbours: 2.00 Pebble Mill, Nick Ross. 3.55 News: Weather; Jumarill. Heat Casino, Bed of tent 80p doubles. 80p selected 3.30 The Riddlers; 3.40 5.00 Ricki Lake 2.40 The Flying Doctors; 3.30 4.00 Today's The Day. 4.30 Flom, Dangeroue Minds, Seven, bottles. Wizadora; 3.50 Rupert; 4.20 5.45 Terrytoons The New Yogi Bear Show; 3.35 Ready. Steady, Cook: 5.00 The Mike And Angelo. 4.45 Reboot II 6.00 NBA Senile and Senate* Indian n Charlie Parlor's Oprah Winfrey The Morph Files: 3.45 Show; 5.40 The 5.10 Home And Away. Kelly is 6.30 Moviewatch the Cupboard, Ace Venture 2, Shimmy- uplifting club desists Dinobabies: 4.10 Highlander: Sky At Night; 6.00 Star Trek: rescued from by Travis. 7.00 Channel 4 News Desperado. Feeler of the Bride 2 with DJ Ashley Demirel The Web: 5.00 Newsround Deep Space Nine 4.35 5.40 News: Weather 7.50 The Slot Fevershern 5.10 Grange Hill 6.45 They Who Dare. Freefall 5.55 Calendar. followed by 5.35 Neighbours parachutists Mark Hewitt 8.00 African Express. OW $iccroi Fresh new 0.1 talent Weather Features include the Hyde Park Picture House playing vintage house, dame. 6.00 News: Weather and Karl Newton base 6.30 Tonight 6.30 Regional News jump throughout the USA, wreckage of Zaire's Flower of my Seoul, 6.45. 9.00 garage, hie-hop and soul. Freer 7.00 Emmerdale. Emma has a collapsed economy, Magazines united in their defiance of controversial proposal for admission and cheap drinks 7.00 Top Of The Pops the police's attempts to Uganda's top female pop Picturevaille Cinema Zoe. group promoting feminism 7.30 EastEnders. Roy is faced stop them. 7,30 3-D. This programme with an uninvited guest at 7.00 Waiting For God. Diana and safe sex and the \e, investigates the increasing his party while Pat falls thinks Tom has a girlfriend. bloody war that has broken number of accidents out over control of South apart. 7.30 Regional Programmes caused by drivers who The Africa's minibus taxis. 8.00 Allen Empire. 8.00 Three Colours Cezanne. have taken illegal drugs programme looking at the Blue. A look at the final 8.30 Food File. A report on the 8.00 The Bill. Stamp sutlers a in insect world goes fishing masterpieces created by effects of cost cutting on h crisis of conscience. In the rainforests of Cezanne at the turn of the the dietary provision of 8.30 Blues And Twos. Search with Panama and Costa Rica. century. residents in old peoples' and Rescue have to race 8,30 The Detectives. Comic 8.30 Top Gear. Jeremy homes. mom moo against time to help a capers with the dim- Clarkson delivers his 9.00 Seasiders. The summer 1 In Campus Spanish seaman in ansAc witted detective duo, who verdict on BMW's Z3, their season at Haven's MN* •ettaystrAvel is ul travel distress in the Atlantic A manage to murder the answer to the Masda MX- Pnmrose Valley holiday Ocean. last remaining female 5, the MGE and the Atfa centre is proving to be 9.00 Thief Takers. As the We specialise in low cost travel Galapagos white- Spider. more glum than fun. Chinatown robberies for students and young people providing support flippered turtle on the 9.00 Shooting Blanks. A focus After continue, Scott uses 9.30 Annie's Bar. in over 150 offices throughout the world planet. on the taboo subject of Dashwood has made his 9.00 News: Weather male infertility Tate's cover to se! up a f (vA f OTN r nor f are f %Yr f PM. provocative maiden Saunders. 9.40 'sting' operation. ISTEROAM ri 43 67 DELHI Iv 207 377 MEXICO fr 185 359 9.30 French And The Male Survival Guide. speech, the knives are out The girls are joined by Sexually Transmitted 10.00 News: Weather, followed HENS 85 109 MILAN SS 110 by Calendar News for him - and that's just in HONG KONG 266 449 showbiz chums Kate Diseases. A no-nonsense his own party! STRALIA 396 499 Moss and Michael Praed. guide to men's health, with 10.30 A Current Affair NICE 49 97 10.00 NYPD Blue. The LAJSAN.FRAN.138 269 10.00 Crlmewatch UK, This advice from James Bolam 11.00 Calendar News And NGKOK 195 380 NAIROBI 189 316 detectives investigate the edition appeals for help on sex and how to get a Weather USBON 69 99 murder of an East Indian RUN 73 108 NEW YORK 83 165 with the investigation into sexual MOT 11.10 Prisoner Cell Block H. Lexie spots the headlines woman and Simone's IRO 119 235 MADRID 55 94 PARIS 28 SS the murder last October 9.50 The Travel Show of retired schoolteacher Essential Guide. Jill 'Madman murders prison feelings for Russell almost OUND tONDOWBANGKOIVITONG KONGAIALI/STITNEWCHRisTCHUROVSURTACEi Joy Hewer. Upton, editor of 'Business escapee'. interfere with the aLCKLANTYPAPEETFJL SURFACEMEW YORK/LONDON ROM (699 investigation. THE 10.50 Question Time. David Traveller', reveals how the 12.05 FILM: Vampire In Venice OR LD LOTIOONAICVSURTACEMEHOS AiRES/AuCKLANDI (1987). A beautiful woman 10.55 Whose Line Is It SYDPIEWIALJAONDON FROM 1899 Dimbleby chairs a topical hotels in many of Britain's debate from Norwich. cities offer bargain rates invites an eminent Anyway? We .1w nippy Tien Siberian RA monis American Guth Pane,. vampire scholar to come 11.30 Devil's Advocate foremen Train TS:Selland Panes Iran a vim tnalomr al ether 'WV feet 11.50 Crlmewatch UK Update for those seeking a 12,00 FILM: Jake Speed weekend break. and stay in her Venetian 12.15 Dispatches 1.00 Champions: Battle of 02/vea (1986). Jake Speed, a 10.00 Sykes. Eric is thrown into palace. The visitor soon hero who lives out the a panic after a dog bites crosses stakes with the The Bikes II • adventures in his him. fangs of Nosferatu. 2.00 FILM: The House Of partner's series of trashy 10.30 Newsnight Starring Klaus Kinski, Rothschild (1934). Lavish novels. comes out of the 11.15 Late Review Donald Pleasence and drama, starring George LEEDS pages once more after a 11.55 Weatherview Christopher Plummer. Arliss in the dual role of IN YHA ADVENTURE SHOP 117 - 121 Vicar Lana. Leeds 151 EPA young woman Is 12.00 The Midnight Hour With 1.45 Not Fade Away Rothschild father and son. abducted. Starring Wayne Trevor Phillips 2.45 Shift With Loretta Young and 0113 246 1155 Crawford and John Hurt. 12.30 The Learning Zone 3.45 Bushell On The Box Boris Kane livvvvv.campustravel,co.uk/ 1.40 Weather; 1.45 Close 4.15 Jobtinder; 5.30 News 3.35 Close

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t F1-114 S11111-_'41- 1-raIrcv Frbruary 16, 1996 _ 1

AND THE LEMAN

ks out the teen mags and asks JENNIFER MATTHEWS iN HENDE whether literature needs an age of consent

young girls to have a laugh about and in to the hands of children or people of a actions. At no point in the book is a when you are 13 is knowing that you are expression of ideas we like. I might he wfully learn something useful from at sensitive disposition. They should have moral statement made and the American breaking the rules. This phenomenon disgusted or shocked by some of the same time. Any girl who seriously warnings in the form of age certificates psycho continues his reign of terror would almost certainly repeat itself if litereature 1 read, and although 1 am not siders trying the 'More' position of so readers know exactly what to expect. unsuspected. Ellis makes the psycho's hooks and magazines were forced to exactly in favour of 10 year olds reading fortnight' must already be sexually behaviour seem the norm and suggests it carry age certificates. You would get a 'American Psycho'• but I ant more tie and therefore not in need of any is not uncommon for people to torture situation where little school kids would concerned that the right to free speech is ouragement anyway. But the description which conies on the and kill others for fun. He claims if you think they were really cool if they not infringed by the introduction of age back every book already tells readers maintain a normal and composed managed to get their mitts on a book certificates on magazines and books. niter. But magazines have a duty to what to expect, doesn't it? exterior you can get away with with a certificate 15 or la, in fact the ke teenagers aware of the potential higher the certificate. Jennifer: As we have already slipped too igen, of having sex. At present instead Jennifer: The the more of a boost far in a direction which is both socially wanting, girls are receiving signals description on the their street cred would and individually damaging, a certain nacdequacy, if they are sexually back is there to sell People who get over-excited receive. degree of control 14 needed to make the stive or haven't reached at least 'stage the book. so climb back towards a greater degree of by the age of 14. I'm not trying to obviously it is not Jennifer: You're moral responsibility. In a society already that magazines containing feature going to say about the More `position of the missing the point. the overun with violence there is no reason r feature on sex should he banned. anything which will point is society has a why we should bury our heads in the introducing some form of control deter potential duty to protect the sand and ignore the problem and every -r the age of the readership would reatJers.Vv'hen I was week' refuse to realise how poor young and prevent reason why we should refuse to give certainly do no harm. 17 I bought a hook them from reading potential psychos any more ideas how to called 'American inappropriate literature end lives in the grusome way justified by Psycho' by Brett sex education in this country is damaging literature of the 'American But tki you really think Easton Ellis which I What about the Psycho' variety. literature can have the picked up from a table in a high street anything. 'slippery slope' argument that if we start Although it may be true that certain same influence as say. a book store. The cover of the hook was introducing age certificates on magazines book', are particularly sick, just like illy film? nothing shocking. neither was the Robin: Well. I've read 'American and books, before we know it, any 'American Psycho' for example, there is description on the back of the honk. 1 Psycho' and far from making me want to literature considered even remotely no concrete evidence of individuals Robin: Absolutely, all can honestly say .1 had no idea about the go out and chainsass a woman in half, it 'damaging' by the government would he commiting copy-cat murders after being literature. especially hooks true contents within this book and if I left me feeling numb and convinced made unavailahle to the general public? inspired by such a publication. There is 1 demand that you had been aware I would never have read more than aver that violence is senseless also a danger of blowing the problem out concentrate much more it. This book was my worst nightmare. it and wrong. The success of books with a Robin: To let a moral minority, who of proportion, as Nell Cooka•hurid from than you have to when is disgusting, horrific. disturbing and similarly violent nature, such as 'Catch- mistakenly believe they know what is in the publishing company, Random House you're watching a film, physically sickening. I have never read 22'. and The Wasp Factory, depends on our best interests. set the agenda is to said. " Although 'American Psycho' is that's where their strength such graphic descriptions on the art of their ability to shock people enough to effectively give them the right to tell us extremely disturbing, hooks like it are If you start censoring books and torture and consequential homicide. This inspire them do a spot of soul searching what to think. Free speech is something few and far between, making age eazines by having warnings attached. book revels in the pain and suffering of and take a long. hard look at society. that most of us take liar granted in this certificates unnecessary. The I are putting at risk not only the others and makes no recriminations on country as a basic human right. introduction of age certificates on books !dons of speech that is the the actions of those who take pleasure in introducing age certificates to the world and magazines may well serve to dainental right of every author, but inflicting pain on others If reads almost Do you not think there is a possibility of literature would present a serious appease those who have decided to take the freedom of choice which is the like a guide book for the 'wannabe age certificates would actually encourage blow to this right. Sexually explicit or the moral high ground and criticise all of every potential =der- psychopath'. children to read certain books by violent material might be considered literature which is slightly risque. intensifying their curiousity? offensive by certain sectors of society. whether or not it would prove to he an The gratuitous sex and violence in the such as the 'Ban All Books Except the effective tool for protecting our nation's niter. I disagree. Books of a sexually book are less shocking than the fact that Robin: As far as I can see. the whole Bible Brigade', but it is hypocritical In youth remains debatable to say the notently explicit nature should not get Ellis is condoning his central character's thrill of going to set a 15 certificate film only advocate free speech for the least "

27 ARTHUR

ANDERSEN Careers 1.1-1-DS sT l 'DI NT Friday February 23, 19% 1

ARTHUR ANDERSEN & CO SC An honour and a Privilege

With so many students looking for part-time work at • the moment, Leeds Student asked one company to explain what they had to otter.

reds was already being usually refused by standard insurers, nick-named the 'call or have to pay large premiums centre capital' for 1)1100 because of their car, age, where thcv numbers. well before live, health, or a combination tit Privilege Insurance these factors. Larrived little over a year ago in So what's all this got to do with October 1994. As the sister company the student population? Unless of to the UK's largest direct motor course you happen to drive a Golf GTI. live in Leeds h. are aged under insurer Direct Line. on►r a few mis- informed cynics really though the 25 and have a couple of points on company would not succeed, but your licence, in which case you'll very very few predicted the huge need to give them a call? levels of growth the company has Well. like all good family been subject to. relationships. Privilege want a little Since its laugh, Privilege have bit more of what its big sister Direct more than tripled the original Line (Leeds) have had, ., student workforce. sold over 70.000 policies employees. and achieved sales in excess of 21 As some of you may be well million Not had for an insurance aware. Direct Line employ company that wants to write temporary full time staff over the business for the under-25s (like most summer period to deal with the of our good selve.$), drivers with seasonal increase in policy renewals. convictions, or disabilities and Last summer saw Privilege do the volume of calls since Christmas who need and take pan-tiern work, hest thing about Privilege is that people would own luxury. exe same for the first time. advertising in means we're crying out for more like students, do have other everyone you're working with is the cutive, sports, hot hatch vehicles, or the LMU lob Shop. The crew of operators now." commitments and we like to think same age as you, so you can have a have what is regarded in insurance forty were trained and on the phone Privilege have actually re- we can work around these good laugh off the phone, as well as terms as an unusual occupation. within two weeks. Mike Egan, arranged their recruitment training effectively, and still achieve our talking to all types of customers In short. Privilege specialise in Telesales Manager, at Privilege to coincide with the Easter break so objectives as an employer." from all parts of the country on the providing cover for what most Insurance, comments: "We'd students can train without it And on top of all this. it's apparently phone, Ii is quite good fun realty.. , insurance companies call the non- planned to take on more students affecting their university timetable. quite a good laugh as well At least that is if you can make it through the standard insurance market. In again anyway for the summer Maria Bourke, Operations Manager this is what Amy Barker, an LMU two week intensive on car laymen's terms, people who are period, but the increase in the says: -We are very aware that people Business Studies student, says: "The insurance!"

Privilege is a direct writing company specialising in non-standard motor polices, and was established on a joint venture basis by Peter Wood, founder of Direct Line, and The Royal Bank of Scotland plc. Since its launch in October ,994 the company has proved an amazing success and has been continually recruiting staff to cope with huge customer demand Now we are looking for a number of talented and personable part-time Telesales operators.

If you are bright, have a lively personality, enjoy working with people and possess basic keyboard skills, you could soon be joining a company that knows how to reward success. Whilst sales or insurance experience would help, it isn't essential - we will provide top quality training. In return we offer an excellent package: 20 hours per week, broken down into a variety of 4 hour flexible shifts between 9am and 8prn - paid at an hourly rate of £4.92, plus a productivity bonus and many other additional benefits. In the past our excellent experience of student employees has led us to believe that they are a valuable resource with much to offer our organisation. So why not talk yourself into a better and more exciting relationship with your Bank Manager by calling us now? Isn't it time you had0113 the Privilege? 245 4277 ...ring • • I (Lines open until 8pm this evening, 9am - 2pm Saturday and Sam - 6pm Monday - Tuesday.) pnviiege

welenence will be Oven a (rase modems who can otter a TetaVvely Iona term INSURANCE Onnmrtmeni tw e.arnOle hrst and second year students. athougn no-one is escligied iron, /moving Training wu begin doing the tinlet vacation 42 The Heodrow, Leeds LS1 8HZ

LIS 1.71A„ • Travel LEEDS STUDENT Pntbsy Fetwu,an 2 3. AV* -

E is For AzEdinburgh OF THE WORLD

The city of Edinburgh is a beautiful and intriguing place and one of Scotland's great cities. Its incomparable location, surroundedby volcanic hills and on the /' edge or an enormous loch, makes it worth visiting just for the scenery. There is more to Edinburgh than meets the eye, with both a vibrant student life and the more squalid, unattractive reality of Scotland today in the surrounding council estates. The architecture compliments the scenery perfectly with winding medieval lanes crowded with 16th century buildings. A further inspection reveals views which suddenly appear wherever you go. The Firth of Forth, the dominating castle, the towering Pentland hills and I the rugged Arthur's seat are all visible from parts of the —,.. peCd I - 460%- dry. ■0 di Ire In some ways this is the e 1.*Iillitr A se least Scottish of all her cities. Tourism may taken away some of its true identity, while it is also So you want to be a morTir. star? He/ailing for the bright likely that its multi-cultural society has changed the fare ur the city. lights of tinsel town may seem to be the way forward Edinburgh is generally represented as a civilised and reserved place, especially in comparison to blutLitISWIENROSE AND "bq I. MANDEVILLE uncover the livelier Glasgow. This is true to a certain extent but • there is a vibrant pub scene. 'the reaii pies of hunting st i ri i itiNtnotiollywol much related to the large student population which inhabits the city throughout must of the year. Added to this, a huge dynamism is round the world Anyway, we were later to lind out he diversity of society here. One minute prestige and success was more important released every year with the was president of a large international we'd he driving through affluent suburbs than individual personality. world famous arts festival. tickets generally banking company. We did not feel guilty. and the next we'd be in Bor.! 'n the hood Even though the city's main asset is Hundreds of acts flock to lead most travellers Unfortunately his intentions were not gang land. While 1 was to he living in the world of Hollywood it is surprising the city making August a to the west coast of wholly innocent, and a hit too friendly the lap of luxury the people in the Mack just how many people want to he in the great time to visit. A for our liking. He invited us back to his suburbs would he struggling. world of tinsel town. Almost everybody The reality of modern life America. The city of Angels room to watch films but found that he This did not mean that I was not I met wanted to be an actor. 1 asked one unfortunately rinds its way was my planned destination, was more interested in knowing one of pleased when we arrived at his apartment person what line of business he was in into the council estates on but an unexpected twist us intimately rather than watching just off Sunset Boulevard. A luxury flat and he said he was a stockbroker in New the outskirts of the city. Bambi. Not being that way inclined we with a fridge full enough to feed a small York but had come across to LA to be in Depicted wellin Welsh's allowed me an insight into made a speedy exit offering our nation was what faced me for my the movies. To travel 2,000 miles on an Trainvaning , the drug the lives of the rich and not- apologies for leaving so soon. He still duration in this city. Shucks. unfounded hope seems a little extreme to culture of the '90s has made so famous making this trip invited us to stay with him when we The only small problem was that me. this area one of the heroin passed through LA Unlikely. or so I there wasn't a bed for Me so he invited It is quite sad that these men were so and AIDS capital of Europe. all the more interesting. thought. me to share his. Hugger. I gave him the desperate for success they'd sell their Although Edinburgh has A place where image is all own grandmother to get a walk on pan its sorrier side it is still one important and everyone wants to in the next Chuck Norris film. of Europe's great cities. A he a star was waiting, On the face Desperation is an unfortunate thing and city for all ages. it is well it is perhaps inevitable that in the city of of it a city of beautiful. People in LA are so desperate to worth a visit and a perfect the stars there are so many who aspire to starting point for a trip successful people. but under the he in their position. The real tragedy is around the scenic country of surface a society of desperate and become actors they'd sell their most of those who want success will Scotland. sorry individuals. never make it but believe they will. 1 received my ticket into this The most genuine person I met Getting there and away own grandmother to get a walk on during my whole time in LA was on the world of the beautiful people from a was to the airport. Ironically he had the Train -From Leeds without small Chinese-looking guy who least to be cheerful about_ He said he had a rail card return tickets approached me and my friends part in the next Chuck Norris Film AIDS but was off to Europe to enjoy cost around £50, whilst in Singapore. He chatted for a himself with his partner. He did not care while and invited us hack to his Continuing my travels I eventually benefit of the doubt that he would not try about what people thought of him and Coach -Almost half price hotel for dinner a couple of days arrived in Los Angeles on my lonesome. anything realising I was not up for it. was on his way out of the self-obsessed but a skulking seven hours later. having split with my friends in the This did not stop hint playing footsie. world of this city. on National Express is not We were not sure of his ultimate Australian outback. Now a dilemma During my time in LA 1 mixed with LA is a diverse city where the gap my cup of tea. intentions but being hard-up budget facet! me. I was down to my last £100 this guy's friends and found something between those that have and those that travellers we accepted and were and had to accommodate and feed quite unexpected. Everyone in his circle have not is all too evident_ It appears Los pleasantly surprised when we found that myself in this not-so-cheap city for the of friends were rich and beautiful, Angeles is the American dream gone II you are interested in he was staying at the five star Regent next two weeks. I contacted my rich archetypal products of the American wrong. It is almost a freak show with hotel, buddy. dream. Although they seemed happy. people driving around the streets in writing travel articles This may sound a tad mercenary. but He picked me up in his BMW sports everything they said appeared to have a flashy cars pretending they're Brad Pitt. contact Justin Penrose when !Units are getting short. you ate in convertible and I got the first taste of tinge of falsity attached. With their On the surface everything is perfect. but on 243 4727 need of a little luxury and an offer like what life was to he like for the next extreme friendliness, take Urns and really this city is full of people who will that comes along you do not refuse fortnight. Driving through the streets of plastic perfect appearance I couldn't help not he happy until break into the LA the first thing that struck me was the hut feel this was a world where personal successful world of Hollywood. 29 14 L.IIDS STUDENT- Friday February 23.1996 Consumer Affairs

Trends may change but hair problems remain the same. Dry hair and split ends can cause even the most patient people to go for the chop. Shampoos claim to be an answer to some of our hair dilemmas. Jennifer Matthews puts some of the most popular brands to the test to see whether they are a salon solution...

Claim V dict V F M . , er This shampoo has a unique blend of silk protein and While washing it had a nice smell and a rich lather. It Swiss Swiss herbs which helps protect the natural beauty of was easy to rinse sin and my hair felt very clean and hair. leaving it full of body, silky, soft and manageable. soft. After washing it was easy to style and was tangle free. This is a bargain of a shampoo and at the 9/1 0 Formula moment you gut 500tril free.

This moisturising shampoo enriches dry and damaged This didn't have a nice smell but made my hair fed hair to give a new suppleness. shine and strength. Andrew really soft_ As a 'name' product it is relatively cheap and ii makes your hair totally tangle free. This is a 6/1 0 good product and also looks tip top in the bathroom Col linge cabinet. .

Level 5-Unites mild cleansing with a special I didn't like this shampoo. It didn't have a nice smell moisturising complex to gently clean and moisturise Salon and my hair st"1 felt dry after Ed washed it. My hair dry/damaged hair, did not look shiny and it was difficult to style. Selectives 5/1 0

Strengthens. nourishes and protects your hair leaving it My hair still felt a hit dry but squeaky clean. It had a healthy looking and with more shine and body than nice smell and my hair was full -bodied and easy to Flex ever before. style. This is a cheap shampoo and is good value for money. It's. not, however. going to make your hair 7/1 0 look like Cindy Crawford's, It's a good way though to 'Take Action..."

1 For hair that no only looks healthier but really feels it. There is a lot of hype about this shampoo which Pantene nourishes root to tip. basically is unjustified. It might make your hair look shinier but all it is doing is coating your hair-not cleaning it. My hair was left limp and lifeless and I 2/1 0 vow never to use it again.

This had an okay smell and left my hair feeling For special needs of frizzy, dry, colour treated hair. It cleaner-but a bit on the brittle-side. For people with Friz Ease cleanses and significantly alters the appearance and very frizzy hair then it could be a lifesaver but those controlability of hair. Flair will be smoother and glossier with dry or limp hair should stick with other brands. 7/ 1 0 instantly

This gentle formula not only cleanses your hair but it This shampoo has a nice smell and leftle my hair Vidal also conditions which protect it from damage. feeling very soft and manageable. My hair looked shinier and was easy to style_ This is very good value 101' money. Sassoon 8/1 0

/

Classifieds

Write in to the Advertising Manager, PO Box 157, Leeds University Union, Leeds, LS1 1UH. Alternatively, hand your message to the porters, marked for the attention of Leeds Student. GET PERSONAL

LMU BUNAC - stove things look building. Praise and totally against the BLJNAC needs schools to stalls held every like Bob Todd power. Heading union YOU - contact your encourage children STUDENT HOUSES Thursday, 12.30 - Guys and Dolls - and deliverance. All constitution! local stall tor to Mink 1.30 in S.U. March 5th - March welcome. March 5, March 9, details Paul Shelley - 1996 - 1997 Guys and Dolls: 9th, 7.30pm. Riley Organised by LUU 7.30pm Riley Dance show, sorry you didn't tickets on sale next Smith Hall. Only Christian Student Smith Hall beginning of term get the credit you HIGH QUALITY HOUSES FOR week in the LUU t3 Action Ask at the If anyone is going 3. tt you are deserved on the GROUPS 3 - 8 extension and Textile Society and Porters away tor the first interested in front page. CATS. Civil Engineering To the three babes semster of next taking part, see News reporters, Oh great, looks Society Ball on 1 1 met In the Hyde year and needs Modern Dance were sorry not all Many with gas central heating, showers, like I'm going to March at the Hotel Park pub. Kelly accommodation for Society and Ballet your stones went starve to death Metropole. Tickets from Durham, the second Society n You're all great alarms, separate lounge, etc. There's only LUU £22.50 for very handy with a semester only. noticeboards for Lot's of love, news dance band, and be members and £25 gun. ()lance (was Please contact times of ads aware of cheap non-members. that your name) Chloe Elkin on classesirehearsals Thanks to all for Avoid the rush - contact us now imitations Wed Includes 5 course from Devon, pool 2242075 DART. Drive top effort and 28th February, meal and shark. Louise Guys and Dolls; a Against Racism especially Des to reserve the very best. Harvey Milk Bar. entertainment. from London. we hot box for only Today. Next Wed. Lynam - how did Rents: £36 - £42 p.p.p.w. 9pm. Door tax: Tickets on sale laughed. we t3 1pm. Corn Aga. find that? £1/£1.50 Sound daily, lunchtime In joked, f forgot to Where are all you Anyone interested We actively support Unipols code movement from LUU and textile ask you out. sporty people. goes Into local Dream FM and It's foyer, Wednesday Please get in of standards Obvious and Friday 12-2. touch. To the 3 foxy Last ticket sales For sale. Brother temptresses In the 28/2/96 Ax-110 electronic Contact: house that was Guys and Dolls: typewriter with skinny as dental March 5-March 9. memory correction. Word MR BENSON floss. T►'ankyou Tickets on sale User manual. As for having me next week in the new. Only £45. MANOR PROPERTIES (fnar friar). I wish LUU extension Phone 01484 Processing you were my real and CATS 453669 47 Headingley Lane, Leeds 6 mums. Love Kate The Chnstien Guys and dolls - There are many typing services - so Moss and Robbie. fellowship. Sundays The battle of the what makes us different? TELEPHONE 275 8493 99% al those ugly 4-6pm. Union sexes. and all • Five years working withffor the Can you get serious drugs Flats and Houses for students of Leeds. • A personal service. on prescription? next session 1996-1997 • Staff working to yourschedule. TY researcher would like to hear from you If you've got anything to say about prescribed drugs. • Free collection/delivery. - for 2 - 6 persons in Neadingley area Bought or sold proscribed drugs? - all have central heating, showers, • Guaranteed quality/deadlines. Bone to the doctor looking for support and been proscribed drugs instead? microwaves and automatic washing • Experienced typists recognised Been proscribed something totally inappropriate or not bee machines by your University. warred shout side-effects? How easy have you found it to be prescribed prozsc, steroids, temszapsni, diazepam, propanolof, etc. - Rents from £34.50 per week each I'd like to hear about your experiences - whatever they are Book your dissertation early and - Bond payable: £75.00 per person Pletease feel free to fell me as little, or es much as you like to avoid the rush! confidence. l don't even need to know your name. strIcf Tee: Lynne or Derek on Leeds 2310655 Please contact Sharon on 0113 2444486 (DAY) or Telephone 24hr 01977 515452 0113 2 748345 (EVENINGS) Temple Way Properties LTD

Stolen Fencing Equipment STUDENTS! - DISCOUNT RATES: Sexual abuse is if anyone has seen: Swords Masks, CVs, THESES, WORD PROCESSING, not something Fencing Clothing BINDING SERVICE In St. Marks, Woodhouse or Hyde Park are, could they please inform: that happens by email; Steve on TSCOSUCOregistry.leeds.ac.uk Work Carried out By Appointment to meet or phone: Nick on 0113 2302269 your deadlines when you are or hand in to. Cromer Terrace Gym The fencing equipment was stolen from a car outside the Contact Toni on 0113 230 4156 Eldon Pub on Wednesday 13 February, in two large bags (24 hour answerphone available) young and then (one black, the other black and pink) Aslo one small holdall was stolen containing a towel and some clothing (Headingley based.) goes away; it Any information would be appreciated

can affect the NIP Nightlin! II usy whole of your ody's agency Monc dnesday and Friday, Licenos1.4n: III life. • Interested in going to Europe ? We're setting up a self-help • Looking fur a 6 - 12 month's break? • Warn to perfect your second language? rop Robin In group: if you think it could help • Need to have a place to live / earn some Minding, Yinlow level, along Upstairs In the you or that you could help then money? with coon and Rag please contact the women's Condikrns officer in complete confidence WilAT ABOUT BE1Ng AN AU-PAIR / + OR MOTHER'S HELP / NANNY 7'7? utsbuits in the union exec office or phone Leaflets and 23 1 4225 or e-mail woff@union Contact by Tel or Fax 0181 - 959 - 2399 or just a eh FOR INFORMATION._

16 LEEDS S rt '1/1.131 1.0flay. Et/mi.? 3 ; 1996 Total Football LEAGUE TABLE TOTTFL - Britain's biggest top fifty

I SIMON RIIP_A TOXIC MIX 281 THE FLOP SHOP %LARK STONli THE HAPPY CHAPPIES 270 KEY SWAINSON WINO COMMANDER SWAINSON 265 FORGET the leading 4 WILLIAM LEA WILLY'S WONDERS 264 lights in the Total THE REYEREE SIMON AMES RETURN OF THE MACKEMS 260 PANTEriiNiCON ROVERS 150 IAN RAY Football league! It's Leeds smiker smashing home a 25 DNA DANIEL KOBAK 260 yard right trot volley, The Match of FORD'S FC time to come hack HELEN FORD 260 down to earth and rub the Day competition seemed desuned 9 HOWARD CLARK SNAKE AND PONY 4,1 to become 'Yeboah's Goul Of the LOOK LEFT. LOOK Leer to= ALEX RR ISBOU RNE salt into the wounds of Month!' But just three Premiership THE INVADERS 2511 MA7 ALLEN goals and a very meagre 12 points T TW &R those players who have 12= GRAEME "[TIPPING 256 since October mmuts that the the ORANGE. TROUSERS 69ERS so far completely failed TOMBS 256 Ghanaian is safely nestled in the THE WOMBLEs 14 GRAHAM EVERETT 255 to live up to their runner-up spot NAME DIDN'T FIT FC IS SHAFT= ABDLILLAH 254 And while Alan Shearer.s PANTS ON 1100.1t PC 253 'financial value' and 16= STUART LovEGROvE points have more than justified his STUART HUNTER INTER SHEEP pre-season billing by 253 £10 million price tag, the other ballot S-RACHAEL SMMI JENNY TA1 WAICTS Xl 252 looking at this week's Blackburn's infamous SAS strike MARK HELM JUN INI40 FOR HORO 252 fop of the Flops!" fungi has somewhat disturbingly PHIL ABRAM CHUNK FC fallen fmm grace. Ray Harford's 21. BEN JONES WILTSHIRE WANDERERS Amazinely. the award preference for Mike Newell has left AFC TORPEDO ENGINES for king of the under- DAVID momusis 251 Chris Sutton very much out of Favour 23YASLAN AKDENIZ SPAL 20110 350 achievers this time amtind at Ewtiotl Park. and his failure to BRYN STAFFORD STOCKPORT Sim ERS 250 Week One goes to £8 million rated score it single poled since 25= EMILY ARMITACIE FOOTTIALES MY LITE 249 Matthew Le Tissier. makes him a non-mover at mimber3 AUSON HOLT MY DEAFEATEST ATTTR.DE 249 in our Top 10, and his £7 million Despite Southampton's 71 TOM HIGBEE GENGHIS 2411 perennial relegation struggles. he rating almost laughable. 28 DEN WHITESIDE ERANU 247 David Platt's much heralded has undoubtedly proved a key STEVEN TAYLOR ADMIRAL SELECT ELEVEN 24" return u/ these shores has also fallen player over the past two or three 10 DREW JOHNSON FLOSSIE'S CLIENTS 244 rather flat, though to he fair, as with seasons in fantasy league terms. 31 ANDREW BRACKEN JURGEN BUT AN-MILTON WE MI 243 the likes a Le Saint. Amleram and Supponers of the 'Super Saint' DANIEL LEw15 -rtIE POSH REVENGE 243 Wilcox, injury has been a major often point to this suceess as a AIDAN HIGGINS THE 1.10O'S BOLLOCKS 243 contributory factor. Nevatheless, it means of dispelling lingering NIGEL HILDITCH HATS OFF TO HILDITCH 243 should perhaps he no surprise that his doubts about his ability to 35= HAYLEY WHITTINGHAM HAY LETS COMETS 242 failure to display the creativity or contribute consistently. NICHOLAS REVINGTON GINGER N1NJA FC 242 imagination of old has coincided with This year however. things ANDREW HODGKINSON THE TRENT INDERS 242 his more into the Arsenal midfield! have been very different. Terry 18 LOUISE TUJISON SWEET FA 241 Vertablo' continued rejection and 19= MICHAEL SWEETE MICHAIS.3 MOOMINS 240 injury have clearly hampered Le PETER KELLY KICK TI TO KNARESBOROUGH 240 Tissier, but £2.66million per TOP OF THE FLOPS I. PAUL STREVENS SHAKEN NOT STIRRED 239 point is proving rather scant SIMON 1HIE -n*50N W'STON 0 B'CTIES DREAMTFAM 239 LE TISSIER 8.0 reward for the considerable faith MATT SAM BAILEY BOSS LID 239 and money invested in the TONY Y EBOAH 7_5 I 2 7.0 1 44= HELEN RIAD BKt 115114/ILt. BABES IN SHORTS 218 Channel Islander by many Total CHRIS SurToN 4 (iRAEME SAM 5.0 7 CHRIS SIMENTON EVADIF AND THE DREAMERS 238 Football managers. 5 DAVID PLATT 4.5 6 FAISAL RAHIM THE. KINKY MUPPETS 238 In the first few weeks of the 6 WARRF1•1 BARTON 4.5 MATTHEW MIT LB' l3 FAN culir VF.RY MUCH SO 238 season, 'local' boy Tony Yeboali 7 DARKEN ANDERTON 4.0 0 JON TOBIAS FOOTS A II. PIT 238 seemed something of a snip at 8 GEORGI KINKLADZE4.0 4 49= WAI MING YA LI MARRY ME LOLIISE-I 2_17 9 ALAN STUBBS 3.9 -3 £7.5 million, when barely a BENNETT MORRIS YELLOW FUN FC 237 weekend passed without the I0 JASON WTLCOX 38 0 TAKING LE TISS: Matt smiles bravely despite suffering a tragic loss c.•I 101771 Week ten players' scores. Are you on the right or wrong end of dodgy penalty decisions?

WI. Tot all SEAMAN ARS 0 12 050 10/415 UV U 17 17 SCALES L1V 3 14 77: !rtallAgosx3ry COY 0 A MU BARTRAM ARS 0 it 060 BJURNRYF LIS n 0 18 WRIGHT COY 11 2 003 BOSNICH AST 0 in 061 HILL MAC o o 19 CORLE MAC 0 X 77 ISMS cost All scores are correct for Premiership matches UM 51INK AST 0 0 06: BRIGHTWEIL MAC 0 -5 211 0 BRIGIITWELI MAC U 0 78 STRACHAN Coyo 'd .r ' t, LO5 FLOWERS BLA 0 19 OP PHELAN MAC -I 8 21 AMSTER MAC 0 3 79 COOK COY played on or before Saturday 17 February 006 MIMMS ELA 0 0 054 IRWIN MALI 0 17 22 SYMONS. MAC 9 II PO SA/AK° CON 0 4 (in BRANAGAN BM 0-11 063 P PARKER MAO 0 5 2 MALI 51 UMPAR OM DAVIDSON BUL U 0 066 MAY 54A1, 0 4 24 BALUSTER WO 0 15 Kt STIIA1CT ri,,4. ,,,E .00 3,ti 009 KHARINE CHE 0 7 067 BLACKMORE MID 0 .7 25 MORALS 100 place 225 points 1000 165 010 HITCHCOCK CUE I 3 Mt PEARSON MID .3 -5 2i) FLEMING rill)/ .:1 1 4541 11211672.1. EVE 0 16 011 DIAN COY 0 -11 069 fr WHYTE MID 3 2 :7 ALBERT NEW 11 11 81 ITINCHCLIPPO EVE 0 4 200 213 1100 160 012 GOULD C05 0 0 070 BARTON NEW 0 1 20 PEACOCK NEW IT 6 SO SAMWAYS EVE 0 0 013 SouTHALL BYE 0 II 071 CON MID -1 0 20 COOPER NOP 0 15 317 KANCHEISIOs lIVE n 014 REARMS EVE 0 0 07: BERESEORD NEW 0 2 10 CH•ILE NOF U 0 88 WALLAcE LEE 0 -5 300 205 1200 154 till LLIKIC LEE 0 -: an NnwiE NEW U X 31 YATES QPR •a .g ay SPEED LEE 0 .9 016 BEIINEY LEE 0 1- P74 PEARCE NO1 0 6 32 MCDONALD QM 0 2 90 MCAUISTER LEE 0 I. 400 199 1300 147 017 0 LAMES UV 0 19 075 LYTTU! snit o 5 91 D WILIT1; LEE 1,2 73 018 sTENSOAARD 11V n n n76 BARMAN igN ii 117 LI r$,MErt SHE -: 1) 02 WHELAN 500 193 1400 139 1110 COMB MAC n 0 077 WILSON OFR 0 13 ii RENAL.! SOT 0 1 93 T1NKLER LEE 0 4 MO IMMEL MAC 0 5 07k ATIISODN SHE 2 11 36 MONKOU SOT 0 5 54 REDKIPAPP UV 0 17 021 SCHMEIcliEL MAI n 14 079 PETRE5C11 SHE .1 08 57 HALL. SOT 6 4 id MCATEER 600 187 1500 130 022 WALSH MID .3 5 050 NOLAN SHE .7. 0 111 CALI/0MM* my 0 It oa 54CMANAMAN LIIII°V I '' ON MILLER mi0 II 0 931 noun 501 0 7 39 NETHERCOTT TOT 0 1 97 KENNEDY 11.:1:11:v of: 19.1 i 700 181 1600 119 074 HISU3P NEW 0 0 0112 CHARLTON SOT 0 2 40 !/ABBOTT TUT 0 It 98 BARNES 025 SRNICEK NEW 0 II 083 S CAMPBELL TOT 0 24 41 POTTS WHA 3 7 59 IIARKNIOS 800 175 1700 101 076 CROSSEEY NOE 0 u IIPM EDINBURGH TOT 0 6 42 MARTIN WHA 0 9 NO SEADRIE MM OD T WRIONT NOE 0 0 MI5 KFASL AKE TOTwH4 09 04 044 RTIZERwriauAsEraD zWirt4$ (in -a. 31 ::Slif4MERoortBill IAT. : 900 171 The 104.10 0211 ROBERTS QPR 0 0 086 BREAKER (1 -3 fk, bed by M1111 Raper 019 DYKSTRA QPR II 0 05, ROWLAND WHO. 5 0 0 Musym T,F, 030 PRESSMAN SHE -I , a UM DICKS WIIA 6 10 46 IIEU)ER ARS 11 S AM LOMAS MAC 0 -4 233 RYAN JONES 000000 23:10.56; 0/1 WOODS SHE 0 : 059 ELKINS 0 -1 47 JENSEN 9 SHE 0 0 701 YORKE AST 0 53 NI SMILES WIM ARS 0 -2 205 RCTT slAU 0 734 WADDLE SHE •:. 4 20.3 GALLACHER 292 032 UROMAAR SLIT 0 0 090 10SEPH WIM 0 0 4. PLATT ARS 0 0 2.15 KINKLADZE 4 01A 0 2 HENDRIE MAC 0 ZS LE 11551101 SOT 0 3 NA SI/T7ON RI A 11 I 2971 033 BEASANT NIT 1/ 4 1191 Ithkull.p 0102 430 mliasoBARLOLNIR ARS 0 0 2171 MCCIAIR MAli 0 t I FIORTOFT OM WALKER TOT 0 10 001 BLIELD 301 (1 : No. SHEARER BLA 0 0 294 BARMBY Alts 0 ABS 017 Mill SSIARPE SIM' 0 2 :11)2,"' M A (nlitt 035 THORSTVEM 7111 0 u 091 ADAMS 11 Sr ITOS"N!4 stir 0 5 UP3 IIEFRATIAS HOL 6 12 103 KITSON ARS 0 HILLIER ARS a Jr 2119 KEANE MA1' II 5 250 WIDDRINGTON SOT 0 3 :67 NEWELL NEW 11 0N3 1411CLOSKO WKS. 3 10 00.1 KEOWN ARS 0 10 3: JOHNSON AST 0 13 2111 ROBSON' MID u FM-A) u 72 100 BEARDsLEY 23 017 SWAPS 177T D 2 260 PAATELA1Tst7i BOL U 4 NEW 0 32 WIM 0 .7 095 MCGRATH AST 0 In 51 SOUTHOATE AS7 0 4 :11 3411SHIE 2- I 2-241° OM SULLIVAN WIM 0 4 0 DCHAII47:1EARIOL 0 0 20970 (.540Cy0IIENLAY „IN 112,W1 00 3 090 EITIDGU AST 0 I 3 m DRAPER 111 1-0(iNETI MU) I 1.0 HOwELLs TOT 039 DIXON ARS 0 13 1107 ASS IS ° 2! Is L ROL 0 0 -2471i SMFEILE:r°1174/INEASE3I vaunin. n 35 TOWNSEND AST 11 6 24: AN DERTDS TOT 0 n 271 PURLONti CUE (01 11 :2 KO CAMPBELL NOE 1.1 040 WINIFEBURN ARS P 10 096 HENDRY aLA 0 213 36 TAYLOR AST 0 7 :141 GALA :45 EASILEY (III CHARLES AST 0 16 4519 KENNA Ill 4 !ILA 0 I Ill 1- TOT 0 1 272 SEEN 301 LEE Q1190441 0: I7 023 57 HOLMES FE tATWV 001) 1(131 244 MC/AARON 101' II in :73 SPENCER CHE1 1'14 :42 3 051 SMINTIN AST II 5 II MBEs SOL 0 -I sa DIF.RWOOD BLA 13 15 116 110T7 INGER NEW 0 0 043 KING AST 0 1I 01 12-1465 HALLE741.1TCHIPISON WIIA 0 •3 274 I(I'OIIES CHE 0 5 3% GAILISNniCIlit) QpR0PR l o rAincLoinut awn. 0 A 39 BATTY BLA 0 II :17 WATSON NEW 0 12 WIIA 0 II 275 salLOV C■44 LE SAM' 81A 0 7 02 TAGGART ROL U -4 60 WILQ3X BLA 0 0 :11 PDX NEW 0 10 101- PENRICE 011 LIERG OLA LI 16 03 (11)1E1/1431 ROL 1 3 247 BISHOP wHA I -2 Vc. D DUBLIN 305 HIRST 61 RIPLEY BI-5 0 It :DI ROY 504 0 14 2411 RUSH 0 0 063 BEROSSON BOL II .1 04 JOHNSEN CHE 0 3 61 WARHURSI BLA 0 -4 TN STONE NOT 0 WHA 271 1111)FITAT CE1C:EVI 0°U II 306 BRIGHT (117 PHILLIPS BUL 0 t1 249 HoLMEs 1111A U 1.1 2713 AMOKACH1 EVE LI 7 301 W1111-11NtillAM 961/551Heffi 1°01 25 OS GUI.1.17 CHE 1 7 63 LEE 1101. 6 3 III IIARTWILLIAMS Not, 0 -s ISO MOWER WHA U I 179 FERGUSON 048 POWELL BOL 0 0 06 KIELDHERG Lie 0 0 64 GREEN BOL 3 3 222 PHILLIPS 11401 0 -7 EVE 0 1: 3013 BANGER 07 10155T 261 V IMPS WIM 0 -1 2010 MASINDA LEE. 0 0 309 EKLUND SMOTE 0° -11) 049 SINCLAN. CHE -1 -3 cov e s 105 1110MPSON 223 GEMM1LL NOE 0 : `252 FEAR WIM 0 0 ata CLARKE CUE i 3 011 RENNIE COY 0 .a 00 PATTERSoN 110:141_. 01131 4.41 224 WeATS Nt3E u 3 2151 YEIP3AH LEE 11 12 510 MASKEEL SOT 0 0 051 MINOT CHE ft 0 09 EVIL 0 3 241 f2A111 WIM 0 1 262 DEANE LEI 0 II 311 ARMSTRONG TOT 0 31 anvil 67 SNEEZES 223 BARKER QPR 7 1 214 ARDLEY WIM 0 0 283 EOLI.YMORE On BORROWS CL/5 it 2 10 WATSON EVE 0 IS- to MCIDONALL7 ROL 0 0 226 IMPEY QM 2 -T UV 4 11 312 SIMINGRAM TOT 0 23 071 5 MORGAN COY a a Ii 235 E_AkL4 W1M 0 5 2114 RUSH LIV 0 14 713 ROSENTHAL wFATHERALL cm u 2 69 BURLEY CHE 0 4 227 HOLLOWAY 256 CLARKE WIM 0 2 285 POWLER 034 BARRETT VIE. 0 0 LI UNSWORTH 4 UV 4 62 314 COTTEE %%TA °0 171 EVE 0 22 70 NEWTON CHE 0 :Eta somt..mit 257 I WRITHE!' ARS 0 22 WHA 0 0 055 JACKSON EVE 0 11 13 PALMER LEE 0 0 71 WISE 221 SINTON 146 CREANEY MAC U 3 113 056 MIN LEE 0 I 14 IIEF_SLEY 256 BERLIKAMP ARS 0 76 :87 ROSLER MAC U 10 Alb H°E-REMORLE Y WHA 0 Cl0 MIX 0 0 7: PEACOCK 1-1:r 17 IS' 250 PILMILRIIKIE 159 FENTON MT 0 A 288 057 DORM 1.1.11 n .1 26 N M1104 MAC 0 10 317 HARFORD W153 0 3 IS WI/DOCK UV n 77 SPACKMAN CUE 0 D 231 SHERIDAN ,13141E46E 0 2221 260 HAMMON ABSn 6 289 CANTONA OW WORTHINGTON LEE 0 0 16 BARB 74 SITE 111{1) --e 4 MALI 0.1-2 318 EROXIJ WIM 0 IR UV 17 14 RoCASTLE TNT ri 1 232 ntrarrsr -1 17 201 MI1 nsEvic 351 o "Yr.. 290 coi_u MAL1 0 9, Stu HOLOSWoRTH WIss 0 21) TOTAL FOOTBALL IS BRITAIN'S FIRST AND BIGGEST STUDENT FANTASY LEAGUE COMPETITION 32

Sport LEEDS S'IliDENT Endgy February ii. 1994 1 BUSA results STEADY EDDIE round-up Edwards stars in

BADMINTON Christie Cup win

ALTHOUGH not 100 per FENCING cent fit. Jeremy Edwards By Tont Stanley LUU Men 9 Sinnunthrun I S finished over five minutes ULTU Women 17 Kuck- if the course before being ahead of the field as LUU's forced to retire due to injury. FOOTBALL orienteering club smashed The women surpassed the Cup their Christie men's excellent results. with Warwick 2 LUU 1 sts 0 opponents Manchester and 1.UU 2nds 2 Durham I all four finishing in the top Sunderland 10 LUU 411is 0 Liverpool on Sunday. 20 on their 4.5km course. Edwards overcame the First home was Helen HOCKEY sleet and buffeting winds to Hargreaves, continuing her Sheffield 3 LUU Isis 3 (4-I on complete the 6.8km course. siring of top results, with a peas) which featured a 380 metres time of 43,08 which earned Cirwe 2 LUU Inds 213-4 on climb, in 55min 12sec. her first place overall. Her LUU 3rds I Durtunn 6 Newcomer Sam Gibbs training partner Jenny Ripon 6 Women's lads 0 also had an excellent run. Keeling also did well. Women's 3nIs 2 Tivni I I 4,1,w , finishing in 62.23, Captain finishing inside the top l0 in LACROSSE Steve Hall, suffering from a 48.25. These two results very hard training schedule, were well hacked up by 1.,LIT 6 LAsughhorough II failed to perform to his usual Helen Pearce and Lynne NETBALL high standards. but still came Gillespie with times of 49 34 well up the field in a time of and 52.47 respectively. LUU Isis - walkover 74.56. Although both Tom Stanley and Gary Manchester and Liverpool RUGBY UNION Slater also put in above had a few good individual Humbeolde U LUU 14s SO average runs, the former results they lacked the LLTU 2nds • walkover 'Both Plait• enjoying his first outing for strength in depth which several months due to injury. earned Leeds an emphatic VOLLEYBALL Fresher Steven Conway victory for the second year 9.■mnris alkuYrr j ORIENTEERING EXPRESS: Jenny Keeling en route to her top ten finish In the Christie Cup on Sunday battled his way around most running. On your Blocks R Time is the key...

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Who's the greatest?

KEANE FOR CHANGE: The nee: European Cup proposals could benefit consistent domestic pertormers Manchester United FERDINAND SHEARER

IF ENGLAND are going to he I BELIEVE that Fneland will win serious contenders in the European the European Championships this Championships this summer, Terry' summer, and I believe that Alan Venables must accept Alan Shearer Shearer will score the goal that hasn't got the stomach for wins the final. iterause I believe international Football and avid for that Terry Nenables will finally EURO MADNESS b'liiirih r.Les' to fill the centre forwardfo find the right way to use the Blackburn Rovers striker In his It's been so long since Shearer team. scored for England that the last time By Koli Ohene-Djan broadcasting companies. Alan Shearer is the moo prolific UEFA are desperate to have he found the back of the net Norwich scorer in Briuun. Year after year he THESE are testing times Champions Cup to the big names in the City were in the top six of the piles up the goals for a team which is for UEFA. European European Cup in order to Premiership. In the intervening season no inure than mediocre without him. football's governing body. facilitate a lucrative TV and a halt' the Blackburn star has He's the complete centre forward. They face a series of rights deal. Perhaps UEFA looked increasingly hesitant. cautious fast, strong, good in the air, skillful crises. including a feel threatened by the and uncomfortable whenever he's and lethal in from of goal. Give him volatile descend into farce worn the three liana on a white or potentially prospect of a Super League. a chance and he'll soil any clean European Championships. trends maroon background. sheet. Frankly, this just dues ridiculous to think they and want to incorporate the the threat of European Fealinand's chances have been Venables has quite simply not not sit well - 'you shouldn't could face the likes of big clubs into their own giants forming a break- limited at international level. largely given him the chance. No. Shearer change a winning team: Barnet on Saturday and competition to negate the away Super League, and the because he played so long at has not seared for Englund in nine and 'if it ain't broke don't Barcelona in midweek. need for or possibility of a issue of work permits which unfashionable QPR. However, when games. but why is the buck stopping try to fix it: are two How can you have a Super League. is now reaching the ticketed against Holland and Poland at him? Rather than replacing phrases that spring to mind. Champions League that It is most likely the sole European court of appeal. during England's last forlorn World Shearer, Venables must look to take The alterations suggest a contains has-beens? reason for the change is So why have they chosen Cup campaign, Le, provided the the responsibility off him. Play him hidden agenda and him that Executive money. There would be to add to their mounting FA Chief dynamism up hunt which was lacking with an out and out poacher, and the people who hold sway Graham Kelly called Radio bigger crowds, more games. troubles by changing the helm the like; of Wright and Shearer. watch him thrive. may stand to benefit. If this 5's 606 football phone-in more merchandise, more one competition that is an Whereas Shearer's game is suited I believe England's strike force is the case, UEFA could last weekend after a fan had sponsors. bigger TV deals unqualified success, and is to Blackburn's constant supply of for the European Championships destroy its own reputation voiced his dismay at the and consequently more greatly respected around diagonal balls and long passes mai the should be Shearer and Fowler. Here's and fall apart, proposals for the European money. the world - the European channels, Ferdinand has developed why: Cup? For although the winners Cup. He explained he his style in the more fluid passing of each league would still thought it was a good idea. Meaningless systems at Loftus Road and especially Devious Winners automatically qualify for although he favoured a at St James' Park. Indeed. at the European Cup. so would shorter period for The other consequences. Newcastle Les operates in a formation As last season's pannership with Chris Sutton proved, Shearer This annual tournament teams deemed fit to play. measuring a team's however, would he a strikingly similar to that which is contested by the winners regardless of their league suitahilty for the meaningless competition, Ve.nablea favours. responds to other players. So often for Erighuid, devious defenders have of every domestic league in position. The only criterion competition, maybe five the disillusionment of Europe and the defending is that they have had a good years instead of ten. players. coaches, managers. Powerful forced him out onto the wings. Shearer is uncomfortable in thiase champions. The UEFA playing record in the Unfortunately, even the fans and anyone involved Les Ferdinand is probably the situations. and the problem is proposal is to broaden the previous ten years, people at the top of English with the game and a most pacey and powerful forward in compounded by the fact his crosses European Cup to include Farcically, Manchester football are in favour of this contrived Euro-Name for the top flight. He can brush off have encountered penalty areas teams that have repeatedly United could he relegated unwelcome. unnecessary our European Cup. them, challenges nonchalantly, and although devoid of any England players with shown they have what it in successive seasons to the and laughable change. how does European his finishing is often less than subtle. the finishing touch_ Fowler has takes to enliven the Third Division and still Arguably, with the Monetary System Cup he resets misses the target shown this season that he has a real compent1011. play. in Europe. It is spiralling fees paid out by sound? I think not. Furthemioni, he can leap head and instinct fur arriving where the ball is. shoulders above his marker and can With the responsibility off his spring from a standing start better than

anyone. shoulders for goal poaching. my The combination of pace, power guess is that Shearer. like Stan and aerial prowess makes Ferdinand a Collymorr at Liverpool. will start FINAL DEFEAT Durham drama very tnan to loam quiet. Peter scoring again. Defences will not Beardsley has laid on the perfect know who to mark. He will pull them A NAIL-BITING final styish and imaginative TWO I.eeds players were scarcely reflected the service for him at Newcastle and out of shape by being able to run ended In narrow defeat performances in which sent off in the closing balance of play. as Leeds could play a similar ink for England. wherever he wants. and if he finds for 1.74IUSU's women's they scored 14 goals. A 7- minutes of LMUSU's played well only to be Alternatively. Ferdinand could himself in the penalty area instead of hockey train at a BUSA 3 win over LIR! secured hockey team's 4-0 BUSA underdone by their failure operate w ith Teddy Sheringhain. his partner. I certainly won't be indoor event last their spot in the final defeat at Durham on to cope with Durham's set whose sublime match Find awareness writing in disgust to Points of View. weekend. Sarah Fitch had an Wednesday. piece routines. would compliment Ferdinand's Misused, Alan Shearer it average. Teeside earned a 2-1 outstanding tournament James Chapman and The hosts took the lead rampaging runs and incisive breaks. Bin if Venables is prepared. to build victory thanks to their in partnership with My Chris Tung both received from a short corner after To put it bluntly Terry Venahles. his system around the Premiership's slick short corner Woodworth. scoring 11 their marching orders for ten minutes and increased we're become tired of Shearer's top scorer. he is liable IP reap the watch routines and sharp goals. Goalkeepet Anya strong tackles which their lead from an identical errors, and we demand Ferdinand. rewards this summer. Europe out, Shearer's about! finishing. Gray was also in fine capped a frustrating source midway through the Paul Richardson Leeds reached the fauna, uaakin series, •nilePlOPIt • • • •••Airivr■-....w. Paul .Goldscuilh final with a series of superb saves The 4.0 scoreline strikes completed the rout . Sport I.t VD,. VI 1,1 ti : • 19 9freat Sfrittioft Wio-ott-estn gooNo 6: Gozzo's free kick IT'S THE ULTIMATE By Chris Leadbeoter N' I.: RI ROD 1. remembers the scene: April 14 1991, the FA Cup semi-final between Spurs and Arsenal at Wembley. Ili Arsenal were firm favourites. but with five minutes gone Spurs were EXPERIENCE awarded a free kick just left of the centre of the penalty area, about 35 yards from goal. Catch qualify for national finals It looked too far out for a direct shot, but nobody told Paul Gascoigne. Cue Barry CATCH 22, LUU's ultimate Davies saying "Surely by team were beaten by their arch isn't going to hit it From rivals Chevnan At-lion Flash in Report by Zoe Feller there?" followed by a screech a thrilling final at last of "Oh. he has," as the hall weekend's Northern Indoor hammers. pulls and hacks. match routine. The players all curled around the wall, and Open Championship. The Diving all over the floor in an stand in a circle while the two into the top right-hand result was not decided until the attempt to catch the disc is a captains make a short speech un Corner. David Seaman last point, the lead having layout. and a tenon is a really had how much they enjoyed playing just got a hand to it, but fell changed hands continually. drop. Anyone can play and it is a each other, then the party pieces to the ground with a bemused ago In spite of the mixed sport. although as the begin. Phan Eds dramatisation of "How did he heat me from disappointment. Catch were standard rises, the teams tend to the James Bond opening there?" look on his face - not quickly consoled by the fact that be male dominated. But as any sequence made Catch's to be repeated until his both they and Action Flash have player will tell you. the games "Chocolate Orange" look encounter with a certain qualified to reprt...-sent the North are only half the sport positively amateurish, but they Nayim four years later. at the national championships Tournaments are weekend have pledged to improve this Arsenal lost the game by a this weekend in Manchester. events and start on Friday night aspect of their game. rather unfair senteline of 3-1. Nonetheless, captain Nick with a few drinks. The teams LUU's first ultimate team but won the League by a Smith was disappointed: "It was play hard all of Saturday and was the Leeds Lizards, who died mile. Spurs took the Cup, a hard fought game." he said, then the party begins. Catch are out when the core of the team despite Gazza's more "completely intense. champions in all areas. having graduated. Catch 22 were formed infamous 'free kick' on Gary LInfirtunately we lost. but well won all the party awards at recent four years ago and are a growing Charles which put him out of get them next week" tournaments. These trophies are sports club. Practising four times the game for almost two years, Arguably, Gaza a result of much practice and a a week. they are very proud that still Revenge hasn't recovered. but if at high level of proficiency at the whole squad turns out ter Euro 96 he proves me as All this talk of revenge is not events such as the Three Pint each session. The future looks really in the spirit of ultimate, a bright too, since the three teams wrong as he did Barry Challenge and Team Thquillas. Davies, England may well game in which fair play is as include a large number of which are held on the hour every prosper Then again important as the result. Uhiniate hour. After that, the challenge is freshers and two internationals, was developed in the USA in the to get up and play half decent Simon Hill and Nolo Nistri 1960s as an antithesis to ultimate the next day, Catch are Bubbly American Football, and came getting quite good at that too. over to England via Warwick with one win and three runners- The cheesier the better for ACTION R EPLAY University 17 years ago. up spots in their last four Catch players. Champagne It c aft be played indoors or ultimate is the way they describe tournaments. THIS WEEK IN SPORTS HISTORY outside on pitches of various It was at one of these their game. "Free flowing, sizes, and points are scored by tournaments that Catch-acquired bubbly ultimate." said Smith. No 8: England hammer Pakistan catching the disc in the end zone_ They have not yet cracked open their chant. an essential part of Cricket World Cap, 2 March 1992 It is incidentally a disc and not a any team's setup. At any time the bubbly. but this weekend's frisbee. frisbee being a brand during a game. a cheer of "Let's competition should provide at By Darren Behar name. go the whole hog, Lemon." will least one cause for celebration. FOUR years ago England There are a variety of ways of fin the hall. This is just one of the Even if it is the party award or flew out of the blocks throwing the disc. forehand as strange nuances of the ultimate the fair play trophy. Catch will be destroying all in their wake, world. Another is the end of smiling. well as backhand. overhead WE'VE NICKED IT: Captain Nick Smith celebrates Pic: P. Cotton as they made an impressive start to the 1992 cricket World Cup. England were favourites and went into their match against Pakistan on the hack of ..111 two victories. It was a mime in which only rain deprived Gooch and his men of a stunning victory. England bowled and fielded like men on a mission, dismissing Pakistan for their lowest ever one day total. a paltry 74 runs. The pick of the howlers was that old warhorse. Derek Pringle. who waded in with three wickets. Only a torrential downpour, which restricted England's innings to a few avers, saved laved Miandad. the Pakistan captain, from greater humiliation and earned his side a place in the semi-finals. Miandad went on to declare England as his bet for the cup. e Sure enough. England blazed a trail to the final only to he 111 defeated by Pakistan who had paced themselves to peak at the perfect time. England were all burnt out. Let's hope this time fortune shines on England, and we hit top form at the right time. MATT'S THE WAY TO DO IT: Malt Hynes prepared to block a Chevron Action Flash attack during Sunday's defeat In the final at Leeds Pic: Pete Cotton

35 tL SithEeirIV SPORT STbbWPIT SPORT riff-LI VAT

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LANCASTER 6 LEEDS 36 LLili American Football uarter final tie new By Steven Duke ULTRA TRAVEL quarter. and although In the final quarter a quick yards from goal. they 'Acre AN EMPHATIC win over Lancaster levelled pass by Dale allowed Bourne fonunate not to he punished by Lancaster brought Leeds immediately, the Bombers to enjoy the freedom of the a profligate Lancaster side. Students Union Building - University of Leeds Celtics' regular season to its lacked the offensive skill and sidelines. and on the next drive Overall. Leeds' defence close and ensured them delensive muscle to sustain a the quarterback released Cliff impressed. Nose tackler Mat home advantage for their challenge. for the final touchdown. Davies was the top tackler. GREAT FARES TO THE while cornerback Mat Warner For national quarter final clash After Dale ran in (ruin the When Leeds concentrated with Strathclyde. 35 yard line for a touchdown they showed the form which also enjoyed a big tackling Leeds were rarely troubled in the second quarter. Leeds could lead them to the national game. FAR EAST as their offence. led by began to impose their title. However. they made too The Celtics go into the quarterback Chris Dale. authority. Bourne collected a many mistakes for a team playoffs after finishing top of dominated. 15 yard pass from Dale to under little pressure. their division with seven wins Running bark Karl Bourne claim his second touchdown This inconsistency was and one defeat. Bangkok, 193 gave the Celtics the lead with a and give the Celtics a 28-6 lead illustrated at the end of the They take on Strathclyde at touchdown early at the halfway mark. third quarter. Fumbling 12 Hong Kong 266 in the first Weetwood on Sunday. Kilda Lumpur 217 1 NEXT WEE Singa Pore .E 217 ELVIS PIED laTtE,45,-)APVEP2uPfLIES ,tm comouctite 'OUR 5ID5 can 4ou pi am iflat track LiOtk OH $ 0D 'E',I'MoN viRTuAL. Pi4 IN =PIN Dett5r1OMOPI HOUSE? 8yezi last. wietThe one *at REAL-TEA I. i10. INTO D Haug E RAV uR sips at'at r— For information on these CuLTORE.WMAT,Do urea Wee woot...*9_woot." uloo? 01 i RousE? i t..A' tm' and other great fares you KNOW ABOUT hat do tiou Aciz HousE? warrt- to onow % .....- call on Ultra. about ourscis 1 use IP tax srliacfo '

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