11Who will win? IF A GORILLA FOUGHT JOE LOUIS

IT was Arthur Brisbane. the fighter could knock out a goril- writer, who on the eve of an 1a. ?" important championship heavy­ Buck said, "I certainly do. I weight fight once wrote a bit don't think he'd have any trou­ contemptuously, "A gorilla ble." could lick them both." The "How about it, Mr. Bris­ line was widely quoted and bane?" I asked, but Mr. Bris­ Brisbane often used it. bane only shook his head. He Eventually fighting became said, rather emphatically, afttr my trade. I was interested in Frank Buck departed, "Tunney, every phase of boxing and of don't let that fellow fool you. human anatomy. I learned a gorilla could lick three men." early that a boxer to be success­ Mr. Brisbane went to his death ful must know a great deal convinced that a gorilla could more than how to land a punch. lick any man alive. He must know where to land I asked the late Martin John it so that. it will have the most son, the explorer, about it. effect. He must know his own "A gorilla is a sluggish body and he inust strengthen thinker," Johnson said. "He parts of his body which were only knows one attack. He never meant to absorb punches goes after something and grabs -the solar plexus region for with his hands and then hugs instance. Out of sheer curiosity it to his breast, crushing the life I often talked over Brisbane's out of it when possible." statement with medical men It is my firm conviction that who knew anatomy and with any fairly good heavyweight explorers and wild animal men boxer could put a gorilla to who knew gorillas. sleep or to rout within two I happened to be seated next minutes. to Brisbane at a political gather­ The gorilla is a big boy. but ing in Chicago. Frank Buch. a Dempsey left hook landing on the explorer, walked up to us his stomach might figuratively and I said to Frank, "You tear the poor animal in two and know something about gorillas. leave him paralysed on the can­ Do you think that a well­ vas or jungle. He didn't spend trained. well-conditioned prize- years of doing bending and mat

58 PANORAMA exercises. A man has twenty­ than that of a dog. A gorilla four ribs. Your encyclopedia has no reasoning process worthy will tell you that a gorilla has of the name. Suppose he were but thirteen. Between the ribs, fighting Joe Louis. What would below the breastbone, there are he make of that amazing fast nerve centres. If t h e y are left jab? It would bewilder shocked the shock travels to the him considerably. A gorilla spine, temporarily causing pa­ doesn't know pain, they say. ralysis. The ribs and well­ Suppose Louis or Schmeling or developed muscles between the any of the first ten ranking ribs protect these nerve centres. heavyweights were to land a Twenty-four ribs are much punch let's say on the gorilla's more protection than thirteen. Adam's apple. Then he would There is the question of the know pain. Were you ever hit gorilla's enormous teeth which on the Adam's apple? It isn't look so frightening. He could fun. Jack Dempsey hit me there do a lot of damage with his when we boxed in Philadelphia teeth and he doesn't know it. and I felt as though I were To begin with he lives on a swallowing whole pineapples vegetable diet. He isn't a meat for a week after. Martin John­ eater, would hardly relish a bite son told me a well-placed punch of tough human muscle. Any­ on the jaw would down the one who lives only on what the average large gorilla. dieticians call soft food must As soon as the gorilla felt have weak teeth. They haven't pain his reaction would be to been hardened by tearing meat. rush in furiously. A good fight­ A good righthand punch would er would side step, swing a right probably send eight of the go­ to the jaw and the birdies sing. rilla's teeth flying out to the sev­ Any animal who has a brain, a enth row. nervous system and a spinal A gorilla has a skull which cord, can be knocked out.­ closely resembles the skull of a -Gene Tunney, (former World's Heavy-weight Champion of Box­ man. However, encased in that ing) condensed from Connecticut skull is a small brain, smaller Nutmeg.

SURGEON (to attendant): Go and get the name of the accident victim so that we can inform his mother. ATTENDANT (three minutes later): He says his mother knows his name.-Boys' Life.

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