'Wish' Away the Muggers Sports and Other Shorts
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The Arts September 16, 1974, The Retriever, Page 9 'Wish' away the muggers 'Whatever weird things you have heard A drug addict holds him up~ and BLAM! everybody's favorite slugger had just "KILL HIM!" more scream. BLAM! The about "De'ath Wish", starring Charles He kills his first mugger. The audience is belted a three-run homer. kid falls dead as a baseball bat and the Bronson. as the defender of the middle smiling more. He vomits after the murder, Bronson keeps baiting muggers, and I crowd roars with satisfaction. as if class, are probably true. It's an absolute but the sympathetic liberal in him has been keep drinking Mexican beers more ner as if 1 were a boyeur who had stumbled must for every mass psychology student. ~aten away by revenge, and Bronson vously. They're gonna get me, I think. I drunkenly into a private party. The line was a block long on a Wednes \Jecomes the angry anonymous here of the survey the crowd and three-fouths of it is A sensation-hungry press crowns Bron day night when it opened in, Baltimore. I middle class. middle-aged, middle-class, humorless ex son an international hero, but no one ever grabbed an end seat, munched on some I sip my third beer nervously, avoiding cept for their strange laughter to Bronson's discovers his identity. Hail Vigilante! He buttered popcorn and opened a six-pack of the grandmother next to me who's pound revenge killings. singlehandedly cuts the New York City Mexican beer. I studied the faces around ing a big black umbrella into the floor every Like the old sheriff of Old Tuscon, he crime rate in half, from 950 muggings a me. Everybody looked like Charies Bron time Bronson kills a mugger. always waits until they draw a weapon. week to a scant 470. People start defending son. Even the women. Everybody was Three kids roll an old man on the screen, Then he kills in self-defense. And he's no thimselves and other wictims. About 15 ugly, but that's the Bronson audience. The Bronson discovers them, they draw on him racist. He kills all colors-- white, black, hardhats stomp a longhair into the emer girl in back of me had a brown fu manchu like young gunfighters and he shoots two Chicano, it doesn't matter. But strange gency ward after the poor bastard steals a and 'a scar across her Adam's apple. dead. The wpunded third one, about 13, thing-- the muggers and rapists are all wallet. The audience chuckles joyously. The movie begins and everyone becomes climbs a fence, Bronson takes slow aim, young. I push my shoulder-length hair Bronson's ultimately run out of town by as quiet as nuns entering a convent. and the audience goes crazy. "KILL THE inside my collar and finish up the beer the police. The perfect ending to a hokey Bronson plays a sympathetic liberal, a. BASTARD!" the grandmother next to me quickly. Surrounded by crazies. The western with soap opera dialogue. I shove nice, quiet engineer for a New York shouts, whacking me with the umbrella. gra~d!D0ther with the umbrella looks at me my empties under the seat and try to development corporation, who was a con slither away before it ends. There I was, scientious objector in the medical unit in crawling up the aisle, minding my own the Korean War. He's married to Hope business. when I ' spot a quarter on the Lange [remember "The Ghost and Mrs. floor. I stick it in my pocket and keep Muir"?] and,everything's peachy. crawling. Until three youths crash into their "He stole my quarter!" a kid bawls. The apartment, beat and rape his daughter and crowd grumbles. The grandmother with beat his wife to death. The dauthter goes the umbrella has followed me up the aisle, into severe shock. whacking me on the head with each crawl. And that's what happens in the first 15 People spring from their seats after me. minutes. The theater is still quiet as a "KILL THE BASTARD!" one screams, convent. Bronson keeps the tragedy inside and I run like a Vietcong out the door with himself silently, and it grow like a malig the pack behind me, jump into the car, nant tumor. He takes a walk one night with , knock three trashcans and one mugger two rolls of quarters in a sock and is over, and roar home. stopped by a mugger. "Hand me the Yet I still fight the urge to cruise around money," the kid growls. WHAP! The at night, looking for rapists and muggers. quarters slam into the kid's face, and the Watching "Death Wish" is like watching real weidness begins. Nixon: it brings out everything fruesome The audience is smiling. and dangerous in a person. I have replaced Bronson flies to Arizona to work on a my watchdog with three cobras. Stay away development project, grimly watches a from "Death Wish" audiences. They're fake gunfight staged in Old Tucson, and the ones who keep their hands close to his eyes brighten as the sheriff kills the bad their pockets, ready to draw if you pick guy. He gets a gun as a present and begins your nose. And they all look like Charles a routime of walking the toughest streets in YOUNG:POWERFUL AND SCARY Bronson. New York City ~t night. MAXGUMP :r~eil Young hits the mark Sermonette "When I think about my own death, I BY BARRY HOFFMAN In fairness to the man, Clapton's choice classic. Elements of soul, folk, hark rock, don't consQle myself with the idea that First, the bad news. Eric Oapton's 461 of unoriginal material is good, though the and ballad styles are scattered throughout my decendants and my boo~s and all OCEAN BOULEVARD performances aren't. "Steady Rolling the eight songs. And the lyrics--will, Neil that will live on. Anybody with any Bad enou~h to find out that "God" is a Man" and "I Shot the Sheriff" are, at says more in one song on this one than sense knows that the whole solar system junkie, right? Still worse that he should least, listenable. But "Willie and the Hand most song-writers do in three albums. will go up like a celluloid collar by and take one of his therapy sessions and try to Jive" becomes an 'exercise in pure tedium. There really aren't any standouts, by. I honestly believe, though, that we pawn it off on his fans as an album. He ad Friends who saw Clapton's Largo because every song is better than first rate. are wrong to think that moments go mitted in Rolling Sttme that he off-the- concert tell me he can still do what he used My favorites are the title cut, Neil's stab at ' away, never to b~r seen again. This moment and every moment lasts cuffed this album down in Miame, and that to, but that he doesn't do it much or for improvising a song while recording it, , he wrote and worked the whole thing out in very long. I think he might yet make it which, unlike Clapton's tries, brings forth forever." the studio--but his fans still ate it up. Boy back. At least "God" isn't dead. powerful and scary results, and the KURT VONNEGUT JR. must they have 'been downed out. And now, from the Atlantic to the Pacific Dylanesque "Ambulance Blues" and "See The Clapton-Terry originals are at best we journey, to meet Neil Young ON TIJE which I believe is the best single song half-songs with long boring fadeouts. The BEACH. If you haven't heard by now, Young has ever written. "Revolution band is good but about as exciting as spit Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young's "Second Blues" and "See the Sky About to Rain" -Nope. on the curb. And the only thing that could Coming" made cripples walk, blind men also deserve mention. possibly be worse would be that Clapton see, and cops take acid. , So if is that Neil Throughout the Crosby, Stills comeback BRING ME THE HE'\D OF ALFREDO wouldn't even do a single solo on the Young timed his new release perfectly, es tour, Neil repeatedly (But politely, for a GARCIA record. Guess what you won't be hearing pecially since it's hes best album since change) refused to do interviews. This DIRECTED BY SAM PECHIN?AH on "461 Ocean Boulevard"? - AFTER THE GOLD RUSH. And the more I , record is a pretty good explanation for that BY NEAL MCGARIT f hear ON THE BEACH, the more tempted I There's the same kind of spectacular reticence. The music and words speak for Bring me the head of Sam Pechinpah. variety that made GOLD RUSH such a am to move that estimation upwards. , themselves. Sports and other shorts Mo~cs Malone will not be mentiofl.ed in trouble-boy Joe Don Looney. The purpose taken a large step to solidify an already BY ROBERT CRAMBLITT this""article: " ' of the award would be to honor NFL play sound defense. The Bulls recently acquired Some random notes while contemplating Hank Aaron's bat has slapped out a wide - ers and alumni whose eccentric behavior 6-11 center Nate [the Great] Thurmond the quality of football T.V. fans will be in variety of hits, nearly 3,000 in all, but has caused great headaches within the from San Francisco for center Clifford Ray gesting nation-wide this year: never the variety that Elvin Bishop management.