AUDIO Insider AUDIO insider... The jade pyramiD aND The Land of THe GEMINI CONTAgION The Rising sun The Eleventh Doctor’s latest audio adventures see him face demons and Samurai in Japan hasn’t had much matriarch. Cue a 13-story high feudal Japan and a unique linguistic problem in the 22nd Century… luck in the Doctor Who reptile with laser vision and ultra- AudioGO $19.95 futuristic robotrox warriors. Authors: Martin Day and Jason Arnopp universe: Read by: Matt Smith and Meera Syal (The Road to Hell – Doctor Who The Jade Pyramid Released: Out now The Master destroyed Japan Magazine comic strip). What HAPPENS… during the calamitous year that Energy vampire Axos took over In medieval Japan, the never was (Last of the Time Lords the youth of Japan using a all-powerful Shogun Making the Myth: – TV). Martha only just managed brain-enhancing fizzy drink and a has dispatched seven to escape the carnage (The Story The Doctor claims he always tries to remain neutral cutesy Anime show (The Golden Samurai to retrieve in local matters. Really Doctor? Are you sure? of Martha – BBC Books). a mysterious artifact Ones – Doctor Who Magazine Amy hates playing the defenseless female stereotype Fact into Fiction: Japan was one of the first nations from the solitary Kokan comic strip). but will if it means she gets her own way The monstrous Otoroshi are to fall to invading Dalek forces. shrine. As the Doctor tries to The Doctor, Rose and Captain huge, hair-covered manikins (The Stolen Earth – TV). prevent a massacre and finds The Doctor adds to his growing “Geronimo!” count Jack visited Japan in 1226 for an that guard the Kokan shrine. In the 17th-Century, alien himself targeted by a ninja, When she was little, Amelia Pond visited a waxwork untold adventure. Here’s hoping They were inspired by traditional scientists caused havoc Amy explores the shrine with museum and freaked out, imagining that the they didn’t cause too much grief. demons said to hang from the gates by revealing the secrets of a disgraced Ronin at her side. dummies were waiting to come alive. Good job she’s (Bad Wolf – TV). of Shinto shrines. If you dared enter nanotechnology to a local She soon discovers that the never going to meet the Autons. Oh, hang on… the temple with mischief in mind, the ogre-like manikins that guard hirsute sentinels would drop down from the Jade Pyramid aren’t what above and rip you to shreds. Nasty. they seem… “The idea of the Otoroshi scuttling The Gemini Contagion across ceilings came very late in the day,” explains author Martin Day. “I Seven things you should know about We discover Amy has always wanted to didn’t want them just shambling about The Gemini Contagion learn French but hasn’t bothered, as she thought she’d never leave Leadworth. like big overcoats – especially as, with It is 2112. On the ice-planet Vinsk a new 5 She soon becomes au fait with all manner of audio books, one doesn’t have handwash, Gemini, is about to ship to alien tongues. to worry about the budget.” 1 Earth. Its unique selling point is that it includes Meme-Spawn DNA. One wash of your Originally the virus was to be spread via hands will enable you to speak every language an energy drink, until commissioning Interview: Martin Day in the cosmos. 6 editor Michael Stevens pointed out the similarity to Bubble Shock! from The Sarah Meme-Spawn (memicillius-spawnonica) single Jane Adventures. “A handwash is so much are micro-organisms that drift through Behind the scenes language in existence. better,” admits Arnopp, “I also liked an anti-viral the universe, absorbing each language Why did you choose to send the TARDIS to Japan? 2 It quickly drives you insane.” handwash becoming a virus itself. You turn to it they encounter. There is an annoying side I loved shows like The Water Margin and Monkey when I was a kid Once infected, the human inhabitants for protection, but there’s no escape.” effect: You’ll also be transformed into a violent and have been interested in all things Oriental ever since. I don’t of Vinsk repeatedly yell, “Listen to me!” so-and-so with the insatiable – and highly Arnopp’s favorite character is Korn Palloa, consider myself an expert though. I’ve been doing kendo, kenjutsu The urgent plea was inspired by Arnopp’s contagious – need to speak every language at 4 the Vinskan scientist who causes the and iaido for about five years and am very aware how little I know. belief that we’re all listening to each other less: the same time. 7 whole disaster. “Initially arrogant,” says Was it daunting knowing that Matt Smith himself would be “We have more channels of communication Arnopp, “she comes to regret not carrying out “Inside your head, your brain is working reading your story? than ever before, so pay less attention to each thorough tests on Gemini. Hopefully you feel a overtime,” writer Jason Arnopp explains. one. How may times have you half-listened to It certainly was a thrill to write for him. He was so new to the part little sorry for her in the end.” “You’re desperate to communicate with someone, while concentrating much more on that I wrote the whole thing without even seeing him as the Doctor. 3 whoever is within grabbing distance, but the Really Fascinating Thing you’re planning to I later watched a sneak preview and was allowed a quick rewrite simultaneously attempting to process every say? We should stop that. Bad humans.” to make sure it wasn’t a million miles wide of the mark.

Compiled by: Cavan Scott 32 33