Volume 40 - Issue 24 - Friday, April 22, 2005

Home , Chain Gang of Love, Chris Barrie, Norman Lovett, Pretty in Black, Quarantine (Red Dwarf), Robert Llewellyn

Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology Rose-Hulman Scholar

The Rose Thorn Archive Student Newspaper

Spring 4-22-2005

Rose Thorn Staff Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, [email protected]

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This Book is brought to you for free and open access by the Student Newspaper at Rose-Hulman Scholar. It has been accepted for inclusion in The Rose Thorn Archive by an authorized administrator of Rose-Hulman Scholar. For more information, please contact [email protected]. ROSE-HULMAN INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY T ERRE HAUTE, INDIANA Friday, April 22, 2005 Volume 40, Issue 24

News Briefs Diversity week opens eyes by Angela Smiley Angela Smiley Assistant News Editor Muslim-Americans Sue Last week, the Rose-Hul- Government man Diversity Council, the Terre Haute Human Rights Five Muslim-Americans have fi led Day committee, the Human- ities and Social Sciences De- suit against the U.S. Department of partment, and half a dozen Homeland Security for alleged racial student-led organizations profi ling. participated in Diversity The plaintiffs, along with others, Week, a set of events intend- were detained upon attempting to ed to offer Rose students a cross the Canadian-American border glimpse of the multicultural while returning from a 2004 confer- world in which they will one ence entitled “Reviving the Islamic day live and work. Spirit.” The plaintiffs are seeking the The week began with a presentation by Tim Solso, destruction of personal information CEO of multinational Cum- gathered during the detention and an mins, Inc., which filled the injunction against similar future ac- Myers Presentation Room to tions. capacity. Solso’s talk, titled “How to Survive in the Global Workforce,” stressed the im- Andrea Brown / Layout Manager NASA Adjusts Shuttle portance of being capable of Three Rose students participate in the national Day of Silence on Wednesday, April 13. connecting with and respect- Safety Standards ing those from backgrounds pus by Rose-Hulman Unity, ematic art from other cul- a combination of Chinese other than one’s own. It is meant as an expression of tures. Wednesday, the HSS food and film which drew Internal documents leaked to the touched on differences such support for individuals who Department’s Elsie Pawley both international and do- as race and gender, and was experience discrimination Fund sponsored the showing mestic attendees. And Sun- New York Times today show that NASA jointly sponsored by the Di- and harassment because of four Iranian films, includ- day, the Jewish Culture Club is revising their standards governing versity Council, the National of their sexual orientation. ing a drama titled ‘Kandahar’ held a showing of Fiddler on what constitutes “acceptable risk” to Society of Black Engineers Participants were silent from which portrayed the hard- the Roof, the film version of a a shuttle and its crew in fl ight. (NSBE) and the Society of the time they awoke in the ships endured by women classic musical following the Critics claim that the original stan- Women Engineers. morning until 5 p.m., when and children in Afghanistan lives of a Jewish family (and dards, put in place by the board which On Wednesday, some stu- they gathered to celebrate under Taliban rule, and a village) in the years leading investigated the destruction of the dents gave up speech for a symbolic “breaking of the comedy set in Tehran titled up to the Bolshevik Revolu- shuttle Columbia, were too diffi cult the day in conjunction with silence.” ‘Children of Heaven.’ Fri- tion in Russia. for NASA to meet in time to launch the National Day of Silence. Much of the week’s pro- day, the International Stu- This event, brought to cam- gram featured works of cin- dent Association sponsored Continued on Page 3... Discovery in late May or early June as planned. Seniors to the fore: Mechanical Engineering

AMD Announces New Alex Clerc ative solutions,” Gibson said. News Editor One such group that found Dual-Core Processor a creative solution to a chal- This year there are 30 ME lenging problem includes On April 21, Advanced Micro De- design groups tackling proj- Chester Clark, David Kai- vices announced production of a new ects from as large as a 7-pas- ser, David Radue, and David line of processors which incorporate senger space wagon to as Schwarz. Clark’s group chose two separate chips in a single piece small as a 1-inch-long igniter. a service learning project with of silicon. AMD’s dual-core chip, the The broad range of real-world a local doctor. Their goal was Opteron, will be available in a server problems the students are to somehow alleviate painful, solving are provided by out- debilitating pressure sores ex- version this summer and in a work- side clients from near and perienced by wheelchair us- station version by the end of the year. far, even as far as Kanazawa, ers. Their fi nal solution was a The Opteron line would go head-to- Japan. new kind of chair, a chair that head with Intel’s Pentium Extreme J. Darrell Gibson, Professor Alex Clerc / News Editor allows the user to “sit” on their Edition, which is currently available of Mechanical Engineering, A ME senior project group worked on restoring the Bollinger Space knees and stomach give their in a workstation model and is set to described the project as an im- Wagon for on-campus use. back a rest. debut in a server version sometime portant introduction to design The group was very excited next year. in the real world of engineer- Gibson also stressed that discuss the problem face-to- about the design aspect of the ing: “What we try to do is give these are design projects. “De- face. Many companies also project and found that their our students team experience sign is a response to a particu- cover testing, manufactur- secret to success was in brain- and real problems that come lar problem… it is much more ing, or prototyping expenses. storming ideas as a team and Friday from industry.” The group can open-ended than analysis or Rose-Hulman, however, does communicating effectively. Storms 72 Hi / 37 Lo also do a “service learning” research and development.” not charge the companies for The more diffi cult part, they Saturday project by solving engineering The project involves a great the work the students do. agreed, was getting specifi ca- Showers 47 Hi / 28 Lo problems for the community. deal of communication with “This frees the students from tions and parts from medical The students then have winter the outside client. Most com- doing things the company’s companies. Provided by www.weather.com and spring term to come up panies will pay for the groups way… the groups can direct with a creative solution. to travel to the company to themselves and think of cre- Continued on Page 3...

News Entertainment Opinions Sports Flipside

2015 Forum Round II Red Dwarf assassinates Up next: daft rubbish. Softball 1st in division. “This is not an internet his green onion. Will kidnap SCAC. chat böard. This is a newspaper.” Page 3 Page 4 & 5 Page 6 Page 7 Page 8 2 CLASSIFIEDS The Rose Thorn Classifi eds Large 3 Bedroom House Why are you paying more... Large bedrooms, 2 full bathrooms, central air, and washer/ dryer. 5-10 minutes from campus. Quiet neighborhood. $650.00 per month plus utilities. For more information, call 234-5680. When you can get more for less??? 3 Bedroom Home For 2-4 persons. Central air, washer and dryer, fridge, range, It costs more than $6000 to have a and dishwasher. 24/7 maintenance. At location. Available after single on campus for the school year. August 1st. Very nice. 812-478-9286. Plus the cost of the mandatory meal plan in most halls. Apartment for Rent 4 bedroom, 2 bath, dishwasher, central air. $200 per student. Our “Off Campus Dorm” Studios East location has full basement with washer and dryer. 1 block off Wabash. 812-232-0372. Ask for Phillip or Mary Kay Wilson. cost only $350 per month Apartments and houses Including everything AND the kitchen sink: Available January, 1-4 Bedroom Apts & Houses. Starting at $335/ month. ROI Apts. 232-2466. All utilities, a bed, a dresser, a private bath, a refrigerator, a microwave, wireless internet, on-site For Rent Houses for rent, 3, 4, and 5 bedrooms, lawn care provided, 234- laundry facilities, a restaurant nearby and ample parking. 9800. For Rent With only a 10-minute walk to campus, we have to ask: Beautiful, historic house, 7 bedrooms, 3 and 1/2 bath, central air, gas heat, 2 kitchens, 2 washers and 2 dryers, lawn care provided, 502 S. 6th St., $1600/mo. + utilities, this won’t last long! Why are you paying more??? 234-9800. For Rent (save gas $ for fun things!) 4 BR/ 1 BA and 2 BR/1 BA 8min from campus $225 per BR plus utilities and deposit W/D included, no pets, no yard work RHIT Sharp Flats East students preferred. (812) 230-0506. (812) 877-1146 6 Bedroom House [email protected] Approximately 10 minutes from campus. This home has large bedrooms, 1 1/2 baths, central, washer/dryer hookups and many other features. Quiet neighborhood. $850.00 per See our effi ciencies, studios, and 1 bedrooms month plus utilities. Available June 1st. For more informa- on the web at www.sharpfl ats.com tion, call 234-5680. Located just East of Campus at the fi rst light, U.S.40 and Hunt Road 1 Bedroom Apartment offi ce hours Wed & Fri 3-5pm or by appointment This contemporary apartment has spacious rooms, total electric, and quiet neighborhood. $350.00 plus electric. For more information, call 234-5680. Need a Vacation Need a Vacation for 4 or 8? We bought these packages, but cannot use them. Our loss is your 3 Bedroom House gain! Stay in South Florida, Cruise to the Bahamas, choice of Rental car -or- tickets to Universal Nice quiet neighborhood. 10-15 minutes from campus. Clean Orlando, this package has it all! Plus two bonus getaways to Las Vegas and Puerto Vallarta. Call and in great condition $450.00 plus utilities. Available June 8273 or 8253 for details. 1st. For more information, call 234-5680. Spring Picnic Sharp Flats, LLC Come to our Spring Picnic to celebrate the end of the school year on Saturday, April 30, 12:00 Studios, 1 to 4 bedroom units located on or near South 6th noon. Meet at United Campus Ministries, 321 7th St., to travel to the picnic site. Let us know Street. Going fast! You’ll love the choices of these units located you are coming by Friday at noon by calling 232-0187, or by e-mailing us at Jack.A.Diel@rose- in well cared for vintage homes! Sharp Flats, LLC. Call for more hulman.edu. Everyone is welcome! info. 877-1146. More free pizza than you can shake a stick at. Sharp Flats, LLC Want your own space at a great price? Check out Sharp Flats Every week. East! Walking distance from Rose-Hulman. 40 and Hunt Road. Features studios, effi ciencies, and 1-bedrooms. Prices $300- Wednesdays, Olin 157, 5:15 p.m. $400. Call to view units 877-1146.

Editorial Staff Administrative Staff Editor-in-Chief Lissa Avery The Rose Thorn Advertising Manager Odessa Goedert News Editor Alex Clerc CM 5037, 5500 Wabash Ave. Assistant Ad Manager Richard Ballard Assistant News Editor Angela Smiley Terre Haute, IN 47803-3999 Business Manager OPEN Opinions Editor John Kropf Webmaster Steve Pierce Phone:(812)877-8255 Entertainment Editor Mike Jones Advisor Richard House Sports Editor OPEN Fax: (812)877-8166 Humor Editor Gregory Weir E-mail: [email protected] http://www.rose-hulman.edu/thorn Layout Manager Andrea Brown Thorn Staff Copy Editor Bill Waite “Working to keep the Rose-Hulman community informed Writers Robert Herbig Editors Emeriti Bob Schulein by providing an accurate and Bridget Mayer Luke Stark dependable source for news and information.” Aaron Meles Entertainment Ed. Andrew Twarek Emeritus Jacob P. Silvia OPEN The Rose Thorn is published on Fridays Sports Editor Emeritus Josh Annin ﬁ rst through ninth week each quarter Photographer OPEN

The Rose Thorn welcomes and encourages comments from its readers. We request that all letters to the editor be less than 600 words in length. THE DEADLINE FOR CONTENT SUBMISSION IS 5 P.M. TWO DAYS PRIOR TO PUBLICATION All content should be submitted to [email protected] or to the Rose Thorn Offi ce (Hulman Memorial Union room 249). The editors reserve the right to edit submissions for clarity, grammar, length, and factual errors. The editors reserve the right to accept content changes submitted after deadline. All letters must contain the writer’s signature (electronic form is acceptable) and contact information (e-mail address and/or phone number). The views expressed in the Rose Thorn are those of the original author and do not necessarily represent the views of the Rose Thorn staff or Rose-Hulman community. Friday, April 22, 2005 NEWS 3 Diversity, continued Seniors, continued from Page 1 David Kaiser commented that J.D. Mendez worked with the Bollinger Automotive “Space Mo- this could be a timely process company Odyssian Technology, bile” on behalf of the Rose De- from Page 1 because “unfortunately, the real which had a problem with the re- velopment Offi ce. They are cur- The week also allowed students According to Sara Page Po- world has different priorities than liability of igniters in missile guid- rently looking for a student group to share their own culture at the dolsky, a student organizer for we do.” ance systems. Mendez, a physics on campus that has a use for the NSBE Talent Show, held Saturday the event, planning for Diversity Another group that included major, used his prior experience Space Mobile. night in Hatfi eld Hall. The show Week has been in progress since Adnan Ayub, Benjamin Leonard, in the MEMS lab to fabricate a Another service learning proj- featured performances by two Winter Quarter. “I knew it had Brian Page, and Josiah Yoder took bridge wire on the unfi nished ect was done by Emily Dieter, Amy dance troupes, a variety of mu- happened last year, and I thought on an engineering problem from igniters the company provided Hudak, Kim Smith, and Michelle sicians (performing everything it was important to get started on across the world. them with. The Witt. They worked with a fam- from opera to thrash to soul), it early this year,” she remarked, This group’s out- team will collect ily with a three-year-old daugh- poets and even a juggler. Not adding that the preparation time side client came data on as many ter who has Bronchopulmonary all performers were Rose locals had been essential to schedul- from Rose-Hul- kinds of bridge Dysplasia, a lung disease caused - some students came from other ing and promoting the week’s man’s sister uni- wires as possible by premature birth. Their goal area schools, and the evening’s events. versity in Kanaza- to fi nd the most was to design an inexpensive way Master of Ceremonies (initially While formal Diversity Week wa, Japan – the reliable design. to improve her quality of life. “We introduced as “the hostess with events have concluded for this goal was to design One of the more were all attracted to this project the mostest”) was visiting from year, Project SafeZone, one of the a better bus stop exciting parts of because we thought it would be ISU. The show was one of the participating groups, continues for the congested their project, said the most rewarding.” After much Alex Clerc / News Editor best-attended events of Diversity to maintain an informational city sidewalks in J.D. Mendez holds his fi nished Mendez, was the consideration, the team decided Week, with well over three hun- table in the Commons, and the Japan. The group igniters in the MEMS lab. high explosives to purchase an oximeter and de- dred tickets sold and enthusias- student clubs involved with found that bus their company sign a portable carrying case. tic audience participation in the the events will hold meetings stops in Japan were radically dif- provided them with for testing The goal of Andrew Dragon, judging phase of the program. throughout the academic year. ferent from those of America. the igniters. Andrew Getchell, Doug Landis, Many are diffi cult for the disabled Colin Faucett, Jason Kneu- and Steve Shambaugh’s project or the elderly to use, and bus pas- ven, Steven Soots, and Kathy was to protect big rig starter mo- sengers are in constant danger of Wyrzykowski worked on a proj- tors from over-cranking (if the 2015 forum inspires being struck by speeding bicy- ect with Rolls-Royce to reduce driver cranks on the key for too clists as they board and exit the the wear on steel parts. Their long, the motor gets too hot and busses. project, called “Steel Tribology fails). Getchell really enjoyed discussions Wayne L. Sanders, Professor of Design”, involved designing a working with their outside client, Mechanical Engineering, assisted way to test coatings that protect Remy, which hails from Getchell’s Bridget Mayer the forum. One student noted, the group by traveling to Kanaza- from wear. Wyrzykowski enjoyed hometown. Remy, said Getch- Staff Writer “We have an introduction to col- wa and photographing and fi lm- the chance to fi nally use the skills ell, was very open to the group’s lege life class; I think we need ing Japanese bus stops. The she had learned for designing. ideas and helped. The second round of ques- some sort of complementary group produced many creative She also commented that “an But working with starter mo- tions from Rose-Hulman’s “2015: leaving college class to teach us designs and Sanders presented engineering project is not simply tors wasn’t just about the design A Conversation About Our Fu- about things like how to do tax- them in Kanazawa last Febru- ‘pure engineering’ work. It also process to Getchell; he saw the ture” was presented to students es.” ary. International exposure, said involves writing memos, papers, bigger picture. “It is awesome Thursday evening as part of the The topic which drew the Sanders, is critical to engineers. and communication with your because I know that pretty much administration’s efforts to gain most attention was Rose-Hul- “I think every engineer should client.” every big rig that is barrelin’ down insights about the direction the man’s traditions, one of which is have experience in foreign cul- For those of you looking for a the road has one of these starter institute should move. The dis- the Homecoming Bonfi re. Built ture… you may not go to India, sweet ride, Jared Holcomb, Ryan motors in it, and that means that cussion forum, held by SGA Pres- each year by students in different but your job might.” Kopp, Robert Memering, and I am part of all those big rigs… I ident Stefani Vande Lune, drew a classes, the Bonfi re has been re- Serena Oaks, Andy Shold, and Austin Templin are restoring a think that is sweet!” mix of residence hall staff mem- stricted over the past few years. bers and prominent students, Senior mechanical engineer many of whom shared opinions Jacob Klug proposed a tradition based on their personal experi- he would like to see started: “I’d ence at Rose-Hulman. Although like to see an event called Fire Jack Midgley, the school’s presi- and Ice; it would start the fi rst dent and initiator of the 2015 week of winter quarter, and stu- Conversation forums, was not dents would just decorate all of in attendance, several members campus with lights. Then, the of the SGA and David Piker, Vice week before winter break, we’d President for Public Relations, have a fi reworks show over the were present and taking notes. football fi eld.” Introductory questions re- Other ideas for new traditions volved around the technology included an annual engineering and academic needs of students competition between students in the year 2015. Several stu- and faculty, teaching freshmen dents commented that school the school song, and a Rose- work should move more towards Hulman spirit day. One student industry; suggestions included facetiously added that he would having students design their own like to see a student versus fac- laboratory exercises and incorpo- ulty wrestling match; Klug pro- rating more industry experience posed getting a Rose-Hulman into senior design projects. Ques- student on the television show tions regarding Rose-Hulman’s Jeopardy as a means of promot- focus on the well-rounded engi- ing the institute. neer were met with comments Freshman computer engineer- about the diversity and relevance ing major Travis Tomsu said, “I’d of humanities classes offered; one like to see a Get-to-Know-the- student said, “I think we need a Administration Day, where fresh- broader variety of languages; my man can meet the people who middle school offered more than run the school and learn where three languages.” certain offi ces are. Also, it’d be “Unrealistically, I think we cool to get to know the profes- need to move Rose-Hulman out sors in your department right at of Terre Haute,” offered another the beginning”. All in attendance student after Vande Lune asked agreed that the freshman expe- about improvements that could rience is important. “Students be made to the school. While need to take ownership and need most comments centered on ex- to feel like they’re a part of the periences students had already school—the Residence Hall staff had, many commented on op- and the Greek community work portunities they would like to see hard at this, and we need to keep available for future students. The that up. Rose-Hulman is a com- notion of a Rose-Hulman closed- munity of do-ers,” said Klug. circuit television station for in- Although this was the last dis- forming the campus of events cussion forum that will be of- was quite popular, as were ideas fered this year, there is still time for making the Root Quadrangle for interested students and com- a more comfortable gathering munity members to get involved place, and publicizing the clubs in the 2015 Conversation, via fax, and extracurricular activities voicemail, email, and postal mail that often have trouble with self- service. More information can promotion. be found on the Rose-Hulman Classes were also a hot topic at website. 4 ENTERTAINMENT The Rose Thorn

Out This Week

In Theatres Raveonettes still jingling Michael Jones things about as simple as pos- A Lot Like Love Entertainment Editor sible. Directed by Nigel Cole Pretty In Black is certainly still Starring Ashton Kutcher I’ve been a supporter of The inspired by mid century American Rated PG-13 Raveonettes since I fi rst heard pop. The boy/girl harmonies are their previous album Chain Gang still everywhere, as well as the King’s Ransom of Love in 2003. I have also been slick lyrical style. However, the Directed by Jeff Byrd known to enjoy listening to their fuzzy distortion has been traded Starring Anthony Anderson EP, Whip it On, from time to in for a slew of echoing effects. Rated PG-13 time. Both albums were some- The lead guitar tracks are much what strange in that they in- twangier, and the power chords Kung Fu Hustle sisted on taking musical mas- are much less prevalent then Directed by Stephen Chow sive influence from the 50’s and before. The album is also much Starring Wah Yuen 60’s and adding huge amounts of lengthier, checking in at 44 min- Rated R distortion to them. Also strange utes (15 longer then Chain Gang was that both albums were re- of Love; a whopping 25 minutes The Intrepreter corded exclusively in one key: longer than the eight-song Whip Directed by Sydney Pollack Whip it On in B minor, and it On.) Starring Nicole Kidman Chain Gang of Love in glorious The fi rst single from Pretty Rated PG-13 B major. Both albums con- in Black is the slick “Love in a sisted mostly of short-lived, Trashcan.” Power chords once The Game of Their Lives power chord tunes combined again dominate the rhythm, but Directed by David Anspaugh with impeccably-played boy/girl a twanging lead guitar takes the Starring Wes Bentley harmonies from the only two center stage for this immediately Photo from theraveonettes.com Rated PG permanent members, Sune Rose fun tune. It’s also the most simil- The Raveonettes attempt to put on their cool faces Limited Release Wagner and Sharin Foo. iar to the bands work from the I was surprised when I fi rst got past. In “Seductress of Bums” the appears on Pretty in Black. I’ve there is definitely no disap- On DVD a listen to their newest release drums reverberate like a Joy Divi- never been a fan of covers being pointment in that respect. The Pretty In Black. The fi rst track, sion song, and most of the vocals on LPs, and to cover such a boy/girl harmonies, which are so Birth “The Heavens,” is nearly four are surprisingly done solo. “Twi- recognizable song just seems essential in defi ning their sound, minutes long, doesn’t have any light” brilliantly combines silly to me. Also, the album is too still appear in nearly every song Malevolence of the band’s notorious noise elements from the band’s pre- long for its own good. Since most and are just as good as ever. Even or distortion, and is acoustic. vious releases with their new di- of the songs sound very similar though they are an image-inten- “That 70’s Show” OK, maybe it’s not all that shock- rection. The warped guitar noise to each other, it seems unnec- sive band, their image is at least 2nd Season ing. It’s not as if The Raveonettes returns, but is merely used as a essary for the album to be a 13 supported by the sound of their could continue recording songs backdrop to a more resonating song, 44-minute long album. The music. They make you want to that shamelessly ripped off late lead guitar. short length of The Raveonettes wear black leather with chains Box Offi ce Tops 50’s and early 60’s rock. So what’s The 50’s infl uence is taken too past recordings are more appro- jingling from it. And despite the obvious choice? For The Ra- far at times, though. “Here Comes priate for their style. such a large emphasis on image, 1. The Amityville Horror veonettes, it was shamelessly rip- Mary” sounds so much like the Overall, though, the album is somehow The Raveonettes still ping off early 50’s rock instead. Everly Brothers’ “All I Have to still enjoyable to listen to. The attract me as a listener, despite 2. Sahara But they actually manage to pull do is Dream” that I laughed out most important part of The the lack of originality in their mu- off this move (somehow) by stick- loud upon hearing it. Even more Raveonettes has always been sic. I don’t know. I guess it just has 3. Fever Pitch ing with their Jesus and Mary overboard is that a cover of The the slick, pleasurable throwbacks something to do with the whole Chain infl uences, and keeping Angels’ “My Boyfriend’s Back” to mid-century pop music, and “writing good songs” thing. “Assassins” becomes an obsession

Michael Jones one you’ve never met. It could years. There have been at- true identity. Some students to remain in the game for more Entertainment Editor be your roommate. tempts over the last few years, have started wearing hats and than one day is diffi cult. The rules each resulting different clothes to throw their If you missed the game this This week, students all over of the game in some sort of hunters off the path. Many stu- year, you’ll have to wait at least campus have been particularly are simple complication dents removed their pictures until the start of next school suspicious of everyone around enough. The This guy came that ended the from the Facebook.com, and year to get a chance at some them (even their friends). way to “assas- up and asked plans. some even temporarily re- of your peers. However, RHA They’ve spent the week looking sinate” your This year moved their websites from the has explained that there are al- over there shoulders, sneaking marked player me if I was Zach, the event was Rose directory. ready plans for multiple games around the halls, and fi nding is to simply sponsored and Players have been noticeably for next school year, so be sure alternate paths to class in an at- touch him on and I said ‘nope.’ organized by paranoid since the game began to spend some extra time this tempt to slip under the radar of the shoulder the RHA, and at the beginning of the week. Ju- summer sharpening up your their peers. Some of them have and say, “RHA students have nior ME Zach Lytle explains, “It’s sneaking skills. And trust me, even been skipping classes just assassin” —Zach Lytle responded scary when people start getting students here are taking the so nobody knows their location. (also, the use very well to the close to you in the hall, especial- game very seriously. And they So what’s with all the paranoia? of harmless game. Players ly when they look suspicious. should be - “Assassins” is a These students actually have nerf weapons is permissible). have been getting very creative This guy came up and asked me highly enjoyable game that a good excuse for acting this When you sign up in ad- in their attempts to lure their if I was Zach, and I said ‘nope,’” anybody can be good at. Be on way. They’re participating in the vance, you must give yourself opponents near them, and in Many of the players were elimi- the lookout for emails for this campus-wide, RHA-sponsored a “kill code”. If another player their attempts to hide their nated on the fi rst day of play, so event next year. “Assassins” game. successfully kills you, you must In the game, students must give them your code. Then that seek out an assigned person player must go to the game web- who they must “assassinate” site and enter your code to have without being killed them- you removed from the game. selves. The interesting part is You must also pass your marked that if you’re a participant, you player to them, so that they can only know who you have been now hunt your opponent down. assigned to hunt down. Your The game continues until only opponent has no idea that you one player is left standing. have been sent to fi nd him and This year’s game is special you have no idea who’s trying because it is the fi rst Assas- to fi nd you. It could be some- sins game on campus in four

RESTAURANT Tired of Studying? Treat yourself to a Steak Dinner! (CORNER OF MAIN ST. & U.S. 40 - SEELYVILLE) (812) 877-2314 Friday, April 22, 2005 ENTERTAINMENT 5 Hostage captivating, action-packed Jacob Silvia negotiator with a bad history. Quentin Tarantino. They drag the Entertainment Editor Emeritus He has become chief in a small, younger brother Kevin along for quiet town. Everything is going the ride. When seeing the Smith At times, I feel that Bruce Willis well, with the exception of his family in their nice SUV, sitting is typecast as a somewhat badass relationship with his wife and pretty in the easy chair of life, police offi cer. Granted, it is my daughter. These problems he they get mad. They follow the opinion that typecasting is a very, pushes aside as he does his job: family at some distance in a beat- very bad thing. At times it means protecting and serving. up red pickup truck. that we are not watching a char- Meet the Smith family, an ex- One thing leads to another acter being played by an “actor” cessively rich family living in a and the Kellys hold the Smiths but an “actor” being himself, only palatial estate in the middle of hostage. Talley must negotiate going by a different name. This is nowhere. Walter Smith (Kevin for their safety. evident with movies like I, Robot, Pollak) tries to be a good father to But that’s too easy. Talley makes in which the script was rewritten his children, especially with the some headway, and then passes to suit Mr. Smith’s acting talent. absence of his wife. However, he’s the torch off, heading home to see With Willis, it’s not as bad. It a successful businessman, and his wife after a busy day of work. seems that even though he has his must make a compromise be- A group of masked men ap- staple attributes, including the tween work and family, spreading prehend Talley and demand that steely blue-eyed stare, he adds a himself too thin in both direc- he continue the negotiations, unique fl avor of life to each char- tions. Tommy (Jimmy Bennett) enabling them to get inside the acter. Most recently, he’s played a expresses his lack of quality time house and get a DVD. police offi cer on two different with Dad by building a secret fort No, they’re not a video rental photo from imdb.com occasions: the awesomely well- throughout the house, using the place. They are an army of McGuf- Willis stars in a role that is becomming common for him: a cop. made Sin City and Hostage. AC system as an elaborate series of fi ns who need the DVD because it I had doubts about Hostage at tunnels. Jennifer (Michelle Horn) has some important information of like a video game: a kid crawl- Namely, Splinter Cell: Pandora To- fi rst. I had heard no press about is a typical rebellious teenage girl: on it. Their ace-in-the-hole? How ing through ducts like he’s Solid morrow and Splinter Cell: Chaos it. It just came and fell by the drugs, parties, boys, et cetera. ‘bout kidnapping Talley’s wife Snake (Metal Gear series), peo- Theory. Both are espionage-type wayside, awaiting the distributor Meet the Kelly gang: Dennis, and daughter, threatening to kill ple who can take a few bullets games, emphasizing stealth. to take the fi lm reels back to the Kevin, and Mars Krupcheck. them? That works, surprisingly. without going into shock, and Though this fi lm came out a while distribution warehouse. In the Dennis, the older brother, gangs The movie was action-packed, other video-game clichés. Check- ago, it’s still not too late to see it. It’s end, though, I was surprised. up with Mars, a creepy guy who with gunshots, violence and some ing the creds of the director, one a great little fi lm that doesn’t require Hostage is a fi lm about Jeff looks like the illegitimate love edge-of-your-seat moments. I Florent Emilio Siri, I discovered too much thought. At the very least, Talley (Willis), a former hostage child of Robert Rodriguez and thought that it played out sort this: he directed video games. Hostage will captivate you. A felis sapien? Jacob Silvia John-Jules), a Felis sapien, a crea- Entertainment Editor Emeritus ture evolved from Lister’s cat who acts exactly as a cat would were If you’ve seen the movie Alien, he a human. After integrating him you would know that “in space, into their makeshift crew, the gang no one can hear you scream.” discovers a mechanoid named Apparently that maxim is not true Kryten (Robert Llewellyn) whose for laughter, thanks to the come- charge is a group of skeletons for- dic genius behind “Red Dwarf.” merly belonging to his living crew. Series V and VI (to be a stickler, They relieve him of his duties and yes, “series” and not “seasons”), bring him aboard Red Dwarf. He aired on the telly in 1992 and 1993, makes himself useful as the ship’s are the latest episodes of “Red butler, maid, and every other ser- Dwarf” to be released on DVD. vile role imaginable. Here, we further chronicle the lives In Series V and VI, the crew of Lister, Rimmer, Cat and Kryten. faces all manner of adversity: For those who have no idea what evil robots from the future, a ship “Red Dwarf” is, here’s what you’ve of holograms, GELFs (“Geneti- Hey! You can eat without missed: Lister (Craig Charles), the cally Engineered Life Forms”), lowest-ranked human aboard the evil versions of themselves, and space mining vessel Red Dwarf is a shape-shifting Emo-Hawk (it found in violation of quarantine eats emotions), just to name a code for having brought a cat on few. Each series contains six epi- board. Instead of turning over his sodes, and each episode features leaving your room cat to be dissected and checked for some problem that the crew must deadly diseases, he opts to be put solve. Usually, they do so in a out of commission for the dura- hilarious manner. tion of the journey, forfeiting pay I thought Series VI was particu- and facing discipline when return- larly interesting. Firstly, because ing to Earth. He enters a cryostasis it does not take place aboard Red and getting assassinated! pod, which makes him a non-event Dwarf at all, but instead, aboard in the space-time continuum, es- one of the Starbug vessels. Red sentially freezing him in time. Dwarf is missing, as is Holly. They When he comes to, nobody is pursue it relentlessly while bat- aboard the ship, and he is surround- tling the evils of space. As well, I ed by powdery piles. The ship’s fi nd it interesting because the last computer “Holly” (then played by episode is a cliffhanger. The funny Norman Lovett, replaced by Hattie part is, from 1992, when Series VI Hayridge for a few seasons, then fi rst aired, the fans had to wait for replaced by Lovett again) informs the cliffhanger to be resolved in him that the entire ship’s crew is 1997, when Series VII aired. dead and that Lister has been in “Red Dwarf” is smart and funny, Get Papa John’s delivered! cryostasis for three million years. poking fun at the Sci-Fi pop culture As a matter of providing compan- of the day. Since it’s a BBC humor ionship, Holly activates a hologram (or “humour”) show, the jokes version of the person with which will most likely pass right over Extra Large 1234 WABASH AVE. One Large Lister shared the most words: his the heads of any Yanks trying to loathsome bunkmate, Rimmer watch it, due to the cultural gap One-Topping One-Topping (Chris Barrie), and not his good called the Atlantic Ocean. Also, friend Petersen, or even his love-in- since it’s a BBC show, it has a Store Hours... terest Kochanski. He gets Rimmer: laugh track (live-audience, how- Mon-Wed: 9am - 1am Arnold Judas Rimmer, SSC (Silver ever), and that gets annoying. Thurs-Sat: 9am - 2am 99 Sunday: 12pm - 12am 99 Swimming Certifi cate). Rimmer, Regardless, if Star Trek, Star Campus Only Campus Only being higher-ranked than Lister, Wars, or any other sci-fi franchise ONLY 9 ONLY 7 assumes command and refuses to is too serious for you, try “Red let Holly shut him off. Lister is stuck Dwarf” for a lighter side of the Limited Delivery Area - Coupon Required Limited Delivery Area - Coupon Required ORIGINAL OR THIN CRUST WHERE ORIGINAL OR THIN CRUST WHERE with him now. dark reaches of outer space. AVAILABLE Expires: 5/28/05. Not valid AVAILABLE Expires: 5/28/05. Not valid They are alerted to another life Besides, people might think with any other offer. Valid only at participat- 232-PAPA with any other offer. Valid only at participating locations. Customer pays all applicable ing locations. Customer pays all applicable form aboard the ship. Investigat- you’re cool for watching a foreign sales tax. Additional toppings extra. sales tax. Additional toppings extra. ing, they discover Cat (Danny television show that’s not anime. 6 OPINIONS The Rose Thorn A pointless way of moving around

fuel consumed. This is an utterly daft way to measure fuel con- At least sumption, and the EPA knows I have it. That’s why the numbers they put on the window stickers are opinions only 80 % of what they actually fi nd. That percentage has been steadily dropping since the tests were conceived. But they won’t John Kropf change they way they test cars, Opinions Editor because it would render com- I missed a sure thing. I should parisons to vehicles made in have bought a Prius. Not to drive the past useless. Since no one of course, but to re-sell. Today, ever drives 45 on the highway, people are paying several thou- and most people frequently do sand dollars over the sticker price double that, the reported EPA of a brand new Toyota Prius for a mileage numbers are hard to used model. Everyone else must achieve. know something I don’t. In fact, Jeremy Clarkson, host The Prius is a gasoline electric of the BBC’s well respected and hybrid. Essentially it has two en- award winning motoring pro- gines; an anemically small gaso- gram Top Gear, tested a Prius, http://auto.sohu.com/ line engine, which can power the and achieved only about two “A very expensive, very complex, not terribly green, slow, cheaply made, and pointless way of moving car or power a generator to store thirds of the predicted fuel con- around” - Jeremy Clarkson, BBC’s Top Gear. electricity in a bunch of batteries sumption. But he also drove a and an electric motor that assists Volkswagen Lupo diesel, which features an older diesel engine mands. And that doesn’t take and the losses in transmission, the gasoline engine when the returned much better mileage design, has been near the top of into account any repair costs, an electric car is only about 30% driver needs extra acceleration. than the Prius. And many of the the EPA’s fuel mileage charts for which are guaranteed to be more effi cient, meaning, it extracts For city driving the electric motor next generation European die- years. The only thing stopping expensive than a normal car be- about 30 % of the energy from can use the batteries to drive the sels will do as well as the Prius the United States from being cause no one will make after- the fossil fuel used to provide car, allowing the gasoline engine in practice, without the over- able to buy these modern and market parts, and few people it motive force. The only dif- to be off completely. The whole head of the hybrid drive system. clean diesels is our high sulfur will know how to fi x the hybrid ference was that the emissions point of this intricate system is This parallels the experiences of diesel fuel. As another strike system. were produced at a power plant to save fuel. But they’ve gone many hybrid drivers, who sud- against the Prius’ environmen- As a car, then, the Prius is aw- instead of in the car. And elec- wrong. denly discover that they must tally conscious image, the bat- ful. It’s not fun to drive, and more tric cars didn’t change the world. The car is supposed to be good alter their driving style to get the teries that are used to store the effort is required to achieve the You can’t buy one anymore. for the environment because mileage they though they would electricity will eventually need stellar fuel mileage numbers than They failed, just as hybrids will. it doesn’t use as much fuel as a get. to be replaced. That’s amazingly most people are willing to put They’re a fad. normal car. But the way they A better choice for the envi- expensive and horrible for the forth. And because of the batter- For everyone who really wants achieve the predicted fuel mile- ronmentally conscious driver is environment because the batteries, the car probably isn’t as good to reduce their fuel consumption, age numbers in no way resem- a diesel. In Europe, where low- ies contain a cocktail of poison- for the environment as everyone there is something you can do. bles reality. For example, the En- sulfur diesel fuel is sold, diesels ous heavy metals. claims. Change your driving style. Driv- vironmental Protection Agency feature a smattering of emission But the batteries aren’t the only All the excitement over the Pri- ing slowly, accelerating gently uses a 15 minute drive at a con- control technology that reduces expensive parts of the Prius. Csa- us reminds me of the fervor at- and braking gently, and reducing stant 45 miles per hour to mea- nitrogen oxides, and particulate ba Csere, Editor-in-Chief of Car tached to electric cars years ago. the amount of weight you carry sure highway fuel consumption. matter to amazingly low levels. and Driver magazine has done When they fi rst appeared, envi- around in your car will all help to And to measure the amount of And because a diesel engine is the math and computed that at ronmentalists claimed that they reduce fuel consumption. Those fuel consumed, they collect the a more effi cient design than a today’s gas prices, it would take were the best things since or- things will save more fuel than emissions of the engine in a tank gasoline engine, they go farther around 10 years to save enough ganic turnips. But they weren’t. the purchase of a hybrid will. and analyze the quantity of ex- on each gallon of fuel. In fact, on fuel to offset the excess pur- Once you factor in the effi ciency So do yourself a favor, stay away haust, not the actual amount of the Volkswagen Jetta TDI, which chase price the Prius now com- of the typical coal power plant, from the Prius. Politicians unwelcome in world of sports Matt Wellens performance enhancing drugs dent George W. Bush called for I expect each and every par- Soviet Union invaded Afghani- The North Wind in professional sports after the a crackdown on steroids abuse ent of those 500,000 students to stan, Carter pressured the U.S. (Northern Michigan U.) BALCO scandal and a book by in sports during his State of the be summoned before congress Olympic Committee to boycott controversial retired MLB slug- Union address in 2004, but hasn’t sometime soon because the the summer games in Moscow Politicians enjoy special perks ger Jose Conseco. The commit- offered support for the congres- people who believe professional with threats of revoking its tax that the average fan does not. tee held an 11-hour hearing on sional crusade. athletes are the sole cause of ste- exemption status and withhold- They have little trouble obtain- March 17 where they paraded The former owner of MLB’s roid use in youth are the same ing their funding. Additionally, ing tickets to cheer on their parents who blamed MLB stars Texas Rangers does not believe who believe Marilyn Manson is any U.S. Olympian who attempt- home team or alma mater, and for their children’s suicide af- that federal intervention is the responsible for school shootings. ed to compete would lose his or they never turn down the chance ter the youth took steroids. The way to go. In this instance, Con- The committee’s crusade against her passport and visa, and be to host a championship team at committee then badgered play- gress should follow the lead of steroids isn’t the fi rst time the considered an expatriot. While their estate. While some politi- ers and executives for almost six their commander in chief, a man government has attempted to politicians have good intentions cians exercise these privileges hours, making sure everyone in who has been a member of both over extend its power. In 2001, when they dive into the sports because they are legitimate the committee received ample the sports and political worlds. the U.S. Supreme Court should world to save the day, all they are sports fans, others use teams and airtime on ESPN. Congress’ crusaders aren’t stop- have done its homework when it doing is harm. The harsh real- athletes as a way to gain votes Many representatives came ping at baseball however. Letters granted Casey Martin, who suf- ity is that most politicians know and promote themselves. out of the hearing calling for im- have recently been sent out to fers from degenerative circula- nothing of the sports world. Shaking a few hands at the mediate action by congress. Sen. eight other sports organizations tory disorder, the right to use a When Rep. Dutch Ruppers- rink or throwing out the fi rst John McCain, R-Ariz., appeared including the National Basket- golf cart in Professional Golf As- berger, D-Md., a member of the pitch at the ballpark is harm- on ABC’s “This Week” and shared ball Association, Major League sociation (PGA) Tour events. The committee who investigated less, but when politicians abuse the same misguided views as Soccer, the National Football Court ruled that walking wasn’t a baseball, said Jose Conseco their power and try to become the committee. He was quoted League and the locked-out Na- fundamental part of the sport. might be the best thing that has more than just a fan, they have on the show by the Associated tional Hockey League. Execu- A PGA Tour event consists of happened to baseball, I lose re- crossed the line. Any federal laws Press saying, “It seems to me that tives from the NFL will go before three days of practice rounds, spect for anything this commit- governing any aspect of profes- we ought to seriously consider congress on April 27 to examine followed by four days of com- tee fi nds. All Conseco did in these sional sports tarnish the games. ...a law that says all professional the NFL’s drug testing policy. petitive rounds. This year at the hearings was promote his book Sports leagues and federations sports have a minimum level of “Examining the effectiveness Masters, Tiger Woods had to walk of fairy tales. Politicians have should have the freedom to gov- performance-enhancing drug of the NFL’s policy is a key part about 29 miles in seven days on screwed up our country enough ern themselves. testing.” Thankfully, our found- of understanding why 500,000 his way to his fourth green jack- as it is. We need less government The House Committee on Gov- ing fathers established multiple high school students today have et. And they say walking isn’t a in our lives -- enough to protect ernment Reform is trampling on branches of government in order tried steroids,” Rep. Tom Davis, part of the game. In 1980, Jimmy and serve, not babysit. For once this idea. They are currently in to check themselves, and I don’t R-Va., said in a press release on Carter used the U.S. Olympic can’t they just leave something the midst of a crusade against mean into the boards. Presi- Tuesday. Team as a political tool. When the alone. Have an opinion? Send a letter to the editor. E-mail [email protected] Friday, April 22, 2005 SPORTS 7

Last week’s Women’s tennis prepared for Upcoming sports SCAC Tournament athletic Andrew Twarek scores Staff Writer events Baseball The 2005 Rose-Hulman wom- Baseball April 22-April 24 (18-12, 10-4 SCAC) en’s tennis team is off to a great year with a 10-7 record, claiming Rose-Hulman April 17 more victories than the team has at SCAC Championships Rose-Hulman 10 seen since 2000 and a .500 season 10 a.m. vs. Anderson 6 for the fi rst time in the history of the program. They Engineers are Tuesday, April 26 April 21 seeded No. 5 in this weekend’s Rose-Hulman Rose-Hulman 6 strong SCAC Tournament fi eld, vs. Hanover partly thanks their defeat of con- vs. Southwestern 13 6 p.m. ference foe Centre earlier in the season. Softball After a 2-1 record in the fall, Softball (16-12, 11-1 SCAC) the Engineers opened 2005 on April 22-April 24 April 15 the road. They traveled to Flor- Rose-Hulman Rose-Hulman ida during Quarter Break where at SCAC Championships vs. Depauw they competed with NCAA Div. II 3 p.m. Game 1: 0-7 and III schools. Since returning Game 2: 6-5 home, the team has racked up a 6-3 record, including 9-0 shutouts Tennis of three schools. Their most recent April 22-April 24 April 19 match was a shutout of Thomas Andrew Twarek / Staff Writer Rose-Hulman Megan Lafferty (front) returns a volley as her #1 Doubles Rose-Hulman More last Sunday. at SCAC Championships partner, Krista Gonnermann, waits at the baseline. vs. St. Mary-of-the-Woods “The girls are playing well. (Men’s and Women’s) Game 1: 2-6 They’ve put so much effort and the seniors next year but we have sas. Rose-Hulman was selected as Game 2: 4-2 commitment into the season,” said two juniors to step into the role. the No. 5 team in the tournament head coach Brenda Goble, who has Men’s Golf Megan [Lafferty] and Rachel [Lo- after a successful season that in- led Rose-Hulman since 2000. “We April 23-April 24 gan] are doing a great job as juniors, cluded a 7-2 conference victory Men’s Tennis (9-7) have some really good leaders who Rose-Hulman putting time in on the off-season,” over Centre. April 17 are very disciplined on and off the at SCAC Championships she pointed out. Lafferty owns the Fifth is not a small feat in the Rose-Hulman 6 court and in the classroom,” she team’s top singles record at 12-6 in SCAC. Trinity University and De- vs. Thomas More 0 added. the No. 1 singles slot this season. Pauw University are the 5th and Much of that leadership has Track Three freshmen fi ll out the 6th best Div. III teams in the na- April 22- April 23 April 17 come from the team’s seniors. squad. Kate Martin is making the tion, respectively, and Rhodes Col- Krista Gonnerman and Sarah Rose-Hulman Rose-Hulman 4 biggest impact, with a 10-6 singles lege and Sewanee are both in the Rohrabaugh have both been with at SCAC Championships vs. Illinois Wesleyan 2 record and ties Gonnerman with top 20 as well. The Engineers are the squad for four years, and their 11 wins in doubles play. Mandy paired with Sewanee in the fi rst- leadership has been a great moti- Friday, April 29 Grantz holds a respectable 7-7 round match today, with matches vator this season. “The seniors are singles and 5-5 doubles record, continuing through Sunday. Rose-Hulman always reliable. Their work ethic is Women’s Tennis (10-7) while Danielle Steinke picks up “Women’s tennis is very strong in at Rose-Hulman Twilight rubbing off on their teammates,” April 17 some playing time as well. “I think the SCAC, but we have an opportu- Meet said Coach Goble. They even make Rose-Hulman 9 the freshmen are still learning how nity we’ve never had before. We’re 6 p.m. extra efforts to practice or work out vs. Thomas More 0 to balance Rose-Hulman and ten- going in with a little more respect,” during the day, “putting in double nis. I hope they can learn a lot and said Goble, adding, “We’ll fi nd out time,” she added. Gonnerman has take on leadership roles next year,” how much we’ve improved.” a solid 9-9 record at the No. 2 sin- Goble said. Regardless of the outcome of Teams in bold denote gles position this season and has a The team is on the road this the tournament, however, “suc- Games in bold denote team-high 11 doubles victories. winners weekend at the Southern Colle- cess has been good for the girls,” home games The junior class also impresses giate Athletic Conference Tourna- Goble pointed out. “It has been a Goble. “It will be very tough to lose ment in North Little Rock, Arkan- lot of fun.” Softball travels to SCAC Tournament with 11-1 record Bill Waite gard was the starting pitcher in has a 13-5 record with Yiznitsky Copy Editor game four, giving up just 3 runs behind the plate, while other in 12 innings. Once again, Locke catchers share a combined 3-7 This weekend, the Rose-Hul- sparked the Engineer offense, go- record. man softball team will travel to ing 3 for 5 with 2 runs and an RBI. “Katie has extensive experi- Conway, Arkansas for the SCAC Janae Chaney added 3 runs and ence behind the plate,” said head tournament. The team ended its Clark capped the series with the coach Brian Shearer. “She has SCAC season with an 11-1 confer- game-winning RBI from the des- very good receiving skills and a ence record, earning fi rst place in ignated hitter slot. good arm.” Rose-Hulman has the eastern division. Unfortunately, Rose-Hulman gone 2-2 since Yiznitsky’s injury, As division champions, Rose- will have to go into the SCAC splitting the fi nal two games Hulman will go into the tourna- tournament without starting against Depauw and splitting a ment with a fi rst-round bye. They catcher Katie Yiznitsky. Yiznitsky doubleheader Tuesday against St. will play their fi rst game today at injured her knee sliding into sec- Mary of the Woods. 3 p.m against the winner of the ond base in the second game However, Shearer likes Rose- fi rst-round Depauw vs. Trinity against Depauw. Hulman’s chances. “It is disap- game. “I took a longer stride than nor- pointing not having her, but good The team ended the SCAC mal, and when I landed, my knee teams overcome adversity like season with a bang last week- twisted and I heard a pop,” said this. [Sophomore Nicole Sand- end, going 3-1 in a compelling Yiznitsky. She missed the fi nal ers], normally our third base- 4-game series against Depauw, in two games of the series and will man, will fi ll the catcher’s posi- which every game went into ex- Photo Courtesy Rose-Hulman be out for the rest of the season. tion nicely for the remainder of tra innings. Senior Lauren Clark Senior Janae Chaney tags a runner out at second. She is going “It was very awkward sitting on the season.” pitched two complete games in to the SCAC Tournament with a batting average of .276. the sidelines. I didn’t really like The players share Shearer’s op- Thursday night’s doubleheader, it.” Yiznitsky is scheduled to have timism, and the team is eager to propelling Rose-Hulman to a 2-0 RBIs. Ashley Montgomery added the fi rst game of Friday night’s surgery in June and will start play. Freshman Katie Frey said, series lead. 2 runs and 2 RBIs, including the doubleheader, pitching seven in- catching again this winter. “I’m excited about the tourna- Freshman Erin Locke led the game-winning RBI in game 2. nings of shutout softball only to The team could struggle with- ment, and I think we’ll do really Engineer attack with 2 runs and 4 Clark also took the mound in lose in extra innings. Katie Mag- out Yiznitsky; Rose-Hulman well despite our small roster.” Hertz

Volume 40, Issue 24 Don’t tell me no lies. I only dispense the truth. Friday, April 22, 2005 Top Ten Reasons We Have so Many Blood Drives Wacky Prof Quotes 10. It’s part of their evil plan to get us hooked on their “cookies” and “orange juice.” “If I ever do that again, just shoot me.” 9. It serves as rehabilitation for people who like to stab others’ veins. --Prof. Graves, giving out homework 8. For whatever reason, the interviewers get a kick out of asking us if we have ever taken money or drugs for sex. “Beer seems to be a theme for me.” 7. In combination with the Valium in the ARA food, it is the best way to keep us --Prof. Christ, who likes beer slow and weak. 6. They need more blood to ﬁ nish their monster made of exhumed body parts. “It takes a sick mind to think of things like this. It’s what I 5. Rose is the only place were people are gutsy enough to hook themselves up to do in my ofﬁ ce every day.” those machines that remove the useful parts from your blood and put the --Prof. Herniter, who has a sick mind worthless stuff back in. 4. The blood represents one more way in which this place now owns our souls. “I think the Flipside is about the coolest thing any school 3. The devil doubled his order for “contract blood” in order to sign his pacts. newspaper has ever done. Catching professors caught in 2. Hertz requires precious vitae to perpetuate his cursed existence. the act of being a jackass is just great.” 1. The Red Cross continues its search via blood tests for he who will return balance --Prof. DeVasher, with great respect for her colleagues to the force. -Aaron Meles “I’m a little concerned about losing my membership to the Das Thörn Professors Torturing Students Club.” --Prof. Azhar, torturing students Alex Clerc

“Find the probability of A-ness given B-ness.” Times are changing fast, everyone, and its tough to survive in the --Prof. Sherman, who is an O-ness to us all new global economy unless you have global skills. So every week, I’m bringing you a crash course in a foreign language and culture. This week, “Did anyone notice if I was awake at the end of class you’ll learn everything you’ll ever need to know about German*. Here Tuesday?” are some useful words and phrases important to German engineers: --Prof. Grigg, who wasn’t paying attention

“I am available for birthday parties.” --Prof. Herniter, who does bar mitzvahs too

“...the system that allows you to ﬁ lter out your professor’s droning and still hear what your friend is saying.” --Prof. Laﬂ en, on advanced signal processing

“That’s what’s called the forbidden region. XXXXX. They Trimmen Sie das Häir Clicken Sie däs Möüse don’t have X-rated movies anymore, do they? Or at least they don’t show them in theaters like they used to. Not that I would know.” Die Weissfarbende- --Prof. Hoover, who used to watch X-rated movies komputermaschine

“Sometimes you feel like you’re ﬂ oating on air, but that’s the drugs... and I’ve been there.” --Prof. Sanders, who does drugs

“We don’t need to start anywhere! What are you, some sort of creationistೊ” --Prof. Bryan, who hates creationists

Send your prof quotes or other humor material to Das Boot ﬂ [email protected] Herbig’s Pun of the Week Die leckere Gemüseündkäseündsoßëundbrötëpïzzaspeise I always had trouble on my Physics tests because none of the terms rang a decibel. *This lesson is not recommended by the Rose-Hulman German department. But what do they know?

This Day In History

In 1970, the ﬁ rst Earth Day is celebrated in the United States. It proves far more lasting than October 4, 1968: “Ganymede Day.”

In Addition They told me that I’d never amount to anything, but look at me now. Section editor, talk show host, and all around cool guy.

The Little Line o’ Litigious Lard: The content of The Flipside is intended to be purely humorous, and it does not represent the opinions of the Rose Thorn or Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology. It doesn’t represent anybody’s opinions. Did you want to be what you are now when you were a kid? All material is copyright of its owner. Are you proud of your accomplisments?